Beth ran into the living room screaming and flailing her arms around. I sighed and turned the volume in my earbuds up. Regionals was next week and I just wanted some peace and quiet while I ran my Defying Gravity solo. I was tempted to go to my room before dinner and just shut myself in until tomorrow. Mom had a rule about that sort of thing though. She was cool about me having privacy most of the time, but if I couldn't at least be social with Beth until dinner, than I didn't get to eat a big dinner that night. Mom would just bring me a PB&J later. I was kind of sick of PB&J though. I had caved the last two nights, tonight she was making my favorite dinner and I was determined to eat it. Beth ran up and jumped onto the couch next to me. I sighed and put on a fake smile.

"Whatcha doing Wachel?" Beth asked.

"Listening to my solo music for Regionals." I told her.

"Sing for me!" Beth begged. I smiled and nodded. I unplugged my headphones and hooked my phone up to the TV. The music to Defying Gravity filled my dad's old living room.

"Something has changed within me, something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules, of someone else's game." I started to sing. Beth was soaking it all in, she was totally in awe. Shelby poked her head into the living room and smiled at what was going on. I smiled and kept singing. "Too late for second-guessing, too late to go back to sleep. It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes... and leap!" I belted loudly. Beth was grinning at this point.

"It's time to try, defying gravity. I think I'll try, defying gravity. Kiss me goodbye, I am defying gravity and you won't bring me down!" Mom had joined in with me for the chorus and Beth was over the moon about it. Mom took over for me on the second verse and I was totally okay with it.

"I'm through accepting limits, 'cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change, but till I try, I'll never know! Too long I've been afraid of, losing love I guess I've lost. Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost!" Mom belted. I smiled and shook my head. Shelby was still as amazing as ever. I was so lucky to have her as my mom.

"I'd sooner buy, defying gravity. Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity! I think I'll try,

Defying gravity, and you won't bring me down!" We finished together strongly. Beth smiled and clapped excitedly.

"Sing more!" Beth ordered. Shelby chuckled and shook her head.

"Maybe later Monkey. I need to finish dinner. Rachel will you help me?" Shelby asked. I nodded and followed her into the adjourning kitchen.

"What's up mom?" I asked and leaned against the sink. Shelby smiled at me and stirred the alfredo sauce some more.

"I've been thinking about taking you and Beth to New York for Christmas to see my mom. What do you think of that?" Shelby asked. I shrugged.

"That sounds like a nice vacation, I've always wanted to see a New York Christmas." I decided. Shelby smiled.

"I talked to Carole and she agreed to let Finn come with us." Shelby added. I instantly wrapped her in a hug. Shelby chuckled and returned the hug. I couldn't wait to take on a Christmas in the big apple with my boyfriend. Suddenly a dark cloud settled over the idea. Dad and Daddy wouldn't be here for Christmas, for the first time. A tear slipped out of my eye and rolled down my cheek. Shelby glanced over at me from her cooking and frowned. "What's wrong baby?" Shelby asked. I smiled sadly and wiped the tear away.

"It's just my first Christmas without my dads." I confessed. Shelby sighed and wrapped me in a tight hug.

"It's coming on Christmas, they're cutting down trees. They're putting up reindeer and singing songs of joy and peace, oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on. But it don't snow here, Stays pretty green. I'm gonna make a lot of money, and then I'm gonna quit this crazy scene. Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on." She sang softly as she held me. I smiled and let myself start to cry. Mom played with my hair while I cried. "I wish I had a river so long, I would teach my feet to fly. Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on. I made my baby cry. Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on." Mom held "on" for a while and it was so beautiful. I almost forgot about everything bad for a while, but then she stopped singing and the reality of things came back to me. This was not going to be an easy season for me. Thanksgiving was tomorrow and I wasn't even sure how to handle that holiday, let alone Christmas. It wasn't something I wanted to even think about doing, but I had to. "I promise you baby girl. You are going to get through this." She whispered comfortingly. I nodded slowly and pulled away from the hug to wipe my eyes. Shelby smiled and turned back to the stove top to put the finishing touches on the Chicken Alfredo. After a fairly uneventful dinner, apart from Beth throwing a fit and dumping her food all over the floor, I went up to my bedroom to practice some more singing and work on homework. I was buried deep in my history book when I turned the page and found a picture of me and my dad's together after Sectionals my Sophomore year. I smiled sadly and found myself humming an old favorite song of my dad's. It was one of their favorite songs to hear me sing.

"2 am and she calls me cause I'm still awake, can you help me unravel my latest mistake. I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season. Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes, like they have any right at all to criticize. Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason. 'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable; and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button, girl. So cradle your head in your hands. And breathe... just breathe, Oh breathe, just breathe." I sang quietly as I flipped mindlessly through my history book. I had lost my motivation to study. I stood up from my bed and transitioned into my adjourning bathroom before launching into the second verse. "May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss. "just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist, "Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year." Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while, but, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles, wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it." I was singing a bit louder now as I washed my face in front of the mirror. "Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button, boys, so cradle your head in your hands, and breathe... just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe." I wandered back into my bedroom and leaned against my bedpost. "There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out. And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again. If you'd only try turning around." I belted loudly and fell back onto my bed. "2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song. If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to. And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd, cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud. And I know that you'll use them, however you want to." I faded out as closed my eyes and found myself falling straight to sleep still in my day clothes.

Sorry it's been so long guys! But I am back and actively writing this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter anyways, it's not my favorite, but I'm pleased with it. Please review, I'd love to know what you think.

Songs included in this chapter:

Defying Gravity- Wicked the Musical

River- Joni Mitchell

Breathe (2am)- Anna Nalick