AN: As much as it pains me to say it, it may start becoming just a little bit longer between updates. I used to have a solid chunk of time every Monday to write, but I don't have that anymore, so now most of my writing will get done every other weekend. I'm sorry about that. I wish I had more time to write too. A full time job, husband, and kid kind of take up most of my time. That being said, I hope you enjoy!

Drake was ready to go home. He and Josh had been in the hospital for three days now, and he wasn't sure how many more questions from doctors and nurses and psychiatrists and police he could take. Giving his statement to the police had been awful, but he'd survived. What had been harder, somehow, was being away from Josh while his brother was giving his own statement. He knew that Josh was going to be okay, but it had been so hard to sit with his family and Mindy and pretend that everything was okay when it wasn't. Drake could forgive them for not knowing how to act around him, he wouldn't know how to act around him either, but that didn't make it easy to deal with the way they looked at him like he was broken - he already knew he was broken beyond repair this time, he didn't need the sadness in their eyes to emphasize that. But when Josh was with him, everything was a lot easier. He could defer to Josh and let him do the talking, and then everyone paid just a little less attention to Drake, and it was like he could actually breathe. Without Josh, breathing was a lot harder.

But as much as Drake was ready to go home, what was he supposed to do when he got there? Go back to school and act like nothing had happened? Everyone knew. It was all over the news and everyone at school surely knew exactly what had happened and what had been done to him. How were they going to treat him? How were girls going to look at him, knowing the position he'd been forced into? Before, no matter what, even after everything with his father and what happened in Hollywood, he'd been able to put it all aside and be the easygoing, fun loving, popular kid in a band that everyone knew him as and expected him to be. But now? Drake wasn't sure he would've been able to keep up the facade even if no one knew what had happened to him. But knowing that everyone knew? He didn't have a chance at it. The news may not have reported the gritty details of what was done to him, but they'd reported plenty that he and Josh had been kidnapped by a serial killer and rapist. It wasn't going to take a genius to figure out what exactly happened, and once one person did, it was going to spread around the school like wildfire. And something like that was going to impact school life a lot more than the silly rumor he'd concocted one time about Josh eating squirrels.

Apart from everyone knowing, school was also going to be harder because he wouldn't be able to have Josh with him the entire time. They had chemistry and English together, and the same lunch period, but that was it. The rest of Josh's classes were all classes for super smart people, like AP calculus and various science electives or something like that. Really, Drake wasn't sure exactly what other classes Josh had, just that they were for smart kids. They took the same history course, but they had the class at different times. At least Drake had that class with Mindy, which he'd never considered a benefit until now. As for the rest of Drake's classes, he had algebra and gym and a music theory class that he actually put effort into and an art class that he did not, despite the fact that his teacher told him he showed a lot of promise and just needed to apply himself. He had a bunch of other stupid kids like him in his algebra class - it wasn't just the regular underclassman course, it was specifically for dumb kids like him who had failed it the first time - and he wasn't friends with any of them. He had the nerds in gym with him, as well as a bunch of popular jocks who took exclusively gym classes as their electives, but his relationship with those jocks had always been tenuous at best anyway. That was part of the reason why he usually skipped that class. His music theory class wasn't bad, but that was more so because it was actually easy for him, rather than the company. Some of his ex band members were in that class with him, as well as pretentious drama kids who thought that his music wasn't "real" music. As for the art class, Drake didn't even know who else was in that class. He always skipped it. The assignments were pass or fail, you either turned them in or you didn't, so as long as Drake did the bare minimum and actually turned in the assignments, he got a decent enough grade in the class that he didn't even need to show up.

Maybe Drake would skip all of his classes and just go to Josh's classes with him. Could they really send him away? The teachers of course would know what had happened to him too. If he just looked up at them and said that he needed this brother, would they be so heartless to send him to the principal's office?

But at the same time, what would people say if he stayed glued to Josh twenty-four-seven like he really wanted to? Would that just make what other kids said even worse? Drake didn't know what to do, but pretty soon, he was going to have to figure it out.

"Are you guys sure you're okay for us to go?" Walter asked, his hand on Josh's shoulder.

