Once upon a time, I believe it was a Tuesday when I caught your eye
And we caught onto something
I hold onto the night, you looked me in the eye and told me you loved me
There was no way Severus could forget that day. Lily and Petunia were playing in the Muggle park next to his house, and he had finally summoned up the courage to talk to her. "You… you're a witch," he had said, forcing himself to step out of the shadows.
The interaction did not end well, with both Evans sisters glaring at him as they left. The next day, however, Lily returned to the park.
She walked in, and it would have been ordinary, if it were not for the fact that Petunia wasn't with her. Severus, who had been reading his second-hand Potions textbook, looked up when he noticed Lily and watched her apprehensively.
"Hello?" she asked tentatively, looking around. "Severus? … Are you there?"
This left no choice but for Severus to step forward. "Yes," he said, trying to smile. Lily whirled around and spotted him, looking slightly relieved. "Do you want to talk to me?" he asked, not as interestedly as he'd intended.
"Well, yeah," she said, giving him a soft smile, "I just wanted to know – the magic thing that you were talking about the other day – is it… well–"
"Is it real?" he interrupted. She nodded. "Yes, it's definitely real. You're a witch and I'm a wizard. That's why we can do strange things like that; haven't you ever wondered?"
Lily blushed slightly, and nodded again. "I have, sometimes… but are you sure?"
"Definitely."
He gave her a soft, confident smile, and she seemed to regain her senses. "So, do you want to redo our introductions? I'm sorry for glaring at you yesterday. My name's Lily Evans."
Severus grinned, pleased that things were going his way for once. "Severus Snape."
And like that, Lily and Severus had become friends.
Many months passed as the pair spent their spare afternoons in the playground, chatting and talking about nothing in particular. Sometimes it would be Potions, or else simple what the Wizarding World was like. Somehow, Lily managed to make Severus's day brighter – every time. Finally, it was her birthday, and he was determined to give her something beautiful.
"Happy birthday, Lily!" exclaimed Severus, his face splitting into a huge smile when he noticed her on the playground. She had the same reaction. "I made you this," he said, handing her a plain blue ornate box with carvings of different flowers as designs.
Lily gasped, tracing her finger around the carvings. "Go on, open it," he urged her. She complied, opening the box to reveal a single gold chain with a tiny bottle of Felix Felicis as the pendant.
"Oh my gosh!" she gasped, turning to look at Severus with the sweetest smile on her face. "Thank you so much, Sev! I love you!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him.
Yes, Severus would never forget that day.
Were you just kidding?
'Cause it seems to me
This thing is breaking down, we almost never speak
I don't feel welcome anymore
It all seemed like a joke to him now. "I love you!" she had said, and yet now they barely exchanged eye contact. Perhaps it was all because he had accidentally called her Mudblood on that fateful day – Severus winced, remembering it. And yet, Lily would not understand that it was a simple slip of tongue.
Him and Lily hardly ever talked anymore. They would brush past each other in the hallways, and the redhead wouldn't say as much as a "sorry" to him. Once, he had approached her in the library, trying for what seemed like the umpteenth time to apologise.
"Uh, Lily–" he began, confused about how to start.
Then, without giving Severus even a moment to speak, Lily got up, collected her books and left the library without a word, leaving her former best friend staring after her.
Baby, what happened?
Please tell me
'Cause one second it was perfect
Now you're halfway out the door
Perfect was quite the term to describe it. Severus remembered those precious, golden years when Lily used to spend every single evening with him, laughing and chatting about something or the other. And yet, everything had passed like a flash now that she was gone.
Gone. And he had tried, but there was no use trying to get her back.
And I stare at the phone
He still hasn't called
And then you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all
And you flashback to when he said "Forever and always"...
Lily wanted her Sev back, she really did. She missed the days they used to spend together, the memories they made. But some things you just couldn't take back – like calling your best friend the same word you had protected her from for years.
The first day of the summer holidays, Lily had come home, and immediately opened up a special piece of parchment, one that came with memories –
It was the middle of their second year, and Severus had called Lily to chat by the Black Lake as usual. She came on time, and sat down comfortably beside her best friend, when he pulled out something from his pocket.
