Lincoln was on the phone doing something he did weekly... checking in with his parents in the living room. He wasn't certain how they never caught them in the act, but he was happy to still have them.

"I know it can't be easy helping your sisters watch their children," his mother noted on the other side of the phone, "But we all appreciate what you do."

"I know mom, but really, I'm happy to do it."

"Those kids really love their uncle Lincoln," he could practically feel her smile on the other side of their conversation.

"Yeah, they're all great kids. Plus it's nice for Robert and Reina to have their cousins so close."

His mother was silent for a moment, "Have you started going to therapy?"

Lincoln sighed and rubbed the back of his head, "Mom... not this again."

"Lincoln, it would do you some good. Besides, you could always go see Dr. McBride."

He rolled his eyes, "I don't know if seeing my best friend in a Doctor Patient setting would be the best idea."

"But you need to see some one."

"Mom, I'm fine," he groaned, "Jeez, I'm 34, it was a decade ago."

There was more silence, "Leni... She told me and your dad about the nightmares."

"Dammit, Leni," He grumbled under his breath, "Seriously mom, I got my sisters, Ronnie, and Stella. Not to mention all the kids," he could hear her exhale, "Mom, I'll deal with it my way. I always have."

He was happy that she was worried about him. Talking to her and his father made him feel at ease. Knowing that he still had them, even after what all him and his siblings had done regardless of-

"Gah!" Lincoln gasped as he felt teeth gently sink into his earlobe.

"Lincoln? Are you okay?!"

"I-I'm fine" He lied as he tried to swat away the offender.

Only one person would be bold enough to do something like that, "Hi mom! Linc's not, 'chewing your ear off,' is he?"

"Oh! Hi Luan! You're off from the restaurant today?"

"Yep," she said excitedly as she pinched his ass causing him to yelp, "Only day off this week, sometimes it's a real, 'pain in the ass.'"

"Luan, stop!" Lincoln growled in a whisper.

"Stop what? Luan, are you harassing your brother?"

"I don't know," she said before giving him a furtive glance as she gripped him even harder, "Would you count this as har'ass'ment, little brother?"

"S-she just shocked me with one of those gum things," he grabbed her hand and glared at her, "You know her and her pranks."

She licked her lips and reached around him with the other hand, stroking his crotch through his jeans, "Awe, c'mon Linc, you know how I love to give you a, 'hard time.'"

"Quit teasing your brother, Luan," her mother demanded.

"Am I, 'teasing,' you lil' bro?" she grinned, leaning in, as she stroked him.

"Yes," he shot back as he tried to grab her other hand with the same hand, inadvertently wrapping the first hand around him too.

"Oh! Linc!" she giggled.

"What are you two doing?" Rita demanded.

"She's just messing with me mom!"

"What a mess it is, too," she laughed.

"Mom, I have to go," he sighed, "I love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart. Luan, don't mess with your brother too much. You know you need his help with Liby."

"Oh, he's helped me plenty with my Liby," She assured, "Especially with her-"

"Bye mom!" He shouted as he hung up.

"Homework," Luan grinned evilly.

"What the hell, Luan?!" He shouted, "We aren't teenagers anymore!"

"Oh lighten up, Linc," she kissed him, "I'm just teasing you." She straddled him, "Want Big Sis to make it better?"

He rolled his eyes, "Fucks sake, Luan..."

"My thoughts exactly!" She pushed him onto the couch and began pulling her shirt off.

He sighed, realizing he was in the mouth of the beast yet again.

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Lincoln had learned many things about his sisters since beginning their affair. Lucy was a bit of a brat, even if she was a romantic, demanding his full attention when they were together and doing anything to have it. Luna was a bit shy in romance, usually liking to be led around by him and Sam, something he hadn't really expected given her lifestyle and outgoing nature. Lynn was intense, no surprise there, but easily tamed, big surprise there. Leni was... well Leni. But the one that surprised him the most was Luan. Luan was a massive pervert and loved playing fast and loose with their lives. He knew he was in trouble any time they weren't alone. He was currently in the kitchen assisting her with baking... her and his father.