"We'll be okay," Josh assured him with a soft smile. "Mom will still be here. You guys should go get some rest at home. We're going home tomorrow anyway."

Walter returned the soft smile and nodded, then stood up. He stepped over to Drake and held out his arms, but didn't move to hug him until Drake reached up for him. Drake allowed himself to be enveloped in his stepfather's arms. He let his head rest against Walter's chest and closed his eyes as Walter held him close. As much as Drake didn't want to admit it, he could see where Josh got his ability to give great hugs.

"I love you, Drake," Walter softly said, unmoving.

"I love you, too," Drake responded. His words were muffled and spoken into Walter's sweatshirt, but based on the way that Walter's hold on him tightened ever so slightly, Drake was sure that his stepdad had heard the rare admission.

The moment that Walter let go, Drake missed the embrace, but he didn't try to hold on. That would only concern him and everyone was already worried enough as it was. So he let Walter stand and give Josh a hug, and pulled the blankets up around himself more as she fought against the cold that seemed to have permanently seeped into his bones. He just couldn't get warm anymore.

"I'm glad you guys are coming home tomorrow," Megan said, briefly smiling at both of them before following Walter out the door, leaving the boys with just Audrey. Mindy had stopped by for a few hours after school, but her parents had demanded her home sooner.

"Since the hospital food is getting pretty old, how would you boys feel about me ordering you a pizza?" Audrey asked with a grin. "That certainly sounds a lot better to me than dry chicken and tasteless vegetables from the cafeteria here."

"That sounds good," Josh replied. He turned to Drake.

"Yeah, that sounds nice I guess," Drake affirmed. Audrey grinned and stepped into the hallway to call the pizza place and order.

Pizza didn't really sound all that great, but Drake supposed there was a chance that it would be better than the hospital food. Maybe all he needed was to stuff his face with junk food and he would feel like his old self again. If someone put some chocolate in front of his face, Drake wasn't sure he would automatically push it away, and he supposed that in and of itself was progress. Actually, some of Josh's brownies sounded really good.

"When we get home," Drake hesitantly started, turning back to Josh. "Can you make me your fudgy boo brownies?"

Josh sighed, but smiled and nodded.

"We really don't need to keep calling them that, but I'll see what I can do," he said. "It might be a little tricky with this." He gestured towards his arm in the sling, where it would stay for at least another month as it healed.

"I can help," Drake offered. He'd never cooked before in his life - or was that baking? - but he would do anything that Josh needed him to.

"You wanna help me bake brownies?" Josh confirmed. "Aside from the salsa contest, you've never willingly helped me in the kitchen in your life."

"I just really want those brownies," Drake muttered, looking away. "I don't know, I guess it's just one normal thing I actually really do want, and I just want to feel normal again, that's all."

"Of course you can help me," Josh said. Drake could see him ducking his head to try to catch Drake's gaze out of the corner of his eye. Drake obliged, and gave a small smile back at his brother.

"I just hope they turn out as good as they do when you make them," Drake added with a shrug. "I don't wanna ruin them."

"It's not that hard, Drake." Josh was smiling fondly at him as he shook his head. "The key is to add more chocolate than you think you should, always."

"But then I would just keep adding more and more and more and more," Drake pointed out. There wasn't such a thing as too much chocolate. That just didn't exist.

"Okay, well you can't add quite that much if you want a big boy like me to be able to eat any of them." Josh was grinning even as he patted his stomach.

"Josh," Drake groaned. "You're fine. You've worked so hard over the past year, I think you'll be okay if you eat one single ultra mega chocolate explosion brownie, or whatever it is that I'm gonna create." Drake couldn't help but chuckle at his own nonsense. It felt good to joke around with Josh about brownies.

"Is that what you're gonna call them?"

"It's better than 'fudgy boos'."

Josh stared at him, opening and closing his mouth again and again to respond, but ultimately nodded and raised a hand in surrender. Drake chuckled again, delighted to have won against Josh again.

Audrey entered the room again to see them laughing.

"What am I missing out on?" she asked, a smile creeping up on her face.

