Chapter 33

broken glass

True to her word, after Kagome arrived home post the debacle in the alleyway, she spent much of that day resting.

She slept for hours.

She slept so long she would hear her mother opening her door to fret and check on her in her brief moments of near-wakedness as the hours passed in flickers behind her shifting eyelids.

She had taken a long, hot bath, rinsing away all evidence of what had transpired. The scratches had already faded away to nothingness and her skin was left pale and unmarred just as before. Courtesy of her fathers genetics awakening within her, she had surmised to herself apathetically.

When she finally did drag herself out of bed it was only to pick at the dinner her mother had prepared, her eyes vacantly staring down at her plate. The chopsticks between her fingers picked at the individual grains of rice in her bowl, moving them around.

She had no appetite. Her stomach turned sickly inside her abdomen, twisting with a dark feeling that she couldn't stifle.

She could feel the pressing concern of her family. Could sense their unease spiking as they passed looks amongst each other around the table covertly. But no one spoke a word, unwilling to address the unmistakable off-ness that was permeating the air around her.

Despite the sudden, massive rise in her spiritual power, she felt wretched.

Felt like she wanted nothing more than a hole to open beneath her and for the earth to just swallow her up so she could rot in the darkness that seemed to be her kin.

But eventually, she shoved the shadowed remnants of her broken mental monologue into the very recesses of her mind, eating a few Styrofoam bites to placate her mother. A few moments later, when the silence had become too stifling, she excused herself with a hollow tone before locking herself in her room for the remainder of the night.

She packed her bag, stuffing it with all of the necessities that she was sure would be put to use in one way or another. A few extra sets of clothes, her spare toothbrush, the first aid kit, and a few other essentials. She would have to remind herself to throw some snacks in there for InuYasha before she left. The thought was almost cheerful enough to bring a smile to her face.

Lastly, she pulled the jar of jewel shards from the pocket, just to make sure that they were still there. Admittedly, Kagome had completely forgotten about them during her time here. The few shards that were contained by the thin layer of glass glimmered with an otherworldly opalescence, a wave of relief calming her a bit as her brain finally registered that they were safe, and she still had a way back to the feudal realm. She tucked them back into the side of her bright yellow backpack, fastening the clasp with a heavy sigh.

After that was done, her bag stuffed and neatly placed beside the door for her to grab on her way out, she was overcome by a wave of exhaustion. It washed over her, leaving her with a cold shiver that she could not shake. It was still early, and she had spent the day in bed, but regardless of either of these things Kagome crawled beneath her covers, sinking into the mattress with a heavy sigh. There was a deep uneasiness swirling in the pit of her belly, sitting heavy like a stone. But it seemed a bit more painless when she was settled under the weight of her duvet, stars shifting under closed eyelids as she tumbled head first into the void of sleep.

Kagome woke before her alarm had the chance to ring, the slatted blinds letting in fractions of weak, early morning daylight as the birds outside chirped noisily, flitting from branch to branch of the massive trees that surrounded the house. Her dreams had been intense and vivid, and seemed to grow more real with each night that passed. But honestly that was the least unusual thing in her life at the moment. It seemed like a foolish thing to focus on when there were much more pressing issues to deal with.

She had an unsettling feeling that Naraku's power had grown, and that they were all running out of time.

There was urgency laced in her footsteps as she ran through her morning routine, even though the had over an hour before she was set to meet Mamoru at the well. She was excited. The time that she had spent here in the present had been well spent, she supposed. Her power had grown, and despite the tragedy that seemed to mar her life she had learned a lot about herself. Physically, she was definitely stronger. The sparring she had been doing over the past few weeks was paying off, her body was a bit more lithe than before, and her archery alone had improved tremendously under Mamoru's careful training.

She couldn't help but worry, though.

She was... different, then when they had met last. There was no denying that. She didn't feel like herself. Gone was that bubbly, hot headed girl that she used to be. She had been hardened, drained by her experiences. He knew that she had been irrevocably hurt before, and he had been hoping that this time spent here with her family would do her some good.

But she knew now that there was no retrieving that version of herself ever again.

She couldn't go back. She didn't want to.

Dryly, she wondered to herself if this is what growing up meant. The void of pain that seemed never ending, a hole in her chest that was only added to and never had any time to heal.

But she tried to tell herself that those things didn't matter right now. InuYasha would love her regardless, he had sworn his loyalty to her and she knew better than to doubt his true feelings for even a second.

Though the little voice in the back of her head whispered nasty things, preying on her insecurities.

I'm sure Kikyo has been enjoying having him all to herself

Kagome shooed those evil words away, swallowing thickly.

It was foolish. InuYasha had reassured her many times that there was no comparison between the two of them, even if they looked similar. And he had proved himself enough in her eyes, there was no point in adding to her own stress. So she tucked those thoughts neatly inside a little box, shoving them far into the dark corners of her mind and locking them away.

She dressed practically for the colder weather, layering a chunky sweater over plain camisole and her basic black leggings. She would grab her shoes and coat as she was headed out the door, but for now she went through her mental list, double checking to make sure she had everything she needed for what Mamoru had said would be an "extended stay". It was important that she packed right, there was a lot of things they could get in the feudal era when it came to food and things like that, but when it was down to health and hygiene products she would be out of luck findings things she was familiar with.

When everything was set and she had double and triple checked her supplies, she slung the hefty bag over her shoulder and headed downstairs, hearing her mother quietly moving around the kitchen. She set the pack down by the doorway, drifting towards the sound of tinkling pots and the smell of food cooking.

