A/N: The following is an excerpt/leak of a future chapter section in Legend & Legacy: Book Two.
L&L: Book Two is exclusively on AO3. But I wanted to share this future excerpt since it also works as a comedic one-shot.
This excerpt also has an Easter Egg: Look out for the fairy tale element that I incorporate (I like to do that in my work). It's all classic humor. :)
Enjoy!
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LEGEND & LEGACY:
How to Lose at Chess and Win at Life
Trunks found himself in an unshakably good mood. The coordinates that they finally received were like an anchor to his emotional chaos over the last few days.
Finally, after an entire week lost in space, Trunks felt as if he were pulled back into familiar waters. He felt he had direction again. He felt in control again.
The situation wasn't completely fixed, sure, but knowing they weren't just drifting aimlessly anymore was enough for him to feel like celebrating.
And that was exactly what he intended to do.
As Trunks walked into the office with a buoyant step, he found Pan sitting cross-legged in the office chair, flipping through a well-worn book.
A pile of strategy books lay on the floor beside her chair, and a small wooden chessboard was on top of the desk.
Pan was so engrossed in her book that she didn't even look up at Trunks when he entered. Her eyes flicked over checkered diagrams on the pages with a kind of intensity that Trunks only saw when she was training or preparing to fight.
Her expression stirred a sense of excitement within him, which was further fueled by his announcement of his good news.
"Alright, Poof," Trunks stretched his arms behind his head, "in honor of our impending return to civilization, I'm officially giving you the day off."
Pan didn't look up from her book as she stated, "I don't want a day off."
Trunks blinked. "What?"
"I said I don't want a day off." She turned a page. "I like working."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he waved a dismissive hand, and then eagerly suggested, "Come on, let's do something stupid."
Pan sighed loudly, and finally glanced up at him. "Stupid like what?"
"I don't know…" Trunks shrugged, then gestured toward the chessboard, reaching for an idea. "How about a board game?"
Pan raised an eyebrow, sitting up slightly. "You think chess is stupid?" She tilted the book in her hands. "Do you even know how to play chess?"
Trunks scoffed, puffing out his chest. "Of course I do. I played your dad once when I was…" he paused, and looked up with a thoughtful frown, bringing his fingers to his chin as he recalled his age, "...eleven?"
Pan's mouth curled into a mischievous grin. "That doesn't qualify you as a contender against me."
Trunks brought his eyes to hers and gaped, "A contender?!" He then pointed at himself in mock outrage, "Did you just imply that you have a chance of winning against me?!"
Pan's grin sharpened as her dark tourmaline eyes glittered with challenge. "I don't THINK I can beat you…" she teased in a sickeningly-sweet tone, "I KNOW I can."
Trunks gasped dramatically, clutching his chest as if she had physically struck him. And then he excitedly retorted, "Excuse me?! Are you underestimating how much I'm about to CRUSH you?"
"Oh, I love this," Pan purred, clearly enjoying his indignation far too much.
Trunks narrowed his eyes and rolled his, getting into the spirit of it now. "I win at every board game."
Pan flipped her book shut with a taunting little smile. "Chess isn't a board game."
Trunks' brows furrowed. "…What?"
"It's a sport," she said smugly.
Trunks scoffed, waving a hand. "Yeah, right, and so is pickleball. People can believe just about anything."
Pan leaned forward with elbows on her knees. "Alright, hot shot. Let's make this interesting."
Trunks' grin sharpened, as he felt her rise to match his energy level. "Ohhh, I like this. What do you have in mind?"
"If I win," she said, eyes twinkling, "you have to eat ten pickles."
Trunks snorted. "Pffft. That's nothing."
Pan smirked. "Then you shouldn't have a problem, should you?"
Trunks folded his arms, sizing her up. "…Alright. And if I win," he pointed at her, "you have to eat five pickles."
Pan blinked and tilted her head, suddenly confused, "Wait, hold on. Why do I have to eat fewer pickles than you for the same bet?"
"Because I'm not going to lose," Trunks said with absolute confidence. "And I'm being nice to you."
Pan grinned. "Oh, you're so generous."
"Hah!" Trunks stood tall, beaming with arrogance as he prepared to destroy her. "I'll even let you be White."
Pan cracked her knuckles and reset the board.
––––––––
It only took four moves.
