Matthew and Ingrid slowly sipped on their glasses of apple cider, each eyeing the other nervously, neither knowing quite how to begin the conversation. Simple words of affection and relief had been shared quickly as they took their seats, however after ordering, the conversation had ceased.
Seeing Matthew lock and then unlock his hands together on the table, Ingrid studied his awkward, shifting gaze. She knew he was trying to hold it together. For her.
"Matthew, why you not tell me why you leave?" Ingrid kept her tone neutral.
Matthew looked directly at her, at the sound of her light, nervous voice. He reached across the table to clasp her hand, not knowing quite where to start.
"I'm sorry; shouldn't a left without tellin' ya. Was just that we had to leave in such a hurry and didn't wanna make it too obvious. Didn't want no-one askin' questions." Matthew sighed, grateful that Ingrid had broken the ice.
"Matthew, Miss Dorothy tell me about the baby. That be why Dr Mike leave?" she studied his face, her expression remaining soft.
"Yeah, somethin' like that. Ingrid, sorry, I still ain't findin' this easy to talk about. So much happened while we were away," he paused, his mind going back over the poignant conversation he'd had with Michaela at Rebecca's. Matthew swallowed, remembering his mother's final question.
"I know." Ingrid noticed his discomfort, "Matthew you not have to talk about this, we can talk about other things."
Matthew smiled, looking back at her, gently squeezing her hand. Somehow, despite her young age, and the language barrier, Ingrid always had a way of knowing what he needed. How he was feeling.
"Ingrid, there is something I need to talk with you about," he began, having had many long hours on the train and stage back from Boston the previous week in which to ponder their future.
Ingrid leaned forwards, looking down at their interlocked hands. "What it be, Matthew?"
"It's, it's about Dr Mike, about everything that's happened. I know I said I'd have the homestead finished by Christmas, and we'd be married, but I," Matthew stumbled, hating to go back on his word, to the woman he cared so much about.
"You not want to be married? Matthew, I not understand," Ingrid's voice ascended in pitch, her eyes widening in worry.
"No, no, Ingrid. I still want to get married, I love you, just at the moment, well, Dr Mike ain't gonna have the baby 'til next year, and I'm worried 'bout her. Don't wanna leave Colleen and Brian there on their own. Wanna be able to help out. Feel like I needa be there, that we needa be together as a family a bit longer. Till everything settles down, some more," Matthew stroked the back of Ingrid's right hand, feeling how soft her skin was.
"I understand, Matthew," she whispered, seeing him exhale in relief.
"You sure?" he pressed.
Ingrid nodded tentatively, "I be sure. You need be with family until everything back to normal. And maybe I help too? I can work on weekends, help with laundry?" she offered keenly.
Matthew smiled, always amazed at how unselfish Ingrid was. "That'd be great. Only if you got time, know how busy you are with your brother and sisters."
"It be fine," she smiled, slipping her hand from his grasp as Grace placed their lunches in front of them on the table.
"Thanks, Grace," Matthew smiled, glimpsing the steaming roast beef on his plate.
"Ain't no bother," Grace murmured, placing her hand on Matthew's right shoulder for a moment. "Matthew, come past when you're leavin' for the day, I was gonna prepare a basket for ya ma, all right?" she rubbed his upper arm, waiting for a reply.
"Oh, thanks, that'd be great," he nodded, hungrily grasping his knife and fork as she returned to the stove.
"I missed this place, ya know," Matthew began slicing the succulent, gravy-soaked piece of beef.
"You did?" Ingrid daintily placed her napkin in her lap, looking up at him a little confused.
"Yeah, in Boston we stayed with Aunt Rebecca and they have servants, so you didn't have to do anythin', but weren't like bein' here. They did everything for ya, coz it was their job, but the people here do things to help ya, because they're friends," Matthew reflected, before commencing to eat.
"Dr Mike come back because of the friends here?" Ingrid slowly slipped a small piece of roast beef into her mouth.
