Chapter 70
"Don't reckon I could do this too often. Startin' to feel sick eatin' and moving like this." Matthew glared down at the food on his plate unappetizingly.
"Well, I reckon it's romantic. Just sittin' here, eatin' lunch like normal but ya look out and everythin's movin' so fast. It's amazin'." Colleen smiled nostalgically.
"I dunno, Colleen, think Matthew has a point. Maybe we aren't meant to eat, sleep, while we're movin'," Sully shrugged, considering Matthew's statement.
"Sully, don't be ridiculous, you can hardly feel that we're moving. Besides, you sleep in the wagon." Michaela raised an eyebrow, determined to quash such nonsensical conversation.
"When have I," he grinned, "'least not when I'm drivin'." He quickly arrived back to his point. "Ain't the same, ain't movin' this fast." Sully retorted.
"Well, sometimes in the wagon, if it's really bumpy, I feel sick," Brian looked up, eager to contribute to the discussion.
"Yeah, if Dr Mike's drivin'," Matthew chuckled, placing his knife and fork neatly together in the center of his plate.
Colleen buried her mouth in her hands, unable to hide her giggles. Her brother had a very valid point.
"Excuse me! I happen to think it depends on Bear's, mood," Michaela stated crisply.
"Mood, what mood? Horses don't have moods," Sully folded his arms, enjoying watching Michaela's determination at defending her driving abilities.
"He does. Why some days he's more cantankerous, and he'll," Michaela rolled her eyes, and dissolved into an amused sigh. "Are we really talking about a horse?"
"Sorry, that was my fault," Matthew apologized quickly, everyone gradually finishing their lunches.
The table became quiet, Colleen looking towards Brian to start conversation.
"So, Brian, are you and Penny gonna keep in contact?" Colleen smirked, the little boy blushing slightly.
"I dunno." He turned away, embarrassed.
Colleen bit her lower lip, glaring at Matthew, who also struggled to make conversation.
"Dr Mike? When we get home, can you pierce my ears?" she asked eventually, having run out of other options.
Michaela looked up from the last piece of carrot she was about to eat, her reply quick and confident.
"Of course, if that's what you want?" she slipped the food into her mouth, as Sully placed his napkin onto the corner of the small table.
"Yeah, reckon Lew- ah, Becky'll like 'em," she caught herself quickly, again touching the ruby pendant around her neck, as the waiter approached the table.
"Thank-you," Michaela looked up with a smile, as she placed her cutlery together on her plate, the well-groomed, young waiter quickly beginning to pile the plates together.
"Might you like a hot beverage, sir?" he enquired politely.
"Ah, some coffee'd be great, thank-you," Sully cleared his throat, trying to sound as dignified as possible.
"Of course and for your wife?" the young waiter balanced the assortment of plates in his left hand.
Sully turned to Michaela, with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh, nothing, thank-you." Michaela looked away quickly.
"Can I have hot cocoa?" Brian looked up, oblivious to the subtle awkwardness that had just taken place.
"Michaela?" Sully shrugged lightly.
"Yes, you may, Brian," Michaela subtly corrected him. "Thank-you," she turned her gaze back towards the waiter with an affirming nod.
"Thanks, Ma," the little boy smiled genuinely, Colleen and Matthew locking eyes over his head.
The waiter promptly left the table and again, the uncomfortable silence ensured.
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X.O.X
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Colleen waited until she and Matthew were walking back towards their compartment, trailing behind Michaela, Sully and Brian.
"Did you hear that?" she muttered, brushing his arm to gain his attention.
"What?" Matthew shrugged, pausing, so they could fall several steps further behind their family.
"What the waiter said," she tilted her head suggestively.
Matthew merely shook his head.
"Ya know?" Colleen prompted, dropping her voice significantly, "About Dr Mike bein' Sully's 'wife'."
"She didn't even react to it, so what?" Matthew frowned, thinking Colleen was making too much of it.
"Exactly." Colleen stated clearly. "She didn't react. Ordinarily, she woulda taken great delight in correcting someone, but she didn't even react."
