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A Dream Within a Dream

Part 1

Chapter 8

The Normandy

"How's it going down there?"

Shepard looked up from where she lay and used the back of her grease smeared hand to wipe the sweat from her forehead. Tali's bright, anxious eyes peered down at her through the small gap in the machinery as Shepard brought the wrench up.

"Okay, I think. I just need to get this last bolt in." She gave it a twist, putting all her strength into getting it as tight as she could. Once she was sure it wasn't going anywhere, she began shimmying out of the tight space she'd wedged herself into. "That should do it."

"Perfect. Thank you, Shepard." Tali gave her a hand as she stood and handed her a rag. Shepard took it and began wiping her hands off as Tali gathered up the tools in a bucket. "It feels good to get that off my to-do list. Those couplings have needed replacing for a while now, but it's much easier to do with a second pair of hands."

"I'm always happy to help," Shepard replied as the two turned to leave. "I like working in engineering, certainly more than I enjoyed helping Vega unload crates of supplies down in the cargo bay yesterday." Tali nodded and laughed as they made their way back up the stairs from the red lit underbelly of the ship.

Shepard really did enjoy working alongside the friendly quarian. The work was interesting, and it made her feel useful. It kept her busy and her mind quiet. Plus, Tali was good company and always had something interesting to talk about.

"I hear you're starting combat training today," Tali said as she put the bucket down and began typing something on one of the keyboards. Shepard scratched the back of her head as she looked away.

"I suppose so," she murmured noncommittally, and Tali looked over at her with a curious tilt of her head.

"Not excited? Usually, it seems like you humans are excited about that part of the training. Are you scared?" Shepard shrugged as she looked back at the quarian.

"It's not that I'm scared," she stood a little taller as she rebuffed the suggestion, "I'm just unconvinced that this is something I'll be any good at. I've never fought anyone before." With a stab of humiliation and loathing, she remembered her one failed punch at Saren on the rooftop.

"Oh, don't worry about that." Tali looked back at her screen as she continued inputting commands. "When I was first unplugged, I was the same way. I grew up in the Quarian Quarter in the Citadel, and I don't know if you ever visited that area, but it's really tight knit and insulated. We really didn't have much occasion for brawling or leaving our neighborhood. It was actually quite safe." She paused as she looked down, her shoulders slumping slightly. "You know, unless we ventured into other areas of the Citadel. You remember how it was. No one there thinks very highly of quarians."

"Yeah." Shepard looked down at her feet as she crossed her arms, suddenly uncomfortable as she thought back to her life in the Citadel. The treatment of the small quarian population in the Citadel was something she'd never given much thought to, as it had never directly affected her or her life. She really hadn't met many quarians, and she'd been close with none of them. The idea that she'd given their mistreatment so little thought was, in retrospect, shameful. "Is it like that on the Fleet, too?"

Tali perked up as she looked back at Shepard, her bright eyes crinkling with a smile. "No, not at all! We're held in high regard on the Fleet, in part due to our knack for engineering and resourceful problem solving. There are many quarian captains, and the captain of the Qwib-Qwib is traditionally always a quarian, if possible. There's even a quarian member of the council!" She paused for a moment, then shrugged. "Then again, there's a member of each species on the council except the drell."

Shepard's eyes widened in surprise as she listened, relieved at Tali's description of their status. It was strange to realize that the culture of this world was so unrelated and detached from the world she'd grown up in. It just emphasized how much more she had to learn.

Behind her, a door opened, and both she and Tali turned to see Garrus step through. Tali gave him a small wave of greeting before nodding to Shepard and returning to her work.

"Ready to get going?" Garrus asked, and Shepard sighed before following him back through the door. She wasn't entirely sure why she was dreading training so badly, but the feeling of ice forming in the pit of her stomach only increased as she climbed the ladder up toward the crew deck.

