Glossary:

Chuck: a term of endearment.

Chapter 121

Gerhardt sat in the sitting area of the fine hotel as the sun came up over the horizon. He held the cup of coffee that he'd ordered off of Diner Dash, sighing. He was haunted all night by his father's order.

"I know you love your brother, Gerhardt. I know he is angry with you but he will get over it. He is so innocent. If he found out that his romantic dreams were only an illusion… he'll be alright, he'll come around. I know a few young lads who will take his mind off of it. Good riddance to bad rubbish."

He looked at his hands. "I want to keep my promise, Father… but… I miss my brother. I'm so…" he clenched the cup until it caved, the coffee spilling everywhere, tears dripping from his eyes. "I'm alone… Please… release me from my promise. Gunter might understand. He has grown up. Please, Father…"

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Glenn was surprised at how well he slept once he finally got to sleep. Waking up with his girlfriend in his arms must have been the difference. He peered down at the gray wolfette, petting her head tenderly.

She smiled up at him, opening her gold eyes. "Good morning…" she sighed contentedly. "I love you…"

He nodded. "I love you too." His eyes suddenly went wide as he realized something was amiss. "Porshie, I need to use the bathroom." He explained as he pulled away, hurrying to the bathroom.

She got up with a giggle. He was so adorable. She got dressed quickly while he was in the bathroom. She chose a turquoise blouse with tiny lavender polka dots and translucent shoulder caps and a tight pair of fuschia pants. She was just making up her face when she heard the door.

When he came out, he called. "Sorry, Nooshy! It's yours now! I forgot that the other door went into her room and forgot to lock it." He admitted.

Porsha gasped. "Oh poor sis."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry. But wow, you look great." He smiled.

His girlfriend blushed. "Thanks. I'm going downstairs so you can change. The meeting is at 11, remember?"

He nodded. "Yeah… I thought… they have a piano there right?" He asked. "I remember seeing one."

"Yeah, in Miss Crawly's office. Why?" She asked.

He shook his head. "I can't explain it but I feel like there's a song in my head that wants out. And I don't have my keyboard."

Porsha smiled. "I'm sure they won't mind if we went in early. We all have keys. And if you want, we could stop at your house later and get it. Or I could get you a new one. I was wondering what to get you for a housewarming gift." She said excitedly.

Glenn laughed. "You don't need to get me anything. I have you. That's enough of a gift." He kissed her nose.

She blushed. "See you downstairs." She smiled and left the room, feeling like she was walking on clouds. "Good morning, Big Daddy." She hugged her father as he read his paper and drank his coffee.

"Good morning, Porsha," he smiled up at her. "Did you sleep better after your nightmare?"

She grinned sheepishly. "You heard that? I'm sorry." She poured her cup of coffee and added her sweet cream to it.

"Nooshy and I both did. Are you alright?" He asked her.

She nodded. "Glenn took care of me. He held me and let me cry. And he said he loved me." She blushed. "I love him too."

Marcus chuckled. "That's good to hear. I only ask that you be discerning. Be careful, take it slow. You don't want to rush through this part." He smiled. "Porsha…" his tone became somber. He had thought about it all night. He could see only one way forward but he was terrified of what he might lose. "There's something I need to talk to you about…"

She nodded and sat down across from him. "What's wrong, Big Daddy?"

He studied her carefully before starting. "It's about your father. You've been told that… that he took his own life. And while that is mostly true…" he sighed. "I… I… forced him to do it." He watched her eyes grow wide. "He tried to beg for his life and I continued to bully him into it. And… then… when he hesitated…. I… I pushed him…." The gorilla clenched his eyes shut. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry. I know it's not enough but… I'm so sorry."

The wolf listened to his confession. "But if you hadn't… if he hadn't fallen… then he'd have gone to jail. He would have been tortured…"

He sighed. "The truth is… he likely would have gone to a luxury prison. If he was convicted. I was so angry. All I could think about was making him pay. I'm so sorry. I should have found a way to spare him. For you. I'm so sorry." He wept into his hands, not prepared for her arms to encircle his neck.