She didn't even know why she did the things she did. It was dumb. It was dangerous. It was exhilarating. She always loved drawing emotions out of people, she just always thought her favorite was humor... but this might have taken the prize. Sure, she always got an earful for her efforts, Lucy and Lynn worst of all, but how could she stop when it felt so good, so freeing, so right? Plus, he looked so cute when his face flushed. Her days were usually spent doing remedial tasks with her younger brother, just basking in each other's presence like a newlywed couple, or testing new material on him, but when the mood took her, such as it had today, she was insatiable. Lincoln was calmly kneading pie crust dough, prepping it for rolling out. Not another of Luan's prank pies, but a couple cherry pies for the family to share. He really should have been on the defensive when Luan bribed Leni with the first slice to turn him over to her early.

She would glance up to see her father turned away before she would make her move, gentle brushing of the skin to announce her intention, hand on hand with a sly smile, "L-Luan," he whispered, "D-dad's right there."

Lynn Senior was blissfully unaware of his surroundings at the best of times, downright scatterbrained at the worst, Leni had to get it from somewhere she supposed, she leaned into his ear so he could feel her breathing, "Scared, Lil' bro?"

"Luan, this isn't funny!"

"You two doing alright back there? I need that dough for the next crust! Make sure to knead it until it's soft!"

Luan grinned, "You heard him," She brought Lincoln's hand to her ass and made him grip lightly, "Nice and soft, 'dough,' right?"

He gulped as his face gained a slight pink tint, "Y-yeah, it's soft alright..."

"Good!" his father nodded as he turned, Luan managed to quickly remove Lincoln's hand and deftly place both back on the dough as he completed his turn, "In that case roll it flat and put it in the tin over there."

Lincoln grabbed the dough and jumped over to the pie tin away from his sister who began giggling, "R-right!"

His father grabbed the remaining dough and began rolling it between his hands to start a lattice for the pie top, "You know son, I'm happy you've taken an interest in cooking."

"Yeah, it's totally cooking he's interested in," Luan teased earning a glare from her brother.

"Well, cooking, baking, it's all edible," her father noted.

"He does love a good, 'oven,'" she joked as she approached him, he scooted a little away from her.

"Seriously," he whispered, only to receive a furtive glance.

"Luana Banana, can you slide one of these in the oven for me?"

"Sure dad!" she hopped over to his father giving Lincoln space to breathe for the moment.

His hands were shaking. He knew he should've been used to all of his sisters teasing at this point, but Luan had a habit of playing fast and loose at any given opportunity. He was certain he wasn't safe, but he wasn't expecting her to wrap her legs around him and practically drag him so his hip was between her legs as she gently rubbed her ass against him.

"C-Come on Luan," he whispered.

"What's wrong Linc? I thought you liked my legs," she whispered back.

"W-well yeah... I mean... I..." his face was as red as the cherry filling in the pie Luan was holding as he saw her skirt pulling up slightly due to the friction of his jeans, revealing the slightest hint of her panties to him, "L-Luan!"

"What's wrong kids?" Their father asked as he turned around.

She straightened up just as fast as he turned, Lincoln quickly turned away, "Nothing! just working on the pie."

His eyebrow cocked as he noticed his son's flushed cheeks, "Lincoln, are you okay?"

"Y-yeah! The smell's just getting to me," he lied as he turned his head as Luan suppressed her laughter.

"Is that a good getting to you or a bad getting to you?"

"Yeah link, which one?" Luan prodded with a grin.

He glared at her, "I-I don't know, both?"

"Oh?... Is it because it's cherry?"

"Yeah Linc, don't you like my, 'cherry pie?'" she joked, biting her tongue to stifle her laughter.

"Luan!"

"What? I thought Luan's cherry pie was one of your favorite!" Lynn tilted his head, "are you feeling okay, son?"

"I-I mean... I love Luan's cherry pie."

"Awe! That's sweet," She wrapped her arms around him and narrowed her eyes, "Maybe I should let you eat the whole thing."

