Hi, so again back with this story and I hope you enjoy it, this was one of my favourite episodes and again there was a sense it was rushed. There were so many missing scenes that I simply decided to...add...them.

Hope you enjoy.

For once this is mostly cannon...

Usual warnings on spelling/grammar apply if you've read my works before you'll know.

Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.

Please Read and Review.

Something Bad Happened

Chapter 10-Moving Towards The Light

With the guy who shot his brother behind bars there is nothing for Danny to do but sit there and contemplate what his life looks like if he loses Jamie. Maria tries to help him through it. Meanwhile Frank is not coping.

Maria Baez liked to think she was fluent in about four languages, English, Spanish, French (ish) and Danny Reagan.

The last one was a bit off kilter she knew but she was fluent in it nonetheless. Danny when she had met him, had, had a bit of a reputation. He had flown through partners the only one lasting was Jackie and she had bailed out due to stress. Not that Maria blamed the woman. Burn out was a high thing in this job and that had been before the pandemic. Afterwards…well…when the bodies had piled high even she had to admit that there was a part of her that had begun to re-evaluate her priorities.

And she had a daughter now.

Danny had been the famous son of the commissioner known to not obey rules and to wear his cases on his sleeve. He had also been happily married and attractive and Maria had done her dance with the married man once before and she was not looking to go down that road again. She had learnt her lesson as a stupid girl in her twenties that the man never left his wife and she had not looked for a repeat in her thirties. As it was she buckled down, got on with the job and that was that.

But she had known the history going in. Maria had been on the job when Joe Reagan had been killed, she'd gone to the funeral and slipped in the back with all the other cops who had wanted to support their boss. Danny…Danny didn't talk about his brother in the same way she didn't talk about hers.

But Jamie she had known from the off. Jamie with his big blue eyes and his boyish smile and look…Maria was only human…there had been a part of her that had wondered once for ten seconds if maybe she should take Jamie Reagan with his boyish smile and his big blue eyes back to her place, trap him between her thighs and teach him the wicked ways about woman but then she had moved on like a professional. To be honest she had found herself more fond of his partner. Vinny had been a horrendous flirt and she had enjoyed his attention. And the truth was when Jamie had met Eddie it was literally like when Hary had met Sally. There was no looking back for either one of them.

Seriously…when Danny had rang her to tell her that his little brother was engaged Maria had sent him the link to the pink champagne that she liked because as far as she was concerned she had won the bet.

Jamie and Danny loved each other that much was plain to see. Maria had seen that at the wedding, they loved each other but smack bang in the middle of it was the ghost of their brother. She had heard enough to know that Jamie and Joe had been closer than Danny and Jamie. That they had once gotten into a knock down drag out in the locker rooms over it because Jamie had shouted that he knew he was never going to be good enough for Danny and that Joe had known it too. Whenever they got the Officer Down call it was Jamie that called Danny before his brother could panic and when that abuser had targeted Jamie and set the car on fire all those years ago she had seen the look on Danny's face when he had gotten to the hospital and nobody had any news on Jamie.

She knew Danny when he was afraid and she knew when he was grieving and she had seen both too often on his face. She knew her partner like the back of her hand because that was her job and also because he was her friend and her crush (though she shouldn't say the last one even if it was to herself) and right now as she sat on the cold hard chairs of a hospital waiting room she knew the look of Danny Reagan on the brink and she knew that he was dying with every second that his brother was. Maria was not stupid. She knew what it was when a Doctor asked a cop's family if they wanted a priest.

Eddie was sat like a stone statue not looking, not speaking, not moving she didn't react or seem to see anyone or anything other than the door that was keeping her from her husband. If it wasn't for Henry Reagan sat next to her keeping her hand safely enclosed in his own Maria thought that she might have gone for the door by now.

The Commissioner was gone. She didn't know where he was but Danny was getting angsty. She could see it and…

"Come on" she said quietly.

Danny shot her a look.

"What?"

"Outside" she said. "Please Danny"

He looked at her eyes wide and impossibly childlike but he follows her without looking back. She can see it written in his face how close he is to breaking and she sighs. Cops mill around everywhere but she manages to get him into the alley near the hospital.

"Maria I don't—"

"You wanna break?"

He looks at her a little desperately. "No"

"Danny—"

"No I don't I…" he shakes his head but she can see it in his eyes. She can see what is bothering him.

Like she said before she is fluent in the language that is Danny Reagan.

"This isn't your fault" she says but this time again he is already shaking his head.

"Yes" he said with a heaviness she doesn't understand. "It is"

Maria doesn't get it.

It sounds horrendously cavalier but she doesn't. Danny has been the thing connecting tragedy in his family and beyond for a very long time.

He pushes past her but doesn't go back into the hospital. Instead he sits on the low wall and stares out into the parking lot. He remembers it like it was yesterday. In his nightmares it still is.

"What?" she asks and it takes him a moment to realise that he has said that last bit out loud.

There was a pause and then…

"Joe. They pronounced him here"

Maria's eyes widened.