Matthew frowned, considering Ingrid's question. "You know, I think so. I think that's what finally convinced her. At first, I thought Sully just wanted her back, so he could take care a her, but then, realized it really was the right thing," Matthew replied, both returning their attention to their lunches.
~.~
X.O.X
~.~
"Always knew years of struggling to feed five people on the money Marcus gave me would come in handy; doesn't take me too long to put together a meal at short notice." Dorothy proudly set their lunches on the table, taking a seat and sipping on a glass of water.
"I don't know how you do it, honestly. I have enough trouble succeeding with a recipe when I've planned the dish out days in advance." Michaela congratulated, reaching for the spoon on the table.
"Oh, Michaela, well don't you worry. The two a us got plenty a time to work on that. I'll have you cookin' better than Colleen in no time." Dorothy teased, slowly sipping on the hot vegetable soup in front of her.
"There speaks someone who's never sampled my cooking." Michaela took a hesitant taste, "but you'll certainly need to teach me this one, it's delicious," she savored.
"Michaela, that was just the vegetables in the garden, few spices," she smiled weakly, "So, what else needs doing?" Dorothy looked around the small cabin, in between mouthfuls of soup.
"I really don't think there's anything left. Funny, I always wished for more time to help Colleen with the chores, now that I have it, it doesn't seem all that appealing," Michaela muttered glumly.
"Well, Matthew takes care of the animals, doesn't he?" Dorothy inquired, Michaela nodded quickly, "Well then, I'll do a couple a chores whilst you have a nap. The washing oughta be dry by then, just enough time to get it folded and put away before the children get home from school," Dorothy planned eagerly.
"Dorothy, I don't need a nap. I'm fine. I've done nothing but sleep for the last five days anyway," Michaela objected, realizing that her days were going to be very empty without work.
"Uh-uh, we made a deal, remember? 'Sides, you're hardly up to milking that cow, now are you," Dorothy raised an eyebrow, noticing that Michaela seemed to be far away in her thoughts. "Michaela?"
"Oh, sorry," Michaela diverted her attention back to the lunch before her, finishing the soup slowly.
"Now you just eat that, have a rest, and then we'll finish up the rest of the washing," Dorothy instructed.
Michaela looked resignedly back to her plate; she loathed being taken care of.
~.~
X.O.X
~.~
Colleen and Becky sat, perched on the long, fallen trunk of an oak tree. Becky finished her sandwich, whilst Colleen's lunch sat, untouched in her lap.
"Hey, Colleen, I don't think it's Dr Mike's fault. I don't care what nobody else says," Becky spoke softly, reaching for her friend's arm.
"Huh? Well, why would you?" Colleen came out of her daydream and turned to her friend.
"Just what people been sayin'. I dunno, just coz they don't know any better. My ma and pa were talkin' last night. I tried to explain what we learnt in science with Miss Chambers but Ma says that's rubbish, that it's God who decides when you get to have a baby."
Colleen sighed noisily, her chin in her hands. She was eager to change the subject, however, even more frustrated by Becky's mother's ignorance, "That ain't true, Becky, that's just what people say when they don't get a baby, like Miss Grace. Ain't got nothin' to do with God. More like Satan," she finished under her breath. Frustrated and sick of her friend's conversation, Colleen rose to her feet.
"Hey, wait. What'd I say? I said I didn't believe what my Ma," Becky reached for Colleen's wrist.
"I don't care, Becky." Colleen stopped and drew a breath, "Look, don't care what your ma said or didn't say. Don't care what you think! Don't care what this whole town thinks!" Colleen bellowed to the group of boys sniggering and pointing in her direction.
"Colleen, I'm sorry," Becky whispered, seeing Colleen's face redden.
"It's okay. Just been a hard couple a weeks. What with goin' away, gettin' back, everyone findin' out." Colleen bent down to pick up the sandwich that had fallen from her lap.
"I know. At least Brian and Steven made up. Thought he was gonna spend the whole a lunch with us," Becky smiled, trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah, although Steven's a little pest. Don't blame Brian for gettin' sick a him," Colleen grumbled.
Becky and Colleen began walking slowly from the back of the schoolhouse, down the side, neither really knowing where they were heading.
