A.N: Wow, this has taken so much time, much more than planned. I've been really sick for an entire week during my birthday and school decided to suck even more than usual, but finally we're here with chapter 4! This one is even almost double-sized than the usual, being almost 10k words long.
In the next chapter, Subaru is going to meet the other Camps and find out what Anastasia planned for the attack, but things won't go as they expect.
As always, thank you very much for every review and compliments, I love y'all! And big shoutout to Vyazov23, Vrbe and SilverSaber for the beta reading!
Also, me, Momentos_Beaco and other authors are creating a discord server Re:Zero themed, where you'll be able to see our updates for our fics! This is the link: /APKRZQRRMx
Reinhard van Astrea thought of himself as a fairly balanced person, of a peaceful disposition.
Despite the undoubtedly peculiar circumstances of his life, Reinhard did not need to live a reckless life to be happy.
What Reinhard longed for was peace.
Peace for the Kingdom of Lugunica.
Peace for his fellow knights who performed their duties every day.
Peace for the neediest people who could no longer sustain their lives.
Peace for his family.
And finally, after bringing peace to all the people he wished to protect, he hoped to find peace for his own heart, always tormented by the prospect of disappointment.
Unfortunately, Reinhard could not yet say he had fulfilled even one of these conditions, despite almost everyone flooding him with daily praise. It was a pity, though, that the people whose affection Reinhard most hoped for openly despised him.
Contrary to what common folk might think, the Sword Saint did not lead a life devoid of troubles, anxiety, and toil; in fact, the opposite would be more accurate to say.
The legendary sword he carried on his belt was not only a symbol of strength and dignity but also a heavy burden, constantly reminding him of his duty and his sins.
After all, Reinhard had stained his hands with the blood of his own family to gain the power to wield that sword. The least he could do was dedicate himself every day to atoning for the sin of being a monster.
The flame-haired knight hoped that his efforts would one day fill the void he felt in his heart; or at least that his work would suppress his guilt.
For many years, since he joined the Order of the Royal Knights, Reinhard renewed this promise to himself every day.
Sometimes the lack of progress in his life led him to question whether he was doing enough, wondering where the problem lay.
Reinhard continued to strive—or so he believed—fully aware of his responsibilities; but his doubts always accompanied him.
What was the point of all this? Why had Reid's Sword and Od Laguna chosen such an imperfect and flawed individual as him to become the mythical Sword Saint?
However, since the start of the Royal Selection, the life of the knight beloved by the World took an unexpected, though decidedly pleasant, turn.
For the first time in many years, Reinhard felt fulfilled, for he was succeeding in fulfilling the purpose assigned to him: serving his Lady, Felt-Sama.
Finally, he had found meaning in his life.
Sure, she had a turbulent personality, in total contrast to the knight's tranquillity, but every day he had the pleasure of seeing the situation improve and evolve.
He did not realize that he was changing, thanks to the advice his Lady imparted to him.
A new belief began to take root in his mind—that he didn't have to be merely the servant of the role imposed on him, but that he could become the master of his fate.
The Sword Saint was beginning to live for himself, as well as for others.
The knight-lady duo, despite their substantial differences, had more in common than they imagined.
They had learned to bring out the best in each other; they complemented and supported one another.
For the other Candidates, the Royal Selection was a matter of goals and ideals; for Felt and Reinhard, it was about finding meaning in their lives.
Perhaps they didn't have the best synergy or the full support of the nobility, but they believed they were the most determined.
They would have no other chance to redeem themselves in the eyes of such a rigid society. Their future depended on it, and they were aware of it.
It was with this proactive spirit that they headed to Priestella, ready to face negotiations with Anastasia with heads held high.
Reinhard, in particular, was quite happy that Felt had agreed to participate of her own accord, without him urging her (although Felt had agreed for a reason different from what the knight imagined).
The only detail that slightly dampened his good mood was the awareness that he would see his grandfather again. He did not feel worthy of being near someone as extraordinary as him.
The former commander of the Knights' Order had come to terms with his past, unlike the Sword Saint.
Nevertheless, Reinhard was still convinced that things would go well: his lady would manage those negotiations admirably, while Reinhard would reunite with his best friends.
This quiet optimism of his would soon be shattered.
It happened suddenly, without Reinhard expecting it in the slightest.
This single fact alarmed him greatly: from the moment he was born, Reinhard van Astrea had never been caught off guard by any attack.
However, as soon as his consciousness found itself in that theater hall, he immediately realized that all his Divine Protections had been disabled by an unknown force. Even the legendary Reid's Sword had disappeared from his belt.
He could almost feel that invisible barrier of absolute power that separated him from the other people present in that theater vanish. It was a strangely pleasant sensation, even though he would never admit it.
He wasn't at all accustomed to feeling...equal to others.
Despite this, at first, the situation frightened him greatly because he would not be able to fight at full strength, as even the Divine Protection of the Sword Saint had been disabled.
However, during the vision, he regretted his infinite arsenal of Divine Protections for a completely different reason: he had lost almost every defense mechanism his fragile mind had prepared to face life.
Stripped of every lethal force he possessed; the only thing left to the Sword Saint was his mind.
However, unlike his body, the knight's soul was not at all as resilient as he tried to make the rest of the world believe.
He gave all those present (including his grandfather) a rather swift demonstration of this when he twice witnessed the gutted corpses of both his lady and his friend. He was rather shaken by a prelude to something infinitely worse.
Subaru had arrived in their world less than a day earlier, and Reinhard had already disappointed him three times.
As the vision continued, Reinhard quickly realized how completely redundant he had been in protecting his loved ones, unlike the dark-haired boy.
