Author's Note: First post of 2021! Hope you are all doing well and still here to follow this with me!
UPDATED 2/5/21: The Hyrulean Soldier featured in this battle is largely based off of their appearance in "Hyrule Warriors" with elements of the other games sprinkled in.
The Imperial Legion's appearance is inspired by as they appeared in "Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim."
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(A man wearing a blue and white tunic over a mail hauberk with plate armor and a sallet swings a broadsword at the screen.)
Hyrulean Soldier: The loyal soldiers who defend the Kingdom of Hyrule from all threats...
(A Hyrulean Soldier runs a Moblin through with a strike from his Hylian spear.)
vs.
(A man in Roman-inspired body armor and a helmet raises a large shield before swinging a sword at the screen.)
Imperial Legion: The top fighting force of Cyrodiil, who led their country to create the largest empire in Tamriel's history.
(A Legionnaire is shown running a Stormcloak rebel through with a strike from his sword.)
WHO IS DEADLIEST?!
To find out, we've assembled a team of world-class fighters to test history's most lethal weapons. Using 21st-century science, we'll see what happens when two warriors go toe to toe.
No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is...THE FICTIONAL DEADLIEST WARRIOR!
Here in our elite fight club, we have gathered doctors, scientists and weapons experts to test out the lethal arsenals wielded by each of our combatants to determine who would win in a fight between two warriors who never met in a face to face duel:
Hyrulean Soldier
Appearing from: Legend of Zelda expanded universe
Homeland: Hyrule
Height: 5' 8"
Weight: 165 lbs.
Armor: Mail & Plate, Sallet, Heater Shield
Imperial Legion
Appearing from: Elder Scrolls
Homeland: Cyrodiil
Height: 5' 11'
Weight: 180 lbs.
Armor: Imperial Armor, Imperial Helmet, Imperial Shield
"Today is a battle between two front line warriors, a fierce defender versus a fierce conqueror. We have the Hyrulean Soldier, who fought to defend the Kingdom of Hyrule with his life, and in the other corner we have the Imperial Legion of the Septim Empire, who fought to secure control over other regions," biomedical scientist Bradley Foster started.
"These are two warriors who are expertly trained and highly disciplined, in addition to being used to fighting in heavy armor. They are proficient in close quarters combat and are deeply indoctrinated in their respective causes," trauma doctor Joseph Kaiser followed.
"The armor and weapons used by both of these warriors is very similar to those used by medieval knights and Roman forces in the real world, so it should definitely be interesting to see how they are applied in today's battle," computer expert Eddie Cortez added.
"Then it's time to find out," Bradley concluded.
The camera cuts to a young man with long blond hair and pointed ears, clad in a blue and white tunic and worn over plate armor. He pulls out a broadsword and swings it at the screen.
Up first to represent the Hyrulean Soldier will be Ren.
A recently promoted knight, Ren has fought on the front lines in defense of Hyrule, knowing exactly what kind of threats the Soldier faces on a daily basis.
"Hyrule is a land constantly under siege. Whether it is tribes of raiders or monstrous beasts, we never know what threat we will be facing and must be ready to fight at all times," Ren explained.
The camera then cuts to a slightly older man with long red hair and a patch over his right eye, a long jagged scar crossing his face. He is clad in clothing similar to Ren's and is equipped with a heater shield while bashing a foam target's head in with a flanged mace.
Also on hand to represent the Hyrulean Soldier is Zeke.
A captain in the Hyrulean forces, Zeke is a battle hardened veteran with extensive knowledge of the Soldier's weapons and tactics.
"We have been the first line of defense of Hyrule since the beginning and are the only reason it is still standing today," Zeke spoke.
Hailing from the Kingdom of Hyrule, the Hyrulean Soldiers are the front line fighting force during times of war and protectors of the Royal Family in peace time. After an initial period of peace, a legendary war was set to occur, where the forces of Hyrule were called to the front lines to face down the monstrous Moblin forces of the warlord Ganon.
"It was a long, drawn out campaign that saw our forces sustain heavy casualties and at times, hope was lost as the enemy forces kept growing in numbers, but even then there were those who were determined to fight until the bitter end for Hyrule," Zeke spoke.
The conflict would eventually see the capital city of Gundrumether taken and the king killed, the Hyrulean soldiers would continue to follow then monarch Nylin Nohansen Zelda I in defeating the Moblins and later rebuilding their kingdom. The kingdom would then see a golden age and rebuild their relations with other kingdoms until the invasion of the Gerudos under their leader Ganondorf during the Gerudo Wars. In another major war, the Hyrulean Soldiers would rise up under the new monarch and succeed in defeating the Gerudo Empire.
"We've had our highs and our lows, but in the end, we're still the best of the best. The Legion can try all they want to conquer us, but in the end, we're sending them back home with their tail between their legs," Ren confidently proclaimed.
The Hyrulean Soldier defends the King of Hyrule with a deadly flesh ripping arsenal:
Short Range: Hyrulean Broadsword
Mid-Range: Hylian Spear
Long Range: Crossbow
Special Weapon: Flanged Mace
But how will the Hyrulean Soldier fare when pitted against a fierce conqueror from afar?
The camera cuts to a gray-haired man with a stern expression and clad in a high-ranking officer's armor. He is checking over his short sword before picking up a nearby shield.
Up first representing the Imperial Legion is Legionnaire General Tullius.
A high-ranking officer from Cyrodiil, Tullius has personally led Legion forces into battle for many years, most notably in the Skyrim Civil War against the Stormcloak rebels.
