A new girl in town
Chapter 43
Kayla/Wade/Vanessa/Cassie/Kane/J.J.
"You're going to regret telling Wade that after he's sent you the hundredth text in the same day," Vanessa said.
"It's been a pleasure getting to know you guys. Kayla's in good hands," she added with a smile.
Kane laughed.
"You guys will be sorry you taught me the phone." Kane said laughing.
Wade laughed.
"We didn't do much; you've learned a lot of it on your own," he said.
The others nodded.
"We're all ridiculously proud of you," Vanessa said.
"I'm gonna start the car." Kane stuttered blushing furiously.
"You know you guys did a great thing." J.J. said. "I've been trying for a long time to get him to use a phone. Maybe now I can get him on a pc too."
"He could try a windows tablet. It's a nice hybrid option between a PC and a phone. We'd be more than willing to help," Cassie suggested.
Wade just grinned.
"Sorry, I couldn't help it. He's going to get used to people thinking he's awesome if it kills me," he said.
Cassie laughed.
"Go easy on him, babe," she said.
"I agree... with both of you," Vanessa added.
"Will wonders never cease? That's probably a first," Cassie said.
Wade and Vanessa laughed and they all made their way downstairs.
Kayla followed silently in their wake.
They're the perfect unit without me. She thought hopelessly as everyone got in to the car.
As the cab pulled away J.J. wrapped her arm around Kayla.
"You know they'll always need you." J.J. said. "Just like you need them."
Kayla shrugged.
"It doesn't feel that way," she admitted. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she wished she could take them back.
"I know it doesn't seem so right now, because you're going to miss them, but you'll go home for a bit and they'll come here. It will be ok." J.J. said.
Kayla sighed.
"I wish I could turn it off, you know? It sucks. I hate feeling shit," she said.
J.J. smiled at her and gave her a squeeze. "But if you couldn't feel how would you feel love?" J.J. asked. "I learned that from Kane." J.J. added.
Kayla shrugged.
"Maybe it could be like one of those cochlear implants; I turn it on when I need it and turn it off when I don't... or I don't feel like it," she said.
"Feelings don't work that way. You can't turn them on and off. And you can't hide from them either. They never go away even though sometimes you think they have." J.J. said.
"Awesome. Fuck my life then," Kayla said.
"You say that a lot." J.J. said. "But imagine how much worse your life could be."
Kayla shrugged but didn't say anything.
They reached the car and climbed in.
"All ready to go big man." J.J. said smiling at Kane.
Kane looked at Kayla's face.
She already misses them. Just like I miss J.J. as soon as she walks out the door. He thought. It must be hard to travel without the ones you love.
Then he turned and looked at J.J. he smiled happy to have her beside him.
Kayla sighed and pulled her hood over her head.
Maybe if no one can see me, I won't be here and none of this will be real. She thought. She knew that it was a childish hope but she didn't care.
She could practically hear Karena's voice in her head urging her to rely on the coping methods they'd discussed instead of falling in to old, familiar patterns.
Fuck off. She thought angrily.
Kane took J.J.'s hand as they drove down the road.
I remember what it was like being on the road with father who didn't spend any time with me and then alone. We'll have to keep her close especially with Hunter looking to hurt her. Kane thought.
Kayla thought about listening to music but quickly decided against it.
That'll just remind me of them. She thought. Every fucking track on time my phone is connected to them in one way or another.
Then she thought about watching a show and dismissed that immediately as well.
Watching something, even if it's something new, will make me think about them too, especially if I marathon it.
"Mother fucking hell," she muttered.
Then she thought of Wade.
I can't deal with this. She thought. Everything is just too damn much.
"I know how hard this is for you Kayla." Kane said as if reading her mind. "I did the road alone for a long time. I didn't know how to interact with people at all and when I tried it always blew up in my face. But at least you know people here. I didn't I have any one."
"I'm sorry. I know saying that is lame or whatever but you deserved so much better," Kayla said.
Way to put things back in to perspective. She thought. He's had things so much worse than anyone I've ever known. Yet he manages to still be an amazing person anyway.
"I don't know how you did it," she said.
"I mean, I guess they say you can't miss what you've never had but god, I would have been a fucking mess. Hell, I'm already a mess," she added.
"I know." Kane said laughing.
"How is that even remotely funny?" Kayla asked.
"Because everyone is a mess." Kane said. "At one time or another."
"Thanks a lot, Dr. Phill," Kayla said rolling her eyes.
"You could do Cassie's job. I seriously just want to be fucking miserable. But you're all like 'Perspective, Kayla'... Fucking hell," she added.
"Miserable doesn't get you anywhere." Kane said. "Believe me."
"Yeah so was I in the job I had previously to coming to WWE." J.J. said.
"How can you be such a fucking optimist after all the shit you've been through? I don't get it," Kayla said.
"J.J." Kane said. "I was never that way before her."
"I wasn't that way before Kane." J.J. said. "We both had some serious issues but well it all worked out."
"No one can fix you. That's the point you have to fix yourself. Try to look at this in another way." J.J. said. "You've had it rough I know. Things can get rougher. But look at the bright spots in your life. Those will lead the way."
"The 'bright spots' as you call them are doing just fine without me, obviously," Kayla said bitterly.
"Wade's planning on recording with Kyle, Cassie already has a new client coming in tomorrow and V's going out with a girlfriend next week," she added.
"And you guys have each other. You need your time together; I'd be more selfish than I already am if I took that away from you... or Taker and Sammy," she concluded.
"As far as that's concerned I bet they are missing you just like you are missing them. But you have to do your job and they have to do theirs." J.J. said. "You can't stay shut up in yourself. Make a life for yourself here. Then you can share it with them the next time you're together."
