Loveless IF

Chapter 1: Elsa Granhiert

Subaru stood there, once again, in this inextricable situation. The pain of the world, of the fate that was playing with him, was already hitting him before he even realized what was about to happen.

He had come back, once again, to life. But this time, he knew his hours were numbered. Every second, every move could be the last chance to escape. Elsa approached, her icy gaze fixed on her prey, her blades ready to cut.

Subaru knew the attack would come quickly, that it wouldn't give him time to think. He didn't have much strength left, but he had no choice. He had to dodge. He had to avoid death once again.

Each repetition of these moments was a nightmare, a torture both physical and mental, but he did not have the luxury of time to think. So he launched into a last desperate effort, his tired muscles doing their best to obey. But it was too late. Elsa, with horrifying precision, attacked. The sharp blade grazed his torso, but this time, Subaru had just had enough reaction to dodge part of it.

He didn't dodge everything. The searing pain exploded in his chest, sharper than anything he'd felt before, but the cut wasn't as clean. It hadn't reached his vital organs. Not this time. He fell to his knees, gasping for air, his vision flickering.

Blood poured from the open wound, but he was still alive, for a few more moments, a few precious seconds. He knew the end was near, that death's grip would catch up with him, but somewhere in his head, a small hope persisted. He had bought a little more time.

Not much, but enough to maybe… do something. The pain was intensifying, but his mind was elsewhere, lost in a whirlwind of thoughts and memories. He was already thinking about what was next. What was going to happen next. And about Emilia, who was going to suffer once again because of him, without even understanding why.

But, before everything could collapse, a hand gently slipped into his. Subaru slowly turned his head, his vision blurry, and saw Emilia.

There she was, right in front of him, her blurry silhouette outlined in the growing darkness that invaded his eyes. Her face was marked by a deep sadness, a sadness he had never seen in her. Her eyes were shining, filled with tears that she barely held back. And in those eyes, Subaru saw something far more painful than the wound he carried. Guilt. Shame.

"I'm sorry," Emilia whispered, her voice cracking, like a lost breath. "I'm so sorry…"

Subaru felt the pressure of her hand growing stronger, as if she was trying to hold him back, to prevent the end. But she didn't understand. She didn't know. She thought he was dying because of her, that she had brought him into this dangerous situation. She thought it was all her fault.

"Emilia…" he whispered weakly, his voice lost in the pain that tore through his chest. He wanted to tell her that she wasn't responsible, that she hadn't done anything wrong, that everything he was going through was just the price he was paying for being by her side, for helping her through this chaotic world.

But his words didn't make it out. His throat was too tight, and every breath was a struggle.

Emilia squeezed his hand tighter, tears now streaming down her cheeks. Subaru knew she thought he was dying because she had brought him into this danger. She thought she had led him to his doom, that she had pushed him into an abyss from which he could not return.

He tried to smile, a weak smile, almost imperceptible, but he didn't have the strength. He just closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the warmth of her hand that was desperately trying to hold him back, as if it wanted to push back the inevitable.

In his mind, Subaru thought that maybe this was the time he had to leave. He couldn't keep watching her suffer because of him. But he couldn't help but feel a deep pain in his heart, a mixture of sadness and gratitude. You're the one who showed me the beauty of this world, even in the midst of suffering…

"I… I didn't want you to die," Emilia breathed, her voice shaking. "I didn't want…"

Subaru felt his heart break at the thought of her carrying this guilt, even if it wasn't her fault. He wanted to take her in his arms, tell her that she had nothing to reproach herself for. But he couldn't move anymore. The end was there, at his fingertips, at the end of his life.

His eyes closed gently, taking with them all his regrets, all his thoughts. He would have liked Emilia to know, to understand that he did not blame her. But the silence of death enveloped him more and more. He was tired. Exhausted. And the pain was becoming distant, blurred. Emilia, at his side, seemed to lose herself in her own guilt, her tears testifying to a love that she did not yet know how to measure.

