Pain on pain
A strange sense of trepidation set in Anna's chest the moment she walked into Elsa's room. No matter how many times she had visited her unconscious sister in the ICU, getting to see her now was messing with her emotions in a completely different way.
Knowing Elsa was now fully conscious and facing a painful recovery only reminded Anna of her sister's childhood. It was difficult to ignore how hard it was for her to endure yet another distressing rehabilitation. Despite the lack of detailed records regarding her medical history at Weselton's clinic, or the full extent of his experiments, Nielsen and the medical team concluded that Elsa likely suffered from serious infections throughout her childhood—her weakened immune system providing a reasonable explanation for the severity of her condition.
The weight of these revelations pressed heavily on Anna, but she forced herself to focus. Shaking her head, she tried to get rid of the disturbing thoughts and turned to focus on the nurse's voice, hoping her recommendations would bring some clarity on how best to help her sister.
The kind woman had patiently explained everything they needed to know about the medical equipment and the rules inside Elsa's room. Anna had listened attentively, right up until they stepped inside, when her attention was drawn to Elsa. She glanced at Kristoff, hoping he had paid more attention than she had, but to her consternation, he stood frozen at the threshold, his eyes fixed on Elsa's sleeping form.
"Is there anything else you need to know?" The nurse looked at Anna, waiting for any questions, but all she could offer was a shy smile.
"I'm sorry," she said in a low voice. "It's never easy to see her like this."
With her eyes closed, Elsa appeared to be a long way from recovery. Though her skin no longer had the sickly grey undertone from the weeks before, the contrast with the dark circles under her eyes and the bruises on her arms was impossible to ignore. The sharpness of her cheekbones stood out, showing a prominent weight loss, and every faint rise and fall of her chest under the loose hospital gown made her look thinner—smaller— than she'd ever seen her.
"No worries," answered the woman with a sympathetic smile.
"I've got to be honest," Anna said, trying to justify her lack of attention. "I was counting on his mother to be here to explain all these things to us…" She gestured towards Kristoff, whose eyes were still fixed on his sister.
Having left the room just before they entered the ward, Gerda had taken the opportunity to meet with Nielsen and her husband. Moving Elsa to a regular ward meant she would be more exposed, more vulnerable. And while Anna understood the risks involved couldn't be ignored, she had been hoping for Gerda to be with them for a few minutes before her meeting.
"Make yourselves comfortable and let me know if there's anything you need. I'll be in the office at the far end of the ward, near the entrance."
With a gentle pat on Kristoff's arm, the nurse asked for permission to walk out of the room, and only then he seemed to come out of his trance. Anna encouraged him to sit on the chair by the bed while she closed the door to give them some privacy.
Anna took a moment to scan the new room. It was slightly bigger than the one in the ICU, offering more space to move comfortably. The room felt cozier, not as sterile as the one in the ICU. A relatively large window on the left let in a soft, cool breeze, and a small couch in the corner was a nice addition, providing enough room for Gerda or Kai to join them.
Before Anna's eyes reached the bed, Elsa began to stir and her eyes fluttered open. They were distant, just like she remembered from the last time she had seen her. Even though they were no longer glassy from the fever, they were now dulled and cautious—tired in a way that went beyond just physical exhaustion. Elsa's fingers twitched slightly and Kristoff wasted no time and wrapped his hand in hers. He remained quiet, though, afraid one wrong word might disturb his sister.
Anna, on the other hand, took a couple of steps closer to the bed and greeted Elsa, her voice wavering only a bit. "Hey," she said softly, "It's us."
Elsa's gaze drifted between Anna and Kristoff, once, then twice. Eyes blinked heavily as they tried to make sense of their presence. "Anna," she whispered, her voice raspy but still carrying a hint of familiarity. "Kristoff. You're here."
"Hi, sis." Kristoff answered, his grip tightening ever so slightly on her hand. "We are. And we're not going anywhere."
His words seemed to calm Elsa, easing her breathing and relieving the tension in her body. She shifted slightly, attempting to find a more comfortable position. Despite the sharp pain flickering across her face, neither of them moved, allowing her to adjust at her own pace. Both Nielsen and Gerda had emphasised the importance of not pushing Elsa too hard and giving her the time she needed to regain her mobility.
