Chapter 54

Jacob

"Jacob, wake up. My water broke!"

Bella's voice penetrated my ears, but her words didn't register to my sleeping mind. "Sh... I heard you." I rolled over, clutching hold of my pillow. "Just go back to sleep."

"It's time, Jake!"

My eyes sprung open as I flipped toward her. The bathroom light outlined her pregnant silhouette standing by the door, holding her stomach. I shot to a sitting position, a rush of adrenaline jerking me wide awake and giving me a racing heart. "Are you sure? We still have three and half weeks?"

A ball of nerves twisted my stomach as I looked at the alarm clock. It read four in the morning. I flicked the lamp on.

"I'm sure. A popping noise woke me up. Then I felt like I had to pee. But when I climbed out of bed, water poured out all over the floor."

"And breaking water means it's time? Not the false labor you mentioned?" My questions might have been stupid, but I didn't know.

"Yes, and I'm already feeling the pains." She moved toward the dresser to get clothes.

"Are you showering?" I hoped we had time to shower.

Her face winced, and she froze for a second. "I'm not sure if I should. Can you dial my mom for me while I get the things together?"

I grabbed the phone and called Renee and Charlie as Bella prepared an overnight bag. Renee said the first stage could take hours. So, we should time the next contraction and if they weren't too painful and several minutes apart, Bella could take a quick sponge-off type of shower. Then we'd better get to the hospital. They would get on their way to Seattle to meet us.

I took a five-minute shower first. When I finished, Bella said she had a huge, painful contraction and some smaller ones. I helped her into the shower. She kept freezing her motion and appearing in a lot of discomfort for the beginning of the first stage.

The doctor confirmed she was in full-blown labor. They put her in a room, strapping a monitor to her stomach, telling us how to read the rising and falling lines of the contractions. Charlie and Renee arrived as soon as possible. Bella was in a slow but strong labor. Mostly, she withstood the contractions for hours. The doctor said the dilation would take time. Her cervix needed more thinning before it opened, because the baby wanted to come early. To get the full experience, whatever that meant, Bella decided against pain meds. Now the contractions were coming fast and hard.

"It hurts, Mommy. I can't do it anymore. I feel like my lower back is breaking. I need something." Bella forced out in a crying voice.

"That's fine. Nobody said you had to go without pain medicine." Renee brushed her hand over Bella's forehead and through her hair, looking at me with a motherly smile on her lips. "I haven't heard her call me mommy since she was a little girl."

Pain scrunched Bella's blanched face. "Don't make me laugh right now. I didn't even realize I said that."

I gave Renee a faint smile, but worried Bella was hurting so much it was making her delirious. "I'll go tell someone at the desk!" I left with an urgency. I'd felt helpless, trying to help her through the contractions, so I was relieved she came to this decision.

Thankfully, Renee was with us. She helped Bella through the tough ones better than I could.

When they gave Bella an epidural, and it kicked in, she fell partially asleep.

They said Bella still had a ways to go, so Renee took a break to rest and for something to eat before we hit the next stage. She'd stood bedside from the moment she arrived, only leaving to go to the restroom once or twice.

I pressed a kiss into Bella's clammy forehead and sat down beside her while she attempted to rest, wondering who was in there. I smiled, eager to meet our little person. Since this was our first kid, we wanted the surprise, not letting the ultrasound lady tell us if it was a boy or a girl, deciding we'd find out early next time.

I didn't mind either way. I just cared about the baby being healthy, like everyone does. But I think deep down, Bella wanted a boy. She told me she didn't care, but she also told me she believed every girl or boy should have an older brother to help take care of them growing up.

Able to relax a little, I leaned back against the chair, considering how we arrived at this phase of our lives in only four fast flying years.

I put the last of the training gear away, and the building looked untouched. I was about to shut out the lights in the last half of the room when the heavy doors in the corridor banged closed. I held my hand on the switch, waiting to see which kid forgot something. I couldn't hide my surprise or gigantic smile when Bella strolled into the gym. "Bells, hey, what's up?"

