A new girl in town
Chapter 50
Kayla
She turned around and looked down in to warm brown eyes.
"Kayla fucking Jacobs! It's been a minute, girl," the woman said.
Kayla blinked. The woman looked vaguely familiar but she couldn't place her.
"It's been years, girl. You probably don't even remember me but you'd remember my sister. I'm Charline Jackson. My sister, Olivia, was in your program in Sacramento," the woman – Charline said.
A vague memory began to move to the forefront of Kayla's mind.
A hot night. Cool sheets. Lots of skin. Crazy hair getting everywhere...
"Oh my god, of course!" Kayla said.
"Man, have you grown up. I'm surprised you recognized me though. I don't exactly look the same," Kayla said.
"You do... from the back, darlin'," Charline said with a wink. Then she laughed.
"I meant the hair, Kayla. Liv's the gay sister," Charline added.
Kayla laughed and pulled her in for a hug.
"So what brings you back this way? I heard through the grapevine that you moved out east... to the other big city," Charline said when they'd broken apart.
"I'm doing some contract work for the WWE. Modernizing their site, video editing and launching a network," Kayla said.
"That's amazing! I always thought you'd go places," Charline said.
Kayla shrugged.
"Is your brother still playing ball?" Charline asked.
"Yeah. He's in Israel this season," Kayla said.
"Cool, cool. Listen, I have someone waiting for me so I need to run, but gimme your digits and we can hang if you have the time," Charline said.
Kayla smiled and gave her the number.
"Take care, darlin'. What a crazy small world," Charline said. She waved as she walked away.
My world's just crossed paths in the weirdest fucking way. Kayla thought as Charline left.
Never in a million years would I have guessed that someone from that far back would recognize me. I guess I'm built more or less the same way but wow. She has a good eye. Olivia wasn't bad in bed either.
Did she ever fucking grow up though? I only met her a couple of times but still. Shit is crazy.
Just then Kane and J.J. walked out of the security office. Kane was stiff and looking very angry. J.J. had her arm around him trying it appeared to calm him.
"Is everything okay?" Kayla asked.
"Yeah as usual the simplest things are the hardest." J.J. said. "They really gave him shit. But it's all taken care of now."
Kane shook his head and put his arm across J.J.'s shoulders.
Together the three of them walked to the exit.
"You up for going to Mario's." J.J. asked Kane as they exited. "I could really use some food."
"Only if my money is good." Kane said. Kayla could hear the smile in his voice.
J.J. laughed.
"How about you Kayla? Food is really good so is the company." J.J. asked.
"Yeah, sure," Kayla said.
"Good." J.J. said.
They put their luggage in the back and Kane got behind the wheel.
Am I overstepping here? Kayla wondered. I mean I know they just invited me but Kane looks really upset. Seems like they could really use some alone time.
The drive was short and as they pulled up there were several police cars out front.
As they walked in J.J. and Kane were greeted warmly with hellos and hand shaking.
"Hey guys." J.J. said. "This is Kayla. She's new to the WWE and we dragged her along. Be nice to her."
"No problem any friend or yours." One of them said. "How is the brother?" the officer asked Kane.
"He's doing well." Kane said.
"Sorry about the titles. That was a total rip off." Another officer said.
Kane nodded.
One of the men is suits kept staring at Kayla.
"So J.J. when are you coming back." One of them said.
"I'm not John. I've got a good job and I get to work with my husband now."
"Aww. Come on J.J.? You know you'll always be one of our own." John said getting up to give her a hug.
"Kayla? Is that you?" The officer that had been staring at her said. "Do you have a brother named Tye."
"It's really good to see you hun." The man said.
"Yeah, I do. I'm guessing you worked with my dad," Kayla said.
"Yeah, guilty. He was one of the best." The man said. "I don't know if you remember me my name is Sam Jameson. I remember coming to your parent's house for dinner fondly."
Kayla shrugged.
"That was a long time ago, sir," she said.
I don't touch most of those memories if I can help it. She added silently.
"It must be hard for you seeing so many people your dad may have known." Sam said. "I've watched over you and your brother for years. I can't tell you how proud your dad would have been. A captain in the marines the other things you've done. You're more than he could ever have hoped for."
"It's just one of many reasons I don't come back here if I can help it," Kayla said.
"As for my dad...I'm not at all what he wanted. He always wanted sons. I knew that even if he never said it. He also wanted athletes. I tried but Tye was better at it," Kayla said.
"No," Sam said. "When we talked while you two were growing up all he ever wanted was for you to be who you were and happy."