"Drake is gonna make brownies when we get home," Josh said. "You can see the cause for laughter."

"No," Drake interjected. "We're laughing because I'm hilarious. James may have taken my virginity but he didn't take my sense of humor."

Josh's laughter stopped as quickly as Audrey's smile fell. Tears built up in her eyes. Drake looked away from them, tears filling his own as the heat of embarrassment colored his face.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have said that, I don't- I-."

"Sweetie, it's okay," Audrey interrupted. His head still down, Drake looked up at her and tracked her movements as she came to sit next to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Josh staring straight ahead, hand gripping the blanket so hard his knuckles were white. "No one can tell you that you are or aren't reacting the right way about all of this. If joking about it helps, then I'm never gonna tell you not to. I just want you to be okay, honey." Even as a tear slipped down her face, Audrey smiled at him and began rubbing his forearm. He wiped at his own eyes in an attempt to keep the tears from falling. Josh was still quiet, not looking at him. He looked angry.

"I'm sorry, Josh," he repeated. "I didn't mean-."

"I'm not mad at you," Josh cut him off, his voice monotone. He still wasn't looking at him. "It's not your fault. None of this is your fault." Josh shook his head. He finally turned and looked at Drake. He still looked angry, but there were tears in his eyes too. "I wish I'd killed him when I hit him. I want to kill him for what he did to you. He didn't have any right to do that, to take that from you. He deserves to die for what he's done." The tears began to fall, but Josh's face was twisted in a scowl like Drake had never seen. Josh looked unrecognizable to that wide eyed, chubby kid that had moved in with him only two years earlier, who had needed Drake's help and social support. Now, Josh was the protector, the one who stepped in front of Drake and became enraged on his behalf. And that extended to a desire to seek revenge. Was Josh even Josh anymore?

"That's not on you," Drake said. He desperately wanted to turn and make sure his mother was okay - she'd been silent since Josh spoke - but he had to make sure that Josh knew this first. "That's not your responsibility to make that happen."

"It shouldn't be yours either," Josh followed up.

"It's neither of yours," Audrey added, her voice firm despite the tears that continued to fall down her face. "That's what the police are going to do. They have a solid ID on him. His face is going to be all over the news, on TV, online, in newspapers. Everyone is going to see his face, and he's going to get caught. That monster will pay for what he's done, I promise you."

"He better," Josh continued. There was something dark in his face that Drake didn't recognize, but it did bring the slightest smile to own face to know that it was out of a desire to protect him. Drake had never had someone want to protect him like that before, except for maybe his mother.

"He will," Audrey affirmed. She smiled and nodded, wiping away her tears. "Are you boys gonna be okay if I go take a shower before the pizza gets here?"

The brothers nodded.

"Sure, Mom," Josh said. "I love you." He looked at her apologetically, that former darkness in his eyes gone.

"I love you, too, sweetie. Both of you." Audrey smiled at them again before turning around, grabbing her bag, and excusing herself to the bathroom.

"Again, I'm sorry," Drake repeated once the door was closed. "I don't know why I said that, I just- I-."

"Dude, stop apologizing," Josh admonished, gently yet firmly. Drake looked over at his brother and saw only love in his eyes. "Like Mom said, who are we to tell you what is and isn't an okay way to react to this? If joking about it helps, then do that, at least until you get back in with Dr. Stein." Drake opened his mouth to cut Josh off, but his brother kept going. "I know, I know, you hate Dr. Stein, I already told Mom and Dad. They've agreed to find a different therapist for you, one more suitable for your age."

Drake nodded. He supposed that Josh was right. Until he had someone who actually really knew what they were talking about to tell him how to cope with what happened, maybe the best course of action was just to do what made him feel better at the time being, at least when it came to little things, like making bad jokes. As much as he didn't want to see another therapist, Dr. Stein had been able to help him in the past, and Drake knew that his parents would force him to go whether he wanted to or not. It was probably for the best anyway. At least a therapist could probably tell him what to tell kids at school. As much as Drake was looking forward to getting out of the hospital, part of him was dreading going back.

