Woot woot! Next chapter up! And you didn't have to wait three weeks for it! I am trying to get back into the swing of things, but there is so much on my plate right now! November has been a very busy month. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy this chapter! I am always so excited to get feedback from all of you. Thank you to everyone taking an interest in the story (so of course to everyone reading/following/favoriting and reviewing!). If you have any questions or concerns or just want to throw in a suggestion, please send me a PM! I will get back to you as soon as I can. Enough of this intro! On to the chapter!

Chapter 18

He was in shock. What was he supposed to do? It wasn't exactly something he was familiar with. He had witnessed kissing, but he had never taken part in it. Garrus just knew that he had to start improvising or she might stop, and that was not something he wanted.

The mattress shifted as Jane moved tentatively closer as she continued to kiss him. He hadn't really responded much but maybe he just didn't know what to do. She placed one hand on the side of his face and the other on his neck, both very lightly, trying to judge if, or when, he would push her away. Normally, her mind would be screaming at her that this was wrong, that he didn't want her, and a thousand other things, but thankfully, the alcohol had silenced her inner monologue.

True, he had never experienced a kiss, and in all rights it shouldn't make him feel anything, but this certainly changed his mind. He wanted her; there was no question about it. He felt her hands gently touch his face and neck; he decided to follow her lead. His hands settled on her waist, something he had been dying to touch, especially tonight. Finally, with more thought than what was probably needed, he began to reciprocate the kiss as best he could without human lips.

Feeling him respond to her sent her emotions through the roof. She had always wondered what it would be like to kiss him and despite him only having mouth plates, it was exhilarating. Deciding to push her luck a little more, she parted her lips and ran her tongue along the edge of his mouth.

The touch of her tongue against him coaxed out a primal drive; he had to taste her for himself. Opening his mouth, he accepted her invitation and tentatively reached out with his tongue to brush it against hers. A spark coursed through them, fueling a desire that each of them had kept hidden. They each gasped a quick breath at the touch. Jane sat in his lap, straddling her legs around him when he pulled her closer, while never breaking their kiss.

Garrus released her hips long enough to quickly tear his gloves off; he had to feel her skin against his, and he never wanted to wear gloves again around her. Starting at the back of her neck, he moved his hands down to her shoulders, down both of her arms and then back to her shoulders, he continued down her sides, and finally along her hips to grip the tops of her thighs. Every touch of his sent shivers through her, causing her to only want him more. She felt his talons move up to the bare patch of skin between her corset and jeans, when she felt the dangerous nails lightly rake her skin under the edge of her corset, she wanted nothing more than to remove it for him. That would be next, but right now she had to test what she had heard about the spot under a turian's fringe.

He emanated a low growl mixed with a moan as he felt her fingers kneed the sensitive skin. It could have been luck, or she could have done her research, either way, he didn't care. When her mouth left his, he wanted to pull her back but he was intrigued as she kissed along his mandible and onto his neck. She paused just below his jaw, placed a lingering kiss, a quick lick and nipped at the spot. The feel of her teeth against his skin caused him to struggle for control; he clamped down his jaw and mandibles, fighting to stay in control. She did it again and he gripped her a little tighter, his talons digging in and scratching her sides. Jane threw her head back in a gasp, mingled with pain and pleasure, and Garrus attackd her neck in kind.

Licking and nipping, he traveled along her soft, fair skin from her neck to her bared shoulder. She ran her hand along the back of his neck and beneath his fringe, holding his head to her. A low rumble began to build from Garrus's chest that transitioned into a hiss when it reached his throat. Making his way back to the junction of her neck and shoulder, he positioned his jaws over her skin, ready to mark her. Just before sinking his teeth in, Garrus stopped; he wasn't with a turian, Jane wouldn't know what he was telling her. Carefully pulling his sharp teeth away from her, Garrus leaned back to look at her.

Feeling his hesitation, Jane matched his eyes, "Why did you stop?" she whispered.

"No reason." Just trying to freeze this moment, he thought. Running a talon along her scalp, through her hair, he watched her lean into his touch with a slight smile as she closed her eyes. Sliding a hand up to her ribs, Garrus closed the distance between them, capturing her lips once again and pushing her down against the bed. That feeling, however, came back to him; they were so very different.

Jane smiled to herself, finally, after all this time, he had accepted her. She sighed. "Why haven't we done this before?" she asked, mostly to herself.

He paused again. Why… because you would never do this sober… Garrus could almost feel his heart cracking. She would never, had never, kissed him before. What made this night any different? She was drunk out of her mind. Humans usually say that things come in threes, and he had found his three reasons why he was wrong for doing this: she was drunk, she didn't actually want him, and he wasn't right for her. And if by some tiny remote chance she did want him, he wanted her to be at her best, not on the verge of pouring herself in bed and passing out.