"What you gettin' at?" Matthew hesitated with a frown, as they slipped further back from Michaela, Sully and Brian.
"Just that. Think it's bothering her?" Colleen pressed.
"Colleen, I dunno. What does it matter?" Matthew was fed up with the drama.
"Forget it," she waved her right hand to shrug off the conversation.
Matthew waited, before leaning closer towards her. "Look, don't go sayin' nothin' but, Sully and I already talked about this stuff. I said he should ask her to marry him, to make it easier. He said he did." He looked ahead towards Sully and Michael who were several yards ahead of them.
"And she turned him down?" Colleen's eyes widened in shock.
"Guess so, he said it didn't go well," Matthew shrugged.
"Maybe once we get back home, she'll realize it's for the best." Colleen considered, chewing on her lower lip thoughtfully.
Both siblings looked up when Brian's childlike voice was heard.
"What's for the best?" he asked inquisitively.
"Nothin'. Hey, you wanna find out if we can go see the engineer later on?" Matthew bent down to Brian's level.
"Sure." The boy quickly disregarded the overheard utterance and nodded vigorously.
"Well, come on," Matthew patted his back, as Brian turned back up towards the front of the train.
"Have fun." Colleen smiled half-heartedly, as she followed Sully and Michaela back to the compartment, her brothers moving away up the corridor.
Matthew silently rolled his eyes, although encouraged his little brother on ahead.
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X.O.X
~.~
The small compartment was peacefully silent, with the exception of the occasional cough or movement and the monotonous chugging of the train.
Sully remained awake, settled on his back, with his arms rested behind his neck. He stared through the large glass window across from him, watching the almost imperceptible movement of the stars against the night sky.
It was late. He guessed nearly midnight. Everyone had kept to themselves that day; Matthew taking Brian to see the engineer, Colleen beginning to re-read the book Rebecca had given her, reading excerpts to Michaela every so often.
Sully had hovered between the boys, Michaela and Colleen. Brian occasionally enlightened them with some of the fun experiences he'd had with Penelope, Matthew whispering the odd word of concern for his mother to him, when he knew they were alone.
Sully had been unable to ignore the tension that had existed, however. As much as everyone tried to make pleasant conversation and promote a light-hearted atmosphere, they had all known it was a pretense. Michaela had been the quietest one of all, only speaking when it was absolutely necessary, or when she was directly addressed.
Sully glanced away from the starry sky, rotating his neck to the left, until he was able to see her sleeping form on the bench nearby. Her face was illuminated slightly by the moonlight that passed through the window.
It was far from the first time he'd watched her sleep. There had been many times; when she'd been gravely ill with the Grippe two years earlier, when she'd passed out several months ago in the recovery room at the Clinic, when she'd fallen asleep on his shoulder that night on the porch.
A small smile coming to his lips, Sully knew however, which time he remembered the most clearly.
He'd found the cave several hours before dawn on the Monday morning. By that stage, Michaela was barely conscious, blood seeping from her injured feet. She'd fallen asleep in his arms as soon as he'd spotted the sanctuary of the hidden enclosure. They were both saturated.
He'd tried to wake her, but after several groggy utterances, abandoned his efforts and simply settled her down on a smooth rock, whilst he gathered the pine branches and created a more comfortable resting place. Michaela had remained in a deep sleep throughout. Even when he picked her up and carefully placed her back down on the softer surface, she hadn't stirred. Propriety aside, Sully knew allowing her to sleep in damp clothes was foolish, and, when still she wouldn't wake coherently, he reached for the first button of her torn, mustard-colored blouse.
When his fingers moved to the second button, the sickening thought struck him. What if the unwanted advances he'd witnessed the night before by the creek weren't the first? What if, he'd failed her over the past three days? He slowly undid the second button of her blouse, trying to disregard the fear. No. She would have told me. When I first got to her. She would have told me if… His fingers glided over the third button, checking once again that she hadn't woken. She hasn't said anything. Sully reflected.
