—-~*~—-
January 19, 1997, Hoynes Estate, Houston, TX
CJ sat in the rocking chair in the nursery, cradling six-month-old Savannah in her arms. The soft creak of the chair filled the quiet room as she fed her daughter, who gazed up at her with wide, curious eyes. The past six months had been a whirlwind of change, each day bringing something new. John was officially launching his presidential campaign tomorrow, a milestone that had already begun to reshape their lives. His schedule was packed, and his presence at home had become sporadic. Ryan, their eldest, was away at college, and the distance seemed to have softened his once-defiant attitude. He called frequently now, even coming home for Christmas, and it was clear that being on his own had allowed him to flourish.
Nicole had broken up with Cody, who, at seventeen, had been heartbroken for the first three weeks—until he started dating Kayla. Aiden, their quiet and introspective son, had come out as gay, revealing that he and his friend Thomas had been dating for the past year. John had initially been upset, feeling betrayed that Aiden hadn't confided in him when he'd asked years ago if he was gay. But CJ had gently reminded him that Aiden needed time to figure things out on his own, and John had eventually come around.
Noel, her baby boy, had just turned thirteen in December, officially entering the tumultuous world of adolescence. And Savannah, her precious little girl, was already teething and babbling, trying to form her first words. But weaning her had been a challenge. CJ cherished the bond that breastfeeding created, but Savannah's two bottom teeth had made the process painful. Her body felt like it was being pulled in a dozen directions, and now, to add to it all, she was two months pregnant. She hadn't told John yet—or even her best friend, who had warned her about getting pregnant too soon after giving birth. But CJ was turning forty this November, and they had both agreed it was time to try for another child.
A soft knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts. Virginia, her mother-in-law, peeked in. "Just came to check on you," she said warmly. "How's she doing today?"
"She's great," CJ replied with a soft smile, looking down at Savannah, who was almost done feeding. "Almost finished."
"And you?" Virginia asked, her tone shifting to one of gentle concern. "How are you feeling?"
"Oh, fine," CJ lied, her voice barely above a whisper.
Virginia sat on the loveseat across from her, her eyes narrowing slightly. "You want to try that again and make it a little more convincing?" she asked, leaning forward with an attentive gaze.
CJ hesitated, then let out a long sigh. "I'm worried," she admitted. "About the frenzy that officially starts tomorrow. John's already been gone more than he's been here, and it's only going to get worse. I feel like we're still so new in this relationship, and I just wish we had more time. More time with the boys—they're growing up so fast. Ryan's gone, Cody's graduating next year, and now everything with Aiden…" Her voice trailed off as she glanced at Savannah, who was drifting off to sleep. "And Noel's a teenager now. It's… a lot."
"Don't forget that little bun in the oven," Virginia said firmly, her tone leaving no room for evasion.
CJ's eyes widened in surprise. "Yeah," she said quietly, her voice trembling.
"Does John know?" Virginia asked.
CJ shook her head.
"Are you worried that what happened before will happen again?" Virginia pressed, her voice softening as she tried to understand CJ's hesitation.
"No," CJ replied quickly. "The doctor said everything looks great. She would've preferred I waited at least a year, but everything's fine."
"So I'll ask again," Virginia said, leaning closer. "Why haven't you told your husband?"
"I don't know," CJ whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. "I've already given up so much. He asked me to consider quitting my job. It's the last thing that's truly mine. But when this baby comes, he or she will need me because John won't be around. How can I be that selfish?" Her voice broke, and she crumbled into silent sobs.
Virginia stood, gently taking Savannah from CJ's arms and placing her in the crib. CJ snapped her maternity bra back into place and pulled her shirt down, her hands trembling. When she was done, Virginia wrapped her in a tight hug. For a moment, CJ felt a sense of comfort and protection she hadn't realized she needed.
When her sobs subsided, Virginia released her and handed her a tissue. CJ wiped her face, her breath still shaky.
"Claudia Jean," Virginia said softly, using CJ's full name in a way that felt both tender and grounding. "Talk to Johnny. Tell him everything you just told me. The longer you wait, the harder it's going to be."
