A/N Do I only have the vaguest idea of what I'm doing here? Totes. If you're still reading at this point fucking bless LOL. You ever get the feeling you're really just writing a rough first draft and will get halfway through it and go WAIT I KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW? We can only hope.
June woke up before Stu or Carl to a cold fire and colder bite in the air. But it wasn't snowing, in fact the rapid runs of water off the edge of the cave mouth spoke to things warming up outside. The cave was swathed in dull grey without the sun up quite yet. She slipped out of their makeshift bed as smoothly as possible, letting go of Carl and tucking the sleeping bag back in around him.
Cold ice melt dripped down her back as she stepped outside and took a deep breath of thick damp air. She carved a path through the ferns and bushes to find a place to relieve herself and when she was finished she pulled her coat tight around her and looked out through the trees.
The storm last night had been dangerous enough, they weren't prepared for a full on winter. What had she been thinking, dragging Carl up here? Staying away from people and walkers didn't do them any good if they just froze to death instead. Then again, in hindsight she doubted she'd been thinking completely clearly when she'd made that decision. People, at that moment, had been far more dangerous than snow. They'd proven that much. At least freezing to death could be peaceful.
On top of that, If Carl had noticed her morning sickness escapes, he didn't let on, but Stu sure noticed, and if he was trying to hide it he wasn't doing a very good job. She could tell he was worried, sensed that something was wrong and she was holding something back. After weeks now of traveling together it was obvious she wasn't bit, but the semi daily morning vomit session in the woods didn't leave too many other options for what the problem could be. The problem he had, at least that she assumed, was they were rarely fully out of earshot of Carl long enough for him to ask about it, which suited her just fine. She didn't particularly want to think about the baby or how it came to be there and the longer it was a secret the longer she could ignore it. Whatever time she had left to pretend it wasn't happening she'd take, it was too dangerous to try and get rid of it so this was all she had.
Besides, Stu wasn't showing any indication that he was going to run off on them, was it wrong to keep it from him when it changed the entire situation and put him in extra danger?
Probably.
Fuck.
"Mornin'." Stu said from behind her with his blanket hung over his shoulder like a beach towel.
"Morning. Looks like we're getting lucky today, sun's not even up yet and it's melting off."
"Thank god, even real snow woulda been better than all that sleet." He agreed.
With a shake he draped his blanket over her shoulders and she pulled it close around her neck.
"Thanks." The silence was awkward, and heavy, so she finally just said it. "We can't keep moving in weather like this, it's only gonna get worse."
Stu stuffed his hands in his pocket and gave a stiff nod. "I agree. If we can find someplace to hole up, maybe a hunters cabin or one of those forest service ones, we could hunker down until spring. Should be enough game in these woods, we could find a town to stock up on supplies."
"We'd be far enough out that nobody should stumble across us. It'd be safe."
"This means we're gonna have to find the trail instead of avoiding it. More likely to run into walkers then."
"Walkers I can handle." All they did was eat you.
He glanced behind him at the cave, like he was making sure Carl wasn't following them out. "You told him yet?"
"About what?"
"The baby." He said, hitting the nail on the head.
June sighed and pulled her hands over her braided hair. "Let me guess, the morning sickness?"
"Made for an easy guess."
"No. He doesn't." But someone knowing made her feel remarkably lighter about the whole thing. "He's had enough reason to worry about things, I wasn't going to add to it until I had to. His mom…long story."
Stu nodded, pulling his hands from his pockets to cross his arms. "How far along are you?"
"I dunno." She lied. "Few months or so when we met" Add another by now. Picking at the dirt under her nails she stared down at the damp leaf litter between her boots. "If you wanna split up now I understand. Babies don't really belong in the apocalypse, they just put you in more danger."
What she was going to do if he left she didn't know, she'd been getting used to having him around way too quickly and it was stupid. You didn't rely on strangers anymore, you just didn't.
To her surprise, he laughed. "June, if that was gonna scare me off I would've left already."
A weight lifted off her chest, like her hopes about him were affirmed and she hadn't been wrong. "Really?"
"Yes, really. You think I could walk away now? Leave you like this with Carl out here in the wilderness?"
She scoffed at his optimism at morality lately. "I hoped not but I didn't wanna bank on it."
He laughed again. "Well bank on it."
They chuckled together somewhat awkwardly, letting it fade slowly into silence that sat as heavily on their shoulders as the situation they were faced with.