"What's that?" Lily asked.
Severus smiled. "It's a special kind of parchment I made for both of us. Whatever I write on one side, will appear on your side, and vice versa."
Her face burst into a huge smile, and she delicately took the parchment from Severus's hand. "Wow," she breathed, turning it over in her hands. "But what if one of the Professors or Marauders catches us doing this? We need a way to hide the notes for everyone else's eyes, don't we?"
He nodded. "I've been trying to do that, but you know I'm not so good at Charms… do you want to do it together?"
"Of course! Why not?"
And they had spent the whole day, heads bent together, working on this new project.
Lily smiled reminiscently. Ever since That Day after the OWLs, though, she had stopped using the parchment to communicate with him. Many times, Severus had begged her – on the parchment and in school – to listen to him, and hear him out, just once.
And now the Summer Holidays had begun, and she still hadn't spoken more than two words to him. Lily decided that now would be the perfect time to reach out to him, so she placed the parchment on the study table, her quill poised above it – ready to write.
But then Lily paused. Would it really be a good idea to send a message apologising to someone who had called her a Mudblood? Perhaps not. Instead, she would wait for Severus to reach out first, and then she could consider it. Finally having decided on a proper solution, Lily placed the parchment on her bedside table and began to read a book, certain that Severus would say sorry – she would wait until he did.
She kept waiting for the whole of the holiday.
Oh, and then it rains in your bedroom
Everything is wrong
It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone
I was there when you said "Forever and always"...
Nothing felt right for Lily in sixth year.
On 1st September, she spent the train ride along with her friends, and the Marauders had very rudely barged in. But, she thought, Not Severus. During the feast in the Great Hall, she noticed Severus trying to catch her eye, but ignored him. We're not friends anymore.
The next day during Potions Class, Professor Slughorn predictably made her partners with Severus for the rest of the year. Perhaps, Lily thought, this could rekindle their friendship. But then The Word slipped out again.
"Hey, Lily," Severus said, scooting over to make space for her – he looked slightly nervous, as though worried she would explode.
Lily sat down, biting her lip. "We need to talk," she said to him in an undertone.
"Of course," he said immediately. "What's wrong?"
She took a deep breath and began. "Severus, I don't think I'll ever forgive you for what happened last year. But I'm sorry for what I did as well."
"I wanted to talk about this as well. Truce? Let's be friends again?"
She paused. "Alright," she said finally. "But on one condition. Please, please stop talking to your classmates in Slytherin. They're dangerous, I know it."
He spoke without thinking. "Of course, Lil, but you know I'm not like them. Just like you're not like other Mudbl— I mean muggle-borns —"
Severus had no time to continue. Lily had gone white, and immediately picked up her purse and walked out of the classroom. "Miss Evans?" called Slughorn, bewildered. "Lily? Where has she gone off to?"
"I don't think she's feeling too well, Professor," supplied James Potter, smirking. "I'll go check if she's alright." And he followed her.
Severus had thought that being Potions partners this year would help them, but he was wrong. Like always.
Was I out of line?
Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide
Like a scared little boy? I looked into your eyes
Thought I knew you for a minute, now I'm not so sure
Severus slammed his Transfiguration textbook down on the table angrily. His idea of studying for a while to get distracted was not working. What's wrong with the word mudblood anyway? He found himself thinking. Of course muggle-borns aren't pureblooded, that's quite literally the definition of them. Plus, it's just one simple word. Lily was acting much like a six year old who hadn't been complimented for once – overreacting.
So here's to everything
Coming down to nothing, here's to silence
That cuts me to the core, where is this going?
Thought I knew for a minute but I don't anymore
The first month of sixth-year, Severus had – many times – unconsciously turned to his side with a smile on his face, ready to tell Lily about something. The pit in his stomach when he was met with silence and empty air was impossible to describe.