They walked through the quiet mess hall, and Garrus stopped beside Liara's workstation. He turned to Shepard with a flick of his mandibles and a peculiar expression that she was coming to recognize as something like a crooked smile.

"So," he began as he crossed his arms and raised a brow plate, "are you ready to begin combat training?"

"Err, are you sure I'm cut out for this? Like I've said before, I have zero combat experience," Shepard reminded him slowly as she shoved her hands in her pockets and glanced past him nervously to the sim pods beyond. She'd seen plenty of action vids in her time, and there was no way she could picture herself doing anything like that.

The image of Anderson's disappointed face swam through her imagination. The image of scorn and disdain from her new crew mates, of Garrus turning his back on her in disgust. The image of being removed from the Normandy's crew, shunted aside for some lesser purpose.

Her hands felt clammy as she acknowledged the anxiety. She was finally beginning to feel at home here. She didn't want to lose it simply because she couldn't measure up to their expectations.

"Don't worry, Shepard." Liara peeked out from behind Garrus. "Once you plug into the Codex, I can upload everything you need to know directly to your mind. All it takes is a little time." Shepard stared at her in disbelief.

"Seriously? It's that easy?" She asked incredulously as she frowned, and Garrus rolled his eyes before shaking his head.

"Yes, and no. Yes, we will be uploading all the information you need to get started. But that's only the beginning."

Instead of explaining further, he turned and headed toward the nearest pod. "Liara, get the combat courses loaded up and ready. Shepard, let's get to it."

Swallowing down her nerves, Shepard followed and began the now familiar process of plugging into the simulator. It wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as it had been the first few times, and before she knew it, she was surrounded by the white void of the Codex.

"Okay, we're going to get you started with some basic physical training instruction and conditioning data, followed by beginner self-defense techniques and information." Garrus' voice emanated from her visor as she looked aroundonlyto find herself alone. "We'll work our way through more advanced topics over the next few days, see how you do."

She didn't know what to say to any of that, so she just muttered, "Okay."

"Ready?" Liara asked a moment later, and knowing the asari was watching with unseen eyes, she nodded.

A keystroke later, Shepard's body convulsed as information rushed into her, a sensation she would never be able to put words to. She couldn't process any of it as it occurred, images and knowledge appearing in places within her head where there had been nothing before. The world around her ceased to exist as everything poured into her, filling her up like a bucket. Images clicked into place, and instruction that would have taken hours, days, months, years to impart seemed to coalesce instantly.

It stopped as suddenly as it began, and the data stream released Shepard roughly as she stumbled and nearly fell to her knees. Awareness returned and her head seemed to pulse as her mind raced.

"Holy shit," She breathed heavily as she brought her hands up to rub at her eyes. She knew things now, things she couldn't ever remember being taught. She knew how to use workout equipment she'd never seen before, and she knew how to calibrate them to her needs. She knew how to warm up, how to design a workout, and how to properly cool down afterwards. She knew about her various muscle groups, she understood cardio, strength training, flexibility, kinesiology, and biomechanics. The list went on.

"What do you think?" Garrus asked, and a slow smile spread across Shepard's face.

"I want more."

The quiet noises of the sleeping crew and the old, creaking ship met Garrus' ears as he slowly clawed himself back to consciousness. The room was dark, made darker by his drawn privacy curtain. He stretched and rolled over as he yawned before pushing the curtain aside. Across the narrow room, he could see Shepard's bunk, the curtain hanging open and the bed still yet neatly made. Shepard was nowhere to be found.

Groaning, he pushed his curtain all the way open and shoved the blanket aside. He shivered as he grabbed another sweater and pulled it over his head as he turned to throw his feet over the edge and into his waiting boots. Not even bothering to do up the laces, he made his way out of the room, opening the door as quietly as he could.

Stepping into the mess hall, he sighed as he saw the bright lights of Liara's monitors illuminating the darkened room with a soft blue. He should have expected it when he'd tried to convince Shepard to call it a night at dinnertime and she'd insisted on continuing. He'd checked back in with them before laying down to read in his bunk later in the evening, but he must have fallen asleep.

