A Marriage that Started a Legend

by IJustShowedUp

Follows canon but with my own arranged marriage spin on it. What happens when Hunith makes a mistake and is forced on the run with her infant son? What happens when Camelot knights find her twenty years later? What happens when Arthur learns he's betrothed to a peasant boy? Will Merlin be able to stand among royalty? Will these two different boys survive each other? Review!

162. Chapter 164

Sir Lancelot, the fifth son of Lord Eldred of Northumbria was the fanciest name Lancelot had heard in all his life, and it didn't seem real to hear his name being attached to something that sounded so…noble. Something that spoke of grace and dignity, something that Lancelot most certainly didn't have at the moment, as his hand trembled around the noble seal Merlin had handed him. He still felt as if he was reeling, Merlin's intentions were practically written across his face and Lancelot felt as if he had to be the responsible one and put a stop to such a thing before it went too far. Even though it already felt like it had gone on far enough. Just holding these papers made Lancelot feel as if the guards would come racing in this very moment to arrest them both, and honestly…Lancelot wasn't sure how Merlin would be able to hold up in a jail cell. He had held his own against those knights, but there was something decidedly different about being locked behind bars. Lancelot hadn't made it ten years on his own only to end up cellmates with a boy he met practically five minutes ago. The same boy that made Lancelot feel as if he had to…protect him from himself if something like this was his go-to solution when he was faced with a problem…faced with Lancelot's problem.

"I already know exactly what you are thinking and I'm telling you right now that this isn't going to happen. I cannot take this nobility seal, present it in front of Camelot's prince as if he's not going to notice, and then pretend I'm this whole …son of Lord Eldred person." Lancelot immediately told Merlin before he could tell Lancelot anything about what he had came up with. The less that Lancelot knew about this, the less Merlin went with this, than the better. In fact, the two of them should probably just throw this shield into the fire as kindling and just pretend this entire thing had never happened. Lancelot wouldn't speak of this to anybody, and he hoped Merlin wouldn't be dumb enough to tell anybody the truth of what he was trying to do here. "I would be found out the very second I show up trying to be something that I'm not. You and I would both end up in a cell and I cannot allow you to get involved in something as serious as fraud."

Fraud was a word that sounded so dangerously ugly to Lancelot, who had not once in his entire life pretended to be something he wasn't. He had never felt the urge to hide who or what he was, a simple commoner with dreams he kept close to the vest simply because he didn't think others would understand how important or serious he was about his goals. He had thought Merlin could have understood him…there'd been no reason to hide what he wanted now that he's actually 'in' Camelot…but this clearly proved Merlin did not understand what it was he wanted to do. If he got caught with just these papers in his possession, even if he didn't use them, his entire future was going to go up in flames. With nowhere else to go, since his entire goal ended with him stopping and settling down within Camelot, he had been planning to stay. But he couldn't do that if he had a record for fraud against him. He wouldn't even be accepted as just a stable boy who shoveled horse manure all day long, once he got out of the jail cells. IF he got out of the jail cells…pretending to be a noble was a major crime that could result in an execution, depending on how serious the offense was.

"Oh, of course…I completely understand why you wouldn't want to do the one thing you can do that might get you into the knight's program." Merlin said in a pointed tone, but Lancelot frowned heavily. The comment had obviously been a dig towards him and how far he would be willing to go to become a Camelot knight, but there were just some lines that Lancelot couldn't cross. Because it was doing something like this that would mark him…mark him as a criminal and how could he look the real knights in the eye knowing he had lied and cheated just to get to where they were now. Where they had been born to be. "But just for the record, I really want to point out that Arthur's got his own issues going on right now, and I can assure you that I'm a pretty good distraction. It would be quite a long time before Arthur takes a second look, if he ever does, before finding fault in my work. Besides, I've been around here long enough to think I have a pretty good handle on how the nobles behave. So if the only reason you don't want to do this is because you can't pass as one, then the only thing you have to do is trust me when I say I can turn you into a noble. But…perhaps I was wrong and you don't really want to be a knight after all."

Lancelot blinked, and the paper in his hands was gone, his fingers twitching all around absolutely nothing. Merlin had just snatched it from him, as if he didn't care all the work he had put into making such a strong forgery had just turned into a waste by Lancelot snubbing his nose at it. But Merlin was now walking to the door, Lancelot's fake papers in his hand and…this wasn't what he had been expecting at all. His mouth was opening and closing in surprise…Lancelot had thought Merlin would protest more than that. He had been expecting one hell of a fight about this. Just walking away…it didn't feel as if it would be Merlin's style. And perhaps that should've been Lancelot's first clue that he was being played, but it wasn't.

"Of course I want to be a knight! It's…it's the only thing I've ever wanted for my entire life! You don't understand just how badly I want it, but doing this…this is wrong on so many levels Merlin! And for you to risk your freedom or your life if it got out that you had a hand in this…I can't let you be arrested just because if all of this is just for me. I'm not worth something like that." Lancelot exclaimed in a loud tone, bringing one hand to rest on his hip as he threw the other about in a frantic fashion, which made Merlin stop at the door. Lancelot was relieved, he could only imagine Merlin stumbling across the same knights who had tried to kill him in the woods, who would actually have legal claim to take him out as those papers would prove Merlin was involved in criminal activity. "And I really do not care how…close you are to the prince, or how much you think you know the man, or…what you might do to keep him distracted enough to overlook the truth, but…the rules are there for a reason. And what kind of man would I really be if I allowed yourself to ruin your life for me? What kind of man would I be if I actually went through with this?"

And that was probably the scariest thing about all of this, as far as Lancelot was concerned. He didn't even care that Merlin was so…brazen, about what he and Arthur did together, as if there was no shame in sleeping with a man that's married. Merlin was just so bloody confident that he could distract Arthur and keep him off their trail, but there was a major difference between sleeping with the Prince for his own reasons, and doing it to help Lancelot. Lancelot couldn't ask Merlin to do something like that. He couldn't allow Merlin's life to fall down into ruin just because he wanted to lend a helpful hand, and there was a thing about being too helpful. Being too helpful was what landed perfectly nice guys like Merlin in trouble.

Besides, Merlin might think he knew nobles because of his relationship toward the prince, but he certainly didn't know enough to turn Lancelot into a member of their club. Lancelot could hand over this seal, but real nobles would spot his lies a mile off. Lancelot wouldn't have called himself a bad liar if their situation called for it, but he didn't like lying. He didn't like pretending. It would be such a struggle going between Lancelot and Sir Lancelot, fifth son of Lord Eldred of Northumbria. He would have to constantly be aware of what he was doing and who he was trying to be…he would have to dress like them, and talk like them, and act like them. And after seeing those two knights in the woods…if that was how the other knights also behaved, then he didn't know how he was meant to behave like that. No. He absolutely REFUSED to behave like that. He just…he's afraid he might lose himself along the way if he went along with Merlin's awful plan. Oh sure, everything started with good intentions. But would Lancelot be overcome by the pressure crashing down on his shoulders as he continued to force himself into being something that he was…wasn't? Hell. It wouldn't have surprised Lancelot if those nobles smelt the peasant coming off him the very second he strode out onto the training field. It wasn't as if he even looked like a noble. Not with his unkept hair, straight as he tried to keep it, and worn out clothing…

"Uh, excuse me." Merlin drawled out, as he turned back around to face him, and Lancelot was surprised to see the scowl on Merlin's face. He didn't think he had ever seen the other boy looking so agitated with him, though they had only just met the day before, so what did Lancelot really know? "Just so we are clear on this, nobody 'allows me' to do anything. I'm doing this because I want to do this for you, and I am fully aware of the consequences if we get caught. I am prepared to go down with you. Because nobody who's been great, became great by not pushing back against what society deemed them as. Society has decided that people like us, the commoners, are the lowest of the low. Whose respect is zero to none. We're good enough to clean their clothes and stroke their fires, but not good enough to put our lives on the line and stand for this so called country? I don't think so. The only question I can think to ask, if you are willing to risk everything to prove to those snooty nobles that their…First Code of Camelot, is nothing more than a sham, is are you willing to join me?"

Lancelot's breath caught in his throat at those words, watching as Merlin was crossing his arms over his chest and cocking his hip to the side and giving him this 'I dare you to tell me I'm wrong' expression. And Merlin wasn't wrong…the wannabe knight has never heard of a famous person who didn't go outside the box to change things. If people hadn't done outspoken things to change what went on in the world, then…women would still be treated as nothing more than cattle. The darker skinned people would still be slaves, working underneath a hot sun with chains on their wrists and ankles. The people who liked those that were their same gender, would still be being stoned to death in the courtyard and keeping affairs hidden in secret…the prince would've never been allowed to marry the consort. And then nobody would've heard the amazing things the consort had done…could Lancelot really stand up and match with the likes of such strong and amazing people. Who saw a wrong and sought to correct the way things were. But this…surely this was different! Lancelot wouldn't exactly be going as himself, a fighter for commoner rights and their right to try being something more than how they were born. He would be…being somebody else just so he could have his chance at knighthood. So really, who was he to try to compare himself with some of the greats?