She was stroking his neck and kissing his mandible when he pushed himself from her. "Garrus?" she looked up into his eyes and saw the torment behind them, "What's wrong?" she moved to place a hand on his cheek but he caught her wrist and gently put it down.

"I don't think…"

"Think what?"

… You want this. "Maybe we shouldn't rush into this," Garrus opted for. She looked up at him confused. "Nothing is more important to me than being here, with you, but I don't want to pressure you in any way. I would be happy just spending time with you."

Jane's emotions seemed to change direction in a snap. She was so caught up in the romance and feelings of his words, she became puddy. "I am happy with whatever time you give me with you." He still hovered over her but he had definitely relaxed more than before. Her fingertips lightly traced from the base of his fringe, along his temple and cheek, and finally down his mandible to end it with a kiss.

Garrus couldn't help the croon that came from him, or stop himself from leaning into her touch. Reluctantly, he shifted his weight to one side, stretching out on his back with his head turned to the side to look at her.

She smiled at him and scooted closer to rest her head on his shoulder draping an arm across him. His hesitation was apparent as his hand hovered above her and finally rested on her ribs. "I wish you were coming with me. I'm going to miss you," Jane whispered.

"Me too," Garrus replied. They fell silent, Garrus still lost in his thoughts. The sound of humming brought him out of his musings and he looked down at Jane, feeling the vibration coming from her. "Will you sing that to me?"

She paused to give a small chuckle, "It is a little embarrassing. It kind of fits in this situation." Her words had a sleepy resonance to them.

"Please? I would love to hear it."

She began humming again and slowly transitioned into singing, "… knew it all along. How did it, come so fast? This is our last night, but it's late, And I'm trying not to sleep. 'Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip… away…"

Garrus waited for more but noticed that she wasn't even humming anymore. Her breathing was steady and her muscles relaxed, sleep had won. He continued to gaze at her, and thought back on his previous inclination to not tell her how he felt. Maybe, just maybe, we could try a relationship, despite the distance. I know I would wait for her… if she asks it of me. I will let her choose in the morning.

Tali sat hunched over the table in the mess, waiting for the drugs from Chakwas to kick in. Why did she drink so much again? Hadn't she learned her lesson from the last time? Apparently not… she thought to herself. She heard movement to her right, but it might as well have been someone attacking the wall it pounded in her head so harshly.

"Hey, Tali," the voice whispered.

Peeking to the side, she saw John take the seat next to her. "Morning, John."

"Actually, it's afternoon." He silently chuckled when he heard her groan, "Can I get you anything to help?"

"Can you fast forward time? That would help."

"No," he laughed, "Want me to get you something from Chakwas?"

"Already did, but thanks, John."

"Alright, I'll leave you be. Hope you feel better."

She groaned another appreciative thanks as he left. He was too nice to her, and most of the time she didn't feel worthy of someone like him. Putting her head back down, she felt herself drift in and out until she heard footsteps, "Back already, John?"

"Sorry, not John," a two-toned voice said.

"Garrus?" Tali jumped a little. "Um…" she held her head, woozy after her sudden moment, "did you stay here?"

"I did. Figured I would spend one more night on the ship, for old time's sake." Garrus tried not to laugh at his friend who was in obvious pain. "I would give you one of these, but neither of them have been filtered to your requirements."

It took him pointing it out for her to notice the two mugs in his hands. "What are those?"

"Turian tea. Always helps me with a hangover, thought I would see if Shepard would want any."

"Oooh yeah, you and Shepard left together last night…" Tali tried to be teasing but it was sounding more like she was dying. To Garrus's credit, he still picked up on her meaning.

"Not like that. I just brought her here."

Tali rolled her eyes despite the fact that he couldn't see the motion. Those two will never get the hint. Both are just too damn stubborn. "Well, don't let me keep you. No one has seen Jane this morning. Pretty sure she is nursing a worse hangover than all of us combined."

"I'll keep that in mind." Garrus picked up the two mugs and went into Shepard's quarters. She was still asleep, her arm stretched out over the spot where he had been with the covers loosely draped over the lower half of her body. He gently sat down on the edge of the bed and took a sip from his cup as he admired her. Her fringe was tangled and out of place, he still didn't understand how all those strands worked the way they did, but he really did like the feel of them. The powder around her eyes had smeared a little but she was still gorgeous. She was perfect. Fitting both cups into one hand, he ran a talon across her back, he watched as her skin and the tattoos flexed with it. He looked at the colors, names and shapes, his heart feeling heavy for her and what she had been through, wishing and hoping she would never have to do deal with that heartbreak again. Placing a hand on Jane's shoulder, he gave her a small shake, "Jane, time to get up."