"What the hell are you guys still doing up?" He growled with exasperation as he approached, and Liara's sleepy gaze snapped up to look at him. Her eyes were unfocused and wide with surprise, and beneath them were dark bags.

"Oh. Garrus." She yawned. "What are you still doing up?" He stopped beside her chair and crossed his arms as he peered at the readouts on her monitors.

"I should be asking you that," He replied with a grunt. "Is she still working through combat courses?"

"Yes," Liara said as she fought another yawn. "She completed everything through Jiu Jitsu so far, and should be finishing up Krav Maga in a minute or two. She's also completed the cross species combat techniques courses."

"Completing all of these usually takes days. How is she still going?" He asked incredulously as he scanned her vitals, still strong and pumping.

"Garrus, I've never seen anything like it," Liara whispered in awe as she turned back to look at him. "She's like a sponge, she soaks it up and just keeps asking for more. She just keeps going, like some kind of machine."

"Why haven't you told her enough is enough and made her go to bed?" Garrus turned a disapproving glare on Liara, who glanced at him quickly with a guilty shrug.

"Don't look at me like that. She has this way about her when she digs her feet in. She doesn't take no for an answer. It's like you find yourself falling in line before you know what's even happening, whether you like it or not." Garrus stared at her for a moment longer before looking back at the screen.

Garrus looked away as, for a moment, Shepard's sharp green gaze flashed through his mind, and he felt something twist and flutter in his core.

"Okay," he looked back to Liara with steel in his voice, "once she's done with this program, get her unplugged. You're both going to bed for the night." He pushed back, shifting his weight onto one foot as he continued to watch the readouts. It really was amazing that she could undergo nearly twelve hours of continuous data upload without missing a beat. He'd never seen anything like it, either.

A few minutes later, there was a creak and a hiss, and he turned to see Shepard's sim pod doors open. He jumped the steps on his way up and extended a hand to help her out. Shepard winced as she shifted and blinked with disorientation as she looked up at him.

"Garrus?" She took his hand, and he pulled her out of the pod, catching her as she stumbled. "What time is it?"

"So late that it's early," He snorted with a huff, and one corner of her lips turned up in a half smile. He fought a smile of his own as he raised a brow plate at her. "You guys should have gone to bed hours ago." He let the quiet rebuke linger, but Shepard ignored him as they both moved toward Liara's desk.

"That was incredible," Shepard murmured distractedly as her steps slowed. "I know hand to hand combat now. It was so easy, just like that." She snapped her fingers as she turned to Garrus, her eyes weary but her expression invigorated. He watched as Liara began powering down her systems, the only monitor still lit being the one linked to the Citadel.

"Well, we'll see about that." He waved his hand in the direction of the barracks. "Now, come on. You can't fight well with no sleep, not even in a simulation."

"Fine." Shepard took a few steps backward as she smirked, her hands in her pockets. "But tomorrow I want to show you everything I've learned."

"So, these numbers right here mean…?" Shepard trailed off as she leaned forward to point at a series of digits on one of the screens. Today she was shadowing Jacob as he worked alongside Joker in the cockpit.

"That is the signal strength of the extranet transmission," Jacob explained from where he stood beside her. "So long as the number is yellow, we are close enough to receive information, browse the data, and monitor the Citadel. Once we get close enough to a mass relay that the number becomes green, then the signal is strong enough that we can hack into the Citadel ourselves."

"Of course," Joker butted in as he leaned one elbow on his armrest, "getting that near to a mass relay is less than safe. There's usually Reaper patrols about, so we rarely hang out around there unless we have to."

"And what happens if they find us before everyone is back out of the Citadel?" Shepard asked hesitantly, and Joker looked away with a grimace, his lips a thin, unpleasant line.