He tried to swallow spit that his mouth wasn't producing, "I-I..."

"But then you wouldn't have any pie for yourself, Luan."

She chuckled, "That's fine with me, I much prefer cream pies."

"Oh God!" Lincoln palmed his face in disbelief as Luan snorted.

He thought he was over the embarrassment after the weekend trip to Ronnie's, but Luan really knew how to get under his skin, and the fear he had around her sometimes was very real. She was pulling him into her pace, regardless of how little he wanted to play her game of chicken.

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Liby was an intelligent girl. Lincoln had often read science fiction and detective novels to her when she was much younger and she had never lost her taste for a good mystery or puzzle. Almost every one of Lizy's monsters was uncovered by her mother, her father, or Liby. Every urban legend she came across would eventually be disproven by her. Every missing item had a home it had found itself in. It seemed she was destined for investigation, either as a detective, an analyst, or even a surveyor. But every Holmes needs a Watson, and she had found hers in her father's and aunt's best friend's child, Connor McBride. Their personalities were almost complete opposites, with Liby inheriting her mother's sense of humor, a portion of her father's guile, and a disbelief in all things paranormal and Connor being heavily influenced by his mother Haiku's paranormal hobbies, having no understanding of humor outside of obvious jokes, and having the subtlety of an atom bomb, they were all the same inseparable friends much to her father's delight. She was smart enough to see that he was just happy she had a strong connection outside of the family, possibly hoping that she wouldn't follow in his footsteps like her brother and sisters seemed doomed to by her deduction.

She was the one who found out about her family circumstances first, of course. She was the one who had revealed the secret to her then cousins now siblings. She was also the one who started the pact to protect their father, against Lupa's then protests. Lupa had thanked her in private several times for that, but she did it mainly for him... the only father she had ever known. Every family has skeletons in their closet, hers just happened to be intertwined. Thus, the only lie that she ever told Connor continued indefinitely. But he was often at their house, if only to pester Liby with the latest rumors on her Aunt Lucy regarding a missing pet case.

Connor was a little shorter than Liby who had inherited her mother's longer legs. He was light skinned with styled curly hair, shorter on the side and combed forward, and black rimmed glasses. He was wearing one of his favorite ARGGH! Shirts under a hoodie that had a little grey alien head over the right chest.

"Connor, I've lived with the woman my entire life," Liby rolled her eyes, "I promise you, the only animal she ever sacrificed, for any reason, was a turkey that we bought, prekilled, to the oven for thanksgiving."

"How do you sacrifice a turkey to an oven?" he scratched his chin, "And isn't thanksgiving a federal holiday? I don't think you have to sacrifice anything to it..."

She rubbed both of her temples, "Connor, I'm buying a, 'how to,' book for you to understand sarcasm."

"I understand sarcasm!"

They entered the downstairs living room where her father was changing the channels on the TV, looking for anything interesting to watch as he had a moment of peace thanks to Connor's presence, "Rerun... news... bad adaptation... Oh, hey kids."

"Hey Uncle Lincoln," both said in unison as he leaned back against the couch.

They both circled to the front of the couch as he crossed his legs and stretched, "What you two up to?"

"Looking for Aunt Lucy," Liby stated, "Connor seems to think she sacrificed a goat that went missing."

"In Detroit?"

"There's been a trend of getting farm animals as pets lately," she sighed.

"Again?"

She crossed her arms, "You know how trends are, they're cyclical."

"Well, I can assure you your aunt hasn't sacrificed any goats. The only thing she's sacrificed is the whites and yolks of eggs to the stove for breakfast."

"Couldn't she have just cooked the eggs and ate those?" Connor asked.

Lincoln couldn't help but smile as his daughter palmed her face, "Connor... that's what he meant."

"Oh..." he crossed his arms, "Well that's not a sacrifice."

"Hey kids!" A voice behind Lincoln caused the hair on his and Liby's neck to stand up, "Hey Linc..."

"Mom, Uh... Connor we should probably go," Liby motioned him, "Got a goat to find an all that..."

"Wait! Maybe your mom can help you see reason."

