Good Morning! I absolutely forgot yesterday was posting day, so I am a day late, I apologize!
Thank you ever so much to Mel and Pamela!
Chapter Five
Bella
I was in the most decorated prison in all the kingdom, but a prison it was just the same.
I'd been set up in a ridiculously opulent room, and all I could think about was how stripping this one chamber of every charm and decorative gold vase would feed half the kingdom for days. It was deplorable.
Even the bath I permitted myself to take had been luxurious in ways I didn't know bathing could be. My apartment contained a single tub that I sat in with my knees to my chest. I had to build a fire to boil any hot water, though I was lucky enough to have a solitary faucet in my flat attached to the main network. I knew plenty of people who still had to travel to the town square several times a day to fill their buckets with communal water.
But of course, no such hardships existed in the palace. There were dozens of taps, and to my shock, each one produced a stream of hot, scented water.
After scrubbing myself down, I let myself rest in the tub for exactly three minutes before guilt forced me out. I couldn't just lounge there while so many people in the kingdom suffered every minute.
After my bath, I caved to sleeping in the room, though the bed was too soft and the pillows too many.
Halfway through the night, my internal clock went off and I woke up, rising to start my day.
I had anticipated more trouble sneaking out of the palace after Edward tried to keep me there, but it seemed he had failed to inform the guards that I was his prisoner rather than his guest. I walked out without a single glance back at anyone and headed straight to work.
When I got there, Al was passed out in his office, ink stains smudged across his forehead. I wasn't sure how long he'd been there, but this was at least the third day I hadn't witnessed him go home.
Not wanting to disturb him, I set to work, preparing the press and waiting for the herald to bring me the morning news.
As I waited, I considered what I would write in my other pamphlet. I had come to think of it as my duty to inform the citizens of Eventid any truth about the royals and their lives, but to do that now would be to identify myself as Edward's potential sultra. The very idea of anyone knowing about that made me feel nauseous.
The herald arrived, and as I received the morning's news and announcements, Al came out of his office looking ragged and worn.
"When was the last time you went home?" I asked, looking him over.
Al grunted and rubbed at the stubble on his chin. He didn't answer me, which wasn't a terrible surprise.
"What's on today?" he asked.
I offered him the news bulletins. The same sorts of stories as always, though I found I couldn't stare at the photo of Edward for fear that I would crack and go back to finish the binding with him. The pull wasn't nearly as strong as it had been the day before, but there was a deep need growing in the pit of my belly, and I could sense that it was directly related to the prince.
"Same old," I said with a light shrug.
Al flipped through the papers before grunting again and handing them back to me. "And how are you?" he asked.
I frowned, my lips pursing. "I've been better," I said after a moment.
Al looked at me thoughtfully. "All right, get to work."
With that, he turned and headed back to his office, leaving me to set up the press in peace.
My morning ran as most mornings did for me. I quickly lost myself in the rhythm and demand of my tasks, and once I had both presses running, I stopped in to see Al. He was at his desk, a pair of spectacles on his nose, another pair perched on the top of his head.
He was poring over a map on his desk, but as soon as he heard me shuffling around, he quickly folded the parchment up and slid it into his top drawer.
He looked up at me, blinking innocently.
"What's that?" I asked.
"Nothing," Al said, shaking his head. "I'm just trying to plan a more efficient delivery route. Some neighborhoods wait all day for their news bulletins to arrive."
I frowned. I knew what he was saying was true, but it also felt like it wasn't the truth. I opened my mouth and I wasn't sure if it was to argue or accept his explanation when the front door cracked open behind me, making me spin around. My eyes widened as I watched Edward storm into the shop, his face dark and furious.
"When I give you an order," Edward said, his voice a snarl as he stalked toward me. "I expect for you to obey me, even when I am not right in front of you to enforce it."
I felt my pulse quicken, my nostrils flaring with my sudden anger. "And I told you," I seethed back at him. "You do not own me."
"I ordered you to stay," he fought back.
"And I didn't want to."
His eyes narrowed. "This is treasonous!"
"Then arrest me!" I screamed, my voice going shrill as I lost control of myself.
Edward stepped toward me, his body heat radiating so hot, for a moment it felt like I was standing before the sun.
"Your Highness, please forgive Bella. She's always been spirited," Al said, stepping between us. I didn't realize how close we'd gotten until Al had to tug me back to wedge himself in our fight.
"Bella resigns effective immediately," Edward said, looking at Al.
Al flinched as I screeched.
"I understand," Al said, even as I screamed, "I am not quitting!"
Al whirled on me, his hands capturing my shoulders and shoving me back through the doorway of his office. "Bella, stop," he whispered, his eyes wide. "I know you're angry, but you have to be rational. That's the crown prince. You could be executed for how you are speaking to him."