I knew she was home a month in a half ago, so excitement filled me at her making the move to see me. She waved, grinning. I took a breath and, leaving the light on, walked over to her.

"I wanted to catch up with you in person," she said as we hugged. "Jasper said you coached now, so I took a chance you'd be here during the old practice times."

I wondered what else Jasper might have told her. "I'm glad you did. You look different... Your hair."

"It's just a couple of shades different. I wanted a change, but I couldn't make myself cut my hair short."

"It looks good."

"Does it?" She made a face.

I nodded, smiling.

"It's not me. I'll change it back soon. I paid for it, so I should keep it for a little while."

"Let's sit down over here." She followed me to the bench setting against the brick wall in the gym.

She was dressed casual with tight, black workout-pants, white tennis shoes, and a blue zip-up sweater, but she curled her hair, her lashes seemed super long, and she was wearing lip gloss. She always looked gorgeous, but more so, when she went with a more natural look like this. She reminded me of the only picture I kept of her from when she was sixteen. That summer that we fell deep in love.

We sat down, and she said, "You recovered well. By the looks of it, you'd never know you had a serious accident five months ago."

I pointed at my face and said,"The scars are fading, but I could still see them clearly when I focus on them."

"They're hardly noticeable."

I showed her my neck movement and explained the limited motion and my physical therapy program. "You should have seen me when they first removed the halo. My head felt fused to my shoulders, a blockhead. Sponge Bob."

"More like Pillow Fighter." Her chuckle brought a hint of color to her cheeks. I missed that.

I cracked a smile and explained how I couldn't move my neck at all at first. "I still have a way to go before l reach full range of motion with normal neck and trapezius strength."

"But you can do some physical activity now. Can't you?"

"I can't spar, but I can run, jump rope, and do some weightlifting." I curled an arm and flexed my bicep. She nibbled on her lip, hiding her smile, not soon enough to keep me from seeing it. "Push-ups and sit-ups hurt my neck, so now I'm getting flabby." I patted my stomach.

She laughed. "I highly doubt that."

I shrugged. I wasn't, really. I just didn't like my eight pack not being as visible anymore. "I'm doing the neck routine more than prescribed, but the physical therapist says it'll only help." Thinking of physical therapy, I recalled something that might interest her. "I met your boyfriend's dad..." I halted myself, remembering they broke up... "Edward's dad. Carlisle."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I was sitting outside the physical therapy office at the clinic, waiting for my appointment one day, when he walked by me. He turned around and asked me if I was Jacob Black, the excellent boxer. Apparently, I'm well known around here. Me and my accident. He's a nice guy."

"Yeah, he is." An awkward silence followed. "I left him... Edward."

Since I learned she was home, I'd been curious about who broke up with whom and if they were trying to work things out. It made me glad to hear she did the leaving, but that didn't mean they weren't trying to fix it. I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing.

She added. "Six weeks ago."

I searched for the proper response.

When I was wrestling with calling her, I envisioned that when the time came, we'd just talk first. That way I could determine if she felt anything more for me before I attempted to travel down that path again. I'd already tried getting back with her once before, and that rejection pulverized me. Then, at the hospital, I could tell she cared but I got the impression all she wanted was friendship from me. Coming up with what a friend might say, I asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head.

"Well... What do you want to talk about?"

"Anything else."

That was no help. I smirked. Communication never was her strong suit. Glancing up at the clock, I decided we should probably continue our non-conversation somewhere else. "I've got to close up the building."

I was about to ask her if she wanted to go for a drive or do something else when she lowered her head and said, "You never called."

As usual with her and my feelings, I answered honestly, then watched her reaction. She kept her head down, giving the quiet moment a tense feeling. But then, she gave me the surprise of my life by basically admitting she still felt the same for me while showing me the beads I left in her mailbox the night of my accident.

I forgot I did that, being sauced at the time. At least I did something right that night, I thought.

