To Love Ru'd Kitsune

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Naruto x Lala x Harem?

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Author's Note

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Once again this is an updated and highly improved version of my previous To Love Ru kitsune. Subverting a lot of the crossover tropes for this crossover while whole heartily embracing others, but at the same time just having fun with it. With that I hope you guys enjoy it.

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STORY START

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Naruto awoke and turned into a warm body? His eye shot open and he saw Lala sleeping with a gentle smile. He couldn't stop himself from smiling. There was something very sweet about the girl, no matter how much trouble followed her.

He carefully lifted the covers of his bed to get out of the bed but quickly dropped them as a faint red colored his cheeks. She wasn't wearing anything. Having been a married man, Naruto was used to the naked female form, but this was new and unfamiliar female flesh.

He made his way to the bathroom and washed his face and prepared to start the day.

"So we're really living here with an alien now?"

Naruto nodded, not so much as freezing up at Yomako's sudden appearance.

"I thought you were supposed to be the only weird individual on this planet?" Yomako asked as Naruto proceeded to brush his teeth.

"You're taking this surprisingly well." He said after he finished brushing, spitting in the sink and running the water to clean it. "Much better than your reaction to my reveal."

"Ass," she commented. "You find anyone on this planet who would have taken such a thing calmly." She said as she walked away in a huff.

He walked into the room and saw Lala had woken up. "Lala-san, could you put some clothes on?" He asked as he looked away.

"Peke!" Lala called out and said clothing robot quickly dressed Lala in her strange alien cosplay outfit.

"Thanks," Naruto turned his attention back to her. "Now what were you doing in my bed?"

"I wanted to sleep with you. Since I am going to be your wife its natural for us to sleep together?" Lala asked innocently.

"Well yes…" Naruto started. "But we haven't gotten married."

"Yet." Lala corrected.

"Right," he replied, humoring her as he grabbed his shoes and bag.

"Oh? Where are you going?" Lala tilted her head.

"I'm leaving to attend School." Naruto said as he left the room. "Yomako-nee can explain it to you. I'll be back later this evening, stay out of trouble." He shouted back to her.

Hearing her name Yomako came to the door and silently cursed the fact that Naruto had off and left without so much as any information on how she was supposed to handle this situation.

"School?" Lala turned to Yomako, "Can I go?"

"Its not that simple I'm afraid. There's this whole process with paperwork and since the school I work at and Naruto attend is considered a prestigious school you have to go through the process of an interview."

"I see…" Lala brightened up. "So if I can fill in the paperwork then I can go to school?"

"If you pass the interview yes," Yomako. 'Who am I kidding. Considering our principal she's already as good as in. "There's also the fact you would need a signature from a guardian of this city in order to get in."

"Would you sign my paperwork?" Lala asked.

"It wouldn't be that simple. I would have to go through this whole process of adopting you and it would be a thing." As she finished her statement she held her hand out as out of a puff of smoke a vanilla folder landed in her hand. To say she was confused was putting it lightly. Opening the folder she saw all matters of documents, obviously forged with passports, a birth certificate, and other papers. At the top was a note from Naruto.

'I stayed up all night with Lala questioning her background. I created these forged papers so in case we ever got in trouble with the law we wouldn't have an issue to deal with. I already sent in a copy through the proper channels, can you store this copy somewhere it won't get stolen or loss. Thanks sis.'

"O-kay." Well she was sure Naruto didn't have this in mind when he sent the documents, but she was his guest/fiancé. Let him have to spend all day dealing with her instead of having her have to worry about her depleting bank account. "Let's get you prepped and ready for that interview." A grin broke out on Yamoko's face.

Naruto couldn't help but shiver. Having dealt with Sasuke's crazy ass for so long Naruto could practically sense desires for revenge and vengeance from miles away. It was a unique eight sense so to speak.

"Are you alright Nii-san?" Haruna glanced at blond that sat next to her. The two of them were as close as siblings. Ever since the day that Naruto claimed she was adorable and she was going to be his new little sister the two had been friends for life.

"No Imotou, I feel vengeance is going to be wrought upon me."

"I see," Haruna smiled softly, Naruto could be so over dramatically that she was used to it. "I hope everything works out ok."

"Don't smile at my impending misery traitor." Naruto whined. "My own sister turning against her beloved older brother."

Class went slowly as usual for the blond. The plus of attending school again after having been Hokage. He wasn't an idiot and could actually sit through the history portion, understood math, and his language skills improved dramatically. The con, it was challenging which meant it was rather boring.

Eventually the bell rung to signal the end of the lesson. The whiff of the familiar scent of peaches caught his nose. He groaned.

"Uzumaki!"

"Hey there Yui-chan."

