Inconvenient Crush Chapter 12, a yuri!!! on ice fanfic

Chapter 12

Otabek was overcome with a sense of deja vu when he woke up the next morning, JJ sleeping soundly beside him, one arm thrown over Otabek's stomach. They were both snuggly wrapped up inside the double sleeping bag, JJ's body heat providing Otabek warmth from the morning chill. Unlike last time, however, there was no need to rush to get dressed, no reason to worry that someone might walk in on them and find them in a compromising position. They could spend as long as they wanted in bed (so to speak), enjoying each other's company.

Careful not to awaken JJ from his peaceful slumber, Otabek slowly rolled over on his side to face him. He wasn't sure what time it was, but it was late enough in the morning that a good amount of sunlight already streamed through the mesh windows of their tent, falling onto JJ's sleeping face. A bird sang somewhere nearby, and a soft breeze blew, rustling the leaves on the many trees surrounding the area.

Otabek wasn't sure if he really believed in Heaven, but if such a place existed, then he hoped it was something like this.

Smiling, he lightly ran a finger over JJ's bottom lip. Though JJ stirred at his touch, he continued to sleep, his breathing soft and steady. Would he mind if I kissed him? Or even went a little further? JJ had enjoyed his wake-up kiss on his birthday, but that was something they had planned in advance...

No, better not, Otabek thought, stopping himself.

Instead, he reached behind his back, blindly fumbling around until his hand wrapped around his cell phone. He had turned it off for the night, wanting to conserve as much power as possible, so he turned it back on, holding his breath at the annoying beeping sound it made while booting up. Fortunately, JJ's eyes remained closed.

With the phone turned on, Otabek pulled up the Camera app and directed the lens at JJ's face. It wasn't as good as his actual camera, but it would do in a pinch. He didn't want to risk waking JJ up by leaving the tent to grab it out of the truck, where he had stored the expensive camera for safe-keeping. After playing around with the settings until the image looked decent enough, Otabek snapped a covert photo, nearly jumping out of his skin when one of JJ's eyes fluttered open right afterwards.

"Hey, did you just take my picture?" he asked, his voice drowsy with sleep as he rubbed at his left eye.

"Uhh...maybe?" Otabek quickly hid his phone underneath his pillow.

JJ let out a chuckle. "Don't worry. I don't mind if you did."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Sorry, I can delete it if you want," he offered, bringing the phone back out.

"Is it at least a good one?"

Otabek wordlessly pulled up the photo in question and showed it to him, letting JJ be the judge.

"Nah, keep it," he said, handing the phone back to him. "Just don't upload it on Instagram or anything like that."

"O-Of course." Otabek never had any intention of doing so in the first place. This side of JJ was his, and his alone.

"Hey, come here." He pulled Otabek closer to him, kissing the tip of his nose. "You're cute when you're flustered, you know that?"

"I wasn't flustered," Otabek protested, even as he felt a warmth spreading across his cheeks. "And you have morning breath."

"Oh, do I?" JJ purposely breathed on him again, Otabek crinkling his nose. In all honesty, it wasn't that horrible, but a breath mint wouldn't hurt.

JJ sighed. "And here I was so looking forward to receiving a morning kiss from my boyfriend…" he said, pouting in a way that was just too adorable to resist.

"Oh, what the hell." Otabek brought his lips to JJ's, giving him a soft kiss. "Satisfied?"

"Very," JJ said, smiling as he brushed a strand of Otabek's hair out of his eyes. "But, you know, your breath is hardly minty fresh either..."

"Is that so?" Just for that, Otabek kissed him again, JJ fighting back laughter as he stubbornly attempted to keep his mouth closed. It didn't take long for him to give in, though, rolling Otabek onto his back and settling in between his legs.

Otabek moaned into JJ's mouth. JJ had woken up with a very obvious case of morning wood, his hardness pressing against him through the fabric of his boxers. Otabek rolled his hips in response, causing JJ to release his lips and let out one of his Quebecois swears.

"Condoms?" he panted, lifting up his head to look around the tent.

The box was around somewhere. Otabek remembered tossing it aside the night before. Pinned underneath JJ, he couldn't move around much to help with the search, but he turned his head in the direction where JJ wasn't looking, his eyes roaming around the tent until he noticed a large lump of, well, something hiding underneath one of their discarded pairs of jeans.

"Is that them? Over there?" he asked, pointing to the jeans in question, laying near their feet.

"I'll check." JJ unzipped one of the sides of their sleeping bag and climbed out. "Stay right there. Don't move."

As if Otabek had any desire to leave.

JJ crawled over to the jeans, lifting up one of the legs to reveal the missing condoms along with a bottle of lube. He took a couple of foil packets out of the box and grabbed the lube, then rejoined Otabek, who had unzipped the other side of the convertible sleeping bag for better ease of movement.

"Now, where were we?" JJ asked, settling once again in between Otabek's spread legs.

"Hmm, I believe we were…"

Reaching up, Otabek wrapped his arms around JJ's neck and pulled him down on top of him, their lips crashing together once again.

By that point, neither of them cared much about morning breath or the fact that the both of them could probably do with a shower. All that mattered was being together, touching and caressing each other's bodies until they were both shuddering in ecstasy.

Afterwards, they lay together in the afterglow, a completely spent Otabek resting his head on JJ's bare chest. JJ's heartbeat pounded in his ear, gradually becoming slower as it returned to its normal rhythm.

"I wish every morning could be like this," Otabek murmured, lightly kissing JJ's pec. The thought of returning to the Leroy household and having to wake up alone in his own bed every morning again was almost too cruel to fathom.

"Me, too." JJ lazily combed his fingers through Otabek's mussed hair, the sensation sending tiny tingles down his spine. "If only…" He sighed. "Well, maybe someday."

"Yeah."

Maybe someday.

Lulled by the following silence (and post-orgasmic hormones), Otabek had almost drifted back to sleep when he sensed JJ shifting around. He lifted his head off JJ's chest, allowing him to turn over onto his side and pat his hand around, seemingly searching for something.

"JJ?" Propping himself up on his elbow, Otabek rubbed at his right eye. "What are you looking for?"

"My phone, but I can't seem to find it. It has to be around here somewhere..." He glanced back at Otabek over his shoulder. "Could you call me?"

"Yeah, sure." Otabek slid his hand underneath his pillow and again pulled out his phone, tapping JJ's name on his contacts list. A couple of seconds later, his ringtone went off, JJ crawling around and following the sound until he located it in the pocket of his jacket.

"Oh, right, I forgot I brought it with me when I went looking for you last night," he said, frowning as he looked down at the screen. "Man, I didn't realize it was already so late! We need to hurry."

"For what?"

"Tubing, remember? It starts at ten."

"Oh, right."

He had nearly forgotten about that. To be honest, if given a choice, Otabek would have much preferred staying secluded at their private campsite for the entire weekend, away from the more public areas of the park where they would once again have to pretend to be merely good friends on a completely platonic camping trip, but JJ had always wanted to go tubing down the Grand River, the main reason he had picked Elora Gorge in the first place.

Well, at least it was only for a couple of hours, and afterwards, JJ had promised to go hiking with him, getting in some of the off-ice training they had promised Nathalie they would do on their trip while also allowing Otabek to discover some inspiring sights for his photographs.

"There are showers in the building where we need to pick up our rental equipment, right?" JJ asked, pulling a clean T-shirt – the right size this time – out of his bag and over his head.

"Yeah." Otabek had spent some time the night before while waiting for their food to cook over the fire marking out the important locations on the map they had been provided with when they signed in. "We'll need to bring some quarters to pay to use them, though. It's twenty-five cents for every five minutes."

"No prob." He grabbed the pair of jeans from before. "Papa always keeps some loose change in his truck in case he ever needs to air up his tires or anything. He won't mind if we borrow some." He tossed another shirt in Otabek's direction before putting on his jeans. "Come on, find your swim trunks and get dressed. We'll grab some granola bars for breakfast, then drive over to the rental booth."

The current of the Grand River was faster than Otabek expected.

He swallowed hard, adjusting the straps of his safety helmet to make certain it was secure on his head. He'd known, of course, that the rapids could be strong, but it was one thing to simply read about it on a website. Witnessing them in person, on the other hand, had him wondering why the hell he had ever agreed to float down a river with nothing more than an inflatable tube in the first place.

It had to have been a case of temporary insanity.

He glanced over at JJ a few feet away. His boyfriend showed no such trepidation over the impending danger, laughing and chatting with another couple in French as he fastened the buckles of his bright orange life jacket. Noticing Otabek looking at him, JJ gave a small wave, then exchanged a few more words with the man and woman before picking up his tube and walking over to rejoin Otabek.

"Nice couple," he said, throwing his thumb over his shoulder. "It's their tenth time tubing down the Gorge. They're from Montreal, but they come camping here every summer to celebrate their wedding anniversary since it's where they got engaged. Pretty romantic, huh?"

"Mmm," Otabek voiced, only half-listening. His attention had once again wandered over to the river, where a tuber had just been swept away by the rushing current, letting out a whoop of exhilaration.