The Sword Saint's heart was torn by three conflicting emotions, which overwhelmed all others.
The first was the obvious regret and constant guilt for never being able to help his friend alleviate his unspeakable suffering.
The second was deep devotion and adoration, bordering on idolatry, toward the former recluse. Subaru had not only managed to achieve impossible feats despite his powerlessness but also maintained his tenacity and kindness of heart.
He had even defeated the White Whale, the symbol of the calamity that had struck the Astrea household, doing the work the Sword Saint should have done.
The third feeling was much more paradoxical.
Despite continuing to witness increasingly tragic and painful deaths, Reinhard van Astrea came to envy Natsuki Subaru.
Although Reinhard admired Subaru with all his heart and had since taken him as a role model, he would be lying if he said he wanted Subaru's life.
However, Subaru had managed to achieve something Reinhard could never have: his love was always reciprocated.
The love that had driven the Japanese boy to persevere and push beyond every limit was the love he continued to give and receive.
His existence was not considered blasphemous.
He had people who cared about him. Parents who loved him.
Seeing Subaru interact with them, even knowing they were only illusions, filled Reinhard with devastating sadness. He felt like a flower crushed by an anvil.
It was the first time he had cried since he was seven years old.
It was a completely harrowing experience for him because the knight understood perfectly what it meant to chase a past that would never return.
However, unlike Subaru, Reinhard probably wouldn't have been able to come to terms with it, preferring to avoid the problem rather than confront it.
If Reinhard had had to face the Witch's First Trial, he would have failed miserably, as Emilia did. As he himself always had.
The vision of the fourth Arc was particularly heavy for the Sword Saint because he deeply related to the feeling of helplessness and self-loathing that Subaru experienced.
He, too, wondered whether the people he loved truly reciprocated his feelings, whether he deserved to be happy despite his continual failures.
Reinhard and Subaru had been forged by the same suffering, even though they both had powers beyond human comprehension.
For this reason, by the end of the fourth Arc, Reinhard had found a new role model to follow and admire.
If Subaru was capable of earning the love of others and of himself, then perhaps he could do it too.
They would walk that path together, covering each other's backs, like two friends who truly cared for one another.
Natsuki Subaru had become a veritable idol for the Sword Saint.
However, the vision continued, and soon Reinhard noticed that throughout future events, he was destined to take a different path than Subaru.
Where Subaru continued to accumulate victories and gain the admiration of people, Reinhard continued to fail and be despised, even though he was also doing his duty.
Even his grandfather had come to renounce him for killing his wife, who had become an undead soldier.
Not that he was wrong. The Sword Saint had even stained his hands with the blood of Natsuki Subaru through the Authority of Wrath. From the moment he witnessed that, Reinhard felt dirty and rotten, both inside and out.
That low opinion of himself was destined to persist for the rest of his days.
Subaru would likely have found a different way, one that satisfied everyone, to bring peace to the souls of the deceased Sword Saint and the Sword Demon.
Unsurprisingly, the only success Reinhard could claim during the future siege of Priestella was the defeat of the Archbishop of Greed, a plan devised together with Subaru.
That's just how Subaru was. He never gave up on anything, always fighting to avoid sacrificing anyone, unlike the lazy and cowardly Sword Saint, who only did what was best for the kingdom.
They were not the same person. They might have experienced the same emotions and been in similar situations, but they faced their problems in completely different ways.
Reinhard still admired Subaru, but he was beginning to see a chasm separating them.
This did not sit well with Reinhard. He didn't want another invisible barrier to separate him from perhaps his dearest friend, the one who best understood the weight on his shoulders.
He didn't want to feel alone in his pain again. He didn't want it, didn't want it, didn't want it.
He needed to share it with someone, but Subaru was too extraordinary to pay attention to someone like him.
Seeing how someone as rotten as him and an angel like Subaru could be so different, despite their similarities, left Reinhard doubtful about their friendship.
By the end of the sixth Arc, Reinhard's morale had dropped significantly, all his previous determination drained like water in the desert.
Even though he had just been told a story of hope and perseverance, Reinhard felt unworthy of having a role in it.
If he could have transferred all his Divine Protections and powers to Subaru, he would have done so without hesitation. Subaru deserved it.
He would have done nothing more than disappear from the spotlight, like an extra who had botched his lines in a script.
However, his perception of the Hero of Priestella soon changed further, with the vision of other perspectives on the events in which he was involved.
The chasm that separated the world's two most powerful knights widened even more, the darkness swallowing him growing ever darker.
At first, it wasn't even that bad. Seeing Subaru run away from his responsibilities alongside the woman who loved (and had killed) him had a comforting effect on Reinhard, despite its sad implications.
At least on the face of that family man, there were no dark bags under his eyes or cuts on his arms.
He had lost much, but what little he retained had made him happy.
Then things quickly worsened, exponentially.
Reinhard felt a bittersweet sense of betrayal mixed with understanding when he saw Subaru force his lady to abandon the Royal Selection.
Even the dark-haired boy had begun to see Reinhard as a tool, a weapon.
But that was still fine; he could still accept it. Anyone would have wanted to use the Sword Saint's power, and Subaru couldn't be entirely blamed for trying to win the Royal Selection. At least he could still help his friend, even though they had both become mere puppets manipulated by the Witch of Greed.
Neither would have been happy, but at least they would have been together.
Following that, Reinhard, at the edge of his sanity, was forced to witness the path represented by pride...and sought to end his existence at all costs.
