Written for The Houses Competition Y11, Round 6
House: Gryffindor
Class: CoMC (Stand-in)
Category: Standard
Prompts:
[Speech] "It's always a competition with you, isn't it?"
[Word] Individual
Word count: 1472
Betas: Queenie, CharlieManx, Bailey
Notes: Canon divergence. Barty Crouch Jr. and Severus Snape live. Severus is in a romantic relationship with Voldemort.
-x-x-x-
The kitchen door swung open, and Severus froze like a cornered rabbit, cursing internally. He had hoped not to be seen by anyone. He had told the house-elves to stay away for a few hours, and he doubted any Death Eaters ever visited the kitchen.
Apparently, some did, and right now the one Death Eater he detested the most was staring at him, taking in the bizarre sight of Severus in an apron, with a freshly baked cake in front of him and a bowl in his arms, mixing ingredients for the frosting.
Barty Crouch Jr. stood in the door, rooted to the floor, with a blank expression on his face.
"Snape," he finally acknowledged, blinking away the shock.
"Crouch," Severus answered icily.
"What on earth are you doing?" Barty asked, walking over to the fridge and taking out a soda.
"Mind your own damn business, Crouch," Severus spat, hoping his fellow Death Eater would just take the bottle and leave.
But, of course, the brat wouldn't go without taunting him first. Barty leaned on the counter with a nasty smirk.
"Ah, you're playing housewife, how sweet. It becomes you." He flashed an impish smile, and Severus suppressed the urge to kill him. Nodding towards the cake, Barty asked in a mock-innocent voice, "Is that for me?"
Severus shot him a hateful glare. "I haven't poisoned it, so no."
Barty laughed as if it was a great joke and, to Severus's annoyance, he took a glass from a cupboard and poured the drink into it, then sat on a stool, clearly with no intention to leave. Severus stopped himself from grunting.
"Seriously, though, what are you doing baking a cake?" he asked, taking a sip of his soda. "I assume it's for the Dark Lord?" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously when Severus just gritted his teeth and continued to mix the ingredients in the bowl, refusing to answer. "Wait, it's not some weird sex thing, is it?"
Severus dropped the spoon and stared at his fellow Death Eater with disbelief.
"What?!" he managed. That little brat and his weird ideas. "How would you even-? Oh, come on!"
Barty gave him that charming smile, which made his handsome face even more radiant and caused Severus's stomach to itch with irritation, and the potions master had to remind himself that he was Voldemort's partner, not Barty, no matter how good-looking he was.
"Well, what is it then?" Barty leaned on the counter. "I'm dying to know!"
"Promise?" Severus muttered under his breath. When he met Barty's expectant gaze, he huffed, "Well, I can't tell you, can I? The Dark Lord trusts me with his secrets."
Barty snorted. "Please. Anything the Dark Lord tells you, I probably know too."
Unfortunately, Severus knew it was true, although he would never admit it out loud. Apart from himself, Barty was still the Dark Lord's most trusted follower.
"Not anything," Severus hissed through gritted teeth, "obviously."
But the young man wasn't stupid, and the situation was quite obvious. With wide eyes, he pointed at the cake and opened his mouth in shock, realization dawning on him.
"It's his birthday!"
Severus closed his eyes, trying to refrain from obliviating him.
"No one can know," he said venomously.
"I'm not an idiot, Snape," Barty retorted indignantly. Severus made a face suggesting he disagreed, but Barty ignored it. "How did you get it out of him, though? No one has ever managed to find out when his birthday is."
"He simply trusts me more than you," he stated, feeling his lips spread in a nasty smirk, although his triumph was short-lived. Barty wouldn't be fooled. When he shot him a 'be serious' look, Severus rolled his eyes and bitterly admitted, "He let it slip."
"Do you really think our Master will want to celebrate his birthday?" Barty asked incredulously.
"Absolutely not."
"And yet you're baking him a cake anyway."
Severus gave him a satisfied grin. "You bet I am."
He got back to his frosting but stopped again when he saw Barty consider the cake critically and step closer than Severus would like him to.
