Like clockwork, Jasper pulled up to Cara's house at exactly 7:15 on Monday morning. Cara, who wasn't due to be at the hospital until 8, sat at the table with a cup of steaming coffee in one hand, a newspaper in the other, and a rather content expression on her face. Maybe I was being paranoid, but I got the feeling she was up to something, or perhaps hiding a secret from me that she thought was funny. I hoped in vain that she would leave before me and completely miss Jasper, but she stayed, looking up from her newspaper when the sound of his bike reached a crescendo on our street.
"Who in the world is that?"
She hopped up from her chair, forgetting the coffee and the paper, to peer out the curtains by the door.
"It's just my ride. I'll see you at the hospital later!"
A really cool sister would've told me to have a great day and thought nothing of the motorcycle or the teenage boy that'd be driving it (and me) to school. Cara was debatably not a cool sister, because before I could shut the door behind me, she was strutting out on the porch, full of enough piss and vinegar to take on a mob. I groaned, knowing she was about to embarrass the hell out of me in front of Jasper. Well, I assumed it was Jasper, though it was hard to tell due to the helmet. He never wore a helmet, or insisted that I wear one either, so this was new.
"First of all, why ain't you driving your own car? Second of all, please tell me you have enough sense to not ride a death trap."
I opened my mouth, ready to start arguing about how I was eighteen and she couldn't boss me around just because I was younger, but Jasper beat me to it as he removed the helmet and placed it on the leather seat.
"I don't reckon we've officially met. I'm Jasper; Esme Cullen is my aunt and foster mom for the time being. You must be Cara."
His words flowed smooth as warm honey, as he gave both of us a dazzling smile. I'd never seen Jasper look so…charming before. Nine times out of ten, I could push him to a smirk or a smile, but he was usually deep in thought based on the set of his jaw and focus of his eyes. With Cara, his eyes sparkled like two perfectly cut gems and his smile was oddly dazzling. It was like he took his normal good looks and dialed them up to 100 just for this occasion. As a result, Cara's face had frozen in a mask of surprise.
"I-yes. I'm Collins's sister. Carlisle- I mean, Doctor Cullen has mentioned you before. It's nice to meet you."
Cara had never been one to be starstruck by celebrities; I was the one that liked to look at news webpages and interviews in magazines to keep up with all the gossip. But her stuttered words and widened eyes greatly resembled a fan meeting their favorite movie star. It actually wasn't all that different from how she acted around Dr. Cullen, though now it seemed more unnerving.
"I was fixin' to take Collins to school. Actually, we're cutting it short on time and should be headed that way," Jasper turned and opened the compartment under his seat to extract another helmet that I'd never seen before. He pushed it into my hands, then returned his attention to my still frozen sister. "Anyways, it was a pleasure meeting you. I'll be super careful to ensure she gets to school safely."
He didn't wait for Cara or me to answer; instead, he grasped my hand to help me swing my leg over the bike. I pulled the helmet over my head, hoping that it wouldn't give me awful helmet hair, and waited for Cara to try to haul me back. But when I chanced a look in her direction, she was still doe-eyed and motionless.
Jasper dipped his head to Cara, not unlike a cowboy would tip his hat, and started the motorcycle. I slipped my arms around his waist, wondering if he would speed off knowing that my sister was still watching, and tried to make myself heard over the roar of the engine.
"How did you even do that?"
He didn't reply. He just shrugged his shoulders and pulled out onto the street, bringing our speed up to a reasonable thirty-five. I'd never seen him drive so slow; we were bound to be late if he kept it up.
"Don't you think you could kick it up a notch? We're gonna be tardy."
"I thought you didn't like when I drive fast?"
I only had time to wrap my arms a little tighter around him before he revved the engine, speeding us around the corner and out of Cara's view. My stomach lurched, but as we picked up more speed, the feeling of still-cold spring air against my face was just as exhilarating as the first time we'd ridden together. And just like last time, there was zero heat radiating from Jasper's body. Surely his skin wasn't the same as the ambient temperature, but I felt no warmth through his back the entire ride to school.