Jane groaned and turned into the pillow hoping to block out the noise and the throbbing that was forming in her head.

He kept his chuckle quiet and gave her another shake. "I know you don't want to get up, but it is getting late in the day."

"Five more minutes…" she mumbled.

"Nope. Come on, time to get up."

Cracking open one eye, she peered up at him, "Why are you so mean?"

"If I were mean, would I have brought you something?" Garrus held up the cups.

"What is it?"

"It is a turian tea, a particular brew that always helps me with my hangovers. I figured there is a chance it might help you."

Jane stared at him through one eye for a little while before moaning and finally pushing herself upright. Crossing her legs, she faced Garrus and lightly rubbed one eye before accepting the cup, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he whispered with a smile.

"How long before it starts to help? Because right now I feel like I want to die."

"Well, there are plenty of people, and machines, who have tried. I am sure we can find a few more."

Jane laughed and immediately regretted it, "Ouch… try not to make me laugh please," she grinned.

They sat in silence, sipping on their tea, neither of them knowing what to say.

"I need to ask you something," Jane said staring into her cup.

"Sure, anything." Is her mind in the same place as mine? Ask me and I am yours.

"What… Damn this is kind of embarrassing…" Jane looked up at him, her face filled with worry. She had vague recollections of last night but she wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't. Had her imagination run away with her and she had just pictured their triste? She remembered kissing him and then him pulling away asking to stop. Something told her there was more to it than those two instances, but that was all she could remember. How embarrassing… "I have to ask, did anything… happen last night? You know… between us?"

That was not the question Garrus had been hoping for. He wanted to ask her what she remembered, to know exactly how much she knew and fill her in on everything, but something in her worried expression stopped him. The way that she was looking at him made him think she did remember everything and she was just looking for confirmation that he wouldn't judge her for being drunk. "No. Nothing happened."

There was something in his look that didn't quite convince her, but he seemed pretty normal. Jane sighed in relief, glad she hadn't made a fool of herself to the person she cared about most. "Thanks, Garrus. I won't lie, from what I do remember of last night, I feel incredibly embarrassed at my behavior. Did I really dance on the bar?"

The look of relief on her face said everything to him. Garrus tried his best to fall back into their friendly ways, but the pain and hurt was still fresh in him. "Yes," he laughed, "Alenko and John had to drag you down from it."

"Ugh…" she laughed at herself.

It still hurt not to be what she wanted, but it was good to see her smiling and laughing again. He would be whatever she needed. Her happiness was all he wanted for her.

"Oh, god! I sang in front of you, didn't I?" When he nodded Jane covered her face with one hand, "Jesus… again, I want to die."

"Oh, come on," Garrus wrapped his hand around her wrist to pull her hand from her face, "You are a fantastic singer. I was honored to hear it."

Jane rolled her eyes at him and gave another sigh. Glancing around the room, Jane felt like something was a little different but when her eyes fell on the clock she panicked. "Shit! Is that really the time?" she exclaimed and proceeded to hold her head after her outburst.

Garrus looked at the clock, "That is the time."

"Shit! I am late!" Jane threw the covers to the side and scooted out of bed. Setting the cup on the table, Jane rushed around to find her uniform, explaining as she went, "I am supposed to meet Anderson and Udina before I ship out. I barely have enough time to shower, dress and meet them. And that is if I run."

"Then I won't keep you," Garrus stood and made his way for the door.

"Garrus, wait," Jane came rushing over to him, setting her uniform down on the table. He stopped and Jane halted before him. She wanted to say so much more to him but the words wouldn't come. "Thank you. For everything. You are the greatest friend anyone could ever ask for. I am lucky to have you." And I want to be so much more because I love you.

A friend, now that hurt… He couldn't tell her how he felt, because he was a friend. "You are a great friend too, Jane. And you're welcome."

"Will you still come by to say goodbye? Before we ship out I mean?"

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it."

"Thanks." They stood awkwardly with each other, unsure how to proceed. Jane rocked awkwardly on her heels, "I'll see you later, then."

Garrus only nodded before backing away from her and heading out the door.

Jane stood shocked for a moment. How could she not have said anything before? But now they were out of time. With the thought of what time it was, Jane snapped back into rushing mode and ran into her bathroom. She took one quick glance in the mirror, "Son of a bitch!" she groaned in exasperation as she took in her appearance. I can't believe I looked like this all morning around him.

