The Warriors: From Zero to Hero
Chapter 1
(Special World: Hercules)
The camera opens in on a museum hallway featuring Greek statues and vases
Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty Hercules. the narrator said
A Greek vase is shown with a picture of Hercules fighting a monster as the camera zooms in slowly on the Vase
But what is the measure of a true hero? Ah, that is what our story is.. the narrator said
Will you listen to him? He's makin' the story sound like some greek tragedy. Thalia said
Lighten up, dude. Terpsichore said
We'll take it from here, darling. Calliope said
You go, girl. the narrator said
We are the Muses. Goddeses of the arts and proclaimers of the heroes. Calliope said
Heroes like Hercules! Terpsichore said
Honey, you mean "hunk-ules". Ooh, I'd like to make some sweet music with him... Thalia said
The muses start humming as they're about to sing
Our story actually begins long before Hercules, many eons ago... Calliope said
The scene changes colors and the Muses start walking and singing
(Back when the world was new.)
(Woo.)
(The planet Earth was down on its luck.)
(And everywhere gigantic brutes.)
(Called Titans ran amok!)
(It was a nasty place!)
(There was a mess wherever you stepped.)
(Where chaos reigned and earthquakes.)
(And volcanoes never slept!)
(Woo. Say it girlfriend.)
(And then along came Zeus!)
(He hurled his thunderbolt.)
(He zapped!)
(Locked those suckers in a vault!)
(They're trapped!)
(And on his own stopped chaos in its tracks.)
(And that's the gospel truth!)
(The guy was too type A to just relax.)
(And that's the world's first dish.)
(Yeah baby.)
(Zeus tamed the globe while still in his youth.)
(Though, honey, it may seem imposs'ble...)
(That's the gospel truth!)
(On Mount Olympus life was neat)
(And smooth as sweet vermouth.)
(Though, honey, it may seem imposs'ble...)
(That's the gospel truth!)
A schematic picture of Olympus zooms in and turns into a real one while the Muses still repeat their "ah's and yeah's", as the camera moves up the mountain slope while it does the movie title HERCULES is shown and then the camera goes inside passes various chattering gods and finds baby Hercules
Hercules! Behave yourself. Hera said
Zeus comes in to play with the baby too
Oh, look at this, look how cute he is... Zeus said
Zeus babbles at baby Hercules and he catches Zeus by index finger and lifts above his cradle
Hah! Oh, he's strong! Like his Dad, hmm? Zeus said
Suddenly a flying man was flying by while passing the gods
Whoa! Excuse me! Hot stuff coming through! Excuse me one side, Ares. the flying man said
The flying man then approached Hera with some flowers
Why, Hermes, they're lovely Hera said
Yeah, you know, I had Orpheus do the arrangement. Isn't that too nutty? Hermes said
Very. Hera said
Hermes then flies over to Zeus to chat with him
Fabulous party Zeus. Hermes said
Thanks, Hermes. Zeus said
Fabulous party, you know, i haven't seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself! Hermes said
Narcissus is shown staring into his mirror and making kissing sounds
Wow. Zeus said
I know right? Hermes said
Baby Hercules gets one of Zeus's lightnings and plays with it
Dear, keep those away from the baby. Hera said
Oh, he won't hurt himself. Let the kid have a little fun! Zeus said
Baby Hercules tries to eat the lightning but gets zapped and throws it away in frustration three gods jump away from its path until Athena hits it with her sword so it hits a pillar which immediately reappears
Oh, on behalf of my son, I want to thank you all for your wonderful gifts. Zeus said
Zeus shows off all of his gifts which are all completely gold
What about our gift, dear? Hera said
Our gift? Zeus said
Yes. Hera said
Well, let's see here...we'll take, hmm, yes, a little cirrus, and, hmm, a touch of nimbostratus, and a dash of cumulus. Zeus said
Zeus moves his hand with a little pegasus-shaped cloud on it closer to baby Hercules and the cloud turns out to be a Baby Pegasus
His name is Pegasus, and he's all yours, son. Zeus said
Baby Hercules bonks his forehead against Baby Pegasus's as he whinnies and licks Hercules they hug letting all the gods sigh
Mind his head. Hera said
He's so tiny. Zeus said
Baby Hercules tries to bite the medallion that hangs from his neck and then yawns
My boy. My little Hercules. Zeus said
How sentimental. a voice said
The camera moves to a guy with flaming blue hair fast after his voice is heard
You know, i haven't been this choked up since i got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat! Huh? the blue-haired man said
All of the gods look sternly at the flaming blue-haired man
So, is this an audience or a mosaic? Hey, how you doin'? Lookin' good. Nice dress.
As he is saying that, he moves from one god to another until Zeus squeezes him in a hug.
