Here's chapter 15 - enjoy!
Despite attending a school which boasted more after-hours activities than all the others in the area combined, the students Hollywood Arts sure were keen to evacuate the halls almost immediately as the bell tolled, and Tori and her new gang were no different. She, Beck, Andre and Robbie had congregated in the hall after attending different classes, and now they headed towards the exit together.
"Hey, you know what we should do - a poker night at mine! Huh, sounds good right?" Tori smiled, playfully nudging the boys beside her.
Andre had to stifle a groan. His grandma had kept him up all night complaining that the world was ending because the sun had died. It had taken hours for him to convince her that, no, it was just nighttime. He just wanted to get through the school day and get home to his bed, but that would mean missing out on socialising with his friends, and he could only do that so many times before they began to forget he was ever even invited.
So a "Yeah, sounds cool." was, of course, his response.
"Sorry Tor, no can do." Beck apologised, and Andre could've kissed him. The fact that Jade was nowhere to be seen made this all the more tempting.
"What? How come? Don't say it's the baby - Jade can watch him. Pleaseee. We haven't all hung out in ages." Tori pleaded.
Beck smiled and shook his head. "Jade's actually already watching him. I'm at work."
"But you don't work on Wednesdays." Tori replied before she could stop herself. Not that she remembered his exact schedule or anything.
"Not Subway." He smirked. "Proper work. I have a shoot."
"You got cast in something?" Tori gasped, excitedly.
"No, it's modelling not acting. Still, if it pays the bills." He shrugged.
"Congrats, dude, that's awesome!" Tori grinned, patting his arm.
"What kind of modelling is it?" Robbie asked curiously.
"I'm not sure. They didn't give me too many details. I got the job kinda randomly."
"Did they tell you if there'll be any ladies there?" Rex asked crudely.
Beck furrowed his brow. "No, they didn't."
"Aw, that's too bad. Models are always smokin'"
"Don't let Jade hear that, or she'll steal your car keys." Andre joked, earning a serious look from Beck.
"She's not that jealous..." Beck began, earning incredulous looks from the others. "Okay, she is, so don't say that in front of her."
Tori laughed. "She's got to know that there might be girls there, though. Surely she's not so jealous that she would get annoyed at that?"
"Well you see, Jade doesn't exactly know." Beck replied awkwardly.
"What?" The group chorused.
"I kinda just told her I'm at work."
"Aw man, she's gonna go psycho when she finds out you're hanging with hot chicks instead of sandwiches." Rex complained.
"She's not, it's fine, I'll tell her after." Beck said with somewhat shaky confidence. "I just haven't had the chance yet. Anyway, I'd better get going." He added, checking the time on his phone. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." He waved, walking away from the conversation more than towards his upcoming job.
"Well good luck to him." Tori joked.
"Yeah. I don't get why he does this though. She's bound to find out and be even more annoyed." Andre commented, shaking his head.
"I don't know. If he felt like he could tell her without her going crazy I'm sure he would." Tori replied. Andre didn't seem to have an answer for that; Tori couldn't help but feel that their perspectives on the troubled couple's relationship were slightly different.
"So, for this poker night, is there a dress code? Because I got these new pants at the mall yesterday and I'm not sure whether they'll be too dressy." Robbie said, changing the subject.
"Oh, I'm not sure we're doing it any more because of Beck's shoot." Tori replied.
"Yeah, we might have to wait until Beck hasn't got plans to hang around with a bunch of hot girls." Andre joked nervously, eager for the plans to remain cancelled.
"Beck has plans to what?"
Oh no.
For a particularly striking person, Jade West sure had an uncanny ability to sneak up on you when you least expected it, something which Tori was beginning to learn.
"Oh, um, I mean. I gotta go." Andre stuttered, before quite literally sprinting out of the school.
Unfazed, Jade turned to Robbie, who began to squeak before running in the opposite direction, ostensibly towards the boys' bathrooms.
Which left only Tori to answer the terrifying girl's question. Lucky her.
"Care to explain, Vega?"
"Um, well, you see," Tori mumbled. "Beck has a shoot right now, which I'm sure you knew, and Andre was just making a little joke and- and-"
"Beck has a shoot?"