Trying to get over it, she stripped out of her clothes from the night before and jumped in the shower. It was still pretty cold but there was no time for it to warm up. There was also a stinging on her sides but she reasoned that it was probably just from the chilly water. Jumping out as soon as she could, she toweled off; again, there was a stinging on her sides, but she ignored it. She had places to be.

Jane made her way back to the Normandy. It was almost time to leave. Udina hadn't been much help, really just telling her how much of a mistake she had made by not supporting him. But, Anderson did want her to continue trying to find proof of the Reaper threat. She was glad she had his support. Even the support of one council member could change everything.

Pausing at the docks, she looked around at the destruction. All races, especially the keepers, were hard at work trying to put the Citadel back together. Right now things still looked pretty bleak, but she imagined the next time she came back it would almost be good as new. She just wished that it wasn't too long of a wait to see the Citadel again.

Uncrossing her arms, she placed a hand on her side only to pull away instantly at the pain there. What the hell could be irritating me? She thought back, it hadn't bothered her last night when they were out, it had started this morning in the shower. But what could have happened between then and now? Still looking down at her side, she cautiously grabbed the edge of her uniform. She began to lift it, hoping to unveil what had happened. She had seen a small flicker of red before she felt a heavy thump on her back causing her to drop the fabric.

"I gotta say, Shepard. It has been a wild ride," her friend rumbled.

"I know what you mean, Wrex," Jane smiled back at him, completely forgetting the mystery.

"I still think that you cheated, but I think I'll let you slide."

"Thanks, but I think we are both a little at fault for playing to our advantages."

"I suppose so."

"So, when do you head back to Tuchanga?" Jane asked.

"Three days. I was lucky to find a ship heading there this soon."

"Kind of helps when they know who you are," she chuckled. "I am going to miss having you around. I might have to swing by and pick you up for old time's sake."

"You'll manage just fine without me. But in the meantime, be sure to kick ass out there." Wrex stood awkwardly before his commander and took a step towards her. She never flinched, even when he put his arms around her for a hug. Jane began to tear up as she hugged her friend back. Wrex released his friend and backed away from her, "You tell anyone about that," he jabbed his finger in her direction, "I will not hesitate to kill you."

"Don't worry, I wouldn't dream of it."

"Good luck, Shepard."

"You too, Wrex." She waved to him as he gave a curt nod and walked away from her.

"Shepard," a voice said behind her, making her jump.

"Garrus," she smiled up at him, "good to see you made it."

"Of course I did. How could I miss it?" There was an awkward pause as they stared at the Normandy and stole glances at one another. Clearing his throat, Garrus grabbed Jane's attention again, "I brought something for you."

Jane raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Don't worry, it's not a gift. Think of it as more of a… loan." He smiled down at her as she narrowed her eyes in confusion, trying to figure out what he was hiding. Reaching behind himself, he unhinged his sniper rifle, the HMWSR X unfolding in his hand to hold it out to Jane. "Here."

She looked down at the gun then back up at Garrus, "You don't want it anymore?"

"It's not that. I love the gun, you know that. But… since I can't be there watching your back, I think you might get more use out of it than I will. Besides, you need a great sniper."

"Aww… you think I am a great sniper?" Jane practically practically sung.

"Don't let it get to your head," he teased. "So, are you going to take it or what?"

"Garrus," Jane sighed and ran a hand over the rifle, "I can't. I gave this to you. I wanted you to have it. And you are going to need this in Spectre training."

"I know, I know… but I can do without it for training. I am sure it will do you more good in the field than it will for me in training. I know you could easily get another rifle like this, but… at least this is a part of me that can help keep you safe since I won't be there to do it."

She bit back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. Jane refused to react like this. "Thank you, Garrus. I don't know what to say…"

"Then don't say anything. Just take it already," he chuckled and pushed it towards her again.

She gripped it in her hands and smiled up at him, "Again, thank you." Jane set the safety, causing the gun to collapse on itself since she was not wearing her armor. There was so much more that she wanted to say and ask, but how could she as they were saying goodbye? There wasn't enough time.

Garrus looked down at Jane, their eyes holding one another's yet he didn't know what to say. How could he tell her everything in their goodbye?

"Garrus, I need to ask –"

"Jane, I think I should – "

They each started speaking over each other and both stopped at the same moment.

"I'm sorry," Jane shook her head, "you go."

"No, I insist, you first," Garrus muttered.

"Okay…" Jane bit her lip, "This may seem a little odd… but I just need to ask… about last ni –" she was interrupted as an arm threw itself around her neck, its match going over Garrus's.

"Hey there, guys!" John practically yelled despite the close proximity. "So, Scaley, who am I going to annoy now that you won't be around all the time?"