CJ nodded, her eyes downcast but her resolve firming.
As Virginia turned to leave, she paused at the door and looked back with a warm smile. "Oh, and congratulations," she said, her voice filled with genuine joy.
—-~*~—-
John didn't arrive home until eleven that evening and CJ was already asleep. Those early months of pregnancy left her more drained than usual. Tonight he didn't wake her feeling quite exhausted as well. Instead he showered and fell asleep almost instantly.
He rose early the next morning. Savannah woke her with a screeching cry. She had slept through her initial whines.
Cody calmed and her brought her to CJ to feed.
Where's your father?
Already gone. Press conference is today. He said to meet him at the headquarters. What me to feed her some cereal first?
No I'll feed her first then make her a little rice cereal with bananas, she said reaching a hungry little girl. Good Morning Princess, she said gleefully as Savanna smiled happy to see her mother.
Before unbuttoning her shirt she glanced at Cody who was lingering.
Bye Cody, she smirked.
Oh yeah okay, he said turning to leave. I can feed her if you want to get dressed.
Thank you sweetie.
After he left CJ smiled to herself as she pulled her nightshirt over her head. Her daughter already reaching for her breast.
—-~*~—-
"Boys, I'm going to meet your father," CJ announced from the doorway, her voice carrying a mix of determination and weariness.
Cody yelled back from the living room, his attention fully absorbed by the video game he was playing. Savannah, seated in her bouncer nearby, watched him with wide, curious eyes, her tiny hands waving at the colorful lights and sounds.
Aiden, now fifteen and nearly as tall as CJ, came down the stairs and gave her a quick hug before joining Cody in the living room. His presence was a quiet comfort, though his teenage aloofness was starting to show.
"The press conference is at ten," CJ continued, glancing at the clock. "I'll be back afterward. If Savannah gets hungry, there's milk in the fridge. You can give her a bottle."
"Got it, Mama," Cody replied, his eyes still glued to the television. "Bye."
CJ smiled faintly, though her heart felt heavy as she stepped out the door. She was about to head to her car when she noticed a sleek black sedan idling at the curb. A driver stood beside it, holding the door open for her.
"Mr. Hoynes sent me to pick you up, ma'am," the driver said politely.
CJ sighed, both relieved and slightly annoyed. It felt a bit over the top, but she couldn't deny the practicality. She hadn't driven much in Houston, and her sense of direction was notoriously bad. "Thank you," she said, climbing into the back seat.
As the car pulled away, she smoothed the fabric of her navy dress, one of the many pieces chosen by John's image consultant. The dress was fine—simple, elegant, and appropriate for the occasion. But the black platform heels she'd been instructed to wear were another story. They were clunky, uncomfortable, and completely unlike her usual style. Still, she knew how much was riding on this moment. Every detail, from her hair to her shoes, would be scrutinized. John's candidacy could be affected by something as trivial as her attire, and she wasn't about to let him down.
Traffic was heavier than expected, and by the time they arrived, it was already fifteen minutes to ten. CJ stepped out of the car, her stomach churning with nerves or maybe it was the morning sickness that had been plaguing her for weeks. She barely made it past the makeup artist, who was waiting to touch her up, before rushing to the bathroom.
John noticed her hurried exit, his brow furrowing as he watched her disappear down the hallway.
Inside the bathroom, CJ leaned over the sink, dry heaving for what felt like an eternity. She hadn't eaten anything that morning, and her stomach was empty, but the nausea was relentless. After a few minutes, she splashed cold water on her face, trying to compose herself. When she stepped out, John was waiting by the door, his expression unreadable.
"John! I—" she stammered, her voice shaky.
"We'll discuss it when I get home," he whispered, his tone low and firm.
"And when will that be?" she shot back, her frustration bubbling to the surface.
John's jaw tightened, but he forced a smile, aware of the eyes watching them. He leaned in, pressing a passionless kiss to her temple, his hand briefly caressing her back. It felt cold and uninviting. It was a gesture meant to look affectionate, but his eyes told a different story. They were sharp, angry, and filled with unspoken words.