"That is Kotegawa-SAN! I hear you're up to your shameless activities again. Appearing naked with a gaijin in one of the school changing rooms. Have you no shame?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow. What the hell was she going on about? That did not happen at all. "I…" He was cut off.

"Do you not care that our school is becoming a laughing stock among the other private academies?" As she continued to yell and berate him many students were watching, mouth gapes or whispering.

Naruto simply sighed. It wasn't even as if Yui's attempt to correct his moral fiber bothered him. In fact he found it kind of fund to fluster the girl and knew that in her heart she had good attentions. She was a good person. A moral person.

Which was why he put up with her rants. He knew by her own behavior she wasn't popular with a lot of students and a lot of positive attention was from perverted boys who want to get their dicks wet. She was quite simply lonely and he was happy to be her friend even if neither would admit it to those around them.

Well if he was going to be ranted at something, he might as well be guilty. "Sorry Yui-chan I got to run," in a sudden move of boldness that wasn't like what she knew he laid a quick peck on her cheek. "…I'll take you out for lunch later." And he shot off down the hallway leaving behind a frozen Yui.

Her face heated up as she took a moment to realize what had just happened. "U-UZUMAKI!" She screamed in outrage, completely ignoring the whole no yelling part of the rules in her outrage. When she get her hands on him…well she didn't know what…but he was going to regret it.

Naruto let out a chuckle as he walked outside. He figured he would spend the first half of lunch hiding outside before seeing if the cafeteria would be safe. He figured he would have a few minutes to meet the others before dashing off again.

"Hey! You Uzumaki!" A voice called out to him. He turned to see a bunch of punks with piercings, cigarettes, and ruffled school uniforms. The blazers and skirts were a lighter color, a shade of blue in fact indicating they were delinquents from an academy out in the eastern part of the city.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto." He answered as the one with a nose ring and red dyed Mohawk stepped forward. "Name's Shinichi Kuwosawa, toughest kid in Sarayashiki high and leader of the blue scorpions. Hear you've been giving my followers a tough time."

For a moment Naruto didn't know what he was talking about when suddenly he remembered. He had saved a couple of middle school girls who were being harassed by some punks a few weeks ago.

"Oh right, the pathetic thugs that harassed middle school children must make your gang look tough to pick on those who can't defend themselves."

"You're going to regret those words." He said as he motioned some of his crew to work Naruto over.

"UZUMAKI!"

Naruto paused, 'shit, not now.'

"You think you can get away with…" She trailed off, taking notice of the delinquents. "What are students from Sarayashiki doing here? Skipping school, do none of you care about such shameless behavior?"

"Why don't you just shut up you dumb broad?" One of the thugs said raising up his hand showing he was bearing brass knuckles.

"Yeah," Another who licked a switch blade leered at her, "Pretty little thing like you should be on her hands and knees, not lecturing your betters!"

"What did you say?" Yui's eyes narrowed. "It is people like you that are causing the moral backbone of our very society to decay!"

"Kotegawa-san." Yui froze, that tone, she turned to Naruto who had a serious expression on his face. She was left breathless. That was a far cry from the goofy grin she was accustomed to. "Leave, go get campus security or whatever, but please get out of here."

"I…" she stammered, having not seen this side of him.

"If you think we're going to let this mouthy girl get away with disrespecting our gang you're wrong. Take her out then show Uzumaki the strong of the blue scorpions." Shinichi ordered.

The thug with the brass knuckles charged forward.

Yui who was frozen in shock could only look on in horror as the hand was mere feet from her face.

In a flash a person was in front of her. "W-What." She managed to stammer out.

"Geez, I hope you don't plan on making this a regular occurrence."

"U-Uzumaki-san." Yu breathed out upon realizing Naruto had caught the fist.

"Let me go trash." The blue scorpion said as he tried to pull from the grasp.

"Trash? Cute. Let me show you what I think of criminals like you." Swiftly Naruto's palm shot forward, shattering the left side of the thug's ribcage. He blacked out from the pain and dropped down in a crumbled heap. "Now whose next? I don't take kindly to thugs who would threaten Yui-chan like that so now is your only change to run."

"D… Don't address me so familiarly!" Yui pointed at whilst blushing.

"We aren't afraid of you!" The one with the switch blade charged forward only for Naruto to grab his hand and with a single yoink pulled the thug's arm socket out. He collapsed to the ground, writhing and screaming in pain.

Yui couldn't help but pale at how easily and brutal the blond was.

