Morning, Loves!

Thank you to Mel!

CHAPTER SEVEN

Bella

There is no refuge from memory and remorse in this world. The spirits of our foolish deeds haunt us, with or without repentance.

— Gilbert Parker

Five Months Later

My eyes burned as I gazed at my computer screen. I was in the very final moments of my master's dissertation. Just one more read through and I could send it off, officially wrapping up my second degree.

My eyes skimmed each line, and I tried aggressively to stay focused despite my sheer exhaustion. It had been a hard slog the last few months, trying to get through my research. I'd been completely buried in my work, barely surfacing to eat or sleep, let alone socialize.

I wasn't sure the last time I talked to anyone who wasn't my supervisor.

I finally finished reading the document and let out a deep breath, cracking my neck before I pulled up the submission tab. I'd have to turn it in digitally and in person, but I was ready to print off a fresh copy to drop off.

My fingers tapped my desk as I uploaded my document, triple checking that everything was in order before I finally hit submit.

The moment the screen changed, showing me that I had successfully turned in my dissertation, I let out a long groan, stretching my arms over my head and trying to expel some of the anxious energy inside me.

I took a swig of my coffee, wincing because it was both cold and stale. When was the last time I made coffee? I had no idea.

Shaking my head, I started printing the final copy before I stood and headed to the bathroom to finally shower. I reeked, and I just needed to stand under some hot water for as long as possible before I made my way onto campus to turn in my hardcopy.

The shower did some work to revive me, enough that my mind finally cleared from my research and turned to other matters. Mom had been texting me, asking me if I was finally going to make it home sometime before I started school again. I'd been putting her off even though I hadn't seen her in years.

I hadn't heard from Edward, but likewise, I hadn't reached out to him. He was good about not contacting me first, which I appreciated. The last time we'd spoken, we'd talked about his deal in Kazakhstan. I wondered how that ended up working out.

I got dressed in jeans and a tank, happy to be out of my sweats finally, before I pulled on a light cardigan, grabbed my dissertation and purse, and headed out the door.

It was a beautiful summer day in Oxford. The sun was warm and bright, the breeze cool and gentle. I felt like I could hear birds singing as I made my way onto campus.

One more step closer to having my PhD.

I'd been working so hard for this. I only had one more mountain to conquer, and I would finally have it, everything I'd ever worked for.

After I'd married Edward, I'd gotten a letter informing me that my visa was, in fact, in good standing, and that a clerical error had led them to reach out to me previously. Similarly, my funding had been magically fixed, and while it had at first pissed me off, in the end I was grateful that it seemed Edward was able to pull such strings for me. It had definitely made my life easier.

It was a decent walk from my flat to the office where I was meant to turn in my work, but I didn't mind today. Maybe I would stop and get a sandwich on the way back. Maybe I'd even eat it in the park.

Absolutely nothing was going to spoil my good mood today. I was practically giddy with relief and excitement at finishing this milestone. Nothing and no one could take that away from me.

…

I was able to submit my dissertation without incident, and the moment it was out of my hands, I headed straight for my favorite little cafe. I'd caught them pre-lunch hour, so it was mostly quiet inside as I stepped in.

I placed my order, my mouth salivating at the thought of actual food. It was definitely too nice to eat indoors. I'd find a place outside to take my sandwich.

I pulled out my phone while I waited for my meal to be ready, checking my messages and wincing when I saw another one from my mom. Now that she was married, it seemed more important than ever to her that I visit.

As if I wasn't aware of what life with Phil in our apartment was like.

I ignored her messages for now and stuffed my phone back into my purse. Eventually, I would have to go back to see my mom, but I wasn't ready yet. My existence away from her felt fragile, tenuous. Phoenix was a vortex, a vacuum trying to suck me back into its depths, and I was doing everything in my power to avoid it.

At least until I was strong enough to resist.

I heard my order being called and I stepped up, happily taking my sandwich and coffee to go. I grabbed a couple of napkins before stepping back onto the cobbled street.

Now, where to go…

A body slammed into me so hard I flew backward, my coffee spilling everywhere. I shrieked as it burned my hand, my other fist clinging onto my sandwich for dear life.

