Thanks again for putting up with my late posting. I know it must get tiring, but somehow you guys love me enough to keep coming back. I'm still baffled by how well this story is doing; never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that all of these people would be waiting to read something that had come out of my brain.
Special shout out to Jasmine: I would DIE without you! She really helped me with this chapter. I was confused as to how to do a lot of things, especially the characters' reactions. She basically helped write a sort of outline for the entire chapter. Thanks for letting me bounce ideas off of you; I would have never finished it without you.
To the newest readers: omfgitsajacob, keilo, DaOnLeeSam, edwardrocksmysocks, AlixxandriaBarbieDoll, Samzz, Fee273, xxladytee90xx. Thanks for taking the time to let NN into your lives. If I missed someone, review and yell at me for it.
I don't own anything except the extra strength melatonin sitting beside me.
BPOV
It was dark and ominous in the room I was laying in. There was nothing holding me down on the floor yet I felt I couldn't get up…like I wasn't allowed. I tried to take in my surroundings to figure out where I was at this point in time. I thrashed my hands around in an attempt to really feel the area around me, but there was nothing. The only thing I could feel was the absence of Edward. This feeling was so pronounced; there had to be some sort of significance to it.
There was a bang, and then a light flickered on. In front of me I saw the dirty, strange, man shooting the cashier. It happened on repeat. Over and over and over again the boy fell behind the counter to die instantly. I felt nailed to the ground, unable to help the boy who I inadvertently put in harm's way. The sketchy man picked me up by the throat and threw me against the wall. Again, this action was on repeat. The scream rippling from my throat reverberated of the walls with each thrust of his arm. The blood running across the dimly lit floor seemed to go on beyond the store this was happening in. It reached toward infinity.
"Such a shame, now I have to do it all over again…" The man's snake-like voice echoed in my ears. His crooked teeth grinned at the prospect of yet another kill.
All the while I wasn't thinking of anything. The movies lied: You don't see your life flash before your eyes, and there really aren't any last words or thoughts. I was completely empty. I stared back into the lifeless eyes of this monster as he twisted my arm and made a small cut on my palm.
Everything moved backwards and the scene played before my eyes again. The screaming was the same, the killing was the same, but the horror was even worse. The more I saw it happen, the more terrified I became.
"Bella, do you hear me?"
My body was thrust away from the evil man and back into my hospital bed. I might have been away from the nightmare, but that didn't stop the screaming. I looked around feverishly for Edward but only saw a team of nurses trying to tie me down to my bed. Edward pushed to the front of them all. He looked scared and worried, and began yelling at the nurses.
"Can't you see she's scared and in pain? Do something! Look at her; I can't bare to fucking see this! Bella, baby, please, don't be scared. I'm here, my love, I'm here!" He was screaming almost as loud as I was.
A dark haired nurse pulled out a syringe and prepped it for something.
"What are you doing?" Edward yelled. "You're going to sedate her? She's not a mental patient! She just needs some calming down!"
"Sir, you need to step aside. We need to get her to relax!" Amidst Edward's profanities, my screams and thrashings, and the nurses' attempts to get me out of my episode, the dark haired nurse injected my IV with the sedative. My screams eventually slowed to a light babbling. I felt Edward's cool, strong, hand on mine before I slipped into a dreamless sleep.
***
My eyes opened to a very tired and distraught looking Edward. His brow was furrowed and he seemed like he was contemplating something important. His hand was in the same position as it was before I was sedated. I wondered if he had even let go. When he realized I was awake, his face immediately lit up and smiled at me, though he still looked tired in the eyes.
"Bella," he said, as if he had been holding his breath this whole time. "How are you feeling?"
"Better. No nightmares this time," I responded. "How long have I been out?" The blinds were shut and I had no conception of time. My neck hurt too much to turn and look at the clock on the end table next to me.
"You've been asleep for about 12 hours."
"12 hours?!" Holy crap that was a long time. "Please tell me you haven't been here all this time…" I groaned out loud and internally as well. I'd feel so guilty.
"Sorry, Bella, baby. I wouldn't leave your side. Except to pee, of course."
"Ugh. Well I'm glad you at least took care of yourself while I was lying here, useless."
