Remus

When he wakes up, he's curled up against the door and there are deep scratches all over his body. He's used to the pain but he still winces and blinks away tears when he struggles to get up. He pulls himself up by grabbing hold of the handle. First thing he does is pull at it. It is locked, it has been locked the entire time.

He vaguely remembers the blinding pain of the transformation and the running around in circles. He also vaguely remembers some voices from beyond the door. It must have been Sirius, he thinks. He has been too harsh on him lately. He's stood watch that he doesn't break down the door. Although to be fair it is also a measure of safety before anything else.

He takes a deep breath and moves to unlock the door. He has a splitting headache and he would love nothing more than to remain stranded on the wooden floor of the attic in which he has constrained himself, but he knows he will need to eat something or else he will be unable to function properly.

Each bolt he pulls is an excruciating effort and he needs to take small breaks lest he not burst out in tears. When he finally manages to push the door open he stumbles and he feels himself being pulled up.

'Easy there, buddy!'

He smiles in relief. Despite the fact that he had not wanted Sirius there, it was nice to know that someone had checked the bolts. The door had not been opened, he had not hurt anyone.

'I'll go grab some food,' he hears her voice, but he must be imagining it. He turns to see her rushing down the stairs.

'She stayed here all night,' Remus has to blink several times for Sirius's face to come into focus and for his ears to adjust to the sound. He must not have heard that well.

'Come again?'

'She stayed here all night, Remus,' Sirius enunciates, 'She's leaving for work in half an hour and afterwards she has to back-to-back missions one of which is in Azkaban.'

'What, why…. why the fuck would she do that!' Remus clutches his head, feeling an immense pit of guilt. He had told her he would be fine; he had told her to go away. Now she's going to have to deal with freaking Azkaban after all this? Why would she be so stupid?

'Because she clearly cares about you, Remus. So, for the love of God be careful-'

'I love you man but please stop with this narrative, you're just creating scenarios to-' Remus begins. she certainly didn't do all that because she has any feelings towards him, she's just pathologically too nice, otherwise he cannot possibly explain this. And he has to make sure she's not going to endanger herself like that again. What if he had in fact broken down the door? What if the potion had not worked?

'I know you're in pain, but you really need to shut up and listen for a moment!' Sirius snaps in a low voice. 'We both know you're intentionally starting to push people away again. You're not letting me sit with you during the full moon, you haven't been writing to Harry. But Tonks stood here by your side, with only the thought that she wants you to know that you're cared for. I promise I'm not going to make any immature jokes about whatever's going on here. Whatever you two are to one another. But you cannot push her away too! I know you care for her; promise me you won't push her away!'

Remus stares in silence, head still pounding but not his biggest concern anymore. 'Whatever you two are to one another'. They're friends, he thinks. He likes being her friend. But he cannot afford bringing himself close to other people who he could possibly harm. He finds it very hard to enunciate words.

'You understand that if anything happens to her, I could never live with myself,'.

'You're hardly living with yourself as is, Remus. Promise me!'

'I live with myself just fine, Sirius,' he grumbles. He does not want a lecture on how to live his life. He doesn't know how frightened he constantly is. Now that he knows she had been sitting outside all this time he starts getting vivid flashes of how he could have shredded her body had anything gone amiss.

They hear footsteps coming up the stairs and they both understand Tonks is coming back.

'Promise me!' Sirius hisses urgently and he has no choice but to comply.

'I promise!'

Tonks hands him a platter that Molly has prepared. Her eyes are bloodshot red and he feels terrible for having kept her up. He wonders what she thought of his howls. He always wonders that. If people hear him, if they tremble in fright. If they imagine a monstrous beast devouring their children.

'Thank you,' he looks into her tired but happy eyes. She's relieved he's all right. She truly is a good friend. He thinks he can be her friend. He hasn't had a new friend in ages. 'Thank you for staying. But you really shouldn't have!'

She rolls her eyes. 'Yes, I should have. I'm glad that you're okay….as okay as you can be considering….' She gets a bit flustered, most probably disgusted by the deep scratches on his arms and his torn shirt. 'I have to leave now. I'll see you tomorrow!'

'See you!' he mumbles.

'Whatever you two are to one another'

Tonks

The prison is looming from afar. They are not to go any closer unless strictly necessary and will monitor any contact Malfoy makes with the Magnifying Spell. But she still feels it. She feels the icy cold and horrid scenarios flood her brain.

'You okay?' Arthur grabs her shoulder and she nods mechanically.

It's a picture of Bellatrix taunting her, she's going to escape and she is going to hunt them all down. She sees flashes of green light-

'Expecto patronum!' she whispers and a small hare jumps from her wand. It won't last long though, and they need to focus.

She sips on what must be her fourth energy drink, trying not to think about the fact that she will also be on duty for the Department of Mysteries when her shift ends here.

'Are you sure you're ok?' Arthur asks tentatively, clearly concerned with the amount of caffeine and taurine she has ingested. And he hasn't even seen all the cups stranded on her desk that she hastily threw away before leaving. 'I'm sure someone will be more than willing to change shifts.'

'I'm fine!' she snaps. 'Sorry, just tired, but I promise I got this!'

'You need to also take care of yourself though, Tonks, you've taken every single mission that has come up and you also have a full-time job. I don't know how you manage it!'

