Nick raised his paw to the door in front of him, but once again, he could not bring himself to knock, and his arm fell back to his side. He let out a sigh, shook his head, and stared off into the distance.
Judy lost count of the number of times Nick had done this. Every time he thought he had the courage to finally knock on the door, he backed down at the last minute, either too ashamed to go through with it or not quite sure what he was going to say to the mammal on the other side. And every time, she would grab his paw with hers and give it a reassuring squeeze, silently letting him know that she was here to help in any way she could. She contented herself with standing patiently beside him, letting him take his time, and mentally preparing themselves for the hard, but necessary, conversation that lay in front of them.
Nick had been uncharacteristically quiet ever since they had come back to Zootopia. The doctors at the hospital had spent days treating his wounds. While Judy had come out of Marble Jade with little worse than soot-covered fur and a dislocated shoulder, Nick had been seriously injured in his fight with Alex Faulkner. Aside from the gunshot wound in his left arm—which was still in a sling right now—he had multiple gashes, bites, and lacerations spread across his body. One or two injuries were serious enough to require surgery. Nonetheless, the doctors had discharged him within a week. They assured him that he was going to make a full recovery, and there would be no lasting effects.
But she knew better. Much like Skye, Nick had suffered more than just physical trauma in Marble Jade. The bombshell that Alex had dropped on him about his father had shook Nick to his very core. Every time she looked at him, she could tell it was weighing heavily on his mind. He had loved his father, and had spent his life looking up to him, so to find out that he was a member of White Jaws was nothing short of devastating to the poor fox.
And unfortunately, there was not much she could do to help him. All she could do was lend a listening ear whenever he needed to talk—but Nick needed more than just somebody who would listen to him. He was a fox, and a fox's family name was the most important part of their identity. Since she was not a fox, she could never fully understand, as much as she was willing to try. She could assure him for the rest of their lives that none of his father's mistakes mattered to her, but it would not change the fact that it mattered to him. Judy could not help him, Dr. Tora could not help him, and with how few foxes there were in Zootopia, it felt like there was nobody in the whole city who could help him.
Except one.
That was why they were here now. There was only one person Nick could talk to. The one person who might be able to help him—but also, the one person who might take the news even worse than he did.
Judy gave Nick's paw another squeeze, once again letting him know that she was here with him. This time, it seemed to finally give him the courage he needed to follow through. He squeezed her paw back, let go, and rapped his knuckles against the door before he could talk himself out of it again.
He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. "Okay," he whispered. "Here it goes."
A moment later, a shuffling noise sounded from the other side of the door. The lock clicked out of place, and the door slowly began to open.
After opening just a crack, the red fox on the other side gasped loudly and threw it open the rest of the way. She practically ran up to Nick, threw her arms around him—taking great care to not hurt his injured arm—and hugged him so tightly that Judy wondered for a moment if she would have to give him CPR.
"Nick! Oh my God!" The vixen's eyes squeezed shut as she buried her face in her son's neck. "I've been so worried about you!"
Nick somehow managed to wrap his good arm around her and weakly return the hug. "Hi, Mom," he whispered.
"I've been so worried about you!" She held on for a few more seconds, lovingly caressing the back of Nick's neck with one paw and squeezing his waist with the other, refusing to let go. "Marble Jade has been all over the news, and nobody knows what happened there. I tried calling you but you never answered, and I started to fear the worst, and…"
She pulled away so she could look him in the face, and her voice faded away. Her beautiful green eyes locked with his, and her expression turned sad. "Oh, Sweetheart…" She placed her paws on his cheeks and stroked his fur affectionately. "You're hurt."
Nick smirked and shrugged his bad shoulder. "What, this old thing? Not hurt enough. Chief Billy-Goat Graham wants me back at work by the end of the week." His voice dropped dramatically. "Mom, he wants me to do paperwork, can you believe it?"
She did not react. She continued staring into his eyes, and after a few moments, his smirk disappeared as he surrendered to her gaze. "My poor Nicholas…" She rested a paw against his head and held him tenderly for a moment. He leaned into it, closed his eyes, and let out a heavy sigh. "What happened to you in Marble Jade?"