Kayla realized the guy was purposely not saying she'd been a guy. He was avoiding it as if he were protecting her.
Kayla shrugged.
"If you knew about us, why weren't you around? Tye needed someone like you in his life. Instead, he got me," Kayla said bitterly.
"I didn't think you'd want a reminder of your dad. But me and some others kept tabs. If you'd have needed us we would have been there. You were good kids." Sam said.
"Sometimes assumptions cause more damage than just asking," Kayla said.
"I didn't realize." He said. "If I had I'd have been there in more than just spirit. I was at both your high school graduation and college graduation. For both of you."
Kayla felt like she was seconds away from having a panic attack.
"Can you excuse me for a moment? I'll be right back," she said.
"What's going on Sam?" J.J. asked when Kayla ran off.
"I should have been there for her and Tye. But by the time I realized that it had been years and I couldn't face them." Sam said.
"Her dad was a cop?" Kane asked.
"A detective in homicide." Sam said. "When we lost Paul and Katherin we were devastated. He was one of the best in homicide. You would have liked him J.J. He was unstoppable once he got on a case."
"Can I talk to we talk to you in private." J.J. said.
"Sure." Sam said leaving the table and heading outside.
Once they were there Sam looked at J.J.
"What did you want to talk about?" Sam asked.
"Her parents died when she was like twelve. How did you realize it was her? She wasn't like she is now." J.J. asked.
"Like I said from the accident onward we, me and some others, watched over them from afar. We sent gifts at Christmas from santa and things like that. So I knew about her transformation. Most of them don't so I didn't want to say anything in front of them." Sam said.
"The accident?" Kane asked.
"Yeah they were both killed by a drunk driver." Sam said.
"Shit." Kane muttered. "Who did they live with after the accident?"
"Why do you want to know?" Sam asked Kane.
"I'd like to know it was good people." Kane said.
"They ended up in foster care." Sam said.
"That's not good." Kane said because that is what Father would often threaten him with getting sent to foster care when Kane did something he didn't approve of. Paul had told him he'd be alone that no one would care for him or want him because he was burned.
"Were they at least able to stay together." J.J. asked.
"Yes. If they had been separated I would have.. oh I don't know what I would have done." Sam said honestly. "I know now I screwed up. But it's too late to fix it."
"Were they treated well." Kane asked worriedly.
"Well they both had their problems." Sam said. "I won't lie. Tye seemed ok after therapy but Mike was never the same. He became antisocial. I worried that he'd end up in juvy but thankfully he didn't. When I found out Mike was transitioning I was concerned but then as Kayla became a marine I knew she'd do ok. I was really upset when she was hurt but there was nothing I could do. I couldn't exactly come forward after all those years."
"I understand." J.J. said but maybe you should explain all this to Kayla."
"NO I couldn't it would only be upsetting. You heard her she doesn't want to think about that time." Sam said.
"We'd better get back inside before people start wondering why we came out." Kane said.
"They're cops Kane they were wondering as soon as we stepped out the door to talk." J.J. said smiling.
Kayla tried forcing herself to calm down but it wasn't working. It never worked. She cursed everything as she sat and waited.
They're definitely talking about me. She thought. That guy - Sam or whoever he is - seems to know everything there is to know about us. He has no reason to hold any of it back. He sure as hell didn't give enough of a fuck to be in our lives when we really needed somebody.
God fucking damn it, how can I ever tell Tye about any of this?
I knew this wasn't a good idea. Why didn't I just stay away where the memories of things I'll never have couldn't get me?
Every fucking mistake I've made happened here. Every single fucking one. Why the fuck won't they just leave me alone?
God, the worst place to for me to be right now is inside of my own head. But I have no fucking choice; I'm fucked up and I always will be. Wade and the girls deserve so much better than this.
Her thoughts continued to circle and she was powerless to stop them.
Kane and J.J. took a seat and waited for Kayla to come out. When she didn't J.J. went to the only place she could think Kayla would be the bathroom.
Walking in she could see Kayla's feet under the stall door.
"You know hiding in here isn't going to work." J.J. said. "You have to come out eventually."
"No, I really don't," Kayla said.
"No you really do." J.J. said. "If you want to leave that's fine we'll go. I didn't know about your dad being a detective or I would have asked before bringing you here. I just wanted to visit old friends while I was in town. I didn't know honest."
"Besides I think Kane is about to faint from hunger." J.J. joked. "Whether it's here or someplace else we need to get him some food."
Kayla sighed.
"You couldn't have known. Most people know that my parents dyed but no one other than... you know... knows about what they did," she said.
