Feldgrau is a greenish grey color. It was the official basic color of military uniforms of the German armed forces from the early 20th century until 1945 or 1989. Armed forces of other countries also used various shades of that color.

Sweet Pea didn't go looking for information about Jughead's life.

Because (a); he couldn't care less and (b); sniffing out information about his soulmate could only turn out bad for him. No matter which way it blew, Sweet Pea sincerely doubted they would be Riverdale's next fairy tale couple. So the fuck did it matter finding out who was in Jughead's orbit that was connected to him in a way that Jughead would never, ever understand?

Okay, he wanted to.

But he knew he shouldn't.

And still, everything he learned about Jughead was against his will.

The fucktard that gave him his black eye was named Archie.

His annoying richie-rich of a girlfriend that stopped the fight was Veronica Lodge.

See? Didn't mean he wasn't listening.

Jughead arrived at school one day with a packed lunch. Toni noticed something; she grabbed a bright neon pink sticky note out of Jughead's lunchbox. Toni wouldn't know it was pink, no more than Jughead would.

"Aww, cute!" She said, "That girlfriend of yours doesn't seem like the type to leave these sorts of messages," She said, waving the sticky note around. He just caught a glimpse before Jughead shoved it back into his pocket. It was a little snake.

"She's not, but she knows I'm stressed," Jughead sighed, glaring at Toni. Likely because-

"You have a girlfriend, Jones?" Fangs said, and something he'd been trying to keep a secret was now common knowledge. Sweet Pea couldn't very well say he knew because the way he found out was…not common knowledge. He wanted to keep it that way. Still, hearing it confirmed made him feel…odd. Weird. Unsettled.

It was okay enough to sort of just sit with the knowledge, but hearing Jughead not exactly deny that yes, the reason his lips were colored was that someone was kissing him, put Sweet Pea off his lunch.

Sometimes it almost came out. When he was going toe-to-toe with Jughead and he caught a glimpse of where Betty had probably brushed his shoulder, rubbing a span of fabric that was a deep forest green, Sweet Pea nearly taunted him. Asked him if he picked out that color or if he just grabbed something out of the trash.

Wait for the realization to cross Jug's face. Replay that picture forever.

But ah, he couldn't. Not until he was sure. Like…sure-sure.

Like this sort of sure, the Jughead acknowledging a girlfriend sort of sure.

It would be some sort of fucked up, wouldn't it? His soulmate was a bonafide Northsider, the group he was sure he hated. Some Romeo and Juliet bull, if he'd ever heard it. Or cosmic karma more like.

Yeah, if there was a god up there, it was laughing his ass off at Sweet Pea and this tangle they'd set him up in.

"Yeah," Jughead grumped, but underneath it, Sweet Pea saw him give a smile, a true smile, just for a flash of a second.

It shouldn't have bothered him that his least favorite almost-Serpent actually liked this girl, that she was the one thing that brought this moody kid joy, but knowing what Sweet Pea knew that Jughead didn't just made it worse.

Sweet Pea felt the urge suddenly to get the hell out of here. Something like a spidey sense going off saying that he did not want to be around for the rest of this conversation. As he started to pack up, he heard the rest of the conversation.

"Must be a Riverdale High girl, huh?" Vade deduced.

"Uh, duh, idiot," Jedi sniggered, "No girl here is leaving cutesy little post-it notes."

"Is she preppy?" Fangs asked. Jughead started to answer, but Toni laughed.

"Is she preppy? God, she totally is," Toni snorted behind her hand, and Sweet Pea clenched his water bottle so hard he was sure he'd almost dent it.

Okay, she was preppy. He hadn't expected anything different. This was fine.

"But she's also totally not," Jughead leaped to defend her, "She's not what you'd expect. She's clever and really bright, and a little sinister sometimes and loves a good murder mystery-,"

Sweet Pea was suddenly a young child again, drawn to those Nancy Drew books. Somewhere, he must have known all this information, but now it was just flooding in and clicking into place.

Nancy Drew. Click.

Mysteries. Click.

A juxtaposition of a person. Click.

"She isn't the usual North Sider, I agree," Toni said, holding up her hands in defeat, "I mean, I doubt Jughead would even look at most of 'em. But naw, you'd never know it by looking at Betty Cooper, but she's a'ight."

That was it. The tipping point.