White e4, Black e5
White Qh5, Black Nc6
White Bc4, Black Nf6
White Qxf7 - "Checkmate!" Pan squealed.
Trunks stared at the board. "What?"
"I said 'checkmate' and that you're eating ten pickles!" She gloated gleefully.
"That's not fair. No... but the - but, the - what?!"
It finally registered to Trunks that he had fallen for a trap. He stared, aghast, at the small wooden chessboard and pulled his bangs back with both of his hands as he gaped, stunned speechless at the board.
Pan just laughed joyously as if his reaction pushed all of her boastful buttons.
"No!" He suddenly interjected her thoughts with a stubborn scowl, and he stood up from his stool to angrily grab at his hair again, "That's CHEATING!"
"It's not cheating!" She folded her arms and huffed, "I won fair and square!"
"It's cheating to win chess in four fucking moves!" Trunks spouted and stomped and kicked at his stool, which swiveled a bit, but didn't fall.
"Hey!" Pan chastised him and stood up to make her point, "Stop being a sore loser! You owe me ten pickles!"
"I want a REMATCH!" Trunks stabilized the stool, then slid back onto it, now eager and hungry for a win.
"Be careful," Pan warned. "You're gonna have to eat twenty pickles when you lose."
"When I-?!" Trunks' eyes were tempestuous at her arrogance as he pointed his finger at Pan, then to himself, then at the board as he boldly said, "YOU. ME. REMATCH. NOW."
So Pan played him. She wordlessly reset the pieces, and then turned the board around.
This time, she took Black.
Trunks enjoyed having the initiative, and decided to open the game with the same white pawn that Pan had previously played.
White e4, Black e5
White Ne2, Black Qh4
White Nc3, Black Nc6
White g3, Black Qg5
White d4, Black Nxd4
White Bxg5, Black Nf3 - "Checkmate!"
"NO!" Trunks screamed at the board with vehement rejection, and then slammed the office desk with both palms, -SMACK-!
Pan just laughed.
Trunks boiled inside, bitter and soured that Pan must have thought this was the greatest, most amazing, most fan-fucking-tastic moment of her entire life - when she was able to defeat Trunks so epically twice in a row.
It made him so mad!
And Trunks didn't take losing well.
He stood up and started to angrily STOMP around the room in circles like an angry toddler. -stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp-
Pan sighed and rolled her eyes, as she sat back in the office chair, "Are you gonna stop having a hissy fit now?"
"NO!" Trunks stopped, with legs spread wide as he accusingly pointed at her, "YOU'RE CHEATING!"
She brought her arms up and shrugged as if questioning him, "You can't cheat in chess!"
"Yes you can!" Trunks spouted, "You can cheat in anything!"
"Did YOU cheat?!" Pan folded her arms again, and also crossed her legs.
"What?!" Trunks was caught off guard. "OF COURSE NOT! But don't you start giving me ideas!"
He pointed rudely to her again, and then, feeling as if he couldn't express himself loudly enough, he frustratedly continued to stomp in circles, -stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp-.
And then Pan had the audacity to chuckle!
"Hehe… hehehahaha!" Pan laughed in a way that Trunks could not interpret as anything other than diabolical, and it made him even more enraged.
And then, with all her bravado, Pan smirked at him with her version of a haughty grin. Trunks could tell that she was loving this.
Pan then said, "Cheating or not, Trunks," she gloated triumphantly, "You still owe me twenty pickles!"
––––––––
That night, Trunks was steaming mad as he cooked dinner.
After eating twenty fucking pickles, and then having to take on dinner duty, he was not interested in entertaining Pan with anything even remotely tasty.
As his subtle form of revenge, Trunks had chosen to make a spaghetti marinara dinner - the most basic and bland dish he could possibly think to make.
He had a few reasons for choosing the simple meal. First, he wanted to avoid animal products. Ever since he had woken up after their escape from Planet Vidal, just the smell of meat and cheese upset his stomach. He didn't understand it, but he attributed his physical aversion to non-vegan food to something that Baby must have done to his stomach.
Not being able to eat meat gave Trunks plenty of reasons to feel frustrated. But all of his negative emotions were exacerbated by the second reason he wanted to cook spaghetti for dinner. And his head was bursting with distracted, and somewhat rageful thoughts.
He felt humiliated. All because of losing stupid, stupid chess game - twice!
And worse - there was no one to blame but himself!
