Twin Life

by TripppyHippie

AU: What if Mary and Jessica had both been in Radley and were close? What if they had both died the night Jessica died yet pull through somehow? They all raise their kids together as a family, the kids turn out kind, Mona and Peter are A. Mary is in a relationship with Veronica. Lots of twists and turns

AU: Mary and Jessica have both been in and out of radley and are extremely close, living next door to eachother, CeCe was raised by Mary who lets her be a girl from a young age, Alex and Spencer are also raised by Mary who Peter raped, the twins are also extremely close with eachother and Ali, they are not mean girls at all but still get targeted by Mona. Veronica and Mary end up in a relationship after Mary finds out shes having twins from Peter and they raise their kids together. Kenneth leaves Jessica when Ali is young after learning Jason isn't his but the product of Peter forcing himself on Jessica, his disapproval of CeCe's transition and Mary's relationship. CeCe is not A but does kill Wilden, it's just Peter Hastings working with Mona and her twisted games/dollhouse. Starts off with the night Jessica died accept Mary dies too and the girls are in nyc, plot twist: Jessica and Mary end up in the hospital and make a full recovery
Mary: You know that thing they call twin telepathy? it is very much real and I can't help but overhearing Jessica's thoughts right now, I'm in a panic Peter Hastings the man who had basically raped me wants Jessica to help him get rid of me or he'll get rid of us both. As if my twin wasn't dealing with enough finding out Alison was alive all this time after, we had a funeral, we all really thought Alison was dead, the police were now looking for Alison and the pack of friends. My Partner Veronica who used to be Peter's husband puts her hand on my shoulder, "I could never hurt Mary intentionally, over my dead body" Peter stormed out out rambling on about Jason, Jessica's son being a problem who was also Peter's kid. Jessica hadn't put up a fuss when Peter forced himself on her like I had, she just went with it, why had he wanted me gone in the first place? the twins and I were just a complication to him and the reason he lost his wife I guess. "Backyard Jess?" I ask her telepathically "Yes, now we need to talk, I can't hurt you, I won't" She responds, Tears trickled down my face I wondered where my daughters were. I felt Veronica put her arms around me "Twinsense? What the heck is Peter doing here? Do I need to go out there and tell him off?" I hugged my partner "He's up to something bad, I feel dizzy, like my blood pressure is low, Veronica and yes Twinsense, I need to go outside, talk with Jessica and figure out exactly whats going on" I say trying to hold myself together I didn't want to worry her till I had all the facts. I was lucky Veronica was understanding of the bond Jessica and I shared, "Take as long as you need, I'm going to watch the news while you two talk, please let me know whats going on, I'm worried" She says kissing me gently. "Let me know if you hear from the Spencer or Alex, as of right now no ones sure where the girls are still" I say concerned no one had heard from the pack of friends and their phones kept going to voicemail, even I was starting to wonder if Peter did something. I let go of her heading out back, it was a complicated relationship with Veronica, we are married now, it's worth it though, having that type of connection where you know the person your with would never intentionally hurt you, means a lot to me. "He threatened to kill us both he wants me to overdose you on our heart meds I can't believe he'd think I would go along with hurting you for one second knowing how much you mean to me, I'm beyond upset" Jessica and I bury ourselves in eachother I feel the tears forming in her eyes. "Hey, he's not getting away with this Jessica, Veronica won't let him, I think we need to go to the police before this goes any further though" I say holding her close tears freely flowing down our faces. "I know, I'm just" I cut her off "Terrified? me too" I say "Plus with the girls missing and Alison, god for all I know he's the reason she went missing" Jessica starts to slur her speech. "Jess did he drug us somehow?" I ask looking into her eyes concerned I was getting so lightheaded suddenly "I don't know the glass of water I just drank tasted off now that you mention it" She says telepathically "Now that you mention it the glass of water I drank while you two were fighting tasted off" I say telepathically back we were already collapsing "I love you" We slurred out simultaneously as everything went blank. Suddenly we were outside our bodys limp and turning blue, had we died? how did he get the pills into our water? I was so overwhelmed "Pray someone finds us before its too late" my twin says crying. "I think it already is" I say crying. Just like that my life was over I'd never see my baby's again or Veronica, if I'd only known when I walked out the door, I'd of never let go of Veronica, I had held onto my twin till our last breath.
Veronica's POV: I suddenly ran to the backyard after hearing CeCe yell for me "Mother help!" She had cried out in a panic "Mommy wake up! you can't leave me" She repeated, CeCe was hysterical neither Jessica or Mary are breathing their lips are turning bluer "CeCe what happened, was it Peter?" I ask dialing 911 "I came to say goodbye, I need to leave the country for a while because I killed Wilden in self defense, He found out I was transgender and attacked me, When I got here they were both on the ground, I swear I didn't do it!" She cries "Hey, I don't think you did sweetie, I know it was Peter" I say. "Yes operator I need 2 ambulances to the Drake household Immediately, It's my partner and her twin sister there not breathing, PLEASE hurry ASAP there may be time to save them, they just stopped breathing less than 2 minutes ago, and I know Peter Hastings had something to do with it my partner just heard him making threats and he was next door, please make sure he's taken into custody" I say my voice shaking with panic" "We're dispatching ems to your location now" The dispatcher says "Thank you" I say hanging up. "CeCe you need to go get on a plane now, with your history of suicide attempts and radley we can't risk you getting in trouble even if it was self defense I'm telling you as a lawyer, go find Melissa in London and lay low, have you seen the girls?" I ask hoping she has seen them "Yes, they're not in rosewood, I don't know if I should say" She says in hysterics "Hey if they get to the hospital in time they may be ok, it's alright, go before the cops come, I don't want to explain why you snuck out of a stay at a mental unit again, I'll try Toby he's probably with them" I don't know why we didn't think of that earlier I say hugging my daughter, she was so depressed we had to admit her again, now I need to keep her out from behind bars. I dial toby's number he answers "Toby, It's Veronica, it's serious, are Spencer and Alex with you? Mary and Jessica are dead I'm waiting on EMS, praying that they can be revived, stay clear of Peter Hastings at all costs right now, he's highly dangerous" I hear sirens in the background, ems is close, I finish the conversation emotionally with Spencer and Alex on the other end, explaining to them. I feel for a pulse to double check, nothing. When they arrive with the police I tell them the whole story and drive to the ER holding onto hope, if one of them makes it and the other one doesn't I don't think either can handle it, and if they can't revive them.. I don't even want to go there they have to be able to do something, A nurse explains to me that Peter was found with 4 empty bottles of blood pressure pills and sleeping pills, that gave them a fighting chance at least we knew they had been overdosed and on what. Now all I could do was wait for Spencer and Alex to get here, keep praying they could save my partner and Jessica.
Spencer's POV: Toby handed me the phone with a rather upset look on his face "Spence it's your mother, Veronica, it's serious" He says upset a stray tear running down his face "Mother, what's going on?" I ask "Oh honey I don't know how to tell you and Alex.. Your mom and Aunt Jessica are dead, Peter killed them both, were trying to rush them to the hospital thankfully i found out right after they passed out in the backyard there's hope they can be revived. I need you two to come home though please wherever you are I need my daughters" She cried into the phone. "Were in new York with Ali a lot is going on, we finally found Ali though, I can't believe mom's gone this feels like a nightmare" I cry into the phone. "Why? They were two of the nicest people in rosewood" Alex cries "Just come home immediately and please bring Ali with you, it's time for her to come home too, I have to go, I don't want to give you false hope, I'll update you, I love you 3" My mother says hanging up. I bury myself in Alex's shoulder "I'm so sorry Spence, Alex I never wanted to leave you, especially like this, please remember how much I loved you, I'm always in your heart" I heard my mom, she really was gone and she just came to me and Alex. "What just happened?" Ali says worried "Ali our mom's are dead, yours and mine, murdered by Peter Hastings, they are rushing them to the ER to see if they can be resuscitated, Our mother found them before it had been too long, we need to go back to rosewood, I'm sorry girls this is an emergency" I say. "My mom's dead aunt Mary too? please tell me this isn't happening I was about to go see her for the first time in years" Ali begins to cry "Hey, Let's just hope the ER can help them" Alex says "You guys should go, take the train to phili and the bus the rest of the way" Toby says "We're right behind you, besides Aria shot Shauna it's best we get out of nyc" Emily says "Yeah it's time to go home" Hannah and Caleb agree "I'll go with you I can't stay here" Aria says. I get a text from my mother, they revived them, they are on oxgygen and keep coding, weak thready pulse still unconscious, at least theirs hope now, it took about 4 hours to get home Ali, Alex and I headed straight for the ER, There was my mother waiting in the lobby "Thank god" She said wrapping her arms around the 3 of us. "Hows my mom?" Ali asks "It's touch and go with both of them" my mother states "When can we go back and see them?" I ask, I want my mom. "In the morning they're in the cardiac icu" I bury my head into my mother "Thank you for being the best 2nd mom anyone could wish for, I'm glad your ok, he could of hurt you too" I say crying "Were all glad your ok" Alex pipes in. "Come on let's make ourselves comfy on the couches, I'm certainly not leaving till I know they're going to make it" "Us either" We say simultaneously. The police came to talk to Ali and all of us about everything, our mother was in shock by how much Alison had been through, she vowed to take care of Ali if her mom didn't make it. Waiting seemed like forever we got some sleep at least, every 3 hours the dr would update us, mom was still unconscious and her pulse was extremely weak and thready the dr was not sure if they'd even wake up. By 6am they let us back to their room, there was mom and aunt Jessica hooked up to machines and a canola for oxygen, something inside me broke, the woman who gave birth to me was fighting for her life I grasped her hand "If you can hear me, were all here, I need you to pull through and wake up, please I need you mom, please don't die on us again" I say tearing up all over again, I feel so sick "They are fighters" the nurse comments. Ali sat by her mothers side I could tell how upset she was, Alex sat at the end of moms bed "If we had been home maybe this wouldn't of happened" She says upset "Hey, this is not on anyone but Peter" My mother says upset herself. We sat patiently for most of the day talking and watching the news, Aria updated us that Ezra was stable, Toby was worried about me. Alex was still in shock, we all were. It was about 6pm when I saw my mom wriggle around having a cold sweat, I could see my aunt starting to move as well. Suddenly moms eyes shot open "This isn't the after life" She weakly stated aunt Jessica awoke too "No it's not, Alison is that really you?" Aunt Jessica asked in shock "Yes mom it's me, I'm so glad your awake" She responds. "CeCe found both of you right after you passed out I called 911, you were both dead for over 10 minutes, they found empty vials of blood pressure pills and sleeping pills on Peter" My mother states. "He must of found a way to dissolve it into our water, Spencer, Alex, Veronica, Alison your all here" My mom states disoriented I squeeze her hand "Yes we're here, you came to me while you were dead, we were all scared neither of you would make it, please don't leave us like that again" I say holding back tears. "Please tell me they are charging Peter" My mom says "Yes, he's going away for a very long time, I'm making sure he never sets foot near this family again" my mother assures both of them, the nurse comes in their pulse is still a bit weak and thready their blood pressures were getting better. They want to take a week to make sure they are fully stable before sending them home, visiting hours are over soon our mom and aunt Jessica told our mother to take us home and take care of Ali, of course I was there after school every day for a week with my family refusing to leave my moms side even if I felt extremely sick. I felt horrible for Alison, it turned out her mom had been drugged the night she buried Ali alive, so much was coming out of the woodworks. I was sleeping in my mothers bed with her because I was scared and was a momma's girl, Ali slept in my bed, meanwhile Alex was putting on a brave face, CeCe was off in Europe somewhere because of what she did to Wilden, our family was a mess. I was very protective over both my mom's, My mother had been there from the day Alex and I were born, she was no less my mom than my biological mom. After a week had passed Aunt Jessica and my mom were home it was a relief, the first night my mom held me in her sleep, comforted by my mother and I's presence it was far from easy for me, I just loved both of them so much. Toby came over to talk to me, he was furious with Peter and wanted to see him locked up for good, we sat for a few hours before he went home I am grateful to have seen him. Mom and Aunt Jessica keep fearing they will find out this isn't real and they are still dead it's hard to watch them struggle so hard I told my aunt that I loved her and that we all needed to sick together. I just hope that Peter rots in hell, I refuse to call that man my father especially after what he had put my moms through for years he was too dangerous to even be out in general population so they shoved him into solitary, that made me feel a little better.