"Colleen, is Dr Mike really gonna have a baby? All on her own?" Becky chewed awkwardly on her lower lip.
Colleen huffed, incensed by her friend's narrow-mindedness. "No, Becky, of course she's not. Single women can't have babies. For heaven's sake you're as bad as my nine-year-old cousin! I mean, what on earth were you thinking?" Colleen gaped, bewildered.
"I," Becky looked away, embarrassed, "I guess I was thinkin'. Dr Mike and Sully were courtin', just figured they'd get married. Save all the gossip," Becky suggested simply, never having seen Colleen in such a state.
"Have you ever considered for one moment, that maybe Dr Mike's got other things to worry about right now, than the gossip? She nearly died in Boston, you really got no idea. None of us care one bit about what looks good. Dr Mike ain't nowhere near ready to marry Sully, ain't you even thought that through?" Colleen folded her arms tightly, feeling bloated, sore and enraged, wanting nothing more than a warm cloth and her bed.
"Okay, I'm sorry." Becky tried to reach for Colleen's hands, the older girl storming away too quickly. "Colleen, said I was sorry, where ya goin'?" Becky watched as Colleen focused her attention on the brawl that seemed to be taking place in the middle of the schoolyard.
"Brian!" she recognized her brother immediately, just as he pushed Steven to the ground.
Running over, Colleen saw that the fight consisted of more than just Brian and Steven.
"Come to defend ya little brother, Colleen?" Cal sized her up, his hands on his hips.
"Brian Cooper!" she did her best to ignore the provocation, gasping as Steven pulled himself to his feet, delivering a decent blow to Brian's chest.
"My Ma says that havin' a baby when you ain't married's a sin, and my pa says it only happens to bad women," Steven grabbed Brian's upper arms, the two boys continuing their wrestling.
"Ain't true, your folks don't know nothin'! Ain't my fault if you got really dumb parents, who don't know nothin' about medical stuff." Brian pushed against Steven, squeezing his fingers tight around the other boy's shoulders.
"You can't call my ma and pa dumb! Now you're gonna really get it!" Steven bellowed, adjusting his feet, to get leverage over Brian.
"But they are! Just coz my Ma's the smartest lady in town, ain't my fault. You shoulda asked God to give ya smarter parents!" Brian retorted.
"Oh yeah, so if you're Ma's so smart, how come she got a baby without gettin' a husband first!" Cal jeered, several of the older boys had run over by this stage, to witness the brawl.
"Coz she got hurt, now let go, Steven, or I'll get you good," Brian narrowed his eyes, determined to defend his mother's reputation no matter how many bruises it cost him.
"Nah, Cal's right, Cooper, your ma's just a whore!" Benjamin spat, knowing it wasn't true, but enjoying the effect it was having on the younger children.
"Stop it, stop it!" Brian pushed Steven away, turning, with the full intention of taking on the rest of the class, if need be.
"Brian! What you doin'?" Colleen arrived, out of breath, between Brian and the older boys.
"They're sayin' bad stuff, Colleen. Can't you tell 'em? Tell 'em it weren't Ma's fault, Colleen! Please," Brian looked up at her, his face bright red and beads of perspiration forming on his brow.
"They're just bein' dumb, Brian. Don't know any better," Colleen glared at the offending boys, wrapping her arm around Brian's shoulder.
"That's right, Cooper, get the girl to defend ya. Brian's just a little baby," Cal laughed, several of the younger boys catching on quickly.
"Brian's a baby, Brian's a baby!" they teased.
Brian looked between Colleen and Benjamin, eyebrows narrowed, and lips pouted in fury.
"I wish you weren't all so stupid!" he yelled, pushing past Steven and breaking out into a run.
Colleen watched, mouth open, as Brian headed towards the bridge.
"Aww, Colleen, he can't even stay to defend himself, leaving the girl to do all the work? Then again, that's kinda common in your family, ain't it?" Benjamin couldn't keep a straight face, as several of the older boys caught onto his joke.
