A/N: A short fun little story involving SI Ganon and Princess Zelda. SI woke up as Ganon and decided trying to take over the world was dumb. He first built himself a castle and worked his body to burn off his "excess energy". Before he could decide what else he wanted to do with his new life, Princess Zelda showed up at his door.

Princess Zelda Princess Zelda had faced many challenges in her life—learning to seal Calamities, solving ancient Sheikah puzzles, and watching Link eat suspicious amounts of dubious food without dying. But this? This might be her most difficult quest yet.

She sat on her pristine white horse, staring up at the entrance to the 'Dark Castle of Evil and Other Nefarious Things™', which, despite its ominous name, had a rather aesthetically pleasing gothic design. A part of her wanted to admire the architecture, but she had business to attend to.

Ganondorf had returned to the land of the living, and for the first time in history, he hadn't immediately declared war, stolen a princess, or turned into a pig demon.

Instead, he had built himself a home. A very large, very lavish, and very nice-looking home.

And Zelda, in all her infinite wisdom, had decided that this was an opportunity.

What if, instead of preparing for another oh-no-Hyrule-is-burning-again apocalypse, she just… talked to Ganondorf? What if she convinced him that maybe ruling wasn't all about world domination and ominous laughter? Maybe, just maybe, he could be good.

She even meticulously prepared a speech about peace, unity, and the benefits of an alliance. This was her chance to convince the Demon King to abandon his conquering ways and work for the good of Hyrule.

She'd spent weeks rehearsing her speech: 'Ganondorf, your reign of malice ends today. Join me in rebuilding Hyrule, and together we'll—'

It was a flawless plan.

Except, as she was invited to his throne room, she realized one massive, impossible-to-ignore problem.

'Oh no, he's hot!' Zelda froze. '-and Hylia's grace, he's shirtless!'

"Ah, Princess," Ganondorf purred, leaning against the frame. His voice was like molten velvet. "To what do I owe the… pleasure?"

Like, not just intimidatingly handsome, but aggressively attractive. She had been prepared for a warlord, a beast of a man, a nightmare given flesh. What she had not been prepared for was a 7-foot-tall, broad-shouldered, shirtless mountain of muscle, with piercing yellow eyes and a voice so deep it could shatter glass.

His abs glistened under the torchlight (why were there torches indoors? Dramatic flair, probably). His hair cascaded in perfect crimson waves. His smirk could melt a Frost Talus.

The man was built like someone had taken a god, dipped him in sin, and then sprinkled him with even more sin for good measure.

He sat on his throne, one leg lazily draped over the armrest, his fingers idly tracing the hilt of a sword that was entirely too large to be practical. His red hair cascaded down his back, wild but controlled, and his abs, had she mentioned his abs yet?—dear Hylia, his abs—looked like they could deflect Guardian lasers.

"I—uh—" Zelda's brain short-circuited.

She had trained for this conversation. She had rehearsed her arguments, prepared counterpoints, and even had backup evidence in case he tried to say, "But being evil is fun."

And yet.

Here she was.

Staring at his pecs.

'Focus, Zelda! Evil. Malice. Calamity. Stop staring at his abs and focus.'

"I… um… I have come to discuss… um…" She struggled to remember why she was here in the first place. Something about diplomacy? No, that couldn't be right. Surely she had come to admire the way his arms flexed when he moved.

Ganondorf arched a brow. "You're staring."

Zelda absolutely was.

"No, I'm not," she blurted. "I was just… analyzing your, um… evil aura."

Ganondorf smirked, which was unfair because no warlord had any right to smirk that sexily.

"Is that so?" he drawled, his voice dangerously smooth. He sat up, stretching lazily before standing to his full height. Zelda had always considered herself relatively tall for a Hylian woman, but standing next to 7 feet of absolute menace, she felt incredibly small.

"Y-you know," she stammered, trying desperately to remember any of her carefully planned points. "You could do so much more for Hyrule if you weren't, um… evil?"

Ganondorf took a slow step toward her. "Evil?" he echoed as if tasting the word.

"Y-yes." Why was her voice shaking? Was she nervous? Or was she just completely overwhelmed by the way his muscles flexed every time he moved?

"Princess," he said smoothly, "have you considered that perhaps… I am not the problem?"

Zelda's brain malfunctioned.

Because instead of analyzing his words for their deeper meaning, all she could hear was: 'Princess, have you considered that perhaps… you are incredibly attracted to me?'