"Just another reason why our system is broken," I snarled, my gaze finally traveling to my boss.
"I agree with you," he said quietly. "But you have to be wiser than this. Pick your battles."
I was so angry I was shaking, and Al squeezed my shoulders. "Calm yourself, Bella. See reason. If the prince needs your undivided attention, then let him have it. Your job will always be here for you when you are able to return."
Unexpectedly, tears began welling in my eyes. "I don't want this to happen," I told him, suddenly feeling out of control and vulnerable. "He's already taking over my life. I'm losing myself and we haven't even bound ourselves yet."
I'd never told Al my family history. He just knew I'd wanted to avoid binding at all costs, which is why I'd worn the glasses.
But Al didn't need to know my trauma to know why I didn't want to tether myself to Edward. Al was the closest thing to family I had left in this world. He understood how much free will meant to me.
"Bella, I know you are scared," Al said gently. "But Kresa has decided a path for you. You must follow it."
I frowned. Al and I had never spoken about religion, but in my head I had assumed that he, like myself, didn't believe in any of the gods. I'd never heard him refer to the goddess of fate before, and it made so little sense for him to be doing so now that I found the fight drained out of me.
What was going on with him?
Al patted my shoulders before twisting around and bringing me just outside his office again where Edward was waiting. "Apologies, Your Highness," Al said with a dip of his head. "Bella will come with you now."
Edward looked confused as his eyes slid to me. But I was just as lost. What had just happened? Why was Al acting weird? What was he hiding?
I looked at my boss, who was standing anxiously at my side, his hands tapping a rhythm against his back. His eyes kept flickering to Edward and then in the direction of the press, and I felt my shoulders begin to slump.
He must be worried about our work, the secret work we did every day to undermine the monarchy and educate the people of Eventid.
So long as I was working here and Edward kept coming after me, Al's shop would never be left alone in peace to do what it needed to.
I felt bitter acceptance settle in my gut, and I let out a frustrated breath.
"Fine," I agreed. "I'll leave."
Edward gave a curt nod and gestured toward the front door. I looked at Al, who gave me a small smile which I returned before stalking forward, gathering my bag and my coat and leaving the print shop, hopefully not for the last time.
…
The ride back to the palace was spent in tense silence. Edward was still angry with me, though I sensed he was also pleased to have gotten his way, which only served to anger me further.
By the time we were climbing out of the horseless carriage, it felt as if the tension between us could be cut by a blade.
"Come," Edward commanded. "We are going to visit the archives."
I glared at his back but obeyed as he stalked forward. Instead of heading up and south, Edward led me below the east wing, and for a terrible moment, I wondered if he was taking me down to the dungeons instead of the archives as punishment for my disobedience.
But eventually he stopped in a large dusty room filled with stacks and stacks of bound volumes, and I felt my shoulders relax again.
"What are we doing down here?" I asked.
Edward looked at me. "We are going to look for Ananka."
"Ananka isn't real," I argued, hurrying half a step so we were walking side by side. "It's just a story."
Edward glanced at me. "Maybe," he said slowly.
"Not maybe," I said, shaking my head. "Ananka is a fantasy. That's it." My mother had told me stories of the isle of the Soul Tree when I was little. Supposedly, it was the home of Kresa. There on her island, Kresa cared for the Soul Tree where she wound the fates of all living creatures into every branch. It was Kresa who tended to the tree, pruning lives short or supporting longevity.
According to my mother, all souls passed through Ananka to receive their fate before they were born, and all souls returned to Ananka after death.
I didn't believe in Kresa or her fates, and I certainly didn't believe Ananka was a real place. Edward wanted to chase down a fairy tale.
"If we are to stop our magic from irrevocably binding," Edward growled, looking at me. "Then we have to at least try to find this place."
"You're mad."
"Maybe," he agreed again. "But I'd rather be mad and free than sane and bound, wouldn't you?"
At that, my mouth snapped shut, because yes, I would rather that too.
Huffing a deep breath, I shook my head. "Where am I supposed to start?"
…
Edward and I were down in the archives nearly two hours before any acolytes found us. Unsurprisingly, the search was not going well on our own.
The acolytes looked surprised to find us in the dusty stacks, but the moment they spotted Edward, they dropped into deep bows, their red robes brushing the stone floor. "Rise," Edward said, making me roll my eyes. The acolytes both righted themselves, their wide eyes flickering between Edward and myself. "We seek information about Ananka. Can you help us?"
One of the acolytes—a woman, if I were to guess, though it was hard to tell under her bulky robes and with her shaved head—clasped her hands together before her body.