JJ followed his gaze. "Hey, you're not having second thoughts, are you?"

"No." This was something JJ really wanted to do. Otabek wasn't going to kill the mood by admitting he was a little – okay, maybe more than a little – nervous. "It looks fun."

And it did! Everybody who had already launched into the river seemed like they were having a blast. Otabek could see the appeal.

But…

"Hey, don't worry about it," JJ said in a low voice, discreetly rubbing his arm. "The current's fast at first, but Pierre says it usually calms down after a couple of minutes."

"Pierre?"

"The guy I was just talking to. Like I said, he and his wife have gone tubing here a lot, so they know what they're talking about."

"Oh."

"They said the current will pick up again further downstream at times, but it likely won't be as fast as right here. You want a strong current at the beginning to give you a good push."

That made sense, he supposed.

"Besides, we're both strong swimmers, and the water's not that deep," JJ continued. "We'll be fine. So, ready to go in?"

Otabek inhaled a deep breath, steeling himself. Ready as he would ever be, he supposed.

"Yeah."

They walked over to the river's edge, wading knee-deep into the water with their large neon green tubes. Compared to the rapidly increasing temperature of the air, the water was much cooler, a shock to the system – although considering how cold the showers had been, it probably shouldn't have come as a surprise. (The five minute time limit had been more than long enough, as it turned out.) Otabek muttered a few choice expletives under his breath, causing JJ to laugh.

"Come on, you're a figure skater, Beka! You should be used to the cold."

Yeah, well, he preferred his water frozen, not freezing. Just for that, Otabek dragged his free arm through the waves, splashing some in JJ's direction.

"Saint ciboire, qu'est ce qu'il fait froid!"

"Come on, you're a figure skater, JJ. You should be used to the cold," Otabek deadpanned in return, only to burst out laughing at the sight of a dripping wet JJ glaring at him through his soaked bangs.

Having gotten over his initial shock, JJ slicked back his damp hair and joined in as well, the two of them gripping each other by the shoulder to keep from being knocked over by the current. The laughter helped, chasing away some of Otabek's nerves.

"Want me to help keep your tube steady while you get on?" JJ offered when they finally recovered.

"Yeah."

Otabek set his tube down in the water, JJ holding onto one of the provided handles as he attempted to sit down on the tube. It took him a couple of tries, but he managed to position himself securely, butt in the center and his legs splayed over the rim as he leaned against the backrest. Otabek then grabbed onto the handles, hesitating only for a moment before nodding when JJ asked if it was okay to let go.

"Okay, on three… Un...deux...trois…"

With that, JJ released his grip on the handle, calling out that he would be right behind him as the current swept Otabek away.

"Oh, God, Oh, God, Oh, God, Oh, God…"

Adrenaline pulsed through his veins as he tightened his grip on the tube's handles, holding on for dear life. Otabek had little control over where the water took him, the ride bumpy and wet as the waves carried him downstream. At a couple of points, his tube veered dangerously close to the gorge's walls, but, somehow, he managed to evade actually hitting them, his heartbeat spiking with every near-miss.

And then finally...blessed stillness.

He had survived.

Otabek exhaled, his heart still pounding in his chest. Pierre had been right; this section of the river was much calmer. He sat back against the backrest and relaxed for the first time since JJ let go of the handle, content to drift atop the gently swaying waves below him.

"Wow, it really is stunning down here," he murmured to himself, taking in the over twenty foot tall limestone walls towering on each side of the river. He hadn't been able to adequately appreciate their grandeur while fearing he was going to crash into them and break every single bone in his body.

He reached for the camera attached to his left wrist, slipping the strap over his hand. He hadn't dared to bring his fancy digital camera or his cell phone with him, afraid they would be either lost or damaged even in one of the handy waterproof bags Cast Wheels had provided them with, but he had bought a cheap disposable waterproof camera at the pharmacy on a lark while picking up a new box of condoms and some other necessities for their trip.

Bring the viewfinder up to his eye, Otabek began snapping some pictures. He harbored no delusions of any of them being great photographs, but it would still be nice to have them as mementos to look back on. He was turning the scroll wheel and preparing to take another when a familiar voice called out his name.

"Beka!"

He glanced back over his shoulder. JJ had finally caught up to him, using his large hands as paddles as he slowly make his way over to Otabek in the calm waters. He ended up lightly bumping into the side of Otabek's tube, spinning around so that he was going downstream backwards.

"Hey," he said, grinning and waving as if he had meant to do that all along.

Otabek hid a chuckle behind his hand. "Hey."

"So? What did you think? Wasn't that freaking awesome?"

"Awesome" was probably not the word he would have chosen to describe the experience, but… "It certainly was a thrill," Otabek had to admit. Not one that he was particularly eager to repeat, yet an exciting experience all the same.

"Wasn't it? The rush of being swept along, not knowing where the current would take you… I never felt more alive!"

"I'm glad it lived up to your expectations."

"What about you? Have you taken any good pics?" JJ nodded toward the camera in Otabek's hand.

"I hope so. I won't know for sure until I get the film developed," he said, waving the camera around. "It's weird not being able to see the pictures right away, but also kind of cool, in a way. Exciting."

"Yeah, I get it. It can be fun to kick it back old school every once in a while."

Whatever the hell that meant. Otabek wasn't entirely sure.

"Anyway, mind if I take a picture?" he asked, again bringing his camera up to his face and pointing it in JJ's direction. The sun was hitting him at the perfect angle, picking up subtle auburn highlights in JJ's dark hair which Otabek had never really noticed before.

"Go ahead! Just make sure to get my good side." Posing, JJ threw up his fingers in the form of his familiar double Js and smiled.

Otabek rolled his eyes, but took the photo. "As if you have a bad side…"

"True!"

He snapped a couple more pictures of JJ just to be on the safe side – hopefully at least one of them turned out decently – then slipped the camera's strap back over his wrist. As much as he was enjoying the tranquility, he could see up ahead that the river's current was starting to pick up again. After warning JJ and helping him turn his tube back around so he could see, Otabek grabbed onto his own tube's handles and prepared for another rocky ride.

"Ready?" JJ asked with a huge grin, doing the same.

Otabek inhaled a deep breath, steeling himself once again.

"Ready."

It took about an hour and a half for them to finally reach the end of the tubing route. JJ was ready to go for another run as soon as they finished, but once was more than enough for Otabek. Thankfully, JJ was good-natured about it, happy that he had at least gotten the chance to experience it. They walked back to the rental booth to return their tubes, life jackets, and safety helmets, then changed into some dry clothes and grabbed an early lunch from a nearby concession stand to make up for their quick breakfast-on-the-run. They ate their hamburgers at one of the picnic tables near the splash pad before grabbing Otabek's good camera from the truck and starting out on one of the conservation area's various hiking trails.

Though he had expected it – it would be much too dangerous otherwise – it was still disappointing to see the top of the gorge lined with a fence to keep hikers from getting too close to the edge and falling into the Grand River below. The pictures he could have taken without the barrier in the way would have no doubt been amazing. The trail still provided plenty of beautiful scenery through the forest, though, and they soon came across the Hole in the Rock, which was pretty much exactly what it sounded like. From a cavernous "hole" carved into a massive boulder, there was a winding staircase leading down to the lower portion of the gorge.

"Wanna head down and check it out?" JJ asked after Otabek had taken a few photos of the hole with his camera, hung around his neck with a thick strap for easy access.

Otabek nodded. "Let's go."

They carefully made their way down the stone steps through the hole, which switched to a metal staircase a few feet down. Again, a chain-link fence prevented people from getting too close to the gorge but the main attraction was a tall tree, growing out of an enormous rock and featuring a mass of exposed roots at the bottom. JJ let out a low whistle at the sight of it.

"Wow, it looks like something right out of Lord of the Rings, doesn't it?" he mused, circling around it in awe.

"I don't know. I've never read it before," Otabek admitted, taking some photos of the tree.

"You haven't? What about the movies? You've must have at least seen the films."

"You know I'm not much of a movie buff." He was familiar with the soundtrack, though. JJ had memorably used it for his free program last season, portraying heroic Aragorn.

"Oh, right. Well, you have to read the books! They're a classic for a reason," JJ said. "I'll loan you the first one when we get back home. I think you'll really enjoy it."

"Cool. Thanks." Otabek pointed to a spot on the tangle of roots. "Hey, could you stand over there? I want to get some photos of you with the tree."

"At your service!"

JJ moved to the spot he indicated, posing for a few "normal" photos before he started breaking out some of the choreography from his Lord of the Rings free skate. "Gotta give the fans what they want," he said as he pretended to draw back the string on an invisible bow, the transition that had signaled the beginning of his epic Level 4 step sequence, the first one to receive unanimous 3 grade of execution marks from all the judges at a junior-level competition.

Otabek certainly wasn't complaining, inwardly fanboying as he snapped several photos of the iconic pose from different angles. No doubt JJ would receive plenty of "likes" when he posted the photos in Instagram.

When they finished the impromptu photo shoot, they climbed back up the stairs and continued on the trail, walking side-by-side.