He moved his hands away from her clothing, to brush his fingers over her injured cheek. Would she have told me? What if? He looked over her exposed flesh to notice the fresh bruise to her right upper arm. I shouldn't. What if she's hurt? What if? He cautiously removed his hand from her arm and touched the third button of her blouse.
I can't do this, what if? I can't see. I don't want to see, to know. He looked back up to her sleeping face; eyes closed out of utter exhaustion.
But I can't leave her in wet clothes. If she gets sick, then, that would be my fault. No. I have to do this, no matter what and, if, if they have, then…
He cleared his throat and finished unbuttoning her blouse. Then we'll just deal with that. He respectfully slid the tattered garment from her shoulders, running his hands over her skin, as he slipped her arms from the blouse. He leaned closer to inspect the various bruises on her upper arms, before moving his gaze down to see the deep bruising and burn marks around her wrists.
Very slowly, and with great reverence, Sully brought his left hand up Michaela's arm to slip the strap of her chemise back onto her shoulder. He knew he probably shouldn't be seeing her like this. He suspected she would have never permitted it. Although, as he reflected whilst rolling her over onto her right side, he'd seen her in her undergarments before. He chuckled silently, her chastising words filling his ears. A small smile came to his lips, as he remembered how uncomfortable she'd been only one year earlier.
He located the small metal clasp on the back of her brown skirt. The material was heavy with water and clung to the equally soaked petticoat underneath. As he gently tried to pull the weighted material away from her waist, he felt her move for the first time.
"Michaela, it's all right. Just me." He stroked her lower arm and gently moved it back across her body onto the green foliage below.
He waited until she had settled back into a heavy sleep, before reaching again for the waistband of her skirt. He managed to slide it, along with the thick petticoat, along her thighs, having to carefully lift her knees so as to remove the garments completely from her lower body.
Sully looked back up to her sleeping face, ensuring he'd not disturbed her, before gathering the three items of clothing together and spreading them out over the nearby rocks to dry.
He sat back down beside her protectively, seeing the dirt and blood which covered her feet and legs for the first time.
There were shallow grazes to her right knee and left shin, as well as dirt marring her ankles and feet in splotches.
Apart from that, she looked unharmed. Sully bit his lower lip, as he moved his eyes from her legs, up to her waist. Her undergarments did not appear torn or damaged. That doesn't necessary mean. He swallowed and looked down to feel the dampness of his shirt against his chest.
No. I have to wait. I just have to wait until I can ask her.
Sully forced himself to stand and leave her side, quickly stripping off his thin shirt, beads and belt.
As he draped the items alongside Michaela's drying clothes, he glanced back at her a second time, noticing the sun begin to rise across the horizon.
He needed to check they hadn't been followed and find some food. Nodding quietly to himself, as he watched the sun rise, planning the tasks he needed to achieve whilst she slept, Sully turned back to see her face, lit slightly against the faint sunlight.
I need to ask her.
Sully wiped his tired eyes, blinking several times, as Michaela's face altered before his very eyes. He now noticed the moonlight, and the absence of any dirt or blood on her face. He reoriented himself quickly; They were still on the train.
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X.O.X
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Still recovering from his troubled memories, Sully continued to watch Michaela sleep, several feet across from him in the small compartment. He was about to turn away when he noticed her brow wrinkle slightly.
He frowned, continuing to study her face. After a moment, she drew her arms back closer against her chest.
Sully hesitated, sensing where this might be heading. Silently, he sat up, as he saw both her mouth and forehead twitch.
"No, please. Please," Michaela, deeply captivated by the images behind her eyelids, murmured, her voice strained and desperate, as she drew her arms tighter against her upper body.
"Michaela," Sully arrived to his knees instantly, crossing over to the bench, and reaching for her shoulder to wake her.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she pleaded, moving sharply away from his hand.
"Michaela, wake up. Michaela," Sully looked around quickly, hoping she wouldn't wake the children. He saw Matthew stir first.