"What the hell are you doing?" I shouted, my heart thundering as I tried to right myself. People were staring at us all up and down the street as I tried to untangle myself from the stranger. "Seriously, what is your deal? You owe me another coffee."

I finally righted myself and took in the person who had plowed into me.

The moment my eyes landed on her face, my breathing stopped.

"Alice?" I choked.

She was thinner than she'd been when we were teenagers, her hair long and matted. She had deep purple bruises around her eyes, and her cheeks were hollow, giving her a gaunt look.

"Alice?" I still couldn't believe it was her. How could she be here? Where the hell had she been for the past four years?

"We need to hide," she said, her voice raspy. "Where can we go?"

I blinked then pointed up the road. "My place is that way."

Alice nodded, and before I could stop her, she took off in the direction I had indicated. I scrambled to follow her.

"Alice, where have you been?"

She shook her head, her eyes vigorously scanning the streets.

"Not here," she hissed.

My heart leapt in my chest. She looked awful, and if she was feeling paranoid about someone potentially seeing us, I had to assume someone was watching us.

Should I call Edward?

I led Alice back to my flat, thoughts racing through my head until we were securely behind my locked door.

I turned to see Alice taking in my apartment and I winced. "Excuse the mess," I said, hurriedly running to the coffee table to scoop up piles of papers and dishes I'd left behind.

I glanced back to see Alice moving to my windows. Aggressively, she reached up and yanked the blinds closed, plunging us into darkness. I hit my knee on my coffee table and hissed, hustling to the kitchen where I dumped the dishes and papers on the counter before I ran back to the living room to flick on the light.

"Alice, what happened to you?"

Alice finally turned to look at me, her eyes appearing even more haunted in the light of my lamp. "I had to escape," she said, her voice thin. "I finally escaped."

I motioned her toward the sofa. "Sit down. Let me make you a cup of tea, okay?"

Alice sat and I hurried to the kitchen, flicking on the electric kettle.

What did it mean that Alice was here after all this time? What had she gone through? How had she found me?

I looked down to see my hands were shaking. I clasped them tightly together and took a deep breath. One thing at a time.

I moved to the dishes, wincing when I realized I had no clean mugs.

I did what I could to tidy up the kitchen while the water boiled, and in that time, I tried to organize the thoughts and feelings racing through me.

The last time I saw Alice conscious, she'd been running for her life because of a situation I had put us in.

She'd gotten hurt because of me.

As soon as the water boiled, I fixed us two cups of tea before taking a deep breath and heading back to the living room.

Alice wasn't on the sofa, and for a horrible moment, I wondered if I'd actually imagined her in my sleep-deprived state.

But then I turned and saw her squatting and examining my small bookshelf on the other side of the room.

I cleared my throat and she looked at me. "Your tea," I said, placing it on the coffee table.

She nodded and stood upright, coming to sit on the sofa while I sat on the other end, my own cup in my hands.

I watched as she settled, her skeletal fingers pinching at the cotton blend fabric of the sofa, as if for some reason, it was a foreign texture.

"Alice?" I said, my voice soft. She slowly lifted her gaze in my direction. "Where have you been?"

Alice swallowed and shook her head. "I don't know," she said slowly. "I don't know where I was, or how long I was there." She stopped and looked at me. "How old are we?"

My heart panged. "I'm twenty-two," I said softly. "I'll be twenty-three in September."

Alice nodded slowly. "Did you graduate?"

I frowned, and then after a moment, realized what she was asking. "From the Academy?" I asked, needing to be sure. When she nodded again, I let out a breath. "Yes. I graduated."

"What did they take from you?" she asked, her voice hollow.

"Take?"

"They always take something. Sometimes it's your genetics; sometimes it's your freedom." She paused, and I flinched.

Sometimes, it was your life.

"One of them offered me a deal," I said, feeling guilty about the bargain with Edward I was purposefully avoiding talking about. "Tried to introduce himself and asked me to marry him in the same breath." I rolled my eyes and Alice grunted. "I turned him down."

Alice looked at me. "Good," she rasped. "They are poisonous. The whole lot of them."

The knife in my guts twisted again.

"Alice, how did you come to Oxford? How did you know I was here?"

Alice blinked hard. "I was being kept in a room. I think it might have been a hotel. We kept moving around, and I was being drugged so I had no idea when or where we were." Alice let out a breath, her head dropping to the back of the sofa. "I think someone missed a dose because I started to come to. I heard them talking about you. They were looking for you."