"I think so." Tori stuttered.
"What kind of shoot?"
"A modelling kind of shoot?" She winced.
Jade nodded her head slowly. "Okay. You can go now."
Tori took the invitation in no time, following Andre's suit in a bid to avoid Robbie's incontinent fate. She could only imagine that Jade would be shooting towards Beck whatever virtual arrows she could find, but she wasn't about to stick around to find out. She would just have to apologise to him later - that is if he survived.
Jade, however, didn't quite know how to feel. She was angry, sure, but there was also another, deep, stomach-sinking feeling that seemed to choke in her throat. It wasn't an unfamiliar sensation, but one that seemed to arise whenever she doubted her relationship, or her ability as a mother, or her talent. So quite frequently these days, really.
Around her, people bustled by, eager to get back to their normal homes with their normal families, devoid of any three month-olds or their compulsive liar of a father. It only took a moment for her to snap out of her trance and follow suit, marching purposefully out of the doors. She couldn't stand being around these people any more; they just reminded her of what she no longer had.
On her way back from school, Jade dropped by daycare to pick up Toby from the women she entrusted with his life everyday. She liked to phrase it that way because that was truly how it felt to her. Even after scouring every single parenting book available whilst pregnant, she hadn't anticipated that part of raising a child - the fears that consumed her whenever she couldn't hold him in her eyes. Toby was so fragile, so reliant on others, and Jade couldn't help but feel that trust was such a flimsy concept to balance his little life upon. Beck would laugh at her for this, calling her a worrywart in a manner which inspired a scowl upon her face. He just didn't seem to get that there was always the possibility that Toby could be in danger, and if the two people that cared about his life more than anything else in the world weren't there, then how could they be sure that he was safe?
On this day, fortunately for Jade's peace of mind, the counter for 'days Toby remains unharmed' chalked up another tally, as Rose from the daycare passed him over without so much as a scratch upon him. Jade received him gratefully, before stalking out of the place as fast as possible. She hated it in there. It was full of crying babies that weren't hers, nursery staff that revealed their judgement of her age and life choices with their half-caught words and wandering stares, and reminders that she would always be reliant on her mother's money. The rooms felt hot and claustrophobic. They smelled like parenthood. She was only 16.
Toby was a nightmare for the entire drive home. At this point, though, Jade was sure that she possessed a permanent headache, so it just combined into one incessant, droning pain. She'd checked Toby's car seat straps before they left, he'd eaten and been changed at nursery, and it was far from too hot in the car. Her mind ran through all the possibilities for his discomfort, but she could only settle on the theory that he was crying just to cry.
When they finally arrived at the house, Jade took him out of the car and cradled him to her chest until he calmed down, knowing that Amber would rip her head off if she announced her presence with the sound of a wailing baby. She and her sister had never been particularly close, but Toby's birth had given Amber a reason to intensify her dislike of her younger sister. Now she not only had something to complain about, but she also had a reason to look down on Jade. How embarrassing for her to have got knocked up so young, whilst her elder sister had so far avoided that fate.
Jade unlocked the door and took Toby into the kitchen to get the two of them some sustenance for the several hours locked away in her room that she could foresee. The baby grumbled as he was placed in the high chair and his mother turned her back on him, but fortunately decided against making another scene.
"Do you think Toby likes chicken nuggets?"
Jade hadn't even heard Luke enter the kitchen. Her little brother was the type to clang around like pots and pans whenever he entered a room, but she'd been so in her own world that she hadn't registered his presence.
"He doesn't have any teeth, Luke. He can't eat chicken nuggets."
"That's so sad. Everyone should be able to eat chicken nuggets." Luke replied, holding his hand out for the curious baby in the highchair.
"I'm sure he'll have plenty when he's older."
"I'll give him lots when he's older. I'll be the best big uncle to him."
Jade smirked. "I'm sure you will. You're already his favourite uncle."
Luke gasped excitedly. "He prefers me to Zac?"
Jade smiled and bent down closer to Luke. "Shhh, he told me to keep that a secret."
Luke beamed.
"I'm excited for when he's big and he can play with me."
"Still got a few years until then, Lukey. You'll be my age by the time he's your age."
