Chapter 24: The Ones Most Responsible, Rational, Creative, and Ironic

"—STOOOOOOOP!"

Flippy grumbled to himself. That'd definitely been Flaky screaming, and it also sounded like a stampede was rushing straight for his house.

CRASH!

Lumpy burst in, knocking the front door down. He at least had the courtesy to ring the doorbell before coming in; there was a porcupine clinging to his leg, trying to pull him back.

"Ah HA!" Lumpy cried upon spotting Oakie. "Oh HO!" he yelled, pointing at Flippy. Then he tenderly patted Flaky on the head. "Uh huh."

"I couldn't, I tried to—" she stammered, only to gasp and put her hands to her mouth when she saw the human.

"Hey, what're you?" Oakie asked loudly, pointing at her. The tip of a knife pressed up against his neck. "Oh, right. Hey big guy, can I get you to vouch for me? This little fella wants to eat me and I didn't really plan on dying like that."

"Hm?" Lumpy wondered. He tried shooing Flippy away but the bear refused to move and kept Oakie at knifepoint.

Then Flaky suddenly screamed, "IT—IT'S THE MONSTER!"

"Oh, hey, hey, hey," Oakie complained. "I know I don't look like a stud, but can we please stop calling me that? You should be calling the psycho who mutilated me last night a monster!"

A vein in Flippy's temple twitched. Lumpy took his wrist, exclaiming, "You shouldn't play with knives! It isn't safe."

"I'm not either!" Oakie whined. "Save ME first!"

"Monster!" Flaky yelled. Blooey began scratching at the office door and started to howl.

Flippy wished they would all just shut up. Right now, he wanted to bury his head in the pillows with a bowl of ice cream and shut out the world. Maybe not ice cream, he thought sadly. He didn't need his scale to know that he had a little more junk in the trunk. While he was daydreaming the Book of the World decided it'd had enough.

It rocketed into Lumpy's head and dropped him like a rock. YOU BUTT OUT, it snapped at him.

To Oakie it said, YOU SHUT UP.

It soared to over to Flaky, who cowered. AND YOU—girl, just go with the flow, will you?

I mean, geez, the Book stormed, it's like a circus act in here, yet I only see one clown! Can we PLEASE settle this now? And you, dadd—uh, fluffy, it said to Flippy. Chill! Put that up for now. We need answers.

Flippy reluctantly withdrew the knife, staring daggers at the human. The Book loomed over Oakie with a warning: You can talk now, but you'd better not piss me off or else I'll sic him on you.

"I'm innocent, I promise." Oakie whined. "I never came here to cause trouble."

"Uh huh!" Lumpy confirmed. He blinked one eye at the hovering book but didn't seem to find it unusual. "He's nice. He's a…uh…"

"He's a human," Flippy said sternly.

"Oh, yeah!"

Flaky cautiously crept closer, making sure to give Oakie a wide berth. "What's a…that?"

Well, I was created by a human. The Book told her.

She stepped back, aghast. The pieces fell together in her mind and showed in her expression, which gradually became livid and spiteful. Flaky suddenly became very hyper focused on the knife in Flippy's hand. The bear smirked sideways at no one in particular. He bowed, holding the knife out for her to take. Oakie watched the exchange in horror.

"What?! Dude, you TOO?" he cried to Flaky. "None of us has the full story yet and you're playing hot potato with a knife?"

Flaky narrowed her eyes. The Book told Oakie, You keep pissing off the nicest and most tolerant animals around. I'd stop making assumptions if I were you.

"What are you talking about!? I'm the only one not making assumptions here, other than the big guy! Fine! You want facts and not assumptions!? Then I'm confused like all of you. I don't know what the deal is with this book, either!"

Flippy crossed his arms. "Whatever you write in it happens for real."

Oakie simmered down, surprised. "Really?"

"Yes. It can even bring things back to life."

That was when Oakie burst out into laughter. Lumpy did too, though he didn't really know why. "Are…are you serious?" Oakie cried. "You think I'M smart enough, or like, some wizard to be able to make…something that can…alter reality?"

He took the Book of the World in his hands, reprocessing a few things.

"So it's like a magic book? No, maybe magic isn't even the right word…wait, what's all this?"

He began flipping through the animal profiles, confused. Flaky spoke up quietly. "They were using the Book to make us and our friends die…over and over…they would write us into dangerous situations."