"I admit that you are…very compelling, and obviously passionate about doing all this for me, but I have literally nothing to offer you to make such a risk be worthwhile. I have no gold to pay you for this risk, and you have no reason to risk yourself by doing this. And as much as I would love…proving this rule to be a sham, neither of us can deny that it exists. We are only two people, and I truly doubt we will be able to change the rules." Lancelot said softly, sadness in his tone as he once again said goodbye to his dreams. Merlin talked with so much conviction, was serious enough that it made Lancelot waver on whether he would really do this, but…would Merlin's unwavering faith stand up towards the reality of their crimes? He probably could…the look in Merlin's eye said he was willing to go all the way to the top if they had too. But…could two people really pull something like this off? The knights of Camelot would really have to be dim-witted to not see what was going on right beneath their noses. "These rules, they were…made for a reason. Camelot doesn't want commoners to be a knight. That's just something you and I are going to have to accept. Lying…it's exactly what goes against everything being a knight stands for. I cannot start a career with a fundamental lie for my entrance beneath my belt."

Lancelot knew that Merlin was going to be upset with him, could see that with the way Merlin's lips thinned and his eyes looked a bit brighter, but…there was not one thing Lancelot had said that wasn't true. Lancelot didn't think another would have been able to…tempt him into taking the paper and using it for the intended purposes in which it was created. And Merlin wasn't getting a single thing out of doing this for him, so why would he bother taking a risk as big as this just for Lancelot? And…well…Lancelot didn't just want to hold the title of Knight. He wanted to BE a knight. And that meant upholding the law, seeking justice, being a force for good and protector of the land. How could Lancelot be a knight if he was willing to break the very first law he came across that he did not agree with. He just had to remain strong against Merlin, and continue to refuse this insane idea!

"No reason? I have no reason to do this?" Merlin asked him with this disbelief coloring his tone, a scoffing laughter breaking from his lips as if he wasn't able to believe Lancelot had said such a thing. "Are we forgetting what you did for me when we met? You risked your life to save mine! You bled blood for me! It was my neckerchief, the one I wear now-" he raised his fingertips to press the blue cloth tied around his neck, bringing Lancelot's attention onto it. "That I'd used to keep the blood in your body until help found us! I have no interest with getting paid for this. You have no reason to think I'm expecting anything for all of this. I'm simply repaying you for the life debt that I owe you. And I insist you take it, because I don't know if Arthur will be willing to meet with you again if it looks like you flaked out on him today. Besides, this is hardly the biggest risk I have taken since I've lived in Camelot. I honestly don't think this would break into the top ten things I've done that could land me in trouble."

And that was…concerning, to Lancelot. Merlin seemed use to exhibiting such high risk behavior, if he didn't even falter at committing high treason fraud…he once again wondered who the hell this boy was. And how he could feel just so at ease with breaking the law, surely not even Arthur would be willing to publicly protect a concubine from trouble he caused himself? Trouble that was meant to trick the very prince who might decide their fates. But…Lancelot also had no interest in claiming the 'life debt' Merlin so easily claimed Lancelot had on him. Life debts weren't exactly something that could be laughed about or dismissed too easy, but Lancelot hadn't even thought Merlin would see him being saved as something that…needed to be paid back for. Surely the smaller boy knew some people saved others just because it was the right thing, those people who wouldn't expect to be paid back for it. And this…was far more than simply paying somebody back. This was the equivalent to Lancelot lending the other boy a copper coin and Merlin handing him back a pouch full of solid gold coins. It just didn't match up.

"You know as well as I do that you have every right to be a knight as all those noblemen do, Lancelot. You have every right to fight for your country, to make a name for yourself, as they do." Merlin continued to speak, his tone going low, to something deceptively softer, but no less serious. His eyes baring down into Lancelot's own, almost making Lancelot feel as if Merlin was gazing down onto his very soul. And it made Lancelot wonder…just what did Merlin see whenever he looked at him. "We are living in a literal world where a peasant boy can and has became the Consort of Camelot. We live in a world where he challenges all the rules, and refuses to let these noble people break him down no matter how hard they try to do it. So I will say it once again…why can a knight not rise from a peasant heritage?"

Perhaps Merlin was only bringing the Consort Of Camelot into this because he was the only real example that he knew of…the only one that managed to push past the limits and still be standing. But there was no chance that Merlin would have known bringing the consort into this conversation had struck a cord deep inside of Lancelot. Strong enough for the man to go silent…of course the other boy wouldn't know just how deep his emotions ran for the consort. How much he wanted to meet said consort, how much he wanted to be like him…Lancelot had hardly dared to breathe when he first heard of Prince Arthur's marriage to a simple, common man. Lancelot had been sitting at a tavern when he had first heard the news from a drunken patron sitting next to him, and he had been so sure the other man had simply drunk too much. Lancelot had even helped him get home, for fear he wouldn't make it if he was drunk enough to tell stories as that. But then the day passed and the stories started being spoken in whispers to every town he visited, fantastical stories that varied but always seemed as if it held Camelot's very Consort in the center of its core. As a man who dreamed to be elevated to a higher standard, it was…truly breathtaking to know that this could be done. That he hadn't just been fooling himself…it had been extremely rough these last few months, ever since Lancelot had decided he was ready to start making his trek to Camelot. But every time he had started to doubt what it was he was doing, everytime Lancelot had stared up at the stars as he tried going to sleep, and start questioning if he was really ready enough to face the nobility, he would think of the Consort. And how it must've been for him, to go from common to something…larger than the life he had been given.

"You…you really do know the consort, right? I mean…you must have met him if you are close enough to talk freely with Arthur. Even if it's just in passing, you do know him, right?" Lancelot asked hesitantly, though perhaps this was why he had somewhat conflicting thoughts on Merlin's role in Arthur's life. Lancelot had held onto the consort so tightly in his mind, building him up in his head as if he himself was stronger and wiser and braver than the very king, so it was a startling thing to know the Consort's husband was in the midst of an affair. An unfortunately mundane and common enough crime. But this was Merlin…the brave Merlin who fought for his life and was willing to take in a total stranger as if they were friends. Lancelot could see him being friends with Merlin. With Arthur's concubine though…maybe not so much, despite not wanting to judge the circumstances of Merlin's decisions. "Do you really think that the consort would…want me to do this? I mean…he would approve if I just walk up to his husband, hand him a fake seal and…lie my way into the training program?"

Merlin seemed surprised by Lancelot's question, going silent for a long second and it had Lancelot shifting on his feet subconsciously…why was Merlin simply staring at him like that. Lancelot couldn't have said he had thought too much on how the consort must've dealt with breaking all the rules that he did. From marrying Arthur when it had never been done, to defying the king himself, to coming back from the dead because he refused to accept death's grip on him. Lancelot felt as if his heart was in his throat from the very thought of doing something so….unknightly. But had the consort also felt his heart in his throat when he was saying his 'I do's' to the prince in front of the same people who would turn Lancelot away. Had his heart been deep in his throat as he warned Uther of a man made out of snakes would try to kill off the prince. Had he felt as if he was going to throw up when he stood in front of a king and bartered for the life of a peasant girl accused of sorcery…really, was it possible? That the consort also felt as if he was going to succumb to nerves as he accused a foreign king of poisoning a goblet and then drinking it himself to stop a loved one-a cheater-from doing it first. And those were exaggerated, highly and deeply exaggerated but no less riddled with truth, versions that he had heard. Lancelot had always assumed the consort would have been some kind of…hero. A defender of the weak. Who didn't flinch or falter when faced with the wrong. But the way Merlin had said…the nobles tried their hardest to break him down…were the stories of a brave and selfless consort really as true as he thought they were?

"…You care about what the Consort thinks?"

Merlin's soft voice reached his ears, and Lancelot could feel the heat building in his face. This was so embarrassing, but…yeah. Lancelot really cared on what the consort thought about him. He wanted to make an impression, one just as big and as strong as the consort, despite never meeting, had on him. Meeting with the prince, who would decide Lancelot's fate on whether or not he passed as a knight, made him feel faint. But meeting the Consort, whose stories stood the test of time and distance, gave Lancelot a real life person that he would be able to see in flesh and blood, who would look at Lancelot and decide whether or not Lancelot was worth his time….made him feel as if he was going to throw up all over Merlin. Before the consort, no peasant had made it so far up in their life. Before the consort, no peasant had changed the way the world worked for them. Before the consort…Lancelot was just drifting. Holding onto a dream he felt he would never reach. But now, the consort was somebody real, somebody close enough that Lancelot could find him right now if he wanted to…god. The wannabe knight just really wanted to speak to him, tell him how much his own stories had inspired Lancelot to make his own. Lancelot didn't even think that he would've came to Camelot as early as he had if it wasn't for the consort, he would've just kept pushing it back and back, too scared of rejection despite all the strides he had made to become one of the best. If the Consort hadn't lived like he had, then…perhaps even Merlin would've been dead without him having been there to pull him out of the fray.