"Oh. Do you think I'll have a baby when I'm your age?"
Jades eyes bulged at the thought of her mother hearing that. "God, I hope not."
"Why not?"
Jade bit her lip, unsure of how much to share with her fetus brother. "Because it's not good to have a baby at this age."
"Why not? You have one."
"Yeah, but it's not easy. And mom wasn't very happy that I had a baby, do you remember?"
Luke shook his head. "No. I thought mommy loves Toby."
Jade sighed. This was complicated. "She does, but... it's difficult. It's difficult, Luke."
"Do lots of your friends have babies?" Luke asked, curiously and Jade opened her mouth cautiously, knowing the vulnerability of the situation.
"Luke, that's where you are!" Jade's mother, Katherine, came sauntering in, shooting Jade a critical look. She'd definitely heard that last question.
"You told me to wait for you in the kitchen." Luke noted, confused.
"Hmm, yes. Of course." Katherine stumbled, not taking her eyes off her daughter. Jade rolled her eyes. "Why don't you go into the den and I'll make you a PB ?"
"But I was talking to Jade."
"Now please, Luke."
Confused and a little annoyed, Luke huffed and shuffled next door, leaving the two women alone in the kitchen.
"Jade, I don't want you talking to Luke about those kind of things."
"I can't stop him asking questions." Jade spat back in response.
Katherine sighed in frustration. "You can stop answering them. God, Jade, he's eight years old, he doesn't understand sex or babies or being a teenager and the last thing he needs is thinking that having a baby at 16 is normal."
"Yeah, cause god forbid he turns out like me, right?" Jade said sarcastically.
"That's not what I meant."
"You don't have to say it, mom. That always what you mean."
A silence descended on the room. Both Jade and Katherine knew that denial was misplaced here. Too much had already been said.
Jade reluctantly lingered in the kitchen as Toby's bottles sterilised beside her. She could tell that Katherine was going to talk again, and that it was probably going to be some kind of faux-motherly inquiry.
"So, how's your friend Cat? I haven't seen her in a while."
Bingo.
"She's good. She's got a new boyfriend, so I think she's really happy at the moment."
"That's nice. And how about your other friends? Andre, is it?"
"You don't have to pretend to be interested in my life, mom." Jade replied, gently taking Toby from the high chair.
"Jade-"
"I thought you were making Luke a sandwich." She said as her final remark, before leaving the kitchen and her mother open-mouthed.
Her next few hours consisted of the perfect mixture of stress and boredom - the life of a teenage mother trying her hardest to remain in school. Beck messaged her a few times, but she felt too mad to even look at them, let alone reply. She could tell by the increasing frequency that he was irked by this, but this did nothing to convince her to pick up her phone. If he needed to talk to someone so badly then why didn't he just speak to the gorgeous models he'd decided to spend his afternoon with?
Then the calls started. He was nothing but persistent, she'd give him that. But she wasn't interested in anything he had to say.
On the other side of these calls, Beck Oliver was getting increasingly confused and worried. Throughout his relationship, his girlfriend had always been a quick replier, which he could probably attribute to her possessiveness over him. That had waned a little when Toby had arrived and begun to take up so much of her time, but she never usually took this long to respond. He'd messaged her a few times throughout the shoot, the guilt he had from lying to her dancing upon his conscience, but she was still yet to reply. As he finished up the shoot, he said goodbye to everyone and headed out to his car, tapping Jade's contact almost immediately after leaving the building.
She still didn't pick up.
Now he was getting very concerned. Could she have crashed her car on the way back from school? Or fainted at school? Or had something happened to Toby?
He called again. Still no reply.
"Come on Jade." He murmured under his breath as he swung into the driver's seat.
He tapped on her name once again, willing her to respond before he began checking the news for dramatic car crashes in the area. Third time lucky, eh?
The trills from the phone rang out around the car as Beck nervously tapped the steering wheel. He just wanted to hear her voice, to know she was okay, to-
"Stop calling me!" Jade spat down the line as she picked up, causing Beck to do a double take.
"Um, why?" Beck replied, his relief that she wasn't buried in a ravine somewhere immediately dimmed by her biting tone.