In the last moment before darkness, Subaru felt like time was slowing down. Everything was fading away. The sounds around him were slowly fading away. But Emilia stood there, her eyes fixed on him, her tears rolling silently down her cheeks. She didn't understand that he was already gone, that he had never felt any resentment towards her. All he felt was... a strange peace. The peace of knowing that he wasn't alone in this last moment.

And then, in a final gasp, Subaru was extinguished, carried away by the wave of the end.

Emilia, her eyes filled with tears, continued to hold his hand, refusing to let him go. She didn't know that Subaru had already left. But in her heart, she knew it was her fault. And that, was the greatest pain of all.

Subaru felt like he was running endlessly.

His heartbeat pounded like a drum in his chest, each second that passed was another second of pain. The blood continued to flow, but he didn't have time to stop. Each loop gave him the illusion of a little more control, but it was an illusion. One of those cruelly fleeting illusions. He knew that, no matter how hard he tried, he could never escape this fate.

The window.

There was only one thing to do. Run. He had to get to the nearest window, the one through which he could maybe, just maybe, escape. But he knew, the window was just a mirage. And he was tired of running towards it.

In his head, he counted the seconds. One, two, three. His legs stiffened with each step, but he persisted. He ran like a trapped animal, his entire mind focused on one goal: the window.

Loop after loop, he found himself there, facing that window. But each time, Elsa was faster. Each time, he was only a moment away from being able to reach her. The exit remained out of reach. He knew what was coming.

Ten loops.

One, two, three… he was still too slow. The pain was getting worse, but he had no right to stop. Every time he reached the window, Elsa was there, a blade ready to take his life. He tried to jump over the table, to squeeze under a piece of furniture, but the space was too small, too limited. He had no chance. Not this time. Not again.

Loop after loop, the frustration of his failure paralyzed him. He felt like he was repeating himself endlessly, like a puppet performing mechanical movements, in a macabre dance that he could not interrupt. With each attempt, he could almost hear the bell of fate. The seconds ticked by, each loop a promise of failure and suffering stronger than the last.

Eleventh loop.

He ran faster. Every breath was an extra effort, every muscle in his body screaming in pain. He lunged, his heart pounding, blood streaming from his wound, but he still didn't reach the window in time. Elsa was already there, her blades ready to strike. Each time, he was sliced, faster and faster, more painfully.

He fell to his knees, again and again. There was no way out. He knew that. But he kept going. Because he had nothing else to do.

"Why… why does it never stop?"

The words were lost in the fog of his mind. He no longer had the strength to get up, but each closure forced him to start again. Again. And again. Always at the same time, in the same room. Always with the same outcome.

And deep down, he knew it wasn't the window that would save him, or even escape. It was the acceptance that no matter how hard he tried, he was trapped in an endless cycle. One loop, and another, and another. Always the same. Always there, waiting for him to fail, again and again.

Subaru froze, for a split second, just before the thread of reality snapped again. A loop. He had experienced these events countless times, and yet, each time, the panic and urgency were very real. But this time, he decided not to rush into action like a hunted animal. This time, he was going to think. Observe. Calculate. Because he had no other choice.

He counted.

He would focus on every detail, every fraction of a second. Elsa was fast, far too fast. So before he rushed to the window or attempted another desperate escape, he gave himself a break. Three seconds. Three seconds was all he had before Elsa's blade reached him. He knew now exactly how much time he had to move before he fell victim to another fatal blow.

He wasn't entirely sure how he was going to use them. But those three seconds, he had to do something with them. He had to turn them into his trump card. His brain raced, tracking down information, moments where he'd failed, details he'd let slip by.

Three seconds.

It was all he had. And it was far too short to survive Elsa. But it was worth a shot, right?

Elsa's attack came like a flash.

Subaru focused on the movement of the blade, his muscles tense, every fiber in his body ready to move at the right moment. He waited, waited… Three seconds.

After exactly three seconds, he ducked sharply, crouching just under the blade's path. He hoped to trip her. He had seen something he hadn't noticed before: Elsa, as fast and deadly as she was, was not infallible. If only he could catch her off guard.

