To Jazz! To the readers, old and new! To Harry Potter! Errr...what? Apparently I'm a drunk Hagrid/Slughorn.

I don't own anything.

BPOV

More days passed like this. We worked on our relationship, Edward took care of me but always gave me room to take care of myself, and every day would end with him suggesting I go see a shrink. Every day that comment came without fail. I don't think he realized how much it irritated me until I told him where he and the shrink could go and locked myself in the bathroom for an hour. I knew I was being silly and immature and irrational, but I couldn't help myself. I tried to be adult in dealing with the consequences of the attack every day…why couldn't I be fed up and think the situation unfair? I had more than earned a temper tantrum.

Since that incident Edward hasn't said a word about the psychologist thing. I'm almost positive he's a bit frightened of me.

I started making the meals each day so as not to get out of touch with my cooking skills while I was away from work. I didn't want to come back and get fired immediately for preparing a horrible meal. I was happy Edward didn't complain about letting me take over in the kitchen and making him give up his protective duties. Although, this started after the bathroom incident, so maybe he shut up in fear of another return of my three-year-old self. In any case, I was again getting used to cooking. It's not like I forgot, because it's not something you can forget after a month, but I was a bit rusty.

I knew Mr. Banner was starting to get irritated that his sous chef was gone and the terrible temp, Jared, was burning each dish he made. So I called on Saturday to let him know that I would be returning on Tuesday.

"About time," was the gruff response, followed by a click on the other end of the line.

Edward, of course, asked me a series of unnecessary questions to ensure that I was fit for work.

"How is your arm? Do you have full mobility yet?"

"Yes, Edward. See?" I flailed my bad arm around and around in circles just to show him that there was nothing to worry about. His eyes widened and gasped in protest.

"Be careful! You can't be too sure of the strength of your arm yet…" He held my hand in his, lightly stroking my arm and shoulder.

"Oh, so you're a doctor now, are you?" I teased.

"It's common sense, Bella. Besides, my father taught me a few things so I could get by on my own."

The question and answer session continued for almost two hours; most of the time was spent with me arguing that I was fine, and he insisting that I stay home for another week.

"I don't want to lose my job! Besides, I'm going stir crazy here, just sitting around your apartment all day."

"I'm sure Mr. Banner would understand. Maybe if I talked to him…"

"No," I cut him off. "That will not be necessary." I moved over to the kitchen to make us lunch – grilled cheese.

I was in the process of greasing the pan on the stove when he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his face in the crook of my neck, breathing in the scent of my cucumber melon body wash and peppering kisses wherever his lips would land. It felt wonderful to have this intimacy again, just a boyfriend and a girlfriend about to enjoy a normal and delicious lunch together. His hands moved over my hips and across my flat stomach, back and forth, over and over again.

"If you want your food, you better quit distracting me," I said playfully. Normally this would have resulted in a quick relocation to the table top with Edward hovering over me. But this time he just walked away and sat at the kitchen table, as if I was angry or completely serious! I wanted to have a talk with him, but I was way too tired for that today.

We sat across from each other at the cold, wooden table and ate our lunch in silence.

The next day was terribly boring. Edward was called into work because of some emergency ad campaign that needed to be pitched. In return, he would get Monday off because he would have to work Sunday. The ad stuff was all a bunch of gibberish to me, and though he was reluctant to leave, I insisted that he rid himself of all hesitancy and guilt and do what he did best. I spent the day cleaning and trying out new recipes, which Edward thoroughly enjoyed when he got home around dinnertime. It was light and sweet, almost like before, except we would have thrown ourselves into some wild, passionate sex after eating. This time, we had nice talk and a sweet cuddle.

Monday there was a horror movie marathon on TV, and I decided since I wouldn't be getting the chance to do this anytime soon because of work, I asked Edward if he would like to participate. He jumped at the offer, obviously because I wanted to do it, and we sat comfortably together on the couch with food ordered from Panera. During a quick break between Hellraiser I and Hellraiser II, I nestled myself in Edward's lap, snuggling until the next movie came on.

"I should probably move my stuff back into my apartment."