Without another word, he turned and walked away, joining his campaign manager for a last-minute briefing before the press conference began.
CJ stood there for a moment, her heart pounding, before the makeup artist rushed over and guided her into a chair. "We need to soften the glare from the cameras," the woman said briskly, dabbing powder onto CJ's face.
CJ closed her eyes, trying to steady her breathing. The weight of the moment pressed down on her, and she couldn't shake the feeling that everything—her family, her marriage, her future—was hanging in the balance.
—-~*~—-
Despite the tension simmering between her and John, the announcement of his presidential campaign was met with overwhelming enthusiasm. CJ played her part flawlessly, standing by his side as the supportive wife, even offering him a quick peck on the lips after his speech. They posed for pictures together, her smile radiant and unwavering, though her heart felt anything but steady.
Inside the building, they were greeted with a round of applause and cheers from John's staff. The energy was electric, the phones ringing off the hook with calls of congratulations and offers of monetary donations. A fundraiser was already scheduled for that weekend, and the guest list was packed with some of the wealthiest and most influential people in the country. The thought made CJ's stomach churn or maybe it was the morning sickness creeping back in. Either she felt uneasy.
As the staff buzzed around them, John stepped in front of CJ, his back to the room. He looked down at her, her expression unreadable to anyone who might have glanced their way. Leaning in, he whispered something softly into her ear. CJ's face remained neutral, betraying nothing, though her chest tightened with every word. He kissed her cheek, a gesture that felt more perfunctory than affectionate, before turning and heading toward his office.
CJ gathered her purse, said a few polite goodbyes, and left the building, sliding into the waiting town car. The moment the door closed, her composure began to crack. She was furious with John, furious at the life they were stepping into, furious at the weight of expectations pressing down on her. When he had come to her that night after her date with Mark, she had known she wanted to be with him. Their entire courtship had felt like a journey toward this moment, but now that it was here, she wanted to run. To take Savannah, her unborn child, and escape from the chaos that was closing in around them.
Tears streamed down her face as the car pulled away, the driver oblivious to her silent breakdown. By the time they reached the house, her emotions had boiled over. She muttered a curt "thank you" to the driver, slammed the front door behind her, and collapsed against it, her composure shattering completely. Sobs wracked her body as she slid to the floor, her tears falling uncontrollably.
The sound alerted the boys. Aiden and Cody rushed to her side, their faces etched with concern. Without a word, they helped her up and guided her upstairs to her bedroom, where she fell gracelessly onto the bed, her sobs echoing through the room.
The boys exchanged a worried glance before Cody quietly closed the door, giving her the space she needed. They retreated to their respective corners of the house, the usual noise and chaos replaced by an uncharacteristic silence. Cody stayed with Savannah, keeping her entertained and happy, while Aiden and Noel retreated to their rooms, the weight of the moment hanging heavy in the air.
Four hours later, John stormed into the house, his anger palpable. "Where's your mother?" he demanded, his voice sharp as he found Aiden and Noel in the living room playing Battleship.
"Upstairs," Aiden replied, his tone cautious. "Why?"
John didn't answer. Instead, he took the stairs two at a time, his frustration mounting. When he reached the bedroom door, he found it locked. "Claudia!" he shouted, banging on the door.
Cody stepped out of his room, his expression firm. "She's upset and needs to rest. Leave her alone," he said, his voice carrying a warning edge.
John turned on him, his eyes blazing. "What did you say to me? I suggest you go back to your room and mind your damn business, young man!"
But Cody didn't back down. This was his mother, and she needed protection, even from his father. "No, Dad," he said, his tone respectful but unwavering. "Let Mama be."
It was a side of Cody that John hadn't seen before. The boy who had once been so carefree and aloof was now standing his ground with a maturity that caught John off guard. Cody had taken on more responsibility in recent months, stepping into the role of protector with a quiet determination.
John stared at his son for a long moment, the tension between them crackling like a live wire. Finally, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the house, leaving behind the suffocating weight of unresolved emotions.
There was no winning or losing today, just the truth. And the truth was that they both needed space to process the shifting dynamics of their lives. For now, that would have to be enough.