It didn't matter how: twisting his neck, biting his tongue, ripping open his chest and discarding his heart, being eaten by the Great Rabbit. Anything would have sufficed, as long as he could stop witnessing such a horrifying revelation.
He didn't want to see how he and his father would have been happy if his grandfather had never existed; how he would have been unable to explain his feelings.
He didn't want to see Julius die of poison for trusting others, as all knights should do.
He didn't want to see Felix renounce his principles and chase a ghost that wouldn't return, only to end up dead himself.
He didn't want to see how he had become nothing more than a monster, the fallen Sword Saint, made up only of rage (he had stained his hands with the blood of a CHILD), impotence, and guilt.
But most of all, he didn't want to see what Natsuki Subaru had become, a true calamity for the world. How even the Sin Archbishop was driven by envy toward the Sword Saint.
Reinhard van Astrea had come to understand the mindset of a sadistic madman.
That was the final blow: now even the Sword Saint had become a monster.
The alternate visions didn't help at all compared to the one that had shown the world burning.
Seeing Subaru, having become the Purge King, call him a liar, like everyone else, made him want to hang himself from a tree.
Because Subaru was right: Reinhard van Astrea was a liar, a traitor, a devil, a fraud.
He was nothing more than a mockery of someone who was supposed to be a hero. A hero would have been able to save the Purge King from his despair.
Even Subaru himself, after being overwhelmed by memories of his friends, had said so.
"You're not as omnipotent and superhuman as you think you are."
It always came back to this: Natsuki Subaru was destined to be right, while Reinhard would always be wrong.
The Sword Saint could no longer delude himself: Reinhard van Astrea and Natsuki Subaru were destined to remain distant, incompatible with one another.
The first thing Reinhard van Astrea felt once he returned from the theater hall was overwhelming disorientation, as if a hammer had split his skull in two or he had just been drugged.
Immediately, the red-haired knight pressed his hands against his temples, trying to suppress the oppressive sensation. Even his vision was becoming blurry and trembling.
Reinhard was aware of the cause of this anomalous phenomenon: it was due to the activation of his Divine Protection of Nightmares. Its purpose was to combat any corrupting elements that could damage the Sword Saint's mind.
It could be said that he used it almost daily, especially when his father greeted him in the morning by calling him a monster and lamenting that his mother should have aborted him.
After all, a perfect knight must always reassure civilians with a bright smile, right? (Perhaps he too should start practicing his smiles in front of a mirror).
There was only one small problem: although it was capable of suppressing harmful experiences to the psyche, it could not entirely erase the memories Reinhard had lived through or the emotions associated with them.
The mind of the red-haired knight was supposed to remain unscathed, yet exactly the opposite had occurred.
Despite the slow but progressive mitigation of his altered state, Reinhard could still feel boundless despair, like the Black Serpent that corrupts everything it touches, leaving nothing behind.
Fundamentally, even for Od Laguna himself, something impossible was happening—something that should never have occurred.
The will of the world and the mind of the Sword Saint were in direct collision, like a satellite crashing into the planet it orbited.
For the first time in his entire life, Reinhard's Divine Protections were more of a curse than a blessing. They had become chains that could strangle him to death, like those used by the Archbishop of Wrath.
On one hand, Od Laguna was attempting to restore the perfect hero capable of everything (except protecting his friends) and suppress any emotions that could destabilize him.
On the other hand, the said hero's mind was trying to preserve every detail it could remember to avoid forgetting the wrongs he had committed, going against every principle of psychological self-preservation.
He felt the need for an outlet to rationalize all those dark and traumatic events, but he believed he didn't deserve the convenient illusion that a couple of Divine Protections would suffice to face the situation.
The potentially infinite arsenal of Divine Protections was capable of bending reality within the limits of possibility to best support the Sword Saint and prevent any harm from befalling him. But it couldn't undo events that had already happened.
Such an ability was meant only for those who dared to blaspheme against the laws of creation.
While Reinhard was still trying to pull himself together, another Divine Protection activated almost instantly, further unsettling his mind.
This time it was the Divine Protection of Monitoring Felt-sama: it allowed him not only to constantly monitor the blonde-haired girl but also to immediately know her physical and mental condition.
And the report Od Laguna was showing him about his lady's condition was worrying: she had sustained damage, both physical and, more importantly, mental.
The second part came as no surprise. Anyone who knew what they both had seen would consider it obvious.
But the fact that his lady had sustained injuries might have meant she had been attacked by an enemy.
And now he knew there were many truly dangerous enemies present in Priestella. He was at risk of failing once again.
After realizing this, the Sword Saint abandoned all other thoughts and rushed to his pleading lady in the blink of an eye.
He had never felt his heart beat so strongly, his mind praying to every existing deity that he hadn't failed once again.
He found her in a small alley in the city center, similar to the one Natsuki Subaru had walked through in numerous loops.
She was curled up in a fetal position, crying out in total agony.
Beneath her lay a broken wooden crate, which had likely served as a makeshift mattress for her probable fall—like a bird with a broken wing.
Fortunately, her injuries were nothing serious, but Reinhard's nerves weren't steady enough to maintain control of himself, not even with his Divine Protections activated.
He had the opportunity to demonstrate this in the worst way possible.
He didn't recognize himself as he screamed in fear and anxiety but quickly realized he had made another foolish gesture.
As a knight, his duty had always been to reassure the people he was meant to save. However, the effect he produced was exactly the opposite.
Reinhard knew simply by looking into her ruby eyes, which reflected so many confused and turbulent emotions.
Sadness, fear, panic, anger, despair, confusion, betrayal, repulsion, denial, vengeance, desolation, anxiety, disappointment, hatred, uncertainty.
