V Wolf, A Gravity Falls Story: Act 2

by BobbyE

While Vito is off trying to balance his life as a high school student and as a paranormal investigator, Dipper and his friends start suspecting the federal government's activities in Gravity Falls. Dipper believes that a shadow government is in control of the town and all of Roadkill County after noticing the Weirdmageddon dome. Gravity Falls has gotten stranger than ever.

4. Chapter 4

V Wolf, A Gravity Falls Story: Act 2 Episode 4

Rock Monster From The Lake

A conspiracy theorist and self-proclaimed journalist named Hunter J. Mercury started recording for his latest video at two o'clock at night to upload on his YouTube channel and website Paranormal News, also known as Paranormal News Network. He is behind a green screen covering one of the plastered walls in his condominium in Gravity Falls, trying but failing to keep quiet while his wife and son are asleep. He is preparing to make a dramatic opening while reading off his script that was taped underneath the video camera. Hunter J. Mercury is overweight, has a five o clock shadow, and is starting to go bald, wearing sunglasses even though it's in the middle of the night and he's inside, an orange vest with a multicam shirt underneath with a pen in its front pocket, a tan boonie hat, and blue jeans, and is smoking through a extended cigarette filter. He says to the camera: "Greetings my viewers. We're all interested in the paranormal and speculations, for that is where you and I will spend the rest of our lives. And remember my fans, past, present and future events such as this will affect you in the future. You're into the strange, paranormal, and conspiratorial, and that's why you're here watching this video. And for the first time, I've seen a giant monster come out of Lake Gravity Falls and I've got it all on video on a hidden camcorder. I'm not making any of this up or speculating, you're about to see all of the evidence based on this video footage. The witnesses, the deaths, the destruction, my viewers we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us show this to anyone who'd doubt us, let us gloat with our believers. My viewers, can your friends and family stand the shocking fact of Harold, the rock, head island monster from Lake Gravity Falls?!"

Four days ago

It's Wednesday afternoon, the pines twins and Al ditched middle school to help Wendy, Tambry, Robbie and his bandmates (Robbie V and the Tombstones) try to find inspiration for their song writing. His amateur heavy metal band are going to play at the Friday night music festival at Lake Gravity Falls, and they need help. Luckily for them, Dipper found a source of inspiration for them. The kids and Wendy are communicating in her truck with Tambry, Robbie and his bandmates over the phone through speaker who are in Robbie's van. "You are sure that spooky book is there?" Robbie asks Dipper on the call. "Yes, I'm sure it's there at the Gravity Falls library. Odd how I never rented that book of the damned from the library. I saw it one time during two of my adventures with Mabel and it looked intriguing. I was too busy with Grunkle Ford's journals." Dipper added. "I think I remember seeing it too when that puppet guy was doing his show. That book looked like it was made out of human skin and had bones on it." Mabel said over the call. "That book sounds awesome, like something out of that one movie where this funny, badass demon slayer has a chainsaw for an arm after losing his girlfriend and his arm, and the sequel where he gets sucked into another time period." Al said. "Would you read that book of the damned Wendy?" Al then asks her. "Eh, I don't know. Probably, maybe, probably not, maybe not. Reading sounds like too much work." Wendy answers him. "Hey Robbie, we'll meet you there at the library." Wendy tells him over the phone. "Gotcha, later Wendy. Also, thanks kids for skipping middle school to help me." Robbie said before Tambry ended the call for her boyfriend who was driving. "Hey, I overheard what happened between you and that Stefanie Schwab bitch from my brother cursing out loud on the phone. You didn't deserve any of that. If it makes you feel any better, I made an urban dictionary definition of Stefanie Schwab that makes fun of her." Al tells her. "God I know. Look let's talk about something else. Okay?" She asks him. Al gives her a thumbs up. Dipper had his hand up with his finger pointing up, as he was about to ask something, but then put his hand down. "You think they'll find out we skipped school?" Dipper asks Mabel and Al. Mabel shrugs her shoulders while Al responds, "Who cares?" "I've done this countless times, and they never caught me. Not even my parents caught me. Even Vito back then didn't give me flack for it." Al then comments. "Did he ever tell on you?" Mabel asks Al. "Hell no. We both know our parents are pure evil." Al answers. "What? They can't be that bad right?" Mabel wonders. "Mabel, Al is right. Their parents ARE THE WORST. They're prudish, loud, bigoted, and they're the reason why Vito is like that. His dad is a whoreson creature. He raised and groomed Vito to be a killer. And I thought my family was horrible. I can't imagine what it's like to live with them." said Wendy. "Really? I mean I know they're nutcases who got arrested for public indecency and shooting at people, but they gotta have some good things about them." Mabel said. "I haven't met them yet, and I know they do know how to get approbation from people." Dipper remarked. "You don't say bro." Al said sarcastically. "Sister, trust me. They're the worst, ever. You do not want to know them." Al tells Mabel. "I'll take your word for it. That article I read, and episode of cops were something." Dipper said to him. "You don't know the half it. Believe it or not that wasn't the first time I saw my mom doing it with other men." Al then said. Wendy is shocked from hearing that. Dipper and Mabel look at him in confusion. Al then decides to change the subject two seconds later. "Is this book of the damned exactly what I'd expect? Blood for ink in writing, spells, list of monsters, and other scary stuff and crap?" Al then asks Dipper. "Probably. But I'd love to read it to look more into the paranormal." Dipper answers him. "That's because you're too busy writing in your own journal doofus." Mabel elbows Dipper's shoulder in a playful manner. "Speaking of which, one of the other gifts I got from my birthday from our grandpa was one of those old ham radios, and I remember that lingo Colonel Walker and those soldiers were speaking through the radio. They're speaking in a cipher. I just need to find out which channels they're using so I could translate what they're saying." Dipper brings up to Mabel and everyone else in the car. "Yeah man, they weren't using the NATO phonetic alphabet, police radio codes or anything I've heard of before from feds. This just makes things even more interesting about this thunderbirds PAD cell my brother started working for." Al replied. "Do both of your parents know he's working for the government now?" Wendy asks. "Hell no. Mom and dad would be livid if they found out. They hate the federal government and feds. Vito may have started getting mad at me for stupid things recently since we started moving here, but we never ratted each other out." Al answers her. "Your relationship with him doesn't sound that bad." Mabel tells him. "I just hate it when he gets angry, so so angry. It's the same thing with our parents; they often fight and all I can do is stay out of it and head to my room." Al said. "That doesn't sound like fun." Wendy said. "How come V isn't coming with us?" Al then asks. "I was about to ask that too. I have so many questions about the organization he works for and that black wizard guy." Dipper states. "Vito said he's busy doing some training with Malik, controlling his werewolf powers and all that. He also said he's learning about ciphers and how to read, understand and even how to speak in them." Wendy tells them. "That man is living my dream job." Dipper said to himself.

While they were chatting in Wendy's truck, Robbie, his girlfriend and his bandmates are having their own chit chat while in his van. "Why does your name have to be in the title of this band again?" One of his bandmates asked. "BECAUSE SEAN ITS MY BAND! Why do you think I am the lead guitarist and lead singer?" Robbie explains to Sean. Sean has long blonde hair and has the facial hair and looks of a Viking, wearing a sleeveless navy-blue tank top, rugged tan cargo pants, a mjolnir pendant, and has Norse symbols tattooed on his arms and neck. "All I'm saying is that we could come up with a better title for our band is all. How about just 'The tombstones?'" Sean asks. "I'd call our band 'Lesbian Chainsaw Abortions.'" Andy gave them his idea. Andy is wearing torn grey jeans, a slayer graphic t shirt, a sleeveless denim jacket with tons of patches, a bullet belt, and has long black hair and a soul patch and is medium brown. It was a miracle he didn't slur that sentence as he was totally drunk. "What about Paul's Ghost Squad?" Paul asked. Paul is a pale, shirtless fat guy with a Pantera tattoo on his chest, sporting a baggy, camouflage shorts, a chain wallet, and a skater shoes. While they were debating what to call Robbie's band, Tambry is about to ask her annoyed boyfriend a question. "Honey, where did you meet these people? I never seen them before in my life." She then added. "We've met them before during the Woodstick festival. Both of us even had fun in their ride remember?" Robbie then asks her. "Oh yeah. We were both totally wasted that night." Tambry then remembers. She then goes back on her phone, listening to the instructions of her gps app. "So how long have you been putting up posters of your band? I've heard talk that'd you would perform with a crew on stage but never showed up." Sean brings up. "I was working on getting bandmates, but I didn't find the right people till now. It takes time." Robbie explains, still frustrated. "I have one more question to ask." Shawn tells him. "What?" Robbie asks. "Do you have any experience playing guitar and playing on stage?" Sean questions him. "Duh of course I do." Robbie said. "Name one song you wrote and sang." Sean tells him. Robbie struggles to come up with an answer. One of his bandmates Paul, starts remembering a song he did and smiles as he says "Holy shit! You're that Wendy guy! That song was so bad it's funny!" The rest of his bandmates in the back of his van began laughing after realizing that they were riding with an internet lolcow in the rock and metal community. Robbie's cheeks were turning red out of embarrassment. Tambry began cringing as they played footage of his audition for the singing competition show, Metalhead idol. "Ugh, it was a different time. Alright man. She's just one of my exes for fuck's sake!" Robbie yelled. "Guys we've made it to the library. Where are you guys? And is that…?" Wendy asks them over the speaker phone. Robbie in rage gets his hands off the wheel to snatches one of their phones, struggling to do so and forcing Tambry to take the wheel, as he left the van drifting into the left side of the road, barely avoiding getting hit by a semi-trailer truck. Robbie grabbed the phone and throws it out of the driver door's window. "We're on our way, just one minute." Tambry answers her lifelong friend as Robbie gets back on the wheel.