"Maybe you don't understand, since you've been around him before. But for all the people like me, for the people who have only heard the stories…it's almost like he's a legend. A real inspiration for the common people, somebody who is from a background no different than mine…and yet, is able to make an actual difference in the world." Lancelot said, choosing his words carefully, though he already felt flustered by what he was saying. He didn't want to sound as if he's a crazy person, a true fanboy for Camelot's one and only Consort. But…he may as well be. He just…could never get the Consort out of his head. He sometime swore, in his lowest of moments, that he could feel a hand on his back, urging him to get back up and keep fighting the good fight. To keep fighting for what he wanted. To do…the impossible…Lancelot's eyes drifted back down towards the parchment of lies Merlin was still holding onto. "You hear these stories and you know…the Consort isn't playing around. You hear these stories and you do not know what to think almost. You hear these stories, and you wish…you wish you could be just like him."

Lancelot could see…he saw a certain wet sheen forming in Merlin's eyes which made them almost glisten, but he was positive it was just the firelight trying to reflect off his eyes. Lancelot often felt moved by the Consort, but he did know that it was next to impossible for Merlin to feel the same about what he'd just said. Lancelot wasn't anything special, he just knew…he wanted to be a man the consort could proudly induct into his armies. Lancelot wanted to swear his alliance to the king, and the prince, to Camelot as a whole. But he knew that it would be something else, he could hardly breathe from the thought, of having the Consort there as well. Some faceless figure standing beside the prince as he grinned while Lancelot became a full fledged knight in his court. It would be a true…honor…to serve under the consort's court. Be a trusted member to the prince's husband, a skilled guard who would lay down his life for a man who'd given Lancelot so much without even knowing it. Lancelot was embarrassed to have such thoughts…he could hardly imagine the faceless Consort in his mind would grace a humble Lancelot with his presence. Let alone have an invested interest in his progress amongst the knights…perhaps he really was asking for too much here. But Lancelot also knew…he would never be content being only a simple farmer.

"Well," Merlin said in a strange voice, blinking back the glimmer of his eyes and giving Lancelot a tight smile. "You aren't wrong. I have spent…too much time with the Consort, and I think I have a pretty good handle on how he thinks for real. Do you want to know what the consort would say, if he was standing in this very room and heard your story for himself?" And Lancelot's chest felt just so tight with the nerves, anxiety buzzing inside his blood…he didn't know how Merlin could spend 'too much time' in the presence of somebody that could be as great as the consort was, but he desperately wanted to know what the man would think. How he thought. Wanted to know exactly how the man decided if a risk was just too great to take-the risk of failure, being caught, being jailed or worse-or if he took charge for every wrong he witnessed. And Merlin would be the closest link Lancelot had to the consort. The man aiding Camelot's very prince in his affair, exuberant Merlin, was the only one who could give him the answers he so desperately sought. God! He didn't even know how he would be able to conduct himself in front of the consort, if just talking about him would make him falter- "He would say DAMN THE RULES!"

Lancelot almost fell back with surprise, the sudden roar of Merlin's voice loud enough to catch him off guard. But he righted himself, and stared with a blunt amazement at the other…damn the rules? The Consort of Camelot would say…damn the rules? He would rip up the entire rulebook upon which Camelot had been founded on, and just do…whatever he wanted too? If the world behaved like that, then there would be chaos and destruction everywhere they went. A rule existed for a reason, even an unfair rule just as Camelot's First Code. The wannabe knight actually would've thought Merlin was messing with him, if the man did not think he was coming to know Merlin as well as he did. Merlin was not somebody who seemed like they made things up just to watch the chaos of what would follow. More like somebody who…chaos would just so happen around them. And then there were the stories…Lancelot was sure the consort didn't become a center figure in his stories by following the rules or listening to the plan put out before him. He had to have broken them, damning all of the rules as he went along for what was right…fascinating. Truly fascinating.

But just because the Consort could break the rules, didn't mean Lancelot was able to do the same…

…

…

…

Right?

"…That's really how the consort continues to make a difference, doesn't he? It is so obvious that he has to do some serious stuff, breaking the very law he is meant to uphold. But…" Lancelot started muttering beneath his breath, sure he was talking more to himself than he was talking to Merlin, barely noticing when the other boy winced. As if he was just now realizing how serious breaking the laws could be for simple folk such as them. But Lancelot had already ended up talked into this crazy plan, even if he didn't quite realize it yet. "The Consort is only one person. And he's managed to do so much. Do you really think the two of us can do something like this?"

Lancelot finally stopped talking to himself for long enough to look back at the other boy, who gave a short nod. Lancelot didn't know why, but he felt like his chest, the tightness within it, was starting to loosen up. He shouldn't exactly be putting so much faith in one boy who could be walking Lancelot straight to his damnation for all he knew, but he was. Lancelot could really see Merlin as a friend, and Lancelot…he didn't have many of those. It was hard to make a true friend when he traveled constantly, never staying in one place for too long. But as if to prove to Lancelot that he was making the right decision about trusting Merlin, the smaller boy licked softly at his dry lips and started to speak.

"I think the consort…wouldn't stand by and let a good man be put down simply because others said that he couldn't do something. The Consort, I…he, I mean to say…wouldn't stand idly by and let others decide the future of what happens to this kingdom. And who he trusts to fight for it." Said Merlin and Lancelot felt a tremor in his chest…he could see the honest conviction behind them. Merlin truly believed what he said. He truly believed the Consort would stand up and fight…for Lancelot's right to try. "People are going to say that we are breaking the rules by doing this, but I say we're only bending them. Just enough to get your foot inside the door. After you're in, it will be your own merit that shall be judged. Nobody's even seen this Lord Eldred guy for years, so you won't have to act like anything other than what you are…a knight. And if you succeed, if a knight you become…it will be because you earned it. Nobility or not…if you let me help you, then we can change this kingdom."

The conviction in Merlin's voice could have shattered Lancelot completely, he had never…had never had somebody believe in him as much as Merlin did. He had never dreamed he would have anybody backing him up, or willing to go to such lengths just to help him succeed. And maybe…maybe it also didn't really matter if it turned out the consort wasn't the brave hero Lancelot thought he'd been from the stories. Maybe it didn't even matter. Because if the Consort felt even a small fraction of what Lancelot was feeling right now, as if his world was capable of imploding on himself if he didn't do this right, then perhaps he was still brave. Maybe even braver than before, when Lancelot had assumed to see a consort whose bravery knew no bounds. Because really, what was bravery if it wasn't being terrified to your very core, and then standing up and doing the things that needed to be done. The bravest thing Lancelot would do today was nod his head, finally agreeing to Merlin's hare-brained plan. And Merlin's smile could've lit up an entire room, he was that pleased with Lancelot's decision.

"Perfect, but there's just one more thing that we have to do before we can get you in front of Arthur." Merlin said, with a proud smirk on his face, though the warrior-to-be had no idea what Merlin was talking about. They already had the seal, so…what was missing? But it looked as if Merlin was already on top of the situation, as he grabbed a hold of the large basket he had been carrying, and dragging it between them. Kneeling down beside the basket, Merlin said, "We already have your foot in the door now that Arthur knows your name, and you have the seal of nobility that will get you them to test your skills. Now, all you need to do is look like a knight. And I got these fresh from the Royal tailor."

Lancelot put his hands on both knees so he could bend down beside Merlin, watching as the other boy peeled back the fancy covering on top…there was a large amount of fabric inside. Bits and pieces of armor, like shoulder guards, and shin guards…boots were even tucked inside. But it was all just fabric, big and orange colored fabric that identically matched the shading of what was on the noble seal. With a smaller roll of red, and black, and blue tucked in beside it. Lancelot found it hard to believe that a royal tailor would've just given Merlin all the items they needed to make him dress the part-which is definitely going to be a problem since Lancelot only had basic sewing skills-but maybe Merlin just had a good relationship with the woman. She was probably always getting Merlin fitted for some new concubine outfit, something he could wear that was meant to leave in impression on Arthur, so perhaps she didn't feel put out with losing this much inventory. The basket had to have costed several pouches of gold in any other circumstance…

"We're going to make it ourselves?"

