Chapter 10
Turned out Lou was the first to get cleared for riding. Her hand bore a deep scar and some loss of feeling, but she was more or less healed. Her heart had healed as well. Confiding in Jimmy unburdened her; now she did not have to carry her secret or the pain alone. They'd grown closer in their time convalescing together. Their physical conditions being what they were, forced them to focus on the other aspects of their relationship. Lou realized she'd become closer to Jimmy than she'd ever been to anyone. She still mourned for Charlotte and wished things could have turned out differently, but knowing Wicks was gone gave her some comfort.
As the rider approached, arm stretched out, mochila in hand, a large smile spread across Lou's face. She missed riding and the feeling it gave her. She needed it: the purpose, the freedom, the independence. This was something Jimmy understood. She didn't have to explain why it was important to her or why she couldn't give it up.
As she galloped out of the station yard, he watched her go. Even after the dust had settled and she was just a dot on the horizon, he watched. When she was out of sight, he turned to the house where he knew Kid was most likely watching as well. He'd made a promise to Lou that he would take this time to mend their friendship, or at least try. Jimmy and Kid hadn't been in a room alone together since the attack. It was time.
Kid saw Jimmy approaching the house like a man with a mission. It was a determined gait and stubborn countenance that he was all too familiar with. He let the curtain slip from his fingers, obscuring his view of the yard. The two men had barely spoken during the past several weeks. But Lou and him had countless conversations as she sat with him while he mended, or walked with him when he was finally able to take short walks outside. He gleaned a little of the time she'd been in Wicks's employ. She was short on details but he was able to read between the lines and it kept him up at night. He saw that she had come out of his last attack stronger and more confident than before and he knew that Jimmy had something to do with that, though it was mostly her.
She was amazing and he loved her. That love had made him want to shelter her and protect her when what she really needed was a partner to have her back, to go into the danger with her. He cursed his own inability to recognize that before. Now it was too late. She'd moved on. With one of his best friends.
"Kid?"
Speak of the devil. "How'd she seem riding out? I mean, how's she feeling?"
Jimmy stood in the doorway and took a look at his friend. "She's good. Ready, I think."
Kid nodded. "She send you in here to patch things up?"
"Yeah." He cracked a small smile. "Woulda done it on my own, eventually."
Kid rose from his chair and for a second Jimmy was ready to fight. The two men were about the same height and they held each other's gaze across the room, "I don't like it," he began. "And to tell you the truth, I can't imagine ever not loving her." Kid swallowed and pressed his lips together before carrying on. "But I also never seen her as content as she has been lately, even after everything." His eyes drifted aways from Jimmy's. "She loves you and I know you love her. If that ever changes…" He looked back at the other man and it was written all over his face. He may be stepping back but he had not counted himself out, not yet.
"It won't, least not on my part."
"I don't think things are gonna be the same between us."
"It will hurt her to no end if she thinks-"
"We've fallen out over this. Yeah." Kid closed the distance between them and held out his hand. "Friends?"
This was it then, Jimmy thought. There was a coldness to Kid's gesture. They would stay friends somehow, but they would never be confidants in the same way again. He couldn't be closer to Lou without there be more space between he and the Kid. It was physics, as Jimmy understood it.
"You want some help moving your stuff back to the bunkhouse?"
"Yeah. I guess it's time."
Teaspoon had been very clear, she was only meant to ride to the neighboring station to exchange pouches and right back home. Still, it felt good to be back in the saddle. The sun was shining brightly as Lou rode west toward Fairbury, a clear blue sky stretching out to the horizon. Crouching low in her saddle, she spurred Lightning faster. She felt the tension in her muscles, the wind blowing through her hair. Her body would feel this tomorrow and for that she was grateful. Grateful for the familiar ache after a hard ride. She flexed her scarred hand which had grown stiff from holding the reins, shook off the memory of Wicks and the fear. With each mile, she left it further in the past. She was the one that had risen from the ashes, and he was simply dust.
Lou made good time and handed off the mochilla smoothly. The package she was meant to pick up and bring with her to Rock Creek was delayed. She'd be sending a bit more time in the town of Fairbury then she'd planned on. After cooling Lightning down herself, she took a new mount and rode into town. The change of scenery was welcome after so many weeks cooped up at the station.