The list could go on for much longer, but the emotions Reinhard was trying to convey—relief, serenity, and peace—were not among them.
She wanted to run away from him. She was frightened of him.
He could never blame her for feeling such emotions. He, too, was still terrified of what he might become. Monstrous, he was truly monstrous in every sense.
However, understanding the contempt and disgust his lady felt toward him did not make those feelings any less painful—only more profound and visceral.
Reinhard did not want her to leave his life as well, as had already happened in another timeline.
He didn't want another insurmountable chasm of despair to separate them; otherwise, he might end up falling into it, with no chance of survival.
He couldn't bear to live such a life.
For this reason, he did something unforgivable: he ran to her and held her as close to him as possible.
He had no right to such a privilege. He should have stayed as far away from her as possible, but he couldn't.
His sense of duty was no longer able to suppress his emotions, no matter how many Divine Protections intervened.
For the first time, Reinhard van Astrea defied the will of the world and listened only to his heart.
The two dissolved into desperate and heart-wrenching, yet not liberating, sobs; they didn't even know how much time had passed.
However, the unusual tears of the Sword Saint brought him clarity about one fact: there was no time to waste.
After waiting for Felt's subdued crying to subside, Reinhard gently moved her slightly away, once again creating distance between them, and looked into her eyes.
The knight's sky-blue eyes still reflected dismay and sadness, but also awareness and determination.
"…I'm sorry, Felt-sama, but we can't stay here like this…we have to do…something… Let's go back."
Felt nodded silently, despondent but understanding, while Reinhard internally sighed in relief. His Divine Protection of the Calming Voice had worked just enough to allow the girl to think rationally.
Unfortunately, at that moment, they couldn't afford to lose time and wallow in self-pity.
There were too many things to think about, to the point where they felt physically crushed by their responsibilities.
After making this decision, the knight picked up the young royal candidate in his arms (normally, she would have opposed being treated like a five-year-old child, but this time she lacked the energy or pride to protest) and made a leap high enough to observe the entire city's perimeter.
His goal was to return to the inn where they were guests of Anastasia Hoshin; but his eyes, despite the height at which they were positioned at that moment, were caught by a suspicious movement.
Someone was running quickly, trying to make their way through the crowd that would soon be attacked, but it wasn't an enemy.
When he recognized that presence, Reinhard understood what they were trying to do, but he couldn't allow it.
As a result, the Sword Saint changed his trajectory and moved to reach that person.
No one would escape their responsibilities, and Reinhard would make sure of it.
Rachins Houffman was aware he was a small fish in a lake full of piranhas, and he was fine with that.
He didn't have any particular talents other than a decent intelligence and the ability to use fire magic, but that didn't represent a significant problem for the criminal.
All he wanted was to avoid getting involved in complicated matters, and he believed his mediocre skills could help him maintain a low profile.
People mistakenly think that being on the lower rungs of the hierarchy makes life more dangerous, but Rachins thought differently.
In the poorer neighborhoods of the Capital, it was common to encounter bar brawls, assaults on prostitutes, and occasional murders, but you could get by if you earned respect.
On the other hand, for Rachins, nobility was a jungle full of conspiracies, schemes, and dark machinations.
It was an extremely competitive world, and Rachins was not ready to participate in that ruthless race because he knew he was just a small fish.
He decided to abandon his family when his father, a cold and distant man, forced him to become a knight.
That was why he left his old noble life to live in the slums.
Don't get him wrong; he wasn't stupid. He knew he had sacrificed a privileged and comfortable lifestyle, but he was equally aware of the responsibilities and risks tied to it.
He adapted rather quickly to his new lifestyle, thanks also to Gaston and Camberley.
After all, how hard could it be to survive like this? You just needed to scam the ignorant and threaten someone at home with a knife to get by.
He even ended up serving Felt, so he could both enjoy a better lifestyle and avoid going to the frontlines himself. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Perhaps he wasn't a big fish, but he could act like one with fish so small they seemed like plankton, given their irrelevance in society.
Too bad fate played another trick on Rachins, making him encounter the biggest fish of all while he was having just another ordinary day.
When he tried to rob Natsuki Subaru, he hadn't given much importance to the incident, apart from the fact that he risked being arrested by the Sword Saint (his usual luck).
However, he had just discovered that that encounter was far more significant than he could have ever imagined.
Rachins was in trouble. He was neck-deep in shit, and there was nothing he could do to improve his situation.
He had killed Natsuki Subaru with his oh-so-innocuous little knife.
He had been killed repeatedly by Natsuki Subaru, who had crushed his neck nonchalantly and killed one of his friends with a stick.
He was in the middle of Priestella during the attack of the Archbishops.
All the bigger fish knew about the sins committed by the small fish and wanted to make him pay.
Why him? Rachins had never wanted any of this.
He didn't want to kill Natsuki Subaru, and he didn't want to know he had killed him.
He didn't want to know that the Witch of Envy or Natsuki Subaru could destroy him with such overwhelming simplicity.
He didn't want to find out he wasn't even a small fish, but rather a tadpole and couldn't be anything more.
What could someone like him do?
What could he do? What could he do? What could he do? What could he do? What could he do? What could he do? What could he do? What could he do? What could he do? What could he do? What could he do? What could he do? What could he do? What could he do? What could he do? What could he do?
Rachins concluded he had only one option: to run away. Escape, vanish, disappear completely from the lives of these people—no, these monsters.
And that's exactly what he was doing.
Rachins was at a stall with Gaston and Camberley, buying supplies for Felt, when his consciousness returned to his body.