"Then we attempt to hold our own, or we run. But if we can't maintain a firm enough connection, they become severed," Jacob murmured darkly, and neither man opted to explain further. Shepard swallowed down the sudden nerves. Somehow, this world she'd woken up in seemed to get more dangerous by the day. The fear and anxiety she'd felt within the Citadel had been born of the unknown, which made this new fear feel much more solid and real.

"It's not an uncommon way to die, honestly. Or to lose entire upload and combat ships," Jacob finally continued as he busied himself with checking readouts on another monitor. "Particularly when Cerberus becomes involved."

The name hung in the air like a curse shouted in a crowded room. Shepard could see Joker's shoulders tense.

"Who's Cerberus?" She asked carefully, and he turned to look back at her with a dark look.

"The Cult of Cerberus," He spat, and Shepard felt a shiver run down her arms. "They're an underground group that worships the Reapers as some kind of gods. They live amongst us, all the while trying to murder us in our goddamn beds."

Shepard drew back as her eyes widened. She turned to Jacob for confirmation, but he sighed and nodded.

"You're telling me there's a group that actually wants the Reapers to win?" She asked, aghast and horrified. "Do they live in the Fleet? On the ships? Even here?" She caught the hitch of fear in her voice and stomped it down.

"Anderson takes them very seriously, as do the Council," Jacob reassured her with a calm voice. "We have no reason to believe there are any Cerberus agents aboard this ship. Most of us have been serving here for years without any issue." He paused before looking away. "But, yes. There are Cerberus agents living amongst the Fleet. They occasionally cause… Issues."

"'Cause issues'," Joker snorted disdainfully as he sneered at Jacob. "Sure, call it that if it helps you sleep better at night." He twisted in his chair as he turned to look back at Shepard. "Cerberus are a bunch of fucking monsters. My family died when they sabotaged the ship we lived on when I was younger, the Tiptree. My entire family, Shepard. The only reason I lived was because I was at a medical appointment on another ship at the time."

A chill ran up her spine as she took in the horror of his words, her eyes wide and her mouth dry. He couldn't be serious, this couldn't be real, and yet there was a tightness in his eyes that spoke of a deep seated pain. Shepard swallowed uncomfortably as she tried to process what she was being told.

Joker waved his hand toward Jacob and he rolled his eyes. "Some of us don't want to shove our heads in the sand and pretend Cerberus are 'no big deal'." His voice had a sarcastic lilt at the end as waved his hands in the air before him in a mocking gesture. With a sigh, he placed his hands on his armrests and winced as he pushed himself to standing. Wavering, he reached for two arm braces propped up nearby. "Jacob, take over. I need to take a piss."

Without another word, the pilot turned and hobbled out of the cockpit. Jacob moved to take the pilot's vacated seat without a word. He typed in a few commands and readjusted the seat's height settings before turning back to Shepard.

"Don't worry about it too much, Shepard, at least for the time being. You have plenty to focus on, and you're safe here. I promise." The words only soothed her a little as he turned back to fiddling with the controls, and Shepard turned to gaze at a nearby monitor as she crossed her arms at the sudden chill in the air. She felt the pressure of her teeth on her lower lip as uncertainly and unease gnawed at her.

Until that point, the Fleet had felt like something a haven, even if she hadn't visited it yet. It had felt like the only safe place in the galaxy, but the more she learned about the Reapers, the less safe the galaxy felt. Giant robots with a desire to kill or enslave all evolved organic life? How could anyone worship that? The idea nauseated her. How bad did someone's life have to be in order to convince them to throw their lot in with the Reapers?

"Shepard." Her head snapped around, the familiar voice sending a surge of excitement and anticipation coursing through her. It was a welcome distraction, and she happily put the thoughts of moments before behind her. "You ready to show me what you can do?" She turned to face Garrus waiting for her in the cockpit's entryway with that cocky smile of his, and she met it with one of her own, the distraction more than welcome.

