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The girls gathered outside at the park near the Arcade. The weather turned pleasant, and they decided to take advantage before the first snow of the season. Usagi made sure to invite Minako, their newest friend. She had been extremely excited to join them and let Kunzite do as he pleased.
They met under one of the shelters with a few mugs in hand and some lunch prepared by Usagi's mother.
"Your mom rocks, Usagi." Rei sighs dreamily smelling the still steaming dumplings in their container.
"How did you get her to do this for us?" Ami asks as she scratches her head.
Usagi shrugs her shoulders in response. She didn't have to really ask. She just told Ikuko she was meeting her friends, and the woman went to work in the kitchen. "I didn't ask. She just done it."
"My mother needed me to ask." Minako groans as she wipes a drop of drool from her bottom lip. "I can't believe she's cool like this."
Usagi watches as the girls drool over the meal. Of course, Ikuko prepared soba, sushi, and tonkatsu dishes with several complimentary sauces. When they were younger, Ikuko prepared bento boxes. These certainly weren't bento boxes, but just as tasty. Usagi pulls the plates and serving utensils out from another tote before Minako got too handsy and began picking foods with her fingers.
"I think Jadeite has the boys shopping for tuxedos today." Rei tells them, making conversation.
"Hey, Rei," Usagi said, her voice light with mischief. "Are you really going to let Mamoru wear a tuxedo that's shit green for the wedding?"
Rei's head snapped up, her eyes narrowing. "What did you just say about Mamoru's tuxedo?" she asked, trying, and failing, to hold back a smile.
Usagi grinned cheekily, "I'm just saying, that's a bold choice." Ami winces in wait and looks to see Rei silently contemplating the next action.
Rei shakes her head, exasperated but amused. " The tuxedos are black and white. If you so much as say a word about shit green tuxedos at the wedding, Tsukino, I swear—you'll be the one wearing shit green for the rest of your life. Got it?"
Usagi's eyes widen in mock terror. "Nooo, not shit green!" she wails dramatically. "I'll never recover from the shame!"
Rei smirks. "Then keep your mouth shut. You don't want to ruin my perfect wedding, do you?"
Usagi grins playfully. "I mean, if it helps, I can always wear pink to balance out the disaster that is Mamoru's tux."
Rei shoots her a look, but it was light with affection. "You better not. The last thing I need is for you to be the star of my wedding in some ridiculous outfit."
Usagi placed a hand over her heart, feigning innocence. "What do you mean? "
Rei rolls her eyes, but her smile betrays her. "Just stay away from Mamoru's tuxedo, or else."
Usagi holds up her hands in mock surrender. "Okay, okay! No making fun of the tux—for now."
Rei sighs with a relieved smile. "You better keep that promise, Usagi."
"This soba is delicious." Minako interjects reaching to grab seconds and cutting through the tension with her obliviousness.
Rei keeps her eye on Usagi. "Are you going to talk to him and make peace?"
"Afraid I'll shank him as he escorts me down the aisle before you?"
"Honestly?"
"Here we go." Ami hisses in annoyance at the bickering. It is definitely like old times. Minako continues eating, lost in the deliciousness of the food.
"Yeah, I'm afraid you won't be able to walk down the aisle with him or make it through any wedding events without a scene being caused." Rei knew her words were harsh but at the same time, she needed Usagi to hear her. It wasn't like Jadeite didn't plan to have the same conversation with Mamoru. She knew they thought they were slick the other night when she stepped away from their table. Jadeite couldn't hide it from her. She fumed all night and threatened him with the sofa if he didn't talk to Mamoru.
Usagi doesn't move, she keeps her utensils in hand. She sits quietly and ponders Rei's concerns. Would she really do that to Rei if Mamoru pestered her during the most important day of Rei's life? Would Mamoru take the risk of riling her up on Rei's big day?
"I'm going to go. Ami, could you drop this off later if you don't mind?" Usagi says finally as she puts her utensils back on her plate. Ami nods and Minako reaches up to scratch the back of her head.
"You don't have to leave, Usagi." Rei states. "I'm not trying to be mean."
"I know. I just believe I need to go, and I'll see you all later."
"Be safe, Usagi." Minako says looking between her and Rei.
The night was fairly peaceful, only a cold breeze sweeping through Tokyo. Most families had turned in for the night to rest and wake up and do it again the next day. Children sleeping peacefully throughout the night as they dreamt of magical things. All couldn't go wrong.