For several seconds, his mind tried to process the situation he was in, making him look like a puppet whose strings had been cut.
The two rogue companions quickly noticed something was wrong with their colleague and, after waving a hand in front of his face for half a minute, saw him regain awareness of his surroundings.
"Oh, finally! Took you long enough to come back to the land of the living, you moron," said Gaston, with the same finesse as a wrecking ball.
At that point, Rachins turned his head very, very slowly and looked them in the eyes with the same gaze as a soldier facing a giant army.
Then he ran. He fled as fast as he could, as if his very life depended on it (which it did), without looking back.
He had no idea where he was headed, but he knew sooner or later he would reach the first exit from the walls of this trap-filled city.
Anxiety dominated his mind, every memory he had just witnessed playing over and over as he desperately fought for every gasp of breath.
Meanwhile, the other two thugs were chasing after him, panting as well, increasingly worried about the crowd that was growing more restless.
Rachins didn't care about the pedestrians, and the number of people knocked over, tripped up, or otherwise left on the ground attested to this. He could have easily been mistaken for a pickpocket or worse.
Suddenly, after about twenty minutes of uninterrupted running, a figure materialized in front of the fleeing man.
That someone was the Sword Saint, carrying Felt. They too bore a distraught expression, similar to Rachins', their sunken, reddened eyes reflecting their torment.
His appearance caused Rachins to collapse, allowing the two pursuers to catch up to him, but when they saw the condition of the Sword Saint, they froze.
Gaston and Camberley had never seen him look so... weak.
But it wasn't over yet.
When Rachins raised his eyes to see what he had stumbled upon, he began to scream hysterically and back away with all his might, as if even touching him would corrode his body.
"You fucking idiot, what are you doing?!"
"We almost got trampled by the crowd because of you!"
But Rachins couldn't have cared less as he continued to shout and curse in terror at the Sword Saint.
Small tears of genuine fear welled up in the thug's eyes.
"No, no, no, no, no! Stay away from me! Stay as far away as possible, monster! Let me go! Leave me alone, NOW!"
At that moment, he unsheathed his little knife and pointed it shakily at Reinhard.
Rationally, for Rachins even conceiving the idea of opposing Reinhard with a cheap dagger was absurd, but at that moment, anything was good enough to keep some distance from that supposed monster.
Surprisingly, Felt didn't react to the series of insults hurled at her knight, instead maintaining a desolate air.
Reinhard himself seemed deeply hurt by the gesture, despite trying to mask his expression.
If the knight had dog ears at that moment, they would have drooped like a wilted flower.
In that moment, the not-so-perfect knight answered with a calm tone without any malice or emotion, but full of regret and shame.
"I'm sorry, Rachins, but I cannot allow that. I understand you, I really do, and you're right to feel this way. But I can't leave you unsupervised."
Rachins now knew too many important things to be simply ignored and left to himself; he couldn't back out.
Reinhard hoped that in the future, he could be more lenient and allow Rachins to exclude himself from the complex equation that was Natsuki Subaru, but at that moment, he couldn't.
When he heard those simple but fatal words, Rachins could not stop trembling desperately, feeling something wet and gross in his pants.
He was like an ant going to be stomped by a shoe. He couldn't do anything about it, no matter what.
"...No. No, no, no, please, PLEASE DON'T!"
But it was all futile now. The Sword Saint wasn't a human moved by empathy, but a knight driven by his sense of duty.
With a guilt-ridden expression, Reinhard extended his hand and drained Rachins' mana, making him faint.
Then he turned his gaze to the other two rogues, who had silently witnessed the scene in shock, just like the rest of the crowd that had stopped to watch.
"Gaston, Camberley, I'm sorry, but I need a favor. Could you kindly carry Rachins to the inn?"
"Oh... sure, man, but... could you explain what's going on?"
"I'm afraid I can't do that now. Perhaps I never will. However, it's very important right now that you do what I say without asking questions and that, from now on, you never harm Natsuki Subaru."
"Natsuki Subaru? The one who killed Sloth and the White Whale? Why would we ever do that? He'd kick our asses instantly!"
At that lighthearted remark, the Sword Saint's gaze darkened again, even though the two thugs, who immediately fell silent, were technically right.
But now wasn't the time to focus on tasteless jokes; it was time to prevent imminent catastrophe and ensure no mistakes were repeated.
No one could escape the consequences of what had happened so far or what was destined to happen in the various futures they had witnessed.
Rachins would face the consequences of having killed Natsuki Subaru, while Reinhard would face the consequences of not being up to his role.
From the very moment she opened her eyes, Crusch Karsten's life had proven to be very difficult.
Living with amnesia would not have been easy for anyone, but for her, it turned out to be even more challenging right from the start.
Apparently, her former self had been quite an important person in society, to the point that she aspired to become the queen of a kingdom whose laws were now unknown to the Valkyrie.
This meant that the responsibilities the previous Crusch had taken on had now fallen upon her.
Despite this, the amnesiac decided to continue on the already paved path because many people, Ferris first and foremost, were counting on her.
There were still promises to keep, even though she could no longer understand their nature and circumstances.
As expected, that task was anything but easy.
Seeing what was presumed to be her family collapse before her was not easy to face, just as trying to recover all the mannerisms and skills that made her old self so exceptional.
However, she was helped by the people who had been close to her in her previous life because they still saw in her a part of the person who had been lost, and soon she managed to find her rhythm again.
Despite her dedication to her cause, over the past year, Crusch had asked herself several questions about who [Crusch Karsten] truly was.
She wondered if they shared the same ideas or had similar ways of acting.