Not feeling comfortable watching her sister struggle with the simplest of movements, Anna focused her attention on the light green blanket that covered her feet and adjusted it slightly. At every wince, she felt her heart tighten painfully, barely standing the feeling of impotence for not being able to help her.
"Does it hurt too much?" she asked softly.
Once Elsa rested her back and adjusted her injured arm, she offered a weak smile. The one they knew she used when she was lying. "It's fine."
Kristoff exhaled sharply through his nose. "Fine? Elsa, you almost—"
"Do you know what happened?" Anna interrupted, not before sending Kristoff a warning glance. The last thing they needed was to overwhelm her so suddenly.
Elsa nodded. "Gerda told me what happened…" Pulling her hand from Kristoff's grasp, she absentmindedly brushed her fingers over something under her gown, just above her chest. "So did Marshmallow."
A brief flicker of pain crossed Kristoff's eyes, but he pushed the feeling aside. "You shouldn't have let it get this bad," he said under his breath.
"I never thought it would get this bad," Elsa murmured, her eyes focusing on her injured hand. "It didn't—."
"That's not an excuse," Kristoff shot back, sharper than he intended, making both Anna and Elsa flinch. "Your hand must've been throbbing with pain for days."
The guilt on Elsa's face was immediate, and she made an effort not to meet his gaze. "I didn't want to be a burden," she admitted, her voice so low Anna could barely hear her from where she was standing.
"That's what scares me," Kristoff said quietly, the anger draining into something much softer and sadder. "That after everything you've been through, you keep insisting on facing everything on your own."
Anna placed a hand on Kristoff's shoulder, giving him a silent plea to ease up. She could see Elsa shutting down, retreating ever so slightly into a guarded shell. "Kristoff," she said gently, wanting to put a stop to it as soon as possible. "She's here."
Kristoff rubbed a hand over his face, nodding as he fought to keep his composure.
Elsa refused to meet their eyes but still muttered a faint, "I'm sorry."
In a swift movement, Kristoff wrapped his arms around his sister, forgetting for a moment about all the recommendations given . "Sorry," he said, his throat constricting. "I— I was so afraid."
Anna settled on the edge of the bed, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth when she noticed Elsa wrapping an arm around her brother's shoulders. Elsa's hand was trembling slightly, but she managed to tighten her fist on his cotton jacket, pulling him closer.
"Afraid doesn't quite describe it," Anna admitted as she caressed Elsa's leg over the blanket.
She tried not to grimace at how thin her sister's shin felt to the touch, and once again Anna's chest tightened, concern about Elsa's recovery washing over her. "Do you feel okay? I mean, I know 'okay' is a long way off, but… how are you feeling?"
Elsa let go of her brother and Kristoff understood it was best not to hold on too long and give her some space. Elsa's lips pressed together in thought as she tried to come up with the right words.
"I don't know," she finally said. "I'm tired, and it still hurts to move. But beyond that... It's like everything is muted."
Anna's brows knitted together in worry. "Muted?"
She tugged at her bandages, lost in thought for a long moment. "Like I'm not quite here."
"Your body's been through a lot. It's normal for things to feel strange for a while." Unsure of what else to say, she squeezed her sister's knee reassuringly.
There was a long silence where Elsa kept toying around with the bandages, too absorbed into her own thoughts to notice the worried glances between the couple.
Kristoff cleared his throat, drawing her sister back to the present. "Is there anything you need? To make things easier, I mean."
Her gaze met his, wavering with uncertainty. "I'd like to go home."
Kristoff sat back with a sigh, as if he had known the request was coming. "Elsa, you're still healing…"
"It'll be a while until you can leave the hospital, Elsa. I'm sorry." Anna explained, helping Kristoff deliver the bad news. "Is there anything else?"
Leaning back against the pillow, Elsa looked out the window, her eyes fixed on the clouds washed with the copper sunlight of the evening. "Can you stay then?"
Anna smiled softly. "Of course."
The breeze from the window grew colder as daylight faded. Night came faster than Anna expected; and even though Elsa had spent most of the time drifting in and out of light sleep, Anna couldn't bear the thought of the visiting hours to be over.