'I have to give it my absolute best, Arthur. I'm not going to let anything so small as sleep get in the way!'

Arthur chuckles softly. 'You're almost as stubborn as Remus on this'.

'Remus?' her voice has softened and she thinks back to the way she saw him this morning. She wishes she could have done something for him, anything, she would have stitched back those wounds herself if she had the time and skill.

'I think he's the only one who's taken quite so many missions as you. You should know, you're almost always away on Malfoy watch and transporting the kids. Now that the kids are in school, I wonder what else you'll take on, although I sure how you'll leave a little something for the rest of us.'

Has everyone noticed how many missions they've been on together? Is it that glaringly obvious? Has he done it on purpose, she finds herself wondering. Has she done it on purpose? She must admit she misses having him on the mission. Not that she has anything against Arthur, but he's not going to listen to old records with her and she doubts he'll make her laugh as hard.

'I think he only skipped out on full moons' Arthur continues rambling on. 'Oh, there was a full moon last night, I hope he's healing all right, he always seems quite battered afterwards.'

'Have you…heard him?' she asks tentatively. She knows the Weasleys have moved in over the summer so surely, they must know about his hiding in the attic during transformations.

'Honestly, Sirius has forbidden us to go up there, said it gets quite intense,' Arthur flusters, 'said there was nothing any of us could do anyway.''

She nods and takes another gulp of her drink. She feels a bit embarrassed for having stayed but she doesn't regret it one bit, she would have hated herself if she had gone home in her warm bed paid for with her Ministry salary, knowing Remus was alone and in so much pain.

Her Patronus melts away and the cold envelops her once more.

Remus is lying dead on the pavement and Bellatrix is running around shooting more green lights. The wand trembles in her hand, pulling the happy memory of her parents. Her parents. Her mother comes toe to toe with her sister. She's being sliced up. She feels like yelling.

Suddenly it's gone as Arthur's Patronus replaces hers.

'I'm sorry,' she mumbles. A fully trained Auror and she wasn't able to control her fright. She's happy she isn't alone here; she cannot help but wonder in how much despair Sirius must have felt trapped in this desolate space.

'You cannot let them get to you!' Arthur snaps her out of it. 'Until Malfoy comes out, we only talk and think happy things. You start, tell me a happy memory!'

'Um, okay, all right,' she tried to slow down her heart as her mind latches onto the first good memory she can come up with. 'When Mad-Eye saw me during my training and told everyone 'Her! I'm getting that one' and then proceeded to annoy me for four years straight'. She smiles only thinking about it.

'When I first saw Molly across the crowded Gryffindor common room and I just knew I had to talk to her. She was the only one with red hair over there, but I didn't even notice that at first. I noticed that she was laughing. Like, laughing hard!'

'My mom told me about how she met my dad during Quidditch practise. Slytherin was arguing once again over the reservations for the field and my dad was captain of Hufflepuff. She was impressed how he stood up to them. Frankly, she believed their captain was being unreasonable too and eventually let Hufflepuff train.'

'What came next?' Arthur asks, by now fully invested.

'Oh, she ran away from home to be with him and the rest is history. Quite a basic love story, nothing out of the ordinary,' she grins.

'I see you quite admire that about them.'

'It must've taken a lot of guts; I can't even imagine loving someone that much. I did promise myself I was going to try.'

'Never pictured you as a romantic to be honest!'

'Why? The clumsiness?' she laughs. No one seems to think of her as a romantic. Even Remus seemed to be surprised.

'I dunno, you're extremely independent from what I've seen. You'll need a strong man who can handle that. I'm sure you're going to find him though. Who knows, maybe you already have!'

She starts feeling a bit strange with where the conversation has led. She doesn't want to talk about her love life. She needs to stay happy.

'Give me another happy memory!' she quickly changes the subject.

'All right, when Bill was born. He was such an ugly baby but I loved him so much. Charlie was quite weird to be honest, we never seemed to understand what he wanted, it drove us insane!'

'Oh, trust me, I know exactly how that feels and if it makes you feel any better, he hasn't changed much. I do wish he could be here; he was one of my only true friends back at Hogwarts.'

'I should hope you've made a few friends here too.'

'Eh, yeah, you guys are all right, I guess,' she jokes. 'Your daughter is a marvel; I wish I could have had a younger sister like her to teach her everything I knew.'

'She's quite all right too, I guess,' he smiles. 'Sirius and Remus surely consider you close, especially after all the missions you've had with Remus.'

Remus. She feels her cheeks reddening. Yes, she supposes they are friends. Though she doesn't think they are friends in the way her and Sirius have become friendly. It's because of that stupid commentary Bill made earlier that now has gotten into her head. Of course there is nothing more there, he is treating her like he would anyone else because he is a kind-hearted man. And she had developed a stupid little crush on him, because he has been the only man to treat her with respect. But it's all in her head and it will pass. Next week they will go back to their regularly scheduled mission and they'll play checkers and tell jokes and it will be all right and nobody will feel weird.

She's been lost in reverie and has not noticed Arthur being haunted by the Dementors again.

'How did you not feel it at all this time? What were you thinking of?' he asks incredulously after she casts the spell again.

'Just friends.'