Robbie parks his van across the street from Wendy's truck, who parked right next to the library. They meet Wendy and the kids in front of the building. "Ew reading." One of Robbie's bandmates joked. Robbie was smiling till he saw someone he didn't know. "Who are you?" He asks confused. "This is Al, one of Dipper's and Mabel's new friends. He's fun. You met him at the party. Right?" Wendy then asks him. "I think I saw him there, but I never talked to him." Robbie replied. "Aren't you Vito's little brother?" Tambry asks. "Yes, I am. He's the guy who helped Wendy kill those school shooters and rescue those people, kind of." Al said to her with his hand behind his hand out of nervousness. "Oh no, you're related to that lunatic?" Robbie asks, annoyed while rolling his eyes. "How is he a lunatic for ripping and tearing bad guys?" Al asks, ready to get defensive, while raising an eyebrow. "Have you not heard that Vito transformed into a werewolf in front of our eyes while going on a hateful, drunken tirade that night!?" Robbie asks him, "Shut the hell up, he's been through a lot. Piss off." Al tells Robbie. "What did you say to me?" Robbie asks, offended. "Guys, guys, let's just find that spooky book. Okay?" Wendy breaks it up before it starts. "Whatever. Let's hope nobody rented it yet." Robbie said as they head inside. Mabel, Al, and Wendy follow Dipper through the rows of bookshelves to find Dr Crackpots book of the damned while Tambry stands in the crime section with Robbie and his bandmates, who were searching for song writing material of their own. "It should be here in the horror section." Dipper tells them as he looks through the books that are organized alphabetically. It wasn't there. "What the heck? It should be here." Dipper said to them. "Uh oh, maybe someone else got to it first." Mabel theorized. "Let's check the front desk to see what happened to it." Dipper suggests. "Good idea." Wendy agrees with Dipper. They go to the front desk to ask one of the librarians. "Ma'am, do you know what happened to that Book of the Damned?" Dipper asks the old librarian. "Kid, that book was taken off of shelves days after that apocalypse ended along with every other 'spooky' book." She tells him. "But why though?" Dipper asks. "What if it's just some fictional horror book?" He then asks her with another question. "The fictional ones are fine, anything else we took off the shelves." The librarian said. "It wouldn't happen to be behind your counter. Would it?" Al then asks. "None of your business kid. Are you and your friends going to rent a book or not?" The grouchy woman asks. "Are they any comic books, graphic novels, manga, anything with pictures in it?" Al asks. "Yes." The librarian answers in unhappy tone. "Nice!" Al says out loud, with two thumbs up. Dipper and the librarian shush him. Al goes the comic book/manga section and Mabel joins him. "Darn it, looks like they don't have it." Dipper complained. Wendy doesn't believe they don't have it and brings him to one of the rows of books. "Listen, I think Al might be on something. They must have it behind the counter or have it some special room." Wendy whispers to Dipper's ear. "But who do we get to steal the book of the damned? And what kind of plan do we come up with, so we don't get caught?" Dipper whispers, questioning her. Dipper and Wendy start thinking of a plan.

About five minutes later, Wendy and Dipper have come up with a plan to distract the librarian so Robbie and one of his bandmates can sneak in and find the book of the damned. Al and Mabel stand a few feet away from the librarian at the counter to make small talk. "Gee outside of the books and magazines with pictures in them, it SURE IS BORING AROUND HERE." Al said to Mabel. "Mmmm hmmm. They don't have the coloring sticker books I'm looking for." Mabel said while rolling her eyes in disappointment. "What should we gawk at instead?" Mabel asks. There is a short pause of silence that lasts about twenty seconds before Al has an idea. "Oh, I know! How about we look at those magazines of fully clothed women?" Al asks out loud. "I always was kind of curious about those!" Mabel said loudly to Al, as they run to the adult section. "OH NO YOU DON'T!!!!!!" The librarian screams like a banshee, chasing after them. Wendy and Dipper look from a few row shelves away from them. "It's working. Now Robbie and that Saul guy can get in and take the book we're looking for." Dipper said to Wendy. "Who knew this place would be devoid of security cameras and blind spots?" Wendy asks Dipper with a smile and they both high five. As they were talking and watching their plan unfold, Robbie and Paul go behind that woman's counter and look through its file cabinets. "Anything?" Robbie asks Paul as he just clicks on random icons on the counter's desktop computer, hoping something related to that book would show up. Paul breaks the lock for one of the file cabinets with his pocket knife and looks through the file cabinets, tossing anything out that didn't have anything to do with the book of the damned, until he found a tan folder with the logo of the OCI, a bald eagle using a magnifying glass, and the word "classified" in big, red capital letters. Paul looks through it and it contains a page attached to it through a paper clip, he reads that Dr CrackPot's book of the Damned is very dangerous because it contains dark magical spells, abilities, summonings and incantations that do pose threats to both the user and everything else around them, and that it shouldn't be read by anyone. "Boring!" Paul shouts as he threw the folder away and over the counter. "What was that?" Robbie asks while he was fooling around on the computer. "Oh, it's nothing, some gay ass shit about the book being cursed or whatever." Paul replied as he's looking through the file cabinet, and then he finds it, Dr Crackpot's book of the Damned. It had bones attached to the book's spine and head, and front cover. The book looked like your average necronomicon, but with a title at the front cover. "Found it." Paul said to Robbie, showing him the book. "I'll be damned, Dipper wasn't lying, this book of the damned is here. Terrible pun intended." Robbie said to Paul. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING AT THE COUNTER!? GET OUT! GET OUT OFF THE CHAIR RIGHT NOW!!!" The elderly librarian ordered them loudly and angrily. She caught them off guard. "First, I deal with those pervy brats and now teens playing office. I'm calling the cops if you don't leave right now, and if they don't show up, I'll grab my shotgun that's loaded with rock salts!" She yells at them. "We gotta bail right now." Wendy said to Dipper. They both flee from the scene through the front entrance. "Where's Al and Mabel?" Dipper asks. They then see them on the back of Wendy's truck waving their hands at them. They get onto the rear seats of her truck as Dipper and Wendy buckle up and leave as if a bomb was going off at the library. While that happens, Robbie and Paul make a break for it with the book and lose her and hide in the men's bathroom. "Christ man, we're fucked. Now what?" Paul asks. "Bruh there's a window right there stupid. Let's open it before that old hag bursts through the door." Robbie tells Paul as he opens it and goes through it, but as he leaves through it, he falls into the back dumpster. Paul follows him and spots Robbie's van in the back with Tambry in the passenger seat. "Fucking grody, used needles." Robbie complained when he saw a needle stuck to one of his arms. He saw there are used needles among the other trash in it like torn up paper, half eaten food and drinks, and other garbage. "Used needles, that sounds like a decent song title." Paul says as they get out of the dumpster and get into Robbie's beat up van. They drive out of the library's back, regrouping with the rest of Robbie's bandmates. "The plan worked perfectly, that was awesome Dip!" Al congratulated Dipper. They give each other high fives. "Aren't you guys a little bit worried about what could go wrong with that book though?" Mabel asks. "Nope." Al answered with confidence and a smile. "Not really." Wendy replied. "It's okay sis, it's probably a bunch of nonsense anyway. Everything is going to go great at the Friday night concert at Lake Gravity Falls." Dipper assured her, trying to be confident without feeling anxious, and he's failing horribly by. He's sweating profusely.

Meanwhile Malik and Vito are done from training in the gravity falls forest and head back inside the mystery shack to their base underground. "How did I do this time captain?" Vito asks Malik. "You did slightly better when it comes to controlling your anger that can make you transform, but that's not saying much. Everything else and especially in combat, you excelled, even better than most of the thunderbirds squad. Third to only me and Blaze." Malik tells him. "I promise I'll train even harder just to piss Blaze off." Vito said to Malik as they go back inside the Mystery shack through its front door. "Sup dudes. How did training go this time?" Soos asks them. "Better than I expected, not going to lie Soos." Vito said to him with a grin. "Today's training with Vito was good. Much better than that one time where he ripped and tore apart a deer carcass and played with it in front of nuns and children like it was a puppet." Malik said to Soos honestly. Vito's grin disappeared and transformed to a resting bitch face, rolls his eyes as he corrects his commander "AS A WEREWOLF." "Yes Vito, as a werewolf named V Wolf." Malik then added. "Yo dude that's sick." Soos said, excited. "Was he like 'Yo nuns, look what I can do?'" He then asks them. "Yes." Vito said to him. "That is one way of putting it. You made the nuns and Sunday school children scream and cry." Malik then scolds him. As Malik punches in the code A-B-1-C-3 on the vending machine, opening the door to the Thunderbird's secret base, he gets a call from his phone. "Hello?" Malik asks over the phone as he and Vito head down the stairs to the elevator. "Hello, mister Bylilly? It's Annie, some kids got behind the counter and stole item 916, a necronomicon. They got away with it." The librarian tells him with worry. "Oh no. This is serious. What did these kids look like?" Malik asks her over the phone. "They looked like they came from hot topic and edgy on purpose." Annie said. "I don't know what that is." Malik told her over the phone. Vito pretends he isn't listening to his conversation on the phone by checking his text messages. He's gotten a bunch of text messages from Dipper in the span of a minute, and one from Wendy telling him how their graffiti about Stefanie spread fast despite being cleaned up by the janitor a day later. "They looked like metal heads. For all I know they could be those freaks that are worshipping that chip with one eye and a hat." Annie explained. "I see. I'll be there right now with some PAD grunts." Malik said as he and Vito both got out of the elevator and walk into the underground, Thunderbird safe house. Manly Dan was lifting weights in the lounge area even though he wasn't supposed to, Mole Moe who they passed by was on the security cameras and on the main computer, and Blaze and Arturo were playing darts. Before Vito went to the pool table to relax, with his pool cue ready to hit the cue ball on the billiard, Malik had something to say to him after he hangs up. "Private Vito, I have some urgent issues to attend to. Unfortunately, I'll have to get Blaze here to quiz you what the protocols of the PAD are. You'll have to do it at the meeting table where you two first met." Vito and Blaze glared at each other as he puts the pool cue away, and as Malik heads back to the elevator. Vito looks at his phone again to look at Dipper's messages to him. "Hey! You can't use your phone here! Did you forget the rules while being here?" Blaze scolds Vito. "Blaze, I get it, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but believe it or not this is work related. I'm talking to the kid who has information about the other journals, journals one and two. Malik had me do this assignment a few days ago and this kid kind of became my friend." Vito explains. "Well, reply to that Dipper kid later. Its time for a pop quiz of PAD rules." Blaze demands him. "ONE MINUTE." Vito tells him as he wraps up the reply to Dipper's texts that consist of "Ummm Vito," "I might need some help," "It's important," "I saw someone take a book of the damned," "I think something horrible is about go down," "Please pick up." Vito was annoyed at first by the sudden barrage of text messages. He took a deep breath and typed down and sent to to Dipper "Sorry kid, but I'm at work. I'll chat with you about this tonight." He then puts his phone away. "Just so we're clear, when you're with me, you keep five steps back away from me were-beast, and I won't have to rip your hide off. Got it?" Blaze then asks Vito. "Yeah whatever, let's get this over with. When do we get to fight and kill bad guys again?" Vito then asks Blaze. "Whenever we're asked to. PAD grunts and SECU soldiers can handle threats and anomalies but not all of them. We're like special forces of the PAD and the OCI." Blaze answers him. "Are there any other PAD cells like the Thunderbirds squad?" Vito questioned Blaze. "Yes, there is, all over the world, but we're the best out of all of them. Hence why we're stationed here in Gravity Falls, Roadkill County Oregon." Blaze said to him as he prepares the quiz. "Roger." Vito replied. They both sit down at the meeting table to do the oral pop quiz.

