"ACHOO!"

Konan blew her nose and lay back against her pillow with a groan. She had been bed-bound for two days. A seasonal cold had been sweeping the student body, and spending several hours freezing cold in the rain hadn't helped her immune system any. Konan had been trying to keep up with homework, but spent most of the days napping, her head feeling like it was stuffed with cotton.

Hidan, Kisame, and Pain had entertained themselves at her expense for much of the first day by getting her to repeat phrases, laughing at the result of her stuffed-up nose and irritated sinuses; she had gone through 'keep on keeping on' (keeb od keebing od), 'happy birthday' (habby birday), and even the opening to 'The Next Episode' (one, doo, dree and doo da four, Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr Dre are ad da door).

She had been more concerned about missing dance practices with Hidan, but he wasn't worried at all, saying that she'd have to come down with the black plague before they were in any danger of doing badly. She wasn't so sure, but he flat-out refused to come near her until she was no longer dripping snot like a faucet (his words, not hers).

Pain had come round, wearing a mask, to drop off her dance costume. The fourth year fashion design students had created all the dance costumes for their class as a project– Konan was relieved hers seemed to have been made by someone who knew what they were doing.

She tried it on– it was deep plum, long sleeved, tight-fitting to the hips where it dropped into a flowy mid-length asymmetrical skirt on the right side, and a sparkly purple bikini on the left side, with a sheer fabric cutout holding it together, creating a dramatic side view.

She came out of the bathroom to show Pain, sitting by the window. He whistled through his mask.

"Smokin'."

She gave an enormous sneeze, blowing her nose noisily into a tissue.

"Slightly kills the vibe, but you still look good," he said, giving her a thumbs up and retreating from the germs.

Sasori and Deidara were away for two days, and when they returned on the third day, they were both just as sick as Konan. She had squealed herself into a coughing fit to see Deidara wearing the silver ring when she saw him for the first time since they got back, much to his embarrassment.

Figuring they were all sick and it couldn't hurt, the three of them shoved Sasori's bed through the door, pushing it up against Konan's to make a mega-bed, and they all rolled up into dressing gowns and slippers, cuddling together and sharing a tissue box and Advil, watching Sex and the City.

Pain came in at lunch with soup and tea for Konan and did a comical double-take at the three of them under the blankets in the mega-bed, waving at him.

"Hey, where's our lunch?" Sasori asked, miffed, as Pain passed Konan the container of soup, placing the thermos of tea on her bedside table.

Pain snorted. "I didn't realize you were here. You know, you're probably making each other worse… and it smells like one big armpit in here. No offense."

"We're offended," Sasori said coolly.

"But now that you know we're here you going to get us any soup?" Deidara asked, blinking hopefully.

Pain scratched his jaw. "Let's see… probably not."

"Boo! boo! Stingy!" Sasori said, shaking a fist. "We were your friends first, you ingrate!"

"Cough on him!" said Deidara, and they both started hacking and coughing violently.

"Oh, gross, keep your nasty germs to yourself…" Pain groaned, backing up and retreating out of the room. "Now I'm definitely not bringing you any! "

"Oh no! Soup, please! Soup! Soup! Soup!" Sasori and Deidara chanted until Pain had shut the door on them, rolling his eyes.

"You wanna share mine? I don't think I can finish the whole thing by myself," Konan said.

"Aw! A true friend!"

"One for all and all for one!"

"Hooray!" Konan cheered, feeling possibly a little high on the Dayquil.

"Sooo," Sasori said, leaning over as Konan blew on the surface of the chicken noodle soup, "He still hasn't asked you out, huh?"

"Not in so many words," Konan sighed. "But he said he liked me! And he kissed me!"

Deidara sat up, looking impressed. "Wow! I thought he was never gonna grow a spine. Go Pain!"

"Oh, well… It was super cute, but it was just a peck. We were going to kiss properly, but there was an interruption." Konan took a spoonful of soup and burned her tongue.

"What interruption, hm?"

"Sasori called to say you were missing."

"Oh. My bad."

"Sooo," Sasori began again, propping himself up on an elbow and smirking at her, the effect partially ruined by his crusty red nose, "You must be pretty pent up, huh?"

"Ooh, yeah that would be frustrating. He blueballed you, huh?" Deidara said, grinning as he leaned forward for a tissue.

"Shut the fuck up," Konan laughed, rolling her eyes.

"Sasori, my man, I don't know how safe it is to share a bed with Konan," Deidara said in a stage whisper. "She might be so desperate she'll make a move on us in the night!"