So Hades, you finally made it. How are things in the Underworld? Zeus said
Hades then takes Zeus's hand off his shoulder
Well, they're just fine, you know, a little dark, a little gloomy, and as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do? Hades said
Oh. Zeus said
Yup. That's my life. Hades said
If you even call it a life. Hermes said
But enough about that. Ah! There's the little sunspot, little smootchie. And here is a sucker for the little sucker, eh? Hades said
Hades weaves a sucker with a skeleton head out of thin mist
Here you go. Ya just... Hades said
Baby Hercules squeezes Hades' finger, and after some fighting he gets away from the baby
Sheesh! Uh, powerful little tyke. Hades said
Zeus hugs Hades again and talks some more with him
Come on, Hades, don't be such a stiff, join the celebration! Zeus said
Hades gets free of Zeus's hug again and talks with him
Hey, love to, babe, but unlike you gods lounging about up here, i regrettably have a full-time gig that you, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus, So...can't. Love to, but can't. Hades said
You ought to slow down, you'll work yourself to death. Zeus said
Zeus then realized that he just made a joke about Hades
Hah! Work yourself to death! Ha! Zeus said
All of the gods then laugh at Zeus's joke about Hades
Oh, I kill myself. Zeus said
If only. If only. Hades said
The scene changes back to the Muses who were explaining who Hades is
If there's one god who you don't want to get steamed up, it's Hades. Calliope said
Cause he had an evil plan. Terpsichore said
The scene changes to a boat on the River Styx in which a skeleton is carrying Hades
(He ran the Underworld.)
(But thought the dead were dull and uncouth.)
Suddenly two souls lean up from the lake bed to grab Hades, who zaps them away and blows the smoke off his finger like a pistol
(He was as mean as ruthless.)
(And that's the gospel truth.)
A pair of skeletal gates open and Cerberus' heads snarl and snap their jaws viciously
(He had a plan to shake things up.)
Hades throws them a piece of steak for the dogs to eat, which the dogs fight over as the boat continues its journey down the river
(And that's the gospel truth.)
Soon Hades arrives at the dock with a staircase leading to his lair
Pain! Hades said
Pain comes in running down the stairs
Coming, your most lugubriousness! Pain said
Pain trips and bounces on the stairs and lands his butt on a sharp trident screaming
Panic! Hades said
Panic also comes in running down the stairs
Oh, I'm sorry. (pants wildly) I can handle it! Panic said
Panic runs but he trips over Pain who just got free from the trident falls over and his horns get stuck in Pain's butt as Pain screams while Hades rolls his eyes disgustedly
Pain! Ow! Pain said
And Panic! Ow! Panic said
Reporting for duty. Pain and Panic both said
Fine, fine, fine. Just let me know the instant the Fates arrive. Hades said
Pain pulls Panic's horns out of his rump
Oh! They're here! Panic said
What? Hades said
They're here. Panic said
Hades then burst into flames after hearing what Panic just said
WHAT?! The Fates are here, and YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?! Hades said
We are worms! Worthless worms! Pain and Panic both said
Pain and Panic shape-shift into worms as they sob uncontrollably
Memo to me, memo to me: Maim you after my meeting. Hades said
The scene changes to a chamber with the Fates
Darling, hold that mortal's thread of life good and tight. Atropos said
Atropos cuts a thread with scissors and a woman's scream is heard.
Incoming! Lachesis said
The Fates laugh as a soul enters the cave and flies into a tunnel as the counter above the tunnel now says "Over 5000000001 served"
Ladies! Hah! I am so sorry that i'm... Hades said
Late! the fates said
We knew you would be. Clotho said
We know everything. Lachesis said
The fates take quick turns as they pass their only eye from one another as they speak the next three lines
Past. Clotho said
Present. Lachesis said
And future. Atropos said
Atropos then whispered something to Panic
Indoor plumbing. It's gonna be big. Atropos said
Great. Great. Anyway, see, Ladies, i was at this party, and i lost track of... Hades said
We know! the fates said
Yeah. I know...you know. Hades said
Hades goes over to a map table depicting Greece with pawns of Zeus and the gods
So, here's the deal. Zeus, Mr. High and Mighty, Mr. "Hey, you, get off of my cloud". Now, he has... Hades said
A bouncing baby brat. the fates said
We know! Clotho said
Hades then burst into flames a little annoyed by the fates knowing everything
I know! You know. I know. I got it. I got the concept. So, let me just ask is this kid gonna mess up my hostile takeover bid, or what? What do you think? Hades said
Um... Lachesis said
Oh no, you don't. We are not supposed to reveal the future. Clotho said
It looks like Hades is hatching a plan to take out Zeus and rule Mount Olympus stay tuned
TO BE CONTINUED