"You're up early, Kagome." Her mother said with a soft smile, her brown her curling around her cheeks delicately as her brown eyes glistened with a maternal warmth.

Kagome nodded, taking a seat at the empty table with her eyes downcast.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm going to be gone for a while."

She watched as her mothers expression fell slowly, acceptance creeping its way onto her face as she merely bowed her head.

"Well..." She began after a long beat of silence, "You must make sure to eat well before you go."

Her tone turned brisk and she turned away, her intent shifting back to the hot stove where a few pots and pans were sizzling. Kagome noticed the rigid set of her shoulders beneath her beige blouse, saw the way she wouldn't meet her eyes again. She knew it made her sad when she left. Every time she stepped through that well there was no guarantee that she would ever come home. It was a stark truth that neither of them wanted to speak on, but regardless it was the harsh reality of their situation.

Her mother placed a bowl of hot soup in front of her, along with a bit of rice and a dish of natto on the side. She ate silently as Keomi did the dishes and packed a lunch for her brother, trying to eat as much as she could stomach because she knew that, at least, would comfort her mother in some way.

Time seemed to be passing quickly that morning, much to her chagrin, and soon it was time for her to go.

"Just please... be careful." Keomi had swept her up in a hug as she had tried to say her goodbyes, her thin frame holding her tightly, as if she would never get the chance again. Her words were heavy with emotion, laden with tears she desperately held back.

"Of course, Okasaan. Don't worry. I'll come back, I promise."

She meant it, and she hoped that her mother could sense the sincerity behind her words and take some peace from that. She didn't know why this departure felt so different than all the other times she had left, and she knew that she could sense it too.

She slipped away with a wan smile of reassurance, heading for the door.

The past was calling. The steady beat of her heart thumping against her ribs slowly built with excitement. She would be back in his arms soon.

Home

That was all that mattered in that moment.

She slid her sneakers on, tying her hair up in a loose ponytail after she had thrown her coat over her shoulders. She threw one last look over her shoulder to Keomi as she opened the door, met with the brisk air of the early morning. She waved goodbye, stepping out onto the covered porch with her back pack clutched in her grasp, breathing in deeply as she let the door shut behind her. She could sense Mamoru's energy nearby, getting closer. She figured he was probably walking, she didn't see why he would drive his fancy car just to leave it parked at the shrine while they were gone.

She took her time walking to the well, knowing that he would probably beat her there with his demonic speed even though it was barely thirty yards from the house. The sky was a pure, weak blue that reminded her of a pale hydrangea, scattered with thin clouds. The air was light and held a chill, the whisper of winter that lay not so far ahead. She hummed to herself quietly, the tune carrying on the breeze as she approached the wellhouse.

"Well, look who's on time."

Mamoru had appeared suddenly, leaning against the weathered wooden walls with a smirk. She rolled her eyes at his attempt at startling her, throwing her backpack over her shoulder. He wore a plain long-sleeved shirt and a fitted pair of black joggers, along with a duffle-bag that sat casually at his feet.

"We're wasting time. Let's go."

She impatiently pushed past him into the darkened wellhouse, ignoring his scoff and muttered "geez,". She had spent more than enough time her, and she had done what she needed to do. She was ready to go home.

"Close the door behind you." Kagome threw the words over her shoulder, approaching the well with an eagerness that built with each step she took. The tips of her fingers tingled with anticipation; her heart pounding a caustic rhythm inside of her chest. She could practically feel the energy building up around them, the portal slowly beginning to awaken in her presence.

"Yeah, yeah." The Yokai moved to do as he was told though his tone was a bit pithy.

Kagome ignored him, standing at the edge of the stone well with her own internal monolouge going a thousand miles per hour, her eyes dead set on the dirt-packed floor that seemed to lay only a treacherous fall away.

"You first princess."

She looked back to see him gesturing for her to jump, his brow quirked and the ghost of a smile of his face. She wondered if he was happy to be going back after all this time, though seventeen years can feel like nothing to an immortal being. She had never asked.

Without any further stalling, she took the leap, her stomach flipping as she felt the void open and swallow her up, and for a blissful moment she was floating through space and time before it spat her back out on the other side.

The air was fresh and clean, laden with the sounds of the wind moving through the trees and birds chirping as Kagome finally crawled her way out of the well. She landed in the grass with a huff, noticing immediately that the lushness of the landscape was quickly fading as the colder months came closer. But the sun was shining down on her in that moment, and her chest swelled with happiness. She flopped backwards, stretching out on the ground with her arms behind her head, gazing up at the clouds while she waited for Mamoru to make his entrance.

She was back. Finally. A part of her calmed instantly as soon as she had made it back, knowing that she was exactly where she wanted to be.

InuYasha

Her heart skipped a wild beat.

Thoughts of his lips working fervently against her own flashed through her mind, causing a heady sigh of longing to escape her. She was keen to hurry on to the village and back into the arms of her Hanyou but she had waited all this time already, a few more minutes wasn't going to kill her.

When the Tatsu Yokai lithely clambered out of the opening only a few seconds later she smiled, relieved because for a moment she had wondered if the well was going to reject him, the only other person it had allowed to pass through was InuYasha.

"Ah, I will say that I missed the lack of pollution here, I'd almost forgotten how clean everything smells." He said dryly, gulping in deep, greedy gulps of air dramatically, his nostrils flared.