He prickled and pouted over the stove, grumbling to himself about how he had overestimated his own capabilities within the game.
Trunks didn't understand how the losses even happened. He was always talented with any game. One of his personal strengths was that he could pick up any game, or any sport, and be automatically good at it. That was what he was known for when he was younger.
Games, especially, came naturally to him.
He loved how games all had rules that were meant to be bent. That was Trunks' bread and butter. It's what made games enjoyable to him.
But that goddamned board game, chess! That was a different story, and now one that Trunks would not take lightly.
Although he knew how to work the pieces and play a good technical game, there was deceit on the chessboard. Among Trunks' efforts to re-familiarize himself with the gameplay as he made his moves, he had fallen for Pan's trick plays!
Those moves were traps! She didn't just play normally that way. She knew what she was doing!
Feeling pouty, and stubborn, Trunks aggressively stirred the pasta pot, making a whirlpool in the water. He kept thinking of Pan's pesky knight that came from nowhere and checkmated him in six moves!
He would get his revenge, somehow. Ouuu, Pan was going to have another thing coming to her! He would get her back for that trick and she'd never see it coming!
He just needed an idea - something that would irk the hell out of Pan… but also something complex and long-lasting, which Trunks could savor like a fine wine as he'd get away with whatever he did.
Trunks huffed as he turned the heat lower on the marinara sauce.
Despite how it all was ironically petty, Trunks felt like there was never a greater need for divine intervention than this moment, right now.
He needed help from the gods. He needed to think of something creative, and out of the box.
Trunks looked up to the kitchen ceiling, recalling his wedding day, when he had met King Kai and had learned that the Kai had been watching Trunks for some time.
Trunks had his suspicions that the gods were watching, even now. So, for the sake of it, and to test the sense of humor among the gods, he decided to pray aloud, "Lord of Lords, or anyone under - please give me an idea that will frustrate Pan, while I can laugh my ass-" he hesitated, "I mean, butt off."
He smiled hopefully at the ceiling, but there was only silence, except for roiling bubbles of the boiling pasta water.
And then… it was as if the heavens pierced through the silence and gave him his answer:
Pan's scream emanated from the living room, "AAAAHHH, GRANDPA!"
Trunks perked up, suddenly on high alert.
Pan's voice continued to shout, "You know you're not allowed to be naked when you walk around!"
Trunks was suddenly very interested as he silently mouthed, "Naked?!"
Trunks tried to crane his head to peek into the living room, but from his angle, he couldn't see anything past the bedroom.
"Why don't you wear a different gi?!" Pan shouted beyond the wall.
Goku's voice retorted, "The last one was the only one that fit. Now everything else is too small!"
"Use one of Trunks' shirts, then!"
"Naaaa," Goku's voice rang throughout the ship, "I don't need to borrow nothin'. Plus, I like walking around the house naked. What's wrong with that?!"
"Aaaagh," Pan's voice cried out in anguish, and pleaded dramatically, "At least WEAR SOMETHING TO COVER YOUR…" there was a pause, "...WINKY!"
"KHH!" Trunks stifled a laugh.
Sometimes Pan and Goku could be just ridiculous on board, and it looked like this was again one of those days. Their banter used to annoy Trunks in the past, because he viewed their arguments as immature and beneath him… but…
Something had shifted within Trunks lately. He instead found this kind of exchange to feel more… endearing.
It made him feel comfortable. It made him feel more at home.
"What's wrong with my winky?!" Goku shouted defensively as his voice sounded closer.
"EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR WINKY!"
Trunks snorted, and rose a spoonful of the marinara sauce to his mouth to taste it.
Then, seeing movement in the corner of his eye, as Trunks began to swallow, he looked up and saw Goku - who stood naked in the kitchen threshold, with his rear end facing Trunks.
Goku's brown tail stiffened with aggravation as the youthful Saiyan twisted his hips in exaggerated fashion, making a -flap, flap- sound as he shouted, "BUT IT PEES JUST FINE!"
"HAKHH!" Trunks choked on the tomato sauce in his laughter, "KHH! KHH! Hehahaha- khh!"
Trunks' coughing fit caught Goku's attention, who turned his head to watch as Trunks set the sauce spoon down in laughter, and then turned off its stove heat.
"COVER YOURSELF!" was Pan's response from the living room, but she already felt like a voice that faded into the background.