"You've been through something very traumatic, Bella. You're not useless. You just need some rest to get yourself back on your feet. Which leads me to a bit of a proposition…"
What was he proposing? PROPOSING?!! Chill out, Bella. If you start using that word you're going to drive yourself nuts.
"Go on…" I prompted him.
"I think you should stay at my place for a while. You went through a lot, and it would kill me if you were alone for even a minute. I don't think I could bear to leave you out of my sight." His last sentence he choked on a little bit. I knew he blamed himself for what happened, but I couldn't let him shoulder that around. Besides, I didn't need to be babysat.
"I appreciate the gesture, but I don't need help. I can do things on my own. Ah, shit. I gotta pee." I started to get out of the bed, but I was sore and the sling restricted my movement. I struggled to move, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward stifling a laugh. His smile was strained to stay shut.
"So…you can do things on your own, can you?" He smirked at me, already aware that he had won.
I rolled my eyes and huffed. "Yeah, whatever. Are you going to help me up or are you going to let me pee the bed?"
Apparently that visual was too much for him, because he began laughing hysterically as he helped me out of the scratchy hospital bed and into the bathroom.
It took us a while before the nurse allowed Edward and me to leave. We were discharged but had to fill out all the necessary paperwork. I was told all that I was supposed to do, including how to shower, when to come in for a follow up, to call if I had any issues, and was given the number for a psychiatrist. Yeah, like I was going to need that number at all. Finally, after all the paperwork was filled out, Edward called a cab for us. The Volvo was part of evidence, so he wouldn't be getting it back yet.
The ride home was spent by Edward stealing quick glances at me. He said it was to make sure I was alright, and that was sweet, but I didn't need him watching over me like I was going to break if left alone for three seconds. I didn't get angry with him, though, and politely let him know that there was nothing wrong with me.
We were dropped off at our building and were greeted by some very distraught looking individuals. Alice, Angela, Ben, and Jasper were propped up against my truck. Apparently they had heard what happened, and I was afraid that Alice would kick my butt for not calling her. I looked up at Edward and grimaced. He held my hand tight, understanding my apprehension.
"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!" Alice's tiny voice boomed. She ran to me and squeezed my guts out…almost. "Are you okay? Holy shit you could have died. Why the hell didn't you call me?" All of this was screamed in a matter of milliseconds.
Angela followed suit. "We called you a bunch of times, and then we saw the story in the newspaper. We called the hospital but they said you left." There were tears in her eyes as I sensed the fear they both felt at not knowing what had happened to me. I hugged them both, not wanting to let go. Edward stood in the background, letting me be close to my friends.
Jasper and Ben tried to pull their girlfriends away, and were almost unsuccessful. They finally got to me and both expressed their worry and relief that I was okay. I hugged them both, happy that they were there.
"Jazz, Ben, Angela. This is my boyfriend, Edward. He's been so supportive in the hospital…I owe him my sanity."
"Hello. It's nice to meet you all. Good to see you again, Alice." Edward was the perfect gentleman. "I know you're all concerned about Bella, but I really think she should go upstairs and get some rest. She's been through a terrible ordeal."
"I agree, Edward," Alice began, "but I'm not leaving Bella's side all day. I need to be with my best friend."
Uh oh.
"Understandable," said Edward. "Shall we?" He motioned for us to go inside.
"Ben and I have to get to work, but we'll leave the one car for Angela and Alice to get home in." Jasper and Ben kissed their girls goodbye, nodded to Edward and gave me a hug.
We all went upstairs to Edward's place and I collapsed on the couch. Alice went to get some of my things (I told her I would be staying with Edward for a while) and Angela sat down next to me, holding my hand as I rested my head on her shoulder.
"Bella, I'm going to take a shower real quick. Are you okay with that? Will you be alright?"
"Of course I'll be fine, Edward. Angela's here with me, and Alice will only be across the hall for a few minutes. Go take your shower; you must be dying for one." He really didn't need to be this protective of me. I had two people with me, and I didn't even need that many.
"If you're sure," he said, and placed a light kiss on my forehead before walking towards the back of the apartment to the bathroom.
"He seems wonderful, Bella. And so handsome. He's exactly how you described him."
"I know. He's great, Ang. But I think he may be taking this 'protecting me' thing too far. Don't you?" I wanted to hear another person's point of view, and I knew Alice would say something too extreme to take as a real opinion.