The town had a decent restaurant and Lou enjoyed a lunch of stewed vegetables and warm, buttery rolls. When she'd had her fill, she took a stroll around the town, peeking into the various shops. No one paid her any mind. They usually didn't when she was dressed like this, just some puny boy, slightly dirty from the trail. Her invisibility gave her a kind of armor. It was something she'd become accustomed to and she rarely gave it much thought.
Standing outside the mercantile, people passed all around her while she studied the items displayed in the window. She couldn't take her eyes off a deep purple dress arranged in the center. It was stunning and so unlike anything she'd ever worn. Goosebumps rose over her skin as she imagined what it would feel like to slip into something like that. She thought of what Jimmy might think if he saw her in the dress, what it might feel like to have him run his hands over her while she wore it. When was the last time she had even worn a dress? Willow Springs? Jimmy had bought her a very pretty blue dress in his attempt to cheer her after her and Kid broke it off. She cherished that dress. But it was simple and common and nothing like the one before her now. When would she even have an opportunity to wear something so fine?
The item she was carrying was just a bundle of catalogs for Thompson's store. She bristled a little at the idea that Teaspoon gave her such an inconsequential job on purpose. It was petulant of her, but she took her time on her way back to Rock Creek. She slowed her horse to a walk as they passed through a particularly pretty part of the trail. She was admiring the way the trees formed a canopy over the dirt road when she spotted someone walking along the trail. As she got closer she realized it was a boy about her size. He looked dejected.
Lou pulled her horse up to the young man. "Is everything alright?"
"Nothing a horse wouldn't fix."
"Where ya headed?"
"That way," he answered gruffly, pointing along the direction of the trail.
"Nothing ahead of you but Rock Creek."
"Well then I guess that's where I'm headed."
He was rude and, Lou could tell, hurting. She only hesitated for a few seconds before offering him a ride. She stretched out a hand to help him on behind her and was surprised when instead of accepting her offer, he pulled her down off her horse. He went to take her place in the saddle but she grabbed him from behind and shoved him away from the horse, causing him to take a tumble down the hill. She stumbled after him and before she knew it, they were wrestling in the dirt. She'd never hear the end of it if she let some boy steal her horse and she had to walk back to Rock Creek.
He'd just about gotten the upper-hand as he pinned her to the ground but the slight swell of her breasts became visible as her vest fell to the side and the boy scrambled off of her. "You're a girl!"
Jimmy and Kid sat on the bunkhouse porch staring off into the horizon. The sun was low in the sky. In another couple hours, it would sink below the horizon and it would be dark.
"Well, at least they're talking." Cody commented as he and Buck watched from the corral.
"Not so much talking as worrying together. Lou was due back a couple hours ago." The two men exchanged nervous glances. They were all anxious about Lou being out there alone. None of them would say that to her face though.
"There she is!" Cody jumped down from the fence and pointed towards town, rather than from the way she'd rode off in the morning. "Who's that with her?"
Lou stopped in front of the barn and let Jesse down before she hopped off next to him. He took a look around the station yard and saw four men looking right at him. "They ain't gonna beat me up for jumping you, are they?"
"Not unless I tell them to." She saw Kid and Jimmy approaching from the house while Buck and Cody hung back at the corral. "Go on in the barn and take care of my horse while I handle this. And don't steal 'em!"
"Yes, ma'am," he told her, ducking his head and leading the gelding towards the stalls.
"Eventful ride?" Jimmy asked.
"You could say that." Her head tilted toward the barn. "That's Jesse. He was staying with Dr. Woodson a few miles outside of town. He found him dead earlier today, killed. We just came from talking to Teaspoon. He told Jesse he could stay here."
"How'd you run into him?" Kid asked.
"He tried to steal my horse."
"And you gave him a ride?" Jimmy questioned her.
She shrugged. "Seemed like a kid in trouble is all. Come on, I'll introduce you."
Jesse was brushing down the pretty Appaloosa when Lou came into the barn, four men trailing behind her. She seemed about a foot shorter than all of them and he couldn't help but laugh.
"What's so funny?" she demanded.
"You all really thought she was a boy? She's half your size."
"Same size as you." Jimmy told him. "You a girl?"
"Alright that's enough." Lou stepped between Jesse and the other men. "Boys, this is Jesse. Jesse this is Jimmy, Kid, Buck, and Cody. Jesse's gonna be staying with us for a while. Maybe you can show him around?" She looked pleadingly at her fellow riders.
