A new girl in town
Chapter 28
Kayla/J.J.
"That's really fucking easy for you to say," Kayla said.
"You were privileged enough to be born the right gender. I've spent my life feeling like a freak. First I was weird, angry Mike with no friends. Then I was that guy who looked like a drag queen. In college, I was 'Kayla who'd sleep with anything' and in the USMC I was that weird butch dyke.
"When I came home, I was the monster parents told their kids stories about and that hasn't changed."
"Now I'm here and one person away from losing everything I've worked for," Kayla said.
"You have no fucking idea how lucky you are. If people knew I was Trans, it would never fucking end. I'd always be that Trans person who isn't quite female enough and Wade knows that," Kayla added.
"Kayla Kane knows too." J.J. said. "Do you want to know his first question when he finally understood what it meant?"
Kayla laughed bitterly again.
"Is she from mars?" she said sarcastically.
"No." J.J. said calmly. "Is she happy?"
Kayla's expression registered surprise.
"No one's ever asked me that," she said.
"Not about being trans anyway," she added.
"I told him you were. Was I wrong?" J.J. asked.
Kayla shrugged.
"That's not the easiest thing to answer," she said.
"Sometimes, I feel like I almost am. Then there are the days like the other day when I feel like I'm drowning in my own self-hatred and I'd do anything for it to just fucking stop," she added.
"Kane would understand that answer better than I would. Sometimes I think he hates himself for not knowing or understanding or just for being who he is." J.J. said.
"Yeah, that's pretty evident," Kayla said.
"I'd be more than willing to talk to him about it but I don't know if he would," she added.
"I explained it as best as I could. He looked uncomfortable when I told him about the surgeries you probably had to go through. But for him surgery means hospital and he hates hospitals. Then when he understood he was fine with it." J.J. said. "If you want to talk to him more I'm sure he'd be willing. You'll notice though that he doesn't ask questions to just anyone. He has to be comfortable that they won't think he's stupid for asking."
"Yeah, I've noticed that. I've tried my best to let him know it's okay and so has Cassie but I'm not sure how well it's worked," Kayla said.
Then she laughed.
"Most guys would be horrified at the thought of losing their man parts; I'm sure he felt the same way," she added.
"Yeah I'm sure that was part of him being uncomfortable. As far as you guys making him comfortable you do. He doesn't usually ask questions of Taker cause he's well intimidating to say the least. But you he asks questions." J.J. said.
Kayla smiled.
"I'm glad," she said.
"We should probably head back though. God only knows what the fuck Wade's doing to your husband," she added.
"Believe me nothing he wouldn't allow." J.J. said laughing as they headed back.
Then she looked at J.J.
"Thanks for you know. . .listening and shit. It's new for me. I haven't had many friends who are women that don't eventually end up in my bed," she said.
J.J. laughed. "Well there is little to no chance of that here." J.J. said.
"Sorry for leaving or whatever," Kayla said once they were back and she'd taken a seat.
"I understand." Kane said climbing in the driver's side.
J.J. climbed in as well leaving only Wade standing outside the SUV.
Kayla laughed as well.
"I can't say I'm used to that," she said with a wink.
"But it's kinda nice being relegated to the 'friend zone' once in a while," she added.
J.J. just laughed and looked at Kane's face then started laughing louder.
What the hell did that mean? Kane wondered.
"Wade, what the fuck? We're leaving," Kayla said.
Wade shrugged.
"Seriously, vape in the fucking car if that's what you need to do," Kayla said rolling her eyes.
"It's not that," Wade said.
Kayla sighed in frustration.
"I shouldn't have said it. It was stupid and thoughtless and I know better," Wade said.
Kayla shrugged.
"I kinda. . .over reacted," she admitted.
"But you wouldn't have if I'd known how to shut the fuck up," Wade insisted.
"I mean, I know how much you hate the comparisons and shit," he added.
Kayla shrugged.
"It's fine. Will you get in the damn car now?" She said.
Wade shrugged and took a seat next to her.
Taker/Sammy
Taker looked out the window thinking about Kayla. He couldn't' say anything because of who he had in the back but he'd really like a sounding board.
Kayla is transgendered. He thought. No big deal on my part. But if the wrong person found out it could be hell for her. If Vince found out no telling what he'd do? If he tried to fire her she could claim discrimination but he'd only make her life miserable if he had to take her back because of a lawsuit. How can I keep that from happening? I've kinda gotten used to her.
Sammy stared out the window trying not to let the others see her face. She was sore and embarrassed that she hadn't defended herself better.
"So Kayla mentioned that she told you about Mike during her super fucked up night," Cassie said out of nowhere.
"She seemed kind of upset about it," she added.
"I have no problem with it." Taker said matter of factly. "Though if certain people find out about it she could be in hell."
"Mike? Who's Mike." Sammy asked. "And why would Mark have a problem with it? Or anyone else?"
Cassie nodded.
"Yeah, I'd know all about that," Cassie said.
"I started out as a media production student if you can believe it. Tolerance of differences or self-awareness for that matter aren't exactly prevalent in the field," she added.
Then she turned to Sammy.
"Ah, you don't know," she said.
"It's not exactly my story to tell but I doubt Kayla will bring it up so I may as well.
"Mike was the name her parents gave her. She's trans," Cassie said matter of factly.
"Really I never would have known. She's a beautiful woman." Sammy said. "Oops was that wrong to say?"
Cassie smiled.
"No, not at all. That's the greatest compliment you could give her," she said.