"You tell her, Ben. Hey, Colleen. We always knew Dr Mike was clever, didn't know she could perform miracles," Cal shrugged, his wisecrack having the enraging effect on Colleen he'd hoped for.
"I agree with Brian," she folded her arms tightly, "You really are all as stupid as you look," she fumed, taking a step forward, as Benjamin grabbed her shoulders.
"Hey, Colleen, was only teasin'," he tried to soften the blow.
"Let go a me," she glared, squirming from his grasp and moving into a run in pursuit of Brian.
"You guys really done it this time," Becky sighed, as the small gathering watched Brian and Colleen run from the schoolyard, across the meadow, and over the bridge.
"We were only jokin', Becky. Those two take everythin' too serious," Benjamin defended the group's behavior.
"If that were jokin', I'd hate to see what you were like if you were really tryin' to hurt someone's feelin's," she chastised, striding quickly to the schoolhouse, to inform the Reverend of the events.
~.~
X.O.X
~.~
"How was it, while we were away? Everything all right?" Matthew placed his cutlery together in the centre of his plate, looking towards Ingrid.
"Oh, everything fine." She lowered her head, "Except I worry for you. People talk. Miss Dorothy tell about Dr Mike and Myra and I worry," Ingrid recollected, delicately wiping her hands in the nearby napkin.
Matthew sighed, looking away. As he absent-mindedly gazed across at the nearby tables, he noticed several heads turn.
"Ingrid, let's go shall we?" he muttered, pushing his chair back.
"Why?" she tilted her head, confused.
"Too crowded," he clarified, dropping the money for lunch on the table, and silently escorting Ingrid from Grace's.
"Matthew, where we go now?" she slipped her left hand around his elbow.
"Sorry." He stopped walking, still in the small alley between the Clinic and Grace's. "Just felt like everyone were starin' at me."
"People only concern, Matthew," Ingrid responded softly, not expecting the gruff reply she received.
"Well, wish they'd mind their own damn business!" he caught himself quickly, "Sorry, Ingrid." Matthew drew a deep breath, "It's just been a very hectic few weeks. And, ain't really gonna get much easier."
"Matthew, is not Brian?" Ingrid changed the subject, gesturing to the young boy sprinting down the main street towards them.
Matthew frowned, stepping forward to block his brother's past. "Hey, where you goin'?"
Brian struggled to free himself from his brother's grasp, "Goin' home," the little boy stated unequivocally.
"Oh, says who? Last time I checked, school weren't over till three," Matthew pulled Brian back by the scruff on his jacket.
"Says me. Sick a what they're all sayin'. If Ma doesn't have to go to work, then don't see why I have ta go ta school," Brian caught his breath, Colleen slowing down and arriving behind him.
"Brian! Why didn't ya stop when I was callin' ya!" she demanded, barely even noticing Matthew or Ingrid.
"Goin' home, Colleen," Brian turned, attempting to escape from Matthew's grasp.
"Whoa, hold it both a you. Colleen, what's this all about?" Matthew placed his free hand gently on his sister's shoulder.
"Kids at school, Matthew," Colleen grumbled, shrugging off his contact, and folding her arms tightly.
"What happen to upset you?" Ingrid spoke up.
Colleen looked suspiciously between Ingrid and her older brother, "Kids were teasin' us. Same as usual."
"About Ma?" Matthew clarified with a disappointed sigh.
Colleen simply nodded.
Brian eagerly expanded on her nod, "Steven were sayin' that his folks reckon Ma," Matthew cut him off instantly.
"Brian, I don't wanna hear what they said." Matthew crouched down to his younger brother's level. "Now ya hear me, ya just have to ignore 'em. They'll stop after a bit, once they see you ain't bothered by it," Matthew patted Brian's shoulder for encouragement.
"But I don't want them sayin' bad stuff. Makes Ma sound really bad, when it weren't her fault. Sully told me. So why can't I just ask Sully to explain it to them? Then they won't keep sayin' bad stuff," Brian looked up at Colleen, hoping she would side with him.