Elsa, unpredictable as always, didn't expect this gesture. Her foot caught in the air, in the void, stumbling on the ground. A fraction of a second. But a fraction of a second that was enough. She fell to the ground, and Subaru thought he finally had the opportunity to escape.

But Elsa got up immediately.

And before he could even comprehend what had just happened, he felt the cold metal of her blade cut through his neck. His head slowly detached from his body. The world around him dissipated, and death took him in its wake.

Awakening.

The scene started again. A new loop.

Subaru straightened up. This time, he had understood something more. The strategy had failed, but he knew now that he had to act faster, more subtly. The window, the door, he had no choice but to avoid this blade with more precision.

He waited again, counting the seconds again. One, two, three.

Elsa attacked.

Subaru lunged, but this time to the right. He thought his move would get him out of the blade's path. A more precise, more calculated dodge. But Elsa's speed surpassed his own. She anticipated his move. The blade sliced through his skin before he could completely escape.

Failure. Subaru collapsed once again, defeated.

Awakening.

Another loop. Once again, Subaru braced himself, hoping that this time would be the right one. He had an idea. After all, the window, the sides, all that hadn't worked. This time, he was going to back up. Position himself behind Elsa, hoping that his movement could fool her. It wasn't perfect. But he had no other option.

He waited, the seconds stretching out, one, two, three.

He moved backwards. Everything was happening too slowly. He wasn't fast enough. Elsa, once again, anticipated his move. She whipped around, her blade slicing through the air before he could escape her grasp.

Slow. Too slow. He didn't have enough speed to surprise Elsa. He knew he couldn't keep going like this.

Subaru had jumped back, faster, more precise. He hadn't had time to think about anything other than escaping, reaching that door, that exit. Every loop, every failure was a bell ringing in his head, forcing him to start over, to try a new approach.

This time, he had dodged Elsa more fluidly. He knew he didn't have much time. His body, still bruised from the injuries of the previous attempts, screamed in pain with every movement, but he had no choice. He had to do this, he had to get out of this room. The door... freedom.

"Emilia, help me!" Subaru cried, his voice cracking with effort and pain. His legs were shaking, but he forced himself forward. His eyes searched desperately for Emilia's figure. He could see her, blurry through the haze of his failing vision, but his hope grew. He wasn't far away anymore. Just a little more, and he would be out of Elsa's reach.

He approached the door, his breath coming in short gasps, his heart pounding. The doorknobs were right there. He could almost touch them. He was going to make it. He was finally going to make it.

But no.

His feet slipped on the damp ground, a cry of surprise and terror escaping his lips as he stumbled. A split second, but a split second enough. Before he could even right himself, he felt the biting cold of a blade slice through the air.

He turned just in time to see Elsa, her sadistic smile frozen on her face, her weapon ready to strike. Subaru could no longer defend himself. His body was too weak, too broken. He collapsed to the ground one last time, pain invading every part of his being. But it wasn't the pain that won out. No, it was the vision of Emilia, there, just outside the door, her eyes wide with terror.

"Emilia… I'm sorry," he whispered, but the words were already too weak, too late. His breath fizzled out, and the life drained from his body, taken away by Elsa's blade. Darkness enveloped him, and for the first time, he let himself go into oblivion, without thinking about the next loop.

Emilia, her eyes wide with panic, rushed into the room, her mind completely disoriented by the scene that had just unfolded before her eyes. Subaru… he had fallen. Again. He was dead. Again. And it was his fault. It was always his fault.

"No… NO!" Emilia cried out, her voice cracking with pain and guilt. Her gaze immediately turned to Elsa, who stood there, her blade covered in Subaru's blood. She didn't have time to accept what had just happened. Not now. She had to act. She had to do something.

Her hands were shaking, but a flame of determination burned in her eyes. She clenched her fists, focusing on her power. She knew what she had to do. She had hesitated for too long, watched Subaru suffer for too long without intervening. But now, it was too late to hold back.