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because Edward nearly choked on his sandwich, his eyes wide and horrified.

"Why? What do you mean?" His cool and calm demeanor was slipping.

"Well, now that I'm getting back to work and pretty much all healed, I don't need to be mooching off of you anymore." It was all perfectly logical in my head. Not so much in his, it would seem.

"Well, I just figured that you would stay." He was clearly disappointed. "It's a step, I know, but it seems to have worked this past month."

"Edward," I began, "you let me crash at your place because I wasn't fit to be by myself after what happened. But that doesn't constitute as me 'moving in.' I don't think we're ready for that, yet. I don't want us moving in prematurely, or living together as a result of an unfortunate happenstance. When the time is right, and when we're strong enough, I would love to live with you."

I chose my words carefully so he didn't think that I didn't want to be with him, because that was so the opposite of how I felt. He needed to know that just staying living together without discussing it, without being ready, could potentially be fatal to our relationship. I communicated all of this to him, and we ended up having a conversation during the whole of Hellraiser II.

"If that's how you feel, Bella," was his somber reply. His green eyes looked tired and let-down, his messy hair seemed limp, his face long. I could tell that he was definitely not expecting my response, and that he really wanted me to stay.

"This is not me telling you I don't want you. This is me putting the brakes on a little bit so we don't get ahead of ourselves and damage what we have. We still need to work back to the way we were."

"Are we really that damaged, Bella?"

"No, we're not. But what happened will harm any kind of relationship and any kind of personality. We used to be fun and horny, now we're careful and solemn. When we work back to that and both feel that we're ready, I would want nothing more than to move in with you."

He stared at his worried hands. "I'm ready," he mumbled.

"But I'm not. And I know that sounds terribly selfish, but we are two halves of a bigger picture, here. If one half isn't there, the portrait won't work."

There was a pause. We sat in silence for a few minutes. His position held for so long and with such discipline, you'd think he was a statue. It was uneasy for me to see him like this.

"Edward?" I asked timidly.

"It's fine," he assured me, but I wasn't convinced.

"I'm sorry if I'm hurting you, but I think it's better that I express how I'm feeling now, rather than three months from now when I'm feeling even more uncomfortable."

"I said it's fine, Bella." He picked up the remote to continue with the movies. He didn't want to talk about it anymore, and I didn't want to fight.

I stared at the screen, but in no way was I actually paying attention. I couldn't even tell you what movie was playing, what genre, or what happened. I completely zoned out. Edward's eyes remained cold, vulnerable, and sad. I wished I could make myself feel differently about the living situation, but I couldn't. After the movie I moved my few things back into my apartment. We didn't speak to each other the whole time, and the only words said were "good night" before we went our separate ways to our separate beds in our separate apartments. Did this cause more of a rift than moving in together would have? I couldn't help but think that maybe I had caused more trouble and more heartbreak than if I had just stayed.

My apartment felt empty and cold. It had been a month since I had been in this place, and I had almost forgotten what it looked like. It was dark, dusty, and lonely. It was going to be weird, living on my own again. I knew I would see and be with Edward often, but the prospect of being here alone made me feel sad and isolated. I shook my head and pushed away all thoughts of potential regret. I made the right choice.

That night I had a dream. I was in the middle of the dark ocean. The waves were fierce and the tide was strong. I was whipped around roughly by the sea and I saw a light far off into the distance. It was faint, but it was there. For some reason I couldn't relate to the light. I didn't understand what it meant, and I didn't understand why it was there. After I woke up from the dream I was angry with myself for not swimming towards it and for not realizing that the light would equate to safety and survival. What the hell? Why didn't I figure that out in the dream?

Needless to say I didn't get much sleep, so I was exhausted for my first day back to work as I quickly made some toast and drove to buy some coffee. I passed the Dunkin' Donuts and got a horrible feeling in my chest…I went to Starbuck's instead.

I was met at work with a "Welcome Back, Bella" poster, a reluctant Jacob and a sullen temp sulking in the corner.

"Good to have you back," Garrett said as he gave me a huge bear hug. Even the wait staff was back at the kitchens welcoming me. They all greeted me warmly, asked how I was doing, and seem genuinely glad that I was working again. I assured them that I was fine and fit for work, and they nodded and left, getting ready for the opening of the restaurant.

