Chapter 18
Fitzwilliam Darcy impatiently waited for Richard and Mr Wright to arrive with his most impressive coach. His intent was to transport Sir Alistair to Ashcroft Abbey in it. He intended to ensure the physician knew him to be a man of means and consequence so he took his request for help as seriously as possible.
As he stood in the drive of Sir Arthur's dilapidated house, his most pressing need was for a letter from Elizabeth. He had put all his energy into changing his life for the better these past months only to have his dreams of happiness dashed once again by duty. Could her sobs have meant she could not forgive.
Within minutes, his coach drove up along with his cousin and steward. Darcy took Richard aside. "Bertie is in bad shape. He and Sir Arthur had a foolish drunken duel. He has been jabbed in the ballocks and Mr Hightower, the surgeon, thinks he might have Lockjaw."
"Might he die?"
"Yes. He thinks it wise to amputate. I hope to bring back Sir Alistair Throckmorton from Derby tonight. If he thinks it best to remove his ballock, Mr Hightower will do it immediately."
"Poor Bertie."
"How did your father take the news of his being injured?"
"He seemed distracted by something else. Perhaps, he is unsure about becoming a father again. He did express gratitude that you and I are taking care of his heir."
"That is actually preferrable news. I feared he would become livid and have Sir Arthur arrested. I want to offer him a long-term lease, so he can leave the country and escape imprisonment and you and Jane will have a place to live."
"Have you spoken to him?"
"Yes, we talked for a good part of the night. This morning, he agrees to my terms, but I fear he could change his mind. I told him repeatedly about the Earl of Matlock's wrath. His anxiety over the consequences brought on by a peer of the realm could easily dissipate. I am seeing a banker and a solicitor in Derby to complete the arrangements."
"I will continue to put pressure on him. My father was probably merely having an off day. Once he understands what has truly happened to his first born, he will be as vengeful as you described to this lowly baronet."
"Let us talk of more pleasant things. How was your wedding night?"
His cousin's roguish smile told him all he needed to know. "Darcy, you know it would be improper for me to divulge what happened. Let me just say, my bride enjoyed being touched… and I enjoyed caressing her everywhere and as often as possible. I too was up most of the night… but talking was not our major effort."
"You are a lucky man, Richard."
"Do you think you will make it back to Pemberley tonight?"
"No, but you should return to your wife. Mr Wright will be able to ensure Sir Arthur stays put until I arrive with Sir Alistair. However, do spend some time today with Mr Hightower. You two have much in common. He too served in Portugal and Spain. You probably are not as horrified by his proficiency with amputation as I am."
"I will enjoy swapping war stories with him. Mr Wright told me a group of servants from Pemberley will arrive soon to begin putting the house in better order. They are bringing, cleaning supplies, linens, food, and spirits. Would it be better to take Bertie to Matlock to do the surgery?"
"Mr Hightower thinks if Sir Alistair agrees with him, he should act immediately. He is afraid of infection spreading. We will transport him after a few days of recovery."
Richard pulled a thick packet of paper from his waistcoat pocket. His smile expressed fraternal comfort as he handed it to him. "Mrs Reynolds gave me this for you. It is from Elizabeth. Jane told me she was quite unsettled by your departure yesterday. She hoped to talk to her this morning."
Darcy took it and from that moment all he cared about was having time alone to read what she had written. "I will be on my way. The journey is long and I have multiple things to accomplish."
Once settled in the coach he opened the letter. He remembered the look of her hand from her proposal letter. He settled into the comfort of the squabs and began to read.
Mio Marito Caro,
Perdonami. I acted in a particularly unseemly manner after you departed. The separation from you left me, as the Italians say, 'molto triste.' My entire body refused to behave properly. Fortunately, I managed to remain upright. Mrs Reynolds was kind enough to help me conceal my inappropriate behaviour from your servants and guests.
Your kiss left me breathless. I am certain I heard a symphony playing when in your embrace. Your lips and tongue made me feel as though we were being transported to some magical place. All I could think of was having time alone with you—to learn your secrets as I did in the Netherfield library. It was devastating to have those sensations dashed.
I worry my attempts to allow you to know how pleased I am we are married might have been misinterpreted. Esther told me Jamie shows her by accidentally touching her and looking longingly into her eyes. I tried to do the same at our wedding breakfast, but my efforts might have been perceived as clumsiness. Fitzwilliam, I need to hear you say you will not regret our marriage. Those words seemed to be in your kiss, but I still fear disappointing you.
Your thoughtful gestures were calming. The books, the flowers, and the slippers helped to reassure me after my mortifying breakdown. The dinner you ordered was perfect, and I believe I shall be able to sleep quite well with the knowledge you care. Your letter telling me of your love was a most rhapsodic message.