"These Hyruleans may be used to fighting savage beasts, yet the Legion is made up intelligent, highly disciplined warriors who would overrun them and then take their land for themselves," Tullius stated.
The camera then cuts to another man, this one younger and with long brown hair, dressed in similar attire. He is equipped with a large steel war hammer that he is currently taking a few swings with.
Also representing the Legion will be the Legion foot soldier Hadvar.
Another veteran of the Skyrim Civil War, Hadvar has experience fighting on the front line for the Third Empire and knows his way around the various different kinds of weapons and tactics utilized by the Legion.
"The Legion is the strongest military force in all of Tamriel. We prove this time and time again. The Hyruleans are just another minor nuisance to us," Hadvar spoke.
Having its earliest roots in the Alessian Empire, it was when the Imperial Legion was born from the great army of Tiber Septim that the Third Era would be established. With their efforts, the Septim Empire would soon span all across the entire continent of Tamriel, soon taking part in the Oblivion Crisis to protect the Empire.
"It was a time of major turmoil and armed conflict which saw the emperor and his heirs being assassinated. The Empire fell on hard times afterward with political and cultural wounds felt long after," Hadvar spoke.
It wasn't until the ascension of a chosen successor that the Imperial Legion would help the Empire move into the Fourth Age, where they would find themselves drawn into major conflicts such as the Skyrim Civil War, fighting not only against the powerful Stormcloaks, but the returning dragons under the Nordic god of destruction, Alduin.
"It was another long war that saw heavy casualties on both sides, but we still fought until the very end and emerged victorious. When you fight for us, you are fighting for the elite. The Hyrulean will fall where he stands," Tullius proclaimed.
The Imperial Legion conquers the lands with a finely, lethally crafted arsenal:
Short Range: Imperial Sword
Mid-Range: Steel War Hammer
Long Range: Imperial Bow
Special Weapon: Steel Dagger
When both warriors charged into battle, they carried trusted swords crafted by their finest smiths. The Hyrulean Soldier cut down his enemies on the battlefield with the Hyrulean Broadsword.
(A Hyrulean Soldier is shown stabbing an attacking Bulblin with his broadsword.)
Hyrulean Broadsword
Double-Edged
Length: 39.5 in.
Weight: 2.5 lbs.
Material: Steel
Ren is shown standing before the panelists with his broadsword in hand.
"This is the typical sidearm used by Hyrulean forces when going into battle. Its design is similar to what you call 'arming swords' in your world. It is primarily intended for thrusting, but can also hack and slash when needed," Ren said showing off the blade and taking a practice swing followed by a practice thrust.
"We want to see the kind of damage that sword can deal and to do so, we have two targets," Bradley said motioning to two ballistic gel targets behind him, one bare and the other armored, "First, we have an unarmored target to see the closest kind of damage your blade would perform on exposed human flesh. Second, we have a guy wearing the body armor and helmet of an Imperial Legionnaire, in addition to the kind of shields they carried into battle. We want to see one strike to the chest, one to the head, and lastly to the shield. Think you can do that?"
"You want it? You got it!" Ren said getting into position.
"Alright Ren, on 3...2...1, attack!"
Ren started his attack by shooting his sword out into his target's chest before following up with another stab to its belly. He then drew his blade above his head and brought it down on the target's right arm, amputating it just above the elbow. He then went for a final swing that struck the dummy in the side of its neck, leaving it drooping to the side.
With the unarmored target finished, he made his way over to the armored target and tried to stab into the steel plate surface, yet only managed to scratch it. He then brought his blade down on top of the helmeted head, rocking the head violently, yet leaving only a small dent in the surface. He then brought his sword down onto the diamond-shaped shield, yet the blade deflected off the boss-like steel center.
Ren grunted in frustration, but quickly backed off as Dr. Kaiser approached his targets.
"Your first strike saw you piercing the heart for an instant kill. For your follow up strike, you are hitting him in the small intestine. It's a not an instant kill, yet it is a mortal wound that will become a kill if he is not given medical treatment immediately. Your next strike severed his sword arm and has left him defenseless. Unless you deliver the killing blow, he will be bleeding out. Your final strike has nearly decapitated this man; you've literally got his head hanging on by just a few bits of skin here," the good doctor said lifting the nearly severed head into place before it was again left dangling.
He then made his way over to assess the strikes made to the armored target, "I am just seeing scratches left on your enemy's cuirass and shield, as well as a small dent on his helmet. You have not delivered enough force to break any bones or gone deep enough to harm the user underneath. You may daze him with the shot to the helmet, but other than that, this Legionnaire could live to fight another day."
"And that we will," Tullius spoke up, "Our soldiers are the best swordsmen in all of Tamriel and we carry a trusted blade that is a proven killer of men, mer, and beastfolk alike."
To answer the Hyrulean's challenge, the Legion strikes back with their standard-issue killer, the Imperial Short Sword.
(A Legion soldier is shown running through a Stormcloak rebel with a strike to the chest from his short sword.)
Imperial Sword
Double-Edged
Length: 23.38 in.
Weight: 1.91 lbs.
Material: Imperial Steel
Tullius now stands before the panelists with his short sword in hand.
"Behold, I give you the right hand of the Legion. It is mainly a thrusting weapon, but it can also amputate limbs and decapitate our enemies," Tullius explained before taking a few practice swings of his own before ending with a thrust.