She was grateful Marshall was running late that evening. He hadn't shown up at eight like he usually did, and Anna suspected he was in the same meeting Kristoff had been called to half an hour before.
There were moments when she felt like she should be part of those meetings. Sometimes she wanted—needed—to know what the rest of the family was agreeing to do with Elsa's recovery and her safety. But then on times like this, she was relieved she wasn't needed every minute, like Gerda, Kai, or even Kristoff.
Sitting by her sister's side felt like the only right place to be, even when they weren't saying much, and Elsa seemed distant. The more time Anna spent with her sister, the more she realized how much she had missed her during those weeks. Being there with her, keeping her company, was enough.
Some minutes went by in silence until the door creaked open softly and Marshall walked into the room. He was still wearing the same pale cable-knit jumper he had been wearing ever since the nights grew colder, and Anna couldn't help wondering if he'd gone back to his place at all since Elsa had fallen ill. He paused just beyond the threshold, his usually stoic face softening the moment he noticed Elsa on the bed, still awake.
"Els," he greeted, his voice carrying a carefree undertone Anna hadn't heard from him in weeks. "I'm glad to see you have company."
He smiled and offered Anna a brief nod before closing the door and making his way to the other side of the bed.
"I'm sorry for being late today," he said as he carefully sat on the edge of the bed. Absent-mindedly tucking a strand of Elsa's hair behind her ear, he continued asking her about her day and the way she felt.
The motion was effortless, like something he had done a hundred times before and it caught Anna off guard. What surprised her the most was seeing Elsa barely react to the gesture. Her sister seemed unbothered, completely at ease with his touch, and Anna's early worries washed away for a brief moment. Perhaps Elsa wasn't completely withdrawn and closed off as she had feared.
Anna felt a pang of jealousy for a short moment. She hadn't mentioned her injured hand itching, nor the bandages being uncomfortably tight around her hand during the afternoon. The same way she hadn't admitted feeling nauseous either. However, she quickly pushed it aside, feeling good that Elsa was willingly opening up—if only slightly—and sharing a bit more of the way she felt.
She knew it was a matter of time until things went back to the way they were before. It would take Elsa a while, but she was certain she'd start opening up to her as well. She couldn't ignore Marshall had been a constant presence in Elsa's life for the last few weeks after all. He had probably seen her at her worst already. Admitting feeling nauseous now was probably just a small part of everything he had witnessed.
Once their conversation was over, Anna asked Marshall about her sister's recovery and the things she had to keep an eye on. He had only begun to answer her question when the door opened wide. A woman in her early fifties with a round, motherly figure, bustled into, surprising the three of them.
"No sitting on the bed." Her voice filled every corner of the room, forcing Marshall to his feet in an instant.
Her warm, expressive eyes gave her an air of familiarity. While her posture and demeanour, on the other hand, gave her an air of authority. Of someone who had spent years mastering the chaos inside the wards and was best not to challenge.
Realization didn't take long to wash over Marshall when he turned around. He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off before he could say a word.
"If it ain't Marshy himself," she said loudly, wasting no time in trying to embarrass him. "I didn't believe Frida when she told me the man looking after this young lady was you."
"Ingrid?" he asked, taken aback by her presence.
"So you do remember me," she said, closing the door. "I didn't expect you to visit us at the hospital after everything that happened, but you could've called, don't you think?" Turning to Anna she smiled mischievously before she continued. "I know spending time with beautiful young girls is more appealing, but it wouldn't hurt to invite an old lady out for a coffee sometime."
He rolled his eyes and tried to ignore her comments, but Anna could see a faint flush creeping up his neck. Going straight to what concerned him, he asked, "What are you doing here?"
"What do you think?" she asked with a snicker. Turning to Anna once again, she looked as if she was looking for confirmation. "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, is he?"
This time Anna couldn't suppress her laugh and she looked down as not to laugh in Marshall's face.
"I meant in this room."
Anna could hear the annoyance in his voice, though he remained calm as if the woman's remarks were nothing new. Ingrid ignored his question and walked to a small table, placed a few items on it, and only then turned to Marshall. She stood in front of him and raised an arm to reach his face. "Look at you. The mountain has been rough on your skin. And you keep that filthy beard. Such a handsome boy you were once." She then patted his face with a familiarity that surprised Anna and moved to the side to continue with her tasks.