"I'm sorry I ruined your visit. Fucking up other people's lives seems to be my thing," she added.
"Stop it Kayla." J.J. said. "You didn't ruin anything. I can come back with Kane anytime while we're here. It's not a big deal. I just wish I'd known because I wouldn't do anything to try to upset you."
"Kayla?" Kane said opening the door and walking into the ladies room. "I hope you two are alone in here."
"J.J.'s here. I'm not," Kayla said.
"That's too bad then because I think my friend Kayla could use a hug right about now." Kane said.
Kayla sighed.
"Even the best hugs can't fix how fucked up I am," she said.
"Kayla I'm just as fucked up as you. Do you think I should hide in the bathroom too?" Kane asked. "I don't think the men's is as nice as this one though." Kane added.
Kayla shrugged.
"I haven't seen your face. That's hiding," she said before she could stop herself.
"Oh god. Fuck. I didn't just say that," she said.
"You're right I am hiding." Kane said. "But not from you. From myself. I've hidden myself for so long so I wouldn't think about what I am. That I can't seem to stop."
J.J. was shocked to hear that come out of Kane's mouth. She didn't know what to say. So she just wrapped her arm around his waist.
"I get it, you know. I really fucking do. Everyone who's gone through what we've been through has been there. Even Wade, if you can believe it. He saved my fucking life. If we hadn't met, I'd still be hiding. So would he," Kayla said.
"There will never be any judgment from me; I can promise you that. I've had to live with the way I look for a long time. As weird as it sounds, it's probably the only thing about me that I've accepted," she added.
"Please come out of there Kayla." Kane said. "I think this time I'm the one that needs the hug."
"Will you let me to help you help you? I don't expect you to become me or Wade... But can you trust me enough to try?" Kayla asked.
"This is who I am Kayla. I'm not ready or willing to change that. Not yet maybe someday. But not yet." Kane said sounding unsteady.
J.J. squeezed him around the waist knowing how hard this conversation was for him.
Kayla's heart hurt at his words but she knew that she couldn't say any of the things she was thinking.
"I get it," she said. Then she shakily unlocked the door and walked out of the stall.
The second she walked out Kane wrapped Kayla in a hug so fierce she couldn't breathe.
She hugged him back as tightly as she could.
"I'm sorry for pushing like that... or for maybe making you think that I want you to change who you are," she said quietly.
Kane shook his head and patted the top of her head then laughed.
"Hun." He said to J.J. "Whether we stay or go you have to say hi to Mario. He thinks I ate you while waiting for the waitress to take our order." Kane laughed.
Kayla shook her head.
"Who's Mario?" She asked.
"The owner." J.J. said. "He's been a good friend since my days on the force."
"You were a cop?" Kayla asked.
"I was a forensic photographer." J.J. said.
"Wow," Kayla said.
"Yeah I am too young to have known your dad. But the way Sam talks about him he must have been something else." J.J. said.
"He was. He was the most unassuming guy at home but when the job called that changed real quickly. It was like poof; personality transplant," Kayla said.
"He got me in to music. I heard Queen for the first time because of him," she added.
"See not all memories hurt." J.J. said. "I had to learn that the hard way too."
"He'd be proud of Tye; I can guarantee that. But me... not so much. My dad wanted sons and athletes. I tried and failed spectacularly at both," she said.
"Sam said all he wanted was you guys to be yourselves and happy." J.J. said. "I think you've succeed at that very well. I think he would be proud that you were strong enough to be the person you needed to be."
Kayla shrugged.
"Cops don't always know everything," she said.
"No you're right they don't. But I think Sam knew your dad well enough that he would know what your father wanted from you kids. Fathers talk proudly of their kids. Sam seemed sincere in his memories of what your father had told him he wanted. So I believe him. I think your father would have been as proud of you now as he was back then."
"Either way, I'll never really know," Kayla said.
"Yes you will. Someday. In the meantime think the best of your father like you always have. What do you think he'd feel?" J.J. asked.
Kayla shrugged.
"I entered the Marine Core for a lot of reasons. Some of them make sense but others can probably be chalked up to me being really young and pretty damn stupid. One of those reasons was him. I figured if I challenged myself to be the best Marine I could be, maybe I'd gain his approval somehow. I know it's stupid. So I don't know if he'd be proud of that," Kayla said.
"Kayla boy or girl you're a decorated war veteran. What father wouldn't be proud of that." J.J. said. "But I think he'd be just as proud of you for being you."
Just then they heard a scream from behind them and saw a woman run out.