Oakie didn't appear to hear her at first, but then it was surprisingly clear that he'd taken that information in stride. "They? And things were recorded? Or…no, maybe that comes…after…"

Lumpy stepped in behind him, curious. "Oh, hey!" he said, pointing to his own name.

"No!" Flippy grabbed his arm and forced it down. "Don't touch it!"

"What, why?" Oakie asked, holding his hand away from the page.

"You'll be able to see a time where he died!"

Lumpy scratched his head. He didn't remember ever dying.

"So…I guess it does keep a record of things, somehow, that have…uhh…?" Oakie waved a hand at himself, trying to find the words.

"…already happened," Flaky finished.

The Book flipped itself to an empty page. You've basically got it. The issue here is the Bookworms. They didn't make me, but they've been the ones causing trouble for these animals. There's only three of them now, but we're thinking they've been trying to find me and start causing trouble again.

"Well, why were they doing that in the first place? Who put them up to it?" Oakie demanded.

I don't know. We can only assume that whoever made me is responsible. That's why you've got a target on your back, see? Thing is, I believe you. I don't think you're the human who made me. You'll have to convince the other two smart ones here that you're just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Orrrr…there's nothing I can do for you.

Oakie awkwardly poked his lips out, not liking the sound of that. Unbeknownst to him Lumpy had been reading over his shoulder.

"He's a good human!" Lumpy exclaimed, throwing a finger up. "I'll prove it!"

Everyone looked at him. Lumpy grabbed Oakie by the wrist and pulled him away. To Flaky's surprise he took her along with them.

"What—?! What're you doing?" Oakie asked, stumbling and dropping the Book.

"Where are we going?" Flaky cried.

Lumpy just strong armed them out of the house and then poked his head back in. "We'll be back!" he promised, pulling the front door back up into the frame. After a moment Flippy and the Book looked at each other.

Well, the Book said. At least it's quiet now?

Flippy sat and hunched over, massaging his ears. There was too much to be concerned with, but absolutely nothing he could do.

Uh, yeeeah, I have no idea what Lumpy's doing, but we can only hope it doesn't explode spectacularly in our faces. Sounds like he's been on the up-and-up about that human guy for a while, the Book said. Why was Flaky here, though?

Flippy shrugged, pointing out that she'd tried stopping Lumpy from coming in.

Yeah, but there had to have been a reason.

Did…something happen between you two? Your body language just changed.

"No," Flippy said quickly. He started to get up but the Book gently nudged him to his bottom.

Uh huh, like I'll believe that.

"Oh, okay…"

Flippy told it about what had happened earlier between the both of them. After he was finished speaking, the Book stayed silent and just 'stared' at him. Flippy found it uncomfortable when it did that.

I knew this sort of thing would happen. Of course you both like each other, The Book said. I mean, the only reason you both aren't a thing is because of the powers that be. Looks like those Bookworms like their couples, don't they? Cuddles and Giggles, Handy and Petunia, you and Flaky. What's it feel like, not having them get in the way of the natural progression of things?

Flippy mumbled and fretted, unable to find anything to say.

Oh, I'm just messing with you. It's a shame how your PTSD is the deal breaker. And it's not your fault, of course. I think she's finally realized that.

Still, I feel like…there's something I should know. Like, there's something I've forgotten or something that I'm missing. Something…right in front of my face.

I also had this weird thought. Maybe if I spend more time around that human, something magical might happen.

"Huh?"

Profound statement, I know. It's just the feeling I get. I don't think it's him who made me, but I think I'm developing some sort of attachment with him regardless. He's still a human.

"Oh..."

Don't go drooping your ears. He'd never replace you, the Book said, twitching its pages. Don't even think that. I missed you every second I was in that attic.

"Right…" Flippy mumbled, drooping his ears lower. "…I'm sorry for…being afraid of you."

I don't blame you. I don't understand what happened either…something like that dream has never ! The more we go on, the more it seems like I DON'T know about my own existence! It's kinda starting to scare me.

Flippy, tell me…have you ever thought that maybe we're in over our heads?

Did we make a bad choice, thinking we could get away with all of this?

Flippy gulped. He didn't want to think too hard about that question.