A chill raced down my spine. "Who was?"

Alice seemed not to have heard me. "I waited for them to leave again, and then I snuck out. I knew if I could find you first, everything would be okay."

Her hands were shaking in her lap and there were large tears in her eyes.

"Alice," I said, placing my teacup on the coffee table before scooting closer to her. "Alice, listen to me. I'm going to keep you safe, okay? But you have to tell me what is going on. Who is after me?"

Alice's wide eyes turned to face me. "I don't know," she sobbed. "But they are coming. You're not safe."

Chills erupted across my body and I shook my head. "Okay. We can't stay here. Give me five minutes. I'm going to pack us a bag, and then we are going to leave, okay? Five minutes."

Alice nodded as I stood up from the sofa. Maybe it was insane to run based on Alice's ramblings. She clearly had been through some severe trauma and wasn't making any sort of sense.

But I also knew Alice. I knew that if she was scared, even though it may seem delusional, I needed to listen.

Because Alice was usually right.

I ran to my room, wishing I'd done laundry before now. I pulled out my backpack, stuffing as many clean clothes as I could find into it. My clothes would be baggy on Alice, especially in her condition, but I had a few things that were small on me and would hold her over until we could find something more suitable.

I grabbed my passport and phone charger, debating on my laptop. In the end, I left it behind, knowing it would just weigh me down.

The only additional thing I did allow myself to take was the manuscript I'd stolen from the Sixteen vaults.

When I'd packed the clothes and toiletries we would need, I ran to the kitchen, dumping any snacks I could find at the top of the bag. I didn't know where we were going or how long we'd be gone, but I'd learned a long time ago that starvation made any situation worse.

When I was finally packed, I headed back out to the living room where Alice was still curled up on my sofa. I winced as I looked her over. She needed a shower, and probably a week's worth of rest, but we just didn't have the time.

"Come on," I said, gently reaching for her and tugging her to her feet. "We have to get going."

…

I didn't have a car in Oxford, but that didn't matter. I bought us two train tickets north, two south, two east, and two west, hoping that whoever might be following us wouldn't know which way we were going.

Maybe it would buy us a fraction of time at least.

Alice and I boarded the train going north, and as we settled in our seats, I prayed that I was making the right choice.

A small part of me was tempted once again to call Edward, but I knew that Alice would bolt if she knew the truth of the deal I'd made.

I couldn't let her run after finally getting her back again. Not when she clearly needed my help.

Alice slept most of the train ride, which was good because I could tell it had been ages since she'd gotten proper rest. I fought off my own fatigue, not wanting us to be so openly vulnerable on the train by both of us sleeping.

Hours later, we pulled into the small Scottish coastal town of Stonehaven. I woke Alice and we climbed off the train, walking the mile or so from the station into the village. It was nearly dark, and I didn't exactly have a plan, though I knew from a search on my phone there was a small inn down by the water.

It was colder up here than it had been in Oxford, and Alice and I were both shivering as we walked. "Tomorrow we'll pick up some coats," I told her as we huddled closer together. She only nodded.

We made it slowly toward the inn, and by the time we got there, both of us felt frozen through.

There was a gentle fire crackling in the hearth in the lobby, and I directed Alice to sit in front of it while I got us a room. I had just enough cash on me to pay for a few nights, but I knew if we were going to keep this up, I'd have to find a way to get more.

When I had our room key in hand, I took Alice upstairs to the small suite stocked with two twin beds and a little kitchenette. It wasn't much, but it felt far away from danger.

I set Alice up in the bathroom, instructing her to heat up under the hot spray of a shower. When she was in there, I finally let out a long breath, flopping onto my bed with a groan.

What the hell was I doing? I was suddenly on the run for no actual reason other than Alice's fears. The Alice I'd known was formidable, but this girl? She was broken, scared, hollow. She could have been running from her own shadow for all I knew.

I picked up my phone, my fingers itching over the instinct to contact Edward.

No, I couldn't do that. Not yet. Not to Alice. She deserved my blind trust after everything she'd gone through on my behalf.

I owed her at least that much.

