CHAPTER 5:
TALKS OF FATHERHOOD AND LOVE
"Harry, may I speak with you alone?"
Harry blinked at the request from Arturia Pendragon at dinner, before nodding. He gave his apologies to Barghest and Delphi, along with their respective Servants, before sitting at a spare table with the King of Knights. Erecting a Privacy Charm, just in case, he then asked, "Okay, what's wrong, Arturia?"
The blonde woman in the body of a girl frowned, looking ill at ease, before she finally said, "Harry, I must ask you…what is it like raising the child of two of your greatest enemies? How do you manage such a thing?"
Harry blinked. "Sorry, what? Arturia, this is a bit out of left field. What brought this on?"
Arturia Pendragon toyed with her food, an unusual sight from the usually-gluttonous Servant, before speaking. "I realised earlier today that, if other Servants will be summoned, then eventually, so will my knights. Already, I feel ill at ease at the thought of fighting by their side once more, as I feel that I have failed them. Lancelot, Gawain, Gareth…Kay. 'The King does not understand human feelings', Tristain rebuked me before leaving my service. But even then, I feel that I should be able to understand them better now."
After a moment, Harry realised what she was getting at. "But you're particularly worried about Mordred, aren't you?"
Arturia chuckled morosely. "Indeed, Harry. During my time in the Fifth Holy Grail War, and remaining as a familiar for a time in the aftermath, I began re-examining many of my decisions in life. Most, I would make again without hesitation. Others, I would consider more carefully. And more than a few, I should have handled far better. Mordred was one of them. Admittedly, I did learn through Mordred that I had a child from Morgan raping me while I was briefly a man. But I could have reacted better."
"What did he want? I mean, Mordred?"
"He? Mordred was female, biologically, anyway," Arturia Pendragon said. "I know not whether she was truly what you would call a transsexual these days, or whether she presented herself as male to be accepted as a knight, and simply did not like being called a girl out of perceived notions of frailty. I concealed my own gender with Merlin's help, but Gareth was accepted as a knight despite being female herself. In any case, Mordred revealed her face and her parentage to me because she wanted to be named heir to my throne. I rejected such a thing, for a number of reasons. Firstly, the fact that Morgan had raped me and produced a child from such an incestuous union was a great shock to me. Secondly, Mordred, for all that she was a brave, valiant, and, at the time, loyal knight, had few of the qualities needed in a king. She was a good administrator, true, and a good leader, but she was impatient, partial, and impulsive. And finally…I will admit, I believed I would be staying on the throne much longer than I would end up being."
"So…you basically fucked up," Harry said bluntly. "You didn't try to explain why to her?"
Arturia Pendragon shook her head. "I never needed to explain myself as king. I merely issued the edicts as needed. They were, on the whole, accepted, but with Mordred, I did, as you said so crudely but accurately, fuck up."
Harry stifled a snort at his Servant, the prim, proper and regal King Arthur, swearing like that in such a posh tone. "And that's why Mordred rebelled against you?"
"She was always meant to overthrow me on Morgan's behest, but she didn't wish to out of admiration of me, until that point. It wasn't her mother being Morgan I had issues with, I hasten to say," Arturia Pendragon pointed out. "Gawain, Agravain, Gareth, all loyal knights who were nonetheless my half-sister's children, and for all their faults, their loyalty to me was absolute, even if their expression of said loyalty, in hindsight, caused problems of their own. It was part of the reason I accepted Barghest being a former liege of her version of Morgan. But…while the legends paint Mordred as a traitor, which she still was, I am at least perceptive enough to realise that her rebellion was, from one viewpoint, a teenaged temper tantrum on a national scale…and that if I had handled her better, then maybe Camelot may not have fallen, at least not then."
"And you came to me for parenting advice?" On her nod, he rubbed his forehead. "Arturia, no matter what a bunch of celebrities and shrinks hungry for book royalties might say, there's no such thing as an instruction manual for parenthood. Especially as I didn't really have role models for such growing up. The Dursleys were pieces of shit, my godfather was in jail for over a decade, so…yeah. I had to make it up as I went along when I adopted Delphi. And even then, at times I fucked up. Like when Delphi's true parentage came out. I am so lucky Luna helped smooth things over. But…I tried to ensure she was happy, that she was loved, because I did grow to love her, Arturia. I adopted her mostly because I didn't want her to grow through what I went through, or what Voldemort went through. And that bitch Euphemia Rowle wouldn't have been a good parental figure."