Goku turned and dragged his feet with great lamentation into the kitchen as he made his way toward Trunks.
"What's wrong?" Trunks couldn't help but smirk after he caught his breath, "She's not interested in the Pen-15 Club?" He then emphasized with two dramatic winks, "Winky-Winky!"
Goku just blinked at him, clearly not comprehending the joke.
The young-bodied Saiyan then frowned, "I don't get it. What's the Pen-15 Club?"
"It's - err…" Trunks froze, and realized that, of course Goku wouldn't have gotten that joke. And, now that he thought about it, he wasn't even sure if Pan would have gotten it. And then he wondered how it was ever funny to begin with.
He shook his head, mostly at himself. "Never mind; it's one of those jokes that used to be funny when I was a kid."
Goku's tail swayed a bit as he thought, and then wondered aloud, "What do you mean used to be funny? What makes a joke not funny anymore?"
"Well you know…" Trunks checked the pasta by lifting a strand from the water, "It's like… like, think of pranks."
Trunks examined the pasta, adding, "Sometimes pranks can be funny in the moment… but…" He took a bite from one end of the pasta to test its elasticity, and raised his eyes upward as he chewed and assessed, adding, "The best pranks are ones that are classic."
Goku looked equally as confused. "What makes something classic?"
On instinct, Trunks kept his fork held high and said, "Like… spaghetti."
"Spaghetti?" Goku looked at the remaining pasta noodle on Trunks' fork, unable to see the connection.
Trunks grinned a bit, and swallowed, feeling a spark of camaraderie. He liked when people asked him to explain things more, and Goku was pressing all of the right buttons with him today.
It wasn't often that he and Goku engaged in casual conversation like this. Or if they did - it wasn't common for Trunks to feel a rising tide of puckishness within him.
This whole situation felt funny to Trunks. And, he liked this joyous feeling inside him. It made waves inside him as his quick-thinking mind began to manifest ideas… especially with Goku standing naked in the kitchen.
For Trunks, especially knowing that Pan was steaming about Goku's nudity… everything about this felt like classic comedy. It made his grin grow even wider as he thought of how to define it in a way that Goku could understand.
"Maybe… think of 'classic' as something timeless," Trunks suggested to Goku, with a waxing grin. "Like a good spaghetti dish… think of it like, no matter what age, or how long it's been, your joke will always hit the spot. That's what makes it classic."
"Like spaghetti…" Goku said, and his eyes brightened as he finally made the connection. As Goku's eyes lit with recognition, Trunks felt a rewarding feeling rile him up even more. He liked explaining things in a way people understood. He enjoyed this kind of challenge. It made real life feel more like a game…
In fact, this situation remarkably mirrored chess, after all.
Trunks smiled, wondering if there was any truth in how chess was a sport…
Pan might win by moving pieces on the board, but Trunks knew how to move pieces in real life.
Trunks felt his fingers tingle as all of his frustrated energy from earlier began to catalyze and convert into a pool of energetic glee…
He loved this.
There was an opportunity here. Real classic comedy…
The rapscallion within Trunks arose impishly as he embraced this naughty feeling, especially after two checkmates against him that were unanswered for.
Trunks would win this game. Now… Trunks was inspired...!
His toothy mug and eyes sparkled with an idea for a classic prank.
Eureka!
"Hey Goku, I have an idea…" Trunks grinned wolfishly.
Then, with the fork in his right hand, Trunks gestured up and down Goku's lower body while mirthfully keeping eye contact as he added, "You know - about your gi situation."
"Huh?" Goku blinked, and looked down at his naked body, trying to see what Trunks had been pointing his fork at.
"I'll get Giru to make you an outfit," Trunks promised. "In fact - I'll have him make you a few new outfits, so you can uh… hang out freely," he grinned.
"You will?!" Goku brightened.
"Yeah…" Trunks' grin was from ear to ear as he buzzed with the thought, "Outfits that Pan will never, ever forget."
Goku failed to pick up on Trunks' rising amusement, and instead smiled with hopeful optimism, "So Pan won't yell about my clothes anymore?"
"HaHYUK!" Trunks stopped another burst of laughter at the thought of his own prank idea, and dismissively laughed, "Oh, you know Pan. Hahaha. She'll always see something that makes her kvetch."
Goku blinked, "Makes her what?"