"It's going to be the same test for you, Tullius. You will show us what your sword can do against both an unarmored foe, and one wearing the body armor, helmet and shield of an attacking Hyrulean Soldier," Bradley said motioning to two new targets, the second wearing a sallet and mail and plate body armor with a Hyrulean heater shield at its side.
"Very well," Tullius said taking his position.
"Alright Tullius, on 3...2...1, hack 'em up!"
Tullius shot his blade out and stabbed the unarmored target in the chest before following up with a stab to its abdomen. He then drew back and swung the blade downward onto the target's right arm, leaving a deep cut that left the limb hanging limply at its side before slicing deep into the other arm and then swinging his blade into the dummy's throat, leaving a torrent of stage blood gushing from the open wound.
With his first target left a mangled, bloodied mess, Tullius then shifted his attention towards the armored target and swung his blade into its breastplate, yet only left a minor scratch. He then brought his blade down on the sallet, yet it deflected off and only shook the head underneath. Grunting in frustration, he then brought his blade down on the heater shield, yet it only bounced off. Tullius shook his head in disdain and drove his blade one final time through the target's exposed face.
"It is finished," Tullius spoke.
Dr. Kaiser made his way over to assess the damage done to both targets, starting with the unarmored.
"As it was with the other test, you went straight for the heart with this guy for an instant kill, and then followed up with a shot to his gut that punctured a curve in the upper intestine. That would cause waste matter to openly spill into the interior of the abdomen, resulting in a septic death...a very shitty way to go. For your shots to both arms, his right arm is left hanging by a thread, leaving him unable to fight back. Your shot to his left arm cuts deep into his bicep tissue, leaving him unable to hold any weapons or shields. Your last blow sliced this guy's throat open for an instant, and bloody kill."
The trauma doctor then made his way over to assess the damage done to the armored target, "Once again, I'm just seeing scratches and dents when it comes to body armor and the helmet. Your blow to the helmet could stun the wearer, but he'd still be alive to fight back. The shield also held its ground," Dr. Kaiser reported before lifting the sallet to examine the wound to the target's face, "Damn, your blade went all the way through this guy's head. It wasn't planned, but it still sends a message."
"The Legion will do whatever it must to send a message to all future opponents. That is the fate which awaits you should you rise against us," Tullius replied.
Both blades showed off their respective hacking and stabbing abilities, but where do our panelists stand?
"We are basically comparing a Medieval-era arming sword to a Roman gladius with this test. Both these blades have shown they can slash just as well as they can thrust, yet the Hyrulean Broadsword's reach ultimately wins out for me in the end," Bradley started.
"I agree with both these blades thrusting and slashing just as well as the other. From what we've seen, they struggle with each warrior's armor and can only really do damage if they somehow find a way around it. Yet the Broadsword did cause more damage and its greater length earns my edge," Dr. Kaiser seconded.
"I'm in agreement, longer blade, edge Hyrulean," Eddie concluded.
In short range weapons, the Hyrulean Soldier takes the edge with the Hyrulean Broadsword.
Coming up, a flesh tearing spear is pitted against a bone crushing war hammer.
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The Hyrulean Soldier and the Imperial Legion, two fierce front line forces fighting for their respective kingdoms, hardened by constant conflict.
"Hyrule is a land surrounded by hostile tribes and vicious beasts. We constantly have to be on heightened alert," Zeke explained.
"Even during supposed 'peacetime,' the Legion is kept busy. Our idea of 'taking a break' is taking down bands of rebels and other beasts that plague the land," Hadvar spoke.
When the Legion needed to take down large and heavily-armored targets, they relied upon a bone crushing, blunt force killer to do the job, the Steel War Hammer.
(A Legion soldier is shown knocking an Aldmeri Dominion soldier off his horse with the war hammer's blunt end before finishing him off with a downward strike from the spike end.)
Steel War Hammer
Length: 5 ft.
Weight: 5 lbs.
Material: Steel head, wooden shaft
Hadvar stood before the panelists with war hammer in hand, leaving them to admire the intricate designs engraved in the steel head.
"This isn't one of our common weapons, but we will use it when faced with heavily-armored or larger targets. We have a blunt end we can use for breaking anything, whether it be stone, armor, or bone, and then a pick on the other end for piercing armor," he explained.
"That does look pretty intimidating," Dr. Kaiser commented as he inspected both ends of the weapon.
"Infantry or cavalry, no one is safe," Hadvar replied.
"And you're going to have the opportunity to test that claim against both," Bradley said motioning towards a nearby bull skull, "Up first, we want to see what the blunt end of your war hammer can do. Our stand-in is a bull skull, which is twice as thick as a human skull."
He then shifted his attention towards another target, an armored one mounted atop a mechanical horse on a track, "Up next, we want to see what both ends can do against an armored opponent, and furthermore, its anti-cavalry capabilities. We want to see a shot from both ends."
"Very well," Hadvar said taking his position in front of the bull skull.
"On 3...2...1, crush 'em!"
With a mighty swing, Hadvar brings the hammer's blunt end down on the bull's skull and obliterates its face in an explosion of bone fragments.
"Alright, release the rider!"
On cue, Eddie activated the controls that sent the mechanical horse barreling towards Hadvar, who sidestepped the steed charging steed and swung his hammer into the dummy's armored chest. The force of the blow knocked the dummy off the horse and sent it falling to the floor with a thunderous thud. Hadvar made his way over and brought the spike end down on the dummy's chest, further wrecking the armor. He then followed up by bringing the spike end down onto the dummy's sallet, the blow crushing both the helmet and the head inside.