Lancelot asked Merlin this as he started refitting the cover back on top to keep the items preserved and protected until they were needed, and already trying to consider how they were supposed to go about that with their minimal skills in that department. Obviously, a remaking of the seal on the papers was going to need to be sewed onto the front of the orange fabric, but Lancelot was not going to pass if the shape was all wonky or out of order. Nobles could pay for dressmakers and the like to sew embellishments and embroidery into all of the clothing they were. But Lancelot had never worn anything more than just the simple stuff he managed to come across, no mess and no fuss. But that was not going to fly here. Sir Lancelot, the fifth son of Eldred, would need to look the part just as Merlin had said.

"…Do you remember when you said you admired the consort, and that he has done so much despite being only one person?" Merlin asked, he was keeping his head down as he tied the final fastening to the cover onto the basket, and Lancelot's thick brows furrowed together in confusion. Considering he'd said that only a few minutes ago, yes, he remembered it quite well. He just wasn't entirely sure what that had to do with right now. But luckily, Lancelot wouldn't be forced to wait in suspense for long, as Merlin finally looked back up at him. "I have to be honest with you…the consort didn't do anything alone. He had a small handful of people who helped him. In fact, we are going to see one right now. She…she's great. And you are absolutely going to love her. In fact, I think the consort would probably be dead right about now if it wasn't for her."

Lancelot felt his breath catching in his throat, a stirring of anxious excitement starting to thrum in his blood…anticipation, that was what he was feeling. The way a heart skipped a beat, the way the blood stirred restlessly, the way that a hand or two started to grow sweaty…knowing the Consort had help didn't stop Lancelot's admiration of him. It made sense, in some way, that anybody like his hero would have other people who worked for him specifically. This felt as if he was about to enter the Consort's world, felt as if he was about to meet a young woman who had been special enough to enter the Consort's orbit. Who was so special, the consort would look upon her favorably. So special, she may as well be a member of the Consort's personal court, something that was far different and separate from the King's Council and those the Prince Trusted. He hoped he made a good impression on her, the woman who saved the consort…he was only able to imagine the kind of Lady she must be…

The last thing Lancelot expected was for Merlin to bring him to the doorstep of a serving girl.

And the last thing Lancelot expected, was to feel a different stir of excitement when she appeared at the door. Her brown hair tied back but puffy in the quiet beauty only somebody who didn't know they were beautiful could pull off. Her brown eyes soft and innocent, growing softer and kind as she glanced over to Lancelot before turning her attention sorely to Merlin. Her peasant dress only accentuated her figure, bringing out the dark and rich color of her skin. But it was her smile that made Lancelot feel his heart stuttering in his chest, he was quite sure he had never felt his heart stutter like that before, but…god. It was just a really beautiful smile…

…He felt the strange urge to smooth down his already straight hair, and try to straighten out his clothing from any visible wrinkles…

X

Merlin Pendragon found himself, not for the first time in his four months in the city, standing in the middle of Gwen's small home. Only this time, he wouldn't be here because he needed her help teaching him how to put armor on Arthur, or to borrow a wheelbarrow he would never return to roll a dead body from the public's pathway. He and Gwen were standing off to the side, where Merlin had warned her before he started that he was probably about to do something that was highly illegal and she was more than free to tell him no…Gwen had agreed before she even knew the details. Which surprised Merlin, he half expected to see her facing some reservations after her stint in the cells, but no. Gwen had wanted to be a part of this, and who was he to really deny her of that. Though it was still strange, standing there with Lancelot standing awkwardly inside the room, looking around as if he didn't quite know what to do with himself. Gwen had taken a shine to the materials Lancelot, who had carried the basket all the way here himself, had settled down on her kitchen table and was looking at the items she had to work with. Pulling out the rolls and rolls of fabric and lining all the pieces up neatly beside her.

"I really can't thank you enough for doing this. I know that it's a major risk that we are taking, but I'm sure you'll see just how much this is going to be worth it once you see Lancelot fighting. He's going to have the knights desperate and wanting to keep him around by the time all is said and done." Merlin said as his friend pulled open the scroll he had handed her, studying the image at the top of it, looking at the work she had cut out for her. Lancelot was almost like this stranger, simply a mannequin for Gwen to go wild with, out of place within the small space but that only made him more fascinating. How he could fill up an entire room with just his presence. "Do you really think that you'll have it done in time? I mean, we've got about three hours or so before we are due to meet with Arthur on the field. And it's got to look amazing! But I know that you will do an excellent job-"

Merlin went silent as Gwen held up her finger, staying silent herself as she ran her eyes over the drawing of the Eldred crest. She ran the delicate fingers over the drawing for a few seconds, committing to memory exactly how the horse is rearing its head and how the two crossed over swords balanced each other out in the way only two pieces of a whole could do. And Merlin stayed silent as the other girl rolled the scroll back up to put it aside somewhere safe until the two boys needed it. But before she did, Merlin jolted startled as Gwen popped him hard on the top of his head with it…Merlin brought a hand to his head to rub it out where she had hit him, feeling the blush gracing his face. He just knew the other man, the warrior in their midst, was watching their interaction with wide, curious eyes. The easy way they interacted with the other…as if they had been friends their entire lives rather than just a few months. Merlin didn't even feel the usual self-deprivation he would've felt if it had been anybody else who had popped him on the head with a rolled up scroll as if he was being an extremely poorly behaved dog.

"You and I both know that you do not have to butter me up to get me to do this for you, Merlin. I'm more than willing to do my part. Besides, Morgana wouldn't let me hear the end of it if she knew I was letting you walk into a situation like this without the proper help. If you need my seamstress skills, then I am happy to lend them to you." Gwen said in her usual gentle manner, and the blush that rose to Merlin's face deepened. He hadn't realized he had been doing it, but it was strangely obvious now, how he had been…buttering her up to do this. But Gwen didn't need any buttering up, Merlin noticed as he watched her walking around her home, finding the measuring tape she would need to complete the job. "Please, can you come and stand right here so that I can get your proper measurements?"

Gwen stepped into the center of the room, hardly sparing Lancelot a glance as she expertly started unrolling her measuring tape, the white length of rope just fell to her feet. It seemed to take Lancelot a moment to realize that the woman was now talking to him, and Merlin grinned cheekily to himself as Lancelot was fumbling over himself in order to stand where she had indicated, the middle of the room. It was almost…cute…seeing such a strong man who could fight with a blade with more grace than Merlin could walk, stumbling all over himself to get there. Merlin leaned back against Gwen's countertops, snagging an apple from the little bowl she had sitting nearby. He had a feeling he wasn't going to be making lunch today, so this would be a good substitute he could tell Gaius so he wouldn't worry. But for now, he could watch as his bestest female friend and his newest friend got acquainted-he really hoped that Gwen approved of him, her opinion meant so much to Merlin-as Gwen knelt down by Lancelot's feet. Her hands moved professionally as she started stretching the rope up the inseam of Lancelot's leg.

"Uh, well…er…" Lancelot started to stutter as Gwen's hand went a little too high for comfort up his leg, though Merlin couldn't help but find it amusing as Lancelot looked over to him helplessly, clearly searching for some way to start breaking up the silence as Gwen marked down the number on how tall the leg was. But Merlin couldn't fault Lancelot for his unsureness of the situation, the other man clearly had no idea what he was getting into when he decided he'd get involved with Merlin's life. Because Gwen was part of the package, and he wouldn't wish for anything different. But Gwen also hadn't said a single word to the other knight…Merlin was sure it had something to do with the selective mutism thing she had going on ever since her stint in the cells. But one would hardly guess nowadays that she had ever allowed her voice to be taken away from her, she had healed so much. She was nearly all the way there to getting that whole dreadfulness put behind her for good. But there were moments in stressful situation…meeting strangers could be considered stressful, when the girl didn't want to talk. "I hope that I…don't have to tell you how much I really do appreciate you taking the time out of your day in order to do this for me. I understand that it's not the most…ordinary of circumstances, so I thank you for humoring me like this. It's really a great kindness…"

Gwen finally glanced up from her work to meet Lancelot's eyes, and Merlin's grin dimmed a little when he saw her drop her eyes back down. Moving away so she could wrap the measuring tape around Lancelot's thigh in order for her to know how wide the pants leg was going to need to be to accommodate him in them. Ah…another reminder of how Gwen was just as messed up as Merlin was, but at least neither of them needed to be messed up alone. The both of them could be messed up together, and maybe-as Lancelot glanced back in another helpless manner at Merlin, he had clearly been fishing for her name though Gwen had refused to give it…unable to give it might've been a bit more accurate-he could help her out. Just a bit compared to the many times she'd managed to help him.