Turning back, he rocked her shoulder firmly, reaching his other hand to her chin, when she still didn't rouse.
"Stop," she whimpered, her eyelids fluttering, as Sully turned around to see Matthew wakening instantly.
"Michaela, ssh," Sully looked back at her, as her eyes opened, glistening with moisture against the moonlight. "Ssh, all right. It's all right, only a dream."
"Sully?" Michaela blinked several times, eventually realizing where she was.
"Ssh," he soothed, watching intently as she struggled to calm her breathing. He kept his hand softly against her left shoulder.
"Ma?" Matthew uttered, moving a lightly sleeping Colleen away and getting to his feet.
"It's all right, Matthew," Sully nodded to the young man, as he arrived across the compartment behind Sully.
"You all right, Ma?" Matthew's eyes were wide with concern and sympathy.
She nodded, her gaze still trancelike, shoulders rising and falling with each heavy breath. She was answering their questions but did not appear aware of their presence.
"Be all right, Matthew. Go back to," Sully whispered, when a small rustling was heard.
"What's all the noise?" Brian announced loudly, sitting straight up and pushed the olive cape from his body.
"Ssh!" Sully placed his finger to his lips, as Matthew sat back down, Colleen jumping at the combination of movement and sound.
"Huh?" the young girl awoke from the light slumber, Matthew sighing, as now everyone was awake.
Sully drew a slow breath, before turning his head back to Michaela, noticing her continued unblinking expression. He leaned in slightly closer, seeing her chin tremble subconsciously.
"Michaela?" He moved his hand to the back of her head, worried as she hadn't uttered a single word.
"Is Ma all right?" Brian crawled across the assortment of clothing and blankets, to pop up under Sully's right arm.
"Go back to sleep, Brian, it's fine," Sully patted the boy's head twice, Brian, however, was not persuaded.
"Ma?" He reached for her left upper arm softly.
Michaela flinched instantaneously at the contact and glared at him, her jaw dropping fearfully.
"Michaela, it's Brian. It's all right," Sully frowned, gently prying the little boy's hand away from his mother's arm.
"Brian, need ya to go back to sleep," Sully repeated, his tone stronger this time.
"But what about Ma?" the child spoke softly, sincerely concerned.
"She's fine. Michaela." Sully looked back at her to notice the tears pooling in her eyes.
"Michaela, come on. Let's go outside," he rubbed her back, as Brian moved away fearfully.
She swallowed and meekly obeyed him, although still not speaking. Sully carefully pulled the heavy blanket from her back and reached for her shoulders as she sat up awkwardly and looked around the darkened space.
"Ma?" Brian repeated, getting to his feet as Sully did likewise.
"Ssh, Brian. Michaela, let's go for a walk for a bit. Come on." He reached for her hand and helped her to her feet, reasoning that sending her back to sleep would probably just result in a repeat of a similarly distressing experience all over again.
Matthew patted Colleen's arm lightly and beckoned Brian back towards them, as Sully led Michaela from the small room.
Once they'd arrived in the corridor, she appeared calmer, the dim light of the lanterns which lined the passageway allowed her to see Sully's face a lot clearer.
"See, everythin's all right. Come on." He touched her hand delicately, as he made his way up the narrow hallway to the bench he'd sat on with Brian only that morning.
Michaela, her composure still sluggish and reserved, sat down slowly. And for the first time that Sully had noticed, she blinked. To her left, he took a seat also.
"Help if ya told me what happened?" Sully felt his jaw tighten; pretty sure he knew exactly what the traumatic nightmare had been about.
He watched as Michaela's eyes dropped closed for several moments. He looked down as she clasped her hands in front of her stomach.
"It was nothing," she dismissed quickly, reaching up her left hand to hastily rub the tears from her eyes.
"No, it weren't. Michaela, you can tell me." He kept his voice hushed, as he leaned slightly closer.
She sighed, looking away, still clearly traumatized by the images that flooded her mind. "It was just a dream. It wasn't real," she told herself, interlocking her fingers together in front of her once again.