Sasori clapped a hand to his chest, gasping. "Where did I leave my rape whistle…?"

"Hey!"

–

As soon as Konan was well enough, she returned to dance practices with Hidan in the mornings and evenings, falling back into the memorized steps and turns with more ease than she'd feared. As it turned out, what she should have been worried about catching up on was her end of term project for decorating the school for the winter holidays. She decided to be less ambitious with this one than she had with the Halloween one, and decided not to collaborate with another student, instead planning to create a ten-foot paper angel that would simply hang on the main entry wall. This still required her to fold several thousand pieces of origami, so in addition to her body being sore and exhausted every day from dancing, her hands were aching and she had to wear wrist braces in her other classes to try and help with the discomfort.

Finally, the day of the dance showcase came. It was a bigger event than Konan had realized, to her horror; every single gym class was doing a dance unit, so all of them were showing routines, plus the actual dance classes were naturally doing their end-of-term showcase at the end of the evening. This was, in Itachi's words, supposed to create a sense of camaraderie and foster a supportive community amongst the students, but really made everyone in the gym classes feel like a load of chumps, like amateur athletes doing forward rolls before olympians came out to do complete floor routines.

The only pieces of good news about it were that afternoon classes were cancelled for the day to encourage everyone to attend the performances, and that it was not required to watch all the performances. Konan was planning to watch the people in her class only, and then immediately leave to go get dim sum

All throughout her origami and drawing classes, despite the need to focus on her project in one, and her end-of-term portfolio in the other, Konan could barely keep her mind off the showcase, running through the routine in her head, hearing the song over and over in her head. Her thigh was jiggling so much in Drawing that Sasori actually stood up, walked over, and pressed it down to the ground in annoyance.

"You're shaking the tables."

"Sorry," Konan said vaguely, staring into the middle distance.

"It might be kinder to just tranquilize her until it's all over. Make Hidan do a solo, hm," Deidara suggested.

"What if… what if my leg doesn't go up… what if it does, but my outfit tears and then I'm just flashing everybody…. What if…" Konan murmured, staring intensely at nothing at all, visualizing each horrible scenario as it occurred to her.

She could feel Pain, Sasori, and Deidara all giving her concerned looks.

"Maybe a tranquilizer's not a bad idea, but I'd definitely start with a joint," Pain whispered to Sasori, who nodded as Deidara began humming 'Don't Worry Be Happy' in her ear.

"Aren't you guys worried?" Konan asked.

Pain shrugged and she scowled.

"Okay, not you ," she said, actually half-annoyed. "You never get nervous, you're like some kind of bizzaro, unfeeling, still-pond-surface alien…"

Pain made a face like he was getting called to the principal's office and Sasori and Deidara exchanged grins.

"Konan's feeble mind is snapping…" Sasori sing-songed.

Deidara patted her shoulder. "I get nervous, sure. It helps this is the second time I've done it. It also helps knowing that if you're mediocre, nobody remembers you. So aim for being in the middle of the pack, and you'll never be made fun of or recognized for your performance today."

Konan nodded. "Mediocrity," she muttered. "Okay. For the love of god, mediocrity."

The three boys raised their eyebrows at each other.

At lunch, Konan couldn't eat anything. She just sat next to Hidan, her head rocking on his shoulder as he ate his sandwich, running through every single beat, every single step, muttering to herself. She nearly screamed when the bell rang. As they gathered up their things and headed to the performance stage where the showcase was taking place, Pain put a warm hand on her back.

"You're going to be fine, Konan," he said reassuringly. "But you need to breathe , okay?"

She stared up at him, biting her lips, then copied him as he took a deep breath in, held it, then exhaled.

"Better?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

He patted her on the head as they were shepherded into separate change rooms. "Good luck! I'll be cheering for you!"

The performances were in descending order by age, and since gym was only mandatory up to fifth year, their class was going first, because of course it was.

Konan changed into her purple dance costume and fastened up her sparkly heels, her hands numb, mind blank. She caught Ino's eye as she was stuffing tissues in the armpits to stop her from sweating through it before they even started. Ino grinned and showed Konan the tissues she had stuffed under her boobs through the centre cut-out of her silver outfit, and they laughed at each other.

Konan relaxed a little as she sat next to Ino and Sakura on the long waiting bench to the side of the stage, hidden from the audience by long velvet curtains, both her head and Sakura's resting on Ino's shoulders as she read them their horoscopes off her phone in a peaceful voice. This quiet moment was shortly interrupted by the thunder of footsteps as the other gym classes and most of the student body filed into the seats facing the stage. Konan watched the lights change from white to blue to purple to yellow to green to red as the students in the tech box practised their changes. Her heart was beating so fast it felt like a hummingbird's.