"Her name is Gwen. And she's the best damn seamstress on this side of the entire kingdom." Merlin announced, flashing Gwen a smile as she sent him this thankful expression…he knew she wasn't trying to be rude. And was probably feeling she was being incredibly rude for not speaking when spoken too. But just as Gwen was willing to lend him her seamstress skills, the compliment that made Gwen blush before ducking behind Lancelot to mark down the numbers on how large his thigh was…it was a gloriously large thigh, Merlin would always be happy to lend her his voice when she needed it,. "But knowing her, I believe she would tell you…Gwen is short for Guinevere, and there's no reason for you to thank her because she's happy to do it."

Lancelot glanced over towards him, clearly confused about why Merlin had did the answering, but Gwen simply nodded, agreeing with what Merlin said as she rose up to her feet. She continued keeping her eyes down on her work, sliding the length of measuring rope down the length of Lancelot's arm until she was able to see the next number in the row of numbers she was marking down. The sorcerer was just pleased that he knew Gwen well enough by now, that she did not have to speak for him to know what she was thinking. Like two minds as a one, two peas in a pod…connected both by trauma and friendship. All that was missing was Morgana, though the less people who knew what they were doing was probably for the best…god Merlin thought as he subtly glanced at what he knew Lancelot would call his bicep…but it looked as big as a grapefruit and the curve of the muscle was only more pronounced by the way Gwen's measuring tape had clinched around it.

Merlin wasn't stupid, he knew he had developed…some kind of feelings for the older man. But who could really blame him? Lancelot was rugged, but gentle in a way most men just…weren't. He was kind when others thought kindness was a weakness. But Merlin was very hesitant to do…anything about these feelings. Lancelot had enough on his plate with their little scam, without worrying about turning Merlin down. Merlin was always the friend, never the interest. Who was far too much for most people to handle, and that was before Merlin had gotten all the baggage that came with Camelot. Though really. Merlin was extremely surprised to have recognized what the warm flush and giddiness beneath his skin meant. He had thought after everything that happened with Arthur, after what Arthur had done when Merlin's crush on him became apparent, it would have been a lot harder for him to feel these things. But…it wasn't. Merlin really wanted to do all the silly stuff normal people his age would do when they were liking somebody…he wanted to smile and take Lancelot by the hand. Take him out somewhere that would be fun and quiet, a place where they could only be them without Merlin's consort life finding some way of ruining things.

But he wouldn't.

Merlin remembered how strongly Arthur had reacted after Merlin had given the prince a favor, and really…that was probably when everything started to slowly go downhill. Lancelot was so different from Arthur though, being so sweet and tender and…sweet. But…Merlin wasn't sure if he was ready to take the risk that he had taken with Arthur. Merlin had tried with him, and then…everything went worse than they already were. He didn't want to chance something wrong was going to happen with Lancelot. And really…Merlin thought he was being quite practical about all this. Not only was he not ready for a relationship, he'd also just MET Lancelot. So Merlin didn't even know if he would be open to dating a man, Arthur certainly hadn't been. And Merlin was so not going down the road that came with falling for a straight man again. And then there was his consort life to figure out…he really had no idea how Lancelot would react whenever the truth came out. If he didn't react badly…obviously the whole of Camelot would if they thought there was more going on between them. Merlin refused to dare subject Lancelot to Camelot's normal behavior. And then there was Arthur, the consort would have to consider…despite Arthur not wanting him, it was clearly obvious that the prince wouldn't want anybody else to have him. Fuck, heaven forbid Merlin try to find a shred of happiness among this world.

…Why was life so often unfair…

Why was he even bothering himself with all of this.

Lancelot only saw him as a friend, somebody who was willing to help him out in return for saving his life. It wasn't like Lancelot would see Merlin with all his gangly limbs, large ears, skinny frame and scarred flesh and decide…that's the one for him. Now, something like that might work in the fairytales, but the slim consort didn't think he very much believed in fairy tails anymore. Lancelot may ride in on a noble steed someday and save the day, might even save Merlin as he once again found himself in trouble, but Lancelot…he was most likely going to end up with a real classy lady someday. Somebody he could engage with, or at least somebody who wouldn't have the whole of Camelot after his head if he wanted to be with Merlin…

"The best seamstress in the entirety of Camelot? I do believe that to be quite an introduction, and I find myself strangely enough trusting Merlin when he is telling me things, so it must be true." Lancelot started to talk, his back going ramrod straight as Gwen walked behind him, stretching the measuring tape to the small of his back from where the collar of his shirt would lay. Merlin looked away to hide the goofy grin unwittingly trying to form on his face…this was just so stupid. Merlin was bloody married! He shouldn't dare entertain the idea that Lancelot might actually be crushing on him back. But when the other warrior is willing to say such sweet things like that…Arthur had never said sweet things to him before, and Merlin was practically starving for the attention…it was hard to keep staying practical. "But I find that I also really do have to insist letting you know how…appreciative I am for this. So even if you don't think I should, I still must thank you for helping. So…thank you, Guinevere."

Lancelot was angling his neck around to see what Gwen was doing at his back, and for a second…there eyes met before Gwen lowered her head back down in a quick fashion, jotting down the latest number that showed how tall the back of Lancelot was. With Gwen's back to Merlin, he was unable to see the blood as it started filling up her cheeks, but…Merlin almost had heart eyes floating in his eyes. Lancelot was showing how kind he was again, thanking Gwen for her work…that was already more noble than any other noble would've spared for a serving girl. Even one that was doing them a favor. And Lancelot had even did the extra mile by referring to Gwen as her given name…nobility didn't believe in nicknames. One either used their full title or their given names. Nobles often thought 'nicknames' were meant for the common folk. Not for people who had to elude their full strength and power in anyway they could, even if their name was truly some awful monstrosity no parent should've been allowed to torment their child with. Could Lancelot have really been any more perfect right now?

"…you were lucky to meet Merlin when you first got into the city, Merlin would do absolutely anything for anybody. If he wants you to be a knight, then I have full faith in what he must see in you." The soft voice of Gwen, as she walked to Lancelot's other side so they could see each other better as she measured her way down his left forearm, was surprising to Merlin. Whose head snapped up…he honestly hadn't been expecting for Gwen to speak to Lancelot. But he was really glad that she was…it meant she was becoming more comfortable in his presence in the short time they've been here. Perhaps like Merlin, she could also see Lancelot was something special. Even if Gwen used her words to try so hard to embarrass Merlin, who quickly waved as if it was no big deal when Lancelot glanced over to him, his cheeks flaming. "I'm sure if you stick around for a while, you'll see that Merlin rarely gets involved in anything that could be qualified as 'ordinary circumstances', so something like this wasn't even a real surprise for me to begin with. Can you lift your arms for me please, thank you."

Merlin watched the interaction going off without a hitch as Lancelot practically flung his arms up, eager to obey Gwen in a…strange way that caused the small sorcerer to have something start trickling in the back of his mind…the warrior-to-be looked insanely pleased about having gotten Gwen to talk to him. That's something Merlin could understand, Gwen speaking in the earlier days of her trauma had only been done when she trusted you completely…she had nearly talked to Merlin straight away. It had taken a full three days before she started talking freely with Morgana. But…Merlin's embarrassed smile dimmed as Gwen wrapped her arms almost all the way around Lancelot's waist in order to pull at the measuring tape. Merlin knew she needed to do it to take the measurement for the width of Lancelot's chest, but did Lancelot have to look so…fluster with it? But…Gwen really was a beautiful woman, as she pulled the measuring tape back so she could jot down the latest numbers. Even if Merlin would never see Gwen as more than a friend…he could see how beautiful she was.

"And you aren't really…put off by the legal aspects of what we are going to be doing? I wouldn't want you to get in trouble or anything just because you were helping me." Lancelot said not unkindly, and Merlin's stomach twisted when he saw how Lancelot's gaze wouldn't leave Gwen's form. As if he was completely mesmerized by her and everything she was doing. And this time…this time the secret consort was able to see Gwen's cheeks growing redder. This was a real ugly feeling in the pit of his stomach forming, watching closer as Gwen pulled her measuring tape again so it stretched between her fingers. "I know that you have Merlin and me just showing up on your doorstep, but I really hope you are not feeling obligated with the short notice we've given you. Merlin's a friend to you but I'm…nothing more than a stranger."