Where would his relationship with Lily end up? Would they ever reconcile? Or would it always remain like this, with an unspoken tension between them? If you had asked the same question to Severus five years ago, he would have – without a moment's breath – said that he and Lily were inseparable.
Now, though, it was a little less black and white.
… I was there when you said "Forever and always"
You didn't mean it, baby
I don't think so
They were supposed to be inseparable. It was how their story would go.
Lily and Severus had a whole plan made out – they would go to Hogwarts together, graduate together, become Potioneers together (perhaps even invent their own potions!), retire together… but then The Incident by the lake changed everything.
It brought back a memory…
Lily was crying – softly, silently – in the Kitchens. James Potter had just pulled a particularly nasty prank on her, and she just couldn't handle it anymore. Severus found her.
"Hey, Lil, are you okay?" He said worriedly, rushing to her side. She didn't say anything.
His mouth twisted into a scowl. "Was it Potter and his mates again?" he asked bitterly. She nodded. "Those –" he began bitterly, but then cut himself off. Now was not the time. "You don't need him, remember? He doesn't deserve your thoughts, let alone your friendship. Plus –" he smiled slightly – "– You have me."
She knew, now, that he didn't mean it.
Back up, baby, back up
Did you forget everything?
Back up, baby, back up
Did you forget everything?
Their first Hogsmeade trip of Seventh Year happened in early December. Severus bundled up and walked outside, hoping for some fresh winter air before he returned to sulking in the dormitory. And perhaps he could catch sight of Lily. Sitting on a bench with some hot coffee, he saw something that made his heart drop into his stomach.
Lily Evans was wearing a thick green sweater, and talking and laughing with the Marauders.
He watched, devastated, as she playfully hit James over the head about something he said. Sirius and Peter laughed, and Remus muttered something in her ear that made her cheeks turn crimson.
Severus had half a mind to go up there and confront her. But he knew that situation wouldn't end well, so he instead casted a Disillusionment Charm on himself and chose to follow them.
Back up, baby, back up
Please back up, oh, back up
Back up, baby, back up
He followed Lily and the Marauders down the road of Hogsmeade, then watched as the group slowly broke up – Remus headed to Honeydukes, and Peter went to Madam Puddifoot's for a date. Finally, Sirius made his way to Zonko's, until it was only Lily and James left.
Severus watched as James grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her off into a small alley. He didn't miss the blush on her face. Lily punched him on the shoulder – but a second later, both of them doubled over laughing. Perhaps it was an inside joke… and Severus wasn't included.
Lily and James began to have a mock duel, and Severus almost laughed when she turned his hair hot pink. But then just a moment later, he had pinned her to the wall and they began talking in low voices.
"Stop making me blush," Lily whispered.
James smirked. "How could I? That's my job, after all."
Severus couldn't bear to look as they closed the gap between them.
You didn't mean it, baby
You said "Forever and always", yeah
The next day, when Lily and James walked into the Great Hall holding hands, Severus knew.
He would never mean anything to Lily, just another potential love story that never worked.
With nothing else to do, Severus turned to one of his classmates – Mulciber – and began, as casually as he could, "I hear you're forming a group of the Dark Lord's supporters. Do I have the privilege to join?"
Because unrequited love was worthless.
A/N: Hi guys! I know I haven't posted for long, but mix extra work with procrastination and this is what you get. Sorry! Anyway, Forever and Always (Piano Version) is one of my favourite song by Taylor Swift, and I think it describes Severus and Lily's relationship perfectly. It's much slower, calmer and more heartbreaking than the original, and the bridge makes me want to cry every time. I recommend listening to each verse while reading the story. I procrastinated way too much on writing this, but I hope it makes up for the long gap.
Also, Severus Snape is by no means my favourite character. I don't like the way he treated Harry, and - up to a certain point - even Lily and the Marauders. So I basically took this as a challenge, to a) write a story which sympathizes with Snape, and b) write a songfic. Thanks for reading, and please review!
P.S. Suggest a few more songfic ideas I can do? Preferably from Fearless/Speak Now and with a story that can relate to the Marauders/Lily.