Mary's Pov: It had been a little over a week since the overdose that was lethal, I was finally home with my twin daughters and my partner, they had finally found my niece, she and my twin we're next door with her son Jason adjusting back to life. Jessica and I did die and almost didn't make it through being resuscitated, I still was afraid this wasn't real, I was back in my body though, Veronica had work, she took a few days off at least, I insisted she go back to work though, Alex and Spencer wouldn't leave my side though, I let them take a few days off from school, they were such sweet good kids. I know I never want to go through anything like that again, it was horrifying, just thinking about it, I want to be here for my family, not in the after life. I was reading a book when my twin knocked on the door with Alison "I thought we could have lunch together, I know I see you practically every day but I still miss you" Jessica says hugging me tightly. "Of course come in, I'm grateful you came over, I miss you too, living next door isn't close enough" I say holding onto her. "I don't really get this whole twin thing, you two are seriously like joint at the hip though" Alison comments "Only twins get it" Spencer says walking downstairs with Alex, I let go of Jessica. I see all 3 girls look down at their phones trying to hide a scared look "What's going on?" I ask concerned it seemed like they had been getting threats they won't talk about it though. "Nothing, don't worry, it's just the girls checking on us" all 3 of them say something definitely isn't right and Mona had been released from radley, which was now closed permanently, was A starting her games again? I almost took their phones but I let it go for now. We had a nice conversation, and made a Pizza for lunch, Jessica and Alison stuck around Ali went upstairs with Spencer and Alex. Jessica and I curled up on the couch next to eachother and watched a movie she stuck around till Veronica got home and then hugged me goodnight Veronica thanked her for sitting with me while she was gone Jessica hugged her gently thanking her for getting us to the ER and being so understanding. Most peoples partners would be jealous but Veronica understood we were identical twins and that there was nothing to be jealous about, it was a completely different type of relationship. Veronica and I had Spencer sleep in her own bed tonight explaining that she needed to readjust to sleeping in her own bed she surprisingly didn't protest, Of course Veronica and I took time to be intimate now that we had the room to ourselves. We fell asleep tangled up in eachother only to wake up to Spencer having a nightmare I went to go get up "I've got it, it's ok you can go back to bed" Alex says gently "Thank you" I say I could hear Spencer crying. My heart broke for my baby it was hard not to insist on comforting her, I trusted Alex had the situation under control though, Sometimes I just needed my twin too. A few weeks later our lives got turned even more upside down, Mona was pronounced dead by homicide and pretty shortly after Ali was in jail for killing her, I couldn't believe the cops thought Alison was capable of that kind of thing, Ali and her friends, my daughters were kind and well liked. Then Hannah got arrested, then it was all the girls including Spencer and Alex, Veronica and I promised to try to appeal the charges, their transport van to prison had gone missing. Peter was now missing from solitary, that's when Ali told us about A starting up again after Jessica, Veronica and I paid her a visit, I had a sick feeling Peter had them. I went to Caleb, Ezra and Toby with Veronica and Jessica, we went down to the precinct and Caleb tracked down where the vehicle had stopped. The girls were missing for weeks even After Alison was released after they found footage of Mona with Peter alive running an underground bunker, the other mom's in their tribe of friends were a mess too. Alison had snuck out of police protection thinking she was being lead to them, Toby was now an officer himself, I respected him and hoped he was with my niece, a few hours later they had all been found over in the middle of the woods. Spencer said they called the place the dollhouse and made replica rooms of our own, it was a horror story what they described going through, Peter had teamed up with Mona because he considered Spencer and Alex a problem and he went out of his way to remind them every day they were down there, he tried to drive them to suicide. The other girls had it pretty bad too, to Mona they were all just dolls though. I never wanted to let go of either of them again, Veronica and I held them close reminding them that what Peter and Mona said was not true and that they were loved and were not a problem at all. The first few nights they slept with Veronica and I, They hadn't caught Peter yet and that scared all of us, Jessica was with me all day as a result rather than going to work. It had been almost a week since they had been home now, it was late and I could tell something was wrong with Spencer, it was almost like telepathy I felt her depression in a rush of emotions. Alex ran into her room "Spencer! Oh my god, Mom's help! why Spence you could have come talked to any of us, I can't lose you" Veronica and I came running seeing red trickling down Spencers arm and hand I started to cry "Baby stay with me, I'm right here, I wish you'd of come to me" I say, Veronica runs for the first aid kit. I lift up up her sleeve she slit her wrist from end to end, there was so much red, I was in shock crying my eyes out Jessica telepathically asked me what was wrong in a panic I explained she said she'd meet us outside soon. Veronica came back "We need to get her to the ER Mary she could bleed out" It was then I noticed the empty bottle of sedatives on the edge of Spencers bed "She overdosed! oh my god how did I not know she was at this point?" I ask myself. "Spence stay with us, were going to get you help, sweetheart you should have said something" Veronica says gently applying pressure to her arm "I just want the pain to stop, can't you let me bleed out?" She slurs out. "Spencer we need you alive, I can't go through losing you like this, your my precious baby" I say in tears. We get her into the car, I stop to hug my twin who is crying too "She's going to be ok Mary, Hey I love you, be strong she needs you" My twin says "I love you too, I need to go, the sooner we get her looked at the better, she's losing a lot of blood" I say letting go, she squeezed my hand gently "Breathe" Jessica says, I get into the car with Veronica and Alex speeding off. They have to use special stitch tape to close the wound, they wrap Spencers arm in gauze wrap and pump her stomach, she woke up the next afternoon "Thank god, my sweet baby, you scared me half to death, please next time talk to me, or someone, I can't lose you Spence, sweetheart you have no idea how heartbroken I am, I love you, my family is my world, your too precious to do this to yourself" I say emotional crying. "You nearly gave me a heart attack sweetie, Please don't ever do that again, we love you" Veronica say's upset "I can't lose my twin, you can always talk to me about anything ok? I love you" Alex says tearing up "I just kept hearing Peter saying I was a problem that was better off dead, I'm so depressed and upset, in a mentally horrifying place, I just wanted it to stop" She says hoarsely. "Hey, were in this with you, I've got you baby, your not a problem to me at all your my sweet child, oh honey, it's ok, let it out, I'm right here" I say holding my daughter close, she cries into my shoulder burying herself in me, I cradled her head gently she was so, fragile. The nurse and dr come in, they have to send her to a mental unit my heart breaks for her all over again, what if they keep her for a long time or won't let me take her home? Veronica argued but it was no use, they'd be sending her tomorrow to a place called wellby now that radley was shut down, I still remember finding her in there after she thought Toby was dead. The dr wanted to talk to Spencer alone, I could tell she was keeping something from me, she didn't even let me see her lab results, the dr's kept telling her to just tell me which concerned me, I asked what was wrong but she just said it wasn't a big deal "Your going to have to be strong, I promise I'll visit and get you out as soon as I can, you really do need help though" I say gently "I know, I did this to myself" She says holding onto me, the dr's let me spend the night with her because shes a minor, Veronica and Alex stay till visiting hours are over, they come and take Spencer in the morning. I get home and am greeted in the driveway by my twin "She's in the mental unit, she slit her wrist badly and overdosed" I cry hugging her "Hey she won't be there long, it'll be ok Mary, it's not like it was with us" Jessica says gently. We go inside and talk, I remembered our parents calling us a problem and abandoning us at radley when we were 14 all because a baby had stopped breathing on our watch, although they always hated us "At least you love her unconditionally, our parents didn't even want us" Jessica reminds me. "I promised myself I'd be nothing like our parents and I'm not, they whipped and beat us all the time, sexually abused us, left us bleeding, I never laid a hand on my kids that way" I say upset. "I still feel guilty about what Peter made me do to Alison the night she went missing, I didn't even remember" Jessica confesses. "Your not a bad mom" I remind her "Neither are you, Spencer is struggling with ptsd that doesn't mean your a bad mom, just be there for her unconditionally" Jessica says "I'll always be there for her, I'd never abandon my baby" I say emotional. "I'm not going anywhere Mary, it's ok, nothing will ever come between us, you've got a family that loves you now" Jessica says gently sensing my emotional state "I know, I just don't know what I'd do without you, promise me you'll come to me if you ever feel like hurting yourself again" I say "I promise if you promise me the same thing" She says "I promise you, I'd never leave you like that" I say teary eyed. We spent the afternoon together, Jessica