Look at me! I updated in less than a week! I'm feelin' pretty awesome right now. Now, this chapter is pretty heavy, so it's not going to be what you guys are used to. But it's necessary, and good to have a bit of both angst and fluff/smut.

I had a ton of new readers/reviewers this time around! Shout out to them: AngelofSorrow620, Captain Kathryn Cullen, edward5953, prettyeliza10, Elphabella1122, cullengirl08, Masen's-Girl-123, anothertwilither, Aestheticvoyager, maximumsarah33, xXxFreeHellxXx, and luv4edwardcullen. Thanks for joining the ship of lust that is NN, even though it's kind of angsty now.

Most people who reviewed were confused as to why Edward didn't hear anything. I couldn't answer you guys at the time of the reviews, but the beginning of this chapter will tell you all you need to know. Many asked if Bella is pregnant, and I won't be answering that question.

Thanks to Jazz for staying up late to Beta, this chapter is dedicated to her. Chapter 11 was dedicated to Brand New Eyes because she was the motivation for getting it done FINALLY. I forgot to mention this last chapter, lol.

The only things Stephenie Meyer doesn't own are my copies of Harry Potter.

EPOV

Bella looked so adorable skipping into the Dunkin' Donuts. I ogled over her cute, tight ass and got very excited about the night ahead of us. The physical part of our relationship was excellent, as was the emotional part. I had begun to think that this woman was going to be the one…but I didn't want to rush anything yet.

At times I sensed a bit of hesitancy from Bella. Perhaps I just imagined it and I'm just over thinking things, but it seems that Bella pulls back sometimes. I've poured my heart and soul into every relationship I've ever been in, especially this one, and it would be devastating for me if she wasn't as dedicated to this as I am. Maybe she's just testing the waters and being careful with a new relationship, especially when we started as having two one night stands. If that was the case, I could live with it. I was just hoping I was right.

I heard my cell phone ring, and I reached over the console to pick it up, when I felt excruciating pain to my head, and then there was nothing.

***

I heard a siren somewhere in the distance, and then my hearing was gone. I saw a flash of red light, and then nothing again. My hearing was back for a bit, but only muffled. Everything sounded slow and like I was under water. The siren was back again, and I could have sworn I heard some voices. There was a scream in the distance, and then everything went black again.

***

A searing pain ripped through my body, and once the original blast of it was gone, I realized it was located in my head. It felt as if my brain was being scraped with a nail, and my skull was being sawed through. My back arched in pain and I screamed at the top of my lungs. It was the first time I noticed that I was laying down. Where that was, I couldn't be sure, but I knew it was hard and uncomfortable. I couldn't think with all the screaming and pain. I searched my brain desperately for a reason why I would be on the ground. Where was I before this black nothingness of pain and confusion? It was too difficult to discern what the fuck was going on. I still couldn't see (maybe my eyes were closed, I had no idea) and the pain was even worse than before.

The muffled voices came back and I felt myself being lifted. I focused on the feeling of it, coming to the conclusion that someone was carrying me. There was some pressure on my chest, and all of a sudden I became more aware of my surroundings. The voices were less skewed, the sirens were louder, and I came to the conclusion that there were multiple people wherever I was. I was no longer laying on a hard surface, and I felt a pinch in my arm and then it was gone. I could feel my eyelids. I couldn't open them because there were large boulders on top of them, but I was definitely trying. I clenched my fists as more voices came into focus and pierced my eardrums. There was something covering my mouth. At first I tried to swat it away, but then I realized it was helping me breathe better than I had been, and I let it go. The boulders' weight started to lessen, and I felt some slight movement, almost like I was levitating. That sounded ridiculous even in my head in this state, so I tried to think of another way I could be moving. I heard a voice that sounded like it was calling my name. What's my name again? I listened more closely in an attempt to figure out whose voice it was, and what they might be saying.

"Edward?" the voice called out.

So that's my name. The voice kept saying my name over and over, like it was asking me a question. Perhaps they were asking what happened to me. If only I could figure that out myself, I could let them know and I could be on my way. My arms reached out in front of me to grab on to the person to let them know that I could hear them.

"Can you hear me, Edward?" called the voice again.

Didn't they understand? That's what I was getting at, flapping my arms all over the place. I tried to move my head to nod, but nothing was working. My head was in a vice and it was continually being squeezed. I remembered I had this thing called a mouth, and I moved the lips attached to it and tried to make a sound. I failed.