Except for at the Tsukino house.
Dreams turn into nightmares as Usagi tosses throughout the night. Since she arrived home, sleep was not hard to come by and she didn't worry about nightmares. She hadn't had one since she was eighteen. Tonight is certainly different.
Flashes of that woman named Beryl on Starlight Tower with a snarl on her face play through her mind. Mamoru stepping aside and letting Beryl strike her face. She is paralyzed and can't defend herself. Only after one strike, Beryl turns toward Mamoru and plants a deep on his lips before they both turn to laugh at her.
Her eyes fly open, and she begins breathing heavily as she looks around her bedroom for any sign of something wrong. Everything had been left as it was, only the light from the moon shone through her bedroom window. Why Beryl? Is it because I insulted that damn blazer of his? "It was only a nightmare." She says aloud for nobody in particular, just reassurance none of that happened. Maybe it is a sign of some sort.
If it was indeed a sign, Usagi needed to rectify the predicament. She sighs with contempt and rolls over on her side, gazing out the window at the moon. Soon she's back asleep.
Her dreams aren't half as nightmarish and soon the sun rises, waking her up once more. With a groan she goes back and forth once more over her decision. I can't believe, I'm actually going to do this today. She sits up and reaches to the night table beside her bed and looks at her phone.
She definitely isn't looking forward to what she's about to do. She bites her lip and texts Ami because she knows her blunette friend will help her.
It doesn't take her long to dress and check on her father before she leaves them alone for a while. Ikuko warns her to be careful after watching the morning news and observing how bad traffic is this morning. Kenji just smiles and wishes her the best with whatever it is she's doing.
She fidgets with the hem of her shirt under her coat, going back and forth with whether this is a good idea once again. Is it really going to do any good? She doesn't want anything from him. She's moved on.
As the taxi stops in front of the hospital, she pulls some cash out from her purse and advises him to keep the change, it isn't like she can't afford the tip.
"I can't believe you're up this early." Ami greets with a chuckle.
"I'm not a happy camper, Ames." Usagi states with a yawn. "I had nightmares."
Ami frowns and takes in Usagi's appearance. At first, she looks like she has every day since she's been home but upon closer inspection, she can see the dark circles forming under Usagi's eyes and even those pigtails she's been infamous for since they were kids don't look pinned up right.
"Must've been some nightmare." Ami finally says. "He's in one of the private offices. He is reviewing notes before rounds this morning."
"Lead the way."
Ami turns and they walk toward the hospital away from the parking lot.
"I was worried about you after you left."
"Rei has always been prickly. She has a point." Usagi responds monotonously.
"Ikuko told me you went straight into your bedroom and locked the door when I returned the goodies."
"I wanted alone time to think."
Ami doesn't say another word as they continue across the parking lot in silence. Rei's temper is just as fiery now as it was back in their younger years. After Usagi left, she gave Rei a stern lecture about that temper of hers. She takes a look at Usagi walking beside her. Usagi chews her lip while her palms become clammy, feeling Ami's silent gaze on her.
"I'm perfectly fine. I've thought about it."
"Okay."
Usagi's heart pounds thumps wildly against her chest as they walk in through the lobby doors.
The nurses are clamoring around Ann much like they did the last time she came in here. This time Ann sees her coming and stops talking for a moment to observe. Ami looks over her shoulder at Usagi and smiles as she notices that Usagi is paying them as little attention as possible.
They walk through the hall to the elevator and exit on the third floor and Ami leads her down several hallways before coming to stop at one of the doors with a label posted on it.
"He's in here. Just don't kill each other."
"Why would I do that?"
Ami gives her a knowing look. "If you show up to any wedding events with bruises, Rei will finish you off." She reminds Usagi. Usagi nods remembering Rei's words. With a final sigh and muttering under her breath, Usagi knocks gently and waits to open the door.
"Come in."
Usagi opens the door slowly and peeks in.
Sure enough, Mamoru is sitting behind a desk with only a small lamp for light. His cup of Joe is still hot as she can tell from the steam emanating from the top. With a gulp and a slight clench of her insides, she steps in the room and closes the door behind her. Mamoru's white coat hangs on the back of his chair, and he hasn't looked up from the stack of papers he's been focused on. His hair isn't disheveled this morning and his tie hangs loose around his neck.