skipped work, she left when Alex got home from school hugging her goodbye, I could hear Alison in the background "Honey you should go to the police if your still getting anonymous texts it could be Peter" My twin says "Alex? are you still getting them?" I ask "Yes, a lot of death threats, I didn't want you to get hurt or aunt Jessica, Spence got a text, the next thing I knew.. She had already hurt herself" She says upset. "Baby you should of said something" I say upset I go outside and talk with Jessica and Ali with Alex, Jessica and I make them go to the police, Unfortunately the cops can't trace the texts, at least they know now though. I hold Alex tight "He's not going to get away with this" I say emotional when we get home, Alex is shaking I sit her down, stroking her hair gently, pretty soon Veronica is back from work. "Hey, What's going on?" She asks concerned "Peter has been texting the girls threats from a blocked number" I say upset "Why the hell haven't they caught him already?" She asks putting her arms around Alex "He's obviously good at hiding" I say concerned myself. We talk everything over and agree on getting an alarm system put in for everyone's safety, we eat dinner and I go outside to say goodnight to Jessica. I crawl into bed with Veronica, I'm going to visit Spencer tomorrow and talk to the dr's in person. When I get there they say she's been asleep since her dad came yesterday, I nearly lost it, I explained the situation, the hospital is in trouble for letting him in they have to notify the police suddenly the nurse came rushing out of Speners room, Her vitals are dangerously low we need to get her to an Er and there's whip marks bleeding on her back. After some arguing they agree to let me go with her and have her released from the unit, they dont want the blame for this one. I stayed by my baby's side once she was back at the ER, they found high amounts of phenobarbital in her system, they were optimistic she'd be ok in the immediate but insisted I talk to my daughter about her diagnosis, I didn't understand, I had notified Veronica and Jessica who was now working part time currently due to everything, I still was taking a break from my work at the lost woods resort. Jessica came to the ER to sit with me, there wasn't anything they could do other than flush her system right now, as it was obvious she'd been injected with it directly I was still in shock, reeling, this was the 3rd time I almost lost her lately. I was half tempted to sue the unit for letting him onto it in the first place, my twin just prayed they found him soon, and that they did. The scum tried to come to the ER and sign Spencer out, now he was headed to a maximum security prison where he belonged and my family now had a permanent restraining order. Jessica went home when Veronica got here to check on Spencer, she was a wreck over what Peter had done she couldn't understand how she ever married such a horrible person and she was scared of losing Spencer, she blamed herself.
Spencer's POV: I awake disoriented, how did I get to the ER? I started to flash back "Hey, your going to be ok, I'm right here sweetheart" My mom says grasping my hand gently, grounding me. she called for the nurse, who checked me over and called for the dr. My mom held me close as the nurse left I felt her kiss my head "You are precious and you can't be replaced, You are so loved sweetheart don't ever forget that" She says looking at me with tears in her eyes, she kissed my forehead gently running her hand through my hair. "He raped me" I whisper crying "Oh my baby I'm so sorry" She choked out I rested my head against hers taking in the feeling of safety she gave me, she cradled me rocking me back and forth. "Just hold me for a while, I love you too, I couldn't of asked for better mom's" I say emotional. I knew my time was limited they told me I had end stage Leukemia last time I was here, I had genetic options but regular chemo wasn't going to do, I had gone out of my way to make sure nobody knew but the dr's. i had been pretty sick for a while now and had just done a good job at hiding it, especially the weight loss and lethargy, all the vomiting up blood, I was severely anemic. "Shh just breathe, I've got you, your safe now, I'm not going anywhere" She says snuggling up to me. At least I wasn't running much of a fever or there would of been a million questions. When the Dr comes in he explains the situation about my overdose and lash marks, he told me to just tell my mom what was going on but I can't, shes losing me, it'll break her heart. My mom insists I get a rape kit, I know my mom's history she was molested too. I have to talk to the police and give a statement they take pictures fingernail swabs and do the kit, my mom holds my hand through the whole thing. The dr isn't happy that I haven't told my mom how sick I am but he respects my wishes because in his eyes I'm terminally ill. They give me a pill to prevent pregnancy and a shot for any possible std's that I might of gotten, by the end of it I felt so ashamed "It's ok you can go home if you want, I know I'm bad and dirty.. my own biological dad" I cry. "Hey, I told you I wasn't going anywhere, your not bad or dirty, he molested you and he's sick.. Nothing can make me want any less or love you less, your my sweet baby" She held me protectively emotional. I could feel her heartbreaking "How could anyone still want me?" I cry into her shoulder "Baby your worth is not defined by what he did" She says stroking my hair "What'd I ever do to deserve a mom like you?" I ask, she was so supportive, kind, gentle, emotional and caring, she really loves me with all her heart, how can I tell her I'm dying?. "Your a good, kind, amazing person with a huge heart, you deserve every bit of love, my parents were awful I promised I'd be the opposite" She says emotional. "You are the opposite of abusive" I say trying to comfort her "Thank you, for being you" She says emotional "You have no idea how much you mean to me mom" I say kissing her cheek "Your going to get through this Ill be there every step so will your other mom and Alex" She says trying to reassure me. We talk about having me go see Dr Sullivan, finally the nurse lets me shower with her supervision, I scrub every piece of Peter off me and crawl back into the hospital bed "Get some rest sweetheart" My mom says gently. I knodded off only to wake up screaming "I've got you, it's just a flashback, your safe now" She says gently "I'm scared mommy" I whisper, she pulls me close "Just breathe, he can't hurt you anymore" she says gently. I fell back asleep safe in her arms, I kept waking up though it was a long night, The dr came in first thing in the morning, they wanted to monitor me for 2 more days, I was too tired to protest. My mom refused to leave my side, we watched tv trying to pass the time, Aunt Jessica came back and visited for a few hours, she expressed how sorry she was for what I was going through and that she was always there if I wanted to talk to someone other than my mom's or Alex, I thanked her for the support and for being an amazing aunt. My mother comes after work, she insists my mom go home and rest, see Alex, that she'll stay tonight with me, she protests but my mother insists, I get scared about my mom leaving but I keep it to myself reminding myself my mother would be here. After my mom left she tried to make sure I was ok and comfortable, she kissed my forehead gently running her hands through my deep burgundy hair Alex and I inherited from my mom. "I'm sorry Spencer I feel like if I hadn't married him this wouldn't of happened to you" She confesses "Hey, it's not on you, it's on him, I don't blame you at all, your a good mother" I say trying to be supportive. "Your a lot stronger than you realize, I don't know if I could get through what your going through" She says "i promised mom and Alex I wouldn't commit suicide.. I have no choice other than to be strong unless I want to end up back on the mental unit or actually die" I say trying to hold myself together, I can't tell her how sick I am, I'm surprised Alex hasn't read my mind yet. "It's ok to break down sometimes" My mother says looking at me teary eyed "Come here" I say reaching out my hands, she wraps her arms around me sitting on the bed, we both cried. I made space for her to lie down and she held me close to her trying to comfort me, I was so emotionally raw right now, I fell asleep with the tv on resting my head on my mothers shoulder, it was another long night of nightmares. My mother had to leave for work early in the morning, she promised my mom would be there soon though, instead aunt Jessica came to sit with me for a while "Your mom had to take Alex to therapy, she's a mess over what happened to you Spencer, your mom's only told her so much, your twin is definitely not ok, then again neither your mom or I were ok growing up with what happened to us" Aunt Jessica says. "I'm trying to remember I didn't deserve what happened, it's hard though, I kind of blame myself, just for existing" I state "Peter is sick, none of this is a reflection of you, Hey, your still my niece and I still love you, were all upset about what he did, I just want you safe and protected from him right now" She says. She holds my hand gently "Thank you for being here and being supportive" I say, I was lucky to have such a warm caring aunt "Of course your my family, I'm always here for you" She says. The dr comes in again and talks about my progress, the lash marks had started to heal, my vitals were stabilizing, the bruising was getting better when he leaves my aunt is in shock, she didn't realize the extent of my injuries, she explains just how abusive her parents were. "I knew it was really bad, I didn't realize it was quite that bad, I'm so sorry you and my mom went through this too" I say "You know none of us would intentionally hurt you in this family Spencer" She says upset "I know, your a safe person" I say gently. I saw 2 strong survivors even more than before, my mom had lived through a nightmare of a childhood, her and aunt Jessica had even tried running away and were brought back by the police multiple times. The nurse came in to ask if I wanted to shower, I grabbed