For example, by studying many documents in the study of her villa, the Valkyrie realized that she did not always agree with the militaristic approach that the duchess had always followed in politics, preferring instead a more diplomatic path.
Another topic on which there were ideological divergences with her past self concerned the Divine Dragon.
For [Crusch Karsten], the Dragon represented the deterioration of citizens' freedoms, as they had sacrificed their strength in favor of a security that had never arrived, creating a relationship of dependency with the Dragon.
The main point of her political campaign was to sever the pact with the Dragon. This would have represented an opportunity for the Kingdom to manage its forces independently and improve Lugunica's army.
However, the new Crusch did not share the idea of breaking the pact.
While she agreed that if the Dragon had been the only defense of the Kingdom, it could have created a dependent relationship with the people, the pact had never established that the Kingdom could not establish an army for self-defense.
From what the duchess without memories could ascertain by restudying the history of the world, after the Great Calamity, the Kingdom of Lugunica had never again been dependent on the Divine Dragon.
Withdrawing from a pact that required no sacrifices might have been more of a loss than a benefit.
When she expressed this doubt to her knight, a shadow appeared in his gaze. Clearly, he was not happy to hear that question, but he answered nonetheless.
He stated that the old Crusch also had a personal reason for wanting to break the pact with the Dragon.
For [Crusch Karsten], it seemed, it all came back to the last member of the royal bloodline, Prince Fourier Lugunica. According to Ferris, when he had fallen ill and eventually passed away, he had been forgotten and ignored in favor of the pact of the Dragon.
It was evident that for the healer, it was still a delicate subject, which made Crusch feel even guiltier for feeling completely disconnected from those past events.
She felt as if she were cold and apathetic, even though she knew it was not her fault and there was nothing she could do.
Later, the duchess decided to keep her personal opinions to herself and pursued the policies that, in her opinion, [Crusch Karsten] would have followed.
However, things could not last forever.
Over time, the followers and nobles loyal to the House of the Lion had noticed that the Valkyrie's speeches lacked the same firm conviction, that her demeanor had become more feminine, and her character more reserved and timid.
Slowly but inexorably, Crusch was losing the great following she had so effectively accumulated in the past.
The situation would soon become irreversible, so Crusch Karsten had to take action and eliminate the problem at its root: finding and killing the Sin Archbishop representing Gluttony.
Although it was not guaranteed, it was likely that killing him could nullify the effects his Authority had unleashed upon the world.
For the past year, Crusch had sent several of her men to search for the fugitive Archbishop throughout the kingdom, but they always returned empty-handed (or found him but were then forgotten by the world in turn).
The situation remained stagnant until a couple of weeks ago when a letter from Anastasia Hoshin was delivered to the Karsten estate.
That letter was a double-edged sword.
Accepting the invitation to Priestella would have allowed Crusch to learn new information about the Archbishop from her rival merchant for the throne, but it would also mean indebting herself to the royal candidate of Kararagi.
Would she be able to stand her ground against the rest of the candidates?
On the other hand, during that meeting, she could also reunite with the Emilia Camp, and collaborate on a plan to search for the Archbishop. They were just as eager as the duchess to nullify Gluttony's effects.
Despite the risks for [Crusch Karsten]'s Royal Selection campaign, she had to attend the meeting and obtain the information. Even if proves to be detrimental in the future.
For the green-haired Valkyrie, that meeting was crucial to rediscovering her glorious past.
After a couple of days of reflection, Crusch Karsten accepted the invitation and headed to the Watergate City, despite the doubts that pervaded her mind.
She even arrived a day early and was able to enjoy her stay in Priestella in relative tranquility.
It was a state that would remain even following the arrival of the other Camps, despite the lingering tensions between the Sword Saint and her butler.
That day, Crusch and Ferris were chatting amiably about trivial matters, observing the clear sky and enjoying the morning breeze.
It seemed that the negotiations would take place in a relaxed and civilized climate, where everyone would feel relatively at ease; but deep down, the duchess still had many questions about how to return to being the person she once was.
Casually, at that very moment, fate decided to show her the answers she so ardently sought, but in a rather...unusual way.
In the blink of an eye, the Valkyrie, her knight, and all the members of all the Camps found themselves in a theater hall, witnessing the events of Natsuki Subaru.
However, while for everyone else the vision was undoubtedly very traumatic and stressful, for Crusch Karsten and another person, it turned out to be much more painful and agonizing than for the rest of the "spectators."
This was because, from the very moment her consciousness was seized, the duchess's mind was bombarded with increasing intensity by her old memories, causing her many migraine attacks throughout the course of the visions.
At first, they were simple images of objects, names, or insignificant places.
As time passed, the memories gained more importance and clarity, tearing apart the veil of Maya that had surrounded the life of [Crusch Karsten].
Her mannerisms, her ideals of grandeur, her boldness, the encouraging speeches for the troops, the memory of the White Whale's downfall, the faces of her parents, Fourier.
Now Crusch Karsten could once again attribute emotions to these fragments that had reassembled.
The end of the visions coincided with the full rehabilitation of Crusch Karsten's memories.
However, unfortunately, that was not the only aspect of [Crusch Karsten] that the amnesiac Valkyrie had the chance to rediscover.
Parallel to the [Crusch Karsten] who presented herself as a great leader and politician, soon the darker sides of the aspiring queen were also revealed.
In the failed loops of Natsuki Subaru, the duchess was not a farsighted ruler but rather a cold and calculating dictator who turned a blind eye when she was informed about the risk to innocent lives, simply because they were not under her jurisdiction.
Although at times her actions could be justified by ignorance of the raven-haired boy's ability, Subaru's behavior was still a perfectly legitimate reaction to such a stressful situation.