Four hours later at seven o'clock Dipper makes a call to Vito to voice his concerns with what happened. "So, Dipper, what is this book of the damned?" Vito asks him over the phone as he does dumbbell exercises. "When I was at the library last summer a few months ago, before moving here, I saw that book and peeked through a few pages and looked like it contained spells, summonings and incantations, complete with some illustrations much like the journals you're after. Except this one is written in what I hope is red ink." Dipper tells him. "When were you when you saw it get stolen? Do you happen to know anything about the thief?" Vito presses him. "What? No, that would be crazy if I did. I don't know anybody who would." Dipper lies to him, nervously. Vito swore he could tell he was sweating over the phone and doesn't believe him. "Dipper, why is it that I feel like you're lying to me?" Vito asks him. "I'm not!" Dipper shouts over the phone. "Kid, I'm pretty good at reading social cues unlike some people I know. I can hear that you're bullshitting me over the phone, Al told me that he hung out with you, your sister and Wendy and her friends this afternoon. Be honest." Vito directly orders him. "Okay, okay. Me, Mabel, Al, Wendy, Robbie and his bandmates and girlfriend went to the library to take the book because I wanted to impress my new friend and Wendy. That was it. Alright? I don't even know if the book is as dangerous as I'm worried it might be." Dipper tells him the truth. "Man, that guy can't keep a secret, he's just like Mabel." Dipper mutters under his breath, unaware that Vito can hear him. "Tell me about it. There's a reason why me and my dad didn't let him hang out with us when we did the work for our old boss." Vito mentioned. "Why would Robbie steal this necronomican looking book? Is he looking for some inspiration for his 'music?'" Vito asks. "Yes, he is. It's called Robbie V and the Tombstones. Right now, he and his bandmates are still debating what to call the band on their socials constantly." Dipper said. "Vito, I'm calling because… because… because I'm worried that this book might be just as dangerous as the journals, and I don't know what to do." Dipper informs him. "Look, kid, the worst thing that could happen is that he makes himself look like a fool in front of everyone. I may not be as experienced when it comes to this supernatural crap Dipper, but I doubt anything horrible is going to happen, just yet. Let's wait and see." Vito advises Dipper. "Okay. One last thing before I hang up. Do you know anything about ciphers?" Dipper asks him. "Can't say I know what they are till recently. I got quizzed on them by someone I hate, and I didn't do too well. I wouldn't recommend trying to balance your life being a student and having a career if I were you." Vito then advises him. "Why do you ask?" Vito questions him. "Because I heard that colonel talking to someone on the radio in what sounded like cipher. I believe these soldiers, these SECU guys talk to each other in ciphers. I saw the patches on their uniforms. I swear they're everywhere. There's two of them at my new school with those Bunyans, along with some PAD guys with machine guns, shotguns, guns I've never seen before in real life and flashbangs. I don't know about you, but I don't feel comfortable with the militarization of this town's schools lately." Dipper brings up. "Well that's what happens when the government finds out that really weird shit happens in your town. If it makes you feel any better, it's like that in mine too. Even my old high school back in the big apple didn't have security packing that much firepower, all we had was four cops armed with pistols, batons and metal detectors." Vito said over the phone. Do you suspect that they're hiding something?" Vito asks. "Yes, duh. That's why I asked if you know anything about ciphers." Dipper said to Vito. "Dipper? Are you doing your homework, or are you talking to your girlfriend again?" Dipper's mom asks her son from behind the locked door. "No mom I'm not! I'm single, and I'm just chatting with a new friend of mine as I'm working. Okay? Multitasking is a thing!" Dipper tells his mother as he writes down the answers to his algebra homework through the site Mathswers in his and Mabel's room. They share a room together at their mom's apartment and Mabel is celebrating her return to Gravity Falls with Candy and Grenda at the mystery shack. "Well, stop multitasking, or I'll make you do the lamby dance, and I'll be recording it to send to Wendy and this new girl you hang with at school. You hear?" His mother warns him. "Okay mom okay!" Dipper gives in. "How does she know about Pacifica? Oh wait. I know why." Dipper said, irritated. "Thanks for giving me advice. Maybe it will be a nothing burger. See ya." Dipper said to him. "We'll meet at the Friday music festival at Lake Gravity Falls to make sure nothing bad happens. My gut is usually correct." When Vito is about to end the call, Dipper hears Vito's parents arguing with each other in the background with screams, cussing, and glass breaking and is feeling more and more uncomfortable. "Is everything okay there?" Dipper asks, worryingly. "Something stupid is going on between my mom and dad, I'm sure." Vito downplays the domestic abuse. He then ends the call, goes to YouTube and plays the song "For You" by Staind on blast through his Bluetooth speakers in his room. Meanwhile all Al could do is turn the volume on its highest as he plays one of his games on his one of his other video game consoles, a PlayStation 2, very frightened while reciting the song's lyrics.

Three days later and it's nine pm at the lake gravity falls music festival. Over two hundred people are there, families there are celebrating with their kids, teens and preteens are out with their friends pretending to be formal, Wendy, her friends the pines twins, Al, Soos, Tambry and Robbie and his bandmates are watching Elton perform his song for the crowd, while Vito is standing in the back of the crowd, all by himself underneath a tree, underneath its shadow as he lights a spliff. He looks at his new friend's performance with a light grin. "Not a bad singer. I'm not going to lie." Vito said to himself before taking a smoke as he continues to watch his performance on stage. Dipper and Wendy see that he's alone and they walk up to him after head banging to the music with Mabel, Al, and Tambry and Robbie's bandmates. Robbie remains somewhat unimpressed with Elton's performance and isn't head banging. "Hey Vito. You care to join us? You've been standing there almost all night." Wendy brings up after asking. "I'm not much for big gatherings like I used to; I am here to make sure things don't go wrong, and to support a new friend." Vito answered. "That's fair. I'm not much of a partier either. Does your boss know about this or you being here? What's his name? Melvin? Malvin? Malick?" Dipper then asks. "His name is Captain Malik Bylilly, and no he doesn't know I'm here, I think. But he knows that the book of the damned is missing, or what the lady on the other line called 'item 916.'" Vito said to him. "Worst case scenario from Robbie taking the book and using its text as lyrics is that he'd look like a fool." Vito then guesses. "Yeah probably. It's not like we're all going to die if he recites some spooky junk from it." Wendy agrees with his theory. "I hope you're both right." Dipper said to them both. "Wait, you can hear what a caller is talking to on the other end?" Dipper then asks Vito. "I'm crossing my fingers that we are right." Vito said to Dipper as he does the sign of the cross. "And yes, I can. One of my powers as this is that I have as this monster is super hearing." Vito brings up. "Oh right, it's been a while since I've read the comics and stories about you." Dipper said awkwardly while stammering. "I've read Teenage Werewolf in New York too young." Dipper mutters under his breath. "What was that?" Wendy asks. "No shit. You were like what? Eight when you started reading those comics and stories about me Dipper? From what I've seen on those pirated sites, they're like if superhero and slasher movies got put into a blender." Vito then said to him. "Yeah, around I was eight to nine years old." Dipper answers him. "When does Robbie and his band get on stage?" Vito asks them both. "They should be on as Elton finishes his cover of Don't Start Unbelieving." Wendy tells him. "Don't start unbelieving? Isn't called 'don't stop believin' instead?" Vito asks confused. "Yeah that's what I thought too." Dipper admitted. "Is it just me or is there some Mandela effect going on here?" Dipper then asks. Before any of them could answer, Elton ends his performance, and the host of the Lake Gravity Falls music festival, mayor Tyler Cutebiker takes the stage. "Man, that was one heck of a performance huh? He really git 'em. Next up is a metal band named 'Robbie V and the tombstones of the ghost squad of lesbian chainsaw abortions.'" He announces to the crowd. He steps away from the stage and the curtains get pulled back to reveal Robbie at the mic with his black electric guitar, Andy is holding another electric guitar behind another mic, Paul on the bass, and Sean on the drums. Robbie is clearly having a little bit of stage fright, so Andy cuts in. "What's up Gravity falls? Turns out we didn't have time to write enough songs to sing for you tonight, so we've taken some inspiration from this creepy book and took a lot of its texts for the lyrics. You know ya'll love it!" Andy tells the crowd as he gives Robbie cards that have the lyrics on it, feeling irritated. Robbie seeing that his bandmates are frustrated with him, prepares his voice to sing their song. "Dzpv fk, dzpv fk ls svzw rhozmw, ovzev blfi mzttb slfhvdruv zmw olhvi hlm zmw uvzhg lm gsv uovhs zmw ylmvh lu nviv nligzoh lmxv ztzrm!" Then the island head beast levitates from the lake and begins to speak what appears to be gibberish to everyone at the festival. "seinitsed ruoy retne snamuh htuom ym retnE!" It delivers an ear deafening cry as it reconnects itself with other rocks from all town that function as parts of his body at almost lightning speed. "What the hell is going on!?" Vito asks. "Holy shit!" Wendy said in shock. "Oh my god, what did we do?" Dipper asks himself as they all look at it reconnecting itself. It then smashes a nearby boat after it's done reassembling itself, grabs one the fisher men who's clinging onto one of the rafts from what's left of it, and eats him. Robbie and his bandmates stopped playing their instruments and lip syncing to their song seconds ago. Everyone began screaming and running away from the monster that's coming towards them. The festival was over. SECU soldiers and PAD grunts that are in the surrounding area begin shooting at the giant, rocky monster with machine gun fire and forty-millimeter grenades which do nothing to it. It kept walking towards the shore of the lake, and the music festival to eat members of the crowd. Vito then gets a message on his radio headset that's on one of his ears. "Attention all OCI personnel, including SECU soldiers, PAD grunts and BOC agents in Roadkill County Oregon, we are encountering a level four anomaly and kaiju named 'Harold.' Please escort civilians away from Harold and take him down." Vito then transforms into his first werewolf form and tells Wendy and Dipper "Get the hell outta here, me and these feds will kill this beast before it takes anymore lives. Find shelter." He then sprints towards Harold who's towering over everyone else by two football fields tall and leaps toward the giant's feet, pestering it, giving them time to flee. "How long do you think he'd last against that behemoth?" Wendy asks Dipper as they both run with Al, Tambry, Soos, Elton and Robbie. "No idea, me and Mabel have encountered this thing before. We had to row our boat as far away from it as possible. We had no idea it could reattach itself like that. It could devour Vito." Dipper said to her, running out of breath as they run into the town. "Guys! Let's get to that fishy and tacky, biker bar!" Mabel says to the group, pointing at skull fracture. "Good idea! My dad and other tough guys can keep us safe!" Wendy says to them. She then looks over at the monster and sees that Harold started slowly crushing Vito with one of its hands. "Come on Wendy! Leave that asshole be! Get in!" Robbie said to her, as she stands on the sidewalk, outside of the bar in worry. Then out of nowhere, a blast of lightning hits the hand holding V Wolf and lets him go for him to land on his feet on the ground. Wendy then runs inside the bar with the rest of her friends.