"Still troubled ya." He left the statement hanging, hoping she would pick up on it.
"It was just because I'm worried about going home. I know exactly what brought it on. I just overreacted. It's fine," she looked between her clasped hands and Sully's nonjudgmental expression.
"Michaela, everything's going to be all right, you know," he moved his arm around her back to rest his hand on her right shoulder.
"Why do you keep saying that, when you've absolutely no idea. You can't promise that." She moved slightly under the weight of his hand, however did not recoil from the contact.
"Because, no matter what does happen, I know everything will be all right. Ain't sayin' I trust everyone, but I trust Olive and Dorothy, Horace and Myra. Even reckon Loren'll understand," he paused, reflecting on the conversation he'd had with the store owner several weeks ago.
"Sully," she drew a noisy breath, "they didn't understand."
"What do you mean?" He moved closer to her left side.
"In the dream, they," her eyes clouded with fresh tears.
"Michaela, tell me. What do you mean they didn't understand?" His eyes searched desperately to catch her flickering gaze.
"They thought it was my fault. The Reverend, Dorothy," her chin trembled as a solitary tear trickled down her left cheek. "Even Brian."
"Brian? Brian understands, Michaela." His eyes narrowed.
She looked away, her head tilting forwards, as she forced the lump from her throat.
"The Reverend. said it was my fault. That I couldn't have become pregnant if I'd not wanted to, and they believed him. Everyone, the children, everyone," Michaela's shoulders dropped, as she turned her head subtly to see his hand still there.
Sully shook his head, his left hand moving to stroke her arm softly. "Ain't true," he whispered almost inaudibly.
"They said I was a whore and that they didn't want me there." She could see the perfectly clear faces in her mind's eye, as clearly as if the individuals were standing right before her. "They, threw rocks at me. They said awful things. That I was going to burn in hell, for sinning against God. Dorothy said that I deserved to be punished, and that's when the Reverend," she trailed off, gradually regulating her breathing after several moments. "I know it was only a dream, that it's not real." She paused, still feeling the stones hit her chest, her back, her stomach. "But when they all started, and I tried to turn around. I saw Brian and, he said he hated me and I couldn't move, I could just feel. They were hitting me from every direction, and I couldn't stop it, I couldn't," By that stage Sully had managed to wrap both his arms securely around her front and shoulders. He could feel her shoulder pressing painfully into his chest, but he didn't care.
"Michaela, I swear to you, that is never going to happen." He moved his right hand up to cradle the back of her head, as she collapsed her head against his shoulder.
"But it was so real, Sully," she sobbed, feeling the cool tears run along her jaw line.
"I know, nightmares are." He dropped his eyes closed, remembering with painful detail the one he'd had only two days earlier.
"And I kept trying to say I was sorry but, they didn't care and," she caught her breath in a small hiccup, wiping the tears furiously from her cheeks.
"Ssh, listen to me. That is not going to happen. Olive already knows and she's been supportive, and you know good people will be; Grace, Myra. I know you're scared but I ain't gonna let no-one hurt you." He ran his fingertips along a fine strand of loose hair on her shoulder.
"If it's too much, you don't gotta be around people. No-one's sayin' you have to act like everythin's normal. If you needa spend some time away from town, then,"
"I know, I know," she muttered quickly, lifting her head from his shoulder.
"Then stop frettin' 'bout it. Trust me. Trust ya children. We're not gonna let people hurt ya," Sully reassured, as slowly and empathically as he could.
Michaela cringed uncomfortably and glanced away, moving her shoulders backwards in a frustrated attempt to get comfortable.
"I always tried to do the right thing, Sully. Not that people thought everything I did was right but," Michaela sighed, a reflective smile crossing her face as she leaned back against the bench. "Charlotte phrased it suitably, when she said I had enough black marks against my name to last a lifetime. And, I guess she was right. I," she squirmed away from the wall, propping her right hand between her lower back and the padded wooden backing of the bench. "I tried, Sully. Even if people didn't agree with me or support me, I always tried to hold myself to an unwritten," she searched for the right word, struggling to conceal the building discomfort radiating from her lower back, "code. I know my mother, my sisters never approved of my schooling, but that was still an acceptable choice for me to make." She dropped her eyes closed, rolling her shoulders back in pain. "Sorry, I'm not making any sense."