Every once in a while, Otabek stared down at JJ's empty hand swinging at his side. He longed with every fiber of his being to reach out and grab it, but they weren't the only people around. Though the trail wasn't crowded at all, there was a small family hiking ahead of them and a middle-aged lesbian couple behind them, walking their dog.

We're just good friends on a weekend camping trip, he thought, keeping in mind their cover story when they were away from the safety of their private campsite. Totally platonic.

But when they returned…

Otabek let out a soft gasp as JJ, seemingly reading his mind, slipped his hand in his, entwining their fingers together.

"It's okay," JJ said in a low voice. "Nobody knows us here."

"Yeah, but somebody might still recognize you," Otabek reminded him. This wasn't like the club, where it had been too dark for anybody to really see anything. Though JJ was only just moving up to the senior ranks this season, thanks to his World Junior title and his bronze from Canadian Nationals, he had already amassed quite the following. He even had his own official fanclub, as Otabek had recently discovered after JJ showed him some of the comments he had received on the sponsored camping photos he had posted on social media the night before. They liked to call themselves JJ Girls, and some seemed, well, quite...fanatical, to put it politely.

"That's what these are for." With his other hand, JJ pointed to his head, indicating his brand new Ray-Ban sunglasses – he had already lost the pair he received for his birthday – and a familiar-looking beat-up Toronto Blue Jays baseball cap that Otabek was almost certain belonged to Alain. He must have found it in the backseat of the truck. "You can't even tell it's me, eh?"

Well, Otabek could, but to be fair, he had spent a lot of time staring at JJ's face these past few months. The disguise was probably good enough to fool the average person, though. While he had gotten a few autograph requests while they were queued up at the rental booth, it was true nobody had approached them since JJ had changed clothes and put on the sunglasses and hat.

"Are you sure?" Otabek glanced back over his shoulder. The couple walking behind them paid them no mind, their attention focused on their adorable Labrador retriever, who was currently sniffing at a bush.

"I wouldn't do this if I wasn't."

Lifting up Otabek's hand, JJ brought it to his lips and kissed it. Otabek's cheeks warmed, surprised but pleased by the unexpected public display of affection.

"Satisfied?" JJ teased.

Not quite.

Coming to a stop in the middle of the trail, Otabek suddenly turned to face JJ and grabbed the front of his T-shirt with his free hand, yanking him downward. Their lips crashed together, JJ's eyes widening in surprise before surrendering fully to the kiss.

"Now I'm satisfied," Otabek said when they finally pulled apart.

He then retook a dazed JJ's hand, and the two of them continued on with their hike.

The highlight of the trail came as they reached a bridge connecting the two sides of the gorge. Finally Otabek had the (mostly unobstructed) views he had been looking for. Letting go of JJ's hand, he walked over to the left side of the bridge, his mouth dropping as he took in the sight of the gorge head-on. While they were tubing, the view had been great from below, but somewhat limited by the tall limestone walls. He could see so much more from above, including the beautiful cedar trees lining the top of the gorge.

Reaching for the camera hanging around his neck, Otabek adjusted the settings and began snapping photos like a man possessed, barely even noticing when JJ came up beside him. He kept quiet, resting his forearms on top of the guardrail and respectfully waiting until Otabek lowered his camera to talk.

"Enjoying yourself?" JJ asked with a soft smile.

"Yeah." Otabek started going through the photos he had taken, deleting a few he didn't think were worth keeping. "The view from up here is incredible, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's pretty amazing, although if you ask me, the view from over here is even more spectacular."

He looked up, brows furrowed. "What are you talking about? The view can't be that much different – oh."

JJ had turned his attention away from the gorge, his gray-blue eyes staring straight at Otabek's face.

"I like watching you take photos," he said. "You get this kind of twinkle in your eye. It's very sexy."

"I-It is?"

"Uh-huh." He scooted closer to Otabek, looking over his shoulder. "Mind if I take a look at those?"

"Um...sure, if you want." Otabek lifted the strap over his head and handed the camera over to JJ. "You can press these arrow keys to go through the photos," he said, pointing to the dial beside the LCD screen. "I've only been studying photography for about a year, so I'm still not that great, but –"

"Not that great? Come on, don't be modest – these are fantastic!" JJ exclaimed. "I mean, I don't know a lot about photography, but they look pretty awesome to me. Especially this one." He showed Otabek the current photo on the screen, which showed a wide view of the gorge. "I wouldn't be surprised to see a photo like this in an exhibit at the art gallery where Chris is interning. Do you think you could print me out a copy when we get home?"

"You like it that much?" Otabek had to admit it was one of his better shots, but he hadn't expected JJ to take such in interest in his photographs.

"I do." He continued flipping through the photos. "Do you want to become a photographer? You know, when you retire from skating?"

"I don't know." Otabek thought about it sometimes, but it was hard to imagine a life outside of skating. Ideally, if all went according to plan, he'd win the first Olympic figure skating medal for Kazakhstan one day, then tour the world for a few years in ice shows, maybe squeezing in some college courses to keep his parents happy. After that, he thought he might open his own skating school in Almaty and go into coaching, guiding the next generation of Kazakh skaters so they wouldn't be forced to leave their homeland as he had done in order to find a high-level coach, but it would take a lot of time and money to achieve that kind of goal. "Maybe, but I hope that's a long time away," he said, slipping the camera's strap back over his head once JJ had finished going through the pictures and handed it back to him. "What about you? Do you have plans for after skating?"

He'd seen a few college brochures on JJ's desk the other day. With his grades, he would probably have no problem getting accepted into any elite college of his choosing, although his top choice was still the University of Toronto so he could continue training with his parents. Otabek wondered what he planned to study; he had never mentioned what subject he wanted to major in.

JJ shrugged. "Dunno either. There are so many things I want to do, it's hard to choose, you know? Maybe I'll coach or do choreography, or maybe I'll become a math teacher, like you suggested that one time. Doing something in music would be really cool, too, or starting some kind of business... I just know that whatever I do, I wanna do something great...something 'JJ Style'." He grinned, once again holding up his fingers in his trademark double Js as Otabek shook his head and laughed.

"One of these days, you're going to have to explain to me what this 'JJ Style' actually is," Otabek said, "but for now…"

He lifted the camera back to his face and took a couple of photos of JJ's goofy pose, JJ hamming it up even more with his over-the-top facial expressions. One thing to be said about Jean-Jacques Leroy – the camera absolutely loved him.

And so did he.

The feeling swelled up in him like a crescendo, almost overwhelming in its intensity. JJ hadn't even done anything that special or out of the ordinary, yet Otabek's heart overflowed with the love he felt toward him.

Was this it? The perfect moment to finally tell JJ those three special words?

"Beka?" JJ waved his hand in front of the camera lens. "Uh, Earth to Beka? Something wrong?"

"N-No." Otabek released his hold on his camera, letting it hang from the strap around his neck. "No, everything's right," he said, reaching up to slide JJ's over-sized Ray-Bans off his face with shaking hands.

His thick brows furrowed in confusion. "Beka, what's going on? What are you –"

Otabek brought a finger to JJ's lips, silently shushing him. "There's something I want to tell you," he said, inhaling a deep breath to try to calm his pounding heart. "Something I've been wanting to say for a while now, but I was afraid it was too soon." He lifted up his chin, staring up into JJ's beautiful gray-blue eyes, and licked his lips before continuing. "These last few weeks with you have been absolutely incredible. You're my first thought in the morning and my last thought at –"

"Woof!"

Otabek blinked, looking downward. The dog belonging to the lesbian couple had caught up to them, his tail excitedly wagging back-and-forth as he pounced around JJ's and Otabek's feet.

"Max!"

His owners rushed over, the taller one with a pixie haircut grabbing the end of the dog's purple leash from off the ground. "So, so sorry about that," she said, gently pulling the panting dog away. "The leash slipped out of my hand, and before I knew it, he had sprinted off."

"Oh, no problem!" JJ assured her. "I love dogs. So, his name is Max?"

"Yes, short for Maximilien," the woman's partner said, smiling. She spoke with a distinct Quebecois accent.

"Maximilien – what a good, strong name. Is it okay if we pet him?"

"Sure, go ahead," the taller woman said. "He's very friendly."

JJ squatted down so that he was about eye-level with the dog and started petting his head. Unlike when they had visited the cats at the animal shelter, JJ showed no fear or hesitation in interacting with Max, his eyes lighting up with childish glee as he ran his fingers over the dog's light golden-brown fur.

"Hey, there, Max. Nice to meet you," he said, bursting into delighted laughter when Max started licking his face.

On instinct, Otabek lifted up his camera and snapped a couple of photos before realizing he probably should have asked for permission first. "Oh, sorry. I can delete them if you –"

"No, it's fine, it's fine." The Quebecois woman giggled as JJ fell back on his butt, Max continuing to lick him like a human ice cream cone. "Oh, my, I think Max may be a little in love with your boyfriend."