"What do you think it's gonna be like, when we go back?" Drake asked. He began fiddling with a loose string on the blanket. "Back to school, I mean."

Josh sighed, running a hand over his face the way he always did when he was stressed and tired. Maybe Drake shouldn't have asked.

"Honestly, I don't know," Josh said. He shrugged with his good shoulder and shook his head. "From what Mindy's said, it sounds like a lot of people already know what happened, and those who don't are gonna find out soon enough. Even if no one tells them, I'm sure they're gonna figure it out, at least partly. I don't know what they're gonna say, how they're gonna act. Maybe everything will be completely normal and we'll be surprised."

"It can't be normal," Drake replied, despite knowing that Josh was being sarcastic. "I don't know how to be normal after this. Just the thought of going up to a random girl and making out with her, her touching me." He stopped, shaking his head and taking a deep breath. "I'm going to be different. It was one thing to pretend everything was fine when my dad was hitting me or when he left, or even after what happened this summer, but this?" A tear slipped down his face, his voice breaking. "This is too much, Josh. I can't pretend that this didn't happen and that everything is normal, especially since they already know. They didn't know about my dad, or about Hollywood. They always expected me to be normal, so I was, but now? I don't even know what they're expecting."

"It doesn't matter what they're expecting," Josh interjected. "You do whatever you have to do. I'm sure I'm gonna be a little different too. After what happened, I think people would be more surprised if we were totally fine. We just do what we have to do, and we probably won't find out what exactly that is until we go back."

Drake nodded, looking away from Josh and back at the string he was fiddling with.

"I just don't know what I'm gonna do in some of my classes," he finally said. At Josh's continued silence, he continued. "Like algebra. You're not in algebra with me. No one is, not anyone that I trust in the slightest. At least in gym I have the nerds with me, and Mindy in history. They're better than nothing."

"I know," Josh responded, looking away from his brother. "I'm worried about that too. Not just about your classes, but mine. Even my classes with Mindy and our other friends. It's gonna be hard not to worry about you."

Drake cringed. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything.

"I didn't mean to make you worry about me being alone," he said. "I'm sure it won't be that bad. It's not like I pay attention in most of my classes anyway."

"I was always gonna worry about you being alone," Josh replied with a soft smile. "You didn't make me worry. But you're right, it's gonna be okay. I'm sure it won't be as bad as we think. Besides, we still have chemistry and English and lunch together. We'll see each other throughout the day, so we'll still be able to check up on each other. And my teachers all love me, so if I need to leave class for you, they're not gonna mind. Being a teacher's pet pays off, you know."

"But at what nerdy cost?" Drake fired back with a grin of his own. It quickly fell. "Besides, it's too late for that for me anyway. There's no way Mrs. Hayfer would ever let me do anything. She hates me."

"Well lucky for you, I'm in her class with you, and her love of me trumps her hatred of you. If we need to leave class for some reason, she'll let us, as long as I'm the one asking. We'll be okay. I'm sure getting back to school will be good for us. Some normalcy."

"How normal could it be if there's cops following us?" Drake pointed out. There had been two deputies by the doors ever since they arrived at the hospital, and so far, they hadn't been told that the extra security would cease upon them being discharged. If anything, it seemed more likely to pick up, since now that the FBI was involved, the San Diego County Sheriff's Office didn't have to spend quite as many resources on investigating, and could thus delegate more to protection.

"It's not like they're gonna follow us around school, into every class," Josh said. "It'll be like the school resource officer we already have, just more of them. That's not gonna be a big difference."

Drake nodded. Josh was probably right. He was right about most things, seeing logic that just didn't occur to Drake. Maybe it was brain damage from all the concussions his dad had given him over the years.

"How long do you think they'll stay?" he asked. "If they don't find James, how long can they keep protecting us?"

"I don't know." Josh sighed and shook his head. He glanced at the door, where two deputies were positioned just outside. "Hopefully they'll catch James soon and we won't have to find out the answer to that question."

"Yeah, I hope so."

Before Drake could continue, the bathroom door opened and their mother stepped back out. She looked more relaxed than she had before, and comfy, so that was good at least.