Judy decided to finally speak up. "That's what we're here to talk about." The vixen turned to look at her, and she gave a friendly wave. "Hi, Viv."
Vivian's eyes opened wide as she realized she had completely missed seeing the bunny until now. "Oh, Judy!" She quickly let go of Nick's face, knelt down, and gave the rabbit as big a hug as she had just given her son. Judy hugged her back just as tightly. "I'm sorry, I was just…" She let go and gave her a worried look. "I've been trying to get information about both of you, but the ZPD won't tell me anything and I can't get through to your phones."
"They destroyed our phones in Marble Jade. We've been recovering in the hospital since we got back to Zootopia, and we meant to visit you as soon as we could, but…"
Judy hesitated. The truth was, Nick had been putting off this meeting. It was impossible to know how much Vivian knew about her husband's involvement with White Jaws, and he had to wrestle with the very real possibility that he would be the one to deliver the news to her. Considering he was still struggling with accepting it himself, it was a daunting task, and he had spent the past few days trying to mentally prepare for the tough conversation ahead.
However, it was not her place to tell the vixen all of that. Instead, Judy simply nodded in Nick's direction. "He has something he needs to tell you."
Vivian turned around and looked at Nick again. His face was filled with weariness, uncertainty, and a hint of dread, and upon looking at it, she understood immediately that it was serious. Without waiting even a second, she stood back up straight and motioned to her open door. "Come along, children. We'll talk inside."
Judy walked through the door and into Vivian's apartment. Nick followed her, though he dragged his feet. His mother kept an eye on him as he crossed the threshold, walked into the living room, and sat down on the couch beside Judy. Vivian closed the door behind them, sat down in the recliner beside the couch, folded her paws in her lap, and leaned forward so she could catch Nick's attention.
"Sweetheart?" He looked at her, and she offered him a kind smile. "As always, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I understand there are some things that police officers have to keep a secret, even from their own family. But I'd really like to what happened to you in Marble Jade." She glanced at Judy. "To both of you."
Judy leaned back in the couch, making herself comfortable, and took hold of Nick's paw once again. "I think it would be best if Nick told you everything." She turned to her fox and gave him an encouraging smile.
Nick's eyes slowly fell away from his mother's face, falling down to his feet and darting around as he tried to think of what to say. He stayed quiet for several long seconds. Vivian waited for him to speak, patiently giving him her full attention, while Judy rubbed her thumb across the top of Nick's wrist.
After what felt like an eternity, Nick finally looked back at his mother. In the quietest voice either of them had ever heard him speak, he said, "Alex Faulkner captured us."
Vivian's expression grew dark. In an instant, her face morphed from surprise, to anger, to pity, before finally settling on something Judy could only describe as acceptance. "Oh." She took a deep breath, leaned back in her recliner, and let out a heavy sigh; Judy heard a hint of a growl mixed in. "I see…" Nothing more needed to be said. Judy was not sure what the relationship was between Vivian and Alex Faulkner, but it was clear that she knew exactly who he was, and based on her reaction, she probably knew exactly why he had kidnapped Nick.
Nick seemed mildly surprised by her reaction. His eyebrows raised slightly, and when he spoke again, he stumbled over his words. "You…You already know about…?"
"About White Jaws?" Vivian exhaled sharply, as if the words left a bad taste in her mouth. "Yes, I know all about them." Her eyes filled with sadness as an unpleasant memory came to her, and she stared off into the distance.
Judy's heart sank in her chest. Ever since Alex Faulkner had dropped the bombshell on them in Marble Jade, she had hoped there was some way to dismiss it. As unlikely as it was, she had hoped that Nick's father was completely innocent, but Vivian had just confirmed their worst fears. Alex was right: Nick's father was a member of White Jaws.