She caught Hidan's eye across the stage where he was chatting with Pain. He lifted his chin at her, giving her a wink, looking really good in his tight-fitting black pants and white collared shirt, which he had left open to mid-chest. She waved, then met Pain's gaze. He was wearing a black shirt and jeans, very casual, and Konan realized that the only reason she had such an elaborate costume was because she had chosen to do samba instead of hip hop or something. She sighed: it was way too late for regrets.

All too soon, Guy was racing along their row, giving them a ten-minute start warning and handing out lists of the running order. Konan and Hidan were going close to the end. Tsunade appeared backstage, wearing a flattering pantsuit and headed out onto the stage, catching a microphone from Jiraiya as she went.

"Okay people," she said to the crowd of gathered students, her voice echoing, "Today, our combined second and third, and fourth and fifth year Gym classes will be performing the original dances they have been working on all month, and the show will close with the end-of-term showcases from our Dance classes. I'm really excited to see everyone's hard work paying off, and I'm sure that all of you are, too," she said, the last few words coming out a little threatening.

"But I don't want to hear any foul language, or booing, or anything like that. Only positive reviews are permitted in my school. I want you guys to cheer for everybody's performance, and the groups with the biggest cheers will be our winners. Any kind of screwing around will be met with detention for the rest of the year. Good luck to the dancers, and have fun, everyone!"

She headed down the stairs and sat down in the audience. Konan was biting so hard on her lip she could barely feel it. Ino gave her a worried look and took her hand gently as the lights dimmed and the first pair – Karin and Suigetsu – took their positions on stage.

As blue lights flashed, 'Right Thurr' by Chingy started playing and they began a hip hop routine. Suigetsu stepped on the string from Karin's cargo pants part way through and they got into a silent argument, but managed to regroup and finish their routine.

Sasori and Sakura were up next. Konan and the others cheered and clapped as they hit their marks, ready for the music, Sasori giving Konan a wink over Sakura's head. They were both in black baseball caps and all-black outfits; Sasori in a black tee, Sakura in a cropped tank top. They did a really clean and funny hip hop routine to 'Pick It Up' by Famous Dex & A$AP Rocky, making silly faces and switching positions to keep the performance dynamic.

"You were great!" Konan and Ino said as the routine ended and the pair came jogging backstage.

The next couple did a pretty rough routine just following the instructions to 'Cha Cha Slide.' The group after that were over-ambitious, attempting a super difficult heels routine to a Britney Spears mix with a lot of floor work, but one of them didn't have enough strength to get up from a deep squat, and fell over.

Pain and Hinata were up next, and Konan realized with a jolt that she'd never actually asked Pain what they were doing. She waved at him as they headed onstage, and he grinned at her. Hinata was looking beautiful in a glittery lavender tank top and figure-hugging black flare pants. Her long indigo hair swayed behind her, free of her usual hoodie.

The lights came on and lit the stage rose-pink. Pain held Hinata's hand, and as 'Rechazame' by Prince Royce began, he twirled her into him and held her close as they began a Bachatà. It was a very intimate choreo, Pain holding Hinata super close as they swayed with the footwork, knees bent gently, his right leg between hers as their hips circled and met. He spun her out then back in smoothly, her hair whipping behind her. It was a beautiful routine, relatively simple but done really well.

Konan imagined learning it and doing it with Pain herself, and was feeling very jealous of Hinata and her innocent lavender eyes, cute pink cheeks, and massive rack until she remembered Pain had been annoyed with how quietly she spoke, and that everyone in the school knew she had a massive crush on Naruto, anyway.

They got a big cheer as they finished their routine and exited the stage. Sakura gave Hinata a hug as they returned and Konan gave Pain a double thumbs-up and fanned herself jokingly across the stage as he waved, grinning.

Ino and Choji went next, setting up chairs on stage with the lights out and beginning offstage, coming out with the music to 'Check On It' by Beyonce, hips twisting as they walked to centre. Ino looked gorgeous in her silver one-piece costume with the stomach cut-out and a flouncy skirt with attached underwear – which they saw a lot of in the routine, as it involved a lot of hip rolls, twerking, and chairwork. Konan grinned, feeling she knew which of them had come up with the choreo. Choji kept up surprisingly well, tossing his hair and bumping his hips, the lights bouncing off his spangled shirt, but was about a beat behind for most of the song nonetheless.