"Heh, might as well save yourself the trouble, Doc. I don't think he's getting back up from that one," Eddie commented staring at the remnants of both targets.
Nevertheless, Dr. Kaiser made his way over for his inspection, starting with the bull skull.
"You annihilated this skull, again mind you, twice the thickness of a human skull. Since you took off the frontal portion of the skull, this would be analogous to a mid-face fracture," the good doctor reported.
He then made his way over to examine the remnants of the fallen mounted target, "Your first blow would hurt like a bitch. You broke all the ribs and created what is called a 'flail chest.' This could very well kill someone unless they got proper medical attention immediately," he said before carefully removing the armor to examine the spike strike beneath, "That is a long spike you've got there and it went deep enough to pierce the armor and strike this guy's lung to collapse it. As if he doesn't have enough problems already following your first strike."
He then removed the helmet to get a better look at the damage caused by the last attack, "Your spike strike was strong enough you were able to crack the side of this guy's whole skull open," he said before poking his finger in the hole, "And I'm able to feel brain matter. This guy is toast."
"I think we've found our game changer, folks," Eddie commented before turning his attention over to Zeke, "Think this would be a good time to start praying to whatever gods you believe in?"
"It would be foolish to count us out just yet," Zeke said before looking over to Hadvar, "I see how tired you are right now from swinging such a cumbersome weapon around."
"He does make a valid point. You are looking pretty winded following that display. Hadvar, how exactly do you feel?" Dr. Kaiser asked.
"I won't lie. I am a bit tired, but my opponent is dead. That's all that matters," Hadvar replied.
"You would never have a chance to get that close to us. Our spear's superior reach be impaling you before you can even get within reach," Zeke replied.
Answering the Legion's challenge, the Hyrulean Soldier retaliates with the long reaching Hylian Spear.
(A Hyrulean Soldier is shown driving his spear through the chest of an attacking Lizalfos.)
Hylian Spear
Length: 7 ft.
Weight: 5 lbs.
Material: Steel head, wooden shaft
Zeke stood before the panelists with the spear in hand and performed a few quick thrusts before holding it upright to emphasize its superior length.
"This is a common weapon among Hyrulean soldiers, whether we are guarding the royal family or fighting out on the front lines. Its length allows us to use it effectively against both infantry and mounted opponents," he explained.
"Makes me think of the dory," Eddie commented, noting the butt spike acting as a counter weight, "Could be death from both ends."
"You never know with what we go against," Zeke replied.
"It's going to be the same kind of test for you, first against an unarmored challenger, and second against a mounted opponent," Bradley said motioning towards a gel torso and then a dummy clad in Legion armor and mounted atop a mechanical horse, "We want to see what both ends can do."
"Understood," Zeke said taking his position.
"Then on 3...2...1, stick 'em!"
Zeke shot his spear into the gel target's chest, so hard it tore all the way through and the tip was left exiting out the back. With a labored grunt, the Hyrulean captain yanked the spear out.
"Release the rider!"
Eddie activated the controls and the mechanical horse sped towards Zeke on its track, who again shot the spear out and into its armored chest, sending the armored dummy clattering noisily to the floor. With his target grounted, Zeke ran over and drove the spear's butt spike through its exposed face.
"It is done!" Zeke called out.
Dr. Kaiser made his way over to assess the damage, starting with the gel target.
"This is one of the worst possible blows this guy could take. With one thrust, you've broken this guy's ribs and pierced both his heart and lung, all before your spear exited through the back. This man would be dead within 30 seconds," the doctor explained.
"And by measuring the force at which you struck him, it would feel as if he were suffering a two-story fall if your spear had been held vertically," Bradley spoke while reading the results off his monitor.
Dr. Kaiser then made his way over to assess the damage done to the fallen cavalryman, starting with his body armor.
"I am seeing a small hole where the spear connected, yet it didn't go deep enough to cause any serious penetration. The majority of the damage this guy took would come from the fall itself, possibly breaking bones and knocking him out cold. Your shot from the butt spike though was in the dead center of his face for an instant kill," the good doctor concluded.
"You don't accomplish anything unless you are striking an area not covered by armor. Legion soldiers are walking tanks in battle. Good luck with that," Hadvar chuckled.
"But we can still outreach you. Just remember that," Zeke answered.
Both mid-ranged weapons dealt death in their own different, yet brutal ways, but where do our panelists stand?
"For me, the steel war hammer takes the edge. It's an anti-armor weapon that can cancel out the heavier armor of the Hyrulean," Bradley started.
"I see both weapons as having their advantages and drawbacks. The hammer has options with both of its ends, yet can be more taxing on the user's stamina. On the flipside, the spear has the greater reach and can thrust thanks to its head, yet it needs to strike an unarmored portion of a Legion soldier to be effective. That being said, my edge goes to the hammer as it can cancel out the armor advantage of the Hyrulean," Dr. Kaiser seconded.
"The hammer might be more draining on the user's stamina, but as you've said, it accomplishes the important goal of somehow canceling out the Hyrulean's armor. Edge steel war hammer," Eddie concluded.
In mid-ranged weapons, the Imperial Legion takes the edge with the Steel War Hammer.
Coming up, the battle goes to long range when both combatants unleash death from afar.
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The Hyrulean Soldier and the Imperial Legion. Both warriors have shown how deadly they can be in close quarters combat, but what happens when they go to long range?