"I suppose there is always Jane," Garrus answered with a small smirk on his face as he looked at Jane.

"Oh yeah," Jane looked between the two of them, "how are you two going to cope without each other for so long? Are you sure your bromance will survive the time apart?"

"You know, Garrus? I think you are right. I need to start teasing my little sister again!" John released Garrus and wrapped Jane into a head lock before quickly releasing her so she would not hurt him.

Pushing her brother away, Jane straightened her wardrobe and hair. "You are under my command now, so don't even think about it."

"You need to loosen up more often," he commented. Looking between his sister and his friend, John tried to guess what they were talking about before he arrived, because it certainly looked like he had interrupted something. Just before he was able to open his mouth to ask, a call came through on his omni-tool.

"John, we need you down in cargo bay to help with some of the organizing before we head out."

"On my way, Tali," John answered. He took one last look at the two people before him, "Well, it's been real, Garrus. I'll be sure to get us back here before your training is up. And you will have your own celebration when you are selected as a Spectre."

"Sounds good, John," Garrus responded. They gave each other a nod before John returned to the Normandy. Once his friend was out of earshot, he turned back to Jane, "Um, what were you saying before?"

"Uh… nothing. It was nothing. Thanks, again. And, I'll be sure to try to get us back to the Citadel, hopefully sooner rather than later. Bye, Garrus."

Without warning, Jane stepped forward and put her arms around him in a big hug. Garrus stood there for a moment, but gave in and put his arms around her. He felt her put her face into his shoulder and he did the same, trying to remember everything about her until the next time he would see her in person again. "Bye, Jane."

There was something about the hug that seemed a little too familiar despite the fact that she didn't remember embrassing him before. When he spoke against her, she fought the shiver that threatened to run down her spine. Slowly, she released him and took a few steps away. Unsure what else to do or say, Jane managed to choke out one more muttered, "Bye," and made her way back to the Normandy.

Garrus watched her walk away from him. In that moment, he felt the possibility that he may regret never telling her what he felt or what had happened, but for now, he was okay with his choice.

Boarding the Normandy, Jane made her way down to her locker, saluting out of habit to those she passed but never seeing their faces. Approaching her station, she opened the locker and set the gun carefully inside. She wasn't quite sure how long she had been standing there with the door shut before she heard Kaidan's voice behind her.

"Commander? Are you feeling alright?" Kaidan leaned on the wall, peeking at Jane's face.

"Hmm?" she asked while shaking her head. "Oh, yes, of course. I am fine. Um… Excuse me, I need to, uh, set our course."

"Sure. See you around, Shepard."

Jane quickly ducked away from him and made her way into her cabin. Why couldn't she focus? So many thoughts were rushing through her mind. Locking her door behind her she moved over to her bed, collapsing onto the tangled covers. She sent the destination she had been given by the Council (where to start her hunt) to Joker and closed her eyes.

By the time she awoke, Jane realized it had been a few hours since they had left the Citadel, yet her mind was no closer to feeling clear. She heaved a long sigh before opening her eyes again and noticed black fabric sitting under her desk. Her eyebrows pinched together as she stared at the item. Deciding to investigate, Jane pushed herself upright only to feel the faint pain in her side again. She realized that she had felt the same thing twice before and in the same spots but never had the chance to look at what was causing the irritation.

Lifting up the edge of her shirt, Jane saw three scratch marks, deep enough to have probably bled earlier, on her side. She checked her other side, the same three cuts: two along her back, one on her front. Memories of the night before began to flood back to her: the feel of smooth scales under her hands and along her body, talons digging into her sides, a growl, a purr, the taste of him, the feeling of his hands along her skin. It couldn't have all been a dream. Jumping up, she rushed over to grab the fabric under her desk; it was a three-fingered glove, the glove of a turian, his gloves.

How could she have forgotten something like that? Why did she have to forget that part of the night? Why didn't Garrus say anything? Was he too embarrassed? Did he think it was a mistake?

So many unanswered questions and she had just missed her chance for the answers by a few hours.

A few things before I get bombarded with questions... I know some of you will ask, "why doesn't she just ask him over extranet?" but honestly, is that how you would want to have that conversation? Personally I would prefer it to be in person myself. Second thing, I know I may have some of you ask what song Jane was singing to Garrus just before she fell asleep. If you do not know it already, I would suggest waiting and putting yourself in his shoes, find out when he does. But if not, I am sure a quick search will bring up the song for you. And if that doesn't work, just ask me. Anyway, thank you all again! (Sorry if there were a few mistakes, don't have much time for reviewing more than once or twice!)