He wouldn't feel fully settled until he'd taken care of the rest of the Bookworms. He had no idea where the other two were, or what they looked like. Since Jo escaped, she'd likely told them who had the Book.

If I showed you some nice pictures, would you let me supervise you on a double date? the Book asked randomly.

Flippy had no idea what it meant by that.

Oh ho, never mind you innocent thing. You meant it when you said you needed to keep me close, right?

"Yes," Flippy said, letting it fall in his hands. "But…I don't want to be…um…"

What? Overly possessive? The Book asked, and he nodded sadly. Got it. Well…if it helps, you've got three other people who know about my existence. I'm just saying…this pressure just might lessen a bit if you confide in them.

Maybe it's time to talk a little more about your worries and concerns? Besides, if they know a little more, I'm sure they'll be encouraged to help. The only good thing about the Bookworms is that NO sane person would want them to get their hands back on me.

You're the responsible one, here. We agreed to let Flaky in on things and that's because we can trust how rational she is.

And you know, that human might be a blabbermouth and annoying, but he understood how I worked right off the bat. In spite of what he says, his mind functions creatively. I'm just saying, it might help to have him around. I'm sure he'll be able to keep a secret, too.

…which means you can't dismember and eat him.

"Aww," Flippy sighed.

We're agreeing on that right now, okay? And about Lumpy, I don't know. I'm sure he's missed the entire point of everything that's just happened, but maybe we need a wild card like him along for the ride.

Flippy scoffed. One thing was for sure: Lumpy was not going to be writing in the Book for any reason.

Maybe we can throw him a small bone. The Book said. He can only write in it if…oh, well. The situation would have to be really, really, REALLY bad for us to rely on Lumpy in our darkest hour.

Still, you never know. I'm just being open to more ideas and trying to stay optimistic. We don't have to keep doing this by ourselves.

Just don't leave me alone again. Please.

Flippy nuzzled it tenderly and made that promise.

Flippy was going to get things done around the house until the others came back. He used the Book to fix the damage he'd done while chasing Jo and realized it was time to take Blooey for a walk.

When Flippy took the puppy out, he held him up for a moment. Blooey had the sweetest face and the kindest temperament ever, but there was something that Flippy had quickly discovered about him.

Almost a week ago, Flippy had taken Blooey out for his first walk into the city. They had gone to the pet store to buy a few things.

Once they were done they came out to find Disco Bear leaning on a streetlamp. He seemed to be checking out everyone who passed by, so naturally, when Lamby happened to be the next person, he wolf whistled at her.

That was when Blooey had completely changed gears and snapped, lunging for Disco Bear's neck. Flippy had managed to control and steer him away, but was startled at how different his puppy suddenly looked. So manic and bloodthirsty!

That had made him start to feel funny, so he'd run back home as fast as he could, carrying a eco-sized bag of treats in one arm and Blooey in the other. Along the way, the pup had gone back to normal like nothing had happened.

How did I get a dog that's just like me?

Now that he knew Blooey was highly reactive to whistling, Flippy had to be even more hyper vigilant to sounds when walking his dog. He tried to avoid the busier streets and shortened the leash whenever someone came near them just as a precaution. Ever since then Blooey had a few more episodes just by hearing things on the TV or radio, but the other thing was that he never turned aggressive towards Flippy.

Maybe it's a loyalty thing. He has more restraint that I do, Flippy realized blankly, as they trailed back home. I really am a monster.

He was at an impasse. He still wasn't sure about that human—Oakie, was his name? But he wasn't sure if telling him the truth about what happened the previous night was a good idea. Depending on where Lumpy's great mind had whisked them all off too, Flippy wasn't sure if he should've been expecting them back within the day.

So, he did what he'd been doing as usual and got ready to take a nap. Sleeping would help reset his mood at the least. He unleashed Blooey and lay down on the carpet.

Huh? Right here? The Book asked.

"Mhm…"

Oh, okay. Sure, then.

Make some room, will you?

"Oh, sowry…"

Flippy frowned, curling up tighter. His thoughts wouldn't stop bothering him. They wouldn't keep him from falling asleep, but he didn't want to have any bad dreams.

I'm a monster.

I should tell him.

I'm the monster.

Before it's…

…too late.

Flippy exhaled deeply and relaxed. His thoughts quieted and he drifted off, hoping that when he woke up things would be better.