the opportunity even though this was my last day here, my mom was there when I got out with Alex who nearly crushed me in a hug "I miss you, please get better, I'm here for you Spence, I love you" she says "It'll be ok Alex, I love you too" I reassure her. "If I ever see him again, I'll really let him have it, I wish I could have his dna removed" Alex says "I know the feeling" I say. "Jess can you drop Alex at school before you go to work?" My mom asks, Alex lets go of me "Sure, I don't mind, come on Alex, we can stop and get coffee on the way" my aunt says putting her hand on Alex's shoulder. "Can't I take the day off? I want to be with Spencer" Alex asks "You can come back after school, ok?" my mom says, Alex nods her head. My mom hugs me tightly "Hows my baby today?" She asks "Awake, less weak, emotionally raw, how are you holding up?" I ask "Honestly it's hard, I went through so much abuse, I never wanted you to know what abuse felt like, I just wanted you to be cared for, safe and loved, now you've lived through your own horror story, I feel responsible" She says tearing up. "Mom, I wouldn't trade you for anything, You've done everything you can for me, don't let him make you feel like a bad parent" I say gently. The nurse comes in and hooks me back up to the IV "You really need to tell your mom, before she finds out on her own" the nurse says. My mom lies down next to me her skinny body holding me close "I love you sweetie, your my heart, you can tell me anything" She says gently "I love you too mommy, more than you know, it's nothing really, it's not like I'm pregnant or have aids" I say relaxing into her, she doesn't seem convinced but doesn't want to pry. "I'll feel better once your safe at home tomorrow" She says "I'll feel better too, this place is traumatic" I say "If it's any consolation you get the next week off from school" My mom says looking at me "I was looking forward to going back" I say. "Dr's orders" She says gently. We spend the day together, snuggled up to each other, Alex comes by after school, we spend some time talking. My mother stops by after work again, this time my mom spends the night insisting she wasn't going to leave me, it told me just how important I am to her, she really does love me and still wants me. I wanted to tell both of them, I just can't though, in the morning they finally let me go home when I arrive the first thing I do is shower and change my clothes, my mom sits me down on the couch and holds me close. "I'm not leaving you alone right now" She says stroking my hair "I won't try to hurt myself again, I won't leave you like that" I say gently, knowing my time is limited "I need you close" She says emotional "Hey, Peter's locked up, Mona's in the mental unit, everything will get better" I say trying to assure her this won't last forever, even if she's losing me. "I just want you by my side, I need to be there for you, my parents weren't there for me, I need to help you heal and give you what my parents never gave me, nurturing" She says I feel tears fall onto my hair. "Hey, you are helping me heal and your right here, more than most parents would be" I say gently tearing up myself "Thank you baby, your so kind, I raised you right" She says softly. Soon it was time for lunch, she made pasta, it was better than hospital food, we watch tv and relax into each other until Alex gets home from school. "Hey Ali, she's back!" I'm greeted by my twin and my cousin "I'm glad your home" Ali says hugging me gently "Things aren't the same without you here" Alex says "Thank you, both of you for the support" I say shaking slightly, after all the abuse I was slightly afraid of touch. Ali felt the lashes on my back "I'm sorry if we startled you" She says feeling me shake "It's just a hug Spence" Alex says gently "It's not just that, he got on the mental unit and raped me" I whisper. "What? mom did Peter rape Spencer?" Alex blurts out "Unfortunately, yes, your sister was molested by him.. It just wasn't my place to say" Mom says trying to hold herself together. "That's just sick, you share his dna" Ali says upset "What can we do to help?" Alex asks "Just be here for me" I say crying "Hey Sis I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you" Alex says gently I bury my head in her shoulder "It just.. Changed me, I'm not the same" I say "I get it Spencer, I'm not the same after prison" Ali says. We talk for a few minutes "Ali, why don't you go do your homework with Alex, Spencer is still recovering" My mom says "Of course, hey, it was good to see you Spencer" Ali says walking upstairs with Alex. I stumble back to the couch, looking like a ghost with a fever, my mom catches me and holds me close "Your going to be ok baby" She says trying to soothe me "I'm just trying to remember to breathe" I say crying. "Hey, I've got you, your safe" She says resting her head against mine "Just don't leave me right now" i whisper "I promise I'm not going anywhere, it's ok, deep breaths" she says. "I hate what he did to me" i cry "I know baby I hate it too" She says understandingly "I really wish I could have his dna removed, I don't want to see him ever again" i say "You won't see him ever again if I can help it" She says "As long as he stays in prison" I say. My mom holds me for the rest of the afternoon until Jessica comes looking for Ali "She's doing homework with Alex" My mom says "It's so good to see you home Spencer" my aunt says holding me with my mom 'It's good to be home" I say trying to hold myself together. "You want to have dinner together Mary" Aunt Jessica asks "Sure, I'll message Veronica and let her know, we can get take out" My mom says, i don't mind I like my aunt. "I'm going to go check on the girls" Aunt Jessica says getting up "She's been through hell, she understands where your at Spencer, your aunt is a safe person you can trust" My mom says reassuring me "I know, I'm lucky to have such an understanding family" I say gently. "Yes, you are lucky, and we are lucky to have you in our lives" My mom says "Thank you, for everything your doing for me" I say grateful "That's what parents are supposed to do, I'll always be here up until my last breath" She says. "You better live a long life mom" I say half joking half serious "I'll do my best Spence, tomorrow is never promised" She says, my mind flashes back to when she died briefly and my own diagnosis. "I'm not ready to lose you anytime soon, your right though tomorrow is never promised" I say "I don't plan on leaving you baby, I love you too much" She says cradling my head trying to comfort me, if only she knew how sick I was. Aunt Jessica comes back downstairs and watches tv with my mom and I until mother gets home from work, then we order Chinese food and have a nice family dinner, before I know it, bedtime has come my mom says goodnight to aunt Jessica and Ali. "So, do you want to sleep in your own bed or would you rather sleep with your mother and I tonight? Alex offered to let you sleep with her but she needs her rest" My mom asks gently "I think I'll sleep with you, if that's ok, I don't want to overstep, it's just the nightmares are still bad, I feel safter sleeping with you and Mother, being in your arms calms me" I say sheepishly. "I figured, it's ok Spencer, I wouldn't of offered if it wasn't, why don't you go get changed?" She says stroking my hair, I go get changed, Alex comes in to say goodnight to me "I love you, Please get some rest" She says "I'll try, I love you too sis, more than you know" I say hugging her tightly, I let go. I head for mom's room, she wraps her arms around me, cradling me as I lay down next to her. "Sweet dreams Angel, we love you" she says kissing my hair, I bury my head in her shoulder "We're right here if you need anything" Mother says leaning ove my mom to kiss my hair "Thank you, I love you both too, goodnight" I say emotional. They kiss eachother goodnight and I drift off to sleep, suddenly I'm back on the unit, he's inside me and I'm barely breathing I try to scream but it's no use "Get off me!" I whisper out of breath. Suddenly I jolt awake crying silently, I don't want to wake my moms "It's just a flashback baby, your safe, I've got you" My mom whispers gently trying not to wake mother. She strokes my hair trying to calm me "Thank you mommy" I whisper crying into her shoulder "Shh, just let it out" She whispers gently after a few minutes I stop crying and fall back asleep relaxing into my mom. I keep waking up at least every 2 hours, my mom doesn't seem to mind comforting me, thankfully I don't disturb mother, even though tomorrow is a weekend I want her to get some rest, I don't want to keep both of them up. By the time I wake up for the morning it's 8am, they already left a cup of coffee by the bedside for me "Hey, sweetheart your up" My mom says gently running her hands through my hair looking at me lovingly. "Thank you, for being there to comfort me" I say, it was a long night "That's what mom's do" She says planting a kiss on my forehead. I sit up and sip on my coffee, soon I start to actually wake up "I'm going to go use the bathroom, then can I just lay down with you for a little bit?" I ask "Of course you know I'm here for you Spencer, whatever you need" She says, Part of me wants to tell her I'm dying but I can't it'll crush her completely. I get up use the bathroom brush my teeth, scrub my face and climb back into bed, mom and I talk while she holds me, she comforts me through the fear. I go down for breakfast eventually, Alex is waiting for me patiently trying to be supportive, I curl up with her for a little bit on the couch, then Toby comes by to check on me, he stays for an hour. Then the girls come over in the afternoon, Alex and Alison ask them to be gentle and give me some space, I don't want to talk much about what happened. They all remind me I can talk to them if I'm ever feeling that way and I thank them for the support, they stay for a few hours and try to make my day just a little brighter. My cousin stays a little longer, Aunt Jessica comes and gets her after she finishes running her errands I go lay down in my bed exhausted, my mom comes and checks on me "Just making sure your safe Spence" She says gently "About as much as I can be" I say.