"Oh hell yes." Without another word, Garrus turned and led the way through the CIC toward the ladder, and Shepard quickly followed after. As they prepared to load into the Codex, she felt a confidence wholly novel to her, an assurance of the knowledge she now held that finally gave her hope. She could hold her own now in a world that had become terrifying and unfamiliar to her.

When the sensation of plugging into the simulator faded, she looked around in surprise. Instead of the usual white void of the Codex, they were within a strange, square room. Soft light filtered through thinly papered windows, illuminating the warm wood of the open floor and the surrounding pillars. She and Garrus stood across from each other in the middle of the room, face to face.

Along one wall was what appeared to be some sort of shrine, a vase of artfully arranged flowers sitting below a hanging paper scroll with something written in black ink in a language she didn't understand. She considered reaching up to her visor to extend the display across her eyes in hopes of getting a translation, but paused as she noticed her attire.

Looking down at herself, Shepard realized she was wearing an unfamiliar outfit. She wore a loose pair of white pants and a shirt that was wrapped around her, cinched shut with a white belt tied in a knot. Her feet were bare, and she appeared to have no other accessories.

Garrus was dressed in something similar in its purpose, but utterly alien in its design. The pants were loose like hers, but they were cinched at the knees, leaving his leg spurs and feet bare. His sleeveless shirt wrapped around his narrow waist, held shut with a number of small clasps, leaving his tightly muscled arms bare as well.

Her pulse quickened as sudden nerves assaulted her. As her eyes roamed over his hard edges, his sharp talons, and his focused gaze, it was impossible to pretend that turians were anything other than apex predators. From his razor teeth to his peditalons, every aspect of him screamed hunter.

For a moment, it was a different blue-eyed turian standing before her, and her jaw tightened.

"Where are we?" Shepard asked as she ripped her eyes from him to glance around the room again.

"I had Liara load us directly into a sparring program. I picked a human styled one, I hope that's fine with you."

"Yeah, of course," she murmured as she turned back to face him. Garrus took what she recognized as a common ready position for one of the turian combat styles.

"Ready to show me what you've learned?" He asked, his words edging the line of a taunt. Shepard let herself smile as she lowered herself into a pose from a style she remembered as being one well suited to countering turian styles.

"You're on."

Garrus' mandibles flicked outwards, and she darted forwards to close the gap between them. Without ever breaking eye contact, he swatted her first punch away as though it were little more than a fly. She hopped back, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she knew she should, and considered their relative size difference. He was massive in comparison to her, even though she was slightly above average height for a human. But she'd encountered lots of information the day before about what to do against larger foes, so she drew back, and spun as she sent her foot kicking toward his side.

He twisted just enough to dodge, his movement slight but perfectly calculated. Shepard faltered as she landed before righting herself in a hurry, ready for his attack. But though his hands remained up for protection, he didn't press forward, instead remaining on the alert as he waited, watching.

Shepard began her attack again, her body feeling sluggish as she tried to make it do what she wanted it to. She understood the forms, she understood the attacks, and yet nothing worked as she thought it should, nothing landed, and none of it was smooth. None of it was natural.

She began to get angry as Garrus ducked and blocked, their feet weaving a dance around the open room. Her hands and arms began to ache from the attacks, bruises beginning to form on her shins and feet from all her attacks he had blocked. Her breath began coming rough and ragged, but still none of her attempts landed.

"For fuck's sake, Garrus!" She exclaimed in frustration as she wiped her sweaty forehead with the back of one hand. "Are you going to hit me or aren't you?"

"You sure that's what you want?" He asked in a voice so self assured that anger boiled up in her chest. Shepard darted forward, her fist drawn back as she growled an obscenity under her breath.

Before she knew what was happening, his fingers were curled into the fabric of her shirt and she was flying. The ground came up to meet her with an explosion of pain as stars burst before her eyes. Her face was pressed down against the floor, her arm twisted painfully behind her back, and she could feel a weight upon her pinning her down.