—-~*~—-
It was well after midnight when John returned home, but instead of heading straight to the house, he made an unexpected detour. The car wound its way through the quiet streets of Evergreen Forest Cemetery, the headlights cutting through the darkness as John sat in the back seat, lost in thought.
Where had he gone wrong? They had been happy, truly happy. Savannah had brought so much joy into their lives, and for a while, everything had felt right. But now, the weight of his ambition seemed to be pulling them apart. CJ had known what she was signing up for, hadn't she? So why had she become so withdrawn over the past few months?
"We're here, sir," the driver said softly, pulling John from his thoughts.
He stepped out of the car, clutching a bouquet of flowers, and made his way through the cemetery. The lamplight cast a faint glow, just enough to guide him to one particular grave.
Susanne Mary Ann Hoynes, the headstone read. *Beloved Daughter, Wife, and Mother.*
John placed the flowers gently in front of the headstone, his breath visible in the cold January air. He pulled his coat tighter around him and slipped on his gloves, the chill seeping into his bones.
"What have I done, Susanne?" he asked quietly, his voice trembling with emotion. "I love her so much. But today… I lost it. She's pregnant, and instead of being happy, all I felt was anger. Why am I like this?…She doesn't want this, not the presidency, not the life that comes with it. I thought she'd change her mind when she saw how important it was to me, but she hasn't. And it's tearing us apart, just like it tore us apart."
He paused, his eyes fixed on the headstone as if waiting for an answer that would never come. "I have a daughter now," he continued, a small smile breaking through his sorrow. "Savannah. She's beautiful, just like her mother. And the boys Cody, Aiden, Noel, they're everything to me. Cody… you should see him with his sister. He's her protector. They all are, but Cody… he's grown so much. He stood up to me today, did you know that? Told me to leave CJ alone. I didn't know he had it in him."
John's voice cracked, and he wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. "What do I do, Susanne? I can't lose her. I can't lose any of them. Without them, I'm nothing."
He stood there for a long time, the silence of the cemetery wrapping around him like a blanket. More questions flooded his mind than answers, but there was no resolution to be found here. Finally, he leaned down, kissed his fingers, and pressed them gently to the headstone. "I miss you, Susanne," he whispered.
With that, he turned and walked back to the car, the weight of his thoughts still heavy on his shoulders.
When he arrived home, the house was quiet. The boys were in bed, and Savannah was fast asleep in her nursery. He peeked into her room, watching her for a moment before closing the door softly and heading to the master bedroom.
The door was unlocked now, and he slipped inside, stripping down to his boxers before climbing into bed beside CJ. She stirred as the mattress dipped, her eyes glistening in the darkness.
"Hi," she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Hello, baby," he replied, his tone earnest as he lay down facing her. "I'm running for president, and we're having a baby," he said, the words hanging in the air between them.
CJ didn't respond immediately. Instead, tears pooled in her eyes, and John reached out to gently wipe them away.
"When you're ready to talk, I promise I'll listen," he said, his voice steady.
"I want to keep working," she said after a moment, her voice trembling. "But if you win… I'll resign after I have the baby."
"Okay," he said simply. "We'll deal with it."
"I don't want to miss you, John," she admitted, her voice breaking. "I don't want us to end up divorced. I need you."
And there it was, the heart of her fear. It wasn't the presidency itself that scared her; it was the toll it would take on their relationship. She was afraid of losing him.
"I promise you, baby," he said, his voice firm but gentle. "Right here, right now, I promise that I will always make time for us. I don't care if it's two phone calls a day while I'm on the road. I don't care if it's two in the morning and we're both exhausted, surviving on coffee the next day."
CJ smiled faintly at that, the first real smile he'd seen from her in months. "You hate coffee," she said, her voice tinged with amusement.
"So I'll drink a gallon of caffeinated tea," he replied, a small laugh escaping him. "I don't care. We'll make the time. We have to. You and our children are the most important things in my life. I am nothing without you. I love you, baby."
"I love you too," she whispered, her tears flowing freely now as he pulled her into a tight embrace, as if he could never let go.