All too soon, it was Konan and Hidan's turn. Konan hastily removed her armpit tissues, tossing them in the bin as she met Hidan's nod with a harassed smile as she went to take her mark upstage and her friends whispered 'good luck'. She took a slow, deep breath as she waited in the dark, one hand on the wall, Hidan offstage ready for his entrance.

Her mind was blank. She focused on her breath, pretended this was a performance at her old dance studio. It's going to be fine.

The lights went up and the first beats of 'Baila Baila' by Angela Via played. Konan's body moved automatically, swaying her hips and doing a body roll, tossing her hair as Hidan came walking on stage, checking her out. She turned, he held her, and with the sforzando bounce of horns, she kicked her leg up and he caught it by his face, grinning. With the second sforzando horn note she bent back, supported by his arm, her leg still over him, then he brought her up for a quick kiss and they walked hand in hand downstage until the beat came back in and immediately went into samba footwork, twirling and spinning, hands coming together then apart, her skirt flying.

DJ turn it up, pump it loud, let's get wild, get your freak on the floor, that's what we came here for…

Her mind was mostly blank, but she was relieved to still be able to smile at Hidan, grinning as he hit his solo moment, circling his hips to a huge scream from the audience. They rejoined, twisting, hips bumping, coming together and apart, free arms in the air. Konan's calves were burning already, but she ignored them, focusing on the music and the count in her head. Hidan squatted and held her waist as she worked her hips, circling him as he spun on his toes, the centre of her orbit before restarting on the foot work, apart and together, free hands in the air.

Papi I'm ready, come let's go, my body's hot and I need more, just work it high and work it low, you can pretend that it's all yours…

Konan pushed Hidan down into a deep bend, where he supported himself with one hand, the other on her waist. He pulled himself back up slowly, coming up biting his lip as she grinned at him, before they thrust their hips into each other twice on the beat. Konan felt her face heat up at the loud scream from the crowd as they stepped out and back into the footwork again, twirling away.

I know you wanna feel me and you wind me like a toy, I like the way you're moving and you shake it back and forth…

Hidan span her away then followed her, bending and shimmying as she put a hand to her head, the other out, doing a whole body shake and he met her and tilted back, shaking his shoulders as she tipped her head back.

They stepped apart and together, shimmying again, then fell back into footwork, crossing the stage together for Konan's solo part.

Feel the heat, bump and grind, pack it up, add some whine, shake it up, shake it down…

Hidan was on one knee, holding Konan's hand, shifting across the stage following her, being silly and fanning himself, mouthing oh damn to make her laugh as she did her footwork backwards, hips working, holding her hair.

Hidan span her twice, and then they were back to footwork, apart and then back together, crossing the stage again. He lifted her, holding her tight, one of her legs bent, the other straight as he spun her around. Feet back on the floor, they turned on the last steps, and on the final beats of the song, Hidan's arm wrapped around her, her arm around his neck as he dipped and she ended in a half-split.

They panted, staring at each other as the crowd cheered. Then Hidan made a stupid face at her and she laughed. The lights went down and he hoisted her to her feet. Her legs were jelly, and his clearly weren't any better as they staggered together back upstage.

"You did amazing!" she panted, leaning her head on his shoulder, waving at Pain who was clapping loudly, grinning at them.

"Thanks, you too! We completely hosed these fucking nerds," he said with a laugh, slapping her on the back as they broke apart.

Konan staggered towards the changing room. There were only a couple groups left, the first of which was already taking up position on stage. As she pushed the door open, she heard the beginning of 'S Club Party' and smiled: a song that came with a routine would have been a much easier route to take.

Lesson for next time: just do the Soulja Boy dance or something…

By the time she had changed into sweatpants and a hoodie and rejoined her friends backstage, it was Naruto and Sasuke's turn, as they were closing the show for their class.

Konan grinned, watching Sakura and Ino whispering eagerly to each other as Naruto and Sasuke took their places, wearing street clothes. Konan headed over to Sasori, Hidan, and Pain and flopped down on the bench next to them to watch. Sasori ruffled her hair.

"You were really good!" he whispered.

"Thanks, you too!"

She looked back at the stage as Naruto and Sasuke were lit up in blue lighting, standing together.

"I know you hookers don't think this is over with," Naruto said loudly, pointing out at the audience.

"Hah! Let's kick it old-school," Sasuke said, and they high-fived as 'It's Tricky' by RUN DMC faded in.

"Oh my god!" Konan whispered, excited, covering her mouth as she stared at the others. "They're doing the White Chicks dance!"