Sweet Pea felt like he couldn't breathe all of a sudden. His head swam as much as it pounded and his stomach turned against him. His body beaded with sweat, a chill sweeping across him.

He felt like shit all at once.

He stood so fast his chair squealed in protest on the linoleum floors.

"You okay?"

Toni was looking at him strangely.

"Bad sushi," He muttered, even though he hadn't eaten sushi for lunch. He got one step away before his whole body just…gave up and the last he heard was horrified gasps as Sweet Pea's world rolled over in black.

He woke up with a pounding headache.

He was in the school nurse's office. He'd only ever been in here when he stapled his hand freshman year for a $5 dare. When you were desperate for money, any stupid dare with a dollar sign attached was not a stupid dare anymore.

Since then, he tended to his wounds outside of school.

"Hey, Jordan, you gave us quite the scare there," The school nurse said, looking up.

"My head," He mumbled and reached up, gingerly touching a sore spot on his temple that made him wince.

"You went down pretty hard. Your friend Antonia said she tried to catch you, but you might have gotten a bump. Do you feel dizzy at all?" She asked.

"I have a headache. Ach; the lights," Sweet Pea moaned, shielding his eyes.

"Mhh, a concussion, I think," The nurse made a quick note, "I don't think it's anything worse, but do you know why you fainted?"

Sweet Pea scoffed, "Aren't you the one that went to medical school or some shit? Shouldn't you know?" He asked.

"I only know what your friends said and none of it makes much sense. What do you remember?" She asked. Sweet Pea licked his lips. The name 'Betty Cooper' bobbed into his mind, like an apple rising to the surface at an apple-eating contest, and he knew that this was the name of his soulmate.

He rolled it around his mind a few times, considering the flow of it.

"Uhm, just normal shit. I think I've just been eating bad for a bit," He lied quickly, playing with his fingernails, trying to ignore how his skin felt tense even thinking her name like it was waiting for…something.

"Do you usually get three meals a day?"

Sweet Pea gave a half-hearted shrug. No, of course, he didn't, but what would telling this nurse do? Not much. So it was better to just appease her.

When it was clear Sweet Pea was in little mood to answer questions, she sighed, "You should go home, son."

"I think I'm okay." Sweet Pea tried hopping off the cot, but his world went all cuckoo again. The nurse steadied him.

"I should rephrase. You have a concussion. Go home. No T.V. and no reading. Just go to sleep and rest. If you start barfing profusely, let me know. Call the school. We'll help."

Sweet Pea swallowed hard. He didn't need their pity. Still, he forced a smile and walked home, rubbing his eyes against the too-neon light of the sun and hoping that if he popped some Advil, this pounding headache would vanish.

He realized, on his walk home, why the name 'Cooper' was ringing a bell for him.

Jughead's girlfriend was Betty Cooper, daughter of the annoying journalist Alice Cooper. The one that yes, he was considering blowing up the workplace of. He'd make sure no one was there...he wasn't a murderer, certainly not a soulmate killer. The idea of hurting Betty caused him more pain than he could describe, a weird clutching feeling in the deepest parts of his heart, something he tried to ignore.

Not that he'd be doing anything now. He wanted to say the nurse was wrong and that she just gave him a few days off to fuck around, but hell, he doubted he'd be doing anything unless the construction workers in his mind stopped demolishing his current brain goo with hammers and decided that hey, his brain was good enough as it was.

He knew what Alice Cooper looked like. He knew what Betty's father also looked like.

Hell, he realized he knew what Archie and Veronica and Reggie and Dilton all looked like, more Northsiders than he cared to. He'd all come in contact with them at various points, once again, against his will.

But it was there. Their faces.

Betty's, so far, was not.

It felt almost…meaningful that Betty was the only one he hadn't had an occasion to cross paths with yet. Like the world was just waiting.

For what, god, he wasn't sure.

He got home, made himself a sandwich, and laid down on his bed face to the comforter, wishing his headache would subside.

It didn't, nor did he fall asleep.

His brain was a broken channel, repeating two words over, and over, and over.

Betty. Cooper. Betty. Cooper. Betty. Cooper.

He'd looped it so much those words, her name almost didn't sound real.

Even though the nurse said no phones or T.V., Sweet Pea reached for his phone. After assuring Toni that no, he wasn't dead, just concussed and sent home, he went to Facebook.