"So, you're just going to watch me...oh." He begins but stops short realizing the person in the room with him is none other than Usagi. This isn't how he planned to spend his morning.
"Good morning." She says with a chuckle.
"Good morning." He responds unsure if this was indeed a good morning or the beginning of a very bad day. "Is there something I can help you with?" He knew today was not the day to be testy. Jadeite warned him the day before about causing a scene or worse, ruining the wedding day for himself and Rei. He assumes the reason Usagi is seeking him out is because Rei gave her a warning.
There is definitely something he can help her with. She nods, not wanting to waste time with small talk. "I'm ready to listen."
"Oh." Mamoru did not see this. He slightly panics considering he's been waiting for years to have this exact conversation and now about 9:00 am on the busiest day of the week, Usagi decides it is time to have this conversation. Brilliant.
"I've probably been unfair to you by avoiding this conversation. I'm sorry."
He takes a moment to observe her silently and wondering what changed her mind. She wonders if he notices how ragged she feels and hopes that her pigtails stay in place. He takes his cup of coffee in his hand and lifts it to his lips; he knows he'll need it. After another sip he sets it back down and moves the paperwork he's been staring at to a far corner of the desk.
It has been so long since it happened and because he believed he'd never get the chance to talk to her about it, details were surely missing. Since her outburst outside her home, he felt like it didn't matter.
"I fucked up back then." He begins explaining as he looks up meeting her eyes and he doesn't break contact. "I never lied about how I felt for you, Usagi. I am older, though not by much and some of the guys began saying things. Diamond wondered why I chose you over Beryl. We got into it after school one day. That's why I didn't drive you home."
Diamond was a piece of work, she remembered that. She thought he was jealous because she picked Mamoru over him. None of this was surprising. What was surprising is that he let what Diamond said dictate his actions and the choices he made.
"I wasn't using you for sex."
"Did you ever date Beryl?" Usagi asks with a sharp tone. She leans against the wall behind her.
"She wanted to. I didn't because she always appeared slimy. I know she was in Diamond bed's every night while trying to get in mine."
"I don't care if she was knocked up by Diamond. Is Diamond the reason you said, 'my ranting is unattractive'?"
"Yes. Usagi, I was not in the right head space and I'm sorry about that."
She knew these next words were hard. She could feel a lump forming in her throat. "You said that to me right after we had sex, and I was looking for assurance that I lived up to your expectations."
He gawks at her and stands up immediately as if he is now offended. "What expectations? Usagi, I didn't think you had been with other men."
"It doesn't matter. These are things that go through a girl's head." Her eyes feel wet and soon tears are streaming down her face despite her strong desire not to cry in front of him. She clenches her hands into fists and mutters a few cusswords.
He remains silent and looks anywhere else but her face. "I'm sorry I was an asshole. You had every right to ignore me."
She isn't sure this will help her reach whatever closure her heart and mind tell her that she needs. She knows he's telling her the truth, however. He hasn't raised his voice or been cold with her. Even his facial expression shows that's more concerned for her wellbeing than his own. She takes a few more moments to ensure there is no hitch in her voice from the light sobbing.
"I'm sorry that I ignored you instead of talking to you." She finally says. "I don't know where this leaves us though."
"I think it leaves us in a better spot than arguing like we did at dinner." He responds with a smile that soon becomes too infectious for her to ignore.
"Just don't wear that damn blazer ever again."
"What is it with you." He says with a playful sigh before sitting back down.
"I should get going and let you go back to work. You save lives and all." She says looking at the door behind her and offering a bigger warm smile. "Have a good day." At last, some weight of the past is gone, and she feels lighter on her feet. Her heart doesn't feel as torn open as it has all these years. She was wrong to ignore him instead of talking and understanding where he was coming from. She wondered why he said those harsh words for so many nights. Now she can finally put it rest.
"Thanks, and you do the same. Keep an eye on Kenji." He says and watches her leave the room without another word.
Usagi tilts her head upon seeing Ami leaning against the other wall, still standing around.
"Relax, I wanted to make sure you came out in one piece."
"Uh huh."
"Fine, I was hoping you'd come out beaming because you all made up and wanted to give it another go." Ami states with a shrug.
"Ami!" Usagi hisses as her face turns a deep shade of red. "We are not doing that."
"Fine. I won't deny, but it would make sense if you did."
"Ami! You're just as bad as Minako." Usagi says shaking her head disapproving as they walk back to the elevators.