"Because, Brian. There are some things that are just between people in a family, ya understand? Some things are private, and they gotta stay that way," Matthew knew he was making things harder for the young boy, but that in time, his classmates would forget about it and find something else to focus on.
"Guess, seems stupid though," the little boy grumbled. "All right if I go home?"
Matthew looked down the main street towards the schoolhouse and then back to his brother's pleading face. "I reckon that's just givin' in to 'em, little brother. Ya gotta show 'em that you don't care what they said, coz it ain't true. It's a game, see, they wanna think they've upset you, so you runnin' off, goin' home just makes 'em think they succeeded. But if you march back there, and ignore 'em, well, that's a much more grown-up thing to do." Matthew stood up and gently turned Brian around to face in the opposite direction.
"You sure?" He chewed nervously on his lower lip.
"Trust me. Off ya go." Matthew tapped his back, Brian dragging his feet for a few steps, then moving into a more determined pace.
"Hey, where you goin'?" Matthew frowned, as Colleen continued in her original direction, past him and Ingrid towards the livery.
"Where I was goin' to start with; home," she stated, in no mood for an interrogation.
"What, don't tell me they bothered you that much?" Matthew took Ingrid's hand, the pair following after Colleen.
"No; really ain't feelin' well," Colleen lowered her head, Matthew sensing when he needed to back off.
"You be all right on Flash?" Matthew asked.
"Gotta be, don't I?" Colleen shrugged, moving into a brisk pace, just wanting to get home.
"Seeya tonight, Colleen," Matthew replied, he and Ingrid walking back towards the main street, leaving Colleen to collect the horse from Robert E.'s
~.~
X.O.X
~.~
Michaela tightened the shawl around her shoulders, she and Dorothy standing out on the porch, gazing into the afternoon sun.
"Is there anything else that needs doin'?" Dorothy glanced over, feeling much calmer than she had at the start of the day.
"I don't think so. Thank-you Dorothy," Michaela smiled briefly, thinking forwards to the evening ahead, "So is this what it's like – being a housewife?"
Dorothy chuckled, reflecting on the washing, cleaning and cooking they'd done that day, "I suppose," she trailed off, not sure of Michaela's reaction. "Is that good or not?"
"It's so boring. Before Colleen and I did most of the work together, but she had school and I had work, so it didn't leave a lot of time for extravagances," Michaela replied thoughtfully.
"Well, you've still got work. At least for a few months. Don't you miss it?" Dorothy continued, intrigued as to how far she'd be able to take the conversation.
"I can just imagine the gossip," Michaela looked over as Dorothy interjected sharply.
"It's never bothered you before," Dorothy continued quickly. "What I mean is, the only way things will get back to normal is if you take the first step." Dorothy paused, "Michaela, we had this same conversation months ago, didn't we?" she reached over to touch her friend's arm, "and it was never as dreadful as you feared, was it?"
Michaela tried to remember her first days back at work following her abduction. "It felt like a mountain I had no chance of climbing, but now it seems so insignificant. Dorothy, have you heard anything? What are people saying?" she glanced down at Dorothy's hand on her right arm.
Dorothy considered the question for a moment. "Michaela, it hasn't been that long. The people who knew before you arrived home feel as I do – Loren, Horace, Myra, the Reverend, no-one blames you. Everyone just appreciates the unfairness of it all. Any judgment is only coming from people who don't understand the facts. The same people who stuck their noses in months ago. But you've enough people on your side. What do Sully and the children say?"
Michaela shook her head at the mention of Sully, "I think it was enough of a victory to just get me back here."
"Are you sure there ain't anythin' I can do to help?" Dorothy glanced downwards, inadvertently noticing the tightness of Michaela's blouse around her chest.
"Dorothy, you've been," Michaela looked down as Dorothy unexpectedly grasped her arm.
"Heavens, clothes, Michaela," Dorothy concluded. "You can't keep wearin' the same clothes for the next four months," Dorothy smiled softly.
"No, well." Michaela looked away awkwardly.
"Come back inside, let me take a look. I'm used to this; used to help lots a the ladies out who couldn't sew," Dorothy gestured towards the front door, Michaela reluctantly followed.