For the Hyrulean Soldier, he relied upon a tried and proven killer from afar, the Crossbow.
(A Hyrulean Soldier is shown using his crossbow to shoot down a Moblin as it is about to storm the castle.)
Crossbow
Length: 40.25 in.
Weight: 10.31 lbs.
Material: Wood, steel
Ren stood before the panelists with his crossbow in hand.
"All Hyrulean soldiers are given extensive marksmanship training with these crossbows. We've dropped plenty a Moblin before they can even dare touch our castle walls," Ren proudly proclaimed.
"We'd like to see Hyrulean marksmanship in action," Bradley said before motioning to a course set up behind him, "Here we have 3 attacking enemy soldiers, one of whom is outfitted in Legion body armor," he said motioning to the three foam targets on zip lines behind him, including the armored one. "All will be in moving and we are giving you 6 shots to prove your point. When you are ready!"
"Very well," Ren said taking his position as the targets started moving back and forth.
He took aim and exhaled while squeezing the trigger, his first bolt finding its way into the chest of an unarmored target.
Ren reached over for another bolt and spanned the bowstring by hand, inviting concerned glances from the panelists.
"That's taking him too much time. That would hurt him in an actual fight," Bradley commented.
Ren resumed his firing position and shot his next arrow into the armored target, yet it bounced off a steel portion and left only a dent. The Hyrulean was undeterred and fired another bolt that flew into its exposed neck. He then loaded the fourth bolt and fired it into the other unarmored target's sternum before loading the fifth and firing it into the first bare target's shoulder. With one bolt left, he took aim and fired it into the armored target's face.
Dr. Kaiser made his way over to assess the damage done to the targets, starting with the armored target, "With our armored guy here, we are seeing two perfectly placed kill shots, one to the jugular, and the other right to the middle of his face. Either way, it's instant lights out for him," he said before examining the armor, "Your shot to the chest failed to penetrate. You might stagger him, but you won't kill him with that one."
He then made his way over to assess the damage done to the unarmored targets, "Your first guy took a picture perfect shot to the aorta for an instant kill and after that, he took a round to the shoulder that would have crippled his arm, leaving him unable to fight back. For your other guy, it's a piercing shot through the sternum for another instant kill. You are 3 for 3 with this."
"But you wasted quite a bit of time while spanning your crossbow. An Imperial can simply fire more arrows from our bow in the same amount of time," Hadvar spoke up.
Answering the Hyrulean's challenge, the Imperial Legion returns fire with a trusted killer of his own, the Imperial Bow.
(A Legion soldier is shown taking aim with his bow and dropping the leader of an Orc raiding party.)
Imperial Bow
Length: 3 ft.
Weight: 2.5 lbs.
Material: Wood, steel
"This is the bow of the Imperial Legion," Hadvar said proudly showing off his bow for the panelists, "It's accurate, maneuverable, and rapid firing. It's dropped many enemies of the Legion long before they knew we were there. It will be no different for the Hyrulean."
"It's the same test for you, Hadvar. You've got 3 moving targets, one of whom is wearing the Hyrulean's mail and plate. You've got 6 shots to make your point," Bradley spoke.
"Consider it done," Hadvar said taking his position as the targets started moving back and forth.
He took aim and fired his first arrow into the chest of the armored target, yet the arrow became lodged in a mail portion and hung limply as the target continued moving.
"That's not good," Eddie commented.
Hadvar was undeterred and reached into his quiver for a new arrow, stringing it and firing his second arrow into the ribcage of an unarmored target. With a quick, practiced motion, he drew and notched his third arrow, firing it into the chest of the other unarmored target. Setting his sights back on the armored target, Hadvar fired his fourth arrow into its neck before firing another into its face. He then strung his last arrow and fired it into the armored target's jaw.
"I'm going to get the obvious out of the way first," Dr. Kaiser said making his way over to the armored target, "Ironically, despite being the most well-armored of the bunch, he's the most damaged."
"The Legion is always trained to go after the biggest threat first," Hadvar smirked.
Dr. Kaiser carefully pulled the three arrows out, "These are all instant kill shots, one pierced windpipe, a pierced brain stem, and a shattered jaw. Your arrow that struck managed to pierce the mail, yet it would only be enough to wound him in the end."
"You're only lethal once you get around the chain mail," Ren pointed out.
"We are always trained to go after the weakest points first," Hadvar replied.
Dr. Kaiser then set his sights on the unarmored targets, "For your first unarmored target, you hit him in the ribcage, dropping his lung and hitting his heart in the process for a kill. For your second target, you managed to strike him in the aorta, the biggest blood vessel in the human body. It's going to be a rapid bleed out and a kill. You are 3 for 3 with this."
The Crossbow and the Imperial Bow, both proved their lethal effectiveness, but where do our panelists stand?
"Both these weapons are deadly and accurate without question, but the Hyrulean is more at risk of being sniped in the middle of a battle as it takes him longer to span the crossbow by hand, whereas the Imperial soldier can simply fire more arrows from his bow in the same amount of time. Edge Imperial," Bradley started.
"The Imperial Bow is as Hadvar put it, more maneuverable and rapid firing, so that wins it in the end. Edge Imperial," Eddie seconded.
"While both these bows can have separate effects upon their opponent's armor, it isn't by much. However, the Imperial Bow's faster reload rate wins it for me in the end," Dr. Kaiser concluded.
In long range weapons, the Imperial Legion takes the edge with the Imperial Bow.