V Wolf then leaps away from the beast on top of one of the rooftops to where the lightning blast came from. "Who the hell are you? Did you attempt to save or kill me?! Show yourself!!" V Wolf shouts into the void. Then Hazel Brown comes out from behind an AC unit on the rooftop. "I saved you, dumb hairball." Hazel tells him. "Hazel? Since when you were capable of electrokinesis?" Vito asks her as he turns back into his human self. "Since when were you a werewolf?" Hazel asks him, confused. "Long story." Vito tells her. Before they could tel each their backstories, an AC-130 from the night skies fires upon Harold, the island beast with minigun bursts. It made him angrier. "We should tell origin stories later. I don't feel comfortable with air strikes hammering our town." Vito says to her as he transforms back into his first form. "Thunderbirds, we gotta get the SECU to stop anymore air strikes, use green flares. We've stored some in crates on the rooftop. Understood?" Malik speaks to his squad-mates through their headsets. Vito then spots a crate on the rooftop, runs to it and opens it by tearing it in half, only for the flares to not be there and to be in Hazel's hands instead which seemed to poof out of mid air in her her hands, all lit up. "How the f… did you?" Vito asks her. "I felt like showing off." Hazel tells him. "Phoenix Six reads you loud and clear. We won't fire on the beast if it's in the town. Can SECU and PAD guys on the ground take it from here?" The pilot asks OCI personnel in gravity falls. "Yeah, we do." One of the other people on the radio said. Seconds later an M1 Abrams tank that was patrolling one of the town's streets near the hardware store fires an ear deafening shell at Harold, only for it to do nothing, as his rock body quickly regenerates. It grabs it by its tank gun and smacks a helicopter out of the sky with it and then throws at the water tower, destroying it. Vito, the thunderbirds and other OCI personnel including the other SECU soldiers, PAD grunts, and BOC agents could hear the tank crew screaming in terror on the other radio in horror as Harold uses the vehicle like a toy. "Roger that. Thunderbirds, we can't kill it. We need to come up with a way to distract Harold and get him away from the civilians and subdue him." Malik tells the PAD cell. "Vito, I see that I'm not the only wizard here in this town. Moe Mole saw the satellite feed." Malik then tells him over the radio. "What should I do with her?" Vito asks him. "Give her my contact info, I could use an apprentice to add to my wizarding resume. Keep this beast distracted and away from Gravity Falls and from any other civilians in roadkill county." Malik tells him. "Will do, but right now I have to keep my kids, and their friends safe at this bar. Let me know when you guys come up with a plan to get it out of here." Manly Dan said on the radio, inside Skull Fracture with Wendy, the Pines Twins, and their friends who were at the music festival, alongside other patrons. Vito and Hazel nonverbally agree to keep Harold distracted and occupied from eating other people and get back into action. Hazel levitates two feet off the ground as she jumps down into the street, and starts launching fire bolts at it with Malik, who was also there in the streets of Gravity Falls, while Vito shapeshifts back into a werewolf and lunges at Harold's backside, being able to crawl on its body and pierce through its body, and begins scratching with his claws. Malik and other PAD grunts are buying thunderbird squad members Arturo and Blaze to rescue people from the downed Blackhawk that plummeted to the ground, leaving the gravity falls gossiper building in ruins, with its roof completely destroyed. Hazel moves next to Malik and uses the water pouring from the wrecked fire hydrant and uses one of her weather powers, aquakinesis to bend the water to freeze Harold's feet in place. Harold breaks through the ice and throws a chunk of rebar and concrete at her from one of the wrecked buildings he wrecked. Malik uses telekinesis to save Hazel from being crushed and tosses back at the rocky kaiju. Harold catches it and throws it over his shoulders and into the lake. "You're another magic user?" Hazel asks Malik, who is using blasts of explosions against Harold through the tips of his fingers. "Of course, I am. I'd like to talk to you after this is over. Continue helping us out with this monster, will you? Be sure not to hit the werewolf." Malik then instructs her. Hazel readjusts her glasses and nods a yes, she then creates and launches lighting bolts from the sky to strike at Harold during the street battle. The sound of gunfire, explosions, rockets roaring, and the petrifying howls of the head island beast that OCI personnel call "Harold" produce ear deafening sounds throughout downtown gravity falls. The sounds were so loud they could be heard in any other town near the place.

As the Thunderbirds, Hazel, Vito, and SECU soldiers and PAD grunts struggle to beat the beast, Dipper, Al, Mabel, and Wendy watch the street battle, "Jesus Christ, we never should've gotten that cursed book." Dipper said. "Dude, we had no way of knowing this would happen. Even Vito doubted it would cause something this crazy." Wendy assured Dipper. Unknown to them, someone in a boonie hat stands up, catching his attention. "For once I wished that psychotic, homophobic asswipe was right. What is it with this hick town and this weird, paranormal shit? And now there's government guys and army men that just popped out of nowhere when the pine twins left for like a few days before coming back here, and then a giant fucking monster appears because I didn't know I was reading a fucking incantation DURING THE SECOND MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!" Robbie rants for the whole bar to hear. "In fact, where's my bandmates?" Robbie then asks, feeling confused as he looks around the bar. "No clue Robbie." Tambry tells him. "Do you think they got lost?" Mabel wonders. Robbie and Tambry then approach to one of the front windows of the bar when they think they hear their bandmates' screams and cries. "Guys I know Robbie is a jerky, laughingstock, and a retard, but I don't think ditching him was worth it." Paul said as he has half of his torso and legs trapped underneath a MRAP, Andy and Sean try to pull him out, with one of them saying the only way to get him out was to saw him in half. One of the SECU soldiers tells them to seek shelter underground or flee, but then Harold stomps the SECU soldier like a bug, and grabs Andy and Sean with one hand, and had Paul in his other after he ripped him underneath from the burning MRAP in a bloody mess. Harold then covers Andy and Sean with Paul's blood all over them like he was using ketchup and eats Paul first with one crunch and swallows him whole, and then Sean and Andy both at the time, he chews them multiple and swallows their flesh and bones, then hiccups. They could all hear Robbie's bandmates' cries for terror for a few seconds, which was then followed by silence. "Aw man, can this get any worse?" Robbie asks himself, horrified. "Yes, it can get worse, you can have a cartoonishly long nose, have a nonexistent music career, and get cucked by a twelve-year-old." Al roasts him. Dipper then elbows Al's shoulder for his comment. "Ow." Al moaned. "I'm going to burn that book, I SWEAR!" Robbie shouts. "That's sweet of you say Robbie." Tambry tries to comfort him. "I agree with her but dude I don't think it's a good idea. We don't know what would happen if one of us did that." Wendy gives him her take. "Yeah, for Al we know you could burn yourself alive instead." Dipper warned him. "Kids what are you all doing by the window? Get away from them!!" Manly Dan orders them as he, along with Soos, Tats and Kats pull them away from the window and toward the bar as Luanne covers them with an AR-15. "You okay Tambers?" Tats asks Tambry. "Dad don't call me Tambers. And yes, I'm okay." Tambry answers. "And how are you, future son in law?" Kats asks Robbie. "Splendid. How do you think I'm doing?" Robbie said sarcastically with his elbows crossed. Wendy whispers something in her dad's ear when they pulled her and her friends after they pull them to the bar. "Hey Dopper." Manly Dan says. "It's Dipper." He corrects him politely. "Sorry. Dipper I'm sorry for accusing you of having relations with my daughter and my behavior in front of your family at the hospital. I was off my seroquel, again." Manly Dan apologizes. "It's okay sir. You were just looking after her." Mabel said to him. "That makes sense. How many times did you forget to take your seroquel and Zoloft dad?" Wendy then asks her dad. "I lost count, every once in a while, I guess." Dan assumed. "You forgot to take them if not just refused to take them at least six hundred times when mom was and hasn't been around, I've counted." Wendy recalled. "You know taking pills is unmanly, it's unnatural. Plus, I've heard that scientists put nano bots inside pills so that the government can scan your thoughts and get inside your dreams." Her dad tells her. "IT'S TRUE!" Hunter yelled. "I saw g men in black trench coats when I had a nightmare that I was naked in high school!" Hunter added. "And you wonder why I had to bail you out five times this year." Wendy said as she rolled her eyes. "Did you say something about a cursed book kid?" Hunter J Mercury asks Dipper as he walks up to him and his friends, taking a break from his filtered cigarette. "Wait a minute, you live in gravity falls?" Dipper asks the conspiracy theorist. "Aren't you that guy who raves about a teenage werewolf killing ceos, Joey Boros, and said our black president is the anti-Christ?" Al asks. "Of course I live in this town, I moved here recently like other 'right wing nut jobs' to talk about and discover the anomalies of this off grid town. And yes, I did say those things, because it's true. I also wouldn't be shocked if there were crisis actors during that gravity falls high siege. I tell ya it reeks of government psych op by the diltons, ohbumars, the rothlings, and Joey Boros." Hunter tells them. Elton covers his face with his hands out of embarrassment and screams into them. Wendy has puts one of her hands on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. "I'm one to believe in speculations too but it's clear we have different ideas what's probable and what's not." Dipper says with one of his hands behind his head, avoiding eye contact. "I don't know about that one either, but those inflatable ducks had their reasons to rebel." Soos chimes in. "What makes you interested in this cursed book we didn't stole?" Al asks. "Because I know the person who wrote it, Dr Crackpot's book of the damned, before my gay son Elton was born." Hunter explains. "Dad, you don't have to tell them I'm gay, I came out of the closet years ago when I was ten." Elton interrupts him. "Hush now, I'm about to tell them how we could defeat the monster." Hunter tells his son. "How do you know the author of the book and how do we beat it?" Dipper asks. "I know the author, he's…. Oh wait he's dead. He thought he could talk to bears by playing a ukulele while covering his face and naked, hairy body in honey and peanut butter." Hunter brings up, much to Dipper's annoyance. "Do you happen to have a copy of the book?" Hunter asks them. "What? We didn't have anything to with it. You should talk to Robbie, the fall out boy fan. He and what used to be his bandmates took it from the public library." Al tells him a white lie. "The fuck I didn't you little brat!" Robbie overheard and screamed at him. "BOYS, BE NICE." Wendy ordered them loudly while she is guarding one of the windows with a firearm alongside her dad and the two bouncers. "Sorry son, but I don't believe you. Give me the book, or I'll tell those g-men that you're hiding an anomaly." Hunter threatened them. "Alright alright, you got us. Look we had no idea it was a real magical book. We only stole it so one of our friends could get some inspiration for his songs at the music festival." Dipper explained. "Bro did you just rat us out? The hell is wrong with you?" Al scolds him. "Yeah you… never mind." Robbie said. He didn't want to agree with Al on anything at the moment. "Dude, do you want to be put away for something as big as that?" Dipper asks Al, while pointing at what's going on outside the bar. The Thunderbirds squad, Hazel, and OCI personnel were still engaged in a street battle against Harold. Al sighs and admits "Yeah you got me there." Wendy then looks at Robbie, who took a drink from the bar while Luanne wasn't looking. "Robbie, give him the book." Robbie doesn't say a thing, as he pulls the book out of his bag and tosses it to Hunter. While Hunter scrolls through the pages, Manly Dan and Wendy have a talk. "How many times do we have to chat about you always getting into trouble?" Manly Dan asks her. "Didn't you and my brothers break into Luanne's house during summerween while dressed up as Vikings as part of some prank? And I had to bail you guys out after the party at Tambry's?" Wendy asks him. "How was I supposed to know she lived there?" Her dad asks. "I thought we were about to trash Principal Kilroy's house, and me and your brothers saw some things." Daniel Corduroy then mentioned. Manly Dan then shudders. "Oh, shut up." Luanne said to him. "You're acting like you've never seen a woman shave her legs before." She then brings up. "It was different when I saw my wife do it, okay?" Manly Dan said. "Aha! Here it is! The spell to send the island head thing back to which it came! Page forty-nine!" Hunter J Mercury said aloud. "It requires a man with a loud booming voice to repeat these magic words…"