Jughead's profile was shockingly (ha, not) bare. Not even a profile pick. Certainly not pictures with him tagged.

He typed 'Betty Coo' onto Facebook and then paused.

"Just fucking finish typing it, man," He muttered to himself, urging his fingers to press the 'p' button and then the 'e' and then the 'r' and hit send. She'd likely come up right away. And if what they said was true, she seemed Type A enough to have an impeccable Facebook or Instagram profile.

He baited himself to finish it, but his fingers never summoned whatever was needed to finish the task.

Courage? Self-respect? Self-hatred?

Whatever the reason was, he couldn't bring himself to search for her online, not this time, or any of the times he nearly did after.

Maybe he was more of a romantic than he thought because a part of him didn't want to lay eyes on her until they were face-to-face, in the flesh.

xxx

When Sweet Pea rounded the side of the trailer, he saw the muted hints of Betty's fingerprints on Jughead's shoulder.

And, more vividly, her arm imprints around Archie.

"What do we have here?" He asked, locking his jaw, furious for all sorts of reasons and none at all.

"Just leave him alone, alright?" Jughead shot back.

"Wait," Archie sputtered, "You're friends with these thugs?"

Sweet Pea stepped forward, fists clenching.

"Go ahead and call us thugs one more time," Sweet Pea snarled out. What he really wanted to say was, your best girl, Betty, is my soulmate. How do you like us 'thugs' now?

If he were really crass, he might say something along the lines of, Just imagine, Betty, meaning to be with one of us, for the rest of her life. Think the idea of her fucking Jughead bothers you now? Oh…just wait.

Not that he agreed with Archie's apparent prejudice. They were no worse than those Bulldogs that played far dirtier than any Serpent ever had. He had to hope that Betty, his soulmate, understood this.

But it was just so fun to rile Archie up. Or it would be.

But hell, now wasn't the time or place.

Sweet Pea's eyes kept flickering back to the speckles of color on Archie. He wondered how warm Betty's fingers were. If she were to touch Sweet Pea's own cheeks, he'd finally see what color his skin was, if it would be like the books and sappy movies and he'd always have color there, his whole world lit up like Christmas lights.

It had to happen, right, when they first locked eyes? That's what Toni always giggled and crooned about.

"-came here to tell you to stay away from Betty," Archie was saying up and close in Jughead's face, "She doesn't want to see you anymore."

Sweet Pea ground his feet into the ground, crossing his arms over his chest, and narrowing his eyes. Finally, something intelligent from her. Long time coming, if you asked him.

"Screw you! I just saw Betty yesterday...she...was fine…" Jughead said, but with each word, he grew more unsure.

Sweet Pea wanted to move this along, and get it official. The sooner they were a done deal, the sooner he could try to make a move without feeling like a magnanimous asshole. I mean, he was her soulmate, but he was trying to be not a total dick about it. Sure, he probably wouldn't lose sleep over Jughead's pathetic tears, but he cared about Betty, despite having never met her. His body just knew her and god, he didn't want to cause her undue pain. And, for some whackbrained reason, until right now, she'd been dating Jughead.

"No, dude. She's been wanting to break up with you for weeks!" Archie spat out, "She's been agonizing over it. Since you crossed over to the dark side, she couldn't bring herself to do it."

Dark side? Well hell. Sure, some of them were criminals, and most were assholes, but it's not like the Southside was Mordor or something. It's not like they were led by Palpatine. They were a lot of really unlucky sons of bitches, and he meant that literally. His mom had been a true bitch, right up until her death.

"She knows you can't be with them and with her."

And well, fuck her! This wasn't 'pick a side, pick any side'. You could have both. Or at least, that's what he'd convinced himself into thinking. If she could be a Northsider and date Jughead, maybe one day she could want him.

But god, he was really fucking stupid, wasn't he?

"You know it too."

It was spoken to Jughead, but Sweet Pea felt it ringing in his bones. An uncomfortable truth he'd just been pretending wasn't there the whole time.

Maybe she couldn't. Maybe it was too much of a juxtaposition to be a Southsider and a good person. Maybe she saw something in all of them that he didn't.

Either way, fury rose through him, so hard and fast and abrupt he wanted to scream.

He didn't need a soulmate that looked down on him, one that thought he was gum on the bottom of her designer tennis shoes!

He bit the inside of his jaw, focusing on the red in Archie's hair, right near his temple on an otherwise gray, endless boring palette.