The parking lot was entirely full except for a compact spot at the farthest end away from the doors to the main building. Just as Jasper killed the engine, and I disembarked, the warning bell gave a trill ring throughout the campus. The handful of students still milling about outside started to meander in the direction of various classrooms while I still tried to brush the knots out of my hair with my fingers. The tardy bell would be ringing in three minutes, and we hadn't even made it to the front lawn.
"Why are we cutting it so close today? This is really going to mess up my attendance record."
I watched Jasper remove his helmet and shake out his golden hair; of course, it still looked perfect while mine felt frizzy in the humid air. His lips curled into a relaxed grin as he slid his fingers between mine and strode through the lot.
"Yeah, all the days you were out sick didn't affect it at all. Neither did the time you broke your ankle, and I had to take you to the hospital or—"
"Okay, okay, I've got it. Just answer the question, please."
A girl with fiery red hair halfway between us and the main building turned around to say something to another girl behind her, but stopped when she caught me staring at her. Her eyes shifted to Jasper, then back to me, and finally to our hands clasped together. Once the girl's friend pulled up alongside her, they began talking quickly, with her gaze flicking back to us a few times, as if I hadn't noticed. I was about to make a remark to Jasper about it when I realized that he was leaning close to my ear. Having him so close still ramped up my pulse in a way that I didn't entirely mind, yet couldn't precisely understand.
"That's why I wanted to be late. My family keeps the local rumor mill in business, and I didn't want you to be subjected to that right away. Seems my timing wasn't quite perfect."
His lips tightened into a frown, and I could feel the beginning waves of annoyance rolling off of him. I tried to reassure him by squeezing his cold hand a little tighter in mine.
"I'm no stranger to small town gossip, Jasper. It's fine. But thank you for at least trying; it's sweet. Totally unlike you, too."
Jasper rolled his eyes, but the waves of annoyance tapered off, and his mood stabilized into neutrality. In the hallway, only a few people took note of us while we hauled ass to calculus before the tardy bell. I didn't care what people said or thought about Jasper and me being together. Every small town had a family that garnered unwanted attention and untruthful rumors; the Cullens were easy targets for this given their unusual family make-up and tendency to keep to themselves. Just because people liked to talk didn't mean any of it was true. So when we walked into class hand-in-hand, I paid the odd looks no mind and took the same seat I'd been sitting in all semester without a second thought.
"So."
Angela turned around to pin me with a stern look during Government, which had devolved into a study period that day. Immediately her curiosity was apparent, and I felt a pang of guilt for not at least texting her about recent developments, but I had wanted to keep everything to myself for just a while longer. Now that news had started circulating, the time for strict privacy had run out.
"I hear that things between you and Jasper are…better?"
"About that," I began to explain, then remembered how I had ended up in the car with Jasper in the first place on Friday afternoon. "Thanks for bailing on me Friday. My only choices were hitch a ride with Hale or walk home in the rain."
"Must have been a nice ride."
I smacked her shoulder while she tried to suppress her laughter, as to not disturb the row beside us. If I hadn't gotten so comfortable with Angela the past four months, I would have blushed at the comment, but I knew at this point, I could tell her anything.
"We talked things out. Cleared up some understandings," I said vaguely. "We're…good."
"Does good mean dating?"
My lips involuntarily pulled into a large grin, which Angela mirrored.
"Well if you're happy, I'm happy. Just promise me that you won't completely go MIA now that you two are an item, yeah?"
I drew a cross over the left side of my chest with my finger.
"I swear. There's no way I could ditch you or Jessica. She'd beat the hell out of me."
It was Angela's turn to smack my shoulder playfully.
After being crippled for nearly two months, I finally got the chance to participate in a volleyball match during PE. To say I was rusty would be an understatement, and there were plenty of jokes made at my expense. Nevertheless, after the first game ended, I remembered what I'd been missing the past several weeks of sitting back and reading in the bleachers. When the bell rang, I reluctantly headed to the locker room to shower and change, until it occurred to me that I'd be seeing Jasper in a few minutes. The thought made my stomach flip as I rinsed away the sweat under the tepid stream of water.