A powerful scream escaped her lips as she summoned the crystals. Ten shimmering crystals emerged from the ground, floating around her in a perfect formation, glowing with a cold, determined glow. She threw them without hesitation, her eyes fixed on Elsa with an intensity she had never shown before.

Elsa, surprised by the speed of the attack, instinctively dodged, but two crystals hit her head on. She growled, stepped back slightly, her smile fading for a moment. But Emilia had no intention of giving her time to react. She threw another set of crystals, faster, harder, determined to strike, to avenge Subaru.

But Subaru couldn't see anymore. His eyes were slowly closing in the dark, and all he could hear was a muffled, almost stifled sound, followed by Emilia's heavy breathing. It was too much for him. His mind drifted into the darkness of oblivion, unable to comprehend what was happening. Everything was dissolving into nothingness, the scene was dissolving… everything was going out.

The loop begins again.

Subaru stood up straight, his heart pounding. He knew what was coming next. Every move, every gesture, he knew them by heart now. There was no time to waste. He had to dodge, he had to get out alive, no matter what it took.

Elsa was already there, closing in with terrifying speed, her icy gaze fixed on him. Subaru concentrated, counting the seconds in his head. Then, he threw himself to the side, dodging the blade that grazed his clothes, but he didn't completely avoid the impact. A brutal shock to his side, and he crashed violently against a chair.

Crack!

The sound of the broken chair echoed through the room, causing a sudden uproar. Subaru, groaning in pain, hastily stood up, but no sooner had he hit the ground than Emilia's figure appeared next to him. She jumped up, quick as lightning, and placed herself between him and Elsa, raising her arms to prevent him from attacking.

"No! You won't touch her!" Emilia screamed, her voice full of determination.

Subaru, out of breath, watched the scene in silence. He knew the situation was still hopeless, but Emilia was there, and that gave him a glimmer of hope. He had survived, he was still alive, thanks to her.

"Thank you…thank you for saving me," he said, his voice weak but sincere.

Emilia turned to him, her eyes filled with a softness that contrasted with the tension in the room. "Don't say that. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary."

Subaru gave her a tired but sincere smile. He straightened up slightly, his body still in pain, and said in a more serious tone: "Let's move on, she's already killed two people, we shouldn't take this murderer lightly."

Emilia, shocked, looked at him without understanding. But Elsa, she raised an eyebrow, intrigued. She had not anticipated this. She knew that the young man was special or had a strange luck, but she had never believed that he would have noticed that. "Two people? But... how? And... how could he have anticipated all that?" Elsa thought. Felt? She thought she was too far away to be seen by this boy.

She looked at Subaru with newfound interest, but she didn't comment, just observed him calculatingly. Then, she turned to Emilia with a cruel smile.

"A half-elf and a very intriguing boy? Interesting… Really interesting…" Elsa spoke each word slowly, as if weighing each syllable.

Emilia stood firmly in front of Subaru, her gaze determined, but her body trembling slightly. "I'm Emilia. Just Emilia," she said, while keeping a protective posture in front of Subaru.

Elsa didn't seem convinced. She tilted her head, an amused smile tugging at her lips. "Just Emilia, hm?" she said, her voice honeyed. Then, she looked at Subaru, her pupils widening with interest. "But him... that boy... He seems really fascinating to me. What makes him so special?"

Subaru sighed tiredly, and this time his voice didn't carry the same confidence it usually did. He couldn't keep playing the pose. He was exhausted. "Natsuki Subaru," he said, barely a whisper. His eyes closed for a moment, focusing on the labored breathing he was taking.

Elsa, interested but not wanting to waste time, thought for a moment. She knew Subaru was stronger than they seemed. How could they have anticipated his moves? She forced herself to smile, hiding her growing irritation. She wanted to know everything, but she knew he wouldn't answer her. So, she decided it was time to take action.

"So, end of discussion. You're going to die now," she said, almost... casually.

The battle resumed instantly. Elsa, faster than ever, attacked with murderous fury. Her blades sliced through the air, with such agility that at any moment, Subaru felt like she was going to slice him in two. But Emilia didn't let him down. She pushed Elsa back with all her strength, her crystals sparkling in the air like starbursts, striking Elsa every time she got too close.

