Rory stepped out of the car Logan had sent, tightening her wrap-sweater around her against the winds. The car had been toasty, and she'd slept almost the entire way here.
She tilted her head back, glancing at the understated sign above the entrance of Birch Coffee, the kind of small, curated café she imagined Logan frequented when he wasn't sipping champagne in some penthouse lounge at one of his corporate events. She exhaled slowly, trying to shake the uneasy feeling settling over her.
This felt… strange. Meeting Logan like this. Secretly. It wasn't the first time she'd done something that felt morally murky where he was concerned, but there was something uniquely unsettling about the clandestine simplicity of a coffee shop rendezvous. No affair. No pretense. Just two people trying to figure out how to co-parent when one of them was married. Now it wasn't just another date, it was one of, for the baby's sake, hopefully of many, meetings where they were to just remain the parents in this - cautious, polite and withheld.
She pushed open the door, the bell tinkling softly as she stepped inside. The rich scent of coffee mingled with the hum of quiet conversation and the hiss of the momentarily deafening espresso machine. Her eyes darted around the room until she spotted him at a corner table, his attention on his phone. He looked almost too polished for the cozy vibe of the café—immaculate suit, perfect hair and skin - looking like he'd just been to a barber shop - a picture of effortless elegance.
Rory hesitated before making her way over, acutely aware of the weight of her growing belly. But it was not like she had much of an option to just step out of there. She ford herself to approach, at the same time trying to paint a suitable impression on her face. Not too happy. Not too dreadful. Not too scared.
Logan looked up as she neared, standing to greet her. His eyes flicked down, noting the obvious change in her since they'd last met, and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
"Rory," he said warmly. For a moment it seemed almost as if he wanted to hug her in greeting, like they used to do, but held off. Instead he sat, motioning to the chair across from him.
She slid into the seat, grateful to be able to hide herself behind a table, replying, "Logan."
For a moment, neither of them said anything, the silence broken only by the clinking of cups against saucers, and quiet murmurs around them.
"So, how are you?" Rory beat Logan to his question that was just about to roll over his lips. It showed just how nervous she was.
"I'm good… you know," Logan sounded at the loss of words. He'd explained in his text how it was work that had brought him Stateside, but Rory had a feeling that he'd been at least a little inclined to take the trip instead of video conferencing to see her. Even if this was just about seeing her bump as living proof that the baby was in fact real. It was certainly the truth - now there was no denying that there was real life growing inside of her.
"Good," Rory reflected.
"You look… good," Logan said, not to repeat the same cycle of 'good' but didn't really succeed. His voice was careful but sincere. "I mean, you look like someone who's… well, carrying a baby. In the best way… you look good," he added.
Rory laughed lightly, though she couldn't quite shake her self-consciousness. "Thanks, I think? It's been a long time since someone told me I looked good without adding something about glowing or walking like a penguin."
Logan chuckled softly. "I mean it, though. How are you feeling?"
"Tired, stiff… like I have half the lung capacity," Rory admitted, lightly, leaning back in her chair. "Everything hurts. My back, my feet. I can't sleep. And I'm counting down the days until I can see my toes again," she added.
"Yeah, I remember Honor complaining when she was expecting… I couldn't hear the end of it. Not that it isn't perfectly fine to complain about something like this. I mean - if there's ever a time?" Logan said, apologetically, and nodded with sympathy. "But the baby's healthy?" he just had to add.
"So far, so good," Rory said. "She's kicking a lot. She's got this thing where she goes crazy if I eat anything remotely spicy."
"Sounds like she's already inherited some strong opinions," Logan joked, though there was a flicker of emotion in his eyes that Rory couldn't quite read.
The conversation stumbled a bit after covering what Rory had been working on these past months and what was going on in London, skipping the topic of Odette in detail, both of them trying to find their footing in this new dynamic. For so long, they'd communicated with an ease born of their former connection - the flirting and witty banter - but this was different. This wasn't late-night phone calls or secret weekends away. This was something far more delicate. It was almost as if neither dared, for a reason neither could quite pinpoint, to fall back into that banter, worrying how that might somehow make things worse.
After an awkward pause, taking a sip of their respective beverages Logan had ordered them in the meanwhile, he cleared his throat - "Have you put together a birth plan? Where you'll deliver? Do you need anything? My sister recommends this birthing coach?" The latter was something he sounded a little unsure of himself, but it was clear that he'd been thinking about this part a lot, probably also reading into it. What Rory now couldn't help but to think about, however, was how much of this work had been for her and how much for Odette. She couldn't deny that this whole new light to her condition stung a little more than she would've liked. There was now nothing special about her what-so-ever.