"Before J.J. pushed her way into my life. I had nothing, no one and had the feeling all the time that I was worthless and I could never have what other people had." Kane said. "I was shut up inside myself so tight I couldn't breathe." He paused. "Then she spotted me."
"I knew I wanted inside that shell long before I spotted you that day in the gym. Or didn't I ever tell you. I knew when you slouched." J.J. said smiling.
"I have no fucking clue what I'm doing," Kayla admitted.
"The only life I've ever created for myself was a life in which I partied all the time and fucked pretty girls like it was an Olympic event," she added.
"I know you've made friends besides us. We're here whenever you want us. But I don't want you to think you're intruding. Spend some time with them. With us whatever makes you happiest. But don't ever abuse yourself like you seem to have in the past. Be good to yourself. You'll be happier if you do." J.J. said.
Kayla sighed.
"That's kinda hard to do when you don't like yourself," she said quietly.
"I know how that is." J.J. said. "After my foster father died I couldn't stand myself. Didn't for a long time. People thought it was my fault. They never stuck around long enough to find out it wasn't. Then it got a little better. Then it got worse I even left my job with the LAPD because I couldn't stand myself or what I had become. But well things changed."
"I hate this. I feel like everything I do is just fucking wrong, you know? I'd gladly fix myself... but I don't know how," Kayla said.
"As for other people... there's Cena I guess... and RVD. But I suck at meeting people unless I'm fucked up," she added.
"You met us straight." Kane said. "I have to say sitting on Taker's bike was a hell of a way to meet. But we met."
"The only constant in this world is change. You either flow with it or fight it. Fighting it gets you nowhere fast." J.J. said.
"That was a complete accident though," Kayla said.
"And dude, I may be a lot of things but straight ain't one of them," she added.
Kane laughed and shook his head. "You know what I meant. You were not fucked up that night to put it in your terms."
Kayla shrugged.
"I guess," she said.
"I think that's enough therapy for one day." J.J. said laughing. "We can't change who you are or know exactly what you're going through. Just remember we're here."
"Speaking of here. We have arrived." Kane said pulling into a hotel parking lot.
Kayla got out of the car in relief. Just because she could sit in one without having a panic attack didn't mean she enjoyed the experience.
Taker/Sammy
"All set." Sammy said. "And in plenty of time."
"Yeah." Taker said. "That didn't take long at all."
Sammy packed up her new laptop and set it beside the door with the rest of their things.
A few minutes later they were on the road.
"It's almost too quiet without Cassie and Vanessa in the car." Sammy said.
"Yeah I was kinda getting used to them." Taker said reaching out to take her hand.
They listened to the radio and chatted on the short dive to the next location. They arrived about two and saw that Kane had beaten them.
"I wonder how Kayla is doing?" Sammy asked.
"If I know anything about women and I'm not saying I do she's missing her people a lot." Taker said.
They checked in and headed to their room.
Kayla
Kayla grabbed her luggage, said a quick bye to J.J. and Kane, then went in to the hotel.
There was a line of mostly wrestlers so she joined it and waited restlessly.
I just want to lock the door, curl up in to a ball under the covers and stay there. She thought. Maybe I can plead a sore back and not work tonight? Kane and Taker would never fall for that but Cena probably would.
The line slowly dwindled and it was finally her turn.
She quickly got her key from the clerk and headed up to her room.
Once she was in the room, Kayla propped her suitcases against it the wall and flopped on to the bed.
Fuck me. Even if I text Cena and ask him to tell Vince that I won't be there, Kane and J.J. will be here soon to pick me up. She thought.
After our nice little chat in the car, they'll see right through me if I don't work tonight. Why the fuck did I say anything? I'm pathetic.
Her phone rang but she ignored it. Then it rang twice more but she just turned it to vibrate mode and pretended that she couldn't hear it buzzing. Then there was a knock at her door.
Sighing, she got wearily to her feet. She picked up her bag, put her boots back on and went reluctantly went to answer it.
Kane/J.J.
"Maybe we shouldn't have been so hard on her." J.J. said.
"We weren't hard on her. She has to get used to how this life is." Kane replied.
"I know but we kinda talked to her like we were all knowing. At least we have each other here. She doesn't really have that." J.J. said.
"I know but it's not like she'll never see them again. She has total contact with them anytime she wants." Kane said.
"Yeah, and she is making friends here. It's not the same but like you said this is how WWE life is. We're on the road a lot." J.J. said.
They unpacked what they would need and before long it was time to go.
They stopped, knocking on Kayla's door to make sure she was ready to go.
"Maybe we should encourage her to ride to the arena. Its nice out and she hasn't ridden in a bit. I know it always cheers Taker up." J.J. said.
"Yeah we have to decide what to do with the trailer too. We either need to buy one if she's going to keep traveling with us or she's going to have to truck her bike like Taker does." Kane said.
Just then the door opened and Kayla was standing there.
"Hey," Kayla said as she opened the door.
"Hey yourself." Kane said. "You ready to go?"
Kayla shrugged.
"I guess," she said.
"Well then let's go." J.J. said. "I was thinking since it's nice out maybe you could ride?"
"Yeah you haven't been on your bike in a while it might make you feel a little better." Kane added.
"Not that we don't want you with us. It just might make for a good change for you." J.J. said.
Kayla shrugged again.
"Yeah, maybe," she said.
Kane and J.J. didn't say anything more till they got outside.
"You want me to unhook it or do you want to ride with us?" Kane asked as they reached the SUV.
"I guess I'll ride," Kayla said.
"Ok." Kane said quickly unhooking the bike and rolling it off the trailer. Then he unhooked the trailer from the SUV.
"Thanks," Kayla said.
"No problem." Kane said. "I'm going to return the trailer on the way. We fly to LA next and we can't tow it behind the plane." He laughed.