"Yeah, yeah," I heard a booming voice call from the other side of the room. "It's great that Bella's back. But we have food to make, so let's get on it!" Mr. Banner was never an emotional or sentimental man. I was just glad he wasn't angry with me.

It was awkward to see Jacob standing there, more sheepish and shy than he normally was. It was just me and him because Garrett went to the freezer and Jared had left as soon as I arrived. We hadn't really spoken since the incident at Edward's office party except to ask for ingredients or to consult about a certain order made by a customer. We both stood there, miles apart, one hand gripping our wrists and our eyes glued to the floor. Jacob looked up briefly.

"Glad you're back," was all he said. I nodded, and we put our aprons on and got to work.

The day passed slowly, especially since we didn't have many customers. It was even worse because I couldn't text Edward to pass the time. I could, but I didn't know what to say, and we hadn't been in the flirtiest mood lately. It would be out of character and just strange to send him a text with a winky face next to it.

I left the restaurant at nine and drove the truck home in silence. Lately music held no appeal to me.

I arrived at my apartment to find Edward waiting for me. My heart leapt until I saw his face: Still sullen. There was a crease in his forehead, his eyebrows clenched together. His lips were poutier than usual and he seemed troubled. I put on a brave face and walked up to him.

"Hi," I said.

"Hello," was his reply.

Neither of us said anything for a few minutes.

"Would you like to…come over?" he asked. It was like we had just started dating. Like we had never done this before and he was unsure of my answer. He seemed as if he felt he was overstepping a boundary or something. I didn't like it.

"Of course." In those two words I tried to relay how silly he was being. Of course I would want to come over, and there was no reason why I wouldn't want to.

His eyes lit up momentarily as he took my hand and lead me through his door.

It was an awkward and unsure night at first, but we finally got back in the groove of enjoying each other's company. We ate a late night snack of chips and dip and scanned the TV for random Asian game shows. We laughed at the commentary and tasks on MXC and even joked around. We were two teenagers spending a night together goofing off, so innocent and so carefree. That was just the surface. Our core was made of the burden of our mid-twenties and the life that James Campbell stole from us. Edward interrupted my thoughts with a question.

"What's the real reason you don't want to move in with me?"

I nearly choked on a chip. I didn't quite get it; I had told him the reason last night. Did he not believe me?

"I told you. I'm not ready, and I think we're too unstable at the moment to be living together. We shouldn't make this sort of decision because the situation left us in a vulnerable state."

"But, Bella, I'm so sure of us. Honest, I am. There's no doubt in my mind that I want to be with you, and keep moving our relationship further."

"I'm not strong enough. We're not strong enough."

"Do you doubt our staying power?"

I looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You don't think we'll last, do you? That's what this is all about."

The words didn't make sense at first, and I went to protest, but stopped myself. I thought about it for a bit. Is that really how he saw it? And did I actually feel this way? Hadn't I been worried that this relationship was too good to be true? My head started spinning and I was vaguely aware of Edward's voice saying something.

"I'll take that silence as a yes."

His head hung low and I could see he had reverted back into the despair again.

"No. That is not it, and don't you dare make it that way." I was getting angry now. "Can't I be a bit vulnerable? Can I just not be ready for something? Jesus, Edward, I've been through a lot, and I know you have too, but it doesn't feel right. I think you're being just a little selfish here, which is so weird for me to understand, because you're always the most unselfish person in the world. Please don't read more into it and just understand that I can't do it right now. I just can't."

The place from which this speech came from completely wiped me out; I was totally exhausted. I nearly fell asleep on the spot even though I was so worked up.

"You're right, and I apologize. Can you forgive me?" Edward, always the gentleman, had surrendered. I knew he was still hurt, but I knew that this time he had finally heard me.

As expected, work was a bore again. There weren't that many customers so I had a lot of time on my hands. I knew Edward was having a busy week at work so I didn't bother him with a call or a text. Halfway into my shift I got a text message from Edward.