"I'll be back up with the pizza in a few minutes," she said, slipping her shoes on. "Do you boys need anything else while I'm downstairs?"

"I'm okay," Josh replied. "You?" He turned to his brother.

Drake sat there for a moment, contemplating, before he finally, hesitantly asked, "chocolate milk?"

"You've got it, sweetie," Audrey said with a smile. "I'll be back soon."

Drake relaxed against his pillows once the door shut behind her. She was doing a really great job at acting like everything was okay, but Drake knew this was all eating her up inside.

"How do we help them?" he asked Josh.

"Huh?"

"How do we help Mom and Dad? And even Megan?" Drake clarified. "They're trying so hard for us, but I know this isn't easy on them either. Megan hasn't said one rude thing or tried to kill us since we got here. I never would've thought that I would miss what she does, but her not doing it just points out how weird everything is, ya know?"

"Yeah, her lack of usual deviousness does emphasize the situation more," Josh admitted. "But I say we should take the wins where we can get them. Yeah, it highlights that things are weird, but it is nice to just not have to worry about what she's gonna do next. You gotta appreciate that while we have it, since there's no way it's gonna last."

"I know, you're right, you're right." Drake sighed. "But that doesn't answer my question of how we help them. I hate seeing Mom cry, but half of what she does is cry when she looks at me. I don't want to make her cry anymore."

"Hey, that's not your fault. You're not the one making her cry." Josh craned his head over to catch Drake's gaze. "She's not crying because of you, she's crying because she's your mom, and she wasn't able to protect you from James. Seeing someone you love so much, suffering, it's-," Josh's voice broke off for a moment as tears filled his eyes. "It's really hard, Drake, especially when you feel like you were supposed to protect them and you failed in your job. So it will probably be a while before she stops seeing her perceived failure when she looks at the pain in your eyes. For now, the best thing we can do for her is just to show that you're okay, and I know that's gonna be a challenge, because you're not okay, but showing healing, and improvement? That's gonna go a long way. It's going to be a long process no matter what, but she'll be okay as long as you're okay. Everyone will be okay if you are."

"And what if I'm not?" Drake knew that wasn't a fair question to ask, but he could help but stare at his brother, hoping beyond hope that Josh would have an answer that would fix everything.

"I'll be with you until you are, and even then, I'm not gonna leave," Josh answered, his voice more serious than it ever was. "Until the Big One hits and California is separated from the rest of the country and drifts off into the ocean, and even after that, I'm not gonna leave you. I'm never gonna leave you."

Drake didn't know what to say. He just nodded as tears slipped down his face. More than anything, he wanted to get out his cot, crawl into Josh's, and just be held by his brother. It wasn't exactly like it had been in the cage, but the different hospital beds and IV poles demanded a certain degree of separation from Josh that Drake hated. That was another reason why he couldn't wait to be out of the hospital. When they were home, they wouldn't have to have that distance unless they chose it themselves.

The door opened, stealing Drake's attention. He quickly wiped his tears away as his mom came back into the room with pizza, Dr. Fizz, and chocolate milk. Despite believing that he hadn't been hungry, Drake's stomach growled as soon as the smell of the pizza hit him, and his mouth began to water.

"Here we go," Audrey said, setting the pizza down on the table and opening up the box, further allowing the scent to waft throughout the small hospital room. She set down some paper plates next to it, then handed Drake the chocolate milk, and Josh a can of Dr. Fizz. Audrey then set two slices of pizza on each plate, and handed them to her sons. "Enjoy," she said, with all the love in her eyes.

"Thanks, Mom," Drake replied before digging in. He supposed he had been hungrier than he'd thought, at least hungry for something that wasn't hospital food.

"This is amazing," Josh practically moaned through a mouthful of food.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Audrey said, although her own mouth was also full at the time. The three looked at each other and giggled, enjoying their meal.

At that moment, things finally did feel normal. Family teasing each other, stuffing his face full of junk food, surrounded by people he loved. If Drake could hold on to moments like that, maybe he really would be okay.