But Subaru could see that Emilia was starting to weaken. Every movement tired her more and more, and with every attack from Elsa, she was forced to defend herself, to fight so that Subaru wouldn't die. Her arms were shaking with fatigue. She wouldn't last long at this pace.

Subaru noticed it immediately. Panic gripped him. "Emilia! Be careful!"

"I… I can't hold on much longer!" Emilia answered, out of breath. "I… I need to summon Puck, but he's asleep… I need a few minutes before I can summon him…"

Subaru shivered at the words. Puck. The key to their survival. But how long before Elsa destroyed them both? How long before she killed them again?

He began to sweat profusely. He knew what was likely to happen. And he also knew that their only chance of survival was… action.

Emilia was fighting, but the effort was visible. Her ice crystals were shattering under Elsa's rapid attacks, and her body was showing signs of impending fatigue. Subaru knew that if it continued like this, they weren't going to last long. Elsa was going to kill them again.

"Emilia…" Subaru said in a voice that trembled with urgency. "You have to find a solution, fast!"

She lowered her head, her eyes reflecting an inner struggle, a difficult decision. "I have… another spell. A powerful spell, but…" Her voice cracked for a moment. "It will kill everyone in this room, except me."

A shiver ran down Subaru's spine, but he understood immediately. He knew they had no other choice. Elsa was too strong. He stared at Emilia, his gaze full of determination. He had no time to waste. "Do it."

Emilia looked up at him in shock. "What?!" she cried, her hands shaking. "You really want me to kill everyone? Kill you too?!"

"Emilia," Subaru replied, his voice trembling but full of conviction, "if you don't, we're going to die here. Both of us. If you want us to survive… there's no other way."

She hesitated, devastated by the thought of having to use a spell that would not only destroy everything around her but also end Subaru's life. But reality set in: they couldn't hold out against Elsa forever.

"I… I don't want to lose you," Emilia whispered, her eyes shining with infinite sadness.

Subaru stepped closer to her, his shaking hand reaching for hers. "I promise, Emilia, everything will be okay. Everything you've done for me… it wasn't in vain. If you have to use that spell to save us, then do it. I'm fine. I'm glad to be here, with you."

Emilia felt a huge weight fall on her shoulders. But deep down, she knew there was no time to waste. She couldn't let Subaru die here, and she couldn't risk their entire world crumbling in their hands. Her crystals glowed around her again, brighter, more powerful. The cold intensified, enveloping the room in an icy mist. "Okay," she finally said, her voice resolute, but filled with pain. "I'll do it."

She raised her hands, and the air around them twisted under the pressure of her magic. Subaru felt the temperature drop instantly, ice climbing up the walls, invading the room at a frightening speed. He knew what was coming next would leave nothing behind.

"So I'm going to… use it… Subaru…" she whispered.

Subaru smiled, despite the biting cold that invaded his bones. He closed his eyes for a moment, and a last breath escaped his lips. "Thank you… for everything. I will never forget what you did."

The crystals around Emilia shattered in an explosion of pure light. The entire room froze in a layer of extremely violent ice, freezing the air itself. A muffled scream echoed as Elsa was engulfed in the wave of unforgiving cold, her body instantly freezing in ice, trapped in the frozen embrace. Subaru, like Emilia, was struck by the frost, his body frozen, but he was smiling, a peaceful expression on his face.

She was alive, he had kept his promise in that loop.

The ground icy beneath him, the air heavy and frigid, Subaru opened his eyes. Again. Another loop. Another chance.

The pain in his muscles, the invisible fractures under his skin, he knew them by heart from suffering them so much. But this time… this time, he knew what he had to do. Again.

The scene played out as it always did: Elsa advancing toward him, her blade glinting with deadly menace. Every move of hers, every gesture, he knew them. He had learned. Learned to anticipate them, to understand them.