"Yes, Your Highness," she said, motioning behind her. "Any religious texts will be found over here." She gestured to a part of the archives we had not yet visited and likely wouldn't have for some time.
Edward snapped the book in his palms shut and reshelved it. "Very good. Show me."
The acolyte nodded and turned, beckoning us to follow. The other acolyte who I assumed to be male based on the wider jaw and slight bob in their throat, watched us with wide, round eyes.
"What's your name?" I asked the male as Edward took off after the female.
"Brother Alecsander," he said, holding his palms together and dipping his head in my direction.
"It's nice to meet you," I told him, not entirely sure I meant it but not wanting to be rude.
Brother Alecsander gazed at me with wide, anxious eyes and I sighed, turning to follow Edward.
"How long have you been an acolyte?" I asked as we walked, feeling uncomfortable with the gaze I could feel on my back. I turned to Brother Alecsander who blinked at me.
"My mortal mother gifted me to the church upon my birth."
I frowned, my feet stopping as I processed what he'd said. "You were dropped here as an infant?"
Brother Alecsander blinked. "My mother read the portents of my birth and knew my divine path was to serve the gods," he explained. "Mine has been a blessed life."
My stomach roiled and fury bloomed bright in the center of my chest. Alecsander was just another in a long history of people born in Eventid to parents who traded them away. Nevermind he thought it was divine providence, the reality was that Alecsander's mother was probably some young girl who wasn't prepared to take on another mouth and dumped her baby as soon as she could to be someone else's problem. The fact that he was thanking her for his lot in life made my stomach twist.
"You're not blessed," I muttered. "You just don't know any better."
Brother Alecsander followed me as I trailed behind Edward and the female acolyte through the stacks. We stopped in a large section where half the tomes were replaced with scrolls.
"What is it you are looking for specifically?" the female acolyte asked, turning to Edward.
"How to get to Ananka," Edward said.
Her eyes widened, and she hesitated, her eyes flickering toward me before she looked back at Edward. "The book of saints describes—"
"We're not interested in the philosophical," Edward cut her off. "We want a navigable location."
The acolyte's eyebrows furrowed.
"Sister Jane, perhaps—"
"The lands of the gods are not for mortals," Sister Jane said, cutting off Brother Alecsander. Her eyes focused on Edward. "Not even for the high fae."
Edward shook his head. "Surely there must be a way to get there," he argued.
"Through prayer," Sister Jane said, her mouth pursing. "And dedication to the gods and saints."
Edward let out a heavy breath. "Fine," he said after a moment. "Are we free to look through these texts? Perhaps it is time we renew our faith."
At the suggestion, Sister Jane visibly relaxed, her shoulders drooping and her mouth falling into a flat line again.
"Of course. Please take all the time you need," she said, dipping her head. She clasped her hands in her bow before straightening up and turning to Brother Alecsander.
"I'll be with you shortly, Sister Jane," he said to her. "I wish to tidy the volumes left out."
At his words, Sister Jane's eyes cast around the room. There had been a handful of texts left out on tables, presumably by someone a while ago if the dust was anything to go by.
Sister Jane nodded and slipped away through the stacks, leaving Edward and me standing there like idiots with Brother Alecsander.
"What now, genius?" I asked Edward acidly.
He turned to glare at me when Brother Alecsander cleared his throat. "If I might," he said, making Edward and me look over at him.
"What is it?" Edward asked.
Brother Alecsander's eyes flitted anxiously between us before he took a deep breath. "Last year I was organizing the tomes when I came across a strange little book." He held a hand up and walked toward the shelves. "At first, I didn't understand what it was, but now in hindsight, I believe this might aid you."
He pulled a thick volume off the shelf, then reached behind the book to the back of the case where he recovered a slim black book. It was no bigger than my hand and looked utterly unremarkable next to the gilded volumes beside it.
"What is this?" Edward asked as Brother Alecsander offered him the slim book.
"A journal, I believe," Brother Alecsander said, shaking his head. "But it is written in a language I do not know and have yet to be able to translate," he cautioned.
Edward pulled open the text and I stepped up beside him, curiously looking over his arm as he flipped through the pages.
The text was handwritten, and indeed in a strange language that I'd never seen before. The text wrapped in looping circles around the page and was made of symbols I did not recognize.
"What is this?" I breathed, my curiosity piqued.
"It is unknown," Brother Alecsander said, shaking his head. "But there are maps that are familiar to me." He held out his hands, as if waiting for the book back, and Edward handed him the volume. "Here," Brother Alecsander said, flipping several pages. "This coastline is Primm, I'm certain of it," he said, gesturing to a part of the map. "And here." He tapped the other side of the map. "This is Kresa's mark." He showed us a symbol that seemed to be floating in the ocean. "I think that this book is somehow a map to Ananka," he said slowly. "Though, I do not understand it."