Bella,

Leave work. I already took care of Mr. Banner, so he knows you have to go.

Come home, get dressed, and wait for me in the hallway.

See you soon,

Edward

His message came completely out of the blue and I was thoroughly perplexed. What the hell was this about? Where the hell were we going? I had no idea, and I stood there staring at my phone for quite some time. I heard Mr. Banner come back to the kitchen and scold me.

"What are you still doing here, Swan?" Edward really had talked to him. I didn't stick around to ask why I had to leave, who he spoke to, and what it was about, but just left quickly without speaking to anyone. I went through a wave of different emotions on the car ride home. I was nervous, excited, scared, and anxious. I couldn't think of anything that might warrant me coming home early from work. My truck groaned in protest as I hit the gas a little harder to get to my apartment faster. After a horrible park job and the longest elevator ride ever, I arrived at my door to see a note posted on it.

Wear something nice.

And that's all it said.

What the fuck? Where were we going? I shoved my keys in the lock and ran into my room, looking for the perfect "nice" outfit. I threaded my hands through my hair, grabbing and pulling in nervousness. For some reason this felt extremely important. Alice will know what to wear. I'll just call…oh. I forgot we hadn't spoken in a month. And I couldn't just call her up and say 'Yeah, all that stuff that happened, whatever. Now what should I wear for my mystery excursion with my boyfriend?' It was completely absurd.

I hung my head low for a minute, staring at the cell phone I couldn't use to call my best friend. I would have to make up with her another day. Right now, I needed to find some decent clothes.

I scanned my closet for anything that looked nice. The colors passed me by; blue, green, red, purple, all a blur of cloth. I found two dresses that I was debating on…a dark purple one-shoulder dress and a more casual blue spaghetti strap one. I decided that I was wasting time just standing there with the two pieces of clothing and sent him a picture of the blue one with the message, 'This okay?'

The text back came two minutes later and read, 'Dressier.' I opted for the purple one. (A/N: Picture of purple dress in profile)

Time was not on my side, so I quickly took my hair out of its ponytail and fluffed it up with my hands and threw on a pair of black peep toe heels Alice bought me for Christmas last year. I put some mascara and eyeliner on, along with a neutral shade of lip gloss. The purse I never used was hanging on my bed post, and I put my cell phone, keys, and wallet in it and ran out the door, bumping into Edward with a thud.

"Oops," I said. "Sorry." He was wearing black dress pants, a white collared shirt and a suit jacket. As put together as he seemed, his hair remained in that sexy disarray. I looked up at him, trying desperately to read his expression. He seemed amused and…entranced?

"It's quite alright," he chuckled. "I've missed your clumsy side." I saw him look me up and down, surveying my outfit.

"Is the dress okay?" I asked, hoping I was dressed properly for whatever this occasion would be.

He chuckled again. "Okay? Bella, you look nothing less than exquisite. You're perfect." The blush crept to my cheeks yet again, and he lifted my chin up to be level with him. "It's been a while since you've blushed. I've missed that."

It seemed like we were both reminiscing about the beginning of our relationship, even though it hadn't been that long ago. What accelerated the decline towards boredom was the unfortunate circumstance of a psycho serial killer. I'm sure if that never had happened, we'd still be in the horny and fun new-relationship phase.

"I've been thinking a lot about our first weeks together, and I realize now how much we've changed, and not for the better. It's not our faults, but we have the ability to fix the course we seem to be on. I want to keep you for as long as possible, and I want to show you how much you mean to me. I want to go back to the way things were." Edward's fingers ran through his hair during his entire speech, and it was obvious he was extremely nervous. I grabbed his hand and took it in mine. Staring deep into his emerald green eyes, I conveyed everything I felt about him in a single look, mostly because I had no words.

He smiled crookedly. He held his arm out for me to grab, and said, "Shall we?" I obliged, still unsure of where the night was headed.

I do this all the time, but I was actually going to have this chapter longer, but I wrote the last line and thought it would be a great place to stop! Muahah cliffie! Plus I don't know where these two are going =\

Suggestions for the special occasions? Comments on the chapter and the overall story? Please review! I love you guys.