Nobody could have imagined us hitting this conversation so soon on our first meeting. And so soon after her breakup.

Taken aback, I bought myself time by asking about the bracelet I thought was an anklet while her words ricochet around in my head like a pinball, landing on: She just told me she still loves me...

Once that registered, I knew if there was any moment that presented itself as naturally as it just did for asking her back, I better have some balls. I jumped on the opportunity, even though, I knew we'd still have a lot to talk about and work out if she said yes, but I figured, first things first. I'd deal with everything else later.

I left her and myself room for a "No" by telling her I knew it might be too soon, and that we could take it slow, but feeling, hoping, I understood her words precisely.

She lifted her head, a hint of shyness about her as our eyes met. "Let's just take it naturally."

I exhaled relief, excitement, and joy, staring at her. "All right."

But what did she mean by naturally? Because nothing felt natural in the seconds following her answer. I didn't know what to say or do next. Kiss her? I wanted to, but I thought maybe she wasn't ready. She was with that guy for over two years.

I stared at her, feeling a little apprehensive. She gave me a bashful smile, her lashes fluttering, and all I could think about was the first time I kissed her.

Ah, hell with it!

I slipped my arm around her, curling her against me, as she brought her face to meet mine, eagerly wrapping both of her arms around my body. I instantly drowned in the taste of her mouth. The feel of her in my arms again, electrified me. It was as if every cell in my body was hit with an energetic earthquake, resuscitating me from the flatline I'd learned to live with.

When we separated, too soon for my liking, I reminded her I had to lock up. We decided on meeting at my house, so she could drop her car off and get in with me, agreeing to park at First Beach and hang out together. I knew we had a lot to talk about before we went any further.

Heavy black clouds rolled in out of nowhere, dropping sheets of rain by the time we reached the house. Huge droplets of water splattered me and everything else while she rolled down her window.

"Let's go inside until it slows down or stops," I said.

"Is Billy home?"

"Yeah, but..." I shrugged. He minded his own business. Her eyes scanned me, standing there getting drenched. She pulled her hood up over her head and climbed out. I reached for her hand, and we sprinted into the house.

She unzipped her dampened sweatshirt, laying it over the chair in my bedroom, and sat on the bed. I pulled off my t-shirt and dried my head and body with it, before turning toward her from the dresser and slipping on a dry one. "You're not flabby." Her eyes twinkled with humor.

I let out a laugh, remembering how she enjoyed touching my abs. "I'm just not used to not working out as much. It makes me feel out of shape." I lay down on the bed. She lay down beside me on the other pillow.

An uncomfortable undertone hung in the atmosphere as we started re-getting to know each other. I told her about coaching, and the kids, and the paying job the council intended to create for coaching in the upcoming fiscal year, hoping to entice one of the many boxers in the community to step up. Meanwhile, they had squeezed me into a part time administrative position, with nothing to do, just so they could pay me something out of appreciation. It wasn't much, but it was enough for now.

She talked about her intention to transfer to UW and the degrees interesting her. Pharmacy and Medical. She was smart. We drifted into little make-outs between discussions. I got more comfortable with each one, elated that she was with me again, and this was really happening.

When darkness fell, I draped a handkerchief over the lamp to dim the light. We wanted to see each other while we talked. Holding her in my arms, I asked about the bracelet again.

She said, "He figured out I didn't love him anymore, and that I still love you by how much I valued it. He made me admit it. Not only to him but to myself."

It enraged me to hear he snapped it from her leg and broke it, but since it brought her back to me, so be it. It was petty of me, but I thought about us making out when they were together. Her cheating on him with me. I received more enjoyment from the thought than I should have allowed myself.

"I was wondering why you stopped texting the group that night," I said.

She frowned. "I made some poor decisions all around."

I brushed my lips against her mouth, savoring a long kiss, then said, "Me, too." The counseling the doctor recommended I take in the early part of my recovery taught me I had abandonment issues from my mom leaving my dad. "I sabotaged us because I didn't think you'd wait for me."