Tomorrow morning, I plan to spend time with my sisters. I believe Jane had her wedding night. Esther told me a bit about what to expect, but Jane might have a totally different impression of marital relations. I wait with bated breath and keen anticipation to learn my own truth about intimacy with mio marito. So far, I know I adore the kissing part.
It is time I learned more about Miss Darcy. She is troubled by something, and I want to help her feel more comfortable with whatever has happened.
In the afternoon, I will say arrivederci to Esther, Jamie and Mrs Swift. They have been so important to my being able to flourish after my parent's rejection. Please promise me we may go to Dublin to visit them soon.
I will also stop in to see my employees, Linus and Iphigenia. The kittens will be arriving soon. I worry she will resent me not being there when the actual time comes. Do you mind me travelling to the bookshop in a Darcy carriage? Do you care if all of Lambton knows you married a shop girl?
Once I am back at Pemberley, I plan to do some exploring. There is the library of course, but there are other places as well. Your letter said you had a confession to make. That statement caused me to worry about what kind of misdemeanor you committed. My childhood fear has caused me to consider seeing whether there are any sinister secrets hidden in Pemberley's attic.
I tease you, Fitzwilliam. If I am to believe your kiss, you do not wish to kill me. You are a good man. Your care for your cousins is most admirable.
Waiting anxiously to show you the depth of my love.
Ti amero per sempre,
Elizabeth
PS
Please excuse my use of Italian words and phrases. It sounds so much more beautiful than English for what I want to tell you.
Once we are reunited, would you enjoy a personal performance of 'Voi che sapete cosa e amor?' If you do, I will need to find a pair of breeches to fit me so I am able to sing it properly for you.
Anticipation for their next meeting coursed through his 'mio marito caro's' body after reading her letter. He detected no animosity toward him. And yet, it was unclear whether she had figured out he had been the one in Vauxhall Gardens. If she had, she seemed most favourable to his kiss. He read her letter twice again, laughing at her searching his attic for evidence of murdered past wives. Finally, his imagining her private performance of Cherubino's lament sung in male attire left his own breeches showing great evidence of desire. Despite his dutiful mission, he decided to allow his hand to give him pleasure. Once satisfied and made presentable again for Sir Alistair Throckmorton, he slept the rest of the way to Derby with just the hint of a smile on his face.
Elizabeth was dressed and ready for her numerous enterprises planned for the day when Lily arrived. A list of those things she wished to accomplish today was in her reticule, lest she forget anything. She laughed aloud at the thought of rummaging in the attics for evidence of Fitzwilliam's previous wives. Her maid reacted with a smile at the good humour of her mistress. Elizabeth wondered whether her husband believed her serious when she mentioned the search in her letter. Would he take offense at her offer to sing for him in breeches? Was her sauciness inappropriate behaviour for one of her status? One day she would know him well enough to be certain of how he would react.
"I need to determine where my sister, Mrs Fitzwilliam, and my sister-in-law, Miss Darcy, are. Would you possibly be able to help me locate them and arrange appointments for me with them?"
"Yes. I believe Miss Darcy is in the breakfast room currently. Would you like me to show you where it is?"
"That would be perfect. I assume Mrs Fitzwilliam is probably sleeping in."
"Yes mam, she may be, but I will speak with Molly, her maid. She will make sure Mrs Fitzwilliam knows you want to see her."
Elizabeth followed Lily to the breakfast room where Miss Darcy was sitting having tea and toast. She gave her new sister her most welcoming smile and sat down next to her. "Miss Darcy, I am so pleased to be able to spend time with you. Have you heard any more of your cousin's situation."
"Please call me Georgiana. You are now one of my closest relatives. You and your sister have created a most pleasing situation for me. For the first time in my life, I have a sister and a cousin who are certain to be much closer than Anne de Bourgh. I also spent a bit of time with Cassandra before the wedding, and I am hopeful for my relationship with her improving as well."
"Please call me Elizabeth, and I know my sister Jane is looking forward to developing a close bond with you."
"She is so beautiful and reminds me of paintings of angels I saw when Fitzwilliam took me to a museum in London."
"It is my experience she is as kind as an angel. The hardest thing I have had to face in my life was when my parents forbade us to see each other."
"Why did they do so?"
"I kissed a man in Vauxhall Gardens."
"I believe it was my brother who you kissed."
"I am quite certain you are correct, but he has yet to tell me."
"He told me about it when we were at Rosings after the express arrived with your proposal letter."
This sequence of events caused both to giggle when considering the ridiculous aspects of their agreement to marry. "My opinion is he thinks I will despise him for ruining my life. It is hardly his fault my parents treated me so harshly. At the time, I had advised him to flee. Neither of us thought our act required marriage."