Right before he was about to say the incantation, Manly Dan heard Malik say to the Thunderbirds, "Thunderbirds, PAD director Steve Prince has come up with a plan to destroy Harold because he's too dangerous, we lead him outside of Gravity Falls and into a deserted area in Rolling Tumbleweed, on the border of RoadKill City, have him trapped under a force field, and send him to another dimension through a special orbital strike beam from a dimensional transporter gun from one of our top secret war satellites." Most of the squad members are concerned about the idea. "But captain, you do realize that those DTG beams create alpha radiation once they hit the surface, right?" Mole Moe asks him. "SECU soldiers stationed there will give us NBC suits and iodine pills. We'll keep other civilians away from the area. The area where we'll trap Harold has been used as a nuclear testing site. No sane human beings go there." Malik tells him. "Cap have you not heard about the weather? It's windy tonight, and the fallout from the laser beam could spread to other parts of Roadkill County and beyond." Manly Dan expressed his worries. "I get it, but this is a direct order from one of the three directors of OCI. Vito, aka V Wolf, a local witch I've met tonight, and a few VTOLs and helicopters are beginning to start leading Harold out of Gravity falls as bait and lead him into the trap we've set up at Test Site Clark in Rolling Tumbleweed. Captain Malik out." He explained to them. "Guys, I got very bad news. Idiots at the head of OCI are about to lead that giant, island head monster to another dimension through an orbital strike beam that would spread radiation across this whole county, including this town. I'm going to do whatever I can to stop it from happening by following the monster called Harold." Manly Dan tells everyone at the bar. "Dad, let me come with you. I can't let you get yourself killed out there." Wendy demanded from her dad. "Hey, we figured out a way we can stop the giant head and prevent that from happening! Let us come with you too!" Dipper urges him too. "Yeah! What the nerdy kid said. We gotta stop deep state shenanigans!" Hunter tells him. "How are you going to stop it from wrecking the rest of the tristate area?" Manly Dan asks them. "A magic incantation from the Cauldron of the Damned." Mabel tells him. "And Robbie is coming with us." Dipper added. "Dipper are you crazy? Why should I go risk getting myself killed? Have you not seen what it did to those people? I swear I saw and heard it ate that crazy lifeguard guy." Robbie brought up, feeling anxious. "Because it's…. it's…." Dipper stops speaking and begins to sweat more than usual when he realizes that everyone in the room was paying attention to him, Mabel who's smiling at him, Manly Dan, Luanne, Tats and Kats, Elton who's confused, Tambry who looked like she was going to say something but then backs out, Wendy who's also smiling at him, Al who is shaking his head and mouthing the words "no" and "don't" very anxiously, while Robbie is mouthing very angrily "you're so fucking dead to me if you snitch on us right now, I swear I'll fucking kill you if you do." Hunter gets annoyed by Dipper's lack of a response. "WILL YOU JUST ADMIT THAT YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS STOLE IT SO WE CAN GO AFTER THEM AND STOP THEM!?" Hunter bluntly asks him, with the filtered cigarette falling out of his mouth. Dipper was on the verge of crashing out, Manly Dan scowls at him, disappointed. "Fine, don't admit for everyone to hear then. Let's follow Harold and stop a nuclear disaster." Harold declares. Manly Dan nods in agreement with him, as well with Wendy. "What about you two?" Manly Dan asks. "Me and my husband will guard the bar, and keep Elton, and our daughter safe here." Tats tells him. "Thank you big muscular black man!" Hunter said to him as he headed to the door. "Quick everyone! To the Patriot-mobile!! I've parked in the back of Skull fracture for no particular reason." Hunter tells everyone else as he opens the back door and leads everyone to his Patriot-mobile, which is a big, heavily armored car with the American flag painted all over it and it was covered in right wing flag decals on the back of the six by six MRAP. It looked like a vehicle that SECU soldiers, PAD grunts would drive. "Hey, I know this spot, its where your mom got a train run on her and your dad shot himself with his gun. Ha ha!" Robbie attempts to roast Al as they get into Hunter's Patriot Mobile. "Robbie, stop it, he's only a kid." Wendy tells Robbie. "You're not wrong. I've seen that episode of cops. I'm desensitized to every yo mama joke made about my mom and every comment made about my dad. You can talk shit about her and my dad all you want, just don't do it around my brother." Al bluntly told him, unaffected by his comment. Robbie pouts. They begin strapping their seat belts in the back, with Hunter at the wheel and Manly Dan barely fitting in the passenger seat beside Hunter, and everyone else is in the back. Dipper notices that there's a crate of automatic rifles and two smaller crates of pistols and hand grenades in between their back seats on the left and right and gets nervous. "Hunter is there a reason why you have crates of M16s and AK47s in your car?" Dipper asks. "You and those feds act like you've never heard of the second amendment." Hunter replied to him. "Should we use them against that monster?" Soos asks both Hunter and Manly Dan. "No, we can't. The bullets would only ricochet off of it. Besides the manly thing to do is punch it in the face, but nooo, they want to trap it at that nuclear testing site, Test Site Clark." Dan replied. "Sir, you have a permit to sell or own these weapons, right?" Mabel asks. Hunter ignored her question and starts the car. Al shrugs it off and said "I guess not. Oh well." Hunter looks both ways as he asks Manly Dan "So where's that rocky kaiju at?" As Manly Dan was about to point that it just went past the church, Hunter shouted "Never mind! Found it!" as he made a hard left turn, following the instructions on his GPS to Test Site Clark. "How you think it's going for Vito and those OCI dudes? Also am I the only one who thought the PAD dudes and those SECU soldiers were separate agencies?" Soos asks everyone in the back with him. "Dunno." Dipper replies. "As well as one can expect." Wendy answers. "Probably kicking ass at whatever he's doing." Al responded. "I didn't know they were part of the same agency as separate branches." Mabel said. "They are separate branches of the same agency, that much I'm allowed to say." Manly Dan answers them. "If it's so secret, why do we now know about the OCI when they came to Gravity Falls and enforce martial law after Bill trapped the town under some time some?" Soos then asks. "Yeah, that's a good question. I didn't expect you to ask that." Al stated. "Why is that?" Al asks. "For a secret, government organization they do a shitty job at the being secret part." He then said. "Oh, get off my back kid! You and your family basically told everyone, including my daughter about your past!! Everyone knows about you guys!" Manly Dan yelled at Al, irately as he was driving, following the giant into Rolling TumbleWeed, passing by a checkpoint in road rage while dodging choppers and vtols that were being swatted out of the sky by Harold's hands and a redwood tree he was using as a club. Every minute as Harold was chasing after V Wolf and Hazel, an aircraft falls and crashes onto the ground and explodes. "What do you think the incantation does?" Soos asks. "Maybe Harold has a wife and kid under the lake with him that will ask him to come back home with them." Mabel theorizes. "Mabel we all love you, but that's stupid." Robbie replied.