"Do you yield?" The dual rasp of Garrus' voice in her ear made bumps erupt across her skin as she froze. His knee pressed harder down into her back, and with her free hand, she frantically tapped the floor.

"I yield!" She gasped as she reached her pain threshold and her muscles burned. She released her breath as the pressure vanished and he released her. Laying there for a moment longer, Shepard finally rolled over to watch as Garrus got to his feet, an amused expression on his face. He offered her a hand, which she accepted.

As soon as she was standing, he let go and strode toward a chair along one wall that held a number of brilliantly white, soft towels. He grabbed one before turning and tossing it to her. She murmured her thanks before gratefully wiping away her sweat.

Once her heart slowed to its usual beat and the exhaustion began setting in, she looked up at him again. He didn't look tired or sweaty at all, nor could she remember getting even one actual hit in on him. Were turians even capable of sweating? Indignation and mortification began pooling in her core as she looked away, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"I don't understand," She grunted as she draped the towel around her neck. "I learned everything. I had all that information uploaded into my head. Why am I not even good enough to land a single hit? I felt like a sloppy mess, like my head was saying one thing and my body was doing something else entirely." She'd felt so confident in her knowledge coming into this, her complete defeat coming as a mortifying surprise. Garrus' low chuckle only made it worse. She shot him a glare, and he held his hands up with a look of contrition.

"Don't feel bad. You did really well for your first time." She raised an eyebrow at him, but he just shrugged. "What you accomplished yesterday was the equivalent of reading and watching thousands of books and videos. Could you really hope to master hand to hand combat after doing so little?" Shepard blinked as understanding crept in.

"You mean that wasn't the extent of my training?"

"Like I said, that was only the beginning. You have the information in your brain, but we need to train your body, too, and we don't have a method for uploading the experience necessary to become a master. Think of it as developing muscle memory. You've completed the easy part, now it's time to get to work."

He held out his hand for her towel, and after a thoughtful pause, she handed it over. With a flick of his wrist, Garrus tossed it aside and walked back to his original spot in the middle of the room. He lowered back into his fighting stance.

"Now come at me again."

Shepard sat on the end of the wooden dock, her bare feet dangling into the warm water below as she dabbed at her split lip with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. They were back in Garrus' tropical beach simulation, the stars sparkling down at them from the velvet sky above. He sat beside her, leaning back on his palms stretched out behind him as he gazed upwards.

It had become something of a tradition of theirs to stop here to discuss what they'd gone over before heading back for dinner. If she stopped and thought about it, it seemed astonishing that after a lifetime of isolation, she'd found the kind of friendship in which they could have traditions such as this. And Shepard treasured this time not only for that, but for the sound of the gentle waves that washed away her worries, replacing them with peace and tranquility.

Usually.

"Ugh," she groaned as a stab of pain shot through her, "I didn't realize training would hurt so much." Garrus chuckled, his smile caught between empathetic and smug. After the beating he'd just dealt her, she wanted to smack him.

"Sorry about that. But going easy on you wouldn't do you any favors." Shepard grunted in response, even though she agreed with him wholeheartedly. The thought of him treating her like some sort of porcelain vase was nauseating. She wanted him to see her as an equal some day, not just some novice that needed his protection. Being handled with kid gloves wouldn't get her anywhere.

"Yeah. You're right," she sighed and dabbed at her bloody lip again before hissing in pain. She didn't really have that much experience with pain. That was going to need to change.

"Here, this will help." Garrus brought up his omni-tool as he sat forward and turned to her. "Let me just…" He lifted his free hand to her chin, turning it gently to display her injured lip. Leaning closer, he brought his omni-tool up to her face, letting his fingers hover just above the skin.

Shepard's breath caught in her chest as she looked up at him, the orange light illuminating his features in the darkness of the warm night. His eyes were focused on her lip, and he seemed completely unaware of the proximity of their bodies as he leaned just a bit closer.