…

The next few days were hard. Alice was too paranoid to stay in any one place longer than a night, which meant we were constantly on the move. I had to succumb to the financial pressure and take money out in Stonehaven, but as soon as I did, we headed back down south. Alice couldn't tell me much about how she spent the last few years. As far as she could remember, she woke up from the coma she'd fallen under while we were in school to find herself someone's captive. She couldn't seem to tell me who we were running from, making me second guess her mental state.

What if I was blowing through all my carefully saved money on her delusions?

A week after she first found me in Oxford, I couldn't take it anymore. I was out of money and patience, and clearly, Alice needed help greater than I could provide her.

Try as I might, I couldn't believe this was the same girl I'd known at the Academy.

"Alice," I said, my voice low as I had learned loud noises often set her off into a strange fit. "I'm out of money. We're out of options. We have to go back to Oxford."

"No," Alice barked, her voice hoarse. She was hunched over a small notebook I'd gotten her, writing as I'd often seen her do.

"Alice, we don't have another choice."

"We can't go back." Alice growled. "They will kill you, Bella."

My stomach rolled. "Who, Alice?"

Alice didn't answer me and I got up from my narrow cot, pacing the length of the barn. It had been the only place I could afford to pay for overnight, and while it was dusty, it was otherwise fairly decent.

"Alice, we need help," I said after a moment. "We need to call someone for help."

Alice shook her head. "No one can help. They are all spies."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to take a walk," I told her, grabbing my phone and stuffing it in my pocket. Alice didn't respond as I made my way down from the loft.

We were in Cornwall, shacking up in an old dairy barn, and while it was certainly interesting, it wasn't exactly my idea of a good time.

I stepped outside into the cool evening, pulling my sweater around me.

The farmer's house was a bit to the north, but if I walked south for a while, I was told I'd be able to find a path that eventually took me to the shore.

Desperate for space from Alice, I headed down the path, breathing in the salty air as I went.

The first time I'd seen the ocean was when I had initially moved to England. I'd taken a day trip to the coast before classes began and had been absolutely floored by what I saw. I didn't know anything could be so vast and terrifying, but beautiful at the same time. I'd been enchanted ever since.

I soon found the trail, and as I traveled down it, I could feel the tension starting to lift from my shoulders. I couldn't keep this up. Alice needed professional help, and I had a life to get back to.

But, a small voice niggled in the back of my head. What if she's right?

The terrifying reality was that there was indeed a chance that someone was after me to kill me. My marriage to Edward disrupted so many plans, I was certain that it was only a matter of time until someone came after me for it.

If they truly had come, I needed more help than Alice. I needed to call Edward.

The path turned, twisting around a small dune before a breathtaking view of the ocean broke before me. It was too dark to make out much, but I took a deep breath of that salty air and shut my eyes.

After a long moment, I opened them and pulled out my phone, sinking onto a stone sitting by the trail. I stared out into the ocean for a while before letting out a breath and turning my attention to my phone.

As he had done before, Edward answered on the first ring.

"What's going on?"

The fact that he didn't answer with my name told me that he was likely with people. Maybe even his parents.

"Edward, I think I'm in trouble."

There was silence over the phone before he said, "Hold on." I waited, hearing a rustling over the line before his voice finally came back. "Where are you? What sort of trouble?"

I sniffed. "Alice showed up about a week ago."

"Alice?" I could hear the genuine surprise in his voice and I let out a breath.

"Yes. She's … Well, I don't know. She's either absolutely delusional, or she's on the run from someone incredibly powerful."

Edward swore. "Are you at home?"

I shook my head even though he couldn't see me. "No. We're in Cornwall. We've been running from place to place all week. Alice thinks someone is trying to kill me."

"Dammit," Edward hissed. "Listen to me, Bella. Whatever you do, don't leave your location, okay? I'm going to come get you and we'll sort this out. Don't talk to anyone. Don't go anywhere. Just stay out of sight, okay?"

I nodded. "I'm out of money," I croaked, embarrased to admit that, especially to him. "I didn't know what to do."

"Don't worry about the money," Edward said. "Shit, I have an account for you set up. I should have told you about it sooner."

I blinked, surprised. I knew legally our marriage allowed me access to his wealth, but for some reason it never occured to me to ask about it.

"Bella, I'm tracking your location now. Tell me that you've understood me."