V Wolf in his second werewolf form sprinting with his arms and legs like an animal at thirty-five miles an hour, while Hazel is levitating off the ground and is moving at the same speed as he is down the street, towards into Rolling Tumbleweed. Meanwhile Apache attack helicopters and Blackhawks surround Harold like flies would around a human being, pestering him with minigun bursts, autocannon fire, and guided missiles, with a V-25 osprey above the scene. "Vito, V wolf? I don't have enough energy to keep up the pace. Can I hop on your back?" Hazel asks him. V wolf nods his head yes. She then leaps to his back, grabbing onto his fur real tight. "How long have you been here in this redneck town honey?" V wolf asks in his distorted voice. "As… long as I can remember. My parents are often out of town and leave me home alone, and I have this big house to myself on a hill with a nice view over main street. They travel constantly during their jobs." Hazel tells him. "They're often out of town you say?" V wolf asks as he leads Harold out of town successfully and into Rolling Tumbleweed, jumping over the checkpoint into Gravity Falls by SECU soldiers like he was the hulk, with the patriot mobile behind Harold who crashes through the checkpoint and kicks one of the MRAPs into the air like it was a football. V Wolf gets an idea. "You know since they're out of town, and you're on top, how about later tonight I could be" "No, not happening." Hazel interrupts him. "Where the hell is this test site Clark?" V Wolf asks. "Turn right past this railroad sign and in a mile, you'll see wired fences with barbed wire on top of them, with warning signs. That's where you'll find the abandoned nuclear test site." Mole Moe told him through his radio headset. After they pass a mile, Vito leaps over the fence into the abandoned nuclear test site and leads Harold into the site. "You see that old explosion crater? We're going to trap Harold there. Go around it and avoid the lethal radiation." Mole Moe then tells him. He goes around the crater with Hazel on his back, who's clutching on his back fur. Vito and Hazel are greeted by two platoons of SECU soldiers who're already there in NBC suits and masks. The soldiers are accompanied with humvees and APCs with turrets, and two tanks that had a specialized cannon that looked sci fi. Vito shapeshifts back into his human self after Hazel gets off of his back. Harold followed them, trips and falls into the massive bomb crater, and gets trapped under a massive force field summoned by Malik, covering the crater. The V-25 that was observing the scene from above then hovers down to the test site close to the tanks, and Malik, Blaze, Arturo, and a fireteam of PAD grunts come out of the VTOL through the ramp as it opens. "How did you enjoy the piggyback ride?" Vito jests with her. "It was nice, fun even. Although I didn't like what your V Wolf persona said." Haze answers him. "Sorry. Living with lycanthropy is a lot like living with bipolar disorder." Vito said to her. "Excuse me, sir and ma'am, you need to take these iodine pills. They'll help you deal with the radiation here." One of the soldiers said with his M240 holstered, handing them four iodine pills to take. Vito took his out of the soldier's left hand, and Hazel took them out of the man's right hand. Vito swallowed them without a problem. Hazel took them but was grossed out by its taste. He gave her his flask from his utility belt, and she drinks it down and gives it back to him. "Thanks. Today has been crazy. Let me tell ya. First that mass shooting happened, and now a whole series of wild and strange things have been happening since. Like is it just me or is this whole town and county just really strange?" Hazel tells him. "Seems that way. We barely dodged those falling helicopters being swatted out of the sky. I didn't think that rock monster is a runner." Vito then admits. "I know, it almost squished us three times." Hazel mentioned. "I haven't been in a rush like that before for years. It was super dangerous but man it was exciting. Oddly enough I'm starting to like this job as an agent for the PAD." Vito admits. "What's the PAD? Does it deal with paranormal stuff like this often?" Hazel asks. "Yeah they do." Vito said. "Oh, that's interesting. See at school I guess." Hazel said to him. "See ya Hazel." Vito said to her. She then summons a floating cloud with her wand, gets on top of it and sits down on it, and is about to fly off. "Hazel, wait a minute! I forgot to give you this. My boss, Captain Bylilly wants to speak to you. Here's his card." Vito said to her, tossing her his card, the one Malik gave to him during his tour of the Thunderbirds safe house. "Wait, does it have to do with me being a witch? I'm not in trouble or anything right?" Hazel asks him, feeling worried. "No, you're not. Have a good night Hazel." Vito assured her. "Okay, I'll talk to him." Hazel said to him, before flying off.

"McGucket? What are you doing without a hazmat suit?" Vito asks him while walking up to him after spotting the hillbilly scientist by one of the tanks. "Also, thanks for fixing my car, I really friggin appreciate that." Vito then thanks him. "No problem buddy. I came here to see what the government did with one of my patents I sold them, and to see if I can get superpowers from this radiation." McGucket tells him. "Well that's a stupid thing to do." Vito replied. "Stupid? Yes? Batshit crazy? Yes." McGucket said to him. Vito then spots Doctor Falk Landa next to one of the APCs, talking to Colonel Walker, who's wearing a hazmat suit unlike the doctor and McGucket. Falk is accompanied by two men in grey hazmat suits, unlike the PAD grunts who are wearing blue hazmat suits, and the SECU soldiers who are wearing woodland and desert camo hazmat suits. Vito then loses his cool, turns into his second werewolf form and tries but fails to confront the Doctor as Blaze held him back physically, while Malik Bylilly used a spell that kept him stuck in place, and used a magic scent that turned V Wolf back into a human, and Vito is unable to move with the exception of his head, eyes, and mouth. "Vito, what do you think you're doing?" Malik asks him as he keeps Vito in place. "That creep back there, Falk Landa, he's the sick son of a bitch that kept me away from my family in that bunker and put me through torturous experiments. That bunker puts Auschwitz and Unit 731 to shame; a total hellhole." Vito tells Malik, and the rest of the thunderbirds about what the mad scientist did to him. "Which bunker?" Malik asks him. "I think I know what you're talking about, but I can't remember it's name. Go on." Blaze lets go of Vito and takes three steps back. "It was under the Appalachian mountains, somewhere in Pennsylvania." Vito said while taking deep breaths to cool off. "My god, it's the one. I'm terribly sorry Vito." Malik said. "Is it Raven Rock?" Blaze asks him. "No, Iroquois Cave, a nuclear bunker that also functions as a OCI facility, where the PAD does… questionable lab experiments on people with supernatural powers, and study and also experiment with anomalies." Malik corrects him. "You're being too nice with that description. Falk and his goons wanted to see how much silver I could have contact with before I reached the verge of death one time." Vito said to him. "Is it normal for the PAD to treat people that way?" Vito then asks them. "If they have any unnatural abilities and used them regardless of their intent, and they get sent to the OCI's PAD, yes that is the case." Blaze explained. "While I don't feel that much empathy for you, I can understand what you been through in Doctor Landa's hands and I'm sorry." Blaze then tells Vito to his face. "Wow, thanks a lot buddy. You fa..." Vito said sarcastically. "Hey don't be a wise ass now, I saved you from yourself just now." Blaze interrupts him. "How did he get to work for the government? Where is he from exactly?" Vito asks the thunderbirds. "I overheard one of the SECU soldiers saying he's from Argentina, but I don't buy it." Vito added. "It's a long story devil dog." Malik tells him. "Short story short, Falk Landa has experience with the paranormal, and learned to weaponize anomalies, combining science and magic to create technological marvels and supernatural weapons of mass destruction. Before he started working for Uncle Sam, he worked with a country that we were at war with many years ago. Malik, Steve Prince and me when I first signed up for OCI after serving as a corporal in the marines were on a top secret mission to assassinate an infamous dictator that was hiding in South America for thirty five years, and we captured him along the way." Blaze explained. "Did you kill that dictator?" Vito asks. "Yes. With a fifty caliber bullets to his right arm and to his head, Steve Prince and Blaze made sure of that, I kept watch." Malik tells him. "Ever since I've been to that place, I haven't been myself. Normally I don't tell people about my past, and I knew how to keep my mouth shut as a former mafia soldier, but during my second day in this town, I told someone who I really was, despite being in witness protection." Vito said to his squadmates. They were shocked and disappointed in him, with Blaze covering his face while pinching his nose, and Malik shaking his head. "Jesus V Wolf, that is a really terrible and not to mention dumb idea." Blaze tells him while he still pinches his nose with his eyes closed. "Yeah I know, but for some reason I could trust this girl. She seemed so nonchalant in comparison when they saw me that night covered in blood packing, coming out of that trashed hideout. I can tell she wasn't scared of me like the others are." Vito admitted. "Who? Wendy Corduroy?" Arturo asks. Vito didn't say a word, or confirm his guess. He just stares down at the ground in silence. "Haha! I knew it!" Arturo yelled while slapping his knee and laughing. "You like Manly Dan's daughter don't you?" Arturo then asks Vito. "ITS NOT LIKE THAT, she's just a new friend of mine I like to hang out with a lot. She's my new best friend and we live next door to each other." Vito tells him while his cheeks turn red. "So what?" Vito then asks. "Well that makes things awkward, doesn't it?" Blaze gives a rhetorical question. "Who else did you tell Vito?" Malik then asks. "Other than that kid Dipper, nobody else." Vito answered. "Okay, it could be worse for you. Don't tell anyone else about your past or your special abilities." Malik said to him.