Two charged him together, brandishing bats, both of which he caught in his hand. Leaping up he landed two kicks to their jaws before flipping back over and landing on his feet. The two thugs fell back several feet as they landed on the ground, knocked out. "And then there were three." He raised one of the bats and caught one of the knives thrown at him. "Now that's not nice. Didn't daddy teach you its not nice to throw things at people? Then again considering how I turned out, not having a dad isn't much of an excuse." He mocked as he readied the bats unaware the little tidbit didn't escape Yui's notice. "So, so much for that scorpion sting."

"You little shit." Shinichi began reaching for a weapon and pulled out a gun.

Yui immediately became alarmed. "Naruto-san."

"Stop! Stay where you are!" A voice shouted from Naruto and Yui. It was the campus police.

Shinichi let out a curse. "This isn't over Uzumaki." He swore as he and the remaining gang member took off.

The two students were soon questioned, one could say hounded by what happened. Finally long after the end of lunch bell had rang they were let loose.

"Uzumaki-san…" Yui looked at the blonde and wasn't sure how felt. She just knew thinking back to that moment, the gun, and the fear that seized her heart.

"Are you okay?" He turned to look at her. They were in the administration hallway so they had quite a walk back to the classroom.

"You idiot, you could have gotten hurt. Why…why did you fight?"

"Because cowards like that only understand one thing. Though considering you're insulting me that means you're ok, I'm for one am glad. I couldn't stand by and let you get hurt." The grin on his face and his words caused the raven haired girl to feel a warm sensation. "Anyway I better get this out of the way." He was pretty much ordered to go see the nurse Mikado to get checked out.

"I'll walk you there." She insisted.

"Oh?" He responded with a grin.

"D-Don't get any ideas. It is only the proper thing for me to do. To make sure you get to the nurse's office." Even Yui wasn't sure how convincing she sounded.

"Oh Naruto-kun it seems nothing can keep you out of my office for long?" Ryoko Mikado was easily considered one of the most beautiful women in the school with dark emerald green eyes and brownish red hair. Her outfit consisted of a lab coat, a pink top that slightly showed the top of her breasts held together by a belt on her waist and a black skirt. Her figure was mature and rivaled Yomako's easily.

"Let's get this over with." Naruto deadpanned. Like Risa this woman delighted in flirting with him to the point he accepted her offers weren't serious and was just her way of having fun.

Mikado asked Yui to wait outside as she did some checks on Naruto.

Almost immediately he found he needed to have his shirt be taken off. "According to my records we still don't have your physical results," Mikado smiled. "So I believe it will be prudent that I give you a physical now."

"This is the third time this year my results have mysteriously disappeared."

"Oh my, that is quite the mystery." She coyly responded, acting as if she didn't hear the accusation in his tone.

"Let's just get this over with."

"Don't worry, Naruto-kun, there's nothing to be nervous or embarrassed about. I may not look like it, but I'm a professional, ya know!"

She winked at the blonde good-naturedly, causing Naruto to relax a little. Might as well just accept this was happening.

"Good! Now then, first, I need to take your temperature. Open your mouth, please."

Naruto did as she asked, and Mikado placed a thermometer under his tongue.

"Hold it in your mouth until it beeps, okay Naruto-kun?"

Naruto simply nodded again.

"Alright, now to get the rest of my supplies."

The nurse bent over to look for something, her backside perfectly outlined by her tight curse, causing a tent in Naruto's pants to rise, which he swiftly shifted his pants to cover up.

He mentally swore. Seeing Lala in the nude had stirred up his hormones that he had been able to keep control.

Soon Mikado found what she'd been looking for, and turned back to Naruto just as the thermometer beeped.

"Oh good, you're done! Let's see how your temperature is…"

Thankfully he was able to meditate and quickly resolve his issue. Standing up Mikado walked back over and pulled the thermometer from his mouth.

"Hmm… 101.4 degrees… usually I'd say you have a fever, but that's your normal temperature, right?"

Naruto nodded. He remembered the first time he had his temperature taken. That was not a fun week.

"Now I need to check your blood pressure. Just relax your right arm, okay?"

Naruto nodded, letting his arm go limp as she strapped the Velcro strip to his arm, pumping it until his blood pressure was displayed on the electric screen.

"Alright, your blood pressure is almost perfect, give or take a couple numbers. You're quite healthy, Naruto-kun!"

"What can I say I work out and eat my vegetables."

"I can definitely tell." A sly smile graced her lips as she looked him over.

"Well, let's continue. I need to take your pulse…" Taking up his wrist and looking at her watch. "…okay, good, nice and strong. Now I need your height and weight. Go stand on the scale, please."

Naruto nodded and jumped off the examination table, walking over to the scale and stepping onto it.

"My for you to have a weight of that amount you must have quite a deal of muscle."

Naruto did his best not to be flustered by her flirty tone.

Mikado then measured his height.

"And so tall as well. No wonder Momoika-san and Kotegawa-san are so taken with you."