"It seems quite cruel of your parents to rid themselves of you for such a minor indiscretion. It is not as though you ran away and eloped with him." With that statement, Georgiana blushed and lowered her eyes to her hands.
"I agree, their reaction was quite outrageous."
"Fitzwilliam told me you were both in costume and wearing masks. He says no one could have possibly know who either of you were."
"Your brother is correct. I argued the very same point with my family, but they insisted I must marry the man my uncle accused of being my compromiser."
"If it was not Fitzwilliam, who was it?"
"Fitzwilliam tells me he was a childhood friend of his and your cousins… the son of your father's steward. All four of them were wearing the same costume that evening and that is why my Uncle Gardiner was certain he had found the culprit."
Georgiana turned ashen and her hand trembled as she raised it to her mouth. She whispered, "What was his name?"
Elizabeth realized she had accidentally stumbled upon a piece of Georgiana's troubling situation. She tread carefully but spoke the truth. "His name was George Wickham. My uncle, at my parent's insistence, said we must wed, and at first there was a promise. He was handsome and quite charming though something seemed different about him. I agreed to marry him for my sisters' reputations though it was not my choice to do so."
"Why did you not marry?"
He did not show up at the church at the appointed time. My dowery was but a thousand pounds. It is my opinion; he though it not lucrative enough to be bound forever to someone like me."
"What happened next?"
"I was pleased I did not have to marry such a man, but my mother blamed me for causing him to refuse. She said no decent man would want to marry a woman like her wanton daughter. My parents decided I should be disowned and sent far, far away."
"And you ended up living with Mr Goodwin?"
"Yes, he is my Aunt Gardiner's father. It was a lucky day he agreed to take me in. Georgiana, there is something about my story which touches you beyond compassion for my plight. Tell me what troubles you."
"I almost eloped with Mr Wickham. He had known me as a child. Words of love for me were spoken by him, and I became certain I loved him. My companion was complicit with his ability to become close with me. Fitzwilliam happened to visit just before we left. I told him of my plans."
"How old were you?"
"Fifteen."
"It happened so recently. Do you feel sad because you were not able to go through with your plan?"
"Sometimes. I enjoyed feeling adored. It seemed true what Fitzwilliam said about the only thing he wanted was my dowery, but I was unsure. You have confirmed for me his avaricious nature."
"Georgiana, I spent my life believing love in marriage was not possible. My parents are at war with one another. Your brother changed my mind. You will find someone worthy to wed. Please believe me. Jane and I will help you make the right choice. If it happened for me, it shall happen for you."
"I know what you say is true. Unlike your parents, my brother never once considered punishing me for my indiscretion. It is ideal we have such a good man in our lives."
"Yes, it is. It is also very fortuitous that both of us escaped the misery of being shackled to George Wickham for the rest of our lives."
First the pair laughed at their shared good fortune. Next, the two newly minted sisters embraced, feeling power in the attachment they had forged.
After breakfast with Georgiana. Elizabeth returned to her room. Jane had sent a note. She dearly wished to see Lizzy as soon as she was able. Lily told her the note had come just minutes before. Together they travelled to another wing where Jane and Richard had their rooms. A knock on the door Lily told her was Mrs Fitwilliam's sitting room was quickly opened by another young maid.
"Are you Molly? I am Mrs Darcy."
The girl, who appeared to be about two years younger than Elizabeth, curtsied and answered, "Yes, mam."
"I am here to see my sister, Mrs Fitzwilliam." She pronounced Jane's new name with great authority and a smile.
Molly ushered her in and Jane who had been sitting at a table by the fire drinking tea rose and rushed toward Lizzy. The two maids quickly disappeared and the sisters who had found a way to be together once again embraced each other with steadfast resolution that neither of them would ever allow themselves to be separated again.
Jane and Elizabeth, who had forged a deep abiding friendship since their earliest memories of life itself sat together to talk of all the sisterly things their parents had denied them. They discussed their wedding, their impressions of Georgiana and Cassandra, and how Richard had reacted to his brother's injury. Finally the younger of the two broached the subject she most wanted to understand.
With a blushing countenance she took her sisters hands in hers and whispered, "Jane, did you enjoy your wedding night?"
Her sister's cheeks quickly coloured to match her own. However, she did not whisper but spoke in her normal quiet voice. "I did."
"Will you tell me about it?"
"No, I should not. It is a personal thing between me and Richard. It would be wrong."
"I told you in detail about my kiss in Vauxhall Gardens at a time I when I was being disowned for being wanton. I had been forbidden to even write to you, let alone speak to you or care for you while you were ill."
"Yes, you did. Your argument is just. I so enjoyed your description of how it felt. It caused me to dream about receiving my own first kiss."