She fought the urge to roll her eyes, getting to her feet and brushing the grass off of her clothes.

"C'mon already, let's hurry."

She turned to walk towards the tree line, following the slight path that was marked in the grass from the hundred times she had made this exact walk.

"There's no point in rushing." Mamoru said casually from behind her. "You'll be reunited with your boyfriend soon enough." He said the word like it was the dumbest thing he had ever heard, shoving his hands into his pockets. "You sure you know where you're going anyway?"

Kagome tossed him an acidic look, a silent warning not to ruin her mood.

"Alright, alright, fair enough." Her mute response was enough to keep him quiet for the rest of the walk.

She kept up a brisk pace, enjoying the fresh air. But Mamoru lingered a few yards behind, his expression unreadable as his eyes flickered around them.

Soon, the large red torii that marked the entrance to the village came into view, the stark paint making it impossible to miss as it towered over the sparse, run down buildings. She caught a second wind, quickly picking up speed until she was running, her feet flying against the loose dirt propelling her towards Kaede's hut at the top of the ridge.

The little orange fox burst out from the small structure before she had the chance to crest the hill, undoubtedly having sensed her energy as she drew close.

"KAGOME!"

The kitsune flew into her arms, capturing her in an ecstatic embrace and instantly wrapping himself around her, pulling her as close as he could get.

He held on to her like he thought she might disappear; his little hands were fisted in her sweater, a huge sob of relief leaving his body as he clung to her.

"Is that really you?" His green eyes had welled up with tears of disbelief as he pulled back to look at her properly.

She felt overcome with emotion, her own eyes starting to prickle with tears as she held him.

"It's really me, Shippo, I promise. I told you I'd be back." Her throat was tight but she managed to choke the words out, holding onto the small fox demon with everything she had.

A few moments passed, and after they had both calmed slightly and broke away from each other, the fox began excitedly chattering.

"Don't worry Kagome you didn't miss a thing! And I made sure to keep Miroku in line too. Oh! Sango is gonna be SO happy to see you, I think she really missed you a lot. They're both down by the river right now, let's go-"

He broke off suddenly, his brow quirked in confusion as his tail began to bristle of its own accord. "Hey, do you, uh- do you know this guy, 'Gome?"

She saw the very edge of a shadow looming out of the corner of her eye, and turned her head to see Mamoru standing a few feet away with a neutral look on his face. He had dropped the glamor at some point while he had lingered behind her, his blue-black hair spilling over his shoulders like silk ribbons waving in the breeze. She could tell he was weary of startling the Kitsune, sensing the motherly nature of her relationship with him easily.

"Yes. Shippo, this is Mamoru. He's a..." she trailed off, catching the Yokai's eyes for a moment, catching a flash of laughter there. "He's a friend of my dad's." She ended simply, knowing that she was going to have to answer this question a million times.

"Oh." The ginger Kit eyed the other Yokai shrewdly, crossing his arms over his chest, trying to look tough. "You're not sticking around, are you?"

Mamoru raised his eyebrows, obviously amused at the tenacity of the little demon before him. "I think I might. Seems like you guys could use all the help you can get."

"Hmph." Shippo was unimpressed with Mamoru's candor.

"Well, let's get one thing straight, I'm in charge here."

Without any pause he turned on his heel, stomping off towards the sounds of rushing water that lay just around the bend. "C'mon, 'Gome."

She couldn't help but laugh, passing a pointed look to the Tatsu Yokai who was chuckling to himself.

"Mark my words," he said with a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he followed after them, "that kid is going places."

They walked down to the water with the little fox leading them. She could sense his mistrust for the newcomer that was following her like a shadow, could see it plainly in the way he watched him from the corner of his eye but he said nothing more about it.

"Sango! Miroku! look who's back!" He called out, leaping through the reeds and disappearing in them, rustling his way towards the bank. Before Kagome knew it she was being suffocated in another crushing embrace, the dark-haired Taijiya having all but sprinted over as soon as Shippo had pointed her in the right direction.

"You have no idea how much I missed you." Sango whispered conspiratorially in Kagome's ear, in a way that only women can, a light dancing behind her eyes that was quickly extinguished when she saw the tall figure of Mamoru waiting patiently off to the side, letting them have their moment.

"Why Lady Kagome, would you mind introducing us to your friend here? I feel a bit rude not greeting him." Miroku began before Sango had the chance to start her questioning. He had his characteristic easy, unassuming smile plastered on his face but it didn't quite reach his eyes. His indigo orbs where sharp, holding a glint of open interest there that he didn't bother to hide.

Kagome sighed heavily. "He's fine guys, I promise. This is Mamoru, he's been training me. Tsukuyomi told him to come along with us, alright?" The three of them shared a look, Kagome clearly unwilling to elaborate any further. The hoishi turned his gaze comically to the Yokai who looked ridiculously out of place here in his modern clothing and obviously demonic appearance.

Mamoru put his hands up, "You won't even notice me, I swear."

"Whatever you say, Kagome." Sango pitched in after a beat of incredulous silence. "I'm surprised InuYasha is okay with this... you know how he gets."

Her heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name.

"Yeah well, speaking of that, where is he? I figured he would have been here by now." She looked around, almost expecting to see a flash of vivid red fabric just as the words left her mouth.

"Um, Kagome, we haven't seen InuYasha in well over a week now... we thought that he was with you..."

At Miroku's words her blood ran cold, a sudden chill ghosting over her skin like a rush of arctic wind. She whipped her head around, meeting his concerned gaze with alarm written clearly all over her delicate features.