Coming up, a skull busting mace is pitted against a sneaky dagger.
And then later, two fierce front line warriors clash in a battle to determine who is "The Fictional Deadliest Warrior!"
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The Hyrulean Soldier and the Imperial Legion, two fierce infantry warriors who have never met on the field of battle until now.
When both warriors needed an extra trick up their sleeve, they relied upon two very different types of special weapons. For the Imperial Legion, when all else failed he carried a trusted sidearm, the Steel Dagger.
(A Legion soldier is shown stabbing a Stormcloak rebel in the gut repeatedly with his steel dagger before slicing his throat open.)
Steel Dagger
Length: 17.5 in.
Weight: 13.9 oz.
Material: Steel
Tullius stood before the panelists and drew a steel dagger from his side holster, "This is a common blade found throughout our kingdom, yet the Legion undergoes the extra training that makes us more effective with this blade than some run of the mill bandit you'd find lurking in the forests."
"Well then let's see that Legion training put to use," Bradley said as he motioned to a ballistic gel target nearby, "We have a gel torso representing an attacking Hyrulean and we are giving you 15 seconds to do was much damage possible."
"I will not fail you," Tullius said taking his position with his dagger at the ready.
"Alright Tullius, on 3...2...1, cut 'em up!"
Tullius drove his dagger into the torso's stomach, twisting the blade methodically before pulling it out in a gruesome torrent of stage blood. He then drove his blade twice into the torso's chest area before pulling out and stabbing the dagger into the dummy's temple and then drawing the blade across its throat, sending another torrent of fake blood gushing out in a gruesome display of crimson.
"Time!" Bradley called out, and not soon enough as the panelists looked on in awe.
Dr. Kaiser carefully made his way over to the eviscerated dummy to examine the final damage.
"You tore right into this guy's intestines and added all that extra trauma from twisting the knife. Just from seeing how smooth that blade is, you didn't get it stuck, a small miracle right there. You then stabbed this guy twice in the chest and both times, broke through the ribs hitting his lung and heart for instant kills. Then, you stabbed him in the temple for instant lights out, followed by a more gruesome display as you slit his throat wide open, a severed windpipe. All shots are instant kills."
"But how does he expect to get that close to a Hyrulean Soldier with that puny dagger? Not to forget he would struggle with the soldier's armor. On the other hand, we come equipped with a mace that would cancel out his armor and prevent him from getting close enough to use that little knife of his," Zeke spoke up.
To answer the Legion's challenge, the Hyrulean swings back with a bone crushing blunt weapon of his own, the Flanged Mace.
(A Hyrulean Soldier is shown swinging his flanged mace into the stomach of a Gerudo warrior before bringing it down on the back of her neck.)
Flanged Mace
Length: 2.5 ft.
Weight: 5.5 lbs.
Material: Steel
"This is one of our most trusted weapons against all the foes faced by our kingdom. Armored or not, it doesn't matter once we bring this out. It can crack any skull as if it were an eggshell," Zeke spoke.
"I'm eager to see how much damage you can do with that," Bradley said before motioning to the 3 targets set up behind him, "We've got 3 targets here for you to test it out on. Two of them are synthetic skulls and the last being a ballistic gel bust outfitted in an Imperial helmet. There is also a pressure sensor fitted beneath the helmet that will let us know whether or not you are just stunning this guy, or killing him. All you have to do now, is destroy."
"That I will," Zeke nodded while taking his position.
"Then on 3...2...1, smash 'em up!" Bradley shouted.
With a mighty roar, Zeke launched himself at the first skull, bringing the mace down onto the crown and shattering it to pieces, prompting a collective gasp of awe from the panelists. He then approached the second skull and repeated the process of devastation, leaving scattered fragments littering the ground below. It was then he approached the gel skull and drew his arm back, striking with enough force to dent the helmet inward like an aluminum can, yet sending enough blood and bits of gel raining out from below to get his point across.
"Damn, that's a miniature wrecking ball you've got yourself there," Eddie commented.
"More like a miniature nuke," Bradley replied.
"Like a bull in a China shop as they would say," Dr. Kaiser said making his way over to assess the damage done, starting with the remnants of the synthetic skulls. "There are no questions necessary here regarding these guys. Instant kills."
He then made his way over to assess the ballistic gel bust and carefully removed the heavily dented helmet, stepping back and letting fake bone and brain fragments spill out.
"This guy's brains have been turned to mush and his neck is broken. This helmet did nothing to protect him, aside from preventing a lesser mess than from before," he concluded.
"And in less than 15 seconds, with a force of over 300 psi," Bradley added.
"Any barbarian can do that. The Legion requires skill with our weapons," Tullius countered as Zeke shook his head.
The steel dagger and the flanged mace, both weapons killed their targets in different ways, but where do our panelists stand?
"I'm going with the flanged mace due to its size and its better capabilities against armored opponents," Bradley started.
"I agree. The mace is more effective in melee combat due to it being a bludgeoning weapon, which proves more effective against armor. Edge mace," Dr. Kaiser seconded.
"The dagger may be lighter and offer more options, but the Hyrulean's armor could cancel that out. I doubt the Legion's armor can say the same about the mace," Eddie concluded.
In special weapons, the Hyrulean Soldier takes the edge with the Flanged Mace.
As it is with all warriors, there is a critical X-factor that makes them who they are. For the Hyrulean Soldier, it is their kingdom's continued existence as a result of their efforts.