Nick did not take the news any better. He let out a quiet gasp and stared at his mother in disbelief. He went completely still—petrified by the confirmation that his father really was a criminal after all. The corners of his lips began to tremble and he started to blink his eyes rapidly to fight back a volley of tears, as his mental image of John Wilde shattered all over again.
Vivian closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I told your father not to take that money, but…" She bowed her head. "But we were struggling. We just weren't making enough to survive, and when Alex offered to give us a loan, your father couldn't refuse. He wanted to make sure our family was taken care of." She opened her eyes again and looked sadly off into the distance. "He knew he could never pay it back. But he was willing to spend the rest of his life doing whatever Alex asked of him, if it meant giving us a chance to live a good life."
Nick listened in silence to his mother as she spoke. When she finished, his grip on Judy's paw tightened, and his other paw curled into a fist inside of his sling. "Mom, you should have told me."
His mother turned back to him and placed a paw on his knee. "Sweetie, you always looked up to your father. I didn't want for you to—"
"So you let me find out from Alex Faulkner instead? After he kidnapped me and Judy and tried to kill us? If it wasn't for his own daughter being there to save us, we'd be dead right now, Mom—all because Dad decided to sell his soul to a terrorist for a couple of bucks! I always looked up to him because I thought he was a good fox, the best in all the world, but now I know he was just a… just a…" He gritted his teeth together and squeezed his eyes shut painfully, too distraught to continue.
Judy hated seeing him like this, but she knew it was necessary for him to properly process his emotions. Instead of trying to calm him down, she simply gave his paw a firm squeeze and placed her other on top, grasping him tightly. She wanted him to know that she was here for him, but she also knew the best thing she could do right now was remain silent and let the two foxes talk.
Vivian was silent for a moment. She stared at Nick's face, her own growing in sorrow. "Oh, my sweet Nick…" She gave his knee an affectionate rub. "I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. I'm sure your father didn't mean for you to—"
"He knew what he was doing, Mom. The moment he signed that contract, the Wilde family name—our name—was stained." Nick's voice dropped to a whisper. "And it's a stain I will never be able to wash away."
Judy's ears flattened against her back as she listened to the fox pour his heart out. Much like Skye, Nick was struggling with a stain that nobody else could see, and as much as she wanted to help him in some way, she knew there was nothing she could do.
She glanced at Vivian, hoping she would know what to say right now, but the vixen remained quiet. Her saddened face stared at the ground, heartbroken by Nick's words but unable to deny them. She might have known of her husband's dealings with White Jaws, and such knowledge undoubtedly weighed heavily on her mind for countless years, but right now, she looked like she had just learned it all over again. Her paw fell away from Nick's knee, and she folded both of hers together, as if she was praying a silent prayer that all of this agony on her family could disappear.
For the next minute or two, the three of them sat in silence, all of them thinking over their conversation and none of them sure what to say next. Eventually, Vivian turned to Judy, an eyebrow raised in curiosity. "Alex has a daughter?"
Judy wasn't sure if the vixen was trying to change the topic or if she was just curious, but she nodded. "Yes. Her name is Chance, but she goes by Skye. She ran away from White Jaws and made it to Zootopia and then got captured with us and then helped us escape Marble Jade and—"
"She's our friend." Nick spoke up suddenly, interrupting her. He no longer looked like he was on the verge of crying, but his expression was still weary, and he looked at his mother with a kind of grief that Judy had never seen in him before. "She saved us. We owe her our lives."
Something in Vivian's face changed. "She saved you? How?"
Nick locked eyes with her, and his words had a weight to them. "She killed him."
Vivian's eyes widened, and she threw a paw up to her mouth to stifle a gasp. "She…" She turned to Judy, seeking confirmation that she had heard correctly. The bunny nodded. As if wanting to absolutely make sure, she whispered, "Alex is dead?"
"Yes." Judy patted Nick's paw. "Skye killed him to save us. She's our hero." She hesitated to share too many details, but she also wanted to make it clear to Vivian how she felt about Skye's bravery that night.