Gwen had a little, shy smile starting to play in the corner of her lips as she had to stand on her tip toes, Lancelot crouching down an inch, for Gwen to swing the tape around his neck. Her fingers pulling so the tape was taunt around the thick throat Lancelot possessed, almost looking as if she was choking him…the only reason Merlin saw Lancelot's Adam apple bobbing as he swallowed down his nerves with Gwen being so close to him, was because of how closely he'd been watching. It was quite clear that Gwen might be forming a similar crush on Lancelot…Merlin couldn't blame her, as she pulled the measuring tape back off of Lancelot…who wouldn't have a crush on Lancelot? Merlin had never seen Gwen liking anybody in the four months that he's known her, but it wasn't hard to figure out…the way she kept sending Lancelot little glances when she would think he wasn't watching. But he was…he always was. Did that mean Lancelot also liked Gwen? When they'd only known each other for all of five minutes…

"Oh, you are so much more than a stranger. Merlin trusts you, and I find that is also all I really need to go along with what he's planning. Merlin has the oddest way of…seeing things that other people refuse too." Gwen said softly, and her and Lancelot were staring at each other again, both seeming to be drawn onto what the other was saying, as if a mere word could make or break their entire day. And Gwen had a secretive smile on her lips…Merlin knew she was starting to remember back to her more painful days…when Merlin had been the only to believe she was innocent. But of course, Merlin's stomach tightened…she still didn't know Merlin was the result of her trauma. And how could Merlin even be upset with Gwen's apparent feelings for Lancelot, when he still had that secret fact hanging over his head. "Besides, I think I would do just about anything if it was Merlin asking me to do it. Sewing your outfit together is hardly anything it could've been instead."

And Gwen flashed Merlin a soft smile…Merlin's smile had vanished entirely but he quickly flashed her one in response, the muscles in his cheeks feeling as if they were straining. Luckily, Gwen didn't seem to notice as her attention went straight back to Lancelot and Merlin's smile dropped back once she no longer was looking at him. The other two might be talking about him, but Merlin may as well not even be there. Invisible. Unnoticed…he knew he had wanted Gwen to like Lancelot as much as he did. But he hadn't expected FOR Gwen to have the same feelings for Lancelot that Merlin himself did. It didn't seem right, for two friends to like the same guy when there were dozens of men out there for them to crush on. But…nobody Merlin had met in Camelot was like Lancelot…it wasn't fair. But Merlin had the sinking feeling that he had already lost the race that none of them had known they were participating in. It was like Merlin had his chest carved into…what had he even been thinking? Allowing another crush to form on another unsuspecting male

"And what has Merlin done, to inspire such loyalty from you?"

Lancelot's voice had been spoken in barely a low murmur, soft and intimate in a way that would've had Merlin's insides fluttering…if he was talking to him, but it was Gwen he was speaking too. Gwen, who was marking down the very last of the numbers on her parchment, glanced up as if she also felt what intimate atmosphere was lingering in the room. Merlin ducked his head down, having to swallow down the bitterness that coated his tongue. He supposed…even when this situation was so upsetting…that he couldn't have lost to anybody who was better than Gwen. She would make the perfect sweetheart to a man like Knight Lancelot was going to be, and if Merlin could trust anybody to treat Gwen just as she should be…Lancelot would. Merlin wouldn't have to worry about Gwen falling in with somebody who would treat her like Arthur had treated Merlin. He could rest easy, knowing two friends of his was…happy together. Even if Merlin wouldn't share in the same happiness.

"Merlin has done much while he's been around, and he's done much for me, he wouldn't have my loyalty if he wasn't somebody worth being loyal too." Spoke the handmaiden, and Merlin was almost positive that she didn't notice that her voice had dropped into the same low tone that Lancelot had adopted…how did Merlin face Gwen when she continued being so sweet? Having no idea that all this was hurting Merlin, but…Merlin knew she would stop if he expressed how he was feeling to her later on, in privacy. But could Merlin do that? Was Merlin really going to be the type of person to ask his best friend not to like a guy just because he liked the same? Even when Lancelot hadn't given any indication to feeling the same? And clearly had some kind of connection with Gwen. Odd or as sudden as it had been. "I'm sure you will probably feel the same as I do…my friend does exactly what he says he will. Loyalty hard won because he's never been afraid of speaking with honesty. And because he'll only ask somebody to do something he would be willing to do himself. So if he's doing all of this for you, then it's because he knows you'll succeed. And after hearing the story with how the two of you had met…I find myself believing the same. I am sure you'll have the thanks of many people in this kingdom once word gets out about the incident."

One of the things Merlin had given Gwen a quick run down when they had first arrived in her hut, was how he had met with Lancelot…Merlin had wanted more to gush than anything else. But it was also to explain to Gwen how not crazy it was to get Lancelot inducted into the knight program…fuck. No. Merlin knew, if Gwen's interest in Lancelot grew, if they started to get closer…Merlin couldn't be the one to stand in their way. It was going to hurt, but…Merlin would move on. If anybody deserved to be happy, to have a man who thought the world of her like Merlin did…then it was Gwen. He only hoped Lancelot wouldn't fail to be everything that Gwen deserved. Merlin would stand on the side, and should Lancelot stay in the city and make a life here…watch as Gwen and Lancelot got a love that flourished. He couldn't imagine the two not acting on the apparent feelings they already had if they started spending more time together. And…he wouldn't need ever tell either of them about his feelings for Lancelot. That was just one more secret Merlin would keep tight to his chest. Because, as Gwen is showing her loyalty to Merlin…Merlin would show loyalty to her in return.

There would never be a man, after all, that was important enough to ruin what friendships he had.

Merlin just had to keep remembering that…

"People would want to thank me for saving Merlin? That doesn't sound right. I did only what anybody would do in those circumstances." Lancelot said, his brows furrowing together as he relaxed his stance somewhat, now that Gwen wasn't fluttering around him any longer for her measurements. Honestly though…the consort thought Gwen was exaggerating on that. Morgana might want to meet Lancelot once she heard the story, but there were precious few people who'd be thankful for Merlin's continued survival. Even with the way people had been behaving oddly since Merlin's full recovery from the poison was announced, he didn't see anybody changing so much they would actually be 'thankful' for the man stopping Merlin's ultimate demise. "And I mean…I know that Merlin is the nephew of Camelot's Royal Physician, Gaius has been very kind allowing me to stay in his home until I can find a place for myself. But surely being nephew to a prized physician wouldn't be enough to warrant people thanking me for it…?"

Merlin could feel the stab of panic hitting him hard in the chest when Gwen's brows started to furrow, looking at Lancelot as if she wasn't entirely sure what he was talking about. He nearly came up off the countertop in his panic, eyes wildly darting between the two…he knew he had forgotten something when he had been speaking to Gwen when they first arrived. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! He had forgotten to tell Gwen not to let it slip that Merlin was the consort. Fuck! All of the secrecy was going to die right here and right now…Lancelot would feel so betrayed if he knew Merlin was the consort he had been talking about with so much…admiration, earlier. He might not even allow Merlin to help him do this any longer, if he felt he could no longer trust him. God, and Lancelot had been speaking so…sweetly…the way he admired Merlin without even knowing that it was him he was talking about…fuck! Lancelot would've never spoken about his other persona so openly, if he knew it was MERLIN he was talking about. That is just another reason Lancelot would feel betrayed about, just as Merlin had been thrown for a loop the first time he ever smarted off to Arthur, and learned he was his husband-to-be only afterwards.

"Oh…I suppose I didn't realize that you were also sleeping at Gaius. I'm sure the…accommodations have been very welcoming. I'm sure Merlin will keep you busy while you are there. They are very kind people." Gwen said slowly, as she shot Merlin a confused look, clearly not knowing what she should be saying to this. Merlin was trying to impress on her with his crazy eyed stare not to say a word, but he was pretty sure she didn't understand 'don't tell Lancelot I'm the consort' with the crazy person staring back at her. She was also probably too caught up with 'Lancelot, an unwed stranger sleeping in the exact same household as their unprotected consort.' Gaius himself had expressed some reservations about them sharing the same room, even if they weren't in the same bed, because of how improper it was. People who weren't related to the other, or married, should never share the same bedchamber. Full stop. And the handmaiden, through her work with Morgana, was very clearly aware of such a taboo thing among the nobles. Commoners mostly just slept where they could, as they didn't always have the option of choosing their sleeping arrangements. "But I wasn't talking about Merlin being related to Gaius. There is going to be plenty of people who will want to meet the man who saved Camelot's Con-"

Merlin made this loud, aborted sound…Merlin wasn't even sure what the fuck he had been trying to do, but it was loud enough that it caused Gwen to pause in mid-word. Both Lancelot and Gwen looked back at him, and Merlin quickly dropped his eyes down, pretending he was absolutely fascinated with the one bite he had actually taken out of his apple. And when Merlin didn't look as if he was going to continue with…whatever he had been doing, Lancelot turned sole attention back onto Gwen. Merlin's head popped up almost instantaneous, and Gwen was still looking at him over Lancelot's shoulder. She knew Merlin quite well, well enough to know he didn't just do things without there having some kind of purpose to it.

"What were you saying, Guinevere?"