"What do you mean? I haven't seen him at all. He was supposed to be here." She tried and failed not to let her panic leak into her voice, her hands already beginning to shake as her heart thumped erratically inside her chest.

Suddenly the sky didn't seem so blue.

"It's alright, 'Gome don't worry, you know Inu gets sidetracked sometimes. I'm sure he'll be back soon." Shippo tugged at the edge of her sweater, looking up at her with his wide, child-like eyes filled with innocence. Despite her distress, she offered him up a weak smile that faded almost as quickly as it had appeared.

"I really hope so."

The two of them spent the rest of the day settling back into the rhythm of the past. Mamoru acquired himself a plain, simple set of robes more suited to the time period. They were made of a light spun cotton, colored a dark ash gray and made him stand out a bit less, even if his skin still held the ghost of a blue tint, alluding to his true nature.

The villagers didn't seem to mind him much at all though, probably some other spell Tsukuyomi had worked, no doubt. He spoke with Kaede for a long time. The old woman was very interested in this Tatsu Yokai who worked so closely with the moon god, and Kagome couldn't say she blamed her. It seemed crazy enough that he was Tsukuyomi's acolyte just speaking the facts, and even more so when you were actually face to face with the mischievous entity who had such a boyish charm about him.

But Kagome's stomach was in knots the entire time.

It felt like she had swallowed a massive stone and it was sitting inside of her, pulling her down until she felt like she was drowning, but still somehow breathing.

This wasn't how she had pictured the day going at all. She was meant to be sitting beside him right now, cozied up in front of the fire with all of her friends around her as they all prepared to return to the shard hunt. But things had taken a left turn somewhere, and he wasn't here.

Her mind was buzzing with anxiety.

What if he's with Kikyo right now? Maybe he changed his mind...

Or worse

What if something bad had happened to him?

She had no way of knowing for sure and that made everything ten times worse.

She sat with her head leaned against the cold wall of the hut, her knees drawn up to her chest and her eyes staring vacantly into the crackling flames of the hearth.

Sango was preparing their dinner for the night, eyeing her friend with concern over the fire. Shippo played happily on the floor near the doorway, having opened up a fresh pack of crayons Kagome had brought back. He was having a ball, scribbling away on a bit of paper paying no mind to her dampened mood.

But there was no masking anything in front of the watchful Taijiya. They knew each other much too well now, anyway. After many, many days spent on the road sharing everything from food to secrets.

"Try not to worry so much." The girl's voice was soft, just barely able to be heard over the gentle bubbling of the pot she stirred. "He always comes back."

Kagome turned her head slightly, meeting her gaze. She drew her arms up around herself, trying to find the right words amongst the swirling amalgamation in her mind.

"Why does everything feel different now, Sango?" That darkness inside of her was back, crushing her full force with its massive weight. It had fled, briefly, for just a moment as she had made her way back to the village. But now she was left cold and just as empty as before. Hollow and hopeless, she was foolish to think he would be here waiting, foolish to think that he could help fill this void that was growing by the second.

"He was supposed to be here..."

Her voice broke slightly, a harsh whisper that she could barely choke out as her eyes overflowed with frustrated tears, pouring hot trails down her ashen cheeks.

The Taijiyas expression softened into one of sympathy, feeling Kagome's palpable sadness on the air, hanging over her like a rain cloud as she wept silently. Sango went to her, kneeling beside her and placing a light hand on her back. She didn't know what to say. She felt that offering someone who she considered to be a dear friend empty words of condolences was wrong. All she could do was be there with her, and let her know that she wasn't alone and that she had been dearly missed.

There was a camaraderie between them that only women could share. Kagome had been there when she was at her lowest, after the castle... after everything. She helped her learn to want to be alive again, she had craved death for so long. Even still the thought of joining her family was tempting. But no, she had made her own family here, and that thought was only reiterated as she comforted her friend, feeling her emotion as if it were her own. Kagome had been through so much in the past few months... Sango didn't blame her for reacting this way to finding InuYasha "missing".

In reality, it was quite odd that he had been gone for so long, but the Hanyou could take care of himself, Sango rationalized easily. She wasn't concerned.

Suddenly the woven bamboo flap Opened and Mamoru and Miroku bustled inside of the small hut, flooding the space with their presence and breaking the tender moment between Sango and Kagome.

The two were laughing amongst themselves.

"You know, this guy is starting to grow on me already, Kagome!" Miroku announced jovially, oblivious to the sadness that permeated the room.

But Mamoru was much more perceptive.

His darkened eyes zeroed in on her, immediately catching her tears.

"Why are you crying?" He said, stupidly, as if it weren't completely obvious.

Kagome turned her head to give him a shrewd, piercing look that was reserved just for him.

"You know why."

He narrowed his eyes, the light of the fire casting shadows across his oddly perfect features.

"Throwing a fit because your boyfriend's running late, princess?"

There was an acidic bite to his words that she didn't care for. She felt everyone inside of the small shack go still, eyeing the pair of them as she eyed him silently, a dangerous look ghosting over her face.

"Shut up, before you piss me off." She wrapped her arms tighter around herself. He should know well enough to leave her be when she was like this. But if there was one thing she had found Mamoru to be good at, it was pushing her. He had a habit of that.

"Are you playing dumb on purpose? Why do you think Tsukuyomi gave you that mirror? Use your brain." The Tatsu Yokai scoffed, rolling his violet eyes as he sat on the ledge by the firepit. The crackling of the flames seemed impossibly loud. Kagome could only stare at him blankly for a moment, her cheeks flushing red with hot embarrassment.

