A/N: This fanfic takes place in my Venom storyline, meaning I won't use well known MCU characters. Though I might use a few X-men and some villains like Taskmaster or Doctor Doom.
At A Harbor Cargo shipment
Deadpool narrates: Hey fellow readers! You guys were probably pissed at Marvel Studios for canceling what could've been the company's greatest masterpiece: Deadpool The Animated Series.
DC Universe stole my spotlight by making a show about some clown girl! Fucking asshats can't do shit with live-action movies so they stole my chance to be even more famous than Spider-Man. Fucking Spider-Man!
Voice 1: Well, you weren't going to be more popular than Spider-Man, he's been Marvel's fan favorite for over sixty years
Voice 2: But fans like us more than Spider-Man now. Since 2016! Say, being at a harbor is kind of like the trailer of our canceled series…
Deadpool thinks: Yeah, both of the voices in my head make a rock-hard point. Anyway, you're probably more interested in wondering why I'm at a harbor late at night. Well, there's someone I need to kill. For those of you who aren't honorable fans of yours truly I'll explain:
Name's Deadpool. Also known as the merc with the mouth. Merc means mercenary and mouth means I run my mouth for hours.
A group of men in black suits were securing the area. Then Deadpool used his stealth to sneak past the guards—
"Yoo-Hoo!" The lead character yelled while lying on top of a van like a mermaid. Dude, I thought you were going to stick to my plot!
"Like hell I was! You started the story so boring. If you're gonna write a fanfic about me then try to understand my thinking hmm?"
Deadpool front flips across metal cargo while shooting goons' heads off. Impressive. Then he sneaks behind one goon and as he is crouched down, the mercenary hits his gun against the goon's manhood. Said goon yelps in pain, then Deadpool shoves a handmade grenade into his mouth. "I've never said this before but don't swallow". The merc kicks the goon to the others and the grenade in his mouth explodes, killing the last few goons. Deadpool pulls out his katanas and leaps toward a tall man-like gorilla. As he was about to strike, the gorilla swats him straight to a crate. Deadpool turns flat like paper. As he falls to the ground still flat (imagine this as a 2D cartoon okay?) he lifts his head to see the Gorilla man crick his neck. The merc stands up and looks annoyed. He reverts to his normal (still 2D cartoon) self while saying "I PROMISE THIS GETS WORSE FOR YOU BIG BOY!" He threatens as he attacks his opponent. The latter dismembers Deadpool's left arm. He looks at his armless shoulder with disbelief, then is enraged. "THAT DOES IT!"
He throws his katana straight at the gorilla hybrid's chest. The animal growls in pain. Then Deadpool cartwheels and kicks the gorilla up the chin. He kicked so hard that the gorilla was up in the air high enough for the helicopter blades to slice his head off. Surprisingly, that caused it to explode and Deadpool was falling off with no limbs. "Ah, I'm touching myself tonight".
Hours later, Deadpool was in a taxi. His limbs were halfway done regenerating. "So, I'm gonna make this fucking clear. Some of you expected this fanfic to be set in the comics but it's set in the universe of the Sony fuckers because the author has an unhealthy obsession with a queer version of the Superman and Lois Lane trope. As in, she's so into the gays that I wouldn't be surprised if she was excited to pair me with a male character. Nothing wrong with that, or she just wants an excuse to add as many OCs as she wants. Why doesn't she just write an original novel if she wants OCs that badly?".
"Uh DP?" An Indian man driving the Taxi spoke. "Any luck with finding the cat bear?"
"Nah, but I got an idea of where to search. There's a gang of sorts. Gonna 'ask' them for a password".
Dopinder (cab driver) just nodded.
Deadpool was finally done regenerating and headed to a house in a hoodrat town. There, he walked inside a house while ignoring the stares of people who hadn't seen a masked mercenary walking across their street before.
He opened the door while dramatically announcing. "OLD HONEY! I'M HOME!" To an elderly lady. He unbuckled his pouch belt and katanas then went to the kitchen.
"You came back earlier than usual, you still smell like rotten meat", the elderly lady said, with sunglasses on and knitting.
"Nice to see you too Blind Al", the mercenary said as he went to his room to change into sweatpants and a hoodie. "You cooked pancakes today?"
"You say that as if I'm your mama. Cook it yourself man-boy".
And he did, about fifty of them. Blind Al may have been blind but knew Deadpool well. "You're buying flour and cooking oil next time".
"Love you too!" He remarked sarcastically.
"What do you mean our shipment was delayed?!" A man barked with rage.
The goon in a skull mask kept stammering. "I-it wasn't our fault sir! It was some psycho in a mask".
"You're telling me that a superhero killed most of my men and my Gorilla?!"
"Was it a white masked girl with spider powers?" The shadowed figure glared.
"N-no, it was a man in a red and black costume, he killed everyone with two swords and guns".
"So does this guy have clone powers?"
"No, it was just him".
A/N: Thank you for reading! Please review if you have time. Embarrassing note: I haven't watched the Deadpool and Wolverine movie.