And Lancelot looked as if he was truly interested in what she had to say, when most men would've brushed Gwen off as speaking nothing more than a woman being folly. Gwen glanced back over to the knight, stuttering for a half second before she glanced back over his shoulder at Merlin. Gwen scrunched her face all up, more confused than ever as Merlin started waving his hands, matching his head as he frantically mouthed 'no' to her. Merlin's gestures seemed to be far too over exaggerated, as he pointed at Lancelot's back mouthing 'He!' And shook his head again as he mouthed 'doesn't.' And frantically tapped on either side of his head 'know!' And Merlin still wasn't entirely sure if the handmaiden realized what he was telling her, because it became clear to Lancelot that the woman was distracted with something going on behind him. It wasn't exactly hard to deduce, since Gwen hadn't stopped staring at Merlin for a full minute at least, but Lancelot starting to turn around to see for himself what had been going on sent both handmaiden and consort into a sudden panic.

"I just mean-!" Gwen exclaimed, far louder than she had spoken before, as she reached out to grasp onto Lancelot's forearm to drag his attention straight to her again…Lancelot followed without question. His eyes dropping onto Gwen's delicate fingers cupping below his elbow…there was a thing to be said about a woman's feminine wiles. Even when said woman didn't know exactly what she was doing. "That the con…the con…con-" Gwen started to stutter helplessly as she struggled to pick what she was going to say. "That the consort…" this was the end, Merlin thought, sagging into himself as his eye twitched violently, this was the end and all Merlin really wanted to do was bash his head against all of Gwen's nice pretty countertops. Maybe he could go ahead and bash his head open to avoid seeing what Lancelot's face would look like after he discovered the truth, and…that statement suddenly wasn't as lighthearted as it always felt like when Merlin was still fighting his suicidal mindset at times. Merlin might be actually tempted to try such a thing if things got dark for him again… "Is most likely going to want to thank you personally for what you did for…him. Merlin's got this really strong presence in the kingdom you know, practically everybody around knows him. So yeah, the consort would want to thank you for the brave actions you took when saving him."

Gwen smiled, strained and desperate to be believed as she flashed all of her white teeth in Lancelot's direction, purposely not looking at Merlin in case the action caught Lancelot's attention again. And Merlin nearly fell back against the countertops, his entire body felt like it could be shaking even though it felt so easy to be able to breathe again. Gwen was really one hell of a true miracle worker. She had somehow managed to word herself carefully to hide away the consort's true identity, while anybody else who knew the truth would've known she was speaking sorely about Merlin. Fuck…how did she even do that? While speaking the truth! Because Merlin, Consort Merlin and Regular Merlin, would have wanted to thank Lancelot. Hell, just doing all of this was their-his-way of thanking Lancelot for saving his life. What good was Merlin if he couldn't have done the bare minimum for Lancelot swooping in on him like he had?

"Really? I didn't have any idea the consort was that close to Merlin? Though I was told that…you…were close to the consort. Merlin mentioned how he wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you." Lancelot exclaimed, his voice going just an octave higher, brimming with excitement as the conversation turned to Merlin's secret persona. Merlin was almost embarrassed for Gwen to see how excited it made Lancelot…he was sure all that excitement would be drained once he realized it was little old Merlin he had been fawning over. The way Lancelot had spoke of his secret persona back in Gaius' chambers had really…touched Merlin in this way that he hadn't expected. Merlin was used to being the disappointment, he wasn't used to being an inspiration. He almost hadn't known what to do…he'd almost given away who he was by blurting it out just so Lancelot would know who he was really talking about. "If you don't mind, if it's not too much trouble of course, when you've got some time…I would love to hear the story. I think it is absolutely fascinating to hear what other stories people might have with the Consort in them. I think yours will be…interesting…"

Lancelot trailed off, a little blush brimming his cheeks as he looked away from the handmaiden. Gwen didn't seem to understand what he was getting at, but Merlin sent a little side eye over to Lancelot…that hadn't came out as smooth as Merlin had thought it would have. It was still adorable, in a dorky way, since he was pretty sure Lancelot was trying to ask Gwen for a date. Right in front of him…perhaps not a date. But definitely a private outing where the two of them could get to know each other better. Sort of like a…pre-date. Now, they might actually begin talking all about how Gwen had lied her way through a soldier to sneak a flower out of the dungeon cells, how she had ran as if hell was lapping at her ankles to get to Merlin on time…Arthur could say he saved Merlin all the prince wanted, but Merlin knew the real hero of that story had been Gwen. But Merlin also didn't have any doubt that this 'conversation' would eventually turn to other things…what they liked, their childhoods, favorite memories…all of the things people talked about when they were first sussing each other out.

"It's…definitely an interesting story, but I wouldn't want to bore you with any of the details. I just happened to be the right person for the job, so it wasn't as if I was the only person who could do it. Just the one who happened to be there at the moment." Gwen said, probably not realizing she was dismissing Lancelot asking her out entirely…probably too focused on choosing her words still, just to make sure she hadn't let Merlin's identity slip. Despite the heartache, Merlin couldn't help but feel how…pathetically sad this was. He almost wanted to slap a hand to his forehead, their feelings were so obvious and yet Gwen was more focused on hiding his truths than doing something about the clear connection the two had going on. Maybe Merlin should tell the story himself…let Lancelot know how brave Gwen had been to face her fears of the dungeon for him. Let Lancelot know how she had faced the belly of the beast, Arthur, in order to get him what he needed. How she had cried over him, her heart showing when she thought he had died. How she had kissed him when she realized he was going to live…okay, no. Perhaps he could leave that last part out. "But I think that you are going to have a much more fascinating story than I did once the consort is made aware of you. I mean, I think the consort will agree with us needing more men like you joining with the ranks among the army."

Gwen spoke a bit more confidently than before, the lies pouring off her tongue being hidden behind her usual rambles, effortlessly turning their conversation around on Lancelot like a pro. Merlin wasn't entirely sure if that was actually a good thing or not…on one hand. Gwen had just managed to cover his arse with Lancelot, but on the other hand…Gwen wasn't a liar. She was more like Merlin, who got flustered and panicked when he lied and made up the most ridiculous of things in order to hide his lies…but Gwen was doing it because Merlin asked her too. And Merlin did it out of necessity. But if Lancelot was disappointed by the girl's response, by Guinevere's response, he didn't show it. Lighting up again, as if Gwen's attention was the only thing in the world that he needed, even if it wasn't entangled with the romantic aspect he had been going for.

"You really think so?" Lancelot asked, carrying on the conversation with a bit of hope in his voice…Merlin supposed it was one thing to hear it from Merlin's lips, but it was another thing entirely for the apple of his eye to say practically the same thing. "I mean…you really need knights? I haven't been around many of them, but I've always heard Camelot's knights were the best out of the five kingdoms, and they've only gotten better since Arthur took over their training program. I don't know how I might match up actually facing one of them. They are very…for the most part I mean…something different from my usual kind of opponents."

Merlin slowly settled himself back against the countertop, wanting to hear the voices wash over him…try to get used to it now and ease the stinging of his heart. It was a fresh wound now, but…it wouldn't always be. Time healed heartaches, Merlin knew…even if he was still waiting for his heartache towards Arthur to crease existing. Maybe once it did, he wouldn't constantly be stuck in this limbo of frustrating anger and lashing out…Merlin shook his head to try focusing on what Lancelot had just said. He knew the other man was nothing more than being modest. Perhaps his usual opponents included…stray bandits on the road or bar fights that got out of hand or the odd person that may know what they were actually doing with a sword. But he also had the magical beast under his belt as well, and that was more than what most of Camelot's knights could say. And after today…Lancelot could gleefully, okay Maybe Merlin would say it gleefully because Lancelot was too modest for bragging, say he'd been good enough to shove those stuffy noble's faces directly in the dirt.

"Oh!" Gwen exclaimed, her entire face turning brighter than the sun even right through her dark skin, her eyes bright and embarrassed as she rose her hand up to half cover her mouth. "I didn't mean…I don't mean me personally, to be perfectly clear. I simply meant…Camelot needs more knights that actually care about the rest of us. Knights who aren't privileged and understand things that nobility just…can't. We need knights who fight for the people, like you. Not just knights like Arthur and his kind, who fight more for glory than anything else, as far as I have seen. And besides, I'm sure once you've faced one knight, it'll be much easier to face any other that you have too. They don't really different all that much in their fighting styles, all of them try copying Arthur to try getting his approval, even if Arthur's particular style doesn't work for them."

Gwen spoke with a better confidence than when she had been saying Merlin's lies…her father was a blacksmith, after all. And as far as Merlin had ever met, she knew more about the blade than anybody else. How they were made, how to make them perfectly balanced, how to wield one even if she didn't have any of the muscle mass that would've made her a serious threat if she really had a go at proper training. Merlin glanced down at his feet, sucking his top lip in his mouth…he supposed that was just another reason why the two were perfectly suited for the other. Lancelot was going to be a knight, and Gwen was a child to the local blacksmith. He could wield the sword, and Gwen had knowledge on how to make one. Lancelot would fight, and Gwen would provide him with the weapons necessary. What did Lancelot and Merlin have in common? Other than their shared trauma from the beast…and Merlin wouldn't have particularly said Lancelot was traumatized. That was mostly Merlin, whose terror stemmed more from being alone with the blood of a dying stranger on his hands, than it had came from the actual beast.