The pain began to fade as a coolness spread across the cut, and he looked up, his eyes meeting hers as he stiffened. Neither of them moved until finally his omni-tool faded and he pulled away abruptly without saying another word.

Shepard brought her fingers up to gingerly probe her injured lip, only to find it almost completely healed. She brushed her fingertips across the spot where the cut had been before pulling them away to look down at the clear gel she'd wiped away.

"What…?"

"Medi-gel. It's one of the hacks we've developed within the simulators and the Citadel to handle injuries. It can't solve all problems, but it helps," Garrus muttered as he looked away, his voice distant and distracted as he looked back up at the stars.

"Wow." Shepard's hand came back up to rub her lip in awe. "That's amazing. Thank you." Without warning, he stood as he turned back toward the beach, and Shepard blinked at his sudden, jerky movement.

"I, er… We should head back. It's almost dinnertime."

"Really? It feels like we've been in here for way longer than that," Shepard said as she stood, the tight soreness of her muscles making her wince.

"Time passes differently when you're plugged in. We can get a lot more done here in less time. It's handy when it comes to training, but it can be exhausting." Together, they began walking back down the dock, the old wooden planks creaking beneath their feet with each step.

"Yeah." Shepard stretched her arms up over her head, the tightness already increasing. "That's one way to put it." Garrus turned to look back at her with sympathetic understanding in his eyes.

"Starting tomorrow, you'll be put through a series of training drills in order to build the muscles and experience necessary to put the knowledge to good use. We'll spar regularly, too, so you can practice going up against living opponents, not just the computer. Does that sound good?" Shepard nodded as they stepped off onto the soft sand of the beach. She curled her toes into it as she stuffed her hands into her pants pockets, savoring the last moments of warmth around her.

"Sounds like a plan."

"Then let's head back."

Garrus pulled up his omni-tool, and with one last, lingering glance back at her, he pulled up the command, and everything melted away.

Shepard's eyes opened just as her pod's door did. Garrus stood before her, his hand extended in an offering of assistance. She reached for him, but as he pulled her forward, pain shot through her entire being.

"Holy shit," she groaned as she stumbled out of the pod and onto the walkway. Garrus caught her as she righted herself with a concerned and knowing look.

"Take it slow. It usually hits all at once." His words were soft as he guided her toward the mess hall with a gentle, reassuring hand on her back. Reaching a hand up, she felt her tender jaw and her sore lip. She froze, her eyebrows drawing down in a frown.

"Garrus, I thought nothing that happened within the simulator was real. Why do I hurt so badly? Nothing actually happened to my body." He nodded as he looked away, his mandibles flicking tight against his jaw.

"No, but your mind makes it real. You'll feel the hits you took as though they actually happened."

"That makes no sense," Shepard stated as the furrow between her brows grew deeper, but Garrus only shrugged.

"There's a connection between body and mind. If you want to understand it better, ask Liara for an explanation sometime. She knows more about it than I do."

Shepard nodded before continuing her trip toward the nearest chair. She fell into it, thanking Garrus gratefully as he fetched her a cup of water. A moment later, he had a bowl of warm rations before her, but she paused with her spoon poised above the bowl, a sudden anxiety creeping into her mind.

"Garrus… What happens if you die within the Citadel?"

He looked up from his own bowl, his expression guarded as their eyes met. He said nothing for a moment until his gaze dropped back down to his bowl.

"If you die within the Citadel, then you die here as well. Your body can't live without your mind." He paused before continuing quietly, "You'd be nothing but a husk. An empty shell."

The words rang hollowly in Shepard's skull as she processed them. Finally, she looked back down at her own disappointing meal. "I see."

"All the more reason to learn how to defend yourself. Put your best effort into your training, and you'll be okay." Garrus' words felt forced, as though he were trying to convince himself, and for a moment, Shepard considered probing further.

"Lola!" Her head snapped around to see Vega grab up a bowl and reach for the red lever on the ration dispenser. "How'd you do? Feeling sore?"