"And you seem to have done a fine job. Delphi is vulgar, lacking in discipline, and impulsive, yet she has a good heart, and is very intelligent," Arturia said. "Indeed, she reminds me a lot of Mordred. That is part of the reason I approached you."
"Well…look, Arturia, the only advice I can give to you is…talk it out with her if she is summoned here, or we encounter her in a Singularity," Harry said. "I'll help if need be, but…it needs to mostly come from you. Don't get me wrong, I hate traitors of every stripe, yet from what you're telling me, Mordred needed…well, you to be a father. I get that you didn't want to make her your heir, but…maybe she just wanted your approval, to be your child."
"Perhaps. And thank you. Do not misunderstand me, I was thinking along similar lines, but I wanted a second opinion from someone who became a father, adoptive or not, under dark circumstances," Arturia Pendragon said.
"I had help. From Hermione, from Luna, from the Weasleys, and lately, from Barghest and Melusine," Harry said, indicating the two Fae.
Arturia Pendragon nodded, before eventually saying, "You and Barghest are lovers?"
"Husband and wife, we actually got wedded in a quiet civil ceremony not long before coming to Chaldea," Harry said, before chuckling in recollection. "The Daily Prophet had a field day, accusing me of being secretive. As if I would let them or all the slack-jawed gawkers of Magical Britain to watch me get hitched to Barghest."
"And you intend to have children?"
"Eventually, yes. We checked, Fae hybrids are surprisingly common. Luna's of Fae descent. We just need a fertility potion to maximise the chances, as Fae in general aren't very fecund, even if they can remain capable of child-rearing for centuries if they live that long. But…we're hoping to hold off until after the Grand Order is finished," Harry said grimly. "Barghest being pregnant during this clusterfuck is a risk, after all. She and Melusine are our strongest fighters who aren't Servants, and who can fight on the same level. And we don't want to bring a child into the world, only to risk them dying if we fail." Harry looked to Barghest, and chuckled fondly. "She's not everyone's picture of an ideal woman with her looks, but I'm glad I fell for her. Your sister, or at least her alternate version, was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen, given what I saw through Barghest's memories, but that was only on the outside. But Barghest…for all that she did as Morgan's enforcer, she kept her heart and soul. She is beautiful inside and out."
Arturia Pendragon actually chuckled fondly in her own turn, though the sound was tinged by a bittersweet edge. "I saw that your bond was strong even before you confirmed it. Unfortunately, my marriage with Guinevere was not so happy. Oh, we grew to love each other, but not as deeply as we could have. And you know at least the gist of what eventually happened."
"Lancelot?" Harry guessed.
Arturia Pendragon nodded solemnly. "I have many regrets about my reign, but how I handled Mordred, and how I handled Lancelot and Guinevere's affair rank amongst the highest." Her expression became even more melancholy. "And when I met Lancelot in the Fourth Holy Grail War…he was a Berserker, obsessed with battling me to the death, in order to gain any kind of expiation. I did not take that revelation well at all. Not that my Master at the time, Kiritsugu Emiya, would have cared. He and I never could see eye to eye, and while I understood his disgust with chivalry, his demeaning of all heroism and honour was something I could not stomach." She then met Harry's gaze. "You remind me of something between him and his adopted son, Harry, with both of their best qualities. I do not decry pragmatism when warranted, and I am glad you make an effort to consult with me."
Harry gave the Once and Future King a reassuring smile. "Arturia…one thing I hate is how Servants are called as such, that they're servants to their summoners, not the people they once were. At least one of my friends was a ghost, and let's face it, a Servant is basically a solid ghost, and in my book, that means you're still a person. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bowing to you because you were the King of the Britons…but I want to show respect to you as a person, and as one of the greatest figures in Britain's history. And to be frank, you're more experienced in actual warfare than I am, as is Barghest, so if I need advice, I'll ask for it. Just be prepared for me to act…well, without honour. I will never target innocents, you have my word on that, and anyone who does so on the enemy's side will live long enough to regret it. But if shooting someone in the head gets the battle done more quickly than a duel of honour, then I'll do just that. I just wanted to make that clear."
"Of course. I am disquieted by that, but you at least lay out your reasons, and for that, you have my thanks. You may have too much of Kiritsugu's teachings and attitudes within you, but you are far better than him by dint of morals and rapport with others. And Harry? Thank you for your counsel, about Mordred. I worry that we may end up seeing her ere long, and I wanted your advice should she make an appearance."