"I—what?" she managed, before immediately cursing herself internally. FOCUS, WOMAN.

Ganondorf took another slow step forward, closing the distance between them. "Perhaps," he continued, his voice entirely too seductive for a political conversation, "Hyrule is the problem. Perhaps the people who sealed me away, the ones who feared my power—perhaps they were the ones who refused to see another path."

Ganondorf took another slow step forward, closing the distance between them. "Perhaps," he continued, his voice entirely too seductive for a political conversation, "Hyrule is the problem. Perhaps the people who sealed me away, the ones who feared my power—perhaps I wouldn't have been so angry at everything if I was sealed only months or even days after I was freed? Maybe they were the ones who refused to see another path."

Zelda blinked. That… was actually a good point.

Unfortunately, her brain was not working properly because all she could focus on was how stupidly attractive he was.

Her diplomatic brain was screaming at her. 'He's the enemy! He's a conqueror! Focus on the discussion!'

But her traitorous brain was like, 'Yes, but what if we just licked his abs real quick?'

Ganondorf tilted his head. "Princess?"

Zelda realized she had gone completely silent again, her mind stuck somewhere between diplomatic negotiation and outright thirst.

"I—I should go," she said quickly, taking a step back.

Ganondorf's smirk widened, and Hylia help her, it was devastatingly charming.

"Are you sure, Princess?" he purred. "You haven't even finished your proposition."

Zelda absolutely could not finish this conversation. Not like this. Not while she was one second away from abandoning Hyrule just to sit on his lap.

"Maybe you don't like this open room," He stepped aside, gesturing grandly toward the darker recesses of his castle. "Perhaps, Princess, our discussion would benefit from a more... private setting?"

Zelda knew she should refuse, that it was the strategically sound thing to do. But looking at him, with that body carved like a statue of some dark god, and that smirk promising all kinds of sin, she found herself nodding before she even realized what she was agreeing to.

"Lead the way," she said, her voice steadier than she felt.

Ganondorf turned, leading her deeper into his citadel with a confident stride. Zelda's eyes couldn't help but drop to his broad backside and the way his pants clung to his muscular ass. She bit her lip, her mind racing with thoughts that had nothing to do with diplomatic negotiations and everything to do with what he might look like without those pants.

He led her into a lavishly decorated room, the walls draped with dark, rich fabrics that made the whole space feel intimate and secluded. The room was lit by flickering torches that cast dancing shadows, adding to the illicit feel of the meeting.

"Please, make yourself comfortable," Ganondorf said, gesturing to a plush, oversized couch.

Zelda sat, her posture rigid with tension and anticipation while Ganondorf poured them each a glass of wine. He handed her one, their fingers brushing briefly, sending a jolt of electricity through her. She took a sip and tried to focus on the taste of the wine but found her gaze wandering over to Ganondorf, who had taken a seat close to her, close enough that she could feel the heat emanating from his body.

They tried to talk, really they did. Ganondorf spoke of his vision for Hyrule, a place where his strength guided by her wisdom could ensure peace and prosperity. Zelda tried to listen, tried to think of counterarguments, but her eyes kept drifting to his lips, to the way his throat moved when he swallowed, to the pulse visible at the base of his neck.

"Uh-huh..." She nodded along with his words.

"Oh Hylia, yes!" Princess Zelda moaned.

Before she knew it, she found herself bouncing on top of Ganon. His delicious cock was deep inside her pussy, stretching her to the limit with every thrust. Her boobs bounced with each movement and she moaned loudly, completely lost in the sensation. Ganondorf's hands gripped her hips, guiding her movements, his thumbs pressing into her flesh hard enough to leave bruises.

He thrust up into her, her pussy clenching around his length as her pleasure spiked. Zelda leaned forward, bracing her hands against his shoulders. She felt wild, horny, and so fucking wet.

She kissed him and he met her with an equally feverish response, his mouth devouring hers with an intensity that matched their coupling. His tongue explored her mouth as relentlessly as his dick explored her pussy. He tasted of wine and lust, his lips smooth yet demanding, a perfect blend of harsh dominance and gentle passion.

Ganondorf broke the kiss, trailing his lips down her neck, biting gently at her collarbone.

"Mmmm..." she moaned, grinding her hips. "Oh Hylia, you feel so good inside me."

Ganondorf grunted in acknowledgment. "You feel fucking amazing, Princess," he growled.