Just as I had suspected, Jasper was leaning against the outside wall between the gym and the next building, arms crossed and eyebrows scrunched up in thought, clearly occupied with something on his mind. It wasn't until I stood a few paces in front of him that he turned his attention to me. His brow relaxed, and the corner of his mouth shifted upward. Again, involuntarily, my breath caught on the inhale at the realization that someone as ridiculously good-looking as Jasper was interested in me.
"'Bout time. Thought I'd have to come looking for you."
He held out his hand for my bag, but I shook my head.
"Nah, it's one thing to carry my stuff when I'm on crutches. It's really not necessary now."
"Stubborn," he teased while opening the door for me. I was stubborn, but I could allow a little chivalry.
"Yeah, yeah. So what's the plan for lunch now that our exams are over?"
The hallway was full of students; their glances started an unwelcome prickling along my skin. All day, whenever we were together, it garnered more attention than I thought necessary. We had been spending time together all semester; the only difference now was simply holding hands.
"Did you know that nonchalance is sort of a mood?" Jasper asked as we turned the corner, not answering the question. We paused to drop my clothes off at my locker where it was even easier to notice people looking at us. I shrugged.
"It is. So, if you want to spend lunch in the cafeteria, I could always do something about it. Or we can hide out in the library."
The idea of hiding out anywhere with Jasper made my pulse race, but I had promised Angela I'd make sure to keep dividing time evenly between him and them.
"Let's go, then. I'm in need of a chicken salad after gym anyway."
Although we'd garnered plenty of attention in the hallway, entering the cafeteria felt like the pivotal scene of a rom-com. Not everyone had their eyes on us, but it was enough to bring the prickly feeling back over my skin and cause a blush to spread across my face. There was even a dip in the volume, but not a complete hush. The only thing that kept me from turning a one-eighty and dashing for the library was Jasper's firm hand in mine.
"It'll pass," he murmured just loud enough for me to hear. "I'm not as good at controlling interest as I am at other emotions. I have to split my focus between who's interested and what they're interested in."
Either Jasper was being modest, or it became obvious to everyone else in the cafeteria that there was nothing particularly significant about a couple holding hands and walking together. Though I will admit, if everyone else found the Cullens as dazzling as I did, then perhaps there was a reason to be watching so intently.
"Is that why you wanted to be late today? To avoid all the gawking?"
I grabbed a tray and started piling lettuce onto it. Jasper grabbed nothing, which wasn't out of the ordinary, but seemed odd that he didn't eat on the regular. I on the other hand had spent the last few months sneaking snacks into the library whenever Ms. Fields wasn't looking. It occurred to me that this was the first time in months that we had both eaten (or not) eaten in the cafeteria. Even still, I only looked at him.
"I always knew you were smart."
I pushed his shoulder, but it was entirely ineffectual.
"Don't you want anything to eat?"
"I'll just steal from your plate if it's all the same."
I added a few extra carrots with that in mind, grabbed a Diet Coke from the stand at the end, and headed to the table we always sat at where there were a couple of chairs still sat open. I reached to grab the one beside Bella, but Jasper beat me to it.
"Someone has some explaining to do..."
That was Jess.
"Could today have been any more awkward?" I groaned and dropped my bookbag on the floor in the foyer. Cara was working late and had told me she'd figure out dinner for herself, which left an hour or two for Jasper and me. Which, if I was being honest, made me a little nervous, but I tried to push that out of my mind as I hopped up the stairs with him a step behind. Once in my room, I plopped onto the bed with arms spread wide and let out a deep breath. About a second later, I realized that laying on my bed could send a completely different message and slowly moved into a sitting position, careful to keep my emotions under wrap. My eyes followed Jasper as he removed his jacket, placed it on the back of my desk chair, and sat to my left. In his right hand was the book he had loaned me, Lonesome Dove.
"I should have warned you that'd happen; I'm sorry. My family tends to get a lot more attention than is warranted. I thought that I could keep it from getting too noticeable, and obviously that didn't work."
"It's okay. Small town high schools need something to talk about, and it'll blow over in a week or so."
