The Derp stared resolutely at the approaching horde. The zombies were everywhere. As the four new friends exited Hypixel High, they saw the same scene. It almost seemed hopeless, until a bright read flare flew up in the distance.
"I know that place," HeadScientist spoke to his right. "That's where the town hall was. There's a helipad on the roof. I bet on of the other survivors has called for help."
"That's great!" Arbiter 617 exclaimed. "If they called a helicopter, that'll be our ticket out."
"All we have to do is get through this mob," Snuggle said to his left. She bore a confident grin.
The undead horde had noticed the quartet by this time and begun charging. The four readied their weapons, the Derp himself wielding his shotgun and fish. He held the aquatic animal especially tight. They had been together for many years and were truly inseparable.
As the first zombie was only a foot away, the Derp fired a shotgun blast directly into its face. Arbiter fired two shots from his handguns while HeadScientist threw his axe through a line of undead over to Snuggle. The lady used it to block a zombie and fired her gun into its head before throwing the axe back.
Like this the four of them pushed through the undead army. Slicing and shooting and hacking their way though the streets. But the horde never let up, the zombies seemingly limitless. Machine gun fire rang out in the distance, other survivors heading for salvation.
As the Derp vaulted over a fence, he saw Arbiter 617 grabbed by one of the zombies. Thinking fast, he grabbed his fish and chucked it directly at the undead. The disorientation of being smacked with cod dislodged the green fiend, Arbiter getting away with a shout of "Thanks!"
With his friend rescued, the Derp marched over to his fallen fish, the others chopping through zombies in the background. Finally, he bent down to retrieve his oldest ally. Just as he picked up the slimy vertebrate, a rapid series of footsteps rang out behind him. Expecting to see one of his new friends, he only just managed to see a zombie sprinting straight for him! It struck before the Derp could react, a long claw raking across his arm. The Derp fell over, knocked down by the unexpected attack. Snuggle heard the strike and fired a round, killing the zombie before it could do further harm.
Arbiter looked over with a muttered "Oh no," under his breath. He walked over to where the Derp's body lay. The player was flat on his back, eyes shut. Arbiter moved to help his friend up, but HeadScientist held him back.
"That zombie stuck him with his claws, he might be infected." His tone was stern.
Arbiter looked aghast. "We can't just leave him!"
Head's grip tightened and he shook his head at Arbiter. "What we can't do is potentially die because we got too cozy with someone we met half an hour ago." He looked over to the town hall. "We only have a mile to go, we need to get there before that helicopter arrives or we'll be stranded."
Arbiter relented, despair written over his face. He turned around, though not before giving a small prayer to the Derp. "I'm sorry, my friend. Please forgive me, wherever you go."
"He was ugly anyways," Snuggle interjected.
Five seconds later*
The Derp awoke from his shock. He quickly sat up and took in the scene. There was no one around, only the empty sound of the wind. The Derp's brow creased. Where did everyone go?
A soft flopping sound to his let caught his attention. He turned to behold his fish. His eyes widened as he saw three jagged lines drawn across the fish's side. Tears began to stream down his face as he beheld his dying ally, softly picking up the aquatic animal. This fish had been with him for five years. Five years of build battle, spleef, and fish slaps. And now it would die in this infernal apocalypse.
With a final twitch, the cod died in his arms. The Derp's heart shattered into a thousand pieces as he let out a tortured cry into the air. He couldn't begin to keep all the pain inside him anymore.
In the distance, Snuggle perked up. "You guys hear something?"
HeadScientist didn't even look back. "Probably some survivor getting munched on. Don't slow down, we need to keep moving."
The pain didn't fade from the Derp's soul, though a new feeling began to join it. Rage. "They betrayed me. If they did their jobs and took out all the zombies, then fish wouldn't have died. Then they have the gall to leave me here…"
The Derp stood up, a look of hatred coming over him. "How dare they! I'll show them why they shouldn't have messed with me!" Shaking with fury, he grabbed his shotgun and marched off towards the town hall.
Though he knew he had to get some new gear if he wanted to really show them their mistake. A side tour into some abandoned buildings netted him some black leather armor. Yes, black, just like his soul.
Now kitted out in proper gear, the Derp walked off to bring the pain to his so-called friends.
Finally, fully decked out and armed, the Derp entered the town hall. Walking through the hallways, he found HeadScientist's axe laying on the ground. "They were being overrun. Heh, shows them right." Kicking the implement to the side, he continued on his march to the roof.
After finishing his climb up the stairs, the Derp came across the door to the pad. He could hear fighting beyond it, shouts and screams and gunshots. He smirked to himself, looks like they were in trouble. What a perfect time for him to make his appearance.
The Derp kicked open the door, grabbing the attention of everyone on the pad. HeadScientist, Arbiter 617, and Snuggle were all engaged in desperate battle against the zombies alongside a fourth person in a red hoodie. The undead had apparently been crawling up the sides of the building. Derp grimaced. "Ych, you've already replaced me so fast."
Arbiter quickly grew excited, exclaiming "Derp! You're alive!" only to hesitate when he noticed the Derp's new appearance. "Wait, what are you wearing?"
Snuggle was less polite. "Where the hell did you get all that? We've been apart for less than five minutes."
The Derp dismissed them with a wave of his hand. "That doesn't matter. What does matter is what I'm here to do."
Arbiter's enthusiasm returned. "Yeah! You're gonna get out with us, right?"
The Derp shook his head. "No, I'm here to get my revenge."
Arbiter was taken aback. "Revenge? What do you mean?"
"He means he's gonna kill us!" HeadScientist shouted from the corner. The zombies had taken the lull in the fighting to redouble their efforts. The man in the lab coat had hurried to kick the undead back down.
Arbiter was shocked. "What?! That can't be right! You're here to help us, right Derp?"
The Derp's form tightened and he pointed straight at Arbiter. "No, he's right." His hand formed a fist which he held close to his face. "You betrayed me! Left me for dead, killed my best friend! I'll show you just how deeply you fucked up by turning on me!"
Arbiter's face turned from shock to confusion. "Wait, best friend?"
"Enough!" The Derp held his shotgun in front of him. "Now I'll show you!" He began focusing, letting the extreme power within him be brought to bear. Once he had finished, he would unleash a storm of-
Bang*
The Derp fell over dead. Everyone, even the zombies, stopped and stared at Snuggle and her smoking gun. She looked back and shrugged. "What, he was just standing there, could at least made his 'special move' not just acting like a mannequin."
That seemed to unpause the battle. The zombies continued to attack, HeadScientist got back to knocking heads, and the two gun users opened fire again.
The Derp respawned in Hypixel lobby. "Damn them! This isn't the last they've seen of-"
His rant was interrupted by the sound of flopping to his side. The Derp's cod had respawned with him.
All anger and hatred instantly faded from the derpy one as he held his beloved fish. "You're back! Now onto some Skyblock."
Hey guys. I had this idea when I was watching Blocking Dead and thought the fake out death would 100% be used to justify bad fanfiction if it were in a more well known series. So I made this funny little story for the five people who also thought that.