This time he couldn't suppress the blush and Mikado giggled once more.

"Alright, Naruto-kun, I'm sorry. Now, we're almost done; I need you to sit on the examination table again."

The blond did so.

"Now, don't be embarrassed by this next question. Are you sexually active?"

Aah there we go.

"Yes." He answered without hesitation.

"My such confidence. Women love that in a man."

Mikado winked at him.

"Do you know how to wear protection?"

"I am well aware in how to use multiple forms of contraceptives and know how to use them." All technical truths.

"Oh my, such an experienced young man. Well then, I suppose it won't bother you if I ask you to turn your head and cough during this next part of the exam-ination." She smiled, her generous cleavage presented to him.

A red faced Naruto soon left the nurse's office. "Let's go." He said quickly, barely giving time for Yui to catch up to him. A grinning Mikado came to the door. "Come visit me again real soon Naruto-kun." She topped it off with a flirty wave.

It was the following day and once more he woke up to no Lala and Yomako wasn't home. It was just like the day before. Something was telling him some development was going to occur soon.

"And today we have an exchange student joining us." The teacher called out.

"Maybe it's a hot girl," Kenichi Saruyama rubbed his hands together.

"Try not to scare this one away eh Saruyama." Naruto dryly remarked.

"Wow she is beautiful," Kenichi was distracted as a familiar pink haired girl entered the room.

'Well shit.'

"Hi I'm Lala Deviluke!" The princess waved happily.

'Well, there goes the peace and quiet.' As soon as they recognized her as the girl from before, which in all honesty wouldn't be all that long which meant the rumors were going to be circulating again soon.

He finally came to realize Lala was still talking.

There was a cheer from the class.

"Wow Naruto-san I didn't know you were so brave."

"Saving her from her father's man so cool."

"First Momoika, then Kotegawa, and now Deviluke-san. He's building a harem. A harem I told you."

"Naruto-san is an inspiration. He is a man among man."

"Oh my, Naruto-kun you are such a hero. Fighting off vicious thugs to save vulnerable young maidens." Risa swooned.

'What the hell did she tell them?' Considering they weren't freaking out, at least nothing that revealed that Lala was an alien.

"Afterwards I was so grateful to Naruto-kun that I… I decided I would marry him!"

There it was.

"Hey there Ototou." Yomako's voice from the other side of the phone was far too cheerful.

"Why do you hate me?"

"Looks like Lala-chan got there safely."

"You're not answering my question."

"Don't be so dramatic Ototou. She insisted on going and I didn't have the heart to say no. I thought you would be thrilled to spend all day with your fiancé."

"If the government busts down our door I'm throwing you under the bus."

"Muu…so mean to your Onee-sama and after I did you a favor."

"Right." He shouldn't be surprised Lala passed the interview. Damn perverted principal. One glance at Yomako and boom she was in. Didn't matter if her qualifications weren't as good as teachers of this salary level or standard. "I'm hanging up now." He hung up. He supposed he needed to get back to class.

He got back to his desk where his friends were eagerly waited for him.

"Ah Naruto-san." Haruna smiled at Naruto who sat at his desk next to hers. "Lala-san just finished explaining to us how she traveled from out of country to here and you are looking after to her."

"That's right."

"She's a really nice girl. She told us you were teaching her the local customs and thought coming to school would help her with that. That was nice of you to volunteer to help her." Haruna continued.

"If there was a moment she isn't smiling and energetic I can't recall one." Naruto replied with a shake of his shoulders.

"To be so carefree and open I wish I was more like that." A wistful sigh escaped Haruna's lips.

"Well we all have things that make us unique. You shouldn't be so down on yourself. Besides word is that your shyness makes you cute. Especially to a lot of boys." He teased causing Haruna to blush.

Naruto turned to face the orange haired youth who was sat to the left diagonal of his desk. "Right Rito-san?" Right? Its about time you grow a pair.

"AH…Sarenji-san is cute… H-Her shyness is cute…like how in a lot of girls…" He fumbled, generalizing the comment and making Naruto want to punch him. Maybe he should rethink his no direct interference policy.

"Hey do I have any cute aspects?" Risa asked as she entered the conversation.

"Bah, what you have is the qualities of a deviant in the making."

Risa pouted. "Naruto-kun."

Realizing she wouldn't leave him alone otherwise. "You're energetic which is a positive quality and also affectionate I suppose. Problem is for those of who actually think with something else besides our tips it doesn't transfer into long term girlfriend material."

"Very well I shall become the kind of girl one would have as a long term girlfriend." A fire was a lit in her eyes. "…and then you'll ravage my body right?"

"For a moment I thought you were serious." He dryly remarked. When it came to Risa he really needed to stop being surprised.