Mary's POV: I check to make sure my daughter is not too overloaded, I can tell she's hiding something, "Can you just hold me for a few minutes?" Spencer asks sheepishly "Of course baby" I say crawling into bed with her, I wrap my arms tight around her and kiss her hair gently, she's so soft sometimes but she's amazingly strong and resilient, like me, Alex is usually trying to hold it together and be strong, she's not quite as affectionate as Spencer is with me. Veronica comes in and holds her from the other side, trying to comfort Spencer "Do you want to talk about it?" Veronica asks gently. "It's just seeing everyone around me living a more normal life and then looking at my traumatized self, what I've been through, I feel like I'm incomplete, not enough, not normal, barely even counting as human, I have almost no value" She says breaking down. "Hey, baby it's going to take time to heal and you definitely have value, so much, your not worthless or disposable Spence, there's only one of you and you can't be replaced" I say softly trying to comfort her. "The only expectation we have out of you right now, is just that you don't give up and take the time to get better" Veronica says gently. "I'm not giving up, It's just a lot of trauma to process, and I feel like my value is lower than dirt" Spencer says "I know it's hard honey, take your time and don't forget you are loved dearly" Veronica says "Healing is a life long process Spence, it doesn't happen overnight, go easy on yourself and remember you are irreplaceable" I say gently. "Thank you mom's, your always so kind, understanding and loving" She cried into my shoulder "That's how mom's are supposed to be, we love you unconditionally no matter what" Veronica say's, I know she had a tough upbringing too, although it wasn't as bad as mine. We just held Spencer while she cried into me "Your safe" I whisper gently cradling her head, it broke my heart to see my daughter so distraught and traumatized, I might be falling apart if it wasn't for Veronica and Jessica's support. I still remember the day I confronted Peter and Veronica, Melissa was just a little kid *Flashback* "Peter not only did you rape me, you got me pregnant with twins, you basically raped my twin too, this is the 2nd time you've cheated on Veronica that I know of and gotten someone else pregnant, your a serial rapist I know what you did in college and highschool, you have a problem". I say as he opens the door to their apartment "Peter seriously is this true? Did you force yourself on Mary and cheat on me again? You promised me you wouldn't do this again" Veronica asks seeing my baby bump showing. I had saved Veronica from getting sexually assaulted once, at a bar when she got ruphied in college, she secretly had feelings for me since college and saw me for the first time, walking to the library but she pretended to be straight. I was having my own fling with Pastor ted and she kept her feelings to herself, society still shunned same sex relationships for the most part back then. "She wanted it, she's lying both her and Jessica pushed themselves on me, just admit your a whore Mary" He sneered. "You know I filed a police report, I got a rape kit, you bribed the cops to keep quiet and sweep it under the rug, Veronica deserves better than a dishonest cheater who abuses women, she deserves to be treated right and loved unconditionally not treated like a human punching bag that's worthless" I say angry, protective over the emotionally distraught woman infront of me who was shaking in tears bruised up. "You are abusive Peter, your always drunk, you wake me up just to force me to have sex in the middle of the night, I find out you rape other women and you've beaten me almost on a daily basis now, I only stayed with you because of Melissa, now that you've gotten Mary pregnant too, I'm leaving you and taking Melissa, I'm not staying with a rapist anymore, I do deserve better than living in a domestic violence, Melissa deserves better" Veronica says "Oh please quit thinking I'll even let you leave let alone with my daughter, your practically my property, you don't even have a place to go, what are you going to live out of a hotel? I'm not letting you off this lease" He sneers "Jessica and I bought houses next to each other, Veronica and Melissa can stay with me as long as she wants, if she wants to Peter, I mean I am having Melissa's half siblings" I say protectively. Veronica took my hand "I'm so sorry he did this to you, and if you really mean it, I'd like a chance to stay with you, get to know you better, after all you are having my daughters siblings, we're connected" Veronica says teary eyed 'I'll bury you both before I let you dykes leave together, like hell" he drew out a pistol before he could react Veronica had already dialed 911, his gun discharged but he missed thankfully, he tried to shoot again but he was out of bullets, he came at us and I kicked him so hard in the balls it knocked him out. The police showed up and took Peter down to the station for questioning, "You saved me, again, I deserve a lot better than how he treats me, I'm just so used to abuse, I deserve someone who would never hurt me and truly wants me, like you" Veronica looked me deep in the eyes stroking my face gently, our noses brushed, then we kissed for the first time, it was unlike anything either of us experienced, it felt right. Peter was charged but was sent for a psych hold instead of jail, Veronica got a small uhaul while he was gone and removed everything important, she sold her wedding ring to make sure she didn't end up broke and filed for divorce immediately, Peter got one weekend a month with Melissa but no joint custody given the situation, he was lucky he got to see her at all, he lost half his finances too. Veronica and Melissa had lived here since that day I spoke up, until Melissa and CeCe went off to college together at Upenn. I remember their first night here how Veronica and I stayed up late drinking wine and talking about ourselves and our lives, she was a lawyer, I was the owner of the lost woods resort who was involved with politics. I still remember Kenneth complaining that it wasn't bad enough it wasn't bad enough Jessica's sister had to let her child dress like a girl but was now starting a relationship with one and raising kids with her, let alone with Peters soon to be ex wife. Jessica told him he could leave if he didn't like it and miss out on getting to know the baby girl they just found out they were having, it wasn't until Kenneth found out his bloodtype didn't add up with Jasons that Jessica told him the truth and he left when Alison was only a few years old, leaving Jessica, Veronica and I to bring up our kids together living next door to eachother, as a family. As much as I can't imagine my life without Veronica I'd choose my twin over my relationship if I had to, thankfully Veronica and Jessica were just fine being a family, actually they were grateful *Flashback ends* Spencer and Alex had come out of that mess, Veronica adopted them and CeCe once it was legal for a child to have 2 moms, she was more than happy to raise our family together, the 4 of them were both our kids. I felt Spencer's cry's slow "We're going to get through this together" I say reassuring her "I know, I'm not alone" She says gently "No, your not, don't let that sexually abusive prick control your life" Veronica says. "I'm doing the best I can to get through this" She says starting to fade "I'm going to let you take a nap, you look exhausted" I say Veronica and I move to get up but she holds onto me "Stay, Please mommy" I she practically begs. "Ok, Hey, it's alright, I'm here" I say resting my head against hers "I'm going to go check on Alex" Veronica says exiting the room, I start to drift off to sleep with Spencer. "Hey, sweetheart it's time for dinner" Veronica says waking Spencer and I up, she seemed to be running a slight fever "Is it that late already?" I ask "You slept through 3 and a half hours" She states gently "I guess neither of us got much sleep last night" Spencer says. We get up and head downstairs, eating dinner with the family, "Why don't we watch a movie together?" Veronica suggests "Sure" Spencer says "You and Alex can go pick something" I say. They pick an old movie "Vertigo" I guess they were on an Alfred Hitchcock roll, I sat down beside Spencer and watched intently, when the movie is done we talk for a little bit and then get ready for bed. Spencer goes to sleep in her own bed "Are you sure, I don't mind if you spend another night with us" I say "Really mom it's ok, I need to get used to sleeping alone again, I love both of you, get some rest" she says hugging me and Veronica goodnight. "We love you too Sweetheart" Veronica and I say at the same time embracing her tightly for a minute, she stumbled slightly and had dark circles under her eyes looking sickly pale, she felt like she was running a fever, I was worried, she insisted she was ok though. I climbed into bed with Veronica and cuddled up to her "She's in such a raw space right now" Veronica says "You remember how you were right after leaving Peter, it's similar in some ways" I say. "You were so sweet and understanding, kind and gentle, you were loving and emotionally raw from the beginning, it was hard to let you in but I knew what I wanted, you were the one, I guess I had known I was in love with you since you had stayed by my side the night you found me in the bathroom ruphied with that guy" She says. "I fell in love with you too but I wasn't ready to face my sexuality, it wasn't until I got pregnant with the twins that I decided I didn't care what anyone thought anymore, if you wanted to be with me, then I would gladly take someone as amazing as you and get you away from the abuse" I say. "Your the amazing one, you saved me more times than you know, you risked getting shot to get me away from him, you stood up for both of us, you worked through so much trauma and you gave me all the love in the universe instead of abusing me, you showed me what being married is supposed to feel like" She says. "Your worth it all, I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, I would never hurt you, I love you Veronica" I say passionately kissing her "I love you too Mary" She says her eyes gazing into mine. 17 years later and we were still madly in love, she had been with me far longer than she had been with anyone else and that was something I know won't change. "Spencer will get through this, Jess and I were sexually abused by our dad and managed to heal" I say gently "I know we both had it bad growing up, I got beat a lot but you had it far worse than I can imagine" She says. "I never wanted our kids to have to understand what abuse was" I say emotional "We did the best we could, we never abused them or hurt them, we gave them what we could" She says "I know your right, we did everything we could to give them a better childhood than we had" I say. "Let's get some rest, it's late hun" She says, I relax into her and slowly fall asleep, grateful to have such an amazing partner, she really was the best wife I could of asked for. I wake up to Spencer's screams "It's ok, I'll sleep with her, you two need to rest" Alex says gently opening the door for a second "Thank you sweetie" Veronica says, I still go check on Spencer anyways. "Spencer wake up your having a flashback" I say gently holding her hand she jolts awake hyperventilating "Deep breaths, Alex is going to stay with you ok baby, your safe" I say gently hugging Spencer quickly. Alex wraps her arms around Spencer holding her "It's ok Spence I'm here for you, I'm not going anywhere, Just breathe" Alex says, I feel her calm down slightly, I exit the room crawling back into my own bed "Alex has it under control" I say.