I'd never heard Edward sound so worried. Genuinely worried. It scared me to think of what would send him into that state. "I understand."

"I'll be there as soon as I can," Edward continued. "It'll be just under twelve hours. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, I hear you. I'll stay put. We'll stay out of sight."

Edward let out a breath. "I'm sorry, Bella. I knew this was coming eventually, but I didn't think it would be this soon."

I considered that. Now that I reflected on it, how long did I really think our marriage was going to stay secret? Eventually, Edward would have to tell someone, right?

"Is my life over?"

The thought of my old life, the one I'd worked so incredibly hard for, being suddenly out of my reach was too much. I wanted to go home to my little flat in Oxford and bury myself in a book. For once in my life, I wanted to forget about power and the maniacs in this world that wielded it.

Edward sighed. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

I flinched, dragging in my own breath. "Okay."

"I'm on my way, Bella. Just hang on, all right?"

I nodded again. "I'll see you soon."

I hung up and gathered my sweater around me tighter, staring out at the ocean. I gave myself a minute to gaze out into the dark depths before pulling myself to my feet and making my way back to the barn.

…

Alice was still writing when I got back.

"Alice," I said in greeting. I needed to tell her about Edward, explain everything that had happened and pray that somehow, she could see my side of things.

She didn't look up from her notebook and I let out a tight breath. "Alice, I need to talk to you."

There was absolutely no sign on her face that she'd heard me. I approached her cot and sat on the edge of it. Her body swayed slightly in my direction as I settled, but still she didn't stop.

"Alice." I lifted a hand, placing it over the page she was scribbling on, and she let out a sharp cry of indignation.

"I need to write," she yelled at me.

"Stop. I need you to listen to me. I have to tell you something important."

She tried to continue writing, despite my hand, and more than once I felt her pen stab me.

"Ow! Stop! Alice, I have to tell you about something. Something regarding the Sixteen!"

At my words, Alice froze, her bloodshot eyes finally landing on my face.

When I saw I had her attention, I let out a breath. "When I left the Academy, I didn't have contact with anyone. No one reached out to me and I didn't reach out to them. Not until last year." When Alice didn't interrupt, I shifted on her cot, letting her notebook go as I continued. "Do you remember Edward Cullen?"

Alice snorted and I rolled my eyes.

"Right, well he found me in Oxford and offered me a deal."

Alice's eyes narrowed. "What kind of deal?"

I turned away from her, embarrassed to be saying any of this out loud. "The entire world at my feet, if I married him."

Alice let out a bitter laugh. "A fool's bargain," she said, sounding disgusted. "What did he say when you rejected him?"

I winced, unable to look at her. I searched for the words to admit I hadn't turned him down, but Alice figured it out even with my silence.

"You married him?" she hissed.

I looked up at her to see her eyes wide and terrified. "It was a secret, a ceremony no one was supposed to know about until the time was right," I said, hoping naively that it would matter to her.

Alice launched off the cot, pacing the small space in her thick wool socks. "Bella, you married the enemy. Your life is poisoned. You're one of them." She snarled, her eyes wide and frantic.

I got up, my hands landing on her shoulders. "No, Alice. I'm not. Not yet. Yes, I married Edward, but so far, nothing in my life has changed. Not until you came barreling into it last week," I added.

Alice shook her head. "You can't see." She moaned. "You have no idea what is going on. You're blind to the bigger picture."

I frowned. "Then tell me," I urged.

Alice pulled out of my grasp, flopping down on her cot. "Bella, they've owned us our whole lives, long before the Academy," she said, her voice sullen. "But once we got to the Academy, we got on their radar. We're just pawns in their game, and you let yourself get tricked into being the sacrificial lamb." She shook her head. "They'll kill you, or worse."

Her words weren't anything I hadn't already thought before, but hearing it confirmed out loud still unsettled me.

I shook my head. "Edward will find a way to protect us," I said, my voice thin.

Alice let out a defeated laugh. "Edward is nothing more than a mascot. More powerless than anyone else, at least until his parents die." She let out a long sigh. "We're all going to die."

I moved to my cot, sinking down on it and curling my knees to my chest. I had to believe that Edward would find a way out of this for us.

Alice couldn't be right. She just couldn't be.