"Please allow me to have something to dream about, Jane. My husband left me to be the good and honourable man he is before we were able to have our night alone."
"You are correct. I owe you the knowledge. Your good and honourable husband is the reason Richard and I were able to marry."
Elizabeth was confused by her sister's words. "What do you mean?"
"Richard told me his cousin is helping him find and afford an estate they are trying to lease. Mr Darcy insisted for your sake that I had to be happy and live near you. He insisted you would never agree to marry him unless I was safe from Mama forcing me to wed someone like Mr Collins. He also mentioned with disgust your being forced to marry Mr Wickham. He does not like that man."
Elizabeth stared at her dearest friend in the whole wide world with amazement. She had no idea Fitzwilliam cared for her so. However, it did not allay her fears he had married her out of duty instead of the passion she felt with his kiss. Suddenly her attention was diverted from her own cynical misgivings as she witnessed her most demur sister looking at her with a somewhat naughty grin. Without the slightest tinge of mortification, she began to inform her younger sister about the ins and outs of marital bliss.
"We began preparing shortly after we became betrothed. I assure you Lizzy, we did nothing to produce a baby, but he wanted me to be aware of what to expect."
"What did you do?"
"We kissed… not just on the lips, but many other places where our skin was bare. I particularly grew to love being kissed here." She stroked the side of neck from the tip of her earlobe almost down to the swell of her breasts. As her hand caressed her body, her eyes closed and she shivered with a kind of ecstasy.
Elizabeth was experiencing her own sensations as her sister displayed her first experiences with the joy of intimacy. Her next question came out a bit breathlessly. "What else did you do besides kiss?"
"On our wedding night, we touched each other in places I never imagined could be proper. Each time he tried a new place on my body, he would ask me whether it felt good, and it always did."
"What kind of improper places?"
"I expected him to want to enjoy my breasts, because he used to fondle them through my dress before we wed, but I did not expect him to be so enamoured with my nipples. He spent a great deal of time kissing, licking, sucking, and touching them. She shuddered as she recalled the memory."
"That does not seem particularly improper. Where else?"
"I was mortified at first when his fingers explored between my legs, but he calmed me with a kiss on my neck and whispered that he wanted to share a type of pleasure with me that I had no idea even existed. What he said was so true, he found a spot that caused my body to erupt with such delightful sensations. His touches made me quite warm and wet…" This revelation did make her sister turn pink again, and it seemed to Elizabeth she decided her hands needed examining for several seconds before clearing her throat and beginning again. "Lizzy, after a time of his fingers caressing me, my whole body began to twitch and throb. It was such a wonderful sensation that at the exact moment of the pinnacle of pleasure in his petting, I made a very loud joyful noise."
As Lizzy was imagining being petted, like she stroked Iphegenia, between the legs, she suddenly was drawn back to her sister's tale. "The oddest thing was that at the very moment of that delightful climax, the image of Mama complaining about her nerves popped into my head for some reason and I considered laughing, but I got distracted by dearest Richard. As though my cry was a cue, he pushed his member in me. There was a bit of pain, as he had warned me, but not much. I enjoyed the sensation of being filled with him and his relentlessly thrusting into me as though he was on some military mission he needed to complete."
This time Elizabeth could barely form her words. "What happened next?"
"He had some noisy and messy release of his mission being accomplished. Then we cuddled together and rested for a time, and about an hour later, we did it again. This time he showed me where he liked to be touched and kissed."
"Where did he like it?"
"Jane's blush was immediate, and this time she did begin to whisper. "I am not certain, I am able to tell you. Part of me still thinks it could be wrong to do what he asked me, but I so wanted to please him."
Elizabeth knew her sister was accommodating to a fault, but she desperately needed to know. She used her most cajoling voice to coax her sister to reveal all. "Jane, I will tell no one. Your Richard was in the army, he served his King and England in battle. I doubt he would ask you to do something that was immoral or illegal."
"He asked me to stroke his member. It seemed only fair to provide that courtesy for him. Next, he wanted me to kiss it and lick it. He even suggested I learn to fondle and caress the part his poor brother is going to have removed."
"Did you do it?"
"Yes, I wanted so much to please him. My love for him is fierce. By the third time we did it, I had become quite adept at taking it completely in my mouth and pleasuring him that way."
"How many times exactly did you two do it?"
"Four altogether. The last time was what he called a quick one just before he left to go meet your Fitzwilliam."
"How do you think Richard knows how to do all these things?"
"He said he has pictures of what is to be done. He promised to show me sometime."
"Do you think all men are given those pictures to study?"
"How would I know? I never heard that Papa had such pictures."
"If Fitzwilliam has any, I am going to demand he show me. It is only right that I should be allowed to look at them. I too deserve to be well educated in making love."