"Oh, um, he's not…" He was about to protest the label, but they had probably seen him and JJ kissing earlier. There was really no point in trying to deny it. "He is very lovable," Otabek said with a fond smile instead, taking a few more photos before kneeling down to pet Max's back. "Hey, boy," he murmured, managing to divert Max's attention away from JJ and onto himself.

Otabek laughed as Max licked at his ear. Though he considered himself more of a cat person, he had a fondness for dogs as well. He buried his fingers in Max's soft fur, surrendering to the onslaught of the dog's over-enthusiastic affection as Max slobbered all over his face.

"Okay, I think that's about enough, Max," the tall woman said after a couple of minutes, again tugging on his leash to guide him away from Otabek. "Sorry again for bothering you. We didn't mean to interrupt your hike."

"Wait." JJ, who had risen back to his feet, reached for Otabek's hand, helping him back up. "Before you go, could I trouble one of you to take a quick photo of us?" he asked, brushing the dirt off the back of his jeans with his hands. "He's been snapping pictures of me all day, but I'd love to have one of us together."

"Oh, sure! Not a problem." The taller woman handed the leash over to her partner.

Otabek frowned. It may not have been a problem for her, but it certainly was a problem for him. He touched JJ's arm, lowering his voice so that only he could hear. "JJ..."

"You don't mind, do you?" He smiled brightly. "I know you're not the biggest fan of having your photo taken, but if you do me this one little favor, tonight I'll let you…" Bringing his mouth right next to Otabek's ear, JJ whispered the rest of his offer so the women wouldn't overhear.

Heat rose to Otabek's cheeks as he listened. What JJ was offering was something he had been wanting to try for a while, but JJ had never shown much interest in changing up their usual dynamic when it came to sex. "Are you sure? You'd really be willing to –"

"More than willing," JJ said, his low voice sending a pleasant shiver up Otabek's spine.

He swallowed hard, his voice hoarse as he croaked out an "Okay."

After a brief moment of hesitation, Otabek handed his camera over to the taller woman and gave her a short tutorial on how to operate it. He then joined JJ over by the railing, his heart pounding as JJ moved behind him and wrapped his arms around his midsection.

"Looking good," she said, taking a couple of steps back as she framed the photo in the viewfinder. "Maybe lose the hat, though? It's casting a lot of shadows on your faces."

"Oh...right." JJ loosened his hold on Otabek, reaching up to take off Alain's hat. "Didn't think about that," he said sheepishly.

Otabek held his breath as the Quebecois woman stepped forward, offering to hold both the hat and JJ's sunglasses while they took the picture. Without the beat-up cap or his Ray-Bans, JJ's disguise was blown, his handsome face on full display for all to see, but fortunately, neither of the women showed any sign of recognizing him as an up-and-coming star in the Canadian skating scene.

"Much better. Now, look this way," the taller woman said, once again raising the camera to the level of her eyes as JJ resumed embracing Otabek. "On the count of three… One...two...three…"

The camera clicked as she pressed the shutter, taking the photo.

"Did it come out okay?" Otabek asked.

"Yeah, you two look great together. Here, come check it out."

Not quite believing her, he walked over and took the camera from her hands. "Oh...it did turn out well," he murmured in surprise. In fact, it may have been one of Otabek's best photos ever, his usual grimace replaced by an actual real smile.

"Let me see, let me see!" JJ came up behind him, placing a hand on the small of Otabek's back as he looked over his shoulder at the photo on the screen. "Hey, that is pretty good! Send it to my phone later?"

"Yeah, sure."

By that time, a restless Max had grown tired of sitting patiently, barking and jumping around the bridge. The Quebecois woman laughed, handing JJ back his things. "Okay, okay, we're going! Just a minute," she said. "Well, it was nice meeting you two. I hope you enjoy the rest of the hike."

"Yeah, it was great to meet you, too," JJ said, slipping Alain's hat back over his hair. "And thanks for taking that photo." He shook hands with the taller woman. "We really appreciate it."

"Don't mention it. Happy to help!"

Though he had spent almost the entire afternoon snapping pictures on their hike through the conservation area, Otabek couldn't resist pulling out his camera and taking even more when they returned to their campsite shortly before another "golden hour" approached.

He'd forgotten how much of a rush it was to chase after the perfect lighting. Even when taking a picture of the somewhat static scenery, no moment was ever truly the same. Shadows shifted and colors changed, the waning light of day bouncing off the various shades of greens and browns surrounding them as the sun dipped below the canopy of trees. Much like when he was on the ice, skating one of his programs, Otabek lost himself in his photography, focusing solely on capturing the beauty of the campsite.

After a while, however, a savory aroma tickled at his nose, Otabek's stomach rumbling from hunger.

He turned his attention toward the picnic table, setting his camera's viewfinder on JJ. Since Otabek had cooked dinner the night before, JJ had insisted on being in charge of preparing tonight's meal, electing to use the propane gas camping stove instead of the fire to cook. Humming softly to himself, he poured a cup of milk into a small Dutch oven and stirred it into the white bean chili he was making. A soft breeze tousled his dark hair, the sunlight giving his lightly tanned skin an attractive golden glow.

Otabek clicked down on the shutter, preserving the memory.

"Enjoying yourself?" JJ asked, looking up from the simmering pot and smiling.

"Um, yeah." He walked over, joining JJ at the picnic table. "Sorry, I should have helped out with dinner," he said, feeling guilty for leaving the cooking all up to JJ.

JJ waved a dismissive hand. "No need. It's a pretty simple recipe. I could use a taste-tester, though."

"Yeah?" Otabek set his camera down on the table. "It smells delicious."

"Well, let's hope it tastes as delicious as it smells. Here." JJ scooped up a spoonful of the steaming white bean chili and carefully brought it to Otabek's mouth, holding his free hand underneath in case any of it spilled. "Careful, it's hot."

Otabek blew on the chili a couple of times to cool it down, then allowed JJ to feed it to him. A pleasant warmth flowed through his body, yet the combination of navy beans, various peppers, onions, and sweet corn tasted just light enough to still feel appropriate for the late summer weather. "Mmm, it's good!"

"You think? Does it maybe need some more green chilis, or –"

He shook his head. "Don't change a thing. It tastes great exactly as is."

"Good," JJ said, sighing in relief. He reached for one of the bowls sitting beside the stove. "Sit down. I'll fix you a bowl. Do you want any kind of toppings? I've got cheese, sour cream, cilantro –"

Otabek made a face as he slid onto the bench attached to the picnic table. "No cilantro."

"Ah, you've got the gene that makes it taste like soap, huh? Papa and Madi have that, too."

"I'm just not a fan." Leo kept trying to get him to like it while they were dating, but cilantro was far too bitter for Otabek's liking. "Is the sour cream halal?" Most were, but some brands used ingredients that were not.

"Yeah, Maman always makes certain to check when buying groceries. Want some?"

"Not too much. Just a little."

"Can do!" After filling the bowl with the chili, JJ plopped a dollop of sour cream on top. "Here you go," he said, setting the steaming bowl in front of Otabek. "Water?"

"Yeah, thanks."

After preparing his own bowl – and garnishing it with a generous helping of shredded cheese and cilantro – JJ reached down and grabbed a couple of bottles of ice cold water from the cooler at his feet. He handed one to Otabek and kept the other for himself, taking a seat beside Otabek on the bench.

"You know, for someone who claims to prefer taking photos of landscapes rather than people, you sure have taken a lot of pictures of me today." He nodded toward Otabek's camera.

Shrugging, Otabek twisted the cap off the bottle and took a large sip of water. "I guess I do enjoy taking photos of certain people…"

"Yeah?" JJ grinned. "Does that mean I'm special?"

"You know you are," he replied softly, stirring the sour cream into his chili.

"How special?"

"JJ…"

"Tell me," he insisted, lightly bumping his shoulder against Otabek's. "A guy likes to feel appreciated every once in a while, you know."

Otabek rolled his eyes. As if JJ's head wasn't already big enough as it was. Still… This could be a chance to redo that moment on the bridge, before they had been interrupted by Max and his owners. It perhaps wasn't as romantic of a setting, lacking the breathtaking views of the Elora Gorge spread out before them, but did it really matter where he said it in the grand scheme of things? All that truly mattered was letting JJ know how much he meant to him.

"So special, that I… Um…"

"Yeah?"

Otabek's cheeks warmed under JJ's expectant stare. There were so many reasons why JJ was special to him, it was difficult to put into words. He loved the way JJ always believed in him, often having more confidence in him than he did himself, and he loved how JJ often surprised him, doing things like arranging for his musical idol to play his favorite song or suggesting they go on this camping trip, simply because JJ knew it was something he would enjoy. He loved the kindness and generosity hidden beneath JJ's brash exterior, and he even adored JJ's cockiness, which Otabek didn't consider true cockiness anyway, since he had every reason to think so highly of himself and his abilities.

But most of all, he simply loved Jean-Jacques Leroy – mind, body, and soul.

So, of course when it was time to actually say the words aloud, to declare his feelings to the man he loved, Otabek blurted out, "Have you ever done any modeling?" instead.

What the fuck?

JJ blinked at the sudden change in topic. "What? Like, professionally?"