"I know, Big Daddy. Even if he went to a nice place, he still would have been publicly humiliated. His reputation would have been destroyed," she hugged him. "And I would have been the one punished. Sent to a foster home." She felt tears in her eyes. "I forgave you for this a long time ago. When you told me that… that I'd never see him again. I knew. I forgive you, Big Daddy. Please, don't punish yourself anymore." She pulled away. "Where's Big Mama?"

He chuckled. "Just taking a shower. Your little brother got her when we were changing their diapers."

Porsha hissed. "Poor Big Mama. How about I make breakfast? She got a dozen eggs out of the fridge and the leftover ground beef from the night before.

Marcus watched her pull out other things that wouldn't go with eggs. At all. "Better idea… what if we all went out for breakfast? I'll call up and invite Johnny too."

"Great idea, then Glenn wanted to go to the theater. He wants to use the piano," she said. She put the ingredients back in the fridge. "I'm going to learn how to cook." She vowed, knowing why he was suggesting going out.

Marcus chuckled and picked up the phone, dialing his son's number.

A few minutes later, the line clicked. "Hello Grandpa," Neo's voice greeted him.

"Good morning, Neo. Can I talk to either of your dads please?" Marcus asked.

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Ryan was feeding Noelle when the phone rang. Neo was closest. "Neo, can you see who it is on the caller id?"

Neo peered over from his gaming seat. "It's Grandpa!" He grabbed the phone. "Hello Grandpa. Yeah. Dad, Grandpa wants to talk to you." He took the phone to Ryan.

Ryan looked at Noelle and the bottle in his other hand. Johnny quickly came in. "I got it, Chuck." He took the phone from Neo. "Hello? Oh, hey Dad. Well, we would love to go out but…" he hissed as Noelle started crying the moment she drank some of the formula. "Noelle is a bit fussy. She, well, we all had a rough night. Oh, just some colic, she's fine. Oh! That's a great idea. Yeah, come on over, we'll have breakfast here." He smiled. "See you all soon." He hung up. "Dad and them are coming over for breakfast. They're bringing food. How do breakfast burritos sound?" He asked.

"Yay!" Neo cheered.

Ryan breathed a sigh of relief. "That sounds great, I'm too tired to cook." He admitted, looking like he was close to crying. Chelsea had helped them get Noelle back to sleep but she was back at it by twilight. They tried emulating what she did but to no avail.

So he held his daughter helplessly. "Oh, Noelle, I'm trying. Give Daddy a little break or maybe a hint on how I can soothe you. Something…"

The clouded leopard looked at his sister. "Can I try holding her?"

Tiger and Gorilla exchanged a glance. "Okay, Neo," Johnny said. "Sit up on the couch."

Neo jumped up on the sofa and sat up straight, holding his arms the way he saw them doing. Ryan carefully put the crying baby into those small arms. Confused by the change, the crying stopped and Noelle's baby blue eyes locked with his. "What's wrong Noelle? Do you miss Mommy?" He asked. "I do too sometimes even though I don't really remember her."

Johnny and Ryan looked at each other again. There was something to be said about the importance of a mother. Johnny missed his mother deeply and only Rosita filled some of that void. Ryan made it a point to talk to his mother everyday now that they'd reconnected.

"But you know, we have the best dads in the world. Together, they're kind of like having a mom. They love us and take care of us. And they don't even have regular jobs so they're almost always home," they heard him say. "They're the best and I love it here. I know you will too." He stroked her forehead. "They'll take good care of you. And I will too."

Johnny sighed. "How can Chelsea and even Neo calm her down and we can't?" He whispered just loud enough for Ryan to hear. "Does she not like us?"

"She's just a baby, Johnny," Ryan said. "This is a new place, we don't smell familiar to her yet." He tried to think of more possible explanations. "She's just a baby but she's been through more in the last couple of days then most babies."