"For as long as our kingdom has been in existence, we have faced threats from all over the lands, yet our strength as a collective force coupled with others being there to assist us has ensured our existence continues," Zeke spoke.
For the Imperial Legion, it's the vast empire they have managed to carve out.
"The Imperial Legion is responsible for the vast empire that stretches across all of Tamriel. We have fought all types of enemies from rival armies to bands of raiders, from trolls to dragons. We have had our setbacks, but through it all, we have still managed to carve out one of the largest empires our world has ever seen. It's thanks to the Legion's superior discipline and training that was made possible," Tullius explained.
Coming up, two fierce front line forces clash for the first time ever!
XXXXXX
With our testing complete and our X-factors evaluated, we are now one step closer to determining who will be "The Fictional Deadliest Warrior."
Our teams tested 4 weapons used by the Hyrulean Soldier: the Hyrulean Broadsword, the Hylian Spear, the Crossbow, and the Flanged Mace.
On the opposite side, 4 weapons used by the Imperial Legion were tested: the Imperial Sword, the Steel War Hammer, the Imperial Bow, and the Steel Dagger.
In short range weapons, the Broadsword's greater length cut down the Imperial Sword.
EDGE: Hyrulean Soldier
In mid-ranged weapons, the War Hammer pulverized the Hylian Spear.
EDGE: Imperial Legion
In long range weapons, the Imperial Bow outshot the Crossbow thanks to its superior reload time.
EDGE: Imperial Legion
And lastly, the Flanged Mace's greater length and anti-armor capabilities obliterated the Steel Dagger.
EDGE: Hyrulean Soldier
Our scientists and weapons experts are done testing. The results are in and the time has come to decide who will be the victor. To ensure the battle won't be decided by a single, lucky blow, the battle will be simulated one thousand times in a duel to the death.
Who will prevail in a battle between two fierce infantry warriors?
Defender
(An assembled mass of Hyrulean Soldiers are shown firing simultaneously, cutting down invading Moblins.)
vs. Conqueror
(A group of Legion soldiers are shown pushing their way into an Aldmeri outpost, cutting down those who rise to oppose them.)
Discipline
(An assembled army of Legion soldiers stand at attention as they prepare for a massive battle.)
vs. Determination
(A Hyrulean Soldier is shown on the ground, only to reach for his Hylian Spear and impales a Moblin who was about to finish him off.)
"Everything is set and only one will be left standing. It's game time!" Eddie said before starting the simulation.
XXXXXX
In a forest not too far from the outskirts of Hyrule, a lone Hyrulean Soldier has set up camp within the shade of a great tree. He is still wearing his combat attire consisting of his plated mail and a sallet on his head. He still has his broadsword in a scabbard strapped to his left side in addition to a quiver full of bolts strapped to the right side. Nearby his heater shield rests against a large rock along with a spanned crossbow, flanged mace and Hylian spear around it.
Nearby, a lone man clad in the armor of the Imperial Legion scouts ahead as his army seeks to expand the borders of the Septim Empire. He marches with his diamond-shaped Imperial Shield in his left hand and a steel war hammer in the other. His sword Imperial Sword is in a scabbard strapped to his left and a steel dagger in another strapped at his right. A quiver full of arrows is strapped to his back and an Imperial bow is slung over his left shoulder.
The Imperial soldier continues further into the forest until he spots a pillar of smoke rising above the trees. Intrigued by the sight, he cautiously moves toward the source and finds the Hyrulean Soldier at his campsite. Noting the man's heavily-armored appearance, he realizes this man must be a soldier from the nearby kingdom and quietly sets his shield and war hammer against a nearby tree before sliding the bow off his shoulder and pulling an arrow from his quiver.
The Hyrulean Soldier has just finished the stew he was feasting on when he is distracted by a rustling from the distance and reaches down for his crossbow, looking up to see a deer as the cause of the noise and with it, the Imperial soldier in the distance taking aim at him.
Reacting on instinct, the Hyrulean goes to dodge to his right, but is too slow and cries out as the arrow punches through the mail hauberk in his left shoulder. With a pained grunt, the Hyrulean squeezes the crossbow's trigger and the bolt goes flying past the Imperial soldier's head, embedding itself in a tree trunk just inches away. The Imperial is left slightly shaken, but quickly recovers and reaches for another arrow, firing it as the Hyrulean scampers for his other weapons. The Imperial does not let up and reaches for a third arrow and fires it, but the Hyrulean gets his heater shield up just in time and the arrow is left stuck in its wooden surface.
With his Hylian spear drawn, the Hyrulean Soldier charges forth after his new enemy, forcing the Imperial to toss his bow aside and draw his sword as he sidestepped a thrust from the spear. Finding himself conveniently near his shield, the Imperial reaches down and grabs it just in time to block another attempted thrust from the Hyrulean. He attempted to use his shield in an effort to push his opponent back, but the Hyrulean leaped backwards gracefully and managed to avoid an attempted slash from the Imperial's sword.
The Hyrulean inched backwards in an effort to hold the Imperial at a distance, yet the Imperial cautiously looked on in an effort to find an opening in his new opponent's defenses. He let out an ear-piercing yell as he charged the soldier with his sword raised high, yet it was him faking the Hyrulean out as he struck the man head on with his shield and sent him stumbling backwards, releasing his grip on the spear.