It felt tenuous, a thin shred of hope pinned on a drawing and a language we couldn't read.
I glanced up at Edward whose eyes had turned to me. The moment our gazes met, I realized how close we'd gotten and immediately I felt my blood rushing through my body, demanding for me to step closer to him, to reach out for just… one… touch…
I took a massive step back, my hand coming up to my throat and touching the pendant with his blood inside of it. Immediately, my skin prickled to life, my heart racing as I imagined the vial under my fingers growing hot with magic.
It was too hot in here; I needed to get out and get some fresh air.
I took another step away from Edward, turning my face toward the stacks and breathing in the musty scent of old parchment and leather.
"Thank you," Edward said to the acolyte. "I need to borrow this." Brother Alecsander hesitated and Edward smiled at him. "It will be returned in perfect condition."
The acolyte let out a breath. "Of course," he agreed. "Whatever you need, Your Highness."
Edward glanced at me then looked at the acolyte once more. "One more thing," he said. "Tell no one what you have shared with us today. Our mission must remain secret," he insisted.
Brother Alecsander looked uncertain, but nodded just the same.
"As you wish, Your Highness."
…
Somehow, despite my adamant insistence that I would not be staying in the palace another night, I found myself back in the room Edward had ordered for me, except this time there was a guard posted at the door to make sure I didn't run off.
Smart, I supposed, since I had indeed planned to bolt at the first chance I got. Maybe I couldn't go back to the print shop with Al, but I could at least try to get away from Edward.
The guard outside my door looked familiar, though I wasn't sure why, and he was easily the most massive individual I'd ever seen, fae and human alike. I'd given him the once-over as I'd been escorted to my room and decided that he was not someone I wanted to take on, so in my room I stayed put.
Once I was locked away for the night, I resolved myself to try to piece together the mystery of the book Brother Alecsander had offered us. I didn't remember all the symbols of the foreign language, but I knew type fonts well, and my mind had captured a few shapes. I was able to find parchment and a charcoal pencil at a writing desk in the corner of the room, and when I had what I needed, I sat down and began sketching what I remembered.
There was something familiar about the shapes, something I couldn't quite name.
I played around with the them a few minutes longer, trying to put the pieces together, when a knock startled me out of my thoughts.
I glared toward the door, annoyed. "What?"
Edward entered and I rolled my eyes, turning back to the parchment. "Go away."
I heard the door creak closed and then Edward's light steps across the floor in my direction. Of course he was going to ignore me.
"What are you doing?"
"Fucking a rooster, what does it look like?" I snapped, looking up at him. To my surprise, Edward looked amused, maybe even a little aroused, and briefly, my mind flashed to the memory of what he said to me the day before.
"I wonder what would happen if we bound our magic by fucking."
I wasn't sure I could be more surprised than when he'd uttered those candid words. It had been a riot of responses in my body, both desperately wishing for such an action to happen while simultaneously praying never to see Edward again in my life.
It had been a deeply complicated feeling, one I still wasn't ready to unpack.
"I've made arrangements," Edward said, clearing his throat. "Tomorrow, we will go to Primm, and from there, we will set sail."
I dropped my pencil and stood up. "What? No, we can't just go swanning off on some wild goose chase!"
Edward shook his head. "We have to find Ananka. We have to unbind our fates."
"You're delusional!" I shouted. "Ananka isn't real, and if it is real, what makes you think we'll be able to find it? And if we find it, how are we going to magically unbind ourselves, and—"
"Enough!" Edward shouted, stepping toward me. I could tell by the dark fury in his eyes and the flaring of his nostrils that I really pissed him off. "Gods, you are without a doubt the most annoying human I have ever had this displeasure of meeting!"
"And you are a useless fae prince who is ready to go trotting off on some random quest rather than take actual responsibility for your kingdom!" I screamed. "Your people out there are dying! Don't you care?" I stopped and shook my head. "Oh, wait, only the humans are dying. So I guess it doesn't matter!"
Edward paced away from me, his anger radiating off him. "You have no idea what I do for my people," he said, his voice shaking with his fury. "You have no idea how much I sacrifice."
I folded my arms over my chest. "Please tell me how I'm wrong. I'd love to hear all the ways you've helped us." I snarled.
Edward glared at me across the room. "We depart at dawn," he said, his voice low and dark. "Either you come with me willingly, or I have you dragged behind the horses for the entire journey. It's your choice."
With that, he stormed out of my room, making me scream in frustration in his wake. My life was too far out of my control, and I feared at this rate, I would never get it back again.