"Ingrid," Marshall repeated her name, begging for her to answer his question.
"Shouldn't I be the one asking what you're doing here?" She smirked. "Though I think I already know the answer." She glanced at Elsa and then sent a wink to Anna.
"I… It's not—" He stuttered, struggling to hide his embarrassment. "Could you answer the question?
"This is my ward. You better get used to seeing me around here," she finally said firmly. Moving to the foot of the bed she picked up the clipboard and took notes on a small notepad. She then got closer to Elsa and shooed Marshall away from the bed. "Move. Let me do my job."
Her expression softened when her eyes met Elsa's. "There's no need for you to be so tense, dear. I'll be out of here in a blink."
Anna smiled, relieved to see Ingrid do her job with a gentleness she hadn't shown before. She asked Elsa a few questions, checked her blood pressure, oxygen levels and temperature. She then tried moving Elsa's left hand to inspect the wound, but Elsa pulled her hand away from the nurse.
"Let me help you," Marshall said without hesitation, taking her place and asking Elsa to let them see her hand. He carefully unwrapped the bandages and allowed Ingrid to assess the wound.
"She mentioned the bandages were too tight." Anna mentioned. Elsa hadn't complained about them to her in particular, but she felt it was worth letting the nurse know.
Curiosity got the best of Anna, and she stood up to take a closer look at Elsa's injured hand. Two jagged scars were visible. A long one ran along the palm, extending into her forearm where the doctors had worked to repair the tissue. The other, smaller, cut diagonally across her palm, from her thumb toward her little finger. The skin around the wound was red and slightly swollen, as if her body was still fighting the last remnants of the infection. There were still a few faint patches of bruising along the edges, slowly fading.
Elsa's fingers moved stiffly, reluctant to bend too far, but only a small tremor of discomfort betrayed her surprisingly calm exterior. Once Marshall had taken the nurse's place, cradling her hand gently, her reluctance disappeared. Though she nearly glanced at her wound before she turned her gaze elsewhere. Her expression was distant as if she had become reluctantly accustomed to the intrusive visits and her body's limitations. Yet, Anna could see a deep dejection in her eyes. Something that, despite everything Elsa had lived through, hadn't been there before. It made her fear that what they mistook for calmness was, in fact, a resignation too heavy to bear.
With a heavy heart, Anna sat back down and silently hoped for the nurse to finish her round soon. All she wanted was Elsa to be left alone for the night. She couldn't bring herself to be angry with the medical staff for doing their job, but her heart ached for her sister regardless.
Before leaving, Ingrid made another sarcastic remark about Marshall's diligent work and left them on their own. The three of them remained quiet for a long time, after that. Each preoccupied with their own concerns: Marshall remained by the door, resting his back on a wall with his arms crossed. Anna stayed where she was, sitting by Elsa's bed, quietly allowing the early uneasiness to take over while she looked at Elsa, who remained in her own world.
A moment later, Frida, the nurse who had accompanied Elsa from the very beginning, stopped by. She greeted them with a smile and administered Elsa the last dose of medicine for the day. She reminded Anna visit hours were over at ten and made sure to check if Marshall was the one staying for the night. When he nodded, she wrote it down and she told him he'd be able to find her in the small office near the entrance.
Anna thought it was odd for more than one nurse to show up in such a short time span, but she didn't question it. Instead she made sure to keep Elsa company, talking about the simplest things she could come up with until the medicine ran its course and she began to drift off to sleep.
It didn't take long for Elsa to fall asleep, and only then Anna dared ask Marshall about the nurse who had single-handedly made a fool out of him.
"Ingrid seems lively," she said, hoping the mountaineer would share a bit of his life with her.
"She shouldn't be here," he said, still absorbed in his thoughts.
He rummaged through his jeans pockets until he found a ragged piece of paper and sat down on the small couch with a tired sigh.
Anna made sure Elsa was fast asleep before she got closer. "What?"
"She isn't on this list." He handed the folded paper to Anna. "Nielsen never mentioned her name either."
"What do you mean?" Anna paid a quick look at the short list of names written on the paper. Four nurses and two doctors. Six people in total and none of them was Ingrid. "I thought you knew her."