Vivian pressed her paw more firmly against her mouth and closed her eyes tight. She mouthed something that Judy could not hear, even with her sensitive bunny ears, but otherwise remained perfectly still for several seconds. When she finally opened her eyes again, she looked at Nick with a surprisingly serious expression. "How is she doing?"
It seemed there was more to her question than first appeared at face value. Nick thought over his answer for several seconds, and when he finally spoke, his words were slow and deliberate. "She's going to be okay."
Judy was not quite sure what the significance of his answer was, but it brought relief to Vivian's face, and her paw lowered from her mouth down to her chest. "Thank God." She breathed out a long sigh and closed her eyes again, more calmly this time. "That poor girl…"
The three of them fell quiet again for a while, before Nick's words broke the silence. "Mom?" He waited for her to open her eyes once more and look at him before continuing. "We can talk about Skye some other time. That's not why I'm here right now. I'm here because I need answers." He had to swallow before continuing. "And since Dad isn't here to give them to me, you're the only one left I can turn to."
Vivian opened her mouth to respond, but before any words came out, she paused. "Wait a minute…" Her face scrunched in thought. "Maybe he can give you the answers."
Judy watched curiously as Vivian stood up from her chair, walked to the other side of the room, and stopped in front of a bookcase. She opened a small drawer between two shelves of books and pulled out a piece of paper from the inside. She took a moment to look it over, making sure it was correct, and pressed it against her chest with both paws when she was finished. She closed her eyes tightly, and though Judy could not be sure, she thought for a moment she saw the faint hint of a tear start to roll down the russet fur on her cheek.
Then she walked back over to her chair and sat down, still clutching the paper in her paws. "Nick, this is something your father wrote for you the day he signed his contract with White Jaws. He wanted to give this to you on your eighteenth birthday. But then he died, and I…" She looked to the ground, her expression a mixture of grief and embarrassment. "I just couldn't bear giving it to you myself. You had already run away, and Alex was looking for you, and…" She shook her head. "Well, none of that matters now." She looked back up and held the paper out, offering for him to take it. "Here, Sweetie. I think now's the perfect time."
Nick stared at the paper for what felt like an eternity; Judy could see the conflict in his eyes as he debated whether to read it or push it away in disgust. Eventually, however, he let go of Judy's paw and took it from his mother. He lay it on his lap so that both of them could read it together. The paper was written in the same handwriting as the signature Judy had seen on the contract Alex had showed them in Marble Jade, only this time it was much smoother and easier to read.
My dearest Nicholas,
Today is your fifth birthday. Every single day since you have come into this world has been a blessing. I find it hard to believe you have been in my life for five years already. The day you were born, I made a promise that I would do anything for you, and I have done everything I can to keep that promise.
I did something today. I took a loan from Alex Faulkner. In doing so, I signed away my life into servitude of White Jaws. It was the hardest choice I've ever had to make, and I'm not sure it was the right one. But sometimes we have to make hard choices for the ones we love. And I want you to know, Nick, I love you and your mother more than anything else in the world. I can't stand the thought of my wife and child being kicked out of our home and living on the streets of Zootopia, as long as I could do something about it. So I made a deal with the devil. It's a deal I will live with forever.
This money I accepted is going to keep a roof over our heads and food in our bellies for the rest of our lives. I am truly sorry that I was not able to provide you all of that without Alex's help. I feel as though I have failed as a father and a husband. But I have truly tried everything I could, and this was my last resort. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
I promise you this: he will never be able to force me to do anything illegal or unethical. I would rather die than risk tarnishing the Wilde family name. I want for you to grow up, look in your mirror every day, and be proud of the fox you see. When I looked in my own mirror today after signing this contract, I did not see a fox filled with shame. I saw one filled with determination for the ones he loves most in the world.
I want you to know, Son: Everything I do, I do for you. Alex owns me now like a slave, but he cannot claim my life as his own, because it already belongs to you and your mother. My love for you is stronger than my fear of him. And no matter what happens to me, I will sleep well every single night, because I know that you and your mother will be okay.
I'll keep you and love you forever.