She really hated when he was right.

Later that night a hush had fallen on the inhabitants of the humble hut. The moon hung in a delicate silver crescent, its light just enough to cast weak shadows across the ground as clouds drifted across the velvet sky. While the others slept, Kagome sat just outside, her legs crossed beneath her and her fingers shaking as she delicately pried open the clasp of the compact mirror.

The gift from her father had completely slipped her mind in the passing days since receiving it. Everything had come down on her all at once, the assault in the alley having completely clouded the forefront of her mind. But now as she sat here with her heart racing she cursed herself for not thinking of this sooner.

The celestial mirror itself was still as beautiful as she remembered it. Carved, ornate and incredibly delicate. Her fingers lifted its fine scalloped edge, taking a deep, calming breath that stilled in her lungs. She envisioned her breath filling with reiki, feeling it swell in her chest. She exhaled, her eyes fluttering closed as the ebb and flow of her own spiritual power swirled within her like a rising tide.

When she opened her eyes and finally gazed into the mirror, the glass was aimed at the sky above her head, reflecting the endless expanse of stars strewn across the heavens.

There was a moment of pause where she wasn't quite sure of herself, recalling Mamoru's instructions as his heady voice whispered like smoke throughout her mind.

"It's not that hard to figure out, honestly. Open it, and tell it what you want to see."

Seems simple enough.

Kagome focused all of her reiki on the mirror itself, feeling it almost vibrate there in her palm.

"Show me InuYasha."

Her words were laced with energy, flowing through the air and bouncing off of the delicately carved mirror, a command that it could not refuse.

It seemed like an eternity passed.

In reality, it couldn't have been more than a minute or two, but it was long enough to where she could almost feel the hot sting of disappointment prickling behind her eyes.

But then, the reflection in the mirror slowly shimmered and changed. It went from the glittering black night to a foggy scene within seconds. Kagome had to squint to focus, her heart threatening to jump out of her chest and she didn't want to miss a single detail.

And then he finally came into view.

Golden eyes, sharp and molten beneath brows that were drawn down over them with an unmistakable intensity. The image wavered, like watching a reflection on the surface of a gentle pond.

"InuYasha!"

His name fell from her lips desperately, like a prayer spoken with such reverence that it broke the silence of the night around her.

But he was.. changed, altered, somehow.

She could see his lips drawn up over his fangs, curled into a sneer that made her heart skip a beat inside of her chest. But jagged, purple marks marred his tanned cheeks, not unlike when he was in his demon form.

Kagome's expression turned to one of confusion, her eyes raking over his face again, absorbing every last detail before he could fade away again.

He wasn't wearing his red robes. She didn't know how she hadn't realized it the instant she had laid eyes on him. It was so hard to make out the details in the tiny image that seemed to shift and alter before her eyes, but she gathered that there was some kind of crest marking the white collar of the kimono he wore. She took note of that detail, scouring every centimeter of the reflection for any more clues.

He was getting farther away. The image faded a bit, almost zooming out, giving her a better view of the background.

Black outlines of perfectly manicured trees jutted out against a deep purple skyline, a ruffle of a very familiar mokomoko and a rush of silver hair floating on an invisible breeze.

Sesshomaru?

As if things weren't confusing enough. Why would he be there? It didn't make any sense.

A mere moment passed and suddenly she was staring back at her own reflection again, her breath caught in her throat.

Kagome snapped the compact shut, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. A huge shuddering breath escaped her; heaving outward in a massive weeping sob, the sound was muffled. Her fingertips felt numb, zapping her own reiki between them wildly as she struggled to regain control of her emotions for a long, drawn out moment.

The weight of everything sat heavy on her shoulders in that instant.

InuYasha was alive, though he seemed to be stuck in some sort of stasis with his demon form… and he wasn't with Kikyo, as her insecurities had secretly accused. That in itself was a massive relief that she allowed herself to acknowledge.

It took her a while to make it back into Kaede's tiny hut, where the rest of her friends were sleeping, unaware of the happenings she had seen through her fathers celestial mirror. She sat by the river, watching the gentle current sweep past the reeds to lap lovingly at the shore. There was a peace there, with the wind whispering through the branches of the forest that was not so far away, the babbling of the water, and the crescent moon that hung in a sky that was free of clouds.

She took a part of that tranquility with her when she finally managed to make her way back up the hill. Pulled it deep within herself and stored it in her chest, feeling calmer and more level headed now as she soaked up the weak light of the moon.

As she came closer, she could see Mamoru crouched atop the roof of the small structure, his body silhouetted by the darkness of the night and the swaying trees around them. His eyes glittered unnaturally in the darkness, reflective like a cat's.

"So?" His voice was gruff, his pupils slitted as he looked down at her from his perch.

Kagome looked up at him incredulously, the tears not even having had time to dry as they streaked down her cheeks.

She supposed that if it had been anyone else they would have felt a cold chill of fear tingling down their spine looking up at this Yokai who was staring down at her predatorily, his eyes nearly glowing. But Mamoru's aura was a calm and familiar one to her. Tendrils of power swam around him, shimmering like fish jumping in and out of a serene sea. Something about him put her at ease. Inherently, she knew he would never harm her. Even if he pissed her off beyond words sometimes.

She hurried to wipe away the remnants of her tears from her cheeks beneath his watchful gaze, clearing her throat.