"Nod, speak, do anything if you can hear me, Edward."

I lifted my right hand and waved it around, hoping someone would see me.

"Good, good. We're taking you to the hospital, Edward. Stay with us, okay?"

The hospital? What in the fucking hell happened? Why the fuck was I going to the hospital? There had to be a mistake, there just fucking had to be. I couldn't remember anything that happened. If something that terrible occurred that I'd need to go to the hospital, I'd remember it…right? Something else didn't feel right…I couldn't put my finger on it, but it felt like there was something missing…

I decided to try and work on opening my eyes. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to handle it, as the noise filling my ears made me feel like I was going to explode. Taking images through my eyes might cause that to actually happen. I squeezed my eyes in attempt to get rid of the boulders, and it worked. I struggled against my lids, but I finally opened them and was greeted by a bright, shining light, and blurred figures on each side of my body. There was a lot of shouting in tense voices as I searched my brain for any evidence of what could have happened. I realized I had the ability to speak, so I tried to form some words.

"What…?" I managed to choke out. This seemed to excite the people around me.

"Keep trying to talk to us, Edward. We're here for you, Mr. Cullen."

I looked to my right and saw a needle in my arm. My eyes followed the tube up to a bag above my head. There's an IV in my arm. Why is there an IV in my arm?

"What…what…happened?" I finally asked. Maybe these people sticking needles in my arms would be able to fill in the blanks for me.

"We believe you were attacked with a blunt object just outside the Dunkin' Donuts. We're taking you to Seattle General for surgery."

I was attacked? Holy fucking shit! What the hell did I do to this person to get beaten? And why the hell was I at Dunkin' Donuts? Starbucks is just down the road from…

"NO!" I screamed in realization. It all fit together now. At least some of it. I never went to Dunkin' Donuts, but I was there for Bella. She wanted a muffin and I pulled into the place so she could go in and purchase one. But where was she now? I needed to see her. I needed her here by my side. I was scared for me, and I was scared for her. It made me nervous not knowing where she was. My senses kicked in a bit more and I was able to form a sentence.

"Bella…where's Bella?" I needed to know.

"She was attacked as well. She's in the other ambulance which is ahead of us and also on its way to Seattle General."

Everything was spinning. My organs felt mangled up and the gash on my head burned. A scream ripped through the ambulance; my limbs thrashed around trying to get to my Bella, and trying to stop myself from yelling so much. Nothing made sense, and the only thing I wanted was to see Bella and protect her from harm. I needed to know if she was okay. Every precaution I had been taking recently had been for her benefit and her protection against anything that could hurt her. And because I didn't take her directly home like I wanted to, and because I didn't go inside with her, she was attacked, in pain, and possibly…no. I couldn't think like that. It would be too much, too painful.

"Bella! I need to see her! Bella!" I screamed over and over again like a mantra, thrashing my body around until whom I could only assume to be paramedics had to restrain me from harming myself or anyone else. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I repeatedly said my angel's name: Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella… If anything had happened to her, my life would be over, and I knew it.

After what felt like hours, the ambulance stopped and the paramedics rushed me out of the vehicle and into the hospital. They assured me that Bella was alright and was right in front of me on her own stretcher. We were both going to the trauma ward and the city's best surgeons were already notified and prepping for our arrival. Among all of this commotion of reassurances, a nurse asked me a million questions about who I was, where I lived, my name, age, etc. I answered her without missing a beat, looking up at the moving ceiling above me as I was being wheeled into the ER. It was interesting how I could barely comprehend the words and sights around me, and even the fact that I had eyes, and now that Bella's well-being was thrown into the picture, I was perfectly alert. Call it an adrenaline rush, if you will, but not a very pleasant one.

I was prepped for surgery, given an anesthetic, and the surgeon spoke. "I'd like you to count backwards from 10, Edward."

Such a stupid request. Why couldn't I just babble on about something stupid? Or maybe count forwards? "10, 9, 8..."

My vision went blurry at 8, I felt exhausted at 7, and was totally out by 5.

***

My eyes opened as I came to. I was laying in a hospital bed at Seattle General. There was a small TV mounted on the wall, a nightstand next to my bed, and terribly tacky and sick looking wallpaper covering the room. Ouch. I remembered why I was here as my head pounded in pain. But I couldn't think about that now. I needed to know where my Bella was, and if she was okay. I knew she had gone into surgery at the same time I had, but I hadn't heard anything. I reached over next to me and pushed the button to call a nurse to my room.