"I do. We used to work together." he said, taking the list off her hand and folding it once again. "It doesn't change the fact she shouldn't be here."
Looking over her shoulder, Anna made sure Elsa hadn't woken up. She sat down next to Marshall and asked in a low voice. "You don't trust her?"
"It's not that…" He looked at the closed door, his brows knitting together. "She's a dedicated nurse. She instructed me and guided me when I was just starting as a paramedic."
"Could it be that Nielsen trusts that Elsa's powers won't act up?" She whispered. "Perhaps these people know about her powers." She pointed at the folded piece of paper. "While the rest of the staff will simply continue their work as if she was just another patient."
"I don't know." He breathed out tiredly, no remnants of his originally calm demeanour left. "I'll have to ask Nielsen about it."
Anna's gaze dropped to the floor, her fingers tightening around the fabric of her sleeves. The unfairness of it all consumed her suddenly. The uncertainty about Elsa's safety piled up with the concerns about her health and the way she dealt with recovery. It all felt like too much to hold and she could barely hold back the tears welling in her eyes.
The door creaked open for the third time in the last hour, and this time Gerda stepped into the room. Anna quickly blinked the tears away but allowed Marshall to answer whatever questions her mother-in-law had. They were mostly health related and she didn't suspect the way she was feeling.
To Anna's surprise, Marshall made sure not to mention Ingrid nor his concerns, and instead talked to Gerda calmly as if things were running its course smoothly. It was clear he was trying to reassure Gerda she could go home to rest.
With a smile she thanked them both and walked to Elsa's bed. Placing a hand on her forehead, she brushed a few stray strands of hair before she leaned down to kiss her sleeping daughter goodbye. She quietly promised to return in the morning and then made her way towards the door. Only then, she turned to Anna.
"It's almost ten, dear. You can come back with us in the morning if you'd like."
Anna nodded. She picked her jacket and sent her sister one last look before she left the room in silence.
Taking up Gerda's offer, Anna returned to the hospital the following morning. Most of the morning, she stayed with her mother-in-law keeping Elsa company. Once again, Elsa drifted in and out of sleep, barely present, and Anna didn't need a medical degree to see that the drugs kept her sister trapped in constant lethargy—yet she never looked truly rested.
Anna then left the hospital at midday and ran errands for Gerda during the early afternoon in an attempt to ease the woman's load. Day by day, Anna noticed that despite Elsa's slow recovery, Gerda seemed more tired, and she worried that the pressure would finally break her before Elsa was released from the hospital.
When she returned to the hospital, she was surprised to hear an unusual voice coming from her sister's room.
"Take it slow, Elsa. Just one step at a time."
It called her attention, and so she stopped on her tracks right outside the door. She shifted the bag in her arm and slowly pushed the door open. She tilted her head and discreetly scanned the room. Gerda was standing by the bed keeping a steadying hand on Elsa's back as she made an effort to stand on her own.
At first, Anna could barely contain her happiness at seeing Elsa standing on her own after so long. Though the initial excitement slowly faded when Anna noticed the tension in Elsa's body and the stiffness of her posture. She was barely upright, gripping the rail of the hospital bed for support, her knuckles white with effort as she tried in vain to stop her legs from trembling.
A rehabilitation doctor stood close to the bed, but far enough to give Elsa space to take a few tentative steps. He encouraged her to try moving her feet, and despite the pain written all over her face, she still obeyed. She slid a foot forward, in a weak unsteady step, and then the other. A sharp breath caught in her throat at the motion, but she refused to stop.
From where she was standing, Anna could see Elsa's legs shaking and her balance slipping, but before she could fall, Gerda reacted instinctively and caught her daughter in her arms.
Elsa collapsed against her, breathing heavily. For a moment, it seemed like she might pull away as soon as she regained her footing. But something shifted. Before Gerda could ask if she was okay, Elsa wrapped her arms around her, gripping her mother's shirt like a lifeline.
Gerda's eyes widened for a split second before softening. She held her daughter close, stroking her back in slow, soothing circles. "It's okay, sweetheart. You're doing so well."
From the doorway, Anna watched as her sister clung to her adoptive mother like never before. She swallowed hard, a vise tightening around her chest when she heard a muffled sob escape Elsa as she buried her face in her mother's shoulder. Gerda held her tighter, whispering something too soft for Anna to hear.