Well, he sure as hell wasn't going after her now. She could have her stupid, colorless Northside.

He wasn't a fucking invalid.

Jughead turned, watching everyone's faces. Sweet Pea couldn't speak for them, but he guess it was pity. And maybe he mistook pity on Sweet Pea's face too. For the better...if Jughead knew the way his insides were tearing apart at the seams right now, he'd have a lot of questions for him.

"What? You enjoyed the show?" Jughead demanded, the fire that would bring him far in the Serpents coursing through his blood.

Sweet Pea took a moment, folding his arms like armor over his body, and his heart, and swallowed back angry tears.

He was perfectly fine without a soulmate. He'd done well without one before all this and he'd do fine without one for the rest of his life.

He felt his heart close around itself, what he should have done in the first place.

"The show hasn't even started yet."

XXX

"You okay?"

Sweet Pea spun, finding Toni had appeared from thin air behind him. He usually was very aware of everything, but somehow he'd missed her pushing open the bathroom door to find him pressing his cheek against the cool glass of his mirror, trying to shove his swirling feelings away.

"I'm preparing."

Toni snorted; "You, of all people, don't need to prepare to beat the shit out of Jughead."

Sweet Pea turned, offering a thin, watery smile, "I'm preparing not to kill him. I know we say it's not guaranteed, but let's be real. FP would murder us if we let Jug die."

Toni took a step forward, pressing his forehead. She scowled, "No fever."

Sweet Pea grabbed her wrist, throwing it down, "I'm fine," He enunciated.

"So your headaches and dizziness have magically vanished?"

Sweet Pea sniffled, trying to play it off as allergies, shrugging, "Doc says my concussion is a-okay."

Toni shook her head, "That wasn't my question."

Sweet Pea stared at her, inhaling, trying to decide how to navigate this, "Fuck, Topaz. I'm fine. It's just exhaustion." He said, "I haven't slept well lately."

"Are you sure?" Toni said, "You seemed…off at Jughead's trailer before."

"You mean, me trying to hide my glee that Betty dumped his ass? I was holding everything in not to whoop with joy." He lied, laughing, knowing this was believable. Or would be, to most, but Toni had been reading Sweet Pea since they were toddlers.

"It's not that," She whispered, "What's going on with you?" She asked, "I'm really worried."

"It's nothing you can help with."

That was the truth. And if she could, he wouldn't want her to intervene.

"But-,"

"Toni. You've taken care of me my whole life. You can't mother me forever," He teased with a gentle smile, "Whatever this is is none of your concern. It won't affect you or anyone else. It's just…me." He whispered brokenly, "And I'll be okay."

"You sure?"

Sweet Pea thought of the color already starting to fade away from Jughead's shirt and the way it twisted inside of his stomach and stabbed.

"Yeah," He lied, "C'mon, we're going to be late."

The night was smokey and slightly cold, but Jughead stood there in his sleeveless shirt, staring down at everyone.

This kid usually wore his heart on his sleeve, but it's like someone had come in and taken his face, replaced it with a stony emptiness.

Yeah, Jones, me too.

But there wasn't emptiness in Sweet Pea. There was anger. Hot, like lava, pouring through, making his fingers twitch and his whole body burn.

He knew everyone expected him, the most trigger-happy of the group, to go the hardest on Jughead. He would have either way, but tonight, Jughead found him in a bad place.

It was like he was mourning Betty, as though he'd ever had a chance in hell of having her. Maybe that was it. Maybe he was mourning the death of his own intelligence because it clearly had been dying for a long while for him to hold out any hope, any slight puff of possibility, that Betty would want him.

He hit Jughead as though he could slap the color off of Jughead's clothes, to never see it again, never be reminded again that his soulmate thought he was trash and unworthy of her.

As he was punching the ever-living daylight out of Jones, a part of him was punching harder because of Betty. Putting his anger, the rejection, the agony all into his fists, letting it all out.

As much as he despised Jones, at least…at least he'd chosen them.

No, never mind. That still didn't make him feel better. If anything, it made him feel worse.

He stared at Jughead, spitting up blood on the ground, and prayed that his anger would stay. Because if his anger edged away, Sweet Pea would just be left with sadness and disappointment curling in his stomach.

He almost turned around, leaving Jughead there. But he knew that Jughead had taken the beatings, better than most, and this was his ticket in.