"Arturia, you're very welcome. And I am so glad I got someone like you as my first Servant. I may not be that chivalrous, but I can still admire it…"
"So, that is what she wished to speak about," Barghest mused as she towelled herself off after her shower. They were in their shared bedroom in the Expanded Trunk. Harry had asked Arturia if he could disclose their talk to Barghest, and was granted it. It was unlikely the Fae would get jealous, but he kept no secrets from his wife.
Harry nodded, even as he watched her dry her naked form, watching the muscles in her body shift beneath the surprisingly immaculate skin. Only a few scars dotted her body here and there, the results of cold iron or cursed weaponry. But she was the epitome of Amazonian beauty, and the bedsheet over the lower half of his body did little to hide his arousal. "I think she wanted fatherhood advice. Not that I'm good at giving it."
"Perhaps not, but you are undeniably a good father to Delphi," Barghest said, before heading back into the ensuite bathroom, putting the towel on its rack, and then re-entering, turning the lights off, and sliding into bed next to him. "And, I hope, one day to our future children."
The pair of them rolled onto their sides, facing each other. Barghest's eyes shone faintly in the dim light. Somewhat dimmer than the eyeshine present in some animals' eyes when light was shone into their eyes, but they still glowed softly. But it was not sinister. It was a thing of beauty, in a way, a reminder of how unearthly the Fae were.
Harry gently began stroking her horns, channelling a small amount of his magic into them. It was a common ritual for them at this time of night, even while talking. As Barghest moaned quietly, her cheeks flushing, he said, "Maybe, but…I had others to help me, Barghest. And you've been a good mother to Delphi these past couple of years."
"Hmm…I know. You and Delphi keep telling me that. I never really gave much thought to being a mother, despite my many lovers," Barghest whispered softly, before gasping sharply as he sent another pulse of magic into her horns. "I suppose it was my…ah! My upbringing in the Fang Clan. Few…mmmm…saw me as desirable."
"They were blind. Besides, I saw more than a few Fang Clan members in your memories, Barghest. Maybe their looks might have appealed to those with a fetish for that kind of thing, but they were savage beasts pretending to be dignified nobles."
Barghest chuckled, even as she gasped again, gently taking away his hand from her horns. "One day, I may show you a memory I had of an orgy held by Woodwose's chosen heir Baingan. Or perhaps I should not. The sight still haunts me to this day." Barghest cringed. "I was only there because I was working with the town guard at the time as a trainee, and my patrol was asked to quell a disturbance. A group of drunken and lustful Fae coupling in a mansion can get rather noisy. Woodwose was furious with Baingan. The Fang Clan pride themselves on their superficial grasp of manners and etiquette, and Baingan showed little of that. And the smell..."
"Okay, Barghest, I get it," Harry said, wincing.
"It was one of the reasons I was called Gawain the Glutton, once I became a Tam Lin," Barghest said. "They cared little about what my curse drove me to do. To the Fang Clan under Woodwose, one had to suppress one's instincts, and I was only spared being called an embarrassment by dint of my status as Morgan's enforcer. They did not care that I would have been happy to have a single lover either. I was a target of private and not-so-private mockery."
"People don't need much of an excuse to be cruel to each other," Harry remarked solemnly. "But you're a good person in spite of all of that."
Barghest hummed thoughtfully. "Yet you're a better person than I. I…" Her voice caught in her throat. "I fear that I do not deserve someone like you."
"You deserve some happiness at least, Barghest. And…I'm so glad you came into my life." With that, he leaned forward and brought his lips to her own.
For a time, that's what they did. They kissed, while their hands roamed their bodies, stroking and caressing. No words were truly needed, just sensuous expressions of lust and love. But they broke off, separating briefly, but merely as a hiatus, a prelude to what was to come.
"I love you, Harry," Barghest said with a smile.
"And I love you too, Barghest," Harry reciprocated, with a smile of his own.
From there, no more words were said. Instead, human and Fae reaffirmed their bonds, their actions in coupling speaking of their affections as much as words did. And proof that love can build many bridges, even if it needed a strong foundation of friendship and affection first…
CHAPTER 5 ANNOTATIONS:
Saber Arturia asks for parenting advice from Harry, and then Harry and Barghest have some bedtime talks, and some action. No lemons, of course, partly due to guidelines, and partly due to my incompetence in writing them.
No numbered annotations this time.