"Come on then," Cody offered. "We'll show you where you can put your stuff and get washed up before dinner." He threw an arm around Jesse and led him out of the barn. "So around here the things you gotta know are…"
Kid shook his head, feeling a genuine smile spread across his face. "We should go after them before Cody fills that boy's head with a bunch of nonsense." He and Buck followed after them while Lou and Jimmy lingered by the stalls.
"Orphans wanted, huh?"
"Didn't seem right to just leave him."
"Guess I'm lucky you got a soft spot for troubled young men."
"You feeling troubled?"
"Not no more," he assured her as he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her small frame. "I missed you."
"I wasn't even gone a day, Jimmy."
"Well, it felt like a month."
Lou sighed and let herself sink deeper into his embrace. "I missed you too. Saw you and Kid sitting together."
"Yeah, we're working things out."
"Not gonna take up his habit of fretting over me, I hope."
"As long as you don't make a habit of bringing home strange men."
She pretended to ponder his suggestion. "It does get lonely on the trail."
"You little…" He pulled her away from his chest just enough to look her in the eye. "Must I remind you that you are my woman?" He pulled her close and kissed her on the mouth before trailing delicate kisses down the side of her neck. "Any urges you feel out on the trail, you best bring home to me. I'm more than willing to oblige."
"Well then, tonight, after dinner?"
Jimmy pulled her collar aside in an attempt to get more of her neck and was met with layers of cotton and vest and long-johns. "Tonight after dinner," he agreed. "Wear less."
"Less what?"
"Clothes woman! What you think I meant?"
At dinner Jesse told them of how he'd heard shots and found Doc's body. He'd seen four men ride off but he'd never seen their faces. "I'll ride out there tomorrow. See what I can find, collect the doctor," Teaspoon gently squeezed Jesse's shoulder as he mentioned bringing the Doc's body to Rock Creek to be buried.
"I'll go with you."
Teaspoon eyed Jimmy up and down. "You sure you're ready?"
"I can ride, Teaspoon. You let Lou go yesterday."
"Lou didn't have three broken ribs."
At the mention of Jimmy's injury, Lou looked down at her plate, a doleful expression crossing her face. Ever aware of Lou's countenance, Jimmy placed his hand on her delicate shoulder and softly spoke, "that ain't your fault so don't even think it." His hand slipped from Lou's shoulder and down her back before he brought it back to the table. "I can ride, Teaspoon."
By the end of dinner, it was agreed. Teaspoon would ride out in the morning with Jimmy and Jesse.
"It was nice of Teaspoon to let Jesse stay in the tack room with 'em," Jimmy mentioned to Lou, slipping and arm around her shoulder. They took their time walking away from the station, in no particular direction. The sun set a few hours ago but a full moon provided plenty of light.
Lou agreed, it was a kind thing for the marshal to do. "Sometimes I wonder, how things mighta been different if someone like Teaspoon took me in back then, and not…you know."
He pulled her closer. "Jesse was lucky that you found him on that trail. I'm lucky," he added, halting his walking and turning her to face him. "But I'd give you up if it meant you didn't have to go through that pain."
She shook her head and stretched up to kiss him. "That's not what I want, Jimmy. I don't want to give you up." She kissed him again, deeper this time, her fingers curling into his long hair. She didn't stop kissing him until she felt him growing against her belly.
He pulled back. "I know what I said earlier, but we don't have to, not if you don't want."
"I want." Her voice was breathy. "Oh, Jimmy. I want."
They made their bed of discarded clothes and soft grass. Their naked skin glistened in the moonlight as Lou rode Jimmy like her life depended on it. She felt like it did. His hands grasped the flesh of her thighs encouragingly as she ground herself against him. This feeling was new to her, that there was absolutely nothing between them. They were as close as two people could be. She couldn't take her eyes from his, wanting to see inside him like she felt him inside herself now.
His hands crept to her waist and up her body. She moaned as his rough hands roamed over her. God, how could she have ever gone without this? Without him? No longer able to stand even the night air between them, she collapsed on top of him, her breasts smashing into his chest, her mouth demanding his. Strong, muscular arms encased her and he kissed her with the same need, the same urgency.
She gasped, breaking her mouth away from his, crying out his name. He held her tighter as she started to cum. He cried out with her as the contractions of her orgasm sent him careening to his own climax. They were a mess of hands digging into each other's flesh, heavy breathing, and beating hearts. He felt her body tense one last time before slumping into him. For a long time he held her, feeling the erratic pumping of their hearts, not knowing where he ended and she began.