"Oh ok." Sammy said. "But why does it matter to anyone else? As long as her friends stick by her the rest of them can go to hell."
"Those were pretty much my exact words last night," Cassie said.
"I think it matters because she's ashamed of being trans somewhere deep down," Vanessa said.
"Huh?" Cassie asked.
"Think about it. She's never been part of the Trans community and most people don't know a thing about her transition.
"She rarely talks about it even with us and she never talks about Mike," Vanessa said.
Cassie nodded.
"God, how did I miss that?" Cassie asked.
"Seriously, I'm a therapist for a living. I'm an idiot," she added.
"No you're not. Why push an issue she obviously doesn't want to talk about. But she needs to be prepared for the shit storm if it comes." Taker said.
"I just figured she avoided the scene for the same reason I avoid the blind community," Cassie said after a moment.
"I hate the constant comparisons to other people and I have nothing in common with most of them," she added.
"Could people actually find out I mean people who she didn't tell?" Sammy asked.
Cassie sighed and nodded.
"The WWE: where progressive thinking goes to die," she quipped.
Cassie looked thoughtful.
"I. . .don't know?" She said.
"I suppose someone could gain access to her medical records if they knew what they were doing," Vanessa said.
"Unfortunately yes. You can find out anything about anyone if you look hard enough." Taker said remembering how he's searched for information on J.J. "And once they find it you can be sure they will use it." Taker added.
There is definitely a story there but I won't be the one who asks what it is.
"Fuck," Cassie said.
"What do you think she should do?" she asked.
"I mean, as preemptive damage control I guess," she added.
"I have no idea." Taker said. "I wish I could say it wouldn't happen but there is a good chance it will especially if she pisses certain people off."
"I would say just be prepared. Know ahead of time that it could happen and plan her reaction." Cassie nodded.
"Thanks for being awesome, you guys. It's a rarity for trans people to experience that kind of unconditional acceptance," Cassie said.
Taker didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say.
"I'm glad she's here." Sammy said. "Even if people may not accept her we do."
"Does Kane know?" Taker asked suddenly wondering how his brother would take the news.
"I really think she needs to hear that," Cassie said.
"It hasn't been an easy transition for her but I guess that's rather evident. Sometimes people actually need to hear that they're cared for, you know?" she added.
"I'll make sure she knows." Sammy said.
Vanessa nodded.
"Yeah, she said that she told both of you," she said.
"She seemed pretty on edge because neither of you have said anything yet," she added.
"Not my place to say something. I only found out because she rambles when she's stoned." Taker said.
"Kane might not have even caught it." Taker said. "But it's something he needs to understand before it comes from someone else."
Cassie sighed but didn't argue the point.
"She does indeed," she said.
"Did she pull out the Caribbean accent?" Vanessa asked with a laugh.
If J.J. knows about being Trans, she's probably explained it to him, Cassie said thoughtfully.
"I mean, you generally go to your significant other or others first, right?" she added.
"J.J. wouldn't know unless he brought it up. Because she was asleep the whole time Kayla was with him." Taker said.
Cassie shrugged.
"She tends to ramble. . .like a lot," Cassie said.
"In fucking detail, even. I don't imagine he'd have missed all of it," she added.
"Then he may already know." Taker said. "But I think I should ask him about it. If he doesn't and someone else breaks the news first he'll be upset."
Though how I'm going to broach that subject I have no idea. Taker thought.
Before Cassie could say thanks, her phone buzzed with an incoming text. Vanessa's went off simultaneously.
Wade:
I am officially king asshole. Kayla and I were doing our usual shit and I called her Katelin Jenner without thinking. Both Kane and J.J. were there. Please don't hate me. :'(
"Jesus fuck, Wade!" Cassie said as she read the text.
"Wade Wilson: born without a fucking filter," Vanessa added.
Taker went back to his thoughts trying to find a way to explain Transgender to his little brother.
Sammy went back to looking out the window.
Good. Taker thought. Saves me from having to explain it to him.
"Oh no." Sammy said.
"She probably stormed off knowing Kayla," Vanessa said.
"I'm surprised Wade's still conscious," she added.
"I don't think she'd really fuck him up," Cassie said.
"He won't be fucking her for a while but yeah," Cassie added. Vanessa smacked her in the arm.
"What?" Cassie asked.
"There are straight, non - poly people in the car, babe," Vanessa said.
Cassie shrugged.
Taker laughed loudly surprising his backseat guests.
"You're okay with it?" Vanessa asked in surprise.
"I figured it made you uncomfortable," she added.
"Nah not much does." Taker said.
"Though I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when you explained it to Kane." Taker said laughing again.
"Huh. I'll admit that I didn't expect that answer," Cassie said.
"I don't mean to imply that I thought you were close minded but, uh, something," Cassie said blushing.
"Like Wade, Cassie also has no filter," Vanessa said.
Taker laughed and shook his head.
"What other people do doesn't concern me unless it's hurting someone else." Taker said.
"I've hurt a lot of people in the past." He added thinking of what he'd done to J.J. and Kane.
Cassie nodded.
"More people should adopt that mindset," she said.
Then she turned to Vanessa.
"I didn't miss your filter comment. I do so have one. . .when I'm Cassie the social worker. On my own time, fuck censorship!" she added.
J.J./Kane/Kayla/Wade
Once they were back on the road, Kayla made a decision.
I probably won't have another chance to bring this up today and it's bothering me too much to keep avoiding it. She thought.
"So I guess you both know that I'm trans," she said.