Jessica's POV: It was the middle of the night, Ali was having a flashback in her sleep again "It's dark, I can't breathe! Someone help me, I'm alive, mommy why did you leave me in here it's so dark" I felt a pang in my heart. How could I barely remember that night let alone have buried her alive after Mona hit her with a rock and that Peter made me bury her instead of calling for an ambulance or take her to the ER. How could of I have done that to my little Angel? They had identified a Radley escapee as the body in her grave, who evidentially had followed CeCe out a mental unit escape where she snuck out for one of Jason's wild party's. Jason's teenage years were problematic, he drank and smoked a lot of pot, the pot I didn't even really care about, I'd gotten stoned with Mary plenty of times, it was the drinking that was the main issue. What exactly it was Peter dosed with me that night I'll never really know, all I know is I still don't know how to forgive myself for what happened and what I did to my daughter, I never would have if I hadn't of been drugged. I got up and woke Ali up gently, she curled up in a ball shielding herself crying "Hey, your safe, it's just me, I promise I won't hurt you ever again, I've got you baby" I say cradling her in my arms "Mommy" She cried into my shoulder "I'm so sorry for what I did that night, I love you so much Ali" I say upset. "I know, you weren't in control, I forgive you and I love you too" She cries "It still effects you though, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, I'm glad your back now though" I say "I'm just scared" She cries "How about I hold you until you fall back asleep?" I ask gently not wanting to trigger her further. I didn't want to make it any worse, "Thank you mommy" She says relaxing into me. We both fell asleep together, I dreamt about my dad, my bad childhood, for a long time Mary was all I had, our parents didn't like how bonded we were either, when I wake up it's 6am, I go to take a shower and make breakfast for Ali, Jason wasn't around much these days, I go outside to get a breath of fresh air and run into my twin, I hug her tightly. "Good morning Mary, it's so nice to see you this early" I say gently "Good morning Jess, I just wanted to check on you, sensed you had a rough night, I love you" She says. "Your too kind, I love you too, Ali's been having a lot of nightmares, I'm struggling but I'm getting there" I respond. "I know, Spencer's in nightmare central, it reminds me of us, the way we once were" She says "Why don't we get them some fro-yo later? we can go out together and treat them to something nice" I say hoping to help in some way. "That sounds like fun, sure, I think Spencer could use a break from being inside all day" She says "How's she doing overall? I worry about her, Emily says she's been throwing up for a while now" I say. "She's still trauma response mode, She's supposed to rest for a week, I feel so bad about what happened to her, She's accepting affection at least without flinching now, I can tell she's hiding something from me though, I had no idea she was throwing up" She says, that's a little progress. "Give her some time, I'm sure she'll get better, hey, I guess we can now say the 4 of us have all slept with the same man" I say, "He still share's dna with her, no one should have to go through what she did" She says upset. "It's on the mental unit for letting him in, don't blame yourself, he's sick, I'd rather see the twins and Veronica with you than his psychcot ic self" I say, I was glad when Veronica chose to stay with Mary. She had confided in me how she felt about Veronica one night after getting a little drunk, I feel like Veronica is a good person who deserved better than that abusive sleezeball. "My family means everything to me, I'd do just about anything for Spencer, I wish I could take her pain away" She says "Just be there for her as much as you can be" I say "I am, I know she's got a family supporting her including you" She says. "I'm always here for my nieces, I've been where she is in some ways" I say "We both have, Hey, I've got to get back inside and make breakfast with Veronica, we'll get together later today, how about 1pm?" She asks "Sounds like a plan" I say. I go back inside and go check on Alison, who is still asleep I lay back down next to her quietly, taking in my sweet daughters presence, it's hard not to feel guilty, She was important to me and I knew I had hurt her that night, something I promised I'd never do again. Eventually around 8am she starts to stir "Mom, your still here" She says surprised "There's my girl, why don't you go shower, I made you breakfast, We're going out to fro-yo with the your aunts and cousins later" I say. She curls up into me for a moment before getting up, I started having flashbacks all over again *Flashback* I was only 5, clinging to Mary defensively while our mom bashed our heads in until they bled and we went unconscious "I hate both of you, why didn't I get an abortion?" The cold hearted woman said delivering the final blow. I woke up to dad shoving things inside Mary and I she looked at me horrified crying we were gagged and tied up there was nothing we could do, when it was over mom dragged us out to the garbage can in the garage and left us in it. We finally knocked it over but were stuck in the garage "Mary I'm scared I don't want to be here anymore" I said in tears "They keep hurting us, I want to run away with you" Mary said crying. We finally got the garage door to open and we ran, all the way to Aunt Carol's who called my parents who of course denied everything and picked us up. We were really in for it then, later when we were 10 we tried to make it to Los Angeles but got caught by the police who were angry our parents hadn't reported us missing. We kept trying to run away as teenagers, the abuse only got worse in some ways, accept now we were big enough to fight back. Dad was always injecting substances into us, mom beat us every day, everything was a giant blur, we had been baby sitting the Carver baby when he stopped breathing from a bad case of pneumonia, Of course our parents blamed us and admitted us to radley until we were 18, where they discovered a homemade cocktail in our systems that would have given anyone amnesia. I still remembered my first suicide attempt at 7, I had overdosed, Mary found me passed out and overdosed herself feeling like she didn't want to live without me. We woke up a few days later on the bedroom floor in pain and dizzy, it was the first time we promised to come to each other if we were feeling like hurting ourselves. We were so depressed and traumatized we were in and out of radley for a few years and it was completely miserable, we always had each other though even if it pissed off staff that we were so close, patients weren't supposed to hug each other. The psychiatrist was sexually abusive, making the situation even more traumatic. All the whip lashes and bleeding wounds, the scar tissue on the sensitive parts of our body, it wasn't right, what we'd been through. Aunt Carol felt badly later when we turned 18 that she didn't believe us but she was also wrapped up in her own world and couldn't take us in. "Mary were 18 now lets go to Upenn and get jobs, get our own apartment, escape from this unit" I had said on our 18th birthday and that's exactly what we did. We lived together until I got engaged to Kenneth, who i didn't even tell much about my past, he had no idea I'd been abused by my parents or been in radley, I stayed close to Mary, when I found out I was having another baby I immediately grabbed the house next to the one Mary had just gotten, I wanted her right there. To this day I still don't understand why our parents hurt us, and it's impossible to forget when you bleed half the time you use the bathroom. *Flashback ends* Ali went downstairs for breakfast which I reheated for her "You know Emily and I are dating now right? I just wanted to clarify" She says "I figured but I didn't want to pry, she's a good person Alison, you make a wonderful couple, I'm happy for you" I say. I didn't care about the gender of who I dated, I was kind of Asexual although I hadn't dated since Kenneth, I hadn't worked through nearly enough to jump into a relationship with someone again, Ken, was abusive and he was always putting me and my twin down. Once he even had the nerve to accuse me of being romantically involved with Mary, I went livid, it was nothing like that between us, I never really forgave him for thinking that. I only had gotten with him because he was nice to me at first, I fell into an abusive cycle much like Veronica had, Mary had parted ways with Charlottes father when she found out she was pregnant. Alison was one of the few good things to come out of my relationship with Kenneth, I haven't heard from the man since 1997 but he always paid his child support on time, he never even tried to visit with her or Jason. "Is it ok if I meet the girls at the Brew this morning? I really would like to see my girlfriend" Ali says "I don't see why not, just be back in 2 hours, I want some time with you too Ali" I say "I know mom, I want to spend time with you too" She says squeezing my hand. I end up spending a few hours at the office catching up on work, before heading back home, when I get there Alison and Emily are talking "Mrs.D it's nice to see you, I'm glad your ok and all" Emily says politely. "Please, Call me Jessica, Ali told me you two are dating, thank you for taking such good care of her and from saving me from having to worry about her getting pregnant" I say laughing slightly "Thank you" Emily says blushing. "Your more than welcome to come in for a few minutes" I say, trying to be kind "I think I'll take you up on the offer" She says stepping inside. We all talked for a few minutes, Emily was worried about Spencer not just mentally but physically, just like the rest of us, I reassured her it would be ok and that her mom's were getting her the help she needed. Emily was concerned that Spencer looked so pale and sickly though commenting that she had heard her throwing up a few times at school and that she was losing a lot of weight, I told her I would talk to Mary about it if it continued. I couldn't help but wonder myself if this business with Peter will ever truly be over, i know he's got people on the outside too that are probably keeping tabs on us.
Alex's POV: The family went out for frozen yogurt for lunch, Ali and Aunt Jessica included, we did a lot together especially since the whole doll house thing, I couldn't help feeling awful for Spencer and I couldn't relate to everything she was going through. Furthermore I was livid with Peter, What he did to Spencer was one of the worst things I could imagine, we shared half his dna, it's just sick and wrong. I try my best to comfort my twin, she's such a wreck though, all I can really do is just support her and be there, my mom understands far more than I do, she's been where Spencer is in some ways. My mom was not shy about the abuse she endured growing up, neither was mother, I still can't understand how such a soft person came out of a horrific situation. Mom and Aunt Jessica had lived through hell and were so strong for getting through it, I'd never met other people quite as kind as my family is, I was lucky I had 2 loving parents who genuinely care and are supportive as well as an amazing twin. I sat next to Spencer watching tv, She glanced down at her phone I saw a scared look form on her face as a message flashed, someone was sending threats, Peter but how? "Spence hey you ok?" I ask putting my arms around her, mom holds her close "I won't let anyone hurt you" Mom says gently. "How did he get access to a phone in solitary? this nightmare never ends" Spencer says shaking "He wants you to run away from home or he'll come after all of us? What the hell is wrong with him and why would you consider doing that?" I say reading Spencer's mind. "He's a psychopath, he has no conscious. I don't want anyone to get hurt, maybe if I just do what he wants" Spencer says getting cut off by mom, starting to cry. "Spencer do you have any idea how worried sick and hurt I'd be if you ran away? I won't let you. I'm not losing you, it's one thing when you grow up and go off to college it's another thing to run away" Mom says tearing up practically squeezing Spencer. "I'm calling the prison directly, there's no way I'm going to let him keep terrorizing you Sweetie" Mother says stepping out of the room kissing Spencer and I's hair. "I know, I just, don't see a way out of this, I don't want to leave, it's