"Ya all right?" Sully had noticed her stilted movements, however thought better than to mention it. From the uncomfortable grimace on her face the last time he'd dared glance at her stomach, Sully assumed she preferred it if he paid her condition as little attention as possible.
"I," she shrugged weakly, pushing herself to her feet and crossing to the other wooden wall to lean against it.
"Ya back sore?" he muttered softly, watching as she tried to dismiss his concern, however found it difficult to muster the energy to conceal her discomfort any longer.
She merely nodded and directed her gaze towards the window in the door to her right.
Sully watched her silently for several moments, as she maintained a determined glare towards the window, alternating her hands from the small of her back every so often.
"Wanna lie down?" He stood and gestured to the large bench they'd been sitting on.
She shook her head deliberately, Sully noticing the force with which she had tightened her jaw. Still, she kept her eyes locked on the passing scenery barely illuminated by the full moon.
"Michaela," he cleared his throat, trying to obtain her attention. With great effort she turned her face towards him. "Ain't no reason ya needa pretend this isn't happening. You said so yaself," he chose his words with deliberate ambiguity, knowing she would require further clarification.
"I don't understand," she frowned.
Sully smiled slightly, taking two steps towards her. "You don't have to do this on your own. Why didn't ya tell me ya back's been botherin' ya?" he leaned sideways against the wall, less than a foot from her. Strategically, Sully had managed to block her view of the window.
She dropped her head, her eyes downcast towards her protruding stomach. "I am perfectly capable of looking after myself." She swallowed, loathing even indirect reference to the pregnancy.
"Ain't sayin' ya aren't, but I wanna help," he kept his voice soft, as he followed her gaze, sliding another step closer towards her right side.
"Sully, I don't expect," Michaela replied coolly, pausing mid-sentence when she felt his hand touch her right shoulder.
"I know." He slipped his hand from her shoulder, down her back, until his fingers brushed over her left hand, his thumb and index finger falling either side of her lower spine. She moved her left arm around from her back, bringing it around between her stomach and chest.
"I want to," he whispered delicately, as he touched her left arm with his right hand, using it to balance her weight as he began a soothing massage of her lower back.
Sully heard the trapped air leave her lungs the moment he'd circled her spine the first time.
"Michaela, when I said 'I love you', I meant it. You ain't gotta go through this on ya own." He stood in front of her, gently moving his right hand up her left arm, until she was between both his arms with her head rested on his shoulder.
She didn't reply, merely inhaled deeply, and adjusted her chin more comfortably against his shoulder.
"Better?" he inquired in a low tone, as he slipped his right hand around her waist to massage her lower back more broadly.
Sully smiled as the reply came in the form of an exhausted groan and her upper body pressed more heavily against his chest.
Sully felt her head heavy against his shoulder, as he moved his fingers firmly along the edges of her spine, feeling the bunched muscles under his fingertips.
"Shoulda told me. Thought you were just wantin' to get away from the children every few hours," Sully moved his hands several inches lower down her back, realizing he'd located a tender spot when she pulled back from his chest. "Sorry," he whispered, his lips brushing past several wisps of her hair.
"It wasn't this bad until yesterday, and it's not as though you knowing makes a difference," Michaela lifted her head from his shoulder, momentarily losing her footing as the carriage rocked sharply. "I hate this," she spoke softly, looking down as his hands gripped against her arms securely. She was tired of all the traveling, tired of having to move awkwardly against the unpredictable jolting of the train.
He nodded slowly, running his fingers along the insides of her forearms soothingly. "Michaela, ya know I would have given anything to have prevented this, and ya know ya only have to ask and I'll help in any way I can." He grasped her upper arms softly, moving his right hand around her left shoulder.