With his opponent disarmed, the Legion soldier stomps on the spear's wooden shaft, breaking it in half and then kicking the bottom half away so he can't reach for the bottom half and its spike. The Hyrulean isn't out of the fight as he draws his broadsword from his scabbard and swings at the Imperial's sword arm, which the man brings his shield up to deflect, only to find himself faked out as the Hyrulean changes course and slashes into his side. His armor absorbs the brunt of the blow, but the Imperial is left winded and lowering his shield, leaving himself open as the Hyrulean swings at his neck, which he throws himself backward to avoid.
The Hyrulean does not let up and makes a charge of his own, swinging his broadsword to which the Imperial barely brings his own blade up to block in a jarring clash of steel. The Imperial recovers quickly and both men swing their swords again in a shower of sparks that turns into a back and forth struggle with both men exchanging blows from their blades and their shields. It was a draining struggle that would continue until the Hyrulean's longer blade cut into the Imperial's forearm, causing him to back up and leaving him open as the Hyrulean shot his blade's tip outward, only managing to slash the Imperial's thigh open as the conqueror moved at the last second.
The Imperial soldier is left in pain and bleeding, but still struggles to hold onto his sword and shield as the Hyrulean delivers another flurry of sword slashes that are either parried by his sword or blocked by his shield, but the Imperial manages to find an opening and slashes into the Hyrulean's sword arm, causing him to drop his blade.
Remembering his flanged mace laying nearby, the Hyrulean rushes to grab it and turns around to swing it as the Imperial tries to gain on him, but the Imperial gets his shield up just in time and is knocked backwards by the force of the blow. Another blow knocks the smarting soldier to the ground and he is forced to discard his shield as he rolls out of the way to avoid a strike directed at his head.
The Imperial remembers the steel war hammer he brought along and pushes himself back to his feet and rushes over to grab the hefty weapon and turns to meet the pursuing Hyrulean. With a labored grunt, he swings the war hammer overhead and brings it down onto the Hyrulean, who gets his heater shield up just in time to absorb the full brunt of the blow. The Imperial does not stop and brings the hammer down again, hard enough to break a bone in the Hyrulean's arm, before he brings it down again and splinters the shield.
The Hyrulean feels the fresh waves of pain shooting down his arm and with his last line of defense being reduced to splinters fast, he defiantly pushes himself outward and knocks the Imperial from his feet, causing the man to lose his grip on his war hammer. Reaching down and reclaiming his mace he readied to reduce his enemy's head to a bloody pulp, but the Imperial rolled out of the way and his mace only struck dirt.
Mustering his strength, the Imperial reached for the steel dagger strapped to his side and drove it into the Hyrulean's right thigh, causing him to scream out in pain. He wasn't done as he reached over and sliced the man's left hamstring, causing him to lose balance and collapse to his knees.
With his opponent immobilized, the Legion soldier reached down for the steel war hammer and glared upon his opponent before raising it above his head with a war cry and bringing the hammer end down on top of the Hyrulean's skull with a sickening crack that sent the birds in the nearby trees scattering for safety.
Using the spike on the back of his war hammer to hook onto his fallen opponent's body, the Imperial rolled the motionless Hyrulean over onto his back ready to strike again, yet halted when he saw how badly dented the soldier's helmet was, coupled with the blood running down his face and the crimson pool forming beneath his head.
Satisfied that his opponent was finished off, the Imperial raised his war hammer into the air and shouted, "Long live the emperor! Long live the empire!"
XXXXXX
Winner: Imperial Legion
Imperial Legion:
Imperial Sword: 93
Steel War Hammer: 234
Imperial Bow: 194
Steel Dagger: 19
Total: 540
Hyrulean Soldier:
Hyrulean Broadsword: 125
Hylian Spear: 118
Crossbow: 101
Flanged Mace: 116
Total: 460
"It was another close battle, but in the end the Imperial Legion triumphed thanks in part to having the best overall weapon in the battle, his steel war hammer. It had great reach, it had more than one ways to attack, and it had strong anti-armor capabilities."
"While the Hyrulean did manage to dominate in close quarters combat with his broadsword and mace, the Legion's mid and long range weapons still allowed for the Imperial to keep his distance from close quarters combat when necessary," Bradley explained.
"This is only the result of a one on one battle. Had this been army against army, things would have been different!" Zeke scowled.
"The glory of the Legion reigns supreme. The Hyruleans would be foolish to challenge us again," Tullius grinned.
(The Imperial is shown standing alone in the forest, waiting for his colleagues to arrive as he looks upon Hyrule Castle in the distance.)
XXXXXX
Next time on "Fictional Deadliest Warrior" it's a battle between two sneaky inhuman killer races:
(An avian-looking humanoid with its body covered in a black cloak swings a pair of elven blades at the screen.)
Ra'Zac: The master assassins of Alagaesia who killed all opposed to Galbatorix...
vs.
(A reptilian humanoid clad in a green and black ninja outfit swings its claws at the camera.)
Saurian: The secretive, cold-blooded survivors of Zaterra who fiercely oppose those who threaten their existence.
Who will be "The Fictional Deadliest Warrior?!"
XXXXXX
Author's Note: And thus this concludes yet another installment of FDW.
Ren and Zeke are original characters that belong to me. I was originally going to have Impa as an expert for the Hyrulean Soldier, but I've opted to save her for a later battle.
The Imperial Legion, Tullius, Hadvar and all other Skyrim references are owned by Bethesda. The Hyrulean Soldier and all Zelda references are owned by Nintendo.
With apologies to Legend of Zelda fans!
Once again, this is the Metal Harbinger telling you to keep it FUCKING METAL!