"Because I don't want to talk to you."
"Why not? Jade, what's happened?"
"What's going on is that you're a big fat liar!" Jade hissed and he suddenly felt as though he knew what was going on.
"Jade-"
"Don't even try. I'm not interested and I don't want to talk to you. Find someone else to lie to. I'm sure Tori would be a willing participant."
Beck sighed. "I'm still coming over now to see Toby."
On the other end of the line, he heard her curse before the phone went dead.
Ah, Jade West, mature as ever. But at least she hadn't said no.
"If I wasn't holding our son right now I'd slam this door in your face."
Beck was used to Jade's snappy responses, but it was beginning to feel like de ja vu - the amount of times recently that she'd answered the door and given him a mouthful of vitriol. He didn't even bother replying this time, knowing full well that she wasn't joking, and instead simply followed her upstairs into her room.
"So... I assume you're going to try to explain yourself in the most irritating way possible?" Jade said once they were seated, on opposite ends of the room obviously, she defiantly sat on her bed and he defeatedly slouched in her desk chair.
"That's the goal." He replied sarcastically. She shot daggers at him in response. "Jade, this is exactly why I didn't tell you. It's just work and look how it's making you act."
"God, I hate it when you do that. You get to lie and blame it on me." She retorted, her irritation causing her decibels to rise far louder than intended. Toby, being bounced lightly on her knee, whined slightly, almost warning her to calm down. "I'm reacting like this because you lied to me, not because of the stupid shoot." She continued, in a whisper-shout.
"You always react like this!" Beck replied, exasperated.
"You always lie!" She yelled, and this time Toby acted on his warning, beginning to wail and writhe in his mother's arms, as though he could sense the fury that had begun to taint her blood.
Beck got up to take the baby, sharing the same sentiment. Jade was a pain in the ass, but she dealt with Toby's tantrums 90% of the time - he could at least handle it whilst he was physically present.
Jade felt her heart twinge as she handed over the child. There was something in the act which felt like failure. And Toby was crying because of her - that was a fact. It seemed wrong to pass him over before she could make up for her mistakes.
It was then that Amber decided to make a dramatic entrance into the room, flinging the door open and unleashing a strand of fury that Beck thought must only be native to the daughters of Katherine West.
"Would you two shut the hell up and for once make an effort to keep that baby from crying?"
The pair's eyes shot to the intruder, dressed in a get-up of sweatpants and a hoodie which would have cancelled out her scariness had she not possessed the aforementioned rage of a thousand suns.
"I'm trying to revise and all I can hear is that baby crying because you two won't stop screaming at each other! If you hate each other that much then break up, or at least go argue somewhere a thousand miles away from me. Thank you!" She yelled, before turning on her heel and slamming the door, seemingly deciding that any more noise would simply blend in with Toby's incessant crying.
"You heard her." Jade crossed her arms and avoided his gaze. "If you hate me so much then break up with me."
"Jesus, Jade," Beck groaned. "I don't hate you. You know I don't hate you - I just wish you weren't so jealous all the time. It's a modelling shoot which will hopefully get us money for the baby and maybe get me some exposure. It's a good thing, babe."
Jade exhaled in annoyance but bit back the biting remark he was sure she wanted to make.
"I'm happy for you, I really am." She said, a little softer. "But I wish you'd told me. When you lie about stuff like this, it makes me worry about what else you lie about and what you might be doing when I'm not there and- it just makes me feel even more trapped in this little box than I already am, okay? You get the girls and the jobs and the teenage life and what do I get, Beck?"
"You get me, and Toby, and everyone else that loves and cares about you. And just for the record, I don't get 'the girls' - I get you, and that's all I want... all I will ever want. I'm sorry for lying, and I want you to know that I love you and I'm going to be here for you, but I need to be there for Toby too, which means things like this."
Jade bit her lip and nodded.
"Thanks for understanding." He replied, before holding out his hand for her. "Come here."
She pulled herself off the bed and into his embrace, sharing the space with her baby son who was still sniffling into his father's chest. She couldn't help but feel the same way. It was weird; any girl at Hollywood Arts would've killed to have Beck give that speech to them.
So why did she still feel so empty?