Naruto could swear he physically felt Sasuki's glare on him. While still blind there was no doubt in his mind it was there. His clothes felt wet, just around certain areas, just enough to be annoying. Worse still that scent was lingering, that scent that was so strong in the bedroom where she was bouncing on him. Even that pungent, bitter smoke that made his throat itch and his face contort didn't cover it properly.

They were all in her living room, sitting near the fire, or so they said.

Tsunade, as she'd introduced herself, let out a long blowy breath, making the room stink that much more, before speaking.

"So what'd they offer you kids anyway? What's my bounty at?"

"This house," was all Sasuki said, speaking softly with a voice like a taut rope.

"Bah, that's just ridiculous. Land's worth way more than the gold it'd take. So are you kids desperate, cocky, or just stupid?"

"Stupid," Sasuki saw fit to answer sharply.

The glare grew stronger. He could feel it. Quite a contrast from the aloof laughter their host replied with. A long, happy sigh filled the room before she spoke again. The good news did little to ease the room's tension.

"Well, you can at least borrow the house tell tomorrow, you don't need to be walking around in these woods at night. There's even a guest bed for you young lady," she offered. Naruto made a very dignified cry of panic as he suddenly found himself yanked by the arm again. "You can bunk with me, just to snuggle though," she said, sounding genuinely apologetic as she explained. "Head's startin to groan at me,"

"I- if you don't mind actually me and Sasuki usually uh, bunk together," he offered, feeling just a sliver of hope as she ceased her pulling.

"Oh, I do mind actually," she offered apologetically. "And I am letting you stay the night, for free, after you tried to kill me," she justified, before yanking him back into motion. With only blackness in his vision, he couldn't even look back in apology. Faster than he could think they were back in that soft bed with the heavy scent wafting over it. Even Tsunade finishing her smoke didn't drown it out. Just as assertively as before she yanked her arm around his neck, pulled him closer to get her cuddles.

The staggeringly wonderful cushion that this elder woman's melon-sized breast made filled him with guilt, but only for the few seconds it took him to nod off. He dreamed of a sea of pillows, of a soft pit where he could rest forever and everything was right. It was the most peaceful he'd felt in perhaps his entire life.

It took him a moment after opening his eyes to realize it wasn't real. It also took a moment to realize he wasn't blind anymore. Soft early morning light shone through the window, filling the small bedroom without being jarring. The smell of smoke was mostly faded, probably thanks to the crack in that window. He felt good for the half minute he failed to remember Sasuki and his impending death.

Sitting up stirred the woman he'd been using as a pillow, but he didn't look back until she snapped.

Her face seemed to flicker unnaturally. He rubbed his eyes to confirm she looked exactly as she had yesterday, plus the mussed bed hair and the more serious look in her eyes.

"Wow, the strangest thing, my back doesn't hurt, or my shins. In fact, I barely have a hangover! Would you happen to have something to do with that?"

"Uh…"

"Not a lot of human deities grant healing powers, and you're a little young to have earned any regardless…" she continued, putting a finger to her chin as if in deep thought. "And, granted I was drunk, but you know I don't usually sleep with strangers who come to my door either. You know I think you might not be human,"

Well, there were certainly worse final sights than the curvy blonde bombshell of a woman half-prone on her bed, smiling triumphantly. He knew that any second he'd be blind again, from there it'd be simple to kill him. She laughed as she pulled herself from bed.

"Come on, let's go try to talk some sense into your girlfriend," she offered, strolling out of the room without so much as brushing her hair at the vanity. By the time he pulled up his clothes and caught up she was fiddling with a kettle over her stove. Either Sasuki was already awake or this brought her there, with the bedroll she'd been using right in front of that fire it could have been either. "Take a seat, I'll make us some bacon and eggs," she offered the sleepy younger girl, smiling at her with what seemed like genuine kindness.

Sasuki didn't smile back. Her frown grew harder as they found him, and remained locked there as they both took their seats. Despite everything, hunger was a powerful factor, and both just about drooled at the scent wafting over from just a few feet away. With nothing but biscuits and salted fish on the way here, relatively fresh meat and hot eggs sounded like a goddamn king's breakfast.

"Oh wipe that mean look off your face, take it from an old woman, life's too short for monogamy. Especially if you're going to be taking jobs like this," Tsunade said sternly, looking down at the girl she'd just served a plate to.

She said nothing, but her expression softened the slightest bit as she lifted a small mug full of bitter black coffee to her mouth.

"Right what's that about anyway? Why do they call you a crone in town?"

"Because I'm in my sixties," she deadpanned, handing Naruto his plate as she answered. "I don't wear this face in town, get a lot more respect and a lot less hassle wearing the one I hunted with,"

"Magic…right…duh," he mumbled to himself.

"Well not arcana, na my powers are a little thank you present from Krishal, a reward for the thousand-odd souls I've sent to her plane,"

"Krishal…" Naruto mumbled, he'd heard the name before.

"Goddess of good times!"

"Goddess of beauty, glamor and hedonism," Sasuki clarified, not hiding the disdain in her voice, but not saying anything else as she lifted another piece of bacon to her mouth. With nothing to add Naruto joined her, taking a bite of the delightfully crisp meat. He found that he was starving, and with Tsunade generous enough to cook a full dozen eggs for just the two of them, he could feast.

It turns out she was even more generous.

"So I've given it some thought. You two can stay here whenever you want, as long as the magic man sleeps with me," she offered casually, sitting at the table with a handful of bacon held loosely in her hand. Sasuki's glare broke, she actually looked frightened for a moment, concerned for a moment. Then it all trailed back to anger.

"Did you really tell her you were an imposter?" she asked, somewhere between aghast and exhausted.

"I noticed when I woke up without the aches of old age actually. That's why your welcome back," Tsunade clarified before turning to him. "You outta be careful who you sleep with, sleep next to I should say. Keep the granny banging to a minimum," she laughed at that.

Sasuki didn't look any less angry, believe it or not.

Even so, he had to fight not to smile at his good fortune. Free lodging? More interactions with this glorious, golden-haired holy woman? Not being brutally murdered and turned in for a sizeable bounty?

This was his lucky day!

What to say to Sasuki though?

The young man would actually luck out again, as the seasoned older woman decided to cover that.

"Kid, you came up here seeking your fortune yeah? To risk your life fighting the wildlands?"

"….yes," she said, simply enough to the older woman. She looked defeated almost as they locked eyes.

"Then you might be dead next week," Tsunade said bluntly, eyes suddenly serious. "He might be dead in a week. I want to paint you a picture, six days from now you're real unlucky, you run into something you can't handle, you're bleeding out on the forest floor, you're going to die and you know it,"

Naruto opened his mouth, but couldn't find any words to interject with. Equally aghast at the grizzly picture she painted. It seemed like she had a point at least she was getting to. Besides, Sasuki wasn't objecting or anything, hell she seemed to be affected by the words, put into deeper thought.

"Are you going to be satisfied with how you left things?"

"We should go," Sasuki said simply, after a long, pregnant silence. Her plate was clean to be fair, and so was his, they'd just about inhaled the food. Tsunade said nothing to argue, though she gave a wave when he looked back. They walked in silence for five minutes on the road before Sasuki grabbed his robe and dragged him off of it, into the trees.

Naruto swallowed hard.

X

X

X

Thanks for reading!

Check my if you want input on what I write next or if you'd like to see fanart of my stories. Or search Macko Bole on the kindle store if you want more by me.