He was on the verge of falling asleep when he felt Lou nuzzle his neck, whispering words of love against his ear. He responded with his own declarations. "Do you have any idea how completely I love you?" he asked, staring up at the multitude of stars painting the night sky. "You're it for me. Forever. You know that, right?"
Lou pulled herself up to look at Jimmy. She hadn't thought that much about the future, let alone forever. She asked him once where he saw them all in five years, ten. He'd had no answer then and neither had she. At one point, she imagined her and Kid would marry and settle down somewhere. That possible future had faded for her and she found she did not miss it.
Jimmy turned his attention to Lou's shining eyes. She was looking at him with a strange expression on her face, deep in thought it seemed. He ran his palm along her bare back, bringing her attention back to the present. "We got plenty of time to think about that, but only so much time tonight," he whispered.
Turning her beneath him, forcing her legs apart with his body, he slid slowly inside her, forcing a low moan from her as her head flung back. The pleasure of Jimmy's thickness moving inside her drove all other thoughts from her mind. His movements were deliberate: kissing along her neck, caressing her firm, perfect breasts, slowly dragging himself in and out of her wet warmth. Their previous coupling had been frantic and wild. This was controlled, purposeful.
"Touch yourself," he told her, propping himself up to make space between them. "Here." He took her hand and led it to the spot where they were joined, grazing her fingertips over his shaft as he placed them on her clit. Her eyes met his with a look of astonishment but she began to rub little circles over herself, Jimmy's hand laying lightly on top of hers as she did. He looked down between them to watch her pleasure herself. "Fuck." He breathed heavily. "That is beautiful." Biting his lip and shutting his eyes, he concentrated on maintaining his slow, composed pace and tried not to cum.
The steady rhythm with which Jimmy fucked her and the sensations of her fingers gliding over her wet clit again and again began to build a heat within her belly. Lou could feel a powerful climax being kept at bay. If either of them increased their pace in the slightest… But they didn't. Lou cursed and Jimmy smiled, knowing just how she felt. He wanted to make her cum harder than she ever had but he also wanted this feeling to last forever. Her expression showed she was struggling as well, wanting to prolong this exquisite pleasure.
Everything seemed to fade around them, the coolness of the air, the sound of insects, the smell of the fresh prairie grass. There was just the scent of their sex, the sound of their labored breathing, and the overwhelming ecstasy. It felt as if this was the entire world and that it would go on forever. And then Lou broke. It started with a whimper and quickly rose to loud and uncontrolled moaning. Jimmy covered her mouth with his in an attempt to muffle her screaming and felt his own powerful release. He pulsed within her and she seemed to vibrate all around him. They held each other tightly, moving together through their shared climax and beyond as the after shocks continued to rock them.
They finally collapsed beside one another, completely spent.
Jimmy was very aware that they were both buck naked, completely exposed to the outdoors, and covered in the evidence of their lovemaking. As heavy as his body felt right now, he could not let them fall asleep like this. Glancing at Lou, he saw that she was already passed out. Sighing loudly, he rose and began looking for his clothes. He found his long-johns and pulled them on but Lou was resting soundly on top of the rest of his clothing.
"Lou?" Nothing. "Alright." Groaning, he knelt down and brushed the hair from her face with the back of his hand. "Wake up sweetheart." She shifted onto her back and he sucked in a deep breath. Her nakedness was completely on display for him along with the sheen of wetness covering her inner thighs. "Fuck, Lou. You cannot do this to me again." He held her by the arms and shook her gently. "Time to get up."
Lou's eyes opened and focused on Jimmy. She gave him a lopsided grin and reached for him.
"Oh, no. We need to get back before some one sends a search party." He turned her away and pointed her at the pile of clothes. She bent down to pick up her things and Jimmy cursed again, taking in the sight of her shapely ass. ""Fuuuuck." Lou glanced over her shoulder and smiled again when she realized where his eyes had been.
"How could you possibly want more after, well…" Lou didn't even know how to define what it was that had transpired between them. It was beyond sex, she thought to herself as she pulled on her clothes. "God, I don't even know if I can walk back to the bunk house." Her whole body was exhausted.
When they were both dressed he scooped her into his arms and turned towards home. "What are you doing?"
"You said you couldn't walk." He expected her to argue and tell him how she was fully capable of walking on her own two legs. But she snuggled into his chest contentedly, throwing her arms around his neck. By the time they reached their destination, she was fast asleep once again.