"Oh God"

"It didn't matter" Danny said quietly. "The shitbag that got him did the job right, he was dead before he hit the ground. Like Vinny. He…there was nothing that anyone could do, it was a kill shot so…" he trailed off shaking his head and Maria blinked.

"Javi was a kill shot too" she said flatly.

Danny groaned. He had forgotten…fuck.

"Sorry"

"No don't be" she said easily. "I get it I…" she shook her head again.

"I don't" she said again. "Javi was hard enough I don't know what I would have done if I'd had the world's eyes on me looking to see how I was grieving and—" but she had hit too close to the nerve and suddenly he couldn't stop himself.

"He's a lawyer" he said and there was an uptick in panic in his voice. "He's a lawyer Maria. He wasn't…he wasn't supposed to be a cop. He never wanted to be one before Joe. He…he did it because we lost Joe and he wanted to…it was like the Towers with me you know and joining the Marines. He wanted to do something and give back and…and it's…it's landed him here. He said once to me that he knew he could never do anything to get my respect and…" he looked at her and the fear that he had never said not even to his wife suddenly spilled out.

It was too raw, too wild, too open…he felt like an oyster that had been dragged out of the harbour, split open and then thrown back his insides out and squirming and she looked at him with an expression he didn't know how to even begin to understand.

But she was Maria. She was his partner, she wasn't family and right now he didn't need family. He needed someone who might understand what was going on through his head and he didn't need his father or his grandfather or his sister who would tell him things that he didn't want to hear.

He needed to blame him, to hit him, to claw out his insides and then…and then if someone came out and told him what he was praying against then he would need someone to pick him up and that…she was all he had.

"He told me once that he and Joe used to talk about how they could never get my respect. No matter what calls they did or what collars Joe took or however many A's Jamie got on tests he felt like there was nothing that he or Joe could do to make it in my eyes. And both of my brother went undercover. Jamie nearly died too…Joe did and I…and I have to wonder if it was me" he said and this time he knew that she had understood.

"Me" he said again just in case she hadn't. "Me…Maria…what if it's me…what if I am the reason why they take those risks because they wanted to both prove themselves to me" he shook his head and trailed off because the truth was that Joe had died trying to prove himself and Jamie was now…

And if he lost both of them…

What did he have? His sons…and then…what?

"No" Maria said and then she did something she had never done before. As if sensing that he was going to argue and or get up she flipped herself with her legs so they were both over his and she was half straddling his lap. It had been…a very, very long time since he'd had a woman in his lap but Maria was holding his jaw as if she wanted to break it which dimmed the arousal somewhat. Christ when this was over he needed to figure out what was going on here he really did.

"This" Maria said firmly. "Is not your fault. The only person responsible for what happened to both of your brothers are the people who shot them. If you love them…then you have to do what I did and allow them the dignity of a choice"

"But Jamie said—"

"Jamie says things when he was angry. So have I…when you saw me and Javi—" he watched her throat constrict for a second. "Did you think that I didn't love him even at the end…you love Jamie and you loved Joe and they both know that, knew that, whatever…they both knew that it came from a place of love. You are not at fault for this and I don't care if I have to beat it into you I am going to make sure that you get that"

For a second Danny looked at her and then he shuddered. He didn't know what it was. Excess emotion more than likely but he couldn't help it.

"I didn't have to bring him" he said finally.

"No" Maria conceded. "But it could have been Joe's son that was shot, it could have been me or you or anyone, Jaime could have been shot this morning getting coffee or ran over by a bus…we all know the price that we pay when it comes to putting on the uniform. It comes with the job. We accept that this is how it could end sometimes. And we move on"

She watched him for a second and then flipped back off him so that they were sat on the stone bench.

"Maria if he dies…"

"Danny…if you go down that road you are going to drive yourself mad. Take it from me I watched my mother do it for a long time. You cannot…you cannot allow yourself to think like that"

He swallowed.

"I love him Maria"

"I know"

"Do you think—"

"He knows it too Danny" she said guessing without hesitation what it was that he was struggling to say.

For all the world he wanted to drop his head on her shoulder and rest it there, he was too tired to pretend anymore. More than anything he wanted to go to bed and sleep away this nightmare day until there was nothing left and it was all just a bad memory. But before he could Sean was there. He looked between the two of them and raised an eyebrow in a way that told Danny he was going to have to talk to his son later but mercifully he said nothing.

"Dad…Aunt Erin wants you to come back in"

"Jamie?"

"No…nothing yet. I…she says it's Grandpa. Apparently he's in the chapel and she has a bad feeling"

It took Danny a minute to respond. God help him his initial reaction was to snap but then again…Sean was just the messenger. And if Erin was calling him then it must be bad. Joe bad.

"Alright" he said quietly. "Give me a moment and then I'll come in"

And Sean mercifully did.

Maria was still holding his hand.

And Danny still didn't know what that meant.

And there you are, two more to go.

Next Chapter-The Penultimate Chapter-Frank, Eddie and his son and the moment Jamie decides if he is going to live or die.