It was a heavy burden, and it would not be surprising if one day Subaru abandoned them and excluded them from his life.
In that case, would it be correct to find someone to blame for what happened in a failed loop?
One thing was certain: the price of the duchess's lack of foresight was being paid by the wrong person.
Crusch wanted to condemn her past self for not listening to Natsuki Subaru's prophetic plea, but did she have the right to do so? Would she really have acted differently?
As the visions progressed, it seemed that her stubborn attitude was recurrent.
Not to mention the campaign against the White Whale, which was doomed to fail if not for Subaru's courage bordering on madness—a man as honest as he was brave.
On that note, if there was one person who had remained true to his principles regardless of the circumstances of the loops, that person was Subaru.
From the very moment he was brought into their world, Subaru had always chosen to follow his heart, deciding to be benevolent, even towards people like Crusch herself, who had proven ungrateful in the face of his goodwill gestures.
Instead, he reciprocated their utterly petty or incompetent behavior with love and sacrifice because he knew that if he did not intervene, then everything would fall apart, despite almost no one giving weight to his words.
The boy had various attractive characteristics for the duchess, who could not help but be drawn to such a fierce spirit, an indomitable will, and that kindness that led him to sacrifice himself for the sake of his friends.
She would not have been able to go that far for the sake of others, but she promised to follow his ideals as faithfully as possible.
For her, it was an entirely new feeling to deal with.
Could this be love? Crusch did not know how to define it exactly, but she was sure it was at least a devotion that could rival the love she felt for her loved ones.
As the visions unfolded, Natsuki Subaru became an increasingly important person to Crusch, who hated more and more to see him suffer for the sake of others, sacrificing his own well-being.
The boy's self-sacrificing nature was the trait the duchess both loved and hated the most, creating a paradoxical duality.
On the one hand, the idea that Subaru never hesitated for a second to do what was best for others was undoubtedly a commendable act, worthy of the highest praise.
On the other hand, the thought that he even felt obligated to hurt himself, to sacrifice himself, and to die because he believed that everyone else had greater value than him and therefore deserved to be saved was so self-pitying that it was revolting.
Unfortunately, this self-deprecating attitude never ceased to manifest, not even in the future that was shown to her.
One particularly significant example was when Subaru attempted to extract dragon blood from Crusch herself, still without memories and immobilized in bed by her illness.
It hurt to watch, but she was not allowed to look away. She hated with all her heart the expression of pure suffering on the face of the hero from another world while she could do nothing but watch as he took responsibility for her mistake.
It was proof that Crusch Karsten was destined to disappoint expectations. She was nothing more than an incompetent pretending to be something she was not and who did not deserve the help she had received.
The future turned out to be another warning of how her own incompetence was damaging Subaru's well-being.
Even though Natsuki Subaru's story was supposed to be centered on hope and the possibility of a happy ending, Crusch Karsten could not so easily accept such a fate.
Perhaps Subaru was able to find good in his experiences, and for that, he was undoubtedly exceptional, but Crusch would not have been able to do the same in his place.
She realized this at the end of the sixth Arc.
While Natsuki Subaru was able to make peace with himself and accept his true nature as a hero who saves those he loves, Crusch Karsten continued to feel increasingly distant from the ideal represented by [Crusch Karsten].
She wondered whether regaining her memories was truly worth it, especially after seeing Subaru lose his own and return to that circle of hell that was Return by Death.
Crusch could perfectly relate to that sense of confusion and heartbreaking desolation caused by amnesia.
Just as Subaru felt like an imposter who had taken the place of [Natsuki Subaru], Crusch had thought of her own existence as something temporary, that would eventually cease to be.
However, very soon, the duchess discovered that following that line of thought was very dangerous when she saw a series of alternative futures caused by a single choice.
She saw how she utterly failed in her attempt to kill the White Whale, how thousands of men were erased from existence due to her mere desire for glory.
She saw how her best friend, her greatest pillar since losing her memories, chased the shadow of her ghost and committed all sorts of atrocities in the name of a feeling he had always ignored, having been blind and stubborn.
But most of all, she saw how losing one's identity and completely dissociating from it turned out to be a completely self-destructive process for Natsuki Subaru, who became a threat comparable to the entire Witch Cult without even dying.
When she witnessed that particular parallel universe, the duchess had a revelation about her condition.
Crusch Karsten might have had the memories, the appearance, and the abilities of [Crusch Karsten]; but she would never again be the person she once was, nor did she want to be, not after learning the truth.
Minutes passed after her soul, now irreversibly changed and scarred, returned to her body.
To an ordinary person, it might have seemed that the duchess was simply contemplating the sky in solemn silence, but the truth was that her mind was fiercely battling against the effects of Gluttony's Authority.
The Guardian who held them against their will in that theater had not specified that the effects of Gluttony would not be erased, but at least they had the decency to let Crusch retain her recovered memories of herself and that person.
After a few minutes of pure agony, the Valkyrie's mind managed to reconnect with reality, though with great difficulty.
However, the first thing her eyes focused on was not the sky.
"What do you think you're doing?"
At that moment, a familiar figure towered over Crusch Karsten.
Her long green hair did not sway in the spring breeze of that day.
Her gaze was proud, noble, and severe, so intense that it was blinding for the duchess (in that moment, she hadn't realized she was staring at the sun).
Her figure was rigid, confident, and imposing like a lioness looking down at her imperiously, but she cast no shadow on the ground nor showed any real depth.
She was dressed in a blue uniform adorned with medals for a valor she did not deserve, in stark contrast to the elegant and feminine pink dress the duchess was currently wearing.