Wendy's group arrive to the scene in Hunter's Patriot-mobile and come to see Harold trapped underneath a force field, and see Vito with his squadmates. Dipper, Hunter, Soos, Al and Robbie run up to Malik with the Book of the Damned with breaking news while Wendy and Manly Dan go to Vito. "Vito, you okay? Where's Hazel?" Wendy asks. "Hazel left by flying off through a nimbus cloud safely, and yes I'm okay. Never felt a rush like that in years. Felt so alive. I beat that dragon in Times Square and now I got chased by a giant, rock monster. So that's another thing to add to my list of cool crap I've done." Vito said to her. "Would've been more fun and manly to punch its head off though." Daniel Corduroy commented. "It kept regenerating, what was I supposed to do? Do a little dance in hopes that it'd go away?" Vito talked back. "Dad he and Hazel and the rest of you guys handled that monster just fine. Besides we got a way to deal with that Harold thing." Wendy said to her dad. "Also, Hazel did what now?" Wendy asks Vito. "Oh, turns out Hazel is a witch with weather powers like she's Storm from X men." Vito told her. "I… don't know what to expect anymore." Wendy commented. "I know right?" Vito then asks. "Malik sir, we have something to tell you." Dipper said to him. "That is Captain Bylilly, agent and paranologist of Paranormal Activities Division. What is it? Have you taken an iodine pill?" Malik then asks after he was done with Vito. "Make it quick kid. None of you should be here." Blaze tells him. "Listen, I know it looks really, really bad, but we found this book which has an incantation that will send Harold back to the lake." Dipper pulls the book out of his vest, showing it to Blaze and Malik. "Dr Crackpot's book of the damned." Blaze said, shocked. "So you're the ones who stole the book?" Malik asks, irritated at them. "We didn't know it would be a magical cursed book. Ok?" Robbie states loudly in defense. "Here's the incantation that will stop all of this." Dipper said, holding onto the book. "Boy, I've read a copy of that book. I know what you're talking about. Just hand it over." He then reads the incantation, not paying attention to what Malik said, he was too focused on trying to impress the thunderbirds and Vito's peers. "Ahéhee', naashá, t'ááłá'í, naayééne', t'áá'íiyisí, doo t'áá'íiyisí, yá'át'ééh, éí naashá doo yá'át'éehgo t'áá'íí' hólǫ́!!" Malik's giant force field keeping Harold in the bomb crater disappears and Harold stands up and starts walking out of the crater. "Holy shit! Wkh irufh mxvw glvdsshduhg! Suhsduh iru dq ruelwdo vwulnh!" An SECU soldier screams over the radio from one of the humvees. "Did you listen to me? Hand the book over!" Malik commands him. Dipper didn't know what to do, he knows it just made things worse. Robbie looks over Dipper's shoulders and his body and reads it out loud it himself. Harold only grows twice in size. Hysterical cries among the SECU and PAD grunts grows even louder through their radios. "Mother fuckery of fuck! Let me handle this!!" Hunter shouted at both Robbie and Dipper, and then snatched it out of Dipper's hands. He does an over the top voice while reciting the Navajo incantation himself "Ahéhee', naashá, t'ááłá'í, naayééne', t'áá'íiyisí, doo t'áá'íiyisí, yá'át'ééh, éí naashá doo yá'át'éehgo t'áá'íí' hólǫ́!!" Then two floating, rocky heads that are the same size of Harold's arise from Lake Gravity Falls and levitate at high speed towards Harold's location in less than fifteen seconds just as he was about to strike the APC Wendy, Vito, the thunderbirds and everyone in both groups were behind of with one of his fists. They begin talking to each other in backwards. The Thunderbirds and Wendy's group come out to see the commotion. "Wow, who know you were right Mabel? He does have a family." Al said to her. "Duh, of course I was right." She teases him. "They talk backwards like he does." Malik said. "What are they saying?" Vito asks his commander. "Apparently Harold was disturbed and was put under some kind of trance that made him lash out against the townsfolk, much to his wife's and son's frustration. They want him to come back home in the lake." Malik answers him. Robbie pulls his hoodie over his face out of embarrassment when he heard Malik translating what the monster was saying. "So are we going to let them go home? After everything this creature did?" Blaze asks him. "I don't know if that's going to happen." Malik said. Harold, his wife and kid as they were about to head out of the scene, the tanks with the strange turrets fire lasers at them and dramatically reduce their sizes to the size of Lego figures in front of their eyes.

"Wait.. how did that just happened?" Robbie asks. "They, they know about those height altering crystals me and Mabel discovered." Dipper said. "Fuck those guys work fast. These OCI guys make the Mensa people look like lobotomites." Al said. "Yeah talk about the suspense of disbelief." Soos agrees. "You just ruined my joke dude." Al said to Soos. The two men in grey hazmat suits run to the crater. "Speaking of which." Malik said to both Blaze and Vito, as well to the other Thunderbird squad members. "What are they doing?" Wendy asks her dad. "Capturing the rock monsters, part of the secure, contain and protect protocol of the OCI and all of its branches." Manly Dan answers her. The two men in grey suits then begin to walk up, out of the crater with Harold, and his wife and kid stuck inside a jar, very distressed, powerless to escape from it. Falk Landa is standing over the crater at the rim, waiting as he towers over the scene. "Doctor Lands, we got them." Agent Trigger said to him as and his partner come out of the crater. "Thank you for retrieving Harold and his family Agent Powers and Agent Trigger. These will do nicely for the OCI." Falk Landa said after he takes the jar out of Agent Powers' hands. He then puts it inside his satchel. "Where's our cut?" Agent Trigger then asks him. Falk Landa then pulls checks out his wallet and hands them to both agents. Malik sees this and gets suspicious. "Wait here soldiers, I got to speak to someone." Malik tells him. "How's school?" Blaze attempts to do small talk. Vito then brings out a cigarette from his jacket and lights it, ignoring Blaze. "You know back when I was a kid, we carried rifles to school without a problem, and we ditched school to do all sorts of rebellious things too… like…" Blaze goes on. "Dude, the first time you met me, you publicly talked shit to me and about me in front of our coworkers. Jump into the crater and get radiation sickness." Vito told him, rudely. "I had go into sensitivity training four hours after work because our captain told me to do so, and you continue to talk to me like that?" Blaze said to him, becoming cross with him. "He did?" Vito asks. "Yes, and it was as exhausting as you'd expect, so be nice or I'll get you fired and you'll be put on death row." Blaze threatened Vito. "Fine I will, just don't ever be a cunt to me ever again, not in front my face, ever." Vito said. "Deal." Blaze agrees. They see the men in grey hazmat suits leave the scene and Malik barrages Doctor Landa with a bunch of questions about the checks he gave to those agents. "Why were they wearing grey suits unlike these other gunmen?" Vito asks Blaze. "They're part of the Bureau Of Cover ups, the guys that make sure nobody knows anything that the US government doesn't want leaked to the public when it comes to the supernatural." Blaze explained to him. "What the hell were they doing hanging out with a PAD scientist?" Vito wonders. "Don't know, but him handing out checks to those guys looks and sounds very illegal." Blaze said. "Man the captain is irate at him. Good. Has he been in trouble before?" Vito asks Blaze. "More than I can count." Blaze told him. "So when do we get to leave and go home?" Arturo steps in and asks them. "Hopefully soon. I'm beat." Vito said. "It will be soon, we're going to be leaving whenever the doctor and colonel do. We'll be leaving in about five minutes I think." Blaze tells him.

"I can't believe Grunkle Ford's joke about that monster were true in journal three, I've seen it in the black light." Dipper tells Mabel, Soos, Al, Wendy, Robbie, and Hunter who still didn't finish his filtered cigarette. "I didn't even read that part and I knew it would be true." Mabel said with confidence. "Honestly I don't know what to expect anymore." Robbie said. "Vito said something like that too. Can't say I disagree with him." Wendy remarked. "Yeah, shame those things wouldn't be a part of the mystery shack though, I had some attraction ideas for Soos like having a giant butt bird that has a human butt for a face instead of a beak." Al said. "That's brilliant dude. You can come help work at the best place on earth if you want. We could use some more employees on the weekends since Wendy doesn't work there anymore." Soos said. "Will I get paid?" Al asks. "Sure, ten dollars an hour." Soos tells him. "Sweet, now I can help pay for my mom's and dad's lawyer." Al said in excitement. "You guys helping too?" Al asks Dipper and Mabel. "We'll do it for free." Mabel said with a smile. "Anything for a friend Soos." Dipper said. "Thanks dudes, I really do appreciate it. It'd be like that summer all over again." Soos kneels down gives the kids a hug. "You know what? I am going to help too. As much I love him, sometimes Vito's adventures can be a bit much for me." Wendy said, agreeing to help Soos and work at the tourist trap again. "Attention everyone, PAD and SECU personnel and unwanted civilians, were about to leave from Test Site Clark in two minutes." An SECU soldier announces to everyone through a loudspeaker as men in hazmat suits give them iodine pills to swallow. The thunderbirds walk towards them. "Dipper, kids, Soos, and Hunter, we'd like to thank you for being honest with us and trying to help send Harold back to the lake before Doctor Landa did Doctor Landa stuff. We'd also like that book of the damned so nothing like this will happen again. The BOC will be here any minute to cover this up." Malik tells them. "I mean…. I was going to use this to unleash an undead army to destroy the Democratic national committee, but I also don't want to locked up in a black site and water boarded to death; so what the hell?" Hunter gives in and gives them the book. "And stop talking about the weird shit that's been happening in gravity falls and roadkill county, for your and your family's sake." Blaze warned him. Everyone in the thunderbirds leaves them be except for a Vito. "Mind if I ride with you guys? I pushed my limit when it comes to cardio tonight." Vito asks them. "Sure V, you're always welcome." Wendy said to him with a smile. "Don't you have superpowers?" Robbie asks him with a frown, with his hoodie back to normal. "Eh I just feel lazy at the moment. Plus I want to hang with my best friend here." Vito answered Robbie. "Whatever." Robbie said, walking away to the Patriot Mobile with his hands in his pocket in a sour mood. They all get into the Patriot mobile with Robbie sitting in the passenger sit next to Hunter on the wheel and everyone else in the back, while Manly Dan catches up with the rest of his squadmates inside that V-25.