"Y-Yeah."

The moment had already passed. He might as well act like that was what he had intended to say all along. In any case, JJ was certainly handsome enough to be a model in Otabek's eyes. Photogenic, too.

"For competition promos and a few sponsorship ads, yeah, if that counts," JJ said with a shrug, taking a bite of his chili. "Oh, that reminds me, yesterday when I went to the final fitting for my free program costume, Mrs. Bychenko asked if I would be interested in modeling some costumes for her new website. She's starting a line of ready-to-wear costumes and practice outfits."

"Oh? Are you going to do it?"

"I said I would if she asked you to do it, too."

Otabek nearly choked on a spoonful of chili, coughing as he pounded on his chest with his fist.

"Hey, are you okay?" JJ asked, alarmed.

"Yeah." He took a long sip of his water, then cleared his throat. "Anyway, are you joking?"

"About the modeling gig? No, I'm 100% serious."

Otabek groaned, bringing a hand to his forehead. "JJ… I can't be a model! You know how much I hate having my photo taken. They always come out terrible."

"It's fine! You looked great in that photo we took on the bridge together."

That had been a fluke, a trick of the light or something. Otabek still had no idea how the photo had come out so well. "I guess, but –"

"Besides, the focus will be on the costumes, not your face," JJ said. "The majority of the photos will be from the head down, so you don't have to worry."

"Well, what about my height?"

"What about it?"

"I may be going through a growth spurt, but I'm still not anywhere near tall enough to be a model," Otabek pointed out.

"Beka, this isn't some high fashion photo shoot. We'll just be modeling figure skating costumes for a local designer's website. Most of the clientele she's aiming for is probably closer to your size than mine, anyway."

"Maybe so, but –"

"Come on, it'll be fun! Aren't you interested in seeing a pro photographer in action, up close and personal? Maybe you could even ask them a few questions during downtime."

"I...don't know." He had to admit, the chance to talk with a real professional piqued his interest. Otabek's skill with the camera had been mainly self-taught, pieced together from library books and random tutorials he found online. He still had a lot to learn when it came to picking out lenses and finding the right settings to get the kind of photos he wanted.

"We'll get paid for our time, too, of course," JJ said. "Fifty dollars an hour, plus lunch. Not bad for an afternoon, eh? Weren't you saying on the drive up here you wanted to save up for a motorcycle? Every little bit helps!"

Dammit, the money was nice. His parents would never in a million years agree to buy him a motorcycle, so if he ever wanted to own one, he would need to earn the money himself – hard to do when skating and his schoolwork left him no time to get a part-time job. The chance to make a couple hundred dollars just by standing around in costume and getting his photo taken was almost too good to pass up.

And if the photos really were only from the neck down...

"Okay, okay, fine," Otabek said, sighing. "I'll think about it."

JJ smiled. "Great!"

After they finished dinner, Otabek washed the dishes while JJ cleaned the camping stove. Once everything was cleared away and leftovers properly disposed of so they wouldn't attract any wild animals looking for a free meal, they moved back to sitting around the campfire, JJ bringing his backpack and his guitar case with him. He set the guitar on the ground, but kept the bag on his lap as he took a seat in his chair.

"Time for dessert!" he announced as Otabek tossed a few pieces of kindling onto the fire.

"Dessert?" Otabek looked up, his brow furrowed. "But we didn't bring any." At least, not to his knowledge. JJ had helped, but he had packed most of the food they brought.

"I may have snuck some stuff into my bag when you weren't paying attention," he confessed, unzipping the main compartment of the backpack. "Tell me, have you ever tried a s'more before?"

Otabek shook his head. "We don't really have them in Kazakhstan, but I've heard of them before. They're...some sort of campfire treat made with marshmallows?"

"Ding-ding-ding!" Triumphantly, JJ pulled out a bag of large marshmallows, slightly squished, and a box of graham crackers. "I brought everything we need to make them."

"What about chocolate?" Otabek was fairly certain chocolate was one of the ingredients – the most important ingredient, in his humble, uneducated opinion. "You need to have chocolate, too, right?"

"Don't worry, got that, too!" He set aside the graham crackers and marshmallows to unzip another pocket on his backpack and slipped out a couple of Hershey's chocolate bars like they were contraband. "Why don't you go get the skewers? I'll start getting everything set up over here."

Serious, responsible skater Otabek would have protested, insisting that he was already much too full from dinner and couldn't eat another bite. He was almost certain s'mores were not among the healthy snacks allowed on their diet plan. But since he wasn't supposed to be thinking about his skating this weekend… Well, his indulgent, more rebellious side won out.

"Okay."

Otabek got up and grabbed a couple of metal skewers from the box of cooking essentials they had packed. When he returned, JJ had placed several graham crackers broken in half on top of a sheet of foil he had laid out on the small folding table beside him, half of them covered with squares of chocolate.

"Here." He handed the skewers to JJ, then sat back down.

"Thanks." JJ took one of the large, less misshapened marshmallows out of the bag on his lap and speared it with the prongs at the end of the skewer. "Now, everybody likes their marshmallows roasted a different way," he explained, shaking the skewer in Otabek's direction. "I may have never properly gone camping before this trip, but I have made my fair share of s'mores over the years. It's one of our favorite activities when we light the fireplace in winter. Pip? He likes his burnt to a crisp. He'll just stick the marshmallow into the flame, let it catch fire, and quickly blow it out before Papa accuses him of trying to burn the house down. Madi, on the other hand, hates getting her hands sticky, so she tends to toast hers very lightly."

"And you?" Otabek asked. "How do you like to roast yours?

"Glad you asked!" Grinning, JJ extended his skewer so that the marshmallow was only a short distance away from the fire. "There's no wrong way to roast a marshmallow, but my way is obviously the best way. The secret is to slowly turn the skewer while you hold it, like this," he said, demonstrating as he continued talking. "You want to get a nice, even toast all the way around until the marshmallow is a beautiful golden brown. That way, you ensure the inside is all warm and gooey without the bitterness of burning the outside like Pip does. Here, give it a whirl."

He handed the skewer over to Otabek.

"You can get it a little closer than that," he said, reaching over and guiding Otabek's hand until the marshmallow at the end of the skewer was only a few centimeters away from the dancing flames. "Make sure to move it around so that you roast all the sides evenly."

Otabek slowly turned the handle of the skewer in his hand. Already, he could see the outside of the marshmallow beginning to toast, white becoming more of a light brown. "Like this?"

"Yeah, you've got it! Just twist it around a few more times, and it should be done."

Doing as he was instructed, Otabek kept turning the skewer until almost the entire marshmallow had browned. "Does this look okay?" he asked, pulling the marshmallow away from the fire to inspect it. There were a few dark specks around the edges that looked slightly burnt, but overall, Otabek thought he had done a decent enough job, especially considering it was his first time.

"Yeah, it looks great!" JJ reached for two of the graham crackers – one of them covered with three squares of a Hershey's bar – then sandwiched the marshmallow in between them, carefully sliding it off the skewer. "Bon appétit!" he said, taking the skewer from Otabek's hand and replacing it with the constructed s'more. "Go on, give it a try. You're going to love it!"

That's what he had claimed about poutine, too… But anything with chocolate was bound to be good.

Otabek's eyes widened as soon as he took his first bite, the marshmallow and chocolate melting together in his mouth in a combination that was both sweet and smoky. He didn't even mind the crappy Hershey's milk chocolate which he usually only tolerated if there were no better options around to get his chocolate fix. "So good," he moaned, his mouth still filled with gooey goodness.

JJ, who had begun roasting another marshmallow, grinned. "I knew you would like it!"

"I do," Otabek said after he finished swallowing. "May I have another?"

"You can have as many as you want. I brought plenty of crackers and chocolate." He handed Otabek the other skewer. "Here, have at it!"

Three more delicious s'mores later, Otabek was absolutely stuffed. He rubbed at his stomach as JJ cleaned off the skewers and put them away, fearing returning back home and seeing the numbers on the scale. He didn't usually let himself indulge as he had, but what did an additional pound or two matter anyway? If he didn't get his jumps back soon, his season would end up a wash before it even began.

Dammit. He had done a good job up until then of following Nathalie's advice and not worrying about his skating. After the hike, he and JJ had done some of the off-ice training exercises Alain had recommended, but it wasn't the same as actually being out on the ice.

It's only one weekend, he reminded himself with a heavy sigh, tossing the last piece of wood into the fire. The flames, which had begun to weaken, reignited, the wood cackling as it burned.

One more day of practice wasn't going to magically fix all his issues and get him landing triple axels and quad salchows again. At this point, with his first competition only a couple of weeks away, all he could really do was continue to follow the Leroys' training plan and try his best at his two Junior Grand Prix assignments, giving up on any aspirations of qualifying for the Final. With any luck, his stupid growth spurt would end soon and his jumps would be back in full force by Junior Worlds, better than ever, just like what had happened with JJ last season.

And if not… Well...

"Hey, what's knocking around in that beautiful brain of yours?" JJ asked, squatting down in front of Otabek and startling him from his bitter thoughts.