At first, he had believed that he could get by on luck, that a mistake on his part or hers would provide an opening. But he had come to understand that it wasn't luck. It was nothing more than pure learning. And Subaru had no time to waste.

One, two, three. He counted the seconds in his head, as mechanically as his heart beat in his chest.

Elsa attacked. As fast, as deadly as before. This time, Subaru moved lightly to the right. He knew it wouldn't be enough. He had to go further. He had to go faster.

He jerked back, dodging the blade that grazed his side, a cold shiver running down his spine. Don't panic. Not this time. He would survive. This time, he would.

The loops passed, endlessly, each one more painful than the last. He was tired. Exhausted. But he would not stop. Every movement, every effort to dodge, every misstep became a part of him. A gesture, a dance, a sequence. Another loop. Another repetition.

One, two, three, four, five. Faster and faster. Smoother and smoother.

He knew where Elsa would strike. Her attacks had become trajectories he could anticipate. One more movement, one step forward or back, and he was already safe, out of range. With each loop, he became more precise, faster. One movement after another, his body registered everything, every angle, every speed.

Elsa, as fierce as a predator, attacked relentlessly. But Subaru was no longer the same. He occupied her, he held her back, he distracted her, all the while knowing that every second gained was a victory for Emilia. She just had to hold on a little longer. Hold on until Emilia had time to call on Puck.

Again. Another loop.

Subaru dodged with newfound agility. His vision was clearer, his reflexes sharper. The pain, now an old companion, was nothing more than a background noise. He had no time to suffer.

Elsa's attacks were getting faster, more precise, but Subaru anticipated them with an almost frightening ease. He dropped to the side, threw himself forward, jumped back, dodging at the last second the blows that stuck in the ground where he had been a few moments before. Each dodge was a victory. Each breath was a step closer to survival.

But the loops weren't infinite. He knew that. Every moment counted. Emilia needed him, and he had to help her summon Puck. No matter how many times he died, he had to win just one more moment.

Then, amidst the chaos of battle, a voice he hadn't heard in a while rang out in the room:

"This tragedy has gone on long enough, it is time to put an end to it."

Subaru stopped dead in his tracks, a strange feeling washing over him. The sentence echoed in his mind, a silent promise that imposed itself with force. He knew. He had done what was necessary. This time, he would succeed.

He raised his hand weakly, a smile that seemed to want to play on his lips, despite the exhaustion that invaded his body. "I… I did it. We're going to… finally fix everything."

His words died away in a hoarse breath, a last act of resistance before his strength failed him. His legs, too weak to support him any longer, gave way beneath him. He collapsed backward, a heavy weight of fatigue, but also of relief. He didn't have to go around in circles anymore. He had held on. And this time, it would be enough.

The room went blurry around him. In a final flash of lucidity, he saw Emilia kneeling beside him. Her gaze, filled with infinite tenderness, fell on him.

"Get some rest, Subaru," she whispered softly, "you deserve it…"

At those words, the warmth of a long-awaited rest washed over him, and with a final breath, Subaru gave himself over to unconsciousness. But this time, he would not wake up in an endless loop. No, this time, he would wake up in a world where his sacrifices had borne fruit. A world where the future, finally, opened up to them.

Hey!

I have to admit that at one point, I was a little lacking in inspiration for the ending (maybe it shows, huh?), so I took a little break to get my ideas back in order. But hey, I really didn't have a better idea to conclude arc 1 of the story, so I hope this ending won't disappoint you too much.

The next arc, heading to Roswaal's mansion... Yeah, that promises a new loop of suffering! (I can't wait, haha.)

As for the release of the next chapter, I can't really tell you when it will be. I write a little bit every day in the notepad of my phone, writing down all the ideas that come to me. (5000 words, I expected more given the number of ideas I had written down for this chapter! ^^)

As usual, I remind you that I use Google Translate since I am not a native English speaker, so sorry if it doesn't make it perfect.

Thank you all for your support, and please feel free to give your opinions, suggestions, or even your criticisms. Every feedback counts!

Have a nice day, dear readers, and see you soon!