"Oh?" Luan smiled as she placed hands on Lincolns shoulders, "Yeah, I'm pretty reasonable," One of her arms wrapped around him as the other started sliding down his back causing him to freeze, "Right Linc?"

"Yeah," He growled, "Reasonable..."

"About as reasonable as a bull with his nuts in a vice," Liby mumbled, "Connor! I really think we should go!"

"Just a sec, Lib. Aunt Luan, has Aunt Lucy ever sacrificed anything?"

"You bet," Luan grinned, "Kids, all the time... isn't that right Linc."

"What?!" all three of them said in unity.

"Yep," She got eye level with Lincoln as she slid her hands lower to his leg, "Unborn ones, swallows them whole."

Lincoln and Liby's face both got red when they realized what she was talking about, Connor's got paler, "U-unborn children?"

"Luan!" "Mom!"

She giggled, "What?! She looks so happy when she does it too," she licked her lips, "Matter of fact, I wouldn't mind partaking myself."

"What?!" Connor screamed in horror.

"She's messing with you, Connor!" Liby screamed as she tried to shake her embarrassment off, "Just ignore her!"

"W-what kind of spell involves unborn children?!"

"Oh, many different, 'spells,'" Luan grinned, "Most of which involve marks that her, 'catalyst,' has to hide for weeks, isn't' that right Linc?"

"Luan?!" "For God's sake mom..." Liby was covering her face with her hand, trying to hide his blush.

"You could say we're all under a spell of hers, even right now."

Connor was frozen with fear. He knew about his mom and Lucy dabbling in the dark arts, but he hadn't known how far it had come. How many had she killed? Was Liby one of them? What of the goat? What sort of evil spells had she cast using the blood of-

"Hey Linc!" Lana exclaimed as she ran into the living room, goat bucking in a headlock, "I found a new pet!"

Connor was frozen, staring at the goat, then back to Liby, who was studying the picture, then back to the goat, "B-but..."

"Case closed!" Liby exclaimed with a grin.

"W-what about the kids?!"

"Oh, they were all just Lincoln's-"

"CASE CLOSED!" Liby exclaimed again as she pushed Connor out of the room and grabbed the goat's leash.

"Hey!" Lana exclaimed before following her niece.

"B-But what did your aunt Lucy eat?!"

"CLOSED!" she repeated.

Luan kept her composure for a few seconds after they heard the front door close and the end of Lana's protests before she burst out laughing, "That kid is way to easy, right Linc?" She turned to her brother, glaring at her in discontent, "Oh come on, Linc! I was just kidding," He didn't budge, "Oh, don't tell me your still mad over the phone thing!" Didn't even blink, "What, am I not allowed to have any fun?!"

He stood up, still staring at her, "Only at your own risk."

She laughed nervously before before trying to sprint away, she didn't even get as far as the doorway before he had overtaken her and thrown her over his shoulder, "Damn your hunky athletic build!"

"Mhmm," he coldly grunted before he began walking towards the stairs.

"Oh, come on! I was just kidding!" the only response was a smack on her ass causing her to yelp as he made his way up the stairs, "Lincoln! It was only a little teasing!"

Another swift smack, "Let's see, a 15 minute phone call interruption with mom, display of affection in front of one of the kids, not to mention in front of someone else's kid, I'd say that's a half hour."

"30 minutes?!" she gasped, "L-Linc, come on now! I-I'm getting a little to old for that much-"

"Shoulda thought about that before you started," He smacked her ass again.

"Lincoln Loud! You will stop this instant!"

"Because that's worked for you before?"

She was silent for a moment, "C-can't blame a girl for trying, right? C-can you at least be gentle."

"Not a chance," He grinned, "I thought you liked giving me a, 'hard time.'"

Her protests became more frantic the more floors they climbed until they reached his room where the soundproof walls drowned them out as the door closed and he flung her on the bed.

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"Mmm, that's the spot, Linc," Luan purred as her brother gently lapped at her clitoris as she ran her hands through her curly hair, wearing only her scrunchie on her wrist.