"Oh never mind that," Trunks said with devilish glee. Then, he took the initiative in his real-life chess game that he challenged for himself, calling for the ship's Pawn, "Hey, Giru! GIRU!"
Within moments, the little white robot flew into the kitchen, drifting in the air like a vehicle on a slick road as he made a quick curve, and then quickly floated over to the stove, where Trunks and Goku were standing.
"There's my Sous Chef!" Trunks beamed.
"Giru-Giru!" The little white robot saluted in the air.
Trunks gestured to the dinner pots with the fork that was still in his right hand, "Why don't you take over for a minute and then serve dinner, Giru? I've got to help Goku with something really quickly."
"Giru-Giru!" Giru repeated in confirmation, and picked up the sauce spoon with one arm to stir, while he strained the spaghetti with the other.
Feeling masterfully satisfied, Trunks turned toward Goku with devilish glee, excited to cut straight to the chase. "Now, Goku - until Giru can make you those clothes I told you about, I just so happen to have a classic outfit for you, available right now!"
"Oh yeah?" Goku perked up with an excited echo, "Right now?"
"Yeah!" Trunks felt his energetic gauges pulsing full-steam as he mischievously promised, "It's an outfit that Pan will never forget!"
He loved this feeling. Gods - this type of energy was like a drug to him.
He reveled in it. It made him feel youthful, and spirited, and happy, and -
He realized what it was, that he was feeling…
It was… fun…
He was having fun.
His whole body buzzed with mirth. He was going to win this real-life chess match against Pan and have fun doing it.
Trunks beckoned to Goku - his Knight - inviting the Saiyan to follow him down the spiral staircase to the floor below, where Trunks led him into the office.
Inside the small space, Trunks opened the longest drawer, that was on the bottom of the far wall. It was deep, and mostly empty. It had originally been used to store extra cables, which Trunks had later organized by encapsulating them into a designated capsule.
Now, it was meant to store something far better - something beyond anyone's wildest imagination, as a classic, storybook-level prank.
Trunks pretended to hold up a clear sheet. With both palms curled around an invisible fabric, he held the delicate item up - so sheer that it could have been made out of air.
Trunks snickered, "Put this on."
Goku blinked, looking at Trunks' empty hands that were miming in the air, "Where is it?"
"It's right in my hands," Trunks assured him.
Goku peered at Trunks' empty hands, suspicious, "I don't see nothing."
"Tsk, tsk," Trunks grinned toothily. "It may look invisible to you, but," Trunks walked over to Goku's nude body, "it's definitely a gi."
Goku blinked, "A gi?"
Trunks walked in a circle around Goku, stooping here and there as he mimed the act of dressing him. "It's a very special gi that takes imagination to see." Trunks joked, and then suggested in a sing-songy tone, "Heeeeey, why don't you show it off to Pan while Giru works on your other outfits during dinner?"
Now beaming with his new outfit, Goku happily chirped "Okay!"
The naked Saiyan then skipped over to the office door, where he paused and turned to beam a smile at Trunks, "Thanks, Trunks! I like how the gi is super light."
Trunks crinkled his nose in glee, trying to contain a laugh as he joked, "Spaghett-about-it!"
Then, Goku, who was now wearing 'a very sheer air-fabric gi,' went up the spiral staircase to show off his new outfit to Pan.
Trunks couldn't wait to hear her reaction.
He was brimming with excited energy, waiting to hear Pan's inevitable reaction to his prank.
Within moments, Pan's voice screamed, and rewarded Trunks with everything he wanted to hear:
"NO!" she yelled, "You're NOT wearing a gi! My imagination is just FINE!"
CHECKMATE.
Trunks burst out laughing - so loud that it could be heard from the living room of the ship, "AHAHAHAHAHA!"
His laughter this time did not go unnoticed.
"Did Trunks put you up to this?!" Pan's voice drifted to his ears, "Is this a prank?!"
Trunks chuckled to himself as he set up the office for Giru to work during their dinner.
He chortled especially loudly each time it hit him that this kind of prank was the kind of classic humor that kept on giving…
––––––––
To be continued in Legend & Legacy: Book Two (eventually, around Chapter 16-ish, but that may change as I continue to develop the book.)
L&L: Book Two is exclusively hosted on Archive of Our Own.
L&L: Book One is available on FFnet.
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–2/14/25–
–Uploaded to FFnet: 2/17/25–