Right on cue, Sasuke and Naruto hit the moves. The whole crowd was screaming as they did the flips, dips, puppet moves, breakdancing, and even the headspins. Konan was cheering and clapping with everybody else, laughing at their ending swagger moves, like they'd just scored a touchdown.

The curtain went down so the classes could swap out. Konan, Hidan, and Pain went to find good seats in the audience to watch Deidara, Kisame, Itachi, and Kakuzu, who were all in the second set of fifth and fourth year gym classes. Konan felt much happier, actually excited to see the other routines, now that she was all done for the day. After twenty minutes, Asuma, the other gym teacher, came out to tell everyone to be quiet, as new dancers were starting.

Tenten and Rock Lee, two fourth-years, began the next set with a perfect reproduction of the original choreography to 'If' by Janet Jackson, wearing matching black crop tops and cargo pants. After that, Temari and Shikamaru came out, dressed up as Mia Wallace and Vincent Vega and doing the twist dance from Pulp Fiction. Kisame and Anko Mitarashi, a girl with a spiky ponytail and long bangs, came out in full 90's looks, doing a New Jack Swing choreo to 'Finesse' by Bruno Mars. Kakuzu and a girl with dusky red hair and a white headband came out to a huge cheer — possibly helped by the fact that Kakuzu was completely shirtless, showing off his muscles and scars. They did a crazy krumping routine to a song with a vibrating bass, popping and jerking and rolling. Two students Konan didn't know did ' Single Ladies' by Beyonce.

Next up was Itachi, who was partnered with Mei. Konan couldn't help looking her up and down, biting her lip unconsciously — Mei looked hot. She was wearing a high-cut black leotard over a sports bra with cut-off jean shorts, her long hair in a ponytail. Pain nudged her, laughing at her when she realized, blushing, that he'd noticed she was checking her out. She shoved him back playfully, rolling her eyes and grinning as 'Get Busy' by Sean Paul came on. Itachi and Mei's routine was really well choreographed, but it was also kind of funny, just because of his personality, to watch Itachi, hands on his hips, throwing it back and crawling on the ground, popping his booty. They got a huge cheer at the end, Konan and the others joining in enthusiastically.

Deidara and his partner, a girl with short black hair, dark eyes, and black winged eyeliner, were closing out the group. Konan and her friends screamed as they came onto the stage. Deidara was shirtless, just in black leather pants and a belt, showing off the sewn-mouth rune tattoo on the right side of his chest. Konan wolf-whistled and Sasori yelled "You'll do great, sweetie!" at the top of his lungs. Konan snorted as Deidara's eyes narrowed in their direction and he flipped them off with a grin before getting into position.

Sasori shimmied his way out of their row, getting his phone out to film the dance, in full 'Mean Girls' mom mode, as 'Insane' by DPR IAN began. Deidara's routine was really sexy. Konan covered her mouth, blushing as he and his partner thrust and rolled and gyrated over the stage, and when they both pulled off their belts, she screamed with the rest of the crowd as they wrapped them around their necks, then wrists, rolling their bodies as the music devolved into hot breaths flooding the theatre. When they finished, the theatre erupted into screams and clapping.

After the others had changed and came back out, Tsunade announced that the top three performances from the fourth and fifth years, measured by volume of cheers, were Hidan and Konan (Konan buried her face in her hands as Hidan yelled 'Fuck yeah!" at the top of his lungs, throwing his fists in the air), Deidara and Kurotsuchi, and the winners were Sasuke and Naruto. Everyone cheered and clapped, and as the second and third years got ready, Konan and her friends headed out of the theatre to grab their coats, planning to take the bus into town and get dim sum.

After dinner, Konan headed straight back to her room to have a shower, and headed into Sasori's room. They'd planned to have a self-care evening together after the dance showcase, so when Deidara and Pain found them later, they were lying on Sasori's bed, the room softly lit by string lights, watching 10 Things I Hate About You , wearing robes and face masks, drinking mimosas with mini folding umbrellas. Pain pulled up a chair to join in, Konan passing him a face mask and cucumber slices, but Deidara just laughed at them and left to hang out with the others.

"Cheers to the dance showcase being over!" Konan cheered, clinking glasses with the others.

"Amen," Sasori said, rolling his eyes.

"Cheers to never, ever, having to do it again," Pain said, lifting a cucumber slice off his right eye so he could see them.

"Hear hear!"

"Cheers to me and my recording of Deidara's sexy belt dance, which I can watch whenever I want, and can use to blackmail him forever!" Sasori said, waving his phone in the air.

"Cheers!" Pain and Konan said, laughing.