Still seated, Crusch could not explain the appearance of that figure, but she immediately recognized her.
That person's name was [Crusch Karsten].
"Can't you see that we're in a desperate situation? Your allies need you," [Crusch Karsten] chided like a general scolding a soldier for slacking off.
"Shut up," Crusch replied curtly. "You have no right to say those words to me."
"Oh? Now you know everything you need to win your battles, yet you still hesitate. You remind me a lot of Natsuki Subaru."
Hearing that perfect yet forbidden name spoken with such nonchalance, the royal candidate could not help but respond with barely contained rage.
"How dare you even compare me to someone like him! You, who sent him to die with your grand, meaningless words, have no right to tell me what I should or shouldn't do! I've already seen what happens if I act like you!"
The subject of these venomous words did not seem particularly disturbed by the duchess's outburst.
"You sound so sure of what you're saying, yet you do nothing to change things. Your eyes are clouded, and that blinds you to your future. You've lost your way, and that's made you lower your gaze because you refuse to admit the truth."
"That speech loses its value when spoken by a fool who deliberately leads her own army to death, abandoning and hurting the people who care about her."
"I don't think you've done much better, or am I wrong? You were destined to become a cripple who couldn't even hold a glass of water without struggling. You should consider yourself lucky to know the future."
"The only thing I should consider myself lucky for is that Natsuki Subaru hasn't abandoned us yet for our ingratitude or hasn't already become a calamity second only to the Witch! How can you be so sure of yourself when you have no reason to be, you lunatic!"
"Once again, you are proving to be a great disappointment, Crusch Karsten. Perhaps you and I really are two different people…"
"I hope so! How can you expect me to react so quickly to such an absurd situation!? It's this lack of empathy of yours that will lead us to failure! You made Ferris suffer with your clueless attitude!"
Once again, the face of [Crusch Karsten] remained stoic and unmoved. Her confidence almost seemed like arrogance.
"You claim that I am devoid of empathy, yet you are the one who ignored Ferris while we were talking, or am I wrong?"
After uttering that question, the hallucination of [Crusch Karsten] raised her left arm and pointed to something behind the royal candidate.
At that moment, Crusch heard a scream of ever-growing agony.
At first, it was muffled, as if her ears were stuffed with cotton, but as she followed the direction indicated by her mental projection, the screams increased in intensity until they became deafening.
Following the direction indicated by herself, Crusch realized what she meant.
Behind her stood Felix, who continued to scream at the top of his lungs as he slammed his bleeding forehead against the wall (just as Subaru had done in that tower). Two young servants were trying to restrain him, but the healer kept struggling fiercely, making them fall. It was a rare show of strength from the feline-looking knight.
At that moment, a third servant shook her to get her attention while she continued to stare in shock.
"Crusch-sama! What's happening to Felix-sama!?"
"..."
The royal candidate remained silent for a few seconds, but when realization struck, her pupils widened in astonishment.
"...A healer..."
"What did you say, Crusch-sama? I didn't hear you!"
"G-go call a healer! Immediately!"
At that order, the servant nodded and ran out.
Meanwhile, the green-haired noblewoman stood up and rushed toward her knight, but her legs were still trembling, like a fragile courtesan who had just finished surrendering her body. [Crusch Karsten] would have called it a disgraceful sight, unworthy of a royal candidate.
"F-Ferris, p-please, don't do this to yourself!"
However, at this plea, the Blue Knight only screamed louder, as if his very soul was being crushed by a snake.
Crusch didn't know what to do. Her knight's mind seemed unreachable, swallowed by an abyss of madness, and his lady had no idea how to handle him.
It felt like she had returned to the beginning, when she had just lost her memory.
While the three tried to restrain poor Felix, the servant burst into the room once again, this time accompanied by someone else.
The person in question was Reinhard van Astrea, not yet fully recovered from the shock, but ready to cooperate to calm the knight with feminine features.
Of course, the appearance of the Sword Saint was quite shocking for the duchess, who jolted violently when she saw him.
At that moment, the already gloomy expression of the knight grew even sadder, but she did not speak to her and instead approached Felix to drain his mana.
The process turned out to be more violent than expected, to the point that the healer's complexion quickly turned pale, like that of a corpse. The peace his features displayed was unnatural, appearing as if he was dead.
...Could it be that Reinhard had just killed Felix, his friend?
It wouldn't be surprising. Reinhard had already proven capable of staining his hands with the blood of his own... NO! That wasn't true, he must not think that way.
Everything was so wrong.
After laying him on the ground, Reinhard lifted the knight onto his shoulders and asked Crusch to gather the members of her camp and have them transferred to the Palace of the Muses, which would become the new headquarters.
Clearly, he did not want to face his grandfather personally, so he left that task to the duchess.
They found Wilhelm shortly after, collapsed in the middle of a corridor. He was panting heavily, as if he were about to suffer a heart attack.
For the first time, the Sword Demon looked like nothing more than an old man who had fallen from his wheelchair.
They called a healer to stabilize his medical condition and let him rest for the journey to the Palace of the Muses, while the emerald-haired royal candidate racked her brain trying to figure out how to handle the situation she was in.
Throughout all that time, no truly coherent thought crossed her mind on how to resolve the storm she had been caught in, but her intent was crystal clear: she would not make the same mistakes as [Crusch Karsten].
There was now an unbridgeable chasm between Crusch Karsten and [Crusch Karsten].
However, soon that single, fragile certainty she had just built would be destined to be swept away, like a house of cards in the midst of a storm. A storm named Natsuki Subaru.