Shepard grunted noncommittally, causing the other human to laugh as he fell into the seat beside Garrus. She took another bite, quickly followed by another, the day's labor having worked up her apatite.

"Don't worry," Vega continued as he stirred his own bowl, "it's rough at first for everyone. But I'm sure you'll pick it up quickly, unlike Jenkins over here who still can't land a hit on me!" He called out as he looked across the room. Shepard turned just enough to notice the younger man as he entered. Jenkins rolled his eyes but smiled good-naturedly as he walked toward the stack of clean bowls.

"Poor kid's just struggling because your inflated ego takes up so much of the room that there's no space to maneuver," Garrus quipped with a quick flick of his mandibles, and Shepard snorted with amusement as Vega's smug smile melted off his face. Jenkins' appreciative laughter rang through the room, warm and light, and he joined them at the table.

"Thanks, Garrus," he said as he grinned, and Vega grumbled a response, his smile returning. Soon, the rest of the crew began filtering in for dinner. One by one, they checked in with her regarding how her training went, often commiserating over the difficulty and reminiscing about the start of their own combat training. She found it oddly touching, and something about the interactions felt different. It was as though she'd passed some sort of initiation rite. It was as though it wasn't until now that she'd become an actual member of the crew.

They'd been eating for about fifteen minutes when the rowdy conversation of the mess hall quieted, and Shepard looked up to see Anderson standing behind the open seat beside her, a bowl in his hand as he smiled at her gently. All eyes were on him, their tongues held by the oddity of seeing him amongst them at mealtime. Generally, he ate in his quarters, and though this wasn't the first time she'd seen him join them for a meal, she could count the times on a single hand since joining the crew.

"Is this seat open?" He asked, and Shepard nodded mutely before he sat down and settled into the chair. He took a thoughtful bite of his rations before turning his head in her direction. "So, how was the first day of your training, Shepard?" He asked casually, and she grimaced as she let herself feel the ever-increasing soreness of her muscles.

"It went, uh…" She rolled her shoulders and winced. "Well, I survived." Anderson chuckled as he nodded in understanding.

"I know that feeling. I remember my first day of combat training. But I'm glad Garrus didn't go easy on you." Shepard looked up, but the moment her eyes met with Garrus', his gaze snapped back down to his bowl as he poked it with his spoon.

"Yeah. Me, too," she mused as she looked back at the captain.

"I stepped in to watch with Liara for a few minutes earlier," he added after a moment, and Shepard stiffened, embarrassment building in her core and oozing up to flush her face. He'd watched her get the snot beaten out of her over and over and over. If he wasn't having second thoughts about putting her on his crew before, he must be now. "I was very impressed."

Shepard froze, her spoon halfway to her mouth as she cocked a single eyebrow in confusion. "Are you sure you were watching the right monitor, sir?" Anderson chuckled with a shake of his head.

"I was right when I said you have a lot of potential. I've never seen someone pick it all up as fast as you have so far. The fact that you processed all of that information and were able to do anything with it on your first attempt was astounding." Shepard simply stared at him as he looked back at her with those weighing eyes. "Even if you did get a little battered. But that's to be expected. Something of a rite of passage."

Shepard looked back around the table to see smiling and nodding faces. "You should have seen what a bloody mess Vega was after his first day of training." Jacob laughed, but instead of looking embarrassed by the jab, Vega only grinned. Shepard couldn't stop the small answering smile from spreading across her face.

"With a little time, I'm sure you will improve quickly. I wouldn't be surprised if, before long, you'll be giving Garrus a run for his money," Anderson said with a meaningful look in the turian's direction. Finally, he looked back at Shepard with a sparkle in his eye. "I'm excited to see what you're capable of, Shepard."

Shepard looked back at Garrus to find him watching her again. His mandibles flared in a smile and he murmured, "I guess we'll just have to find out."