"He's okay, I think…" she couldn't help but to trail off nervously, gnawing on her lip. "Look, can you just come down here please? I don't know what I saw… he was with Sesshomaru, there was this crest…"

Mamoru was beside her in an instant, landing squarely on his feet as if he hadn't just pounced down ten feet. "Crest?" his dark brow perked up, his eyes shining with interest.

"Yeah, hold on, I'll show you."

Kagome murmured, disappearing into the darkened hut, returning a moment later with one of the crayons she had brought for shippo and a sheet of paper. She braced the paper against the roughened wood of the side of the house, the crayon picking up on every jagged line as she tried to draw what she had seen in the mirror.

"There, that's kind of it, I think." She murmured, handing it to the Yokai who analyzed it shrewdly.

The image was of three crudely drawn hexagons stacked atop each other like a pyramid, each of them holding a flower in the center.

His eyes met hers over the paper, flickering up between her and the drawing.

"You're sure this is what you saw?"

"Obviously I'm as sure as I can be, 'moru. It was on the robe he was wearing." She replied dryly, her hand cocked on her hip.

He folded the drawing up, tucking it neatly into the side of his kimono.

"What else did you see?"

"Um, some fancy trees, like in one of those gardens…" She didn't know why she felt uneasy, her mind flashing with how her Hanyou had changed. "InuYasha looked… different, I guess. He had markings on his face."

The Yokai looked thoughtful for a moment, looking down at the ground between them. "Hm. I see." Pale moonlight bathed his skin in an eerie glow, his features seeming especially sharp and unnatural just then. His fangs glinted dangerously in the low light as he seemed to chew on his words for a long moment.

"From what you've said it sounds like Sesshomaru has taken InuYasha to the west, for whatever reason." His tone held a false sense of boredom that she had come to expect from him.

"Okay? And just where is that, exactly?" She said exasperatedly, frustrated with how it always seemed like the Yokai was holding some information back.

He threw her a pointed look, his eyes swirling with mischief.

"West. Obviously."

Kagome could have throttled him.

"No shit. Well I guess it goes without saying that's where we're headed then. Or at least, that's where I'm going."

She turned on her heel, planning on leaving in a huff but a cold hand pressing on her shoulder stopped her.

"Right. As if I would let you go anywhere alone." He scoffed, his voice gruff as a lock of dark hair spilled over his face, clouding her from the raw intensity of his gaze.

Her eyes met his defiantly through his dark curtain of hair, mahogany clashing with his own vivid irises that swirled with too many colors to count.

"That's your job, isn't it?" She said, venom lacing her words. "You would think Tsukyomi would have told you about all this." She said suspiciously. "You couldn't give me a heads up?"

He stilled, his hand still pressed firmly down on her shoulder, holding her there as his eyes searched her own. She tried to read his expression but could garner nothing from it. His features were schooled into a perfectly blank mask that only served to irritate her even more.

"Well?" Kagome spat, pushing him, her hair having come loose from its ponytail at some point to whip around her in the cooling night breeze.

"I didn't know."

His voice was quiet, even, his eyes pouring into hers and she found it impossible to break away from him.

"Thought you knew everything. Thought you were his favorite acolyte. Can't you just ask him for help? Doesn't he call for you every night, Mamoru?"

She didn't know why she was being mean. She almost wanted to take the words back just as they spilled past her lips but it was too late. For whatever reason all of her anger and frustration spilled out, pouring onto him. In that moment, everything felt like his fault, but she knew that was far from the truth.

"It's not like that."

His hand fell away as he moved back, his claws gently dragging across the chunky knit of her sweater.

"You could never understand, Kagome." His voice held a pinch of sadness that made her heart twist in her chest, his eyes held a somber look in them that added to the weight on her chest.

"Just go to bed."

His face was shadowed but she could see the slight glaze of her that was cast across his features, he would no longer meet her eyes.

Before she could even attempt a sloppy apology he had turned and left; leaping into the trees not unlike InuYasha would. A heavy sigh left her then, as she stood alone in front of the sturdy little shack. She scuffed a rock with her toe, kicking it into the grass.

She hated this feeling, the guilt and emptiness that came after an emotional purge. Especially when some other unfortunate souls had to take the brunt of those emotions. Even if Mamoru was hard to read, and perhaps his true motives were unclear… he was still a friend, that much she was certain of.

Regret burned in her cheeks. Coming down from that rush of spite she was left feeling like she'd been too harsh. Finally, trudged inside the small, darkened home, lifting the reed curtain and quietly leaving her shoes by the door. She settled onto her futon in the corner, the hard floor beneath an unwelcome change from her soft mattress at home.

Sleep eluded her for a long time.

She tossed and turned for what seemed like hours, watching the sky shift with clouds through the small open-air window. Sounds of hushed heavy breathing filled the hut, soft grunts as Shippo twitched on his small futon closest to her. Miroku and Sango slept on opposite sides of the dark room, Kaede lumped under a thin blanket on the floor between them, peacefully snoring. She was grateful that the seasons had begun their change, the air was beginning to cool, the humidity ebbing slightly. In the summer months this enclosed room became miserable, she much preferred sleeping outside snuggled safely against her Hanyou.

A deep pang of sadness echoed through her chest at the thought, her throat tightening as her eyes filled with tears she refused to shed.

She didn't want to cry anymore.

But she missed him so much. She couldn't help but think how she should be with him at that very moment, but instead there she was laid on the cold floor, alone and just as empty as she was yesterday.