"I uh, probably none of my business but…" He grimaced slightly at his curiosity. "Carl's dad…is he…"
June sputtered with a laugh and shook her head, looking away from him. "No, he's not. I uh…" The mirth at his guess died in her throat. "The father's dead, I uh…I think."
"I'm real sorry, June, I shouldn't have asked."
The thought that Stu had any sort of good feelings towards the father made her stomach sour. "Don't be. I hope he's dead."
She could see his face out of the corner of her eye, softening as his mouth opened like he wanted to say something but nothing came out. There was more than enough subtext for him to guess at what kind of situation it might have been.
Hurriedly she changed the subject. Anything to get off of the inevitability ahead of them. "We should get packed up, try to find the trail before nightfall."
"Right." He agreed, distracted by something rolling around in his head but being too polite to broach it.
They didn't find the trail that day, or the next. But the third day, they caught sight of a white pitched roof through the trees and found themselves on the firm asphalt of a small town street.
Stu looked at the sign at the edge of town. "Population six hundred and forty-seven. Best keep our eyes peeled, they can't have all wandered off."
She didn't have to tell Carl to stay close, or to keep his hand ready for his knife while she and Stu readied their rifles. "Let's start with the pharmacy there. Carl, keep an eye on the road."
He stood by the double doors while she followed Stu inside. The dark corners of stores always made her skin crawl. Eyes never leaving the isles, Stu took a pair of sunglasses off a display and pitched it into the darkness. They waited, listening to their hearts pound and praying that was all they'd hear.
He tapped her arm. "Stay behind me, let's check the back."
No walkers, no people, just an empty cold and flu section and her heart finally stopped pounding. "Making me miss the forest." She mumbled, plucking ibuprofen off the shelf.
"Hey, check this out." On the other side of the store Stu sorted through a rack of winter coats and snow pants. "Gotta love a small town pharmacy. Modern day general store." He held up a brown jacket. "Carl, come in here and try this on."
Backpacks, jackets, hats, and gloves all had their price tags ripped off as they switched out their worn out gear for new.
Bitterly she paused in the baby section, waiting for Carl to be distracted by lacing a new pair of hiking boots before shoving a few things in her backpack. A couple onesies, a bottle, some baby tylenol. Her hands shook, she was terrified of the next few months, of the months after.
Would she die, like Lori had? How would they travel with a baby? What if they had to sneak, avoid a hoard, or avoid people? Nothing had gone right since the prison, nothing except Stu. But at least someone else knew, now. Something about how he caught her eye when she looked up from the pacifiers softened it. She wasn't alone anymore. And if something happened to her, then Carl wouldn't be either.
Back outside, packs stocked and heavy, they checked up and down the street again. They waited, listened, and watched.
Stu was bothered. "Still quiet. That seem weird to you?"
"Small town, might've congregated someplace? Or evacuated." Yeah, like they'd be that lucky to have the town be empty.
Carl fidgeted beside her. "Bet there's someplace with real beds though."
God a real bed, no weather blowing around a damp cave or makeshift lean to. "Might be a motel further down?" She offered to Stu, seeing dreams of linens in his eyes.
Closed signs sat in every store window they passed. They left the church doors shut, she'd never seen a church without walkers and she wasn't about to hope for one now.
An L shaped motel sat at the other end of the main stretch, several dirty cars in parking spots. "Five cars. One for the owner and four for visitors?" She suggested.
"Seven rooms, let's get knockin', see which ones are still occupied."
Stu started at one end and she and Carl at the other. While she watched the road and parking lot he knocked, listened, and moved on when a shuffle came from inside. Next was the same. Two cars down, two to go.
They met Stu in the middle, accounting for everyone and choosing room #3 for having empty rooms around it too. The last thing they needed was a gurgling walker next door keeping them awake.
She quickly dispatched the walker grasping for them from behind the office counter and plucked the key off the board while Carl dumped the candy display into his bag.
The room smelled musty, but it had been cleaned before the end came so the beds were made and the toiletries were filled. At the click of the door locking behind them and Stu making sure the bathroom was cleared, June threw her backpack aside and flopped back onto the cheap mattress, wondering how she'd ever found something so heavenly to be uncomfortable.
"Nap first." She mumbled as Stu did the same on the other bed and Carl bellyflopped next to her.
"Nap first." Stu agreed with a sigh.