Sweet Pea offered a hand.

As he did, he caught the last pale and dying shade of peach on Jughead's palms, clasped tightly in Sweet Pea as the older Serpent helped Jughead to his feet.

As much as he wanted to never be reminded of color again, the idea of it fading away forever left him feeling worse than anything else.

That color, he knew, would be all but gone in just a matter of days.

As the color faded from Jughead's hands, the last time he touched Betty nearly twenty-four hours ago, Sweet Pea tried to hold onto it in the filtered grayish light of the trailer park. He tried to remember how the colors mixed and the hues looked in a different light and how much he fucking loved seeing in color and as each hour ticked by and the last remnant became fainter, how hurt Sweet Pea actually was.

This might be the last time he saw color for a very long time.

XXX

As Betty lay sobbing in her window, she pressed her head to the glass pane. The gray grass pane to the gray world beneath her.

The Black Hood had done awful things, but making her do this? It broke her heart.

But Jughead would be safe now. He had to be safe, otherwise, the Black Hood would go after him as well, kill him.

And, somewhere in the back of her mind, this was keeping her soulmate safe too...whoever he was.

Never before did Betty wish she'd have the courage to inquire about Jughead's school circle, to figure out the rest of who 'Sweet' was, as she did now.

But what she wished for more?

Nothing more than a glimpse of something colored to soothe her.

XXX

The world was a monochrome torment. Sweet Pea felt like a junkie, fiending for a hit. Color had become a drug, and he could see now why people did acid like it was candy. He was itchy and unable to stay focused, always switching his gaze back to Jughead and becoming even more disappointed when he saw no color whatsoever on his persons.

He hadn't realized how much he'd come to rely on those small doses of color until they were gone from his life. He had begun to live for the times he'd be able to catch the fade of brown on Jug's book bag, the warm gray of his hat, and the tinge of color to Jug's cheeks. He hoarded the color like precious gemstones, soaking in them, whispering the names under his breath.

Now it was gone.

It had become so irresistible to him that he found himself edging closer and closer to the border, daring himself over the tracks. To think that if he walked the town, he may see traces of where Betty had gone.

Or, if he were brave enough at all, to go to her house and see the whole front yard lit up like a tangled Christmas tree of lights, of the areas where Betty had placed her hands or brushed against as she left the house for school.

He was going insane, he was sure of it.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Toni asked for the umpteenth time, "You seem out of it."

"I just have a fucking headache," Sweet Pea said, closing his eyes, as though the bright white lights were straining his head. In truth? He wanted to just go to sleep and wake up in a world that wasn't fucking 50 shades of gray, gray and-oh, what's that?- more gray.

"You've had a headache for weeks now," Toni said in an accusing tone, "It's either the concussion back or-,"

"Or what?" Sweet Pea snapped.

"Or it's-,"

Whatever she was about to say was cut off.

There was a flash of red, bright against the gray tones of the world. Sweet Pea swung around, eyes wide.

"Andrews is here," He muttered, knowing that particular brand of red hair anywhere.

"What? Where…why?" Toni asked.

Sweet Pea shoved through a few people, greedy, drawn to the color, unable to stop his stumbling feet, but Archie was gone.

He only got a few steps before the doors swung open and the Riverside Police force swarmed the halls, grabbing any Serepents they could.

"Run!" He told Toni, but she was a few steps away, out of his reach. He tried to duck but felt a police offer grasp his arms, hauling him against a locker.

"Hands off!" He growled, struggling. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Archie tugging Jughead away, his brightly colored appearance like a honing beacon in all of it.

So much for Serpent Loyalty.

He spent three goddamn days in that prison, which as a minor, he was pretty sure was illegal.

Three days of blinding headaches, his throat closing and making it hard to breathe, and sweat breaking out on his skin.

"If I didn't know better…" Toni muttered, "I'd think…"

"You'd think what?" Sweet Pea hissed, pressing his hands against his eyelids, urging them to drill into his skull and rid him of sight once and for all, hoping that would please the migraine gods.

"Nothing," Toni said, shaking her head, as though whatever idea she had was preposterous, "Just a stupid idea. Really unlikely anyway."

"Then please," Sweet Pea groaned, the unrelenting nearly sickly warm-toned bulb of the police station holding tank unbearable, "Shut up and let me suffer in peace."