After a minute, Elsa's breathing steadied and slowly, hesitantly, she pulled back from Gerda's embrace. Anna expected her to step away and retreat, as she so often did, but instead she adjusted her grip, her good hand holding onto Gerda's forearm for support.
Gerda held her breath for just a second, but otherwise remained unaffected as she brushed the damp hair from Elsa's forehead. "It's going to be fine," she murmured, a reassurance meant for them both.
Elsa lowered her gaze, letting go of Gerda's arm as she nodded.
"That's enough for today, Elsa." The doctor spoke softly. "I agree with your mother, you did well."
Elsa didn't react at first, her eyes still focused on the floor between them, but as soon as the doctor called her name again, she blinked and shifted her weight slightly. Gerda reached for her, but Elsa had already started moving towards the bed.
Anna knew she was trying not to show it, but the pain still controlled every movement.
Gerda stepped forward, her arm outstretched. "Here, let me—"
"I've got it," Elsa murmured, though there was no strength behind the words.
The moment Elsa's legs gave out, warmth enveloped her. She hadn't meant to collapse into Gerda, but her body refused to pull away. As soon as she felt the comfort of her arms, the familiar safety they provided, she realised how much she had missed her.
A lump formed in her throat and before she could stop herself, tears slipped down her face, burning hot against her cold skin.
"It's okay, sweetheart," Gerda whispered, her steady hands keeping her from crumbling. "You're doing so well."
Elsa squeezed her eyes shut as a sob escaped her. She wanted to believe Gerda, but her legs hurt, her ribs protested with each breath, and her stomach churned as the dizziness from the medication pressed into her mind. She could feel the weight of the exhaustion pulling at her limbs and she felt helpless.
Kristoff and Anna's voices, telling her she couldn't go home, echoed in her mind, and only now did she understand what they meant. She couldn't go home. Not like this. And she was too tired to pretend otherwise.
Slowly, she loosened her grip and forced herself to steady herself. As she pulled back, her hand brushed against something under Gerda's shirt. Elsa's fingers hovered over it for a fraction of a second as her gaze flickered to Gerda's forearm. And though her mother didn't react, something in Elsa's gut twisted.
She didn't want to ask, as she wasn't sure she could handle the answer. And so instead, she swallowed hard before she let go.
The doctor's words barely registered at first. Her mind still caught on her spiralling thoughts. And by the time the man called her name again, she was already moving away from Gerda. The warmth of the embrace faded too quickly, and it made the hollow feeling inside almost unbearable. With a heavy sigh, she turned towards the bed.
She clenched her jaw, knowing it would take a lot of effort but she couldn't risk it. Gerda moved beside her, ready to catch her again, but Elsa pushed herself forwards. "I've got it." She said through gritted teeth, hoping it would convince her mother.
Each step sent a jolt of pain through her legs and lower back, and by the time she reached the bed, her throat felt tight and the burn in her eyes was almost unbearable. She lowered herself onto the mattress, trying to keep her movements controlled, but the moment she let go, her legs gave out completely.
Gerda's hands supported her, and Elsa's body tensed, resisting the touch. "Are you okay?" she asked, sensing her discomfort.
Elsa nodded. "I'm okay."
Unsure of what else to do, Gerda helped her onto the bed, adjusting the pillows behind her. Her hand lingered near Elsa's for a moment before she gave up and turned to the doctor.
They discussed things Elsa didn't fully understand and she couldn't help but wonder if it would make a difference if she did.
I've got to be honest and say I wasn't entirely sure where I was going when I started writing this chapter. I originally planned for it to be one of those "transition" chapters, but as I tried to write it, all the ideas felt dull. That's when I allowed myself to write whatever I wanted to read and this happened.
Elsa finding out was not supposed to happen. For the longest time I planned to simply let it slip. But here she is, barely standing and putting up a fight against me. Also, Ingrid wasn't supposed to drag Marshal through the mud the way she did, but she wouldn't stop. So I let her.
I hope you like the chapter. Let me know what you think of it!
Also, two chapters in February, look at that. Blessed be the rain that forces me to stay inside and gives me inspiration.