Rory blinked, startled by the practicality of his questions. "Uh… Hartford Hospital, I guess. I haven't really planned much beyond that. As far as I've been told - there's not much point - things go as they go, but I have every intention of reading up on my options if that's what you mean. And no, I don't need money." She hoped that would cover most of his questions.
"Okay," Logan said quickly, raising his hands. "I'm just… offering. Just so you know that you can always ask, okay? I know this isn't easy for you, and I want to help when and whereI can," Logan assured.
Rory nodded, her expression softening. "Thanks. I appreciate it," Rory said, adding an explanation - "Dad set me up with decent insurance, and then there's mom and grandma… plus the apartment's practically free, so."
"That's good," Logan reflected.
"What about your… other?" Rory asked, hesitantly. "Is it a boy, or a girl?" she added, biting her lip.
Logan nodded, "a boy." His face seemed to attempt to remain neutral, but Rory was not oblivious to the glimmer of pride. He was going to be a double dad. And for many men Rory knew, having boys was especially a matter of pride.
"That's… nice," Rory said, though the word felt inadequate. "It's all a little weird, isn't it?"
Logan exhaled, his gaze dropping to his glass of Perrier. "More than a little. But it is what it is."
They sat quietly for a moment, sipping their drinks, before Rory spoke again. "Does Odette know you're here?"
Logan hesitated before nodding. "Probably. I didn't tell her outright, but… she's not stupid. I think she has an idea. It's what we were always about with her - we both knew we had other relationships… We just never rubbed our noses in it," he explained for the first time.
Rory chewed her lip, unsure what to say. Logan seemed to sense her discomfort and leaned forward slightly.
"I'm trying to juggle everything the best I can," he said earnestly. This seemed to be his mantra these days whenever they'd been in contact. "I know I've made a terrible mess of things, but I'm trying to figure it out as I go. I just… I don't want either of these kids to feel like they were a mistake, or like their lives are a burden," and rubbed his neck. He was now letting himself show, not just the show he put on for others, appearing all invincible with his charming personality. This was genuinely one thing he was learning as he went, and he didn't know what the hell he was doing, if he was going to figure it out or fail miserably trying.
Rory met his gaze, her expression softening. "I don't think they will. I mean, look at you. You're here. You're trying. That's more than a lot of people can say," Rory said, wanting to say something to inject confidence in him.
Logan smiled faintly, though his eyes were tinged with sadness. "Thanks. That means a lot."
"I mean it," Rory assured.
"You know, I'm in awe of how you're handling everything. The pregnancy, us… the distance, now O," Logan reflected. "In the beginning I kept imagining how much drama this might cause. How literally I'd be hit with the biggest shitstorm," he grunted quietly. "I just want to thank you for taking this with understanding on your end," he added.
"It's not like I have any choice in the state of things beyond my own situation," Rory shrugged.
"I know. Just know that I appreciate it more than I'm able to show," Logan exhaled.
After a pause, he added, "We've still got time to figure out what this will look like, but… if you think it's best, I'm fine with the kid thinking I'm just an old friend or family friend, anything you decide. I'd absolutely love to take this to some advanced level co-parenting, sharing holidays, making it work—but, I have to take Odette into account too - I don't know how to be there yet."
Rory nodded slowly, appreciating his honesty. "I don't know either," Rory said, adding, "But just so you know… I never really expected anything. So anything you do, any part that you can be in this, is more than I expected."
The statement was neutral enough, but caused Logan to frown slightly.
"What?" Rory asked.
"It doesn't particularly feel good to hear you expected me to just ghost you on this," Logan expressed his annoyment. Both of himself and her, supposedly.
"I just didn't think it'd be an option, not a real one. And I didn't want to get any hopes up… it was just easier to limit myself at imagining the baby having much of a relationship with you," Rory explained.
"I get it… But I just want to assure you that wanting to be a part of her life was never the question, it's just the logistics of it," Logan said. It was also the appearance of things, of course and that on both ends. Sooner or later there would be questions, gossip and theories along with it - people who knew, people who could make educated guesses, and eventually a little blabbermouth who could get a little carried away sharing what their awfully familiar old friend had gifted her or done with her. And same went for Logan's son, who would need an explanation of where his father was when he wasn't around.
As they parted ways outside the café, Logan hesitated before reaching out to squeeze Rory's shoulder gently. "Take care of yourself, okay? And if you need anything… just let me know."
Rory nodded, offering him a small smile. "You too."
She watched as he climbed into the black car waiting at the curb, her emotions swirling as the car disappeared into the city traffic, waiting for her own ride to pull up. It was messy, complicated, and far from perfect, but for the first time, she felt a flicker of hope that maybe—just maybe—they could make it work. Some way, somehow - anyway.