Her hands explored his chest, feeling the hard muscles under his skin, tracing the lines of his abs. Ganondorf groaned, his eyes dark with desire as he watched her touch him. He shifted, pushing her back slightly so he could take one of her nipples into his mouth. He sucked hard, and Zelda cried out, her back arching, pushing her breast deeper into his mouth.

The room was filled with the sounds of their moans, the slap of skin on skin, and the soft creak of the couch under their movements. Zelda rode him harder, feeling the pleasure building inside her, her pussy clenching around his cock.

"I'm going to cum," she gasped, her voice high and desperate.

"Then come. Come for me, Zelda," Ganondorf commanded, his hands squeezing her ass, pulling her down onto his dick even harder.

With a loud moan, Zelda came, her body shaking as waves of pleasure rolled over her. Ganondorf wasn't far behind, his body tensing as he thrust up into her one last time and then he was coming too, his cock pulsing inside of her, filling her up with cum.

They collapsed together, breathless and spent, their bodies slick with sweat. Zelda lay on top of Ganondorf, her head resting on his chest, listening to his heart pounding in his chest. He tilted her head up and kissed her again, this time slow and gentle, as their bodies calmed. He moved a hand from her ass to the side of her face, cradling it in a gesture that felt intimate

For a long moment, they stayed like that, their bodies pressed together as they caught their breath. Zelda's mind was a blur, her thoughts jumbled and incoherent as she tried to process everything. She couldn't believe what had just happened, couldn't believe how completely she had lost herself in him. She knew she should logically feel bad, concerned, guilty, or any other source of negative emotions... but all she could feel was a deep, aching satisfaction, her body still humming with the aftershocks of her climax.

Ganondorf leaned back, a satisfied smirk on his face. "Well, Princess," he said, his voice smooth and teasing, "I'd say that was a successful negotiation."

Zelda groaned, burying her face in her hands. "This is not what I came here for."

Ganondorf chuckled, his hand resting on her thigh. "Perhaps not. But I think we both got what we wanted."

Zelda couldn't argue with that. As she lay there, her body still tingling, she realized that maybe, just maybe, diplomacy wasn't her strong suit after all.

'No, my diplomacy was perfect. I was just... distracted,' she thought then she giggled. 'But maybe I can handle a little distraction now and again.'

The alliance between Princess Zelda and Ganondorf, King of the Gerudo, was hailed as a miracle. Treaties were signed, trade routes flourished, and Hyrule entered an unprecedented era of peace. Citizens marveled at Zelda's diplomatic genius, whispering tales of her ability to "tame the Demon King" through reason and grace. Little did they know how very little reason and grace had been involved in their negotiations.

Every month, Zelda would ride out to the Gerudo Desert for "peace talks" at Ganondorf's fortress. The guards, well-trained in discretion, would bow and usher her into his private chambers, where negotiations swiftly devolved into far more primal activities.

"You're late, Princess," Ganondorf would growl the moment the door shut, already unbuckling his belt.

"Traffic at Kara Kara Bazaar," Zelda would reply, hiking up her skirts and bending over his desk. "Now quit complaining and fuck me."

Ganondorf, ever the overachiever, took pride in his… contributions to the alliance. Sometimes his massive cock would pound into Zelda's pussy with a vigor that left her clawing at the stone walls, other times her ass would be bouncing against his hips as he filled her to the brim.

"This… hnng… counts as… ah!… diplomatic meeting," Zelda once gasped mid-thrust, earning a throaty laugh from Ganondorf before he silenced her with a kiss.

Their "meetings" always ended the same way: with Zelda screaming his name as he slammed into her and her boobs bouncing wildly until they both came in a sweaty, shuddering heap.

The kingdom thrived. Crops grew, monsters retreated, and even the Yiga Clan pivoted to selling novelty banana-scented candles. Meanwhile, Zelda's royal advisors puzzled over her "exhaustive peacekeeping efforts," noting how she'd return from the desert disheveled, limping slightly, and glowing with a suspiciously post-coital radiance.

"Stress relief," she'd explain breezily, adjusting her crown. "Yoga. Deep breathing. You wouldn't understand."

Years later, Hyrule's history books memorialized Zelda as a visionary leader who "channeled the Goddess's wisdom" to unite the realm. The truth, stained in a hidden abode of Ganon's castle, was less dignified:

As for Ganondorf? He never stopped his "conquering ways." He just redirected his ambitions.

"Why conquer Hyrule," he mused once, flipping Zelda onto her stomach and spreading her ass cheeks, "when I can conquer this?"

Zelda, face buried in a pillow, could only moan in agreement.