The day had gone by now, and she felt she had earned a little relaxation treatment from her little brother, and that he had earned it for putting up with her. She abstained the night prior after the pie incident, finding it funny to deny him after her little tease in the kitchen. She knew it would soon be time to hand him over to Lucy and she had been building up to this all day. Gentle rubbing of his crotch with her foot, sitting across from him at every meal. Little teasing flashes of skin on the stairs at home and at school, even the situation when he was studying with his friends in the Library.

"I don't even understand what the hell we even need algebra for!" Lincoln complained as he threw his pencil down.

"It's mostly for geometry and calculations for physics," Clyde answered as he chewed on the eraser of his pencil.

"Also for some things in engineering," Stella noted as she flipped through the pages of her book, having finished her homework long ago.

"I hate numbers!" Kara complained as she dragged her face against the paper in protest.

"Ditto, how is this junk supposed to help me become a comic book artist anyway?"

They sat like this for a moment, contemplating the mysteries of life and x before Lincoln's shrieking grabbed their attention, Luan standing behind him.

"Hey guys, what're you all doing here?"

"Math homework," Stella answered.

"Gee Linc, you usually only shout like that when Lucy appears behind you, you alright?"

He couldn't glare at Luan, realizing that would give away that she had done something and he wasn't willing to rat her our for pinching his nipple from behind while everyone was focusing on their papers, so he just chuckled nervously and said, "Algebra was distracting me..."

Clyde nodded, seemingly accepting his answer, "Understandable."

"Ooo, Algebra," Luan pulled up a chair between Lincoln and Clyde, "Algebra's not that bad."

"It's killing us," Kara complained as she attempted to pry her forehead from the paper.

"Just wait tell you get to Trig and calculus," Luan grinned as Kara stared at her in disbelief.

"They make harder math?! What idiot decided math needed to be harder than algebra?!"

"Oh relax, here, I'll show you a couple tricks," She leaned forward after pulling both papers forward, pulling the twos focus to the center of the table and Lincoln jumped as she leaned forward.

To the untrained eye it appeared as if she was utilizing her brother's thigh for leverage as she leaned forward, in reality she had seen the outline of her true target after she pinched his nipple, "Now the first thing you want to do is isolate one side by canceling out here and here, get rid of the, 'soft math,' so you can focus on the 'hard.'"

Lincoln knew she was doing it on purpose, but he couldn't just call her out. He could feel as her hand gently pulsed on his member as she explained.

"Now, you have X alone, so you just have to solve that problem," she noted.

"Thank God!" Kara sighed.

"But what about this one here? Where it has two separate letters?" Clyde asked.

"Oh, well you just have to find out how they relate! Once you, 'slide,' all the numbers over," She gently slid her hand over his shaft up to the tip of his penis, "You just have to figure out what number each problem has in common."

"Any tips on how to do that?"

She began circling Lincoln's lower head with her thumb as she glanced back at him, "Oh, I have a great, 'tip.'"

"Quit teasing!" Kara demanded, causing Luan to choke on a laugh and Lincoln to jump, "I've been stuck on this damn problem for 10 minutes! I'm about to explode here!"

"You aren't the only one," Luan grinned back at Lincoln who had gripped her hand as hard as he could with his hands still mainly at his sides, "Let's look here, (23)4x= 5-2Y," she gently ran her thumb over the place where she felt some moisture, "23 equals 5 so you can cancel out the minus 5 immediately," She ran her index finger on bottom side of his penis up against where his tip and shaft met, "so your stuck with 4x=2y," She rubbed her palm up against his shaft as she continued the other two actions and he dug his finger's into her wrist, desperately trying to stop himself from ruining his pants, "so put simply X=Y/2 because 4 is 2 doubled."

"Wow," Clyde gasped, "that's so much easier than how they taught us!"

"Told you so," Stella noted as she flipped the page.

"Are you an angel?" Kara asked, her eyes sparkling.

Luan turned to Linc, "I don't know, am I an angel, Linc?"

She had him at a loss. She had stopped stroking him as she sat up, leaving him rock hard with no assistance, and judging by that smile she had no intention of offering any. He gritted his teeth and nodded.