A short, plump, middle-aged woman who I assumed to be the nurse walked into my room.

"How are you feeling, Mr. Cullen?" she asked. It was obviously part of her bedside manner training. It was uncannily not genuine and mechanical. She was trying too hard to be nice.

"Where's Bella?" That was the only thing that mattered. I was fine, but what about her?

"Is she a friend of yours?"

"Bella is my girlfriend and she was attacked. Where is she?"

"I'm afraid I don't know that, Mr. Cullen. Would you like something to eat?"

This woman was really irritating me now. Why didn't she understand how urgent this was? She completely ignored the fact that I told her Bella was attacked, and skipped right ahead to what was most likely the next step of the nurse's act.

"I'm not hungry. I need to know if Bella is okay." I tried not to sound rude, but I think I failed.

"You really should eat."

Anger boiled in the pit of my stomach and I sat up quickly, throwing my hands up in the air in annoyance.

"Don't you understand? Some asshole psycho beat her over the head!" I screamed at the insufferable woman. "Look, she came into the ER right before I did. Could you," I asked politely, "please find out where she is and if she's alright? I really need to know."

She sighed and pursed her lips. "Yes, Mr. Cullen."

"Thank you. Her name is Bella Swan."

She nodded and walked out of the room, finally listening to what I needed. I tossed and turned uncomfortably in the scratchy sheets of the generic bed I was laying in. I didn't want to watch TV, and I didn't want to read the gossip rags they provided on the end table. I felt like pacing around the room, but the only problem was that there was an IV in my arm, and I was in too much pain to get up. Bella could be in more pain than you, you selfish bastard. I slowly removed the needle from my arm, threw the blankets off of my body and gingerly moved my legs to the side of the bed. Just as my feet were about to touch the floor, a man wearing a white lab coat walked into my room.

"Where do you think you're going, Mr. Cullen?" the doctor asked.

"To find Bella. No one is telling me anything."

"Nurse Mary is currently checking on her status. Please get back into bed. My name is Dr. Gerandy, and I'd like to talk to you about your condition."

Rolling my eyes and sighing, I laid back down and waited for him to speak.

"Thank you. Now," he said, walking around the room, "you were assaulted with what we believe to be a blunt object of some sort. You were knocked unconscious and suffered a cerebral contusion because of the attack. You sustained some minor bruising, but otherwise you're alright. We're going to keep you here for a few days and monitor your progress."

"What about the guy? Was he caught?" If he wasn't, as soon as I got out of here I was going to track him down and kill him.

"That I don't know. You'd have to ask the police that question when you leave."

The god awful nurse returned and I sat at attention, hopeful that she had located Bella.

"We found your girlfriend. She's just down the hall, in room 210. Dr. Snow doesn't want her to have any visitors at this time. Maybe tomorrow."

"Fuck Dr. Snow, I need to see my Bella!" I screamed in irritation and longing, and I moved more quickly to get out of bed. I don't know how I thought I could get past two people blocking the door while I was recovering from a head injury. They stopped me before I got two feet away from my bed and carried me back.

"I know you really want to see her," started the nurse, "but she needs her rest, as do you. If you want both of you to get better enough to have a future together, I suggest you stay here." She was stern and no nonsense now. Even though she was restricting me from seeing Bella, I liked that she was honest and not a sickly sweet piece of shit anymore.

"Fine," I huffed, and laid back in bed. Nurse Mary reattached my IV and told me to ring her if I needed anything. Dr. Gerandy said his goodbyes as well, and left me alone with only my thoughts and a revenge that could bring a tidal wave of hell to the world.

***

Morning. Normally I did relatively well with mornings, but since I hadn't seen Bella in almost 12 hours, and I didn't know if she was suffering, I couldn't deal with it. I had paged Nurse Mary four times this morning, each time she denied me access to Bella's room.

"You lied to me! You said I could see her today!" I screamed at her for the third time this morning.

"Please calm down. I didn't lie to you, Mr. Cullen. I said you would be able to see her today. There are still many hours left of the day. It's only morning. Please be patient. You'll be able to see her this afternoon. Dr. Snow only just told me. Would you like breakfast?"