"Is this really necessary? I've already been through this with my sister, and it was not something I relished," Michaela frowned unconsciously.
"Now, just a few items, couple of blouses and skirts, enough to get you through." Dorothy moved quickly around to Michaela's dressing area.
Michaela watched as Dorothy carefully started looking through the array of items.
"Did you have a preference? Won't touch the fancy stuff of course," Dorothy brought out several items and laid them on the bed.
"Well, I suppose that one is practical," she gestured to the green blouse and slightly darker green skirt.
"All right," Dorothy moved the items to one side, and reached for the next item in the pile. "See, there's at least another two inches here if I let the sides out, should get you through the next few months," Dorothy gestured to the pinstripe blouse.
Michaela stayed perched on the edge of the bed, watching Dorothy start to unpick the side of the garment.
"Thank-you Dorothy. This is awkward enough." Michaela looked down at her hands in her lap.
Dorothy laid the blouse on the bed and reached for the tartan skirt.
"Ah, now see, this one, won't be hard to unpick the pleats, extend the waistband at the back. Might just have a different panel at the back with a new clasp, but they'll make it easier to fix once you're back," Dorothy stopped abruptly, concerning too much on her needlework to hear the words coming out of her mouth.
"To normal?" Michaela raised an eyebrow with an understanding nod. "It's all right. Truth be told, I'm never going to be back to normal, am I?" Michaela found herself reflecting on conversations with Sully during the trip home.
"Life's always changin', and pregnancy is uncomfortable enough at the best of times. At least ya ain't gotta go through a summer."
Michaela watched silently as Dorothy continued unpicking the garments.
She was aware of strangely uncomfortable feeling she'd had witnessing her first autopsy; you know it needed to be done, but it still felt wrong watching it.
"Well, I reckon these skirts and blouses oughta be fine to get you through. Oh, and that reminds me, gotta see how your aprons are going too, probably just need an extra button or two. Easy fix." Dorothy reached forward to pat Michaela's arm supportively.
"I can't thank you enough." Michaela stood from the side of the bed, taking several steps towards the window.
Dorothy reached across for her wrist and met her eyes sternly. "Oh yes you can; you can get yourself back out there and take your place in this town again. Can't promise it'll be easy. But the Michaela I knew never backed down from a challenge," Dorothy considered.
Michaela looked down with a smile. "I suppose you could say that."
~.~
X.O.X
~.~
"I could not tell you," Cloud Dancing spoke softly.
Sully looked up slowly from the spitting fire, "You knew?" his eyes narrowed.
The older man nodded; although it was a nod that conveyed a great deal.
"I could have helped her. Saved so much damage. Why didn't you tell me?" Sully frowned.
"I couldn't interfere. I cannot use my power to change things. I can provide guidance, as I tried to do," Cloud Dancing glanced over at the wolf by Sully's side. "How is Dr Mike?"
"How do you think?" Sully retorted, unable to see past the risks that had been needlessly taken in Boston.
"This was meant to be," he muttered wistfully.
"Don't give me that. I don't believe in a fate this cruel. Ain't nothin' worth the pain Michaela's goin' through. She coulda died in Boston. Nearly did from all accounts. Ain't she been through enough?"
"I am sorry." Cloud Dancing shook his head in regret, "I did not mean to minimize such pain, only to emphasize that it will not be in vain."
"Hard enough for her to rebuild her life after this happened, and now it's all but impossible. She'll never be able to move on."
"Things will not be the same, that is true. But all of life is change. To allow us to grow; to face new challenges." Cloud Dancing muttered, "When Snow Bird told me a week ago, it was a shock. After losing our son, I did not know if I was ready."
"At least you both went into it willingly." Sully spoke quietly, finding it difficult to accept his brother's optimism.
"I am sorry, Sully. I am sorry for the pain it has caused," Cloud Dancing acknowledged.