"You have to see it from his perspective, Bella." She shifted her body to look at me. "He almost lost you, and he obviously felt helpless to aid you. It's a man thing. You know what? I bet he's feeling really guilty about it, too. You have to let him protect you, because he'll never forgive himself if he doesn't try."
Her words made all the sense in the world. I understood a little better now why he was doing what he was doing. It was easier to comprehend with someone else explaining it to me. Edward was my boyfriend, and the only way he could feel adequate was by pleasing me and protecting me. He already did the former very well, but he must be questioning the latter. He's probably in more emotional pain than I am…
"Thank you, Angela."
We laid there a while until Edward came out of the shower, his messy hair wet and all over the place. He kissed my cheek when the phone rang.
"I have a feeling it's my parents," Edward said, clearly a bit irritated.
"You better answer it then."
He went to answer the phone and Alice came through the door with some essentials from my apartment. She sat down with me and not-so-subtly asked for the details as to what happened.
"Alice, I don't think she's ready to talk about it," Angela said, thinking of my well-being.
"No, it's alright," I said. There was nothing wrong with me.
I went on to describe how I really wanted a muffin, and went into the Dunkin' Donuts down the street. I told them about the dirty looking man and how he shot the cashier in cold blood. I glossed over the details about what was done to me, and then told them how I blacked out until I got to the hospital. Speaking about the incident was weird for me. Edward and I hadn't talked about it, and I didn't give the nurses the story in its entirety. I told them the bare bones facts that were essential to them. I found that I couldn't describe to them the fear or the nothingness that I had experienced in the Dunkin' Donuts. I got a little choked up and the girls decided that I had enough explaining, and Angela and Alice ushered me in the direction of the shower.
"I can shower by myself, guys. Really."
"Nonsense," Alice said as she stripped me down.
"ALICE!"
"So what? I've seen you naked before. Besides, you need help showering. It's no big deal."
I rolled my eyes as Alice helped me in the shower and turned the water on. Angela held the arm that was in a cast out of the shower so it wouldn't get wet while Alice assisted with washing my hair. I insisted that I be able to wash my body myself, and Alice didn't argue since she saw the look in my eyes.
One awkward shower and the most difficult time getting clothes on later, I finally felt clean and relaxed…sort of. I laid myself back on the couch and turned on the news. I wanted to know what was going on in the world of FOX, CBS, NBC, etc. What were they saying about the incident? Was my name revealed? Had they caught the bastard?
Alice and Angela sat next to me, side by side, and Edward came back into the living room area with a pained expression on his face and the phone hanging limply in his fingers.
"My parents are coming here. They saw it on the news and panicked. They're about 30 minutes away." He looked apologetic.
"They're worried about you, Edward. I can understand that."
He kneeled next to me and took my hands in his. His green eyes stared into mine, as he said, "They're also concerned about you."
"Esme and Carlisle are so kind. It will be nice to see them." All these visitors? My head was starting to spin at the idea.
"Speaking of parents," said Angela, "I'm surprised that Charlie and Renee haven't - "
And, as if on cue, my cell phone rang. Charlie.
"Shit, it's my dad. I'm surprised the whole police force isn't already at my door."
"You better answer it, Bella." All three of them said this at the same time.
"I know, I know…" I pressed the 'send' button and meekly answered, "Hello?"
"Bella, are you okay? Damnit, why didn't you call me? I've been worried sick; I've been trying to call you all day! I read in the newspaper what happened! I am so close to coming down there."
"Dad, I'm fine. Edward has been really good to me; his parents are actually on their way. Alice and Angela are here with me, too. I'm sorry I didn't call you, I was a bit preoccupied."
"Who the hell is Edward? Is he some boy? Did he get you into this mess?"
Fuck. I hadn't told him about Edward yet.
"He's my boyfriend, Dad. And no, he's not responsible for what happened. He's actually feeling pretty guilty right now. He won't let me out of his sight now. I'm staying with him for a few days until I can function on my own."
"I don't like the sound of him." Charlie sounded gruff, but it was weird him playing the dad. He never did it much anyway, but even now that I was 25 it was ten times weirder. My phone beeped and I saw it was Renee.
"Look, Dad, I promise you'll meet him. But mom is calling me and she'll kick my butt if I don't answer. I'll talk to you later."