"That's funny, because I would have waited forever for you if you asked me to wait. I knew what you were doing was important."

"But you shouldn't have had to wait. I should have stayed."

The rain never stopped, and the time went by too fast. Neither of us wanted the night to end. Around midnight she sent a text to Renee, telling her she was still with me and not to worry. That's when our heavier discussions began.

We sailed through discussing my fuck up with Charlotte, and some time afterwards, I told her how Seth broke us up the first time. I left out that he said they made out. I didn't want to piss her off too much; it was long over with. But getting it all out was crucial, so we could move forward with nothing rearing up.

When getting back with Bella became a possibility, thoughts of her with Seth popped into my head more times than I wanted to admit. Those thoughts bothered me more than thoughts of her and the douche. I knew Seth ended it with her. I'm sure he didn't want to and only did it because of me. I wondered what would have happened if he didn't. Would they be together now? He would have been good to her.

After what went on with Charlotte and the pain I put Bella through, I didn't have a right to be mad about anything she did. I told her as much before approaching her and Seth's real hookup. I wanted to know if she did it because she felt for him or just to get back at me. I hoped it was the latter because I could understand that. The wound I didn't realize I was carrying made me unable to specify my questions clearly. But I got it out there, as difficult as it was to bring up.

Regretful tears glossed her eyes when I made her look at me. "I didn't love him... We talked about that." Her lip trembled, and so did her voice. "He didn't feel that way about me, either. I know because of how easily it ended. Neither of us got hurt over our ending, and we stayed friends. I couldn't stay friends with you because I loved you too much. I don't know if that makes sense?" Tears rolled down her face.

"It does." Wetness made my neck and shoulder sticky when I cupped her head to me. "Don't cry."

"I'm sorry it happened, Jake. I wish it didn't. I'd take it back if I could."

With all my regrets I wished never happened, I hugged her tighter. "l know exactly how you feel, and this is the only time we'll ever talk about it. I promise never to bring it up again, because I know the things that happened were just reactions to my mistakes. It's all my fault, and I take full responsibility." I pulled away to see her face. She closed her eyes, more tears rolling. "Look at me." Her makeup smeared lids opened. "It's done, and like you said to me earlier, irrelevant. Okay?"

She nodded, sniffling and drying her face with her hands.

Before we knew it, it was two in the morning, still raining. I asked her if she wanted to stay. She did, looking cute, drowning in the shirt and trunks I offered her to sleep in. After some mild kissing, she fell asleep in my arms. As I held her, I vowed never to fuck us up again. I learned my lessons well.

Because I forgot to close the blinds, the sunrise climbed in my window at five am. I woke with a numb arm and shoulder hearing a slight snore coming from Bella. My eyes combed over her sleeping angel face, making me grin. She'd strewn her leg on top of my thigh, hugging me with her body.

I noticed her hand on my lower abs next. The sight of her fingertips, tucked into the waistband of my trunks, caused me an involuntary bodily rise. Not that it should surprise her if she woke up and saw it. She'd just been living with a guy. That comprehension and wondering if she thought I was him in her sleep tamed the situation. But I shifted and wiggled myself from underneath her anyway, to close the blinds and wake my arm up. I lay there opening and closing a fist to stop the pins and needles crawling throughout my skin, speculating on when we'd have sex. Soon, I hoped. Was I supposed to ask her about it? That was probably the right thing to do. If so, when should I ask her? A few seconds later, I decided not to worry about it. She said to take it naturally, so I figured when that make-out arrived, I'd just keep going unless she told me to stop.

Bella made a whimpering sound that turned into a scream, reminding me, to my extreme pleasure, we had no problem moving into that area when we got back together.

I hopped up and took hold of her hand. Renee wasn't back yet. "Do you need your mom?"

"No, I need you and the doctor! I have a lot of pressure. It's agony again."

To be continued...