Hanako sat on one of the many furs that made up the bed that she would now share with Sesshomaru, twirling her white hair between her fingers nervously.

It was hard to believe she was actually there, in his innermost sanctum, waiting for her new mate to be relieved of his duties and retire back to his chambers for the night, presumably to ravish her.

The thought sent a blistering blush erupting across her delicate, lily white skin. Her heat was nearing its end, but she was still a slave to the instincts that were pounding through her veins. it felt wrong to be away from him. His scent still plagued her. Fresh fallen snow, and sweet pine. She longed for his return. She could think of nothing else.

She didn't know how long she lay there, twisting and turning over the layers of luxurious furs, her body aching to be close to her love. It was a pain that was completely foreign to her. She was almost terrified of the way she felt hollow when he was gone, like a part of her had been physically torn away. She wondered if he felt the same… hoped, even. But at the same time she would not wish this suffering on anyone, especially not the Daiyokai that she held so close to her heart.

She had been so at odds with herself all day that she hadn't even been able to tend to Rin. The poor child was probably so confused. But Hanako comforted herself with the knowledge that she was in good hands, and only just a stones throw away down a hall or two in one of the other rooms in Sesshomaru's wing of the palace. Jaken had recruited one of her own dear friends for the position, Mitadori, a doe yokai with a sweet disposition that she knew Rin would agree with.

She was glad for it. Her heat would not release her from its clutches for a day or more yet. And then, when it was over, she would formally be taken as his mate, in front of the entire court. She assumed he would call her family down from the mountains, it was only right. She would have to remember to speak to him about it later, when her brain wasn't so polluted with such hazy and wicked thoughts..

The only thing keeping her sane was the fact that he would return soon. The sun had sunk behind the mountains, the moon risen behind scattered clouds in an overcast sky. The shoji windows were thrown open, letting in a cool breeze that soothed her heated skin.

It seemed like even the thin linen of the yukata she had hastily changed into was too much fabric for her. She was suffocated even as a breath of wind brushed along her sensitive skin.

And then, all at once, she could sense him approaching. Hanako instantly perked up, her heart racing in her chest as her blood hummed with excitement. She could feel his demonic energy teasing along her own as he drew closer, comforting and warm, two words she would have never thought would be used to describe the killing perfection that came for her now.

The hearth crackled quietly, the light from its lowered flame flickering over her scantily clad form as he finally threw open the heavy wooden doors that separated them.

"Sesshomaru."

She breathed his name, a sigh of relief.

His eyes seemed to be lit from within, molten pools of gold that she wanted to drown in. His gaze traveled down her body slowly, bouncing along her curves with a pleased air about him.

"Forgive me for leaving you for so long…" his voice was even and cool, betraying nothing of his true emotions. He stood stock still in the doorway, his shoulders square and his mokomoko whispering in the breeze that flitted in from the open windows. "Many things require my attention at the moment. I realize that the timing is not ideal."

He began to slowly stride forward as he spoke, dropping articles of his clothing as he did so, tossing them carelessly to the floor.

The panes of his muscular chest were revealed as he shed his armor and kimono wordlessly, his sharp eyes never leaving her.

Hanako swallowed thickly, unable to speak for a long moment as she watched his body without shame. Everything about him screamed alpha to her heightened instincts, from the way he moved to the way he could instantly command any room he walked into with nothing more than silence. It was insanely attractive to her. He lit her up in ways she never even knew existed, without even trying.

"Of course." She murmured finally, finding her voice again. "I've missed you…" it came out as barely more than a heady whisper, laced with desire, her lavender eyes finally drifting up to meet his through her long lashes.

She found warmth there, fondness even. His expression softened slightly, his version of tenderness, she was coming to learn.

"I… I have missed you as well." He finally knelt beside her on the pile of furs, his hakama hanging dangerously low around his cut waist. His scent was quickly clouding her mind of all reason, his proximity making her heart race even faster. His confession flowed past full lips, dancing on the air like music.

Sesshomaru may as well have gotten on his knees and sung her a sonnet, the few words were that monumental coming from him. He was not one to speak on his feelings easily, this she knew very well.

One of his large hands came up to gently cup the side of her face, and she instantly leaned into his touch, sighing with contentment. There was an immediate feeling of ease that flowed between them both, and Sesshomaru had to admit that even he was surprised. He had never expected to feel this way. He could sense her, always. Even as he was on the other side of the palace throughout the day he could feel her yokai energy pulsating, calling like a sweet siren song that he could not shake. No matter how hard he had tried to focus himself on his duties he could not banish the thought of her from his mind, not even for a moment. Her scent clung to him like a second skin.

Sex, honeysuckle, and pheromones.

And now, as she soaked up the small show of affection he gave, he was overcome by the intense perfume of desire and absolute devotion that seemed to cloud the entirety of his den.

It went beyond love. That was a human emotion. The bond they now shared was indescribable, and would only grow as the years passed. She was his. Purely, completely. Body and soul.

He stared into her lavender eyes that were so inescapably lovely, filled with adoration. He could see his reflection in her darkened pupils, her eyes large and dilated with want.

His gaze traveled lower as he let the very tips of his claws gently scrape against the delicate skin of her neck, towards the triangle of cleavage that was barely covered by the thin linen garment that she wore. He took a special delight in watching her shiver, her lip caught between her teeth while she careened towards his touch.