I switched over to the other line, hesitantly.
"ISABELLA! Oh, my baby, Phil and I are so worried!"
Basically the entire conversation went like the one with Alice. It was the same old nonsense of being worried, which is understandable, but it was annoying to hear it over and over again.
By the time I had finally convinced Renee to stay in Portland and to get off the phone, Edward's parents had arrived. Esme immediately ran over to me and embraced me like her own. She fussed over my injuries, and expressed her concern for me. Carlisle followed her lead and did the same. They were such incredible people. I was lucky that my boyfriend's parents didn't suck.
"Edward has been amazing through this whole thing. I don't know what I would do without him," I told his parents.
I felt like the entire time everyone was there I didn't get to be with Edward at all. His parents were fussing over him and Alice and Angela were guarding me with their life. It was really annoying because for the moment, all I wanted to do was to be with Edward. I wanted to hold him and lay on the couch together, just us, calmly. I got this weird vibe that Alice almost blamed Edward for the attack, which was totally absurd. Was she trying to protect me from him? Was she guarding me from Edward because she felt that he couldn't take care of me? This was far from the truth.
We finally convinced Esme and Carlisle to get some sleep at a hotel near by, but they promised to stop by in the morning before they headed home to Tacoma. As they were on their way out, Emmett and Rosalie were on their way in.
"Big bro! What the fuck, dude? You got attacked by the Ohio serial killer!"
Rosalie slapped him across the face. "YOU HAVE NO TACT!"
"What??" I was so confused. That James guy was the one who attacked us? But how? I mean, I knew he was close, but I never could fathom that he would ever cross my path. Rose sat by my side, introduced herself to my friends, then asked if I was alright and hugged me tightly.
"I…I just…can't…believe that…it was…him." It was difficult to get out.
"Bells! I'm glad you didn't die. You'd make a great sister-in-law, dude."
Edward looked furious and just snapped. "Everyone out! You're all surrounding and stifling her, but you're not allowing her to truly relax! Emmett, you're a moron. Rosalie, Mom, Dad, you can call me in the morning, but I can't guarantee you're coming over tomorrow. Alice and Angela…I know it's not my place to say anything to you two, and you've been great all day, but - "
"You are NOT kicking me out. You couldn't even protect her, and you were RIGHT THERE! Bella needs me." Alice was booming.
"Alice…" Angela tried to calm her down.
Edward hung his head low. "I deserve that."
"No you don't!" I spoke up for the first time all day. "Edward is the reason I'm not locked up somewhere right now. He's trying his god damn hardest, Alice, and I won't have you speak to him like that. I love you, you know I do, but he's right. I need rest. You don't have to stay here." I looked directly into her eyes to let her know I meant business. The entire room was silent, and I was almost positive everyone's mouths were all agape. I had really shut the room up, but I felt bad for yelling at Alice. But she screamed at my boyfriend, and unnecessarily.
"I'm sorry, Bella." She hugged me and got up to leave. Angela followed her out and waved to me quickly. I saw Rosalie warn Emmett not to say anything, and they said their goodbyes and exited the apartment. Esme approached me, and said, "Call me if you need anything." Finally it was just Edward and me.
He sat beside me and took me in his strong arms. It felt so nice to have him there with me. I had almost forgotten what it was like. It had been too long since we had been in this position, and I was absolutely exhausted from the day's events. I thought about the way I had spoken to Alice and my sobs came out like silent pain.
Edward stroked the top of my head in an attempt to get me to relax and calm down.
"I'm sorry about today. And I'm sorry for flipping out. But no one would leave you alone."
"That's fine. I needed some god damn space! But Alice…"
"You did what you had to do."
"I hated the way she yelled at you like that." I lifted my head to look at him. "How fucking dare she? All you have done is kept a close watch on me – you've been taking care of me since we were both in the hospital! The fucking nerve of her…"
"I deserve it, Bella. Everything she said is true. I failed you. How can you ever forgive me?" His brow was furrowed, his eyes tearing up, and his flawless lips pulled into a slight frown. He looked down quickly at his fingers, twirling the index ones around and around each other, clearly unsure and ashamed.
"I won't let you feel guilty again!" I put all conviction in my voice and eyes so I would get the message across. "You're amazing. Don't listen to her."