Dad
Judy became overwhelmed with emotion as she finished reading the letter. When she read it, it felt like she was looking through a window straight into John Wilde's heart—and it was a noble, beautiful heart. He was not a criminal after all. He was a selfless fox, who placed his family above his own life, and clearly loved them very much.
She sank into the couch and let out a breath she did not realize she had been holding. Beside her, Nick kept staring at the paper, meticulously reading and rereading every word on the page to make sure he did not miss anything. As he read, his paw began to tremble. His breathing turned shallow. His eyebrows tensed up. After a few minutes, a sharp, wet breath sounded at the back of his throat. Just as Judy was starting to lean forward to ask him if he was all right, the paper slipped out of his lap and fell to the floor.
One look at his face told her everything she needed to know. Tears were in his eyes again. This time, they were not tears of despair and shame. They were of relief, awe, respect…
Love.
He brought his good paw to his eyes to rub away the tears. He sniffled a few times, struggling to maintain his composure. He looked back at Vivian, and for the first time since they escaped from Marble Jade, a smile slowly appeared on his face. "He…" A quiet breath of relief sounded from the back of his throat. "He really did care."
"Of course he cared." Vivian's face beamed with happiness, and she spoke her words with pride. "Your father loved you, Nick, more than any other fox ever loved his son."
A fresh torrent of tears flooded Nick's eyes, and this time, he did not hold them back. He buried his face in his paw, not caring to hide his emotions, and wept. Judy placed a paw on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring rub, letting him know she was still there with him, but otherwise left the fox alone to cry as long and as hard as he wanted.
Vivian watched him with a smile of her own on her face, patiently letting him pour out his emotions. She picked the paper up off the floor and looked over it one last time, her expression turning nostalgic as she read her late husband's beautiful words.
When Nick finally calmed down enough, she looked up from the page and gave him a warm smile. "Sweetheart, your father was a fox of his word. He said in this letter that he would never do anything illegal, or even unethical, and I believe him. On his last day on this earth, he was not a fox filled with guilt. He was filled with love—love for you. All he ever wanted was for you to be happy, and he never would have done anything to hurt you. He was proud to be your father, and he was proud to be a Wilde."
She leaned forward and placed her paw on his knee again. Her smile broadened, and she finished, "And if he were alive right now to see the fox you've become, I have no doubt that he would be very proud of you."
A single sniffle sounded from the back of Nick's throat. Before he could erupt into tears again, he leaned forward and threw his good arm around his mother. He pressed his face against her chest, closed his eyes, and grinned from ear to ear. She returned the hug lovingly, wrapping both arms around him and holding him tightly. The two of them sat there for several long, emotional seconds, Nick gasping small breaths of relief while his mother hummed a quiet, beautiful melody as she held her son in her arms.
The look on Nick's face told Judy all she needed to know. The shame he felt was gone, replaced once again by the love that had always been there before. His father was just as noble and virtuous as he had always believed. Despite Alex Faulkner's best efforts, Nick's view of his father was now made whole, and would never be shattered again for the rest of his life.
In fact, if she did not know any better, right now it looked like Nick had never been more proud to be John Wilde's son.
After a while, Nick pulled himself away from his mother's arms and looked at her, a smile beaming on his face. "Can we go visit his grave? I'd like to talk to him."
Vivian smiled in return and nodded. "I'd like that, too."
Nick leaned back into the couch and turned to Judy. He offered her his paw, which she readily accepted. "You wanna come, too, Carrots? I want for you to meet him."
"Sure, but…" Judy glanced back at the paper in Vivian's paws. A small burst of joy filled her heart, and a tiny grin crept onto her face. "I feel like I already have."
The small peek into John Wilde's life already told her a great deal about the fox. He was a loving husband and father, willing to sacrifice everything for their care and well-being. The fact that Vivian and Nick were still here right now, embracing each other in a loving hug, was proof enough that his sacrifice was worthwhile. His family name was not stained crimson after all. No, as far as Judy was concerned, the Wilde family was the very best in all of Zootopia.
And she could not be prouder of the fact that she was part of it.