Johnny looked down. "What if… what if we never get the hang of it? I knew a baby would be hard but…"

The tiger kissed his head. "We will. We can do this. We just need to stick it out."

"Wheels on the bus go round and round," Neo's off-key voice caught their attention and they looked up to see the boy playing with Noelle's hands, rolling them around like wheels on a bus. "All through the town."

Ryan chuckled. "Besides, we are witnessing a rare moment. A big brother playing with his baby sister." He pulled out his cellphone and began recording.

His husband took a deep breath and watched. Neo changed to playing a game with her. "He rolls it and he pats it and marks it with a B. Then he puts it in the oven for Baby and me!" He tickled his sister's belly, earning a smile and the sonorous release of gas. Neo laughed at first until he smelled. "Ewwww. I think she needs a diaper change."

Johnny hurried back over, picking up Noelle, who did not cry. "Really? So you'll fart for Neo and Aunt Chelsea, but not for your dads?" He teased her.

Ryan shook his head. "It might simply be timing." He said when the doorbell rang. "Go change her, I'll let them in." He opened the door. "Hey Big Daddy, Suki." He hugged everyone as they came in. Marcus held a heavy sack of breakfast burritos and bowls of breakfast potatoes. "I can't tell you how grateful we are. We've gotten maybe 3 hours of sleep."

Suki laughed. "Babies can be a challenge. What's wrong?"

"She's having some gas issues and she's been colicky," Ryan explained. "I gave her her bottle but as soon as she tasted it, she started crying."

Suki saw the bottle on the counter. She opened it and sniffed before finding the container in the cupboard next to the fridge. "It smells fine but… I wonder if she might have a sensitive tummy." She pulled out her phone and went to her delivery app. "This brand has a formula for big cats with sensitive bellies. It's made with goat milk instead of cow. I'm ordering you a small one so you can try it first. And get her into a pediatrician as soon as possible."

"Don't worry about that," Johnny said as he came back out, followed by Nooshy who was making silly faces for Noelle. "She and Neo both have appointments with Dr. Petersen on Tuesday. Would you like to hold her, Nooshy?" He asked.

The lynx nodded eagerly, accepting the baby girl. She went to the couch and sat next to Neo who was showing Airlia his game system. Rosie and Lukie sat in their baby carriers in front of the sofa. "Hey, Noelle, this is your Aunt Rosie and your Uncle Lukie. I bet you three will be best friends. And this is our new friend Airlia."

In the kitchen, Marcus, Porsha, and Suki all scrutinized the two boys. Their eyes were bloodshot and their fur was ragged.

"Wow, you two really didn't get much sleep last night," Porsha observed.

Ryan looked ready to cry himself. "Three hours. Three!"

Marcus grinned. "Well, you still have some time before the meeting. Why don't you two eat, take hot showers and get some sleep? We'll watch them for you."

Johnny shook his head. "You came here to spend time with us. Not babysit."

Nooshy bounced Noelle on her lap. "Oh we came here to spend time with all of you but we're also here to help. That's why you have a family." She laughed. "Isn't that right, Noelle." She bounced her up and down.

Neo nodded. "Yeah, Dads, don't worry. I'll make sure you get up in time to go to the theater," he promised.

The two dads sighed in defeat. They were both exhausted. "Thanks, guys," Ryan said as they sat down to try and eat at least one burrito each. "Didn't Glenn come too?"

Porsha shook her head. "He said he had a song that he had to write while he was still inspired. He said it's how he processes things. I said he could use the piano. Is that okay?"

Johnny laughed. "Sure. He's welcome to." He ate his burrito and washed it down with a glass of orange juice.

Ryan laid his head on the table. Suki giggled. "Okay, you two. Go get some sleep. I swear, we all have this."

Johnny nodded. "Thanks, Suki." He said, helping his husband to his feet. Together they hobbled back to their room, collapsing in their bed. They were asleep in minutes.

AN: It can't all be easy-peasy with babies. Good place to end this chapter. I'm exhausted.