Edward didn't respond, but he didn't argue either. I knew it was going to take some time for him to be able to get over what happened, and it would for me as well, though in a different way. I would do everything in my power to make him feel less guilty, and if that meant allowing him to take care of me like an invalid child…well, so be it.
We were wrapped around each other on the couch for a while, feeling the rhythmic breathing of the other, letting the feel of our heartbeats in synch calm us down. Of course my hungry stomach sent an interrupting growl into the airwaves, and Edward chuckled.
"Looks like it's time to feed you." His tone was light, though there was a sense of guilt in his eyes again, like it was his fault for not getting me food already.
"What would you like to eat, Bella?" he asked me.
"It really doesn't matter. What do you want to eat?" I retorted.
"I believe the question, Miss Swan, was directed towards you. I will order what you would like to have."
"But I don't have a preference, Mr. Cullen. Anything that you are hungry for, I am hungry for."
This felt good. Really good. Like the back and forth that used to happen before he'd go to work and leave me in his apartment, or the time in the grocery store, when he was so confused about all the kinds of wheat bread. It felt like nothing bad had happened in the universe, and we were just a couple of young, indecisive kids. I tried not to dwell on the fact that this wasn't true…that something had gone wrong, and I had been sensing it for a while. The near perfection was shattered when that man decided to walk into that Dunkin' Donuts. Or was it my own decision? This sort of thinking hurt my brain, and I decided it was not the time for it.
"Bella? You still there?" Edward asked, looking down at me, concerned.
"Sorry, I just…got caught up in my thoughts, that's all."
His facial expression was skewed and twisted in disbelief and concern. I must have looked pretty upset, and I cursed myself for being such an open book; for being so easy to read.
"How about we order a pizza?" I asked, trying to steer his attention elsewhere. "And we can put in a movie. A comedy would be best, I think."
"Sure thing, sweet Bella. I'll order the pizza. Toppings?"
"Hmm…half pepperoni, half plain."
"You got it," he said, and walked over into the kitchen to phone the pizza place. As he was doing that, I stood up and walked over to a cabinet next to the TV. I opened it and searched through the DVDs that were there. He had a wide variety of movies, and I really couldn't pick. I decided on The Cable Guy, an amazing dark comedy that got panned commercially, starring Jim Carrey and Matthew Broderick. It was one of my favorites. I put it in the DVD player and walked back over to the couch where Edward was now sitting. I curled myself up to him and he covered me with a blanket his grandmother had knitted him for his 1st birthday.
The movie came on, and he raised an eyebrow. "Your taste in comedy is a bit dark."
"It was in your cabinet."
"Yeah, but I hardly watch any of those things. They're mostly for show. Emmett thought I needed some…what was the word? Ah. 'Normalcy.' He thinks I'm a hermit."
"It's sort of true, though. Trust me, this is a good movie."
He nodded and we watched the first 20 minutes when the doorbell rang. I jumped at the sound, scared by its abruptness.
"Bella," Edward said, concern floating in his eyes, "it's just the pizza guy. He's right on time. Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. It just startled me, is all."
"Okay…" He paid for the pizza quickly and was at my side in less than a minute. Clearly he was worried, which he didn't need to be.
The rest of the movie was spent eating pizza straight out of the box (something I only ever saw on television) and basking in the amazingness that is The Cable Guy. I could tell that Edward wasn't quite sure about what he was watching. Most people weren't. They just didn't get it. Mostly Edward would be looking at me very quickly. For what reason, I have no idea. Possibly to make sure I hadn't fallen apart in a million pieces. Absurd.
He wrapped his arms tightly around me, holding me and protecting me from whatever demons he felt were present.
The ending is sort of…I don't even know. My tummy feels a little weird with the place E and B are at now. There are some unresolved issues, unvisited demons, and confused emotions swirling around that apartment, and it's driving me nuts.
Just a little sidebar: The Cable Guy is actually one of my favorite movies. My comments about it come from the heart, even the one about most people not understanding it. I have also never eaten pizza out of the box; I just see it on TV.
Please review. They make me so happy, it's insane. You guys are really really really important. Don't ever forget that. You too, Alex! And remember: Reviews help soothe the sting Edward feels as a result of Alice's comments :(