"W-What?"

"You're knotting your brows again." As he had done that time at the bus stop, JJ pressed a fingertip in between Otabek's furrowed eyebrows. "Something on your mind?"

"No, I…" Otabek gave him a small smile, not wanting JJ to worry about him. Tonight was their last night alone together before they had to return to the real world; his worries about his skating could wait until they returned home. "It's nothing important," he said. "Do you need any more help cleaning up?"

"No, I'm all done, which reminds me…" He held up the remaining quarter of a chocolate bar. "Want the last bit of this chocolate? We had it left over, but it's really not worth saving such a small piece."

Otabek shook his head. "I think I've had enough chocolate for one night."

He arched an eyebrow. "You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Suit yourself." JJ stood back up, landing a peck on the spot he had poked earlier, and finished off the rest of the chocolate bar by himself. He then wiped his hands on his T-shirt and grabbed his nearby guitar out of its case, settling into the chair beside Otabek. "So, any special requests?" he asked, strumming a few simple chords to tune up. "'Stand By Me' is always a classic…"

As much as Otabek liked the Ben E. King hit, there was another song he wanted JJ to play even more. "You know what song I want to hear," he said, turning to face JJ as he curled up in his camp chair, arms wrapped around his knees.

"Really? That one again? I'm still struggling –"

"I don't care. Play it."

JJ chuckled. "Your wish is my command."

He began playing the familiar chords, his beautiful baritone voice joining in after a few measures. "Nobody knows how you make me feel..."

Otabek closed his eyes and relaxed, letting the music wash over him.

JJ's fingering had improved quite a lot since the first time he attempted to play the song for him. He was no Nick Sanderson, of course, and he messed up yet again on the part that always gave him trouble – the tricky chords were difficult for someone without Nick's godlike guitar skills – but none of that mattered. The passion and the emotion he imbued in playing the song more than covered up any minor technical deficiencies, and his voice was as gorgeous as ever, touching Otabek down to his very core.

"Then everyone will know you are mine," JJ sang as the song neared its end, his voice going into a light falsetto over the final melancholic chords, "You and I, together until the end of time..."

"So, how was it?" he asked, setting his guitar down beside his chair. "I know I messed up on the riff again, but seriously, that thing is next to impossi–"

"You were amazing," Otabek assured him. "Thank you. I loved it." Leaning forward and putting his feet back on the ground, he kissed JJ on the lips. "I love you."

It was only when JJ's grey-blue eyes widened that Otabek realized what he had just said. He pulled back as if he had accidentally touched a hot burner on the stove, his heart pounding against his ribcage.

Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! That wasn't the way he had wanted to say it for the first time, just blurting the words out with no warning. And, worse, JJ had yet to even say anything in response, still staring at him as if he had suddenly started speaking in tongues.

Oh, God, had he made the same mistake Samantha had made? He told Leo that it was too soon to say it, but he had let himself get swept up in the romance of a weekend alone with JJ, thinking he surely felt the same. The way he had talked about wanting to visit each other's hometowns in the future… And how JJ had indulged in several moments of public displays of affection on their hike, even if it had been while he was safely in disguise…

Had he completely misread the signs?

"Um, it's okay. You don't have to say it back if you're not ready yet," Otabek said, sitting back in his chair and avoiding looking in JJ's direction. "I mean, we've only been dating for a few weeks, so –"

"I love you, too."

"What?" His head jerked back up, not believing his ears. "Did you just say –"

"I love you, too, Beka," JJ repeated, his face relaxing into a soft smile.

"You do?"

"Of course I do." He stood up, reaching for a dumbfounded Otabek's hands and pulling him to his feet. "I have, for a while now," he said tenderly. "I've been wanting to tell you, too, but... I don't know. I guess I've been too much of a coward to put my feelings into words."

"A coward?" Otabek could describe JJ in many words, but "coward" was not one of them – well, except maybe when it came to cats. But in nearly every other aspect of his life, JJ was full of confidence and bravado, thinking nothing of trying high-level quads or tubing down the Grand River.

"I'm not brave like you," he insisted. "You're never afraid to be your authentic self. It's one of the things I love best about you, but me… I'm supposed to be King JJ, you know? People have this idea of me, and I want to live up to their expectations –"

"– but falling in love with another guy doesn't fit your image?"

JJ sighed, dropping his shoulders. "Yeah. I guess a part of me felt like it would be wrong to tell you how I felt in private if I wasn't also willing to declare my love for you in public, like I didn't deserve that right."

"JJ, you're not a coward for being afraid to come out." Otabek squeezed JJ's hands, staring him straight in the eye. "You're not. I won't lie and say I don't wish things could be different, but you're protecting yourself, and you're protecting me, too. Like you've said before, we don't know what would happen if your parents found out about us."

"I know… Believe me, I want people to know about us. I want to shout it from the rooftops that I'm head-over-heels in love with a gorgeous, talented guy, and he's made me happy in ways I never dared to imagine…" He shook his head. "I just can't. Not right now."

"It's okay. Take all the time you need. I'll be here waiting," Otabek promised.

"I really don't deserve you…" JJ murmurred.

"JJ…"

The flames of the campfire cast flickering shadows over the chiseled features of JJ's face. Otabek reached up, cupping JJ's head in between his hands and tracing the contours of his cheekbones with his thumbs. He still couldn't quite believe it, that Jean-Jacques Leroy was really in love with him. When he had first made the decision to move to Toronto to train with the Leroys, he never imagined something like this would happen. All he had cared about was getting the coaching he needed to push his skating to the next level. Love hadn't been on his radar, not really, and especially not with the Leroys' golden boy son, but despite the rough patch he was going through with his growth spurt, Otabek had never been happier in his life.

Reaching up, JJ covered one of Otabek's hands with his own, turning his head to the side so that he could kiss the inside of Otabek's wrist. A small shockwave traveled up his arm, JJ's every touch as electrifying as his very first, that day at the airport when they shook hands.

Like two magnets drawn together, they moved closer, Otabek wrapping his arms around JJ's neck. JJ leaned forward, and Otabek bridged the small gap between them, rising slightly on his toes to kiss JJ softly on the lips.

JJ's hands moved to rest on Otabek's hips, a low moan vibrating in his mouth as the kissed deepened. He pulled Otabek even closer toward him, so close that he didn't even have to look downwards to notice that JJ was already getting hard. Letting out a gasp, Otabek's mouth trailed down to trace JJ's jawline, the tiny hairs of his five o'clock shadow ticklish against his cheek.

"Beka...Beks…" JJ inhaled a sharp breath as Otabek's lips latched onto his neck, lightly sucking at his skin. "Oh, God… That feels…"

Otabek's hands slid down from JJ's broad shoulders, traveling down the front of his T-shirt. The firmness of his abdominal muscles was evident even through the soft cotton fabric. When he reached the bottom hem, Otabek began tugging it upwards, JJ quickly getting the hint. He helped Otabek pull his T-shirt all the way up and over his head, then tossed it in the direction of their abandoned camp chairs.

"Your turn," JJ said, reaching for the bottom of Otabek's shirt.

Otabek had no objections, lifting up his arms and allowing JJ to strip it off. There was a slight chill in the air now that the sun had set, but the nearby fire kept it mostly at bay, his bared skin heating up even more when JJ wrapped his arms around him and kissed him once again, more passionately than before. Desire ignited within Otabek, and his hands wandered even lower, unfastening the top button of JJ's jeans and tugging at the zipper of his fly.

"You know, I haven't forgotten my promise," JJ said in a low voice, his mouth right next to Otabek's ear.

"Yeah?" Otabek looked up at JJ's face and licked at his lips, his heart pounding in his chest. He had never really intended to hold JJ to his promise, but if it was something he was truly interested in exploring… "Are you sure? I mean, it's okay if you –"

"I'm a man of my word." Smiling, JJ pulled Otabek's hands away from his fly. "Come on, let's continue this inside," he said, entwining their fingers together instead and pulling him in the direction of the tent. "It'll be more comfortable in there."

"Hey, sleepyhead," JJ crooned, lightly scratching the back of Otabek's head. "Good morning."

Otabek, not quite ready to get up, kept his eyes closed and buried his face in JJ's shoulder. "Mmm… Mornin'."

"Come on, time to wake up." Gently, JJ pulled his arm out from underneath Otabek and sat up, reaching for his nearby backpack.

"Already?" Against his body's protests, Otabek woke up a little more, lifting up his head and rubbing the sleep out of his right eye as he watched JJ pull a clean T-shirt over his head. "What time is it?"

"Around seven."

It was later than they usually got up to get ready for practice, yet he felt like he had barely gotten any rest at all. Otabek's head dropped back down to his pillow, pulling the sleeping bag up to his bare shoulders in response to losing the warmth of JJ's body heat."We can sleep in a little while longer, can't we? I thought we weren't picking up Camille and Christian until around ten."