"Sure, fine, whatever," I said. Still irritated, I ate my breakfast slowly and in a bad mood. I flipped through the basic cable I got on the TV and ended up watching some infomercials.

I kept worrying about Bella and when I was getting the opportunity to see her all through the Oxi Clean advertisement and through four cases of Judge Judy. The stupidity of the people on that show disgusted me, but as there was nothing else on television, I dealt with it, still stewing about being separated from Bella. More feelings of guilt were brought on as I thought of my injury and the several potential injuries she had sustained. With mine and her luck combined, she had way more than I did. I didn't fulfill my duty as a good and protective boyfriend. I let her out of my sight too late at night, knowing full well that there was a serial killer on the loose near Seattle, and knowing the vile kinds of people that came out at night. I was a fucking deadbeat shithead.

In the middle of my self loathing, Nurse Mary came in. "You can see her now. I'll take you there, Mr. Cullen."

My face lit up like a total buffoon, all of my teeth showing in my huge smile. "Thank you so much!"

I got out of bed and she took my hand, leading me to room 210. I was nervous to see her. What if her injuries were far more serious and devastating? I couldn't live with myself knowing that I indirectly caused them. The walk down the hall felt like a walk to my death, and it seemed to take hours and hours. We finally arrived and Mary opened the door just enough for me to slip in. She left me alone with no parting words, finally being normal for once. She really did understand, and she wasn't trying to be a bitch before. She knew that I wanted to be with Bella, and was immediately forgiven for her earlier behavior. I felt guilty for being so rude to her, and now I felt like a double jackass.

Feeling a bit chilly from the draft coming through my thin hospital robe, I shuffled in to her room like an old man. Her eyes were closed, and she looked like a sleeping angel. Her hair was a mess around her face, and there were a few bruises around her cheeks and eyes. My throat felt tight when I saw the bandages around her head and her arm in a sling. There was a long cut on her hand, and as I moved closer to her bed and sat in the chair next to it, I was able to see the cut more clearly. It had a strange moon shape. I was so angry at this man, but a little spark of hope lit in my stomach, because this person was most likely going to be tracked down because of the unique mark the object left on her hand. I stroked her hair softly, needing to touch her in any way, just to make sure she was alive and here. She must not have been sleeping very deeply, because her eyes fluttered open and they settled on mine. The two pools of chocolate brown seemed to light up when she realized I was here. She smiled as best she could with the bruises on her face, and breathed my name, extending her arms as an invitation for a hug. I obliged, breathing in the natural scent of my beautiful woman.

"Oh Bella," I whispered, "I'm so glad you're okay. I'll never forgive myself for leaving you alone like that. I'll never do it again. I'm never going to leave you." Tears spilled over and ran down my face, making this the second time I was crying in 12 hours, which is a lot for me. I held on to her with all my might, but made sure I was gentle with her fragile and aching body.

"It wasn't your fault, Edward. You couldn't have predicted what happened. Letting me go into a store by myself is hardly leaving me alone in the middle of a crime-ridden town. I don't want you to carry around this guilt with you."

My angel spoke of my innocence, but I still couldn't shake the image of myself as an accessory to a horrible crime out of my head.

"Bella, I'm such an ass. I hate myself for what happened. Can you ever forgive me? It doesn't change a thing, but I need to know if you forgive me for doing this to you; for being the cause of your pain. I failed as a boyfriend and as your protector."

"You didn't do anything," she said in exasperation. "And it kills me to see you like this. You didn't fail, and that psycho was the one that caused this pain. I can't forgive you because there's nothing to forgive. You're an amazing man, Edward Cullen, and I'm thankful that you're in my life."

I sat back in the chair and thought over her words. "I can't help feeling guilty."

Her uninjured hand moved slowly over to my right one. She placed hers atop of mine and held it, stroking my palm with her thumb, rubbing it in smooth, calming circles. "Then that's something we're going to have to work on."

In my opinion, an interesting way to end the chapter. I thought about including more Edward/Bella dialogue, but ultimately decided on this as a good end point. I hope you guys are satisfied with the chapter because I worked hard on it; it was difficult to write, and I knew you guys wouldn't want to wait forever. Reviews are the first step in relieving Edward's guilt. Send in your questions, comments, thoughts, concerns, rants, etc via reviews or PM me if you want to say some more!