It didn't matter that we'd been kissing less than a day ago; just our shoulders touching and sitting together made my chest tighten a smidge. Would I ever get used to being with him or would it always be like this?
"Nothing a little Wild West can't help," Jasper offered the book to me and sat back to get comfortable. I hadn't started reading it yet, mostly because it was such a large book that I wasn't entirely sure would be interesting. Though the latter could have been said about True Grit, and I'd loved it. Whether that had anything to do with Jasper reading half of it to me during my week with the flu remained to be seen.
"You're not going to offer to read to me again? It really elevated the Texan experience, ya' know," I teased playfully. It actually wasn't a lie despite the sarcasm, but making him roll his eyes had become a personal goal long before we'd become a couple.
"If it's all the same to you, I'll just follow along. Definitely not my first time reading it."
With that, I settled a little closer so he could read over my shoulder and tried to focus on the words instead of the close proximity. It didn't bother me so much that his body gave off absolutely zero heat when I had a blanket draped over my lap, but it was unusual, in the sense that anything warm-blooded should give off some amount. The longer I read in Jasper's presence, the less that it occupied my mind. I found that I had slipped into a dreamy languor, not purely from reading any length of time, but rather an overwhelming lull of content radiating throughout the room. No doubt it was Jasper's doing, though likely not on purpose. He had told me of having an inadvertent influence over the feelings of the people he was around; to know that he enjoyed the time we spent together enough that it seeped through the air between us gave me a deep reassurance about how he felt regarding me. I had no illusions about how short our relationship may be given that we now had less than a month till graduation, never mind whether he intended to attend college at the same institution I had chosen. In fact, that could be an awful idea in the long run should things end badly. But at that moment, knowing Jasper felt equally pleased to sit in silence and read over my shoulder as I did have him there was enough. There was no need to wonder what might happen a month or even a year into the future.
He pressed a quick, cool kiss to my temple while tucking hair behind my ear and continuing to gently run his fingers through it. I read the same sentence five times over before laying the book down and turning to him. Jasper's eyes never appeared the same hue twice; at that moment, they were a chocolate brown I had yet to see before. The color had a sobering effect, much the opposite of his lips and fingertips. It reminded me of that strange sense of alarm I had once felt and dwelt on when I had first moved to Forks and met a member of his family.
"Everything alright?"
And just like that, I was back under some inexplicable spell, a mixture of his scent and his touch, that left my mind nearly blank and stole the air from my lungs. I almost thought the question to be nonsensical. Nothing was alright and everything was perfect all at the same time. As much as I felt entranced by Jasper, I also felt some sort of caution at times that left me unnerved. Like perhaps being with him could be dangerous in some way, regardless of the fact that he had never hurt me, physically that is. The idea that he would hurt me was foreign and unsettling whenever it flared, as it did then.
"Collins?"
The way he said my name was not a soft whisper or a delicate sigh like I had heard before. It was harsher and less sweet, giving me the impression that he knew what I was thinking and reminding me that he could sense what I felt, if I were not careful. It would be difficult to explain that feeling to him, as I had not figured it out either.
Cara saved me from having to explain anything when we heard her open and close the front door before stomping her feet on the mat much louder than necessary, letting us know that she'd arrived home. She'd obviously seen Jasper's bike outside and would be either on her way up to poke her head through the door and see what we were up to or make as much noise as possible to draw us downstairs so she could keep an eye on us. I rolled off my bed and stood, hoping that I hadn't been too abrupt. Nevertheless, I appreciated the break in the spell now that we both had our attention elsewhere.
"I've got to see if Cara needs any help with dinner. Do you want to stay?"
Jasper stood, somehow with much more grace than I had, donned his coat.
"Actually, I should be going, but thanks. I'll see you tomorrow, though not quite as early."
Now that he was only a few inches away, he leaned forward, kissing my cheek for only a second.
"See you then," I replied to his back as he retreated down the stairs and out the door, leaving me leaning against the doorframe. An unsettling pool of doubt gathered in my stomach, which I pushed away and tried to reassure myself that nothing was in fact wrong.