"A regular Saint," he growled.

"Awe, I knew you loved your big sister," She teased, licking the finger she had rubbed in his precum.

"Linc, you didn't fill in those problems," Clyde pointed out, "Weren't you paying attention?"

She grinned as Clyde unknowingly set her up, "What's wrong Lil bro? Didn't find anything, 'too hard,' did you?" He stared at her blankly after the joke, unable to react in anyway that wouldn't earn him more questions as the bell rang, "Oh! Got to go, see you at home, Linc."

She sauntered off proud of herself as the younger teens collected their books, all except for one, "Linc?" Stella called to him, breaking him from his stupor as he stayed seated, "You coming?"

"Yeah! I just... uh... need a second..."

Clyde studied his friends blank face, "What's wrong?"

"My uh... legs asleep... you guys go ahead."

"Whatever dude, I need to ice my head," Kara complained as they fell in behind her leaving him to himself.

15 minutes it took him to calm down. He was late for his bus. He had to walk home. Yet here he was... dutifully licking his sister. Rewarding her for her efforts. It hadn't stopped there either. Sliding her hands down the back of his pants while telling jokes to their father and mother. Ambushing him around public corners to makeout, even flashing him outside on the swing. It was almost as if she had no shame, so he had to feel twice as much for the both of them. He felt something he rarely felt toward his sisters, something that seldomn ended well for him, but something that was unavoidable. In that moment Lincoln was angry. She had made a fool out of and otherwise endangered the both of them nearly all day, and he wasn't going to let Lynn and Lucy deal with it this time.

He felt as she ran her fingers through his hair as her back arched, "Oh... Linc..."

He knew that in a few seconds her legs would wrap around the back of his neck briefly as his sister quaked and gushed, and he had an idea. As she buckled he grabbed both of her arms. She wanted pleasure? Fine. He was going to give her every ounce of what she deserved.

"L-Linc?! I already finished! Y-You can-"

She was cut off choking on her own gasp as he buried his face back into her wetness again. He began violating her with his tongue as she tried to push away, gasping as he continued to tease her.

"L-Linc! Please! WAIT!"

Her pleas fell on deaf ears as he managed to force both her wrists into one hand and gripped her nipple as she had done to him, gently pinching, twisting, and tweaking it as she thrashed.

"N-NO NOT THAT!"

She was gasping for air as he began sucking and abusing her clit with his tongue. She was kicking him in the back, and through his anger he could see as tears and drool were streaming down her face. How long had he spent in the Library again? 15? That seemed like a fair number to count to before he let her go. But, he was trying to focus here, and she was being loud, it wasn't his fault that he kept losing count at 13 and having to start over.

"I-I'M GONNA DIE!"

She was shaking and flopping, attempting to do anything to dislodge herself from her brother.

"P-PLEASE!"

With a final loud pop he released his hold on her. By his clock it had been roughly 10 minutes since he had started. Lincoln looked over his work with pride. Luan was gasping and quaking involuntarily, her eyes were red, tears and drool were streaming off her face. Her entire body was completely flushed and she was shaking. She was babbling. She was... smiling. Lincoln stared in disbelief as a realization he had had dawned on him again, Luan was a pervert, then he looked down at his manhood realizing how hard he had gotten and realized that he might be one too.

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20 some odd years later and he was here again, his older sister face down in the pillow, eyes half rolled in her head, gripping it with her teeth giggling as he took a drag of a cigarette. He looked over at her and smiled, knowing that he had given her exactly what she had wanted. It dawned on him a few years after it started that this was her way of begging for attention, considering she wasn't the first or last he supposed he couldn't blame her. He had heard of something called middle child syndrome, but he supposed there were no studies into middle wife syndrome. That coupled with the fact that she adored messing with the people she loved led to the disaster that was ass up with tears in her eyes, finger marks on her wrists, and hand prints on her ass again. She wasn't Lynn, so this would satiate her perversions for a while. He would just have to be on guard like he always was. Because after all, Luan was a pervert.