already a little too late" Spencer says 'I'm not letting you run away, I love you too much, I care baby" mom says emotional "I just want him to stop and leave me alone" Spencer cries "Hey, mother is handling it, he won't get away with this" I say gently. I hope mother can do something about the situation, maybe the man does belong in a state hospital for the criminally insane, at this rate they may send him to a padded room, I sense Spence is physically sick. "Can you give me your phone Spencer? I want to take a screenshot for proof" Mom says gently, Spencer complies, I was worried about this whole situation, mother came back in the room "They are going into his solitary cell to see if they can find the phone, the police have been notified. "It looks like they are talking about sending him to a state mental facility for the criminally insane where no one can visit and he'll have no phone privileges, if you ask me he doesn't deserve the luxury" Mother says. "Let them put him in a straight jacket in a padded cell honestly! he's insane" Mom says "I agree with mom" Spencer says. "Well you may get your wish that's what they are talking about doing" Mother says "I'd pay to see him in a straight jacket" I say almost laughing "Alex, he deserves to rot in his hole of a cell, he's traumatizing my family" Mother says. "I know and I hate him for it" I say, my phone vibrates there's a message "Stupid worthless B*tch" Mother see's it and grabs my phone taking a screenshot "I can't believe I ever was with that abusive alcoholic poor excuse for a man" She says upset. "Mother he roped you into an abusive relationship and pretended to be nice at first, besides you wouldn't have Melissa, Alex or I if it wasn't for him as much as I hate to say it" Spencer says. "I wish i had followed my heart and just gotten with your mom instead" Mother says "Well your married to mom now and Peter can't break you up regardless of anything" I say seriously. They'd been married since gay marriage was legalized practically, eventually when they made it so we could be adopted without mom relinquishing her rights, she immediately adopted us. Peter wouldn't let Melissa get adopted or mom would have taken her too it, we had always been a family for as long as I could remember though, I couldn't imagine anything changing that, Peter's antic's only pulled my parents closer together. "Your right, he can't break your mother and I up" Mom says, "Your right I have to be grateful for what I have now and focus on that instead of the past" Mother says "You better not forget how much you mean to me Veronica" Mom says emotionally. "I could never forget" Mother says. "Can I have my phone back?" I ask "I think it's best if I hold onto it for a bit, incase you get anymore messages from him" Mother says "Yeah, Spence were going to hold onto yours for a few hours too, just to be safe" Mom says. I see Spencer's nose start to bleed, I give her a tissue "Spence your running a fever" I say concerned, she gets a cold sweat "Your burning up honey" Mom says laying Spencers head in her lap, feeling her forehead "Let me get some ibuprophen, the thermometer and a cold pack" Mother says getting up. Spencer looked deathly pale, there were dark circles around her eyes, her nose wouldn't stop bleeding "Maybe I should take you back to the ER" Mom says worried. I read my twins mind "Spence how could you not say anything? this is really serious, I'm losing you, you need to at least try new treatment options, don't give up without a fight, if you don't tell mom's I will, they need to know" I say breaking down holding my twin close. She is dying of blood cancer, that might of gone up into her brain already and she hadn't wanted to be a bother or upset anyone, well I am extremely upset mom's need to know, how long did she think she could keep me from sensing what was wrong?. "Not say anything about what? Spence sweetheart whats going on? I know you've been keeping a secret, you keep saying it's nothing when your sick as a dog, I think it's time you tell your mother's why your so sick" Mom says worried, her voice shaky and for a good reason, if my twin wouldn't tell them on her own I had to speak up. Mother comes back in the room sitting down "Spence? What's going on? you need to be honest, mom and I told you were in this every step of the way with you, it's obvious your seriously sick, talk to us, please, we can't help you if you shut us out" Mother says concerned, Spence is running a 105 fever. "You need an ER" Mother states "There's nothing they can do, it's too late" Spencer says tearing up "What do you mean too late? this is serious Spence, please, whats going on with you? we care, we're your moms we need to know" Mom practically begs for an answer. "Back when I was first admitted to the er.. they said I had end stage leukemia, I didn't want anyone to know, I didn't want to see you guys worrying and hurting, I didn't want people to know I'm dying and cause you guys all this heartbreak" Spencer says completely breaking down in tears, I knew how hard that was for her to say. "So that's why you wouldn't let us look at your labwork? Oh my sweet child, I can't lose you, I'm so sorry, I knew you had gotten sick a few times lately, I should of realized you were this sick" Mom says breaking down, stroking spencers hair. "We all should of realized, you lost so much weight in the last few months sweetie" Mother says "I'm going to go get your labs from your room, mother's got experience with cancer" I say rushing upstairs, I hand her the paperwork, mother looks it over grimly. "This is end stage results, Spence honey, we have to take you to Philadelphia and have you admitted to the cancer center for children immediately, your fever is too high, there's new treatment options that they can try on you, the fights not over yet, your going to live a long happy life despite this bump in the road, if I can help it, if you just sit around here though you won't have much longer left at the rate it's progressing, this is an emergency, I can't believe they didn't transfer you to Phili in the first place instead of sending you to the mental unit, the hospital really should have told us for you" Mother says teary eyed, upset at the hospital for withholding information. She holds Spence close for a minute. kissing her head "Let me pack a bag for you and mom's" I say heading upstairs again. I couldn't help but wonder why I was perfectly healthy and Spencer was dying of cancer, I feel guilty, what am I going to do if she dies? we're so close.
Spencers POV: It was out of the bag, I was end stage with Leukemia and my parents were rushing me off to the children's hospital for cancer in Philadelphia at 7pm at night, I felt both my mom's holding me close in tears, this is why I didn't tell them. "You have to at least try to fight Spence baby, I'd be completely heartbroken without you, I need you, we all do" Mom sobs out. "We're not letting you just give up sweetie" Mother says, "Hey, at least you have a duplicate of me to take my place" I say unsure of how to respond. "Baby you and Alex are two different people, even though you look the same, I can't replace you, your extremely close with mother and I, Alex more independent, your heart is so soft and big, you got that from me" Mom says upset. Aunt Jessica knocks on the door "I'm so sorry Spence, I had no idea you were this sick, what can I do to help?" Jessica asks, "Can you let Ali know whats going on? we're taking her to Philadelphia to the children's cancer center, they caught it way too late though, we don't want to separate Alex from Spencer right now, Alex will have to come back for school in a few days though, I may need you to pick her up and take care of her for a few days" Mom says. "Of course, get better I love all of you" Aunt Jessica says rubbing circles on my back, I feel her kiss the top of my head "Thanks Jess, we love you too" Mom says getting up to hug her twin. "Take care of her the best you can" Aunt Jessica says quietly "Thank you, I'm grateful to have you as a sister in law" Mother says hugging aunt Jessica "Thank you aunt Jessica, I love you too" I say gently as she left. I had hoped I'd just die peacefully and it would hurt a lot less, instead I was no longer alone in this diagnosis and had to fight for my life, I wasn't going to just give up anymore. Soon I'm in the car trying not to throw up, I lay down in the backseat when I get there they tell us there's usually a waitlist to get in here for treatment, but since my fever is so high they triage me and at least and look over my labs, deciding to admit me for some new fangled T cell therapy but first they have to Mri my brain. Thankfully there's no tumor just mutated tissue, They hook me up to a bunch of machines. take blood and make sure I get IV fluids, stating the dr will be in first thing in the morning to go over everything, the nurse places a cold washcloth over my forehead and gave me something for the nausea and the fever. Mom's and Alex refused to leave my side, mom curled up in the hospital bed with me and held me, mother was going through her own emotions, she was a breast cancer survivor, Alex was a mess. "Is there anything we can do to make you more comfortable?" Mom asks cradling my head to her "I could use another pillow" I respond sheepishly not wanting to be a bother "Let me get a nurse" Mother says, She comes back in with another pillow and some gingerale "Thank you mother" I say gently "Let me know if there's anything else I can do honey" She says kissing my cheek tearing up. "I'll stay as long as mom's let me, there's no way I'm leaving your side right now" My twin says sitting next to mother "Thank you" right now I really just want to rest, the nurse gives me a patch of clonidine to help me sleep and help with the bone pain. I fall asleep wrapped in my mom's arms with my head buried in her shoulder, when I wake up it's 4am, I notice I'm hooked up to oxygen my vitals are erratic the ekg machine is making sounds. Why did everything feel so cold? and why did it smell like gas?. Suddenly I felt my body convulse, everything went blank, I woke up to two very worried mom's and a frantic twin "What happened? I feel like I got hit by a train" I say groggily "You had a seizure in the middle of the night they had to give you a shot of valium" mother says "It's a good thing we brought you in when we did" Mom says. "You can thank Alex's twinsense" I say in a serious tone "I shouldn't of had to read your mind, you should of said something, we could of gotten you help sooner" Alex says upset. "Well, Melissa and CeCe are coming in from London to see you Spencer, they should be here tomorrow, Toby is coming later today, right now we just want you to focus on resting, the girls can come this weekend" Mother says gently. "Melissa and Cece are coming, really? Cece didn't didn't stay when mom died and neither came when Alex and I got out of the dollhouse" I say surprised "They are both very upset about your diagnosis and they want to see you, after all we don't know.." Mother says trailing off. "Let's not go there Veronica, I don't know if I can handle losing you Spencer, we're so close" Mom says "Yeah, as strong as I am, I don't think I can handle losing my twin, we're really close too" Alex says tearing up. "I know, I don't want to think about it either. I'm very close with Spencer too, but we have to be realistic, Spencer is extremely sick" Mother says. "Hey, I'm not giving up so can we try to be positive? please? I need my family's support" I say trying not to completely break down "I know your right" Mother says. The dr comes in the room and explains the plan, the procedure is complex but it's been showing good results, they basically take my t cells out, reprogram, them and put them back in I'll have to stay for a month though for monitoring and care, I might need multiple rounds of treatment and an Iorn transfusion because I'm extremely anemic. Thy should be taking me down for my first round of treatment today, I'm nervous as hell. "Mom's how are you even affording this?" I ask worried that I'm leaving them broke "My insurance is covering it, I took the week off from work, your more important than my job" Mother says. "And I have Caleb helping with the lost woods after school, so there's nothing to worry about, Aunt Jessica will come up in a few days with Ali for a visit, Alex will have to go back in 2 days though, she can't keep missing school, I just didn't want to split you up, I was worried about you having a physical reaction" Mom says. "Your right, I need to be near Alex right now" Spencer says "If it was me, I'd have a