"Change of plans. There's a storm coming," JJ announced, unzipping his side of the sleeping bag and wincing a little as he pulled on a pair of jeans. "I saw the alert on my phone as soon as I woke up. It's supposed to be a bad one, with possible flash floods. Though it'll take a few hours before it hits this way, it's probably a good idea to start packing up and head out before it gets too nasty." After zipping up his fly, he crawled over to Otabek's bag sitting in the corner and grabbed some clothes out of it at random. "Here, there's no time to shower. Get dressed," he said, tossing the clothes over to Otabek. "I already texted Cami and said we'd pick them up around eight or so."

Otabek groaned, fighting back a yawn as he forced himself to sit back up. "Yeah, you're probably right…"

That didn't mean he had to like it. Damn Mother Nature. Couldn't the storm have waited until after they got back home?

"I'll start gathering our stuff outside," JJ said, opening the mesh door at the entrance of the tent. "Why don't you roll up the sleeping bags and get everything together in here?"

"Sure."

Otabek sighed, reaching for his boxers as JJ exited the tent. So much for enjoying their last few hours of solitude together. At least they had sponged off the evidence of their nightly activities before going to bed last night, but it would be nice to have a warm shower back at the house. Maybe if they beat the Leroys home, JJ could join him...

He was in the middle of getting dressed when he heard a ping from his cell.

No, wait, his phone was still turned off. The sound had to have come from JJ's. Otabek looked around, spotting it laying near JJ's pillow.

He pulled down his T-shirt and reached for the phone. Was it another weather alert? Maybe the storm was coming even earlier than first predicted – or maybe they had canceled the warning altogether. He could only hope. JJ's phone was locked, but previews of text messages were still visible in the notifications. Otabek swiped down to check the latest notification, a gasp escaping his lips when he saw Isabella's name as the contact.

"Hey, Beka…" JJ called from outside.

Heart pounding, he quickly put the phone to sleep and placed it back where he had found it. "Y-Yeah?"

"I've seem to have misplaced my cell again." He poked his head back through the flap. "Have you seen it anywhere?"

"Um, yeah." Otabek reached for the cell again, crawling over to hand it back to him. "Here. You left it behind."

"Thanks! Don't know what I would have done if I had lost it."

"I think you just got a text or something. I heard it ping a couple of minutes ago."

"Yeah?" JJ checked the notification, his eyes widening slightly before he put the phone in his pocket without replying.

"Who was it?" Otabek asked, attempting to keep his tone light and casual. He hadn't had a chance to actually read Isabella's message, after all; maybe there was a perfectly innocent and logical reason why JJ's ex-girlfriend had contacted him.

"Oh, uh, that was Cami texting back," JJ said. "She and Chris just woke up, but they should be ready to go by the time we get to the hotel."

"Oh...good."

Otabek clenched his hands into fists. Liar.

"Anyway, back to work! As soon as you're finished in here, I'll help you take the tent down."

"Okay," he said softly, turning back around and reaching for his nearby bag. "It shouldn't take too long. I'll be out in a few minutes."

They managed to get everything packed and loaded back into the bed of the truck in record time.

Claiming he was still tired from the early wake-up call, Otabek pretended to sleep during most of the short drive to the hotel where Camille and her partner were staying. JJ didn't question it, thoughtfully turning down the radio and keeping quiet as he drove into town.

By the time they arrived at the Elora Mill Hotel & Spa, storm clouds were already forming in the early morning sky, a few drops of rain splatting against the windshield as JJ pulled into the parking lot. "Marde," he muttered under his breath. "Hope the worst keeps away until after we get back home. I hate driving in the rain."

Camille and Christian were waiting for them, huddled together underneath the covered area outside the hotel's entrance with their luggage stacked beside them. She waved as they pulled up, her boyfriend opening a white umbrella emblazoned with the hotel's logo. Keeping her shielded from the light sprinkle, Christian quickly escorted her to the back driver's side door and helped her climb inside before going back for their suitcases.

"Hey, good morning. You made it," Camille said.

"Alive and in one piece," JJ quipped. "Told you there was nothing to worry about. I hope we didn't keep you waiting long."

"Oh, no, not at all. We just finished checking out a few minutes ago. Geez, this storm really came out of nowhere, eh? When I checked the weather forecast right before we left on Friday, it said we were supposed to have sunny skies all weekend long."

"I know, right?" Opening his door, JJ stuck out his head. "Hey, Chris, you need any help out there?"

"Nah, I got it," Christian called out, even as he struggled to keep the umbrella over his head with the crook of his arm while carrying a bag over his shoulder and dragging two rolling suitcases behind him.

Camille sighed. "That boy! I told him I would help with the luggage, but he insisted on being all chivalrous."

"Um, I'll go help," Otabek offered, eager to put some distance between him and JJ, even if it was only for a couple of minutes. Every time he even glanced JJ's way, his blood boiled as he remembered the blatant lie he had told, covering up whatever the hell was going on between him and Isabella.

Otabek hopped out of the truck before JJ could stop him, pulling his Team Kazakhstan jacket over his head as a makeshift umbrella as he jogged over to Christian. "Here, give me one of those," he said, taking one of the suitcases, along with the umbrella, which he used to cover the both of them as they walked over to the back of the truck.

"My hero," Christian fake-swooned, complete with batting eyelashes. "Seriously, though, thanks, man." He popped opened the tailgate, shoving the shoulder bag inside the bed of the truck. "I was trying to be all suave and shit, but I guess I overestimated how much I could carry at one time."

"No problem." Otabek pushed down the handle on the suitcase and lifted it up, pushing it underneath the bed cover. "Happy to help."

Upon returning to the front cab, JJ presented him with a small package of tissues. "To dry off with," he said in response to Otabek's furrowed eyebrows. "Sorry, all the towels are in the back, so that was the best I could find in here."

"Oh...thanks." Otabek accepted the tissues, quickly glancing away. He hadn't gotten too wet, but he took a couple out of the package and used them to wipe away some of the water on his face and jacket.

In the backseat, Camille was doing the same to Christian, using a floral-print handkerchief. "You silly, silly man!" she lightly scolded as JJ put the truck back in drive and pulled out of the parking lot. "You should have let me help. It's not like it's raining that hard yet."

"I know, I know," he said. "I just didn't want you to get wet...at least, not in these circumstances." He wiggled his eyebrows at the innuendo.

"Chris!" She playfully swatted him with the handkerchief. "There are minors present. Behave." After putting the handkerchief back in her purse, she sat forward, placing her hands on the back of JJ's seat. "So, how did the camping trip go? Did you two have a good time?"

"Yeah, it was fantastic! Thanks again for helping us out. I know we put you in a tight spot, asking you to lie to my parents and all…"

"It's fine. Chris and I needed an excuse to get away from it all, too. In fact, we kinda have some big news to share…"

Camille's left hand poked through the gap between the front seats. They both turned to look at it, JJ's eyes widening when he saw a beautiful marquis-cut diamond solitaire ring adorning her finger.

"You guys got engaged?"

"Yeah, figured it was about time to stop living in sin and finally make an honest woman out of her," Christian said.

"Oh, please!" Camille rolled her eyes as she pulled back her hand and sat back to fasten her seat belt. "I don't care at all about that," she said, reaching for Christian's hand. "The only thing that matters is that I get to spend the rest of my life with the person I love."

"I can't wait." He brought the back of her hand to his lips for a kiss, love and adoration shining in his light green eyes.

Feeling a knot form in the pit of his stomach, Otabek turned back around. At least the weekend had a happy ending for one couple...

"Congratulations!" JJ exclaimed. "That's awesome. I'm so happy for you guys."

"Yeah, congrats," Otabek echoed, hoping he sounded sufficiently enthused. After all, it wasn't their fault his love life was most likely falling apart.

"So, have you given any thought about the wedding yet?" JJ asked.

"We're thinking maybe next summer, back home in Montreal. Chris is of the opinion we should just elope, but I guess a part of me is still that little girl who has always wanted a big, beautiful church wedding with all our family and friends…"

Otabek mostly tuned out of the conversation, resting his forehead against the rain-spattered glass. Thankfully, with the other three wrapped up in discussing wedding plans, possible honeymoon locations, and how to break the news to Uncle Louis that his daughter was marrying a lapsed Baptist without giving him a heart attack – Christian again brought up the idea of elopement – nobody really noticed he wasn't talking much, content to leave him be.

Outside, the storm continued to grow stronger. The sky became nothing but gray clouds, rumbles of thunder accompanying the flashes of lightning streaking in the distance. The windshield wipers could barely up with the rain pelting down on them, impacting visibility so much that JJ drove past Camille's apartment building at first pass, having to circle back around the neighborhood to drop them off.

"Why don't you two come up for a while, wait out the storm?" Camille suggested while Christian, with his denim jacket pulled over his head, braved the heavy downpour to grab their luggage from the back of the truck. "Chris can make us some lunch. Trust me, his frittatas are amazing. Half the reason I'm marrying him, honestly."

"Thanks, but I really just want to go home, take a nice, hot shower, and lay down for a nap," Otabek said before JJ had a chance to take her up on the offer. No matter how delicious the meal, the last thing he felt like doing at the moment was spending even more time with the happily engaged couple. "We didn't get much sleep last night."