"On scale of one to ten how crazy was tonight? I felt like we were in a real monster movie. I give it a nine." Al asks everyone as Hunter turns on the ignition. "OH WOW, IT WAS CRAZY FOR YOU EH? I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. IT MAKES YOU FEEL GLAD THAT YOU DIDN'T SEE YOUR FRIENDS GET EATEN BY A ROCK MONSTER, DOES IT!?" Robbie snaps at him. "I didn't mean it as a good thing Robbie, I was just saying that tonight was insane." Al clears it up. Robbie doesn't say anything and sulks in his seat, staring into the void of the night sky through his window. "Nine." Dipper answered. "Ten. I don't know how we dodged those helicopters and aircraft falling out of the sky." Mabel said. "Nine." Soos answered. "Same here Soos." Wendy agrees with him. "Seven." Vito said. "Seven? Bro you must have seen and been through a lot of when you were a mobster. Huh?" Al said to him. "The less said about it the better." Vito replied. "Let's talk about something else." Wendy said. "Do you guys want to anything this Saturday to chill after tonight?" Wendy then asks. "I feel like I should take a shower after seeing Robbie's bandmates get ripped and torn apart like that." Dipper told everyone. "Lord knows I am. And thanks." Robbie said to Dipper. "I don't know, maybe play some video games or something." Al answered. "How about I invite you and Pacifica to our mom's apartment to hang with us?" Mabel asks him. "Pacifica? Sweeeet. Count me in." Al replied. "I'll get the viagra." Al muttered to himself. "Aren't you too young to be using that? Also isn't Vito sitting right next to you?" Dipper asks him. Vito looks down at him. "Oh right, I was totally kidding about that. I'm too young to have erectile dysfunction." Al said, then laughs awkwardly. "If you kids don't mind, I'll be there to make sure nobody does anything stupid like last time, particularly Al." Vito guarantees them. "Yeah same here. We have a history of bumping into weird stuff before." Wendy reminds them. "I don't feel very comfortable about having our parents as an emergency contact, they'll find some excuse to get us grounded for any reason even if it's just for jaywalking. So I'll have my boss, Malik Bylilly as an emergency contact." Vito tells them. "Wow, your parents are that strict dude? That's rough." Soos then commented. "It's a figure of speech, but yeah they're very draconian." Vito admits. "They even said that Wendy is somehow a 'bad influence.'" Al tells the group. "Booooo." Everyone said altogether. "I'll have Soos as an emergency contact too, my dad could make things worse." Wendy told them. "So what are doing tomorrow at my mom's place?" Dipper asks. "I have rented a game from Rose Tinted Tapes And Discs. It's a game supposed to be so bad that it's fun, it's called the Plan 9 of Outer Space for video games." Al announces to them. "I'll bring my Xbox 360 with me." He then said. "Okay, sounds good." Dipper said. "Cool." said Wendy. "That's the first normal thing that isn't disturbing I've heard you say today Al." Vito jokes. "We're going to have an epic night tomorrow guys. After all, what can possibly go wrong?" Mabel then proudly asks. Meanwhile in the Thunderbirds Squad's V-25, Manly Dan, Blaze, Arturo as it's gunner, Mole Moe as it's pilot, and Malik have a chat. Their V-25 is full customized with multimade radar, a pilot night vision system, and a trophy system. Its armed with a M230 auto cannon, sentry turrets fitted with mini guns and automatic grenade launchers at each door, hydra rocket pods on each bottom of its wings alongside hellfire missiles, and air to air stinger missiles at the end of each of its wings. Thunderbird painted on each of its tail deices, shark mouth decals by each of the pilot's doors. "The FNG is doing well all things considered." Mole Moe admits. "He's got a temper on him, more so than any other teenage boy I've met, I'll say." Arturo tells them. "I'm surprised he hasn't eaten any household pets yet, or if ever from looking at his files." Blaze said. "Blaze I used to be just like him you know that?" Malik asks Blaze. "I was angry all the time and used to hate almost everything up until I decided that being a werebear wasn't for me, and I had to be cured. The effects of being werebeast varies from person to person. I know a were-lion at the Klandagi reservation who has her life together after following Peyotism." Malik mentions. "Is she just like Vito?" Blaze asks. "No, she's way less angry and unhinged than he is. We should give him some peyote tea, the mescaline will soothe his bloodlust and more animalistic side as a werebeast." Malik suggests. "Yeah yeah." Blaze said while rolling his eyes. "What do you think of the FNG Dan? How do you feel about Vito hanging out with your daughter all the time?" Arturo asks. "I've talked to him after the party he and Wendy three at Amber Mountain at my cabin. I gave him a warning if he does anything like that with my daughter again, I'll tell his asshole parents." Manly Dan said to them. "Other than that Vito is fine. He's proven himself to be more than capable of keeping her and others safe many times, including that horrid day that nobody should have to go through. Plus he is a lot brighter than Wendy's other friends though, without question." He then added with a grin. "I can believe that." Malik said to him.

The next day

Mabel, Al and Pacifica stand around Dipper as they watch a video on Dipper's phone outside of Astor Middle School in the afternoon, minutes after spending detention during Saturday morning for taking a part of Al's scheme to prank a substitute teacher by putting five laxative pills in her coffee after taking their electronics away in a desk. "My dear viewer, you have seen this incident based on the footage from my hidden shaky cam disguised as a pen in my shirt's pocket. Can you prove that it didn't happen? You can't because I have it all on camera. Take that liberals! Perhaps on your way home, you will wonder what the deep state plans to do with such monstrosities. Many people across the globe are starting to realize that the paranormal exists despite the 'nevermind all that' bill and the deep state taking over RoadKill County. We once laughed at the idea that we evolved from a missing link to apes, that there's life in our solar system, that there was giant reptiles that existed before us, that we could clone sheep which could lead to the invention of real life furry wolf and cat wives that we will keep locked in our basements. And now some of us laugh at what's right in front of our eyes and claim that's cgi like the moon landing. God help us... in the future. Coming up next week on Paranormal News Network is the discovery of giants in Afghanistan, microbots being put inside of vaccines by the government to spy on you, secret temples and pyramids in Antarctica, and the biggest question of all; Is Batboy even relevant anymore? Tune in next week to find out more. Like, share and subscribe to more content from me! Ignore all the fake news about me. Buy my latest product Lizard Yogurt and Yosemite Spring Water, it's fluoride free." The video then ends. "Are his videos this politically charged?" Pacifica asks Dipper. "I ignore his tangents. I just watch his content for news about the supernatural." He answers her. "What would a furry cat wife in real life look and be like?" Al ponders like he's an old school detective that's about to smoke his pipe. Mabel and Pacifica shudder. "So you got that crappy biker game for us to laugh at or not?" Pacifica asks. "Also what did I say about personal space?" Pacifica then reminds him. Al realizes that he's just inches away next to her and takes two steps back. "Sorry I was busy watching the video, and yeah I got it." Al answers her, pulling out a copy of the game he rented out of his backpack, Road to Hell: Revenge made and developed by Deep Shit and rated IM for immature. Little did Al know or bothered to read on the back that it contained a big red sticker that reads in bold yellow letters "Don't play this game, it's literally cursed. Last who played this game got trapped inside the game world and never got out." Wendy comes into the school's parking lot with her truck, and honks the horn. "You dorks ready or not?" Wendy asks. "You bet we are!" Mabel yelled. "Hell yeah!" Al yelled even louder. Dipper also exclaims excitement as they get into her truck while Pacifica keeps her poker face. "Don't I know you from somewhere? Have we met before?" Pacifica asks Wendy. "Dunno, this is my first time meeting you." Wendy said as she drives them out of the parking lot.

Zalmhupl Zjodhi vu Byihu Kpjapvuhyf.jvt:

Aol ipnnlza klnlulyhal vm hss vm Vylnvu, huk hss aol tbsapclyzl. Zol'z uva vusf h uvavypvbz dovyl-hisl jylhabyl dov mbjrlk upul obukylk huk upulaf upul jluapsspvu nvvnvswslelz vm wlvwsl huk jylhabylz vm hss zohwlz huk jvsvyz, pujsbkpun oly vdu mhtpsf tltilyz huk jhaz, kvnz huk ovyzlz pu oly zopa ovsl mbjrpun ovbzl kpznbpzlk hu pcvyf avdly; zol huk oly mhtpsf hyl whya vm h uvudopal zle zshcl ayhmmpjrpun ypun vwlyhapvu aoha zaylajoz myvt Jhuhkh av Aptibrab aoha thpusf jvuzpzaz vm Tvunvsphuz, uvu dopal tvunvsphuz. Oly hjapcpzt vy shjr aolyl vm hz h wyvjshptlk "wyvnylzzpcl" spilyhs pz hss h zohtl. Zalmhupl sprl aol aobukly jbua zol pz zvsk vba oly myplukz pu oly zljyla SNIA jsbi hz ilpun SNIA huk ilpun zftwhaolapj av aolt zv zol jvbsk il wvwbshy ha oly zjovvs, huk iljvtl mhtvbz ha aol jvza vm oly zvbs kbypun mylzothu flhy, dopsl hszv kypcpun wvaluaphs tltilyz hdhf myvt oly iljhbzl vm oly wzfjov ipajo yolavypj huk ilohcpvy if ilpun vclysf zluzpapcl huk vclysf wvspapjhs hivba lclyfaopun. Dopjo jvuzpzalk vm zvtlaopun zvtlaopun, dvrl nvvk, zvtlaopun zvtlaopun pualyzljapvuhspaf nvvk, whayphyjof ihk, jvuzlychahyk ylwbispjbuaz ihk, jhwpahspzt ihk, P kvu'a ruvd ovd lszl av klzjypil pa. Oly thupmlzav dhz avv tbjo mvy tl av ylhk, ivao oly vuspul isvnz huk aol pualycpldz vm oly if shal upnoa ahsr zovd ovzaz hyl avv svun mvy tl av dhajo.

Ihzpjhssf, doha zol kpk dhz aol mpuhs uhps vu aol jvmmpu, jhbzpun h sva vm tltilyz av il ibssplk ylsluaslzzsf pu zjovvs, kpzvdulk if aolpy mhtpsplz, huk lclu jhbzlk vul tltily av jvttpa zbpjpkl. Aopz thkl ohsm vm ohsm vm aol tltilyz slhcl oly jsbi hz pa aolu ayhuzmvytz puav zvtlaopun lszl dpao h uld uhtl dopjo pz hu hjoyvuft P jhu'a yltltily. Zalmhupl hszv slhrlk wpjabylz vm oly svcly hz ylclunl wvyu vuspul wvzpun hz oly mvy slhcpun hmaly ilpun kvul dpao oly zopa, zwljpmpjhssf mvy thrpun aol zljyla jsbi uva zv zljyla huftvyl aoyvbno wbispj msplyz huk zvjphs tlkph hjjvbuaz.

If aol dhf zol nhcl wlvwsl h uld ZAK jhsslk Zjodhilk ubaz, huk zslwa dpa Tz Yhclu Jvjribyu, h mvytly wvyuzahy dov'z uvd h opno zjovvs alhjoly, huk dpao aolpy wvdlyz jvtipulk aolf npcl wlvwsl h uld ZAK jhsslk Zjodhilk Yhclu Jvjribyu. Huk Zalmhupl svza oly cpynpupaf av Vjahcph hz hu buivyu mlabz. Hjjvykpun av zvtl ohcpun zle dpao Zalmhupl pz sprl aoyvdpun h ova kvn puav h ishjr ovsl.

"Fvb lcly olhyk vm aoha tvaolymbjrpun Zalmhupl Zjodhi zsba upnnh?"

"Zbyl kpk Ayhjlf, doha zol kpk av Dlukf dhz mbjrpun hdmbs. Zalmhupl Zjodhi zbjrz ohpyf kvurlf hzz."

"Uva av tluapvu zol slma Cpav mvy klhk dolu zol nhcl aolt av aovzl dlyldvsm obualyz. Ol'z zbjo h obur dov'z avahssf uva mha. Dl nvaah ohun aoha kvn jvjr nviispun, ovyzl jbt nbynspun, lslwohua ztlnth lhapun, mhrl hzz zvjphs qbzapjl dhyypvy, wbzzf ipajo hzz, thupwbshapcl bylaoyh mhjl myvt h ayll zvtlkhf Xbhaayv tf nvk khtu, tvaoly mbjrpun upnnh."

"Olss av aol tvaoly mbjrpun flho Ayhjlf, olss av aol tvaoly mbjrpun flho. Huk nla aol htbsla huk qvbyuhs 2, jhu'a mvynla aovzl."