reaction from being separated from Jessica, I get it" Mom says "When they initially told me how sick I was, I went into shock, I thought it was best if I died peacefully without anyone knowing, that it would be less painful for everyone that way, now I have the drive to fight this, I believe this treatment could really work, I have to give this my all and at least try" I say trying to keep my emotions in check. "It would not have been less painful and we'd of all blamed ourselves for not knowing, it would have been awful to lose you that way, I'd of never forgiven myself" Mom says upset. "Speaking of which, their giving you and I genetic testing and making sure I'm not sick too" Alex says "Better safe than sorry" I say "I know, I just don't want to be sick" Alex says. "Hey if its something genetic they can get ahead of the game" I say "You do have a point" Alex says "Whatever happens we'll get through it together as a family" Mom says. I sit and watch tv, law and order is on, they come draw Alex and I's blood for testing, we talk about positive thing's. I talk about wanting to go off to college and leave highschool behind, my mom reminds me I'm going to have a lot of homework to catch up on if I want to graduate on time, possibly summer school. I ask for something with caffeine but mother gives me more gingerale stating it will help with the nausea, and that I'm in no condition for caffeine, I drink it slowly. They took me off my Adderall, because I'm so sick, The hospital gives me yogurt for lunch and some applesauce, it's hard to keep anything down right now. A few hours later the dr comes back in the room "I don't have the genetic results back yet, that takes a few days, I have bad news though, Alex is in stage 1 leukemia CML same type as Spencer, thankfully since we caught it in the early stages, she can get the same treatment as Spencer and go into remission easily, we'll have to admit her though" The dr says. "Oh honey, I'm so sorry, at least they caught it early" Mother says "I can't believe your both so sick" Mom says tearing up "This stinks" Alex says. "Cancer runs in my family, it's probably my fault" Mom says "Hey it's not anyone's fault, let's just be grateful Alex is going to be ok" Mother says. The registration person comes and checks my sister in taking her into triage, my mom texts aunt Jessica, they roll in a 2nd bed next to mine a nurse comes back with Alex a few minutes later. "She's got a slight fever and is having trouble breathing, I'm going to hook Alex up to an IV and give her fluids as well as some oxygen her oxygen sat is 94, she's going to get a ekg monitor too, just to be safe" The nurse says. I see them put in the IV draw more labs, hook her up to the fluids and machines. They give her a shot of anti nausea medicine and a clonidine patch like they did with me "Hey your going to be ok" I say squeezing her hand. Mother goes to lay down with Alex who's crying and comfort her "Your both going to be ok" Mother says trying to calm us down my ekg machine starts to sound off the nurse comes in. "Your throwing an arrythmia, we're going to give you some propranolol" she says returning with a blue pill, she gives me more IV valium to try to keep me comfortable and put in for an echocardiogram. I couldn't help but wonder why my twin was in stage 1 and I was stage 4, it just didn't make sense I'd been pretty healthy from what I understood and then out of the blue this rapidly onset, Although they had gotten my records and the dr's in rosewood definitely had missed quite a few red flags. If they'd run more labs they would have caught it sooner, most people dont think to check their child over for cancer though when the childs not complaining about being sick. I think about getting myself a medical marijuana card, I'd be 18 in the next year and wouldn't need consent, not that I was going to smoke it, but I heard edibles helped with cancer. That was assuming I lived through this, when your this sick you never know what's going to happen, as much as I try to be positive. I envision my mom's and Alex heartbroken, mom won't get out of bed, Alex isn't eating and is barely getting up, Mother is severely depressed, I see them visiting my grave "Here lies Spencer Jill Drake beloved daughter and sister August 18th 1994- June 13th 2012", it felt so real that I teared up. The nurse comes and gets me for treatment around 1pm, it'll be a few hours before they put my t cells back in, I take a nap, in pain and nauseated when they wake me up, they put my t cells back in. I see Alex being wheeled in for the same procedure I reassure her it's not that bad, I didn't feel any worse but I also didn't feel any better, they take me back to my room "How was it?" mom asks "could of been worse" I say "Well that's good news" Mother says. In a few hours Alex comes back up she said it was much less painful than she expected, I was grateful she wouldn't need multiple rounds and had a positive prognosis. At least one of us was going to make it through this and I reminded myself that I could make a full recovery from this if things went well, which they just might. Toby comes later in the afternoon for a few hours and visits, there's lots of tears and emotion, he gives me lots of crossword puzzles to help take my mind off things, aunt Jessica drove up with him and has a very intense conversation with my mom, she asks mom's if there's anything she can do for Alex and I or for them. Mom simply asks her to have Ali keep the girls informed for Alex and I and check on the house, keep visiting, I have my phone but I don't feel up to texting the girls or anyone really, I'm too weak. Mom's go to get something to eat quickly and return, then Toby and aunt Jessica go home, aunt Jessica saying she'll be back with Ali and Jason later tomorrow. It seems like so many people at once, I didn't expect so many people to come see the "dying girl" in the hospital, I figured it'd probably just be aunt Jessica and Alison. Apparently the girls were really torn up about Alex and I, Alison was a mess over it, she didn't want to believe I was so sick, her, Alex and I did a lot together, it felt more like we were sisters in some ways. Alex and I did almost everything together though, we were inseparable, I couldn't help but wonder want she was going to without me if this treatment didn't work, and mom, she was more than just a mom, she was also one of my best friends who I often confided in, Mother and I were the same way, I was extremely close with my mom's more so than Alex is. As I say, hope breeds eternal misery, I have to be strong though, this treatment is my last hope. I'm really not ready to die at 17, I want to have a long happy life and have kids with Toby. I wanted to be there for my twin and be close with my parents until their last breath, I wanted everything to be ok somehow, I know even if I go into remission it will eventually come back though, I don't want to be labeled as sick and have my lifespan cut short. Pretty soon it's dinner time, I can't keep much down "Spence, sweetheart do you want some more gingerale?" mom asks "Sure, thank you" I say mother brings back 2 cans for me "Is there anything else we can do for either of you?" Mother asks. "Just be here" I say, Mother holds me for a minute "Honey, I'm in this with you all the way, both of you" She says softly tearing up "Thank you mother" I say holding her back, mom hugs Alex gently "We're in this as a family together" mom says. "could I get an extra blanket, I'm actually a bit cold" Alex says "Of course honey" Mother says getting up, she returns with a blanket and drapes it over Alex. Mom lays down next to me and holds me close "You'll get better, you have to" mom says full of emotion "I'm fighting this cancer" I say trying to reassure her I wasn't giving up "I'm just scared, they caught it so late, I need you alive, it's not fair" mom says. "I'll do everything I can to beat this, I don't plan on leaving you" I say "I just hope I don't end up heartbroken any more than I already am, I hope you pull through, this is about you getting better, promise me if you get sick again like this again you'll come to your moms" mom says "I promise next time I won't hide it and keep it to myself, it's easier getting through this with support anyways" I say. Alex puts on a documentary about the Vietnam war, we all watch, the nurse comes and gives me another iv shot of valium to keep me comfortable soon I fall asleep in my moms arms it's the first night I only wake up a few times. When I wake up it's 8am, I eat my yogurt and do some crossword puzzles, the nurse comes to take me for my echocardiogram, they find some early repolarization, which they don't seem too concerned about and some pvc's which may require beta blockers. When I come back the nurse explains the arrythmia to my mom's who are concerned, the dr puts me on propranolol xr to help with everything. Around 11am CeCe and Melissa arrive, very concerned "I'm going to be ok, they caught it early, it's Spencer we're really worried about" Alex says "Spence how are you feeling? this new treatment will work right?" Melissa asks hugging me gently. "I feel like I got hit by a train, and I probably won't be ok even if I survive, I have stage 4" I say emotionally "Well I hope you get better at least" CeCe says holding Alex's hand. "I can't believe my little sister might be dying" Melissa says in tears "Hey, it means a lot that you both came ok? I want you both to know I love you" I say emotionally "Spence we love you too, it'll be ok somehow, it has to be" Melissa says letting go of me "I love both my little sisters, life wouldn't be the same without you" CeCe says getting up and squeezing my hand. "Thank you for supporting your sisters, it means a lot you flew out on such short notice" Mother says "we wanted to make sure we at least saw Spencer one last time" Melissa says "Yeah, we felt it was important to take the time to say goodbye" CeCe says, "There's a chance the treatment could work, I'm not giving up yet" I say. "Spencer is far from done, regardless of how sick she is" Mom says "I can't believe Spencer hid how sick she was for so long, how miserable it must of been" Melissa says "I didn't even realize I was this sick until the hospital told me after my suicide attempt, I thought I was just burned out" I say. "I'm glad they caught it before you died" CeCe says "If they hadn't caught it when they did I might already be dead" I say emotionally "You also waited so long to tell us that we had to rush you here late at night in a panic because your fever was deadly high" mother says "Geez you pulled the same stunt mother did when she had breast cancer and didn't say anything" Melissa says. "I was trying to spare everyone the pain, I didn't realize there was treatment that could send me into remission, I thought they had caught it too late for treatment and it was difficult for me to admit I even was sick" I say upset. "Hey, We understand, that had to of taken it's toll" CeCe says "I know it wasn't easy, I'm glad you finally let us help you though, everyone was concerned Spence, it hurt to see you like that and know you were keeping what was wrong to yourself, when we wanted to support you" mom says upset. "Well you know now, and I promise if it doesn't go away or comes back ill be upfront next time" I say "Please don't shut everyone out like that again" Mom says "I'll do my best, it was hard to not tell you, I wanted to be honest but I knew how heartbroken you were going to be, I didn't want you hurting like that" I say tears running down my face. "I understand you we're trying to protect us, I'm still devastated though, it hurts to see you struggling with suicide attempts, severely traumatized, lying in a hospital bed fighting for your life with cancer" Mom says tearing up. "It's devastating to us all, your such an important part of our lives Spencer, we're all hurting because we love you" Mother says, "At least they caught it early with Alex, we wouldn't of known if it wasn't for me, I guess in some ways this is a blessing for Alex" I say. "But your still so sick, its not fair it had to happen this way" Melissa says "Yeah, I'd of rather not found out I was sick this way" Alex says "Let's just hope this treatment works" I say. We continue talking into the afternoon until aunt Jessica, Ali and Jason show up "You really are that sick, I'm sorry little sister, we're all here for you" He says "I still can't wrap my head around it, I see you practically every day, how did I miss this" Ali says. "Hey even I thought I was just burned out" I say, here I am sitting with my whole family trying to process