"Don't, Sully," Michaela saw the immediate frown cross his face, as he gingerly lifted his hand, confused. She shook her head, moving her left shoulder closer between his arms. "No, I, just wish you wouldn't say that. I don't want you feeling as though you are forever trying to apologize."
Sully nodded and gradually slipped his hand back to her arm. "I can't help it, I feel I failed you, that I let ya down when ya needed me," he sighed, the breathy sound filling the silent surroundings.
Michaela reacted instantly to his sigh, the distressed tone of her voice startling him. "But I can't bear it, Sully! Every time you look at me, I see it. Every time you say that you wish things had been different, I can hear that regret and, I'm sorry too! I'm sorry!" She pulled her arms tightly up under her chest, turning away from him, so that only her left shoulder brushed against the middle of his chest.
"Michaela, don't say that." He dropped his voice and reached his right arm further around her back. Again, she snapped back around to address him.
"There!" She looked sharply up at him. "Now you see? All it does is remind us. It's pointless, Sully. It doesn't matter how sorry we are, how much regret we feel. It will never change anything."
"I, I'm." He changed his mind from the sympathetic word, "You're right."
"We both carry our own guilt, Sully," she kept her voice low and evenly-paced, her eyes dropping to his chest, lifeless and heavy.
He reached his left hand up to clasp over his right, having encircled her shoulders with his arms. "Maybe ya said it best, when ya said ya couldn't pretend this weren't happenin' any longer. Maybe that's why we're trippin' over ourselves."
"I think so. There has to be a point where I accept this. Where we both do."
"I know. I just," he felt her fingers against his lips immediately.
"No. Nothing else, Sully," she removed her hand from his face, resting it hesitantly against his chest.
"Nothin' else," he smiled, as he gently reached for her hand, tilting his head forwards and kissing the back of her hand softly.
They locked eyes in silence for several moments, as Sully maintained his grasp on her hand.
Michaela felt a wave of exhaustion fall over her, trying as elegantly as she could to conceal the large yawn that crossed her face.
"Come on," Sully shook his head, reaching his left hand back around her shoulders and leading her back up the corridor.
"Sully," she whispered, reaching her right hand to his waist.
He glanced back towards her.
"Thank-you." Michaela finished shyly, as they arrived outside their compartment, the sliding door still closed.
"Never have to thank me." He moved his left hand up to her shoulder, kissing her right temple precisely. "Wake me if ya need me," he quietly slid the glass door open, Michaela stepping into the room to notice the three children all fast asleep.
"Look," she gestured towards Brian on the floor by Matthew's feet, curled into a small bundle, her thick, olive cape squashed snuggly around his little body.
Sully looked up from the little boy, to Matthew and Colleen, also both asleep. Colleen had her cheek nestled comfortably against her brother's ribcage, the older boy rested his head atop of hers. His arms were wrapped protectively around his sister's shoulders.
"They're beautiful. They love you, Michaela," Sully kept his voice hushed.
"I need them, Sully. We're a family," she murmured.
"We are," he leant forwards to tuck a strand of hair back behind her ear, pausing his hand on her neck for several seconds.
She smiled weakly, her eyes tired. "Goodnight," Michaela crossed the small room, sitting down on the side of the bench and reaching for the blanket beside her.
"Here," Sully knelt down quickly in front of her, taking the blanket from her as she settled awkwardly onto her left side. "Anythin', and ya wake me," he draped the gray blanket up over her shoulders, running his hand down the back of her head.
"I will," Michaela spoke softly, adjusting her head until she was comfortable and letting her eyes drop closed.
Sully remained knelt by her side for several minutes, until the corners of her mouth relaxed, and he knew she was asleep.
He silently crouched to the floor, leaning up against the wall under the window. He felt strangely refreshed, absent-mindedly drawing his right hand to the back of his neck, still aware of the coolness of his skin without his long hair.
It was a fresh start.
It was worth it one thousand times over.