"Well I'm not a knight quite yet, m'lady," Lancelot said smoothly, sounding like a true noble gentlemen as he gave Gwen a title that would've had other nobles gasping in scandalized shock, clutching at their pearls as they looked at Gwen and her non-straightened hair and threadbare dress who's embellishment was entirely handmade. And Gwen smiled down at her feet…that was probably the first time she had been called a title before in her entire life. Merlin knew just how disorienting that was, having been shocked into disbelief when he'd been first addressed that way. "But I can assure you that I won't be copying Prince Arthur's style. I am sure there's still much I can learn from the man, but I know that different styles fit for different men. No two men can fight exactly as the other without some kind of complication cropping up that leaves one of them falling behind."

Merlin eyed the door, wondering if either of the two would notice if he started to inch his way towards it, or if they would continue flirting all the way till the testing session was ready. He couldn't really watch much more of this, though it wasn't because of heartache this time. Maybe he was already starting to feel better about it, Gwen's growing smile-brighter than he could remember seeing in these last few weeks-was a big help with helping ease some of the pain. But that didn't mean he wanted to stand here and watch the two…some things was just meant for privacy. And…this just wasn't something Merlin felt he should've been privy to. Though the embarrassed blushes and shy grins and desperate to make an impression atmosphere was definitely something Merlin was going to have to remember if he ever got the chance to make a speech at the wedding he could already see them having a few years from now.

"Please…don't call me that. I'm not exactly a lady." Gwen insisted, waving her hand…she looked young and beautiful and happy. Not the same girl that had to be rescued from the cells, nor the same girl that had flung her arms around Merlin the second she was released…but perhaps Gwen realized this had been going on far enough. Or maybe she only realized it after Merlin, inching toward the door, stumped his toe into the table leg and bit back a wild curse that was threatening to escape his lips as he bent over. The bubble between the two-to -be lovers, between the two…something nobody really yet understood-started to pop. And Gwen cleared her throat, brushing a hand down the long length of her skirt as she backed away. "Errr. It was really nice to meet you Lancelot. I'll meet you at Merlin's in a few hours, yes? It shouldn't take me no time to make your outfit. I promise, I won't make you look too horrific."

Gwen's poor joke only seemed to smitten Lancelot even more, leaving Merlin standing by the door and impatiently waiting to leave. But it seemed as if the wannabe knight wasn't going to leave without Gwen knowing…exactly how he appreciated her. Merlin hadn't even blinked before Lancelot, in this spur of the moment decision, snatched up Gwen's hand. Merlin's eyes widened as he bent his head down low, bowing before Gwen as if she was a true lady, standing up above him forever and he should only be grateful to bask in her light. And then he was pressing a kiss to the back of her knuckles, her delicate fingers folding into his grip…Merlin's jaw dropped. The ache returning to his chest, an intense longing that almost stole Merlin's breath away…he wanted that, he realized.

Merlin wanted to have somebody that would press kisses to the back of his hand as if he was somebody special…wanted somebody who would linger just because they didn't want to tell him goodbye…somebody who would do such a foolish thing, unsure of how Merlin would react, but willing to make themselves out to be the fool just to show Merlin he was the only thing that mattered. And perhaps it wasn't really Lancelot Merlin wanted, but definitely somebody who was like him. Somebody unafraid to show such a vulnerable side, because they felt comfortable enough in Merlin's presence. Somebody who would…make his heart speed up and his head swoon and his breath catch…somebody who was going to love being loved just as Merlin was. Somebody who…could make him feel as if everything was right in the world with the simplest of kisses…

But where could Merlin ever find such a man?

X

Arthur Pendragon, just like Merlin, had quite the eventful morning, and it had all started when he had woken up later than he usually would. He was meant to have a servant come and wake him up in time for breakfast, but without having a specific servant to cater to his needs nowadays, things had gotten mixed up on who was in rotation for Arthur duty this day. But no matter, Arthur decided he was in too much of a rush to wait for one to arrive, and had pretty much did the impossible by taking care of himself today. He had gotten himself dressed, gotten himself fed (okay, so he flagged down a servant and took whatever tray she had been bringing to another for himself), and had spent the better part of his morning talking with his father. He had finally managed to warn the king on how close this strange…creature that had been attacking the villages…had got to Camelot unnoticed. And they needed to make preparations for if it came to their stretch of land again…

Arthur would've gone the second he had been left behind by Merlin after their disastrous first date-thank god, his father had been too busy with news of the beast to ask how their date had gone, and if Merlin had started softening up to him yet. Arthur wasn't nearly prepared enough for that conversation-but there had been a few…unforeseen obstacles that prevented him from doing it till this morning. And that obstacle had been Arthur's throwing up…ever since Merlin'd gone crazy on him and shoved his scars beneath Arthur's nose…he found that it was near impossible to stop. He had kept a damn sick bucket in his room as he threw up…there had been nothing hideous about Merlin's scars. Other than the fact that they were there at all. And Arthur was the one responsible. Okay, so he hadn't been the one that forced Merlin's nails against his skin, but they were there because of Arthur nonetheless. This hadn't been at all what Arthur had meant all those times he wished he could mark Merlin up, scar him for the sake of Arthur's pleasure alone…Merlin had taken that joy right out of his own bloody hands.

And Arthur had wept as he threw up whatever stomach acid was left to come up.

It had been a very….upsetting night for Arthur. He hadn't even allowed his own servant of the hour to come in and heat up his bath. He had simply sat on the floor next to his bed and held his sick bucket between his thighs with limp hands…he must've stared into space for hours. Body shivering as the sky had started to darken right outside his curtains, trying to keep the sickness at bay even as his skin grew cold with drying sweat. He hadn't been able to get Merlin out of his head…thinking about all the things that had drove him to such ends…all the things Arthur had done to drive him to such drastic actions. He had known the scars were there, having seen brief glimpses when Merlin had been poisoned and too unconscious to protest Arthur seeing them. But there was something so strikingly disturbing about seeing them so clearly, having those scars being engraved into one's mind and knowing that it was all his fault…Merlin's perfect white skin was blemished beyond care because Arthur hadn't been taking care of him properly…

And that had only been the night before.

After Arthur had finished with his father this morning, having made commands to stock up the battlements and put out extra patrols and guards on the gates to keep watch for any winged creatures far bigger than an eagle…Arthur ended up pulling one of the guards aside-Knight Gregory-to give him an assignment that was separate from the rest. Arthur hadn't forgiven Knight Dorian for being dumb enough to allow his consort to leave the city without a proper escort…it had been Gregory's job to arrest him. Dorian was currently sitting down in the cells and stressing himself out because he had no idea what exactly was going on. Arthur had made Gregory's orders strict and clear, the arrest was meant to be discreet until Arthur passed judgement on the man. Arthur had yet to go on down there to see him, he didn't think he could handle not losing his cool if he had to hear Dorian's lame excuses for what he had done. No, it would be best to leave Dorian stewing in his panic-he was more liable to talk the longer that he was down there with no real answers on what he had done-until he made a decision on what he was going to do.

Execution?

Banishment?

Jail time?

Demotion?

Stocks?

There were just so many choices for what he could go with, and he really just wanted to consult Merlin on it, so the other boy could be involved more with all the court life decisions that came when one was often in charge of prisoners. That didn't seem very likely to happen though, considering Merlin refused one thing to do with him. They couldn't even have a single outing without it falling into ruin! But once again…Merlin might've been the one to start the fight but it was Arthur who was at fault for it. Him and his stupid decisions…and he wasn't even able to blame his father for making him see that outing as a 'date.' Since it was Arthur who had tried taking advantage of it to get Merlin alone…

Fuck!

Which was actually why Arthur was where he was now, of his own volition and without his father's knowledge…he was standing outside of Gaius door. Being desperately hopeful that Merlin wouldn't be inside to witness this humiliation as Arthur finally made a plea on his case with Gaius. Merlin wouldn't see him, but Gaius…Gaius was his only link to Merlin. If anybody had some real advice for him, than it would be him. He only needed to…will up the guts-come on! Is he a knight or not?-and knock on the damn door so he wouldn't look like this complete stalker if Merlin arrived and he was still standing out there.

He. Just. Needed. To-Arthur brought a hand to his pocket just to check rather or not he still had the peace offering gift he wanted to give to Gaius inside his pocket…he had already checked twenty times just to make sure it hadn't gone and fallen out on him…

…

…

…

He knocked, hard and fast, before he could talk himself out of it.