JJ glanced over at him, arching an eyebrow, but went along with it. "Yeah, there's no telling how long the storm will last, so we should probably just head back to the house before it gets even worse," he said. "Besides, I'm sure you guys would like to celebrate some more without us cramping your style."

"Are you sure?" Camille asked. "We really don't mind at all. It's no trouble."

"Yeah, we'll be fine."

"Okay, but text me as soon as you get home to let me know you got there all right. Remember, if anything happens to you two, I'm the one your parents are going to blame."

"Will do," JJ promised as she opened the door and popped open her umbrella, joining Christian in the rain. "Bye, and congrats again!"

"Thanks. Drive safe!"

With a wave goodbye, they huddled together underneath Camille's umbrella and raced to the entrance of the building. JJ waited until the two of them were safely inside before pulling back into traffic.

"Hey, are you feeling okay?" he asked while they waited at the stoplight at the end of the street.

Otabek lifted up his head. "What?"

"You've been acting kinda weird all morning. I mean, you've never really been the talkative type, but..."

"Yeah, I'm fine," he lied. "Like I said, I'm just tired, that's all."

JJ grinned. "I guess we did stay up rather late last night."

Otabek forced a small smile to his face. "Yeah."

He again rested his head against the window pane as JJ turned up the volume on the radio, bopping his head along to the music.

Neither of them said much of anything on the drive back to the house. They needed to talk about Isabella, but every time Otabek opened his mouth to bring up the subject, the words refused to come, his throat clamming up. Maybe it would be better to forget I ever saw that text, he thought. Last night had been so amazing, the happiest Otabek had ever been. More than anything, he wanted to hold onto that feeling, to live in blissful ignorance and continue believing in the words they had professed to each other under the starry sky, but…

No, he had to know the truth. If something really was going on between JJ and Isabella, then better he find out sooner rather than later.

Otabek inhaled a deep breath, building up every ounce of courage he possessed before finally asking, "Why did you lie to me?"

JJ had to keep his attention on the road due to the heavy rain, but his eyes briefly flicked over to Otabek, his eyebrows furrowed. "Beka? What are you talking –?"

"The text you got this morning," he interrupted before JJ could finish the question."It wasn't from Camille. I saw. It was from Isabella, wasn't it?"

JJ drew in a sharp breath, but he didn't deny it.

"I… Yeah, um, we've texted a few times since she dropped that present off at my party." He rubbed the back of his neck. "It's not that big a deal, though. We're friends, that's all. You still talk to Leo, right?"

"I do, but I never hid that from you. You knew from the start we were still friendly. But you..." Otabek clenched his hands into fists in his lap. "You never mentioned you and Isabella were talking again. You wanted to hide it, because you felt guilty. Because you still have feelings for her."

"That's not –"

"Was it her? Was she the one you were talking to that night – the 'friend' who texted you to wish you a happy birthday?"

"… Yeah," JJ admitted hoarsely after a long moment of hesitation.

Otabek turned to look out the window, his eyes burning from the tears he refused to shed. So, right before they went "all the way" for the very first time, JJ had been happily texting on the phone with his ex-girlfriend? Who did that? Who…? He pressed his lips together, swallowing hard. Had JJ thought of her when he was with him, pretended that it was her body he had entered instead of his? Had he been nothing more than a replacement for Isabella Yang, someone who would give JJ the one thing she would not?

"My birthday…" JJ licked at his lips. "That was the first time. I was really surprised when she came by the house to drop off my present. After the huge fight we had, I assumed Bella would never want to talk to me again. If she had simply wanted to give me the team photo, she could have just mailed it to me, but… Well, it was almost like old times again, you know? And so, when I texted her later that night to properly thank her for the gift..."

Otabek didn't want to hear any more.

"Have you seen her since then?" he demanded to know, whipping his head back around. "Have you… Have you kissed her?"

"No, of course not!" The truck swerved slightly to the right, crossing over into the shoulder of the road. "All we've done is text a few times, I swear," JJ said after righting the course. "I haven't even called her. You can check my call history if you don't believe me. Or read our texts." With eyes still focused on the road ahead of him, JJ blindly reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, thrusting it in Otabek's direction. "Here!"

"JJ…"

"Take it. I have nothing to hide."

Otabek stared at the phone in JJ's shaking hand. If he was so willing to hand it over, then there probably wasn't anything too damning in his texts to Isabella. Most likely, they had just talked about JJ's skating and her job at Lawton's. Maybe they had sent a couple of silly memes to each other. Still…

"Fine."

He took the phone from JJ, the screen coming to life when he accidentally hit the home button. JJ had set the photo they had taken together on the bridge as his lock screen wallpaper, cleverly cropped to disguise the fact that JJ had his arms wrapped around him in case anybody accidentally saw. Their happy, smiling faces beamed up at Otabek, stabbing him in the heart like a knife.

If only he could go back to that moment...

"My PIN is your birthday," JJ said, breaking Otabek from his thoughts.

"Oh...thanks."

His thumb hovered over the "1" on the screen, but he couldn't bring himself to tap it. Sighing, he put the phone back to sleep and placed it in one of the empty cup holders between them.

"Beka?"

"I know you didn't cheat on me," Otabek said, sitting back in his seat. "At least, not in the traditional sense of the word."

"I didn't, I swear!"

"But do you remember what you told me the day we officially became a couple, when I asked you about 'Rebecca'?" Not waiting for JJ to reply, he answered his own question. "You said even though you didn't physically cheat on Isabella, you still felt you were unfaithful to her in your heart because of your attraction to me. Is that…" He closed his eyes, taking a moment to calm himself before asking the question he didn't want to ask, but needed to know the answer to all the same. "Is that how you feel now? Is it the same situation?"

"Please…" JJ pleaded. "Let's not –"

"It's a simple question, JJ. Are you still in love with Isabella or not?"

"I…um… I..."

For once in his life, JJ was speechless, confirming what Otabek already knew – had known from the start, if he was completely honest with himself. After all, it wasn't as if JJ and Isabella had broken up because they had fallen out of love with each other. They had broken up due to a stupid slip of the tongue. If it wasn't for that, they would probably still be together…

Otabek swallowed, trying his best to maintain his composure even as his heart was breaking. "Do you love her more than me?"

"Beka...don't do this," JJ begged, his voice wavering. "Please…"

"Why not? Don't I have the right to know? Don't I deserve to know if my partner would rather be with someone else?"

"It doesn't matter. The past is the past. Bella's moved on, and so have I. I'm with you now."

Otabek scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yeah, you're with me, in private. But in public, I'm your dirty little secret."

"No, you're not!" Again, the truck jerked over into the shoulder of the road, the car driving behind them blasting its horn. "Is that what this is about?" JJ asked once he pulled back into the proper lane. "You want me to come out?"

"N-No, I…" He shouldn't have said that, especially not after JJ had been so vulnerable about his fears the night before. It had come out in the heat of the moment. "You should come out on your own terms, not just because you want to make me happy. It has to be what you want."

"Then what the hell do you want from me? Tell me. Do you want me to cut Bella out of my life forever? Done. I'll never see or speak to her again."

If only it was so simple. "Don't be ridiculous. You attend the same school and the same church. You can't avoid her forever."

"Then what else can I do? There has to be something."

"I…"

What he really and truly wanted was for JJ to assure him that he loved him more than anybody, that he was fully committed to their relationship and saw a future with the two of them together, no matter their current hardships, but...that would be a lie. JJ still loved Isabella; he had always loved Isabella. If one day she snapped her fingers and said she wanted him back, JJ would return to her side in a heartbeat, like a loyal dog following his master. "Never mind. Just forget about it," Otabek muttered, leaning his head against the rain-spattered passenger side window.

"Beka…"

Outside, the storm was still going strong, but it had let up enough that it was no longer such a struggle to see the road. Up ahead, an 18-wheeler sped down a side street, showing no signs of slowing down despite the stop sign at the intersection.

Otabek's head jerked back up. "JJ, watch –"

It was too late. Though JJ stomped on the breaks, the truck wasn't able to fully stop in time due to the rain-slick roads, the 18-wheeler crashing into the passenger side with a sickening crunch.

And then, the world…

...went black.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Heh, evil cliffhanger. But, good news! The last two chapters are mostly already written, so I'm hoping to have Chapter 13 ready to go in only one month instead of the usual two. I won't absolutely promise it will be done by then because I am going through some stuff in my personal life, but I'm definitely aiming to post it in early April if I can. Fingers crossed! (For both my writing speed and Otabek and JJ!)

An interesting fact: After mentioning the perfect score JJ received for his step sequence, I got curious and decided to look up if any real life juniors had ever gotten max 3 G.O.E (or 5, as is the current standard) for a step sequence. It turns out, only one junior has ever managed that feat: the reigning U.S. silver medalist (and beloved Pizza King) Andrew Torgashev, who managed that feat in his short program at the 2015 U.S. Junior Nationals (so not at an international competition, but still). So, JJ in this fic is really, really, REALLY good at step sequences! Helps having Olympic gold medal ice dancers for parents, I guess.