"Hasn't even started yet. It was all I could do to convince Michaela that having this child was the right thing. Well, I knew killing it was the wrong thing, and that only left one alternative. It's up to her where she goes from here. I'd never expect her to keep it, not in a town like this. Not with her family."
"At least now there is time. I could find the child a family among us, but that would probably not be what Dr Mike wants," Cloud Dancing sighed, slowly reaching forward to stroke Wolf's head.
"It's too soon. I don't think Michaela has had time to connect. To realize it's her child as much as it's not. Any decision she makes I'll support," Sully affirmed.
"I think it will work out well," Cloud Dancing muttered under his breath.
Sully narrowed his eyes, initially frustrated by the older man's vague remarks, however pausing to remember that Cloud Dancing was under no obligation to share any of his wisdom. "I think the children will help."
Both men sat in silence for several minutes, Cloud Dancing eventually speaking, "And you have undergone much change, too?" His expression was mixed.
Sully tilted his head lightly, quickly nodding in confirmation, "I had to get her home," he considered, "didn't know who we'd be runnin' into, and it was a hurdle I couldn't justify." Sully frowned, knowing there was another reason, perhaps only touched on by Jake. "Not anymore."
"You did what you had to," Cloud Dancing replied softly, "in a white man's world."
"Ain't about that. Well, maybe it is. I don't care who's world it is at the moment. We're all trying to help Michaela through the darkness she's in. And I can't say I blame her. Months ago, that moment I found out she'd been hurt, I didn't know how we were all going to make it through. But, in all honesty, people were more supportive than I'd given 'em credit for and there was hope. All of which lasted two or three months. Now I'm just left with the regret that I didn't see it. Even if I'd suspected it, Michaela wouldn't a talked 'bout it. She probably needed to go through this, to come to the decision for herself. She deserved that at least; to have a choice." Sully looked up, able to feel the separation between their two cultures.
"Cloud Dancin', it is hard living in the two worlds; especially now. You know the depths of my commitment to you and the Cheyenne people, but Michaela has to come first." Sully dropped his eyes, not knowing how to best phrase his thoughts, "She's terrified. Of what this child represents, what it will be."
"I am hopeful that it will be her," Cloud Dancing clarified his words slightly, "of the mixed children I've seen, the mother's features are always more prominent," Cloud Dancing watched as Sully thought about his words.
"Yeah, but the mother is usually Indian. And ain't mixed blooded children too well accepted in either of our cultures."
"That is true," Cloud Dancing sighed, "Snow Bird asks about Dr Mike. She misses her."
"I know. Gonna take a while though." Sully looked down, awkwardly, "Cloud Dancin', I ain't told her about Snow Bird. As it is she can barely cope. She feels cheated enough."
"I understand," Cloud Dancing nodded. "Sully, if we can help in any way, to make this right," the older man muttered softly.
"I know. Think it'll just take some time. Michaela hadn't even dealt with the attack, and then she was faced with this child. She needs to process one before the other, hopefully within the next couple of months, which is a lot to ask. But I will let you know if there is any way you can help," he reached forward to slowly grasp Cloud Dancing's forearm.
"And what about you? You have talked of Dr Mike's feelings, but not of your own," Cloud Dancing observed, as he returned the gesture of friendship.
Idly tossing another branch into the fire, Sully considered his answer, "Felt a lot a anger. I exposed Michaela to all this, and I couldn't protect her. Can't expect the whites to understand the difference between dog soldiers and Cheyenne. So, I feel angry that what he has done has cast such a dark light on you all. We were just buildin' the town's trust, and now, it's worse than before. And it's the little things been tough – having to explain to Brian that this baby will be part Indian. Expecting a ten year-old to understand that the person who nearly killed his mother, is also the father of that baby. And that it doesn't make all Indians bad. Michaela and Colleen are struggling with it, no wonder Brian is."
Cloud Dancing remained silent, before eventually speaking, "Sully, what if I spoke with the children? I understand if Dr Mike is not yet ready, but, perhaps it would calm their fears?"
Sully looked up from the fire, "You think it will help?"
"It is the only thing that will. Creating further divide between our two cultures is going to make it more difficult for everyone."