"Can I help?" the younger Death Eater asked.
"No," Severus spat angrily.
"Why not?" Barty reached for the spot where the cake seemed a bit (alright, a lot) askew. "If we work together, we can–"
"Keep. Your. Hands. Off. My. Cake!" Severus furiously batted Barty's hands away.
"Hey!" Barty exclaimed indignantly but took a step back nonetheless. "I live here, same as you. I have just as much right to use the kitchen and bake a cake if I want to!"
"Go ahead, I'm not stopping you!" Severus spat. "You're welcome to bake your own individual cake, just keep away from mine!"
Barty pressed his lips together, and Severus reveled in the rare sight of managing to get him angered, albeit slightly.
"Fine. I'll bake my own individual cake."
Severus still had most of the ingredients on the counter, but Barty had enough brains to retrieve his own from the fridge and cupboards. However, after searching for a while, he reached for the eggs sitting next to the bowl by Severus's arm.
"No, no, no." Severus pushed him away. "You keep to your own individual space. This," he motioned around with his hands, "is my individual space."
Barty clenched his jaw. Making a visible effort to stay calm, he said, "Snape, have you noticed how the only eggs are in your individual space?"
Suppressing a smirk, Severus raised an eyebrow. "Funny how that turned out."
"Oh, come on, Snape," Barty tried one more time, almost sheepishly. "Can't I just help you with yours? I'll tell the Dark Lord I only helped decorate it if it's that important to you, just let me have some input. What would our Master want with two cakes?"
"I don't know what he would want with your cake," he replied coldly, "since mine is obviously going to be better."
"It's always a competition with you, isn't it?" Barty shook his head.
"It's no competition if I know I'll win," Severus muttered.
That seemed to get under his skin.
"Oh, really?" Barty slammed his palm on the counter, his eyes flashing furiously. "Well, then my cake will be bigger than yours. And it won't look like it tried to escape from the oven." He nodded towards Severus's tilted cake with disdain.
"It's not the size or shape that matters, Crouch," Severus retorted, not even bothering to hide his contempt anymore.
Barty snorted derisively. "Is that what you tell yourself, Snape?"
Severus gritted his teeth and, with a bang, threw the bowl of unfinished frosting onto the counter.
"My cake is chocolate," he pointed out venomously. "His favorite flavor."
"Oh, yeah? Well, mine will be a chocolate cheesecake! Two in one!"
"Mine will have black frosting with a green painting of the Dark Mark!" Severus shouted the first thing he could come up with on the spot, although he actually had no idea how to decorate the cake that way.
"And mine will have little Death Eater topper figurines!" Barty yelled back, lounging towards the ingredients on Severus's side of the counter. "Now give me those eggs!"
Severus grabbed his wrists, trying to push him away, and they began to wrestle like children in a sandbox. Barty managed to free one hand and reached for the eggs with it. Severus quickly shoved it down, which resulted in Barty's elbow landing in the cake, squashing it. With a sharp intake of breath and his heart sinking, Severus let him go, and they both stood there, staring at the damage.
Barty was the first one to find his voice.
"You know what? It's actually an improvement," he said, amused, failing to suppress a chuckle.
Severus felt his blood boil. It was all a joke to him, that little brat. Without thinking, he grabbed the younger Death Eater by his fair hair and pushed his head into the cake.
Barty slowly lifted himself from the counter, chocolate cake smeared all over his face. Holding Severus's gaze, he licked and smacked his lips ostentatiously.
"You really should have accepted my help, Snape," he drawled. "Because your individual cake sucks!"
And then he started laughing uncontrollably. Perhaps he meant to lighten the mood, but it only annoyed Severus further. Remembering he had a wand, he flicked it, and an egg flew from the counter and smashed against Barty's chest. Barty drew his wand as well, and soon the whole kitchen became a battlefield. Flour, sugar, the unfinished frosting, and the remains of the chocolate cake were flying in all directions.
Severus knew the Dark Lord wouldn't be pleased he had picked yet another fight with Barty, but at that moment, all he cared about was hitting his rival with more eggs than Barty managed to hit him with.