The fell asleep in that position. Nothing else was needed tonight. Just comfort of each other's embrace. The future held a litany of challenges ahead but as long as they had each other nothing could stand in their way.
—-~*~—-
Savannah stirred in the early hours of the morning, her soft whimpers breaking the stillness of the house. CJ, ever attuned to her daughter's needs, rose from bed quietly, careful not to wake John. She padded across the room, her bare feet brushing against the cool hardwood floor, and leaned over the crib.
"Hey, baby girl," CJ whispered, her voice warm and soothing as she reached down to lift Savannah into her arms. The baby reached out, her tiny hands grasping at CJ's shirt, her mouth already searching for nourishment. "Hungry?" CJ asked with a soft smile, though it was clear Savannah was more than just hungry, she was starved.
CJ settled into the rocking chair, the familiar creak of the wood filling the quiet room. She lifted one side of her shirt, letting it drape over Savannah's head as the baby latched on, sucking feverishly. CJ winced slightly as Savannah's two bottom teeth pressed against her tender skin. "Okay, little one," she murmured, switching her to the other side, which wasn't as sore.
The room was bathed in the soft glow of dawn, the faint light filtering through the curtains as CJ rocked gently, her hand resting on Savannah's back. She hummed softly, the sound blending with the rhythmic creak of the chair.
A few minutes later, Cody appeared in the doorway, his hair tousled and his eyes heavy with sleep. "Mama?" he mumbled, rubbing his face. "I can take her if you want."
CJ shook her head, smiling at her son. "No, go back to sleep. I've got her."
Cody nodded, too tired to argue, and shuffled back to his room. CJ watched him go, her heart swelling with pride. He had grown so much, stepping into the role of protector and helper without hesitation.
Fifteen minutes later, Savannah's sucking slowed, her eyelids fluttering as she drifted back to sleep. CJ carefully lifted her, cradling her close for a moment before placing her gently back in the crib. She adjusted the blanket, tucking it snugly around her daughter, then crept out of the room, closing the door softly behind her.
Back in the bedroom, John was still asleep, his breathing deep and even. CJ slipped under the covers, her body sinking into the mattress with a sigh. After the emotional whirlwind of the previous day and night, she felt a sense of peace. She had laid her heart bare, and John had listened—really listened. His reassurances had grounded her, even if her fears still lingered at the edges of her mind.
As she settled into the warmth of the bed, John stirred, rolling over and slinging an arm around her. He pulled her close, his body molding against hers, and CJ smiled, snuggling into his embrace. She closed her eyes, letting the steady rhythm of his breathing lull her back to sleep.
Two hours later, the room was bathed in the golden light of morning. CJ awoke to the sensation of John's lips trailing kisses along her neck, his hands roaming her body with a familiar urgency. She sighed, her body responding instinctively as he shifted, settling between her thighs. Her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer as he pressed into her, their movements slow and deliberate at first, then building in intensity.
Their hands clasped tightly, fingers interlaced, as John's thrusts grew deeper, more urgent. CJ's breath hitched, her head pressing back into the pillow as pleasure coiled tightly within her. "John," she whimpered, her voice trembling. "John…"
His lips found hers, silencing her with a kiss that was both tender and demanding. One of his hands released hers, sliding down to grip her thigh and lift it higher, allowing him to push even deeper. CJ gasped, her back arching as she teetered on the edge.
"Baby," she cried, her free hand cupping his face, her thumb brushing against his cheek. Her body trembled, waves of pleasure crashing over her as she came undone beneath him.
John's movements grew sharper, more erratic, as he chased his own release. "Oh God," he groaned, his voice rough with need. He shuddered, his body tensing as he spilled into her, his breath coming in ragged gasps.
He collapsed onto her, his weight a comforting presence as they both struggled to catch their breath. Sweat glistened on his back, and CJ's legs fell limply to the bed, her body boneless and sated.
"I love you," John murmured, his lips brushing against her neck before finding hers in a slow, lingering kiss.
"I love you too," CJ whispered, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on his back as they lay tangled together, the world outside their room fading away.
—-~*~—-