Sesshomaru did not care to draw the moment out any longer. He could feel his blood surging elsewhere, throbbing as his body began to truly ache for her. Finally, he caught her mouth in a passionate kiss, a deep growl loosing itself from his throat.

Hanako melted against him, eagerly reaching for his hips to pull him closer as their tongues intertwined messily, licking and biting animalistically.

"Yes, please," she whispered against his lips, begging, her voice heavy with want.

He loved when she begged.

His hands claimed her body, pulling her onto his lap with ease. He sat between her thighs, pulling the yukata from her shoulders without breaking the kiss, revealing her naked skin to the night air. He felt her shudder with relief, a low moan escaping between their melded mouths as she pressed even closer, her pert breasts brushing against the hard panes of Sesshomaru's chest, igniting his passion even further.

Her skin was as soft as a freshly bloomed peony, silky and warm beneath his clawed fingers. He could feel her pulse jumping, the sweet perfume of her desire heavy on the air like smoke.

It was beyond intoxicating.

He wasn't one to lose control easily. It was something that he coveted, held high above all else and he gripped it tightly, close to his battered heart.

But something about her…

It made him begin to forget why he had ever valued such a thing when losing himself in this feeling was pure ecstasy.

When he finally took her he did it slowly, bringing her to release several times before filling her deeply with his seed. He took an odd sense of pride in knowing that at this rate, she would soon be heavy with his pups. And even if she wasn't already, he would greatly enjoy continuing to try.

When they both had calmed a bit they laid together, their bodies intertwined as closely as possible. Hanako lazily watched the embers crackle in the bottom of the hearth on the other side of the room, the sparks reflecting in her violet eyes while Sesshomaru studied her.

She ran a gentle hand along his chest, feeling him relax beneath her fingertips.

Sharp golden eyes that seemed to hold a millennia in them grazed over her sloped nose that was dappled with light freckles, pausing on her full, rosebud lips that were set in an alluring pout.

She was the embodiment of femininity in his mind. No female had ever even come close to this level with him. Not to say he had never indulged himself in any sort of explicit activities with a few nameless Yokai in the past; it had never been anything like this. He had never craved someone in such a way.

Not even just the physicality of it, but her presence alone seemed to ease his mind. He felt whole when he was with her… as odd of a revelation as that was.

Everything about her called to him.

His grip tightened possessively over her rounded hip, pulling her even closer as his eyes seemed to soften.

She seemed to sense his shift in energy, her eyes flickering upward to catch his gaze, lips lifting in an easy smile as if to silently reassure him. Her body was so warm where it intertwined with his own, both of them quickly having grown unabashed in their nakedness together. It felt natural.

"Koibito.." the word fell from her lips in a soft murmur, her lids heavy, eyes shining with adoration. Hanako was not one to hide her emotions, at least not when she was with him. It was one thing he had come to admire about her, truly. He didn't have to guess at how she was feeling, or be weary of her having ulterior motives.

He had seen into her soul and back.

And she had done the same. She would never betray him. And when she smiled at him like that he was certain that he would do whatever it took to keep her happy.

Sesshomaru traced his fingers along the valley of her naked curves, feeling her shiver deliciously beneath his clawed finger tips.

"Yes, mate?" His voice was a river of silk cascading over her skin, low and luscious. She made a keening sound of appreciation instinctually, pressing even closer to the DaiYokai's sculpted form with happiness practically bursting from her chest. She loved when he called her that. It made her feel shy and immensely grateful at the same time. How she had managed to attract such a perfect being she would never know. He seemed so otherworldly. His head cocked to the side as his eyes like molten pools of honey studied her, his long hair falling over his shoulder in a river of silver. The flickering light of the flames licked along the panes of his muscles, and she could not help but to admire him for a moment longer before she finally spoke.

"I would give anything to be able to peek in on your thoughts, even for a moment." She whispered with an irreverent smile pulling at the corners of her lips, her eyelashes fluttering prettily against her cheek as her gaze lingered over the smooth expanse of his chest.

His expression didn't change, it remained impassive but she could feel him still against her, his breathing slowed as he seemed to chew on his response for a long breath.

"I realize that I can be… guarded."

His voice was cool and even like a river rushing over smooth rock. Hanako looked up at him through fluttering eyelashes, sensing there was more he wanted to say.

"But you should know that I am… trying." He seemed to struggle finding the word for a moment, a brief flash of annoyance marring his perfect features. "I swear that I will always try."

Hanako was overwhelmed with emotion, that feeling of pure adoration she had for him blossoming, pouring outward as she beamed up at him, her lavender eyes glossing over with happy tears. She wanted him to feel it, to know that she loved him. He cradled her hand there against his heart, his eyes like pure molten amber capturing her own effortlessly.

She let her hand slip away from his own to cup his jaw gently, noticing how he instantly stiffened, but made no move to stop her. She drug her thumb across his porcelain skin, her long pointed nails pressing against the smooth magenta mark that struck across his cheek like lightning.

She could not help but to admire his masochistic beauty.

"I know this, Sesshomaru."

She always spoke his name like a prayer, the word coming out silky and hushed.

"I care for you, I wish for nothing but your happiness. You are safe with me."

Violet met molten gold as Hanako leaned in to seal the vow with a searing kiss.

No one had ever said such a thing to him… the killing perfection… he was a ruler over the kingdom of his forefathers, he had slain beast and demon alike with little thought or effort. And yet when she spoke to him in